Ms.

Invisible

"Sitting, eating, walking, doing everything alone.That's my life."
We were talking in the rooftop one day.
"No you're not."
"What makes you think I'm not alone?"
"You may not notice it but you're not alone. I'm always here beside you, just he
re for you."
Then he suddenly hugged me.
"Remember that."
Jocks, Geeks, Goths, Populars
Cliques. Stereo-typical groups in high school.
What if you don't belong in any of them?
Outcast. Loner.
That's what they call me. Everybody has their own cliques besides me.
Have you been in that situation?
Waking up every single day thinking how it sucks to go to school because no one
looks at you, no one says "hi" to you, no one even knows your name. You're just
a nameless person going to school everyday. Waking through those corridors.
That is my life. I deal with it every single day. Is it because of my looks? Or
the way I act? I didn't choose this. I tried but I just don't fit in.
I have been going through my life alone for the past 8 years. Maybe that's why I
'm used to it.
My life, no friends. No nothing. Just me, myself and I.
CHAPTER 1
"Dr. Lee?"
Dr. Lee: Come in.
I went inside Dr. Lee's office.
Dr. Lee: Beige! Nice to see you.
Beige: Hi Doc!
Dr. Lee: Time passes by real fast nga naman. It's been a month. So how are you f
eeling?
Beige: Good as new.
Dr. Lee: Nothing painful whatsoever?
Beige: Yup.
Dr. Lee: Good but I'll do some tests on you just to make sure.
Dr. Lee has been my doctor for about 2 years now ever since his father, our form
er family doctor died. I visit him every month for a check-up. Why a check-up ev
ery month you ask? Well, my dad just wants me to be healthy that's all since I w
as little I'm a bit sickly and I'm the only one he has since Mom died when I was
5.
Beige: Are the results okay Doc?
Dr. Lee: You are right. You're as good as new. The results are all okay.
Beige: Whew!
He laughed. Despite the 14 year age gap, Dr. Lee and I can talk about many thing
s. What's even weird is I'm the only one that makes him laugh aside from her dau
ghter Emily. Doctor Lee doesn't smile that much since his wife died a year ago.
Dr. Lee: So how's school? People still treating you the same way?
Beige: I bet the next thing you'll ask is "how do you feel about that?" Since wh
en did you become a psychologist? Look Doc. People in my school don't change. I
still am loner. If that's what you're asking. And I can't change that, so I live
with it.
Dr. Lee: Chill. I was just asking.
I changed the subject.
Beige: Sorry Doc but I need to go now. See you na lang next month.
Dr. Lee: Oh, before you go. Remember: Rest, rest, rest. Don't wear yourself out.
Beige: I should say the same thing to you. Have more time for Emily. She needs y
ou more than ever.
Dr. Lee: Wow. It's the kid that's giving the advice to the adult.
Beige: Well, it's the 21st century now. Things have change. Sige Doc. Need to go
. Malalate na ako.
I went straight to my first class.
"Ms. Alonzo you're late."
Beige: Sorry Sir. I went to the doctor for a check-up before coming here. You kn
ow because of the..
"Ah ok. Sit down beside Mr. Ramos, the one in the middle."
CHAPTER 2
"Settle down class. We have a new student here. Kagagaling lang niya mula sa US.
Mr. Ramos? Please introduce yourself."
"Uhm. Sorry. I'm not really good with the introducing thing but Hi! I'm Keith."
In fairness, this Keith guy is really cute. I didn't realize it is possible but
when I look at this guy it is as if he's shinning. Nakakasilaw. Hehe.
"Where in the U.S. are you exactly from Mr. Ramos?"
That's Sir John's quality I hate the most. Masyado siyang matanong. Sir John is
like an investigator but despite that he's my favorite teacher. Not because he's
handsome.. well, yeah I admit he is handsome. All the female teachers and stude
nts have a crush on him, too bad he's already married. Anyways, I like him becau
se he's a really good teacher. He's also my homeroom adviser since 1st year and
I love the subject he's teaching.. historyspecifically western history.
Keith: L.A. Sir.
Sir John: Oh, I see. Welcome to our school Mr. Ramos. You may sit down. Let's st
art our lesson. Saan tayo natapos?
"First Punic War Sir."
Sir John: Oh. Ok. In the the first punic war who won? Mr. Ramos. Do you know who
won in the first punic war?
Keith: Uhm..
He kept looking at me as if to tell him the answer. At first I didn't want but a
t the end I whispered the answer.
Beige: The Romans..
Keith: Sir, the Romans.
Sir John: Right. But next time please Ms. Alonzo don't help Mr. Ramos. Mr. Ramos
you may sit down.
Keith smiled at me and whispered "thank you" even though he got caught by Sir Jo
hn.
After the class, I went to my locker. I was fixing my things when suddenly Keith
stood beside me.
Keith: Uhm.. The girl who help me kanina. Ms. Alonzo?
Beige: It's Beige. Beige Alonzo.
Keith: Keith, Keith Ramos.
Beige: I know. You said so earlier.
This may sound weird but it is the first time a student talked to me in this hal
lway.
Keith: Thank you. I mean for the one awhile ago.
Beige: It's nothing.
The bell suddenly rang.
Beige: Uhm.. Need to go.
Keith: Ok. See you around.
I went straight to the library.
Hay.. I love the library. I like the smell of the books. I love the silence. I u
sually go to the Shakespearean section where a few of the people go since it's t
he end part of our gigantic library. It is as if it's my secret place, where I r
ead, study, listen to music and even sleep. I was sleeping when I heard people t
alking.
"Why are we even here Keith? This place is so lame."
I peek and it's Keith and his friend. As I can remember, the person he's with is
Chris. Chris, 2 words, jock and player.
Keith: Shhh Chris! I need to find a book about Julius Caesar. I need to catch up
on my studies. It's the only thing I got since I can't swim anymore.
Chris: Fine.
Keith: Give me 15 minutes.
Chris: I'll go ahead. Sa may gate ha. We'll wait for you.
I saw Keith scanning the books and looking for a book about Julius Caesar.Naaawa
na ako sa kanya so still behind the books, I suddenly blurted out..
Beige: For Pete's sake it's Aisle 5. Near the Mythology section.
Then I realized I'm already late. It's 5 pm already and I still need cook for my
Dad.
Beige: Dad! I'm home.
Dad: Here in the kitchen!
Beige: Don't tell me you're eating the cold leftover pizza.
I went straight to the kitchen and Iwas right. My Dad was munching on the leftov
er pizza.
Beige: Dad no. Sabing wag eh. Pagluluto na kita ng dinner. Just wait.
Hay.. I love my dad but he's just stubborn. Dad is the greatest! He's always the
re for me. Even when Mom is still alive he's always very supportive. The only th
ing that is Dad is not good at is cooking so in the house it's my duty to cook f
or him. Hindi pwedeng puro pizza na lang ang kinakain niya.
After eating I went to my room right away. I suddenly missed Mom. Hindi ko man s
iya nakasama ng matagal based on my Dad's description, my mom is the most beauti
ful woman he'd ever met. She's kind, generous, selfless and good in cooking. I l
ove how she reads to me stories and sang me lullabies even though she's already
weak. Hay.. I wished she was still here.
CHAPTER 3
I woke up that day, took a bath, got dressed, cooked for Dad, ate and went to st
raight to school. Same old same old. I sometimes hate how life is like a routine
. You do the same things you everyday. Nakakasawa.
Anyways, I walk for about 20 minutes from my house to school since our house is
near our school but despite the nearness of our house to the school, I'm still t
he one of the first people to arrive. So like any other day, I walk to school, w
ent to our classroom sat on my chair and sleep. I'm like Sleepy, one Snow White'
s dwarf. I constantly doze of when I'm bored or have nothing to do.
I was sleeping when suddenly I felt someone's poking me.
Beige: Is the class starting already?
When I opened my eyes it was Keith. He sat on the chair beside me and faced me.

Keith: I believe this is yours.
He handed me a notebook, actually my notebook. It's my notebook where I write my
poems, insights and favorite quotes. It's like a diary without the mushy "Dear
Diary, blah blah blah" stuffs. No one should ever see this notebook. Not even my
Dad know about this notebook.
Keith: "Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times and we will ex
perience many disappointments but all of this is transitory. It leaves no perman
ent mark. And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we h
ave taken."
By The River Piedra, I Sat Down and Wept by Paulo Coelho. At binasa pa niya tala
ga.
Keith: From By The River Piedra, I Sat Down and Wept.
Beige: Paano napunta 'to sayo?
Keith: Secret.
He can see that I'm already pissed at him so he said..
Keith: Ok fine. I was looking for a book about Julius Caesar when I heard someon
e said that I go aisle 5. So I followed the where the voice came from. When I go
t to the place where the voice came from, the Shakespearean section I think, I o
nly saw a notebook. No one seems to know who owns it so I kept it. I was browsin
g through the notebook when.
Beige: So you read the things written inside?
Keith: Pretty much everything. Would you like me to continue my story or not?
Beige: Ok continue.
Keith: Again, I was browsing through the notebook when I saw a writing.
Beige: It was in hieroglyphics.
Keith: Yes. I don't understand it so I went to Sir John for him to decipher it.
So he said it spells Beige Alonzo. Which is you.
Beige: Thank you I guess. I'm not mad but I don't know. No supposed to read this
notebook.
Keith: Sorry. Pero anong gagawin ko? Hindi ko alam kung kanino yang notebook na
yan.
Beige: Never mind.
Keith: To make you feel better. I like that notebook of yours. I like the poems.

He smiled. Man! That smile. Why do I freaking feel like melting when I see that
smile?
Then suddenly our other classmates came followed by Sir John.
Later that afternoon..
I decided to eat inside the library. I know it's not allowed to eat there but wh
ere would I eat? I don't like people looking at me 'cause I'm eating alone. So I
just eat here quietly so no one would notice I'm here.
Keith: Enjoying your lunch?
Why is this Keith guy suddenly pops out of nowhere wherever I go?
CHAPTER 4
Beige: You again?
I saw Keith approaching me. He sat beside me and took some of the banana chips I
was eating.
Keith: Yes it's me again.
Biege: Why do keep popping out of nowhere? Palagi mo na lang akong sinusundan.
Keith: Let's just say I want to spend time with you.
Beige: What? Spend time with me? What am I your girlfriend?
Keith: Sana.
Beige: Huh? What did you say?
Keith: I said I was just joking. I just want to know you better. I just think yo
u're an interesting person that's all.
Beige: Oh..
And then there was silence. I just continued eating my banana chips.
Keith: You know it's not allowed to eat here.
Beige: I know.
Keith: Then why are you eating here?
Beige: 'Cause I don't want people staring at me 'cause I'm eating alone.
Keith: Why? You don't have a friend?
Beige: You can say that.
Keith: Woah! I didn't know it's possible for someone to have no friends.
Beige: Sige. Idiin mo pa na wala akong niisang friend.
Keith: Ok sorry. Well, I can be your friend.
Beige: What are we in? Kindergarten?
Keith: Masyado ka namang high blood. I'm just saying I can be your friend. The o
ne who'll be always beside you. You can tell me your problems. I can be your sho
ulder to cry on. All that mushy friendship stuffs.
Then the bell suddenly rang. He stood up, held me by the wrist and pulled me gen
tly.
Keith: Halika na. It's already time. Sabay na tayo.
We arrived just in time for our next class.
"Please be seated everyone."
Ms. Sofia is the female counterpart of Sir John. She is the apple of the eye of
almost all guy students and teachers. She's a fresh grad and she teaches English
Literature. She's beauty and brains put together. Lucky for the guys out there
she's young and still single.
Ms. Sofia: Listen class. For your project for this quarter, you need to act a sc
ene from a book of your choice. We're giving you the freedom to choose your own
genre of book but please no horror or sci-fi. Anyways, you'll be working in pair
s. One girl, one guy. The scene/s should last for about 5 to 15 minutes. Your gr
ade for this would be 50% of your final grade so it's all or nothing. Bring prop
s and costumes to make your presentation more interesting. Okay, you may now cho
ose your partners. Oh before I forget, next meeting if you are already decided o
n what you are going to act out, please give me a piece of paper with the title
of the book you are going to act out written on it so that I could approve it. O
kay class?
"Yes Ms."
ARGH! i hate pair works. As you know I don't have friends so no one really wants
to be my partner so when we have group or pair works I usually talk to the teac
her to give me another project to work on by myself. Hope I can talk my way out
of this. I was about to approach Ms. Sofia when someone pulled my hand and said.
.
"Partner tayo."
You've guessed it. It's Keith.
After class..
I really don't know why I agreed to be his partner but it's a first. My first ti
me to do a pair work. Nice. I was walking out our classroom and to the library w
hen..
Keith: Wait Beige!
Beige: What now?
Keith: Let's decided on what book we'll gonna act out. Remember, it's 50% of our
final grade.
Beige: Since it's our free period, fine let's go.
We went inside the library and sat on the sofa in the second floor for a change.
We sat there as if we are just chilling and about to fall asleep. We leaned on
the sofa and closed our eyes.
Keith: What do you want?
Beige: I don't know yet. Any suggestions?
Keith: How about something by Shakespeare? Romeo and Juliet kaya?
Beige: Too gasgas. Kung may cellphone lang noon eh di sana buhay pa silang dalaw
a. I don't know what I want yet but I know what I don't want.. something by Shak
espeare.
Keith: Molire kaya?
Beige: Nah. It's like Shakespeare but only difference is that he's French.
I stood up and looked for possible books. Then a book suddenly popped in my mind
. It's a 1970 movie but the movie is based on a book. Of course, we'll based our
project on the book not only because it's required but the book is better as us
ual. Hehe. So I looked for the book and took it.
Beige: Are you a fast reader Keith?
Keith: Uhm. Yeah. A bit.
Beige: Here.
I gave Keith the book.
Beige: Read that. That would be our book for the project.
Keith: Love Story by Erich Segal? Isn't this a bit too cliched or chick flick-is
h?
Beige: Read it first. You'll realize it's the perfect book for the project. Read
.
While Keith was reading, I felt that I was getting sick so decided to sit in the
sofa and as usual sleep. After an hour Keith was waking me up.
Beige: So how was it?
Keith: Perfect! So Love Story it is.
CHAPTER 5
"Sitting, eating, walking, doing everything alone.That's my life."
I saw myself talking to a guy. We were at the rooftop of some building.
"No you're not."
"What makes you think I'm not alone?"
"You may not notice it but you're not alone. I'm always here beside you, just he
re for you."
Then the guy suddenly hugged me.
"Remember that."
Woah! What a weird dream. Too bad, I can't remember the person I'm talking to's
face. I woke up and suddenly realize that it was a Friday. I wasn't able to go t
o school.
Dad: Are you okay now Isabella? No more fever?
He placed his hand of my forehead and neck to feel if I still have a fever. Turn
s out I had a fever last night.
Beige: I'm okay Dad. Dad it's Beige. People call me Beige not Isabella.
Dad: Don't mind me. Nasanay na lang akong tawagin kang Isabella. Okay.Bangon na.
I cooked breakfast.
Beige: You cooked breakfast?
Dad: Yeah. Of course, once in a while I cook.
Beige: Dad!
Dad: Ok! I bought it. But I heard it's the best Tocilog ever.
Uhh.. I really love my Dad.
In the afternoon..
I was cooking for dinner when the doorbell rang. I know I'm still somewhat sick
but for me, nasanay na akong nagluluto for Dad.
Dad: I'll get it. Isabella! You have a visitor!
A visitor?
I went the see who it is and I was surprised 'cause it was Keith . Huh? Pati pa
ba naman sa bahay sinusundan niya ako? Stalker much?
Beige: Keith! What are you doing here?
My Dad looked at me as if he's teasing me but at the same time mad at me.
Beige: Dad! He's just my classmate.
Keith: Yes Sir. Keith Ramos.
He shook hands with my Dad.
Dad: Nice to meet you. Come in.
Keith: I just went here to give Beige the lessons that she missed and our HWs an
d projects. Nandyan na yung script for our english project. You can change it if
you want.
Beige: Ok. Thank you.
Keith: Sir. Mauna na po ako.
Dad: No.
Huh?
Dad: Stay for dinner. It's nice of you to bring my daughter her things so in exc
hange I'm inviting you to eat dinner in our house tonight.
Keith: No need Sir. It was nothing. Nakakahiya naman po sa inyo.
Dad: I insist. Wag ka nang mahiya. Beige, is the dinner enough for the three of
us?
Beige: I think so.
Dad: Dito ka na kumain Hijo.
Keith: Ah. Eh. Sige po.
I went to the kitchen to finish my cooking. What has gotten into my Dad's mind?
Him inviting Keith for dinner? I was cooking when Keith went inside the kitchen.
Keith: Isabella huh? Nice name. Hehe.
Beige: I hate when my Dad calls me by my first name. Masasanay din siguro ako.
Keith: So you're name is Isabella Beige Alonzo?
Beige: Yeah. Eh ikaw?
Keith: Keith Jonathan Ramos.
Beige: Naks. Teka. Palagi ka na lang sumusulpot kung nasaan ako. Pati sa bahay s
inusundan mo ako ha. Stalker much?
Keith: No. I'm not. As I said I was just giving you the HWs. Para hindi ka mahul
i sa lesson. I'm just doing you a favor.
Beige: Eh paano mo naman nalaman yung bahay ko?
Keith: Secret.
Beige: You went to the registry office ano?
Keith: Hehe. Oo.
Beige: Sabi na eh. Hay.. What has gotten into my Dad's mind to invite you to din
ner?
Keith: Narinig mo naman dibah? He said he wants to thank me for giving you your
HWs.
Beige: Too shallow. I think he's gonna interrogate since you're the only guy eve
n the only person from school to visit me here at home.
Keith: Really?
Beige: Maybe. Dad! Dinner's ready! Your favorite! Beef Rendang!
CHAPTER 6
Beige: Dad! Hatid ko lang si Keith sa labas.
He opened the door for me and went outside.
Keith: Salamat sa dinner.
Beige: No prob.
Keith: Sige. Need to go. Bye!
Beige: Bye! Ingat!
He was looking at me while he was walking kaya ayun naumpog sa pader.
Beige: Haha. I told you to be careful.
When I saw that Keith was already gone, I went inside still laughing about what
happened earlier.
Dad: I think he's a nice guy. Are you sure he's just you're friend?
Beige: Dad! I'm sure. Oh. Dad by the way, it's Dr. Lee's birthday tomorrow. Do y
ou want me to buy for you a present for him?
Dad: Yes. Yes. Naku! Makakalimutin na talaga ako. I forgot that it's his birthda
y tomorrow. Ok. I'll give you money tomorrow and buy something nice for him.
The next day...
I had that same dream. The dream that I had yesterday. Weird. Anyways, I woke up
, cooked for Dad, did some homework and got ready to go the mall. Since we have
uniforms in school I don't have problems when it comes to clothes. Actually, I'm
like Nancy Drew (in the 2007 film). I love anything that is vintage especially
clothes. Most of my clothes were from my Mom and some I got from thrift stores.
I don't care if people are staring at me when I go out.
I looked at myself in the mirror. I think my outfit is okay. Good to go. Hehe. I
got the money from my Dad and ask permission if I can go out to buy something a
nd he said yes. So, here I go. To the mall. HAHA.
While I was walking, I was singing softly..
You better take it from me, that boy is like a disease
Youre running, youre trying, youre trying to hide
And youre wondering why you cant get free
Pinagtitinginan na ako ng mga tao so I stopped singing. Sometimes I really act l
ike a weird person. Hehe. Anyways, I went to the bookstore to look for a book to
give to Dr. Lee. Dr. Lee loves books. So every year I give him a book. Why give
Dr. Lee a gift? 'Cause I owe my life to him. Enough of that. It's not time to d
iscuss that. So I went to the bookstore looked for the book and then when I saw
the book I wanted, I payed for it. I bought Like the Flowing Rivers by Paulo Coe
lho. Paulo Coelho has been Dr. Lee's favorite author. So good thing I saw the bo
ok. I also bought a book for myself, P.S. I Love Youby Cecelia Ahern.
I went window shopping for a while. Going from store to store. After a while, I
got a hungry so I went to the restaurant to eat. Soysal noh? Pero, I really don'
t think fast foods are healthy so I don't eat them as much as possible.
"Table for one?"
Beige: Yes.
I admit it feels a bit lonely eating alone. I sometimes envy people who has frie
nds and even boyfriends to eat with.
"Here's the menu Ma'am. What is your order?"
Beige: Thank you. One order of pasta puttanesca please and a slice ofstrawberry
cheesecake.
"How about drinks Ma'am?"
Beige: Just a glass of cold water.
"Is that all Ma'am?"
Beige: Yes. Thank you.
"Okay Ma'am. Just wait for your order."
After a while, my order arrived.
"Ma'am your order. Pasta puttanesca and strawberry cheesecake. Enjoy your meal."

Beige: Thank you.
I was eating when, I suddenly saw Keith coming inside the restaurant with the gi
rl. Pake ko ba kung sino yang kasama niya? But in fairness, she's pretty. I like
her style. Rocker Chic. Hehe. I just minded my own business.Ayaw ko namang mata
wag na usisera. We're still not that close.
Keith: Beige!
He waved at me.
Beige: Keith! Fancy meeting you here.
Keith: I was just taking my sister to lunch. You know bonding and stuff. By the
way, Angela this is my friend Beige. Beige, my sister Angela.
Angela: Hi! Nice to meet you. So you're Beige. Keith has been talking about you
nonstop. He's always 'Beige this. Beige that.' Glad to see face behind the name.

So sister pala niya. Hehe.
Beige: Hello! Nice to meet you too. Keith didn't mention he has a sister.
Angela: He rarely does.
Keith: Eating alone again?
Beige: Pretty much.
Keith: Is it okay if we join you?
Beige: Sure.
Nagkwentuhan lang kami buong maghapon.
Beige: Sorry but I need to go. May pupuntahan pa ako eh.
Keith: Samahan kita.
Beige: No need, stay with your sister. It's okay.
Angela: Okay lang ako. Keith, go with Beige. Keep her company ah.
Keith: Talaga? It's okay?
Angela: Of course. Sige mauna na ako. Bye. Nice meeting you Beige.
Together with Keith, I went to Dr. Lee's office.
Keith: A doctor's office?
Beige: I just want to visit Dr. Lee.
We went inside Dr. Lee's office.
Nurse Abby: Hi Beige! It's not your schedule ah why are you here?
Beige: Hi Nurse Abby! It's Dr. Lee's birthday remember?
Nurse Abby: Yes. Of course, Hehe.
Beige: Is Dr. Lee inside?
Nurse Abby: Yes. Sige pasok ka na. Emily is also there with him.
Beige: Dr. Lee still not asking you out?
Nurse Abby: Beige! Sush! You're the only one who know I like Dr. Lee. You know n
aman he still loves his wife.
Beige: Sometime ask him to go out for coffee. Besides Emily likes you very much.
Also, you can help Dr. Lee mend his broken heart.
Nurse Abby: Tama na nga yan. Go inside.
Beige: Fine. Fine.
I knocked on Dr. Lee's door.
Beige: I've been matching Nurse Abby and Dr. Lee since I last summer pero wala p
a ring nangyayari. Hehe.
I said to Keith.
Dr. Lee: Come in!
We went inside Dr. Lee's office.
Beige: Happy Birthday Dr. Lee!
"Ate Beige!"
Emily came rushing to me and hugged me very tight.
Beige: Long time no see Emily. So how's school?
Emily: Fine.
I went to Dr. Lee to give him his gift.
Beige: Sorry. I wasn't able to gift wrap it. It's from me and my Dad. I know how
you love Paulo Coelho.
Dr. Lee: Thank you. Wait. Who do we have here? Beige, you're not telling me some
thing.
Beige: Ikaw ah Dr. Lee. He's just my friend. My first friend, you can say. By th
e way, Dr. Lee, Emily this is Keith. Keith, this is our family Dr. Lee and his d
aughter Emily.
Dr. Lee: Nice to meet you.
Keith: Nice to meet you too.
Beige: It's like a tradition for me to give Dr. Lee a gift. Since I owe him a lo
t.
Dr. Lee: I was just doing my job Beige.
Beige: O, Emily say to hi Kuya Keith.
Emily: Hello Kuya Keith! Nice to meet you.
Keith: You're so cute.
Emily: Thank you.
Beige: Is Daddy still spending a lot of time with his work?
Emily: Hindi na ate. Nakakapanibago nga eh.
Beige: Nice for once Dr. Lee you followed my advice. Hehe. Anyways, still celebr
ating your birthday at Bella Towers Dr. Lee?
Dr. Lee: Pretty much since Carmella died.
Keith: Who's Carmella?
Keith whispered to me.
Beige: It's Dr. Lee's wife and Emily's mother.
I whispered back.
Beige: Dr. Lee. Happy Birthday again. We need to go na.
Dr. Lee: Thank you again for the gift. See you next month.
Beige: See you next month!
We went outside and rode a taxi together.
Keith: Next month?
Beige: I just have this monthly check-up with Dr. Lee.
Keith: Why? Are you sick?
Beige: I was.
Keith: What did you have? I hope it's nothing serious.
I hoped it too before but I realize it wasn't. I can't tell the truth to Keith s
o even though I didn't like it, I lied.
Beige: It was just a back problem. Nothing serious. Well, this is my stop. I nee
d to go. Thanks for accompanying me. O, eto bayad para sa taxi.
I handed Keith the money but he gave it back.
Keith: No need. It's on me.
Beige: Sige na. Take it.
Keith: Wag na.
Beige: Ok. Ikaw bahala. Thanks again. Bye! See you on Monday.
CHAPTER 7
Keith: Good morning!
Beige: Ano naman good sa morning? I'm too lazy to go to school. I'm so sleepy.
It was a monday morning. UGH! i hate mondays.
Keith: Ikaw naman parang naggogood morning lang. Oh, by the way Ms. Sofia alread
y approved our project, the one for english.
Beige: Ah ok. I'm already done editing the script and it's good. In fairness, yo
u're good. O, eto. In the mean time keep it.
I handed him our script.
Beige: I need to go. See you later.
Keith: Uhm. Beige?
Beige: Ano yun Keith? Do you need something?
Keith: I.. I.. I..
Beige: What? Say it.
Keith: I.. I.. I, rather my sister is inviting you to dinner join us for dinner
in our house. I really don't know why but she just said to invite you.
Beige: Ate Angela? Sure. No problem. Sige. I really need to go.
During lunch time..
As usual after I ate inside the library, I decided to sleep. I was half-awake ha
lf asleep when I felt someone caressed my cheek and kissed it but when I opened
my eyes there's no one there. Naku! May multo yata dito. It's either a ghost or
it was just a dream. While thinking about the weird thing that happened, I saw K
eith going to my direction.
Beige: Kanina ka pa diyan?
Keith: Uhm. No. Kakadaan ko lang.
Beige: You didn't see anybody pass by here?
Keith: Why is there something wrong?
Beige: No. It's nothing. Maybe it was just a dream.
Keith: Have you eaten?
Beige: Yup. You?
Keith: Yeah. Uhm. Can I sit beside you?
Beige: Sure.
Then there was silence. Ayaw kong masyadong tahimik that's why I said..
Beige: Do you know the similarities between life and love?
Keith: What?
Beige: 4 things. Both are complicated, both are hard, both are unfair and both s
ucks.
Keith: Ikaw naman. It's also both full of beauty and joy. Masyado kang negative.
Beige: I'm not being nega. I just wonder why people even fall in love? If time w
ill come na magsasawa sila sa isa't isa. They'll end up breaking up or separatin
g. Or di kaya naman the other person will die and leave the one he/she loves. Eh
di parang balewala lang yung love nila. What's the use?
Keith: The way that you're talking it is as if someone already broke your heart.
Beige: Me? No. Honestly, I have never fallen in love. No relationships of some s
ort. Crushes yes but that's it.
Keith: Never have fallen in love you say? Then why did you say it's complicated,
hard, unfair and it sucks if you haven't fallen in love?
Beige: Let's just say based on my Dad and Mom's experience and the people around
.
Keith: It maybe is painful sometimes but it's a wonderful and magical experienc
e. Hindi mo lang alam kung ganoong kasarap magmahal Beige.
Beige: Why? Have you ever fallen in love?
Keith: Well yes. Once.
Beige: Is she beautiful?
Keith: Yes.
Beige: Are you still together?
Keith: No.
Beige: Can I ask why? I mean if you don't want to talk about it, it's okay.
Keith: She died.
Beige: I'm so sorry.
Keith: Her name is Venus. She died a few months ago because of brain cancer. We'
re together for 2 years. She's the main reason why I went back here in the Phili
ppines. She said I need to find a girl she calls Princess Ann. It was what she c
alls her friend in the hospital where she stayed. It's not her real name so it's
hard to find her. I haven't also met her so I really don't know how on earth I
will find her. She only said that she lives in Manila and goes to school here.
Beige: Princess Ann? Why is she finding that girl?
Keith: She said that Princess Ann was her inspiration besides me. She gave her s
trength to fight cancer because of her. She also told me how this girl had stren
gth to fight despite her colon cancer and because of that strength and faith she
was cured. Venus even gave her, her lucky vintage ring. She really wanted me to
find her in a way for me to move on after her death. She said this girl would h
elp me face life again. That was Venus' last wish, to find that girl. So I decid
ed to go back here. Nagkataon namang magaaral dito sister ko. Kaya my parents al
lowed me to go back here. But I can't seem to find her.
Then suddenly I had a flashback.
"Hello Princess Ann!"
"Princess Ann? I'm not Princess Ann."
"I know. I just want to call you that. 'Cause one, I heard you like Audrey Hepbu
rn. Isn't her name Princess Ann in Roman Holiday? And two you are very much like
Princess Ann. Hehe. By the way, I'm Venus."
"Hello."
"Still feeling weak 'cause of the chemo?"
"Yes. A bit."
"Here. Take this."
"A ring?"
"It's a lucky ring. My lucky ring. It helped me go through all my chemos."
"I can't accept it."
"Please accept it. It's my gift to you."

Keith: Beige? Hello?
Beige: Sorry. I just remembered something. You really love her do you?
Keith: Very much but I found a new love. I still love Venus but I found this gir
l that makes me want to live life again. She made me smile and laugh that only V
enus can do.
Beige: Oh.
Then suddenly the bell rang.
Beige: Sorry. Let's just continue our talk later. I need to go.
Keith: Uhm. Ok. Bye.
After school, I asked my Dad permission to go to Keith's house and he said I can
go so we're off to Keith house. After a few minutes, we arrive at Keith'shouse.
WOAH! It's so nice and so classic looking. I want to live here. HAHA.
Keith: Let's go.
Keith rang the doorbell.
Angela: Beige! Nice for you to visit our humble home. Come in.
CHAPTER 8
Angela: Sit down Beige. Dinner would be served in a while.
Beige: Thank you.
Angela: So Beige, tell me about your parents.
Beige: My Mom died when I was still a kid so pretty much it's only me and my Dad
who lives in our house.
Angela: I'm so sorry.
Beige: It's okay.
Angela: Don't take this wrong way, but have you been to the US?
Beige: No. It's okay. Yes, i have been there. I lived in Forks, Washington for a
bout 2 years.
Angela: What a coincidence! Venus stayed there for a while too. Right Keith? Oh.
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned her name.
Keith: No it's okay. She knows about Venus. I stayed there with her until you kn
ow. But my we're really from San Francisco. She just needed to be in this rehab
kind of hospital for cancer patients in Forks so I moved.
Our dinner arrived.
Angela: Let's eat.
After dinner..
Keith: It's raining.
Beige: Oo nga. Sige mauna na ako. Baka lumakas pa yung ulan.
Keith: Hatid na kita.
Beige: No. It's okay. I have an umbrella. I can manage.
Keith: No. I insist.
Beige: Ok.
Keith: Wait for me I'll just get my jacket. If you want you can come with me to
my room. It's okay. I won't do anything to you.
So I followed him and went inside his room. Well, surprisingly it's clean. Hehe.

Keith: Sandali lang ah.
While waiting I decided to browse through his room. I saw a picture of a girl.Ve
nus. Bakit ba hindi mo masabi na ikaw si Princess Ann ha? Ang laki ng problema m
o Beige.
Keith: That's Venus.
Beige: Huh? Ah yeah. You are right. She is beautiful.
Keith: Let's go?
Beige: Ok.
We rode the jeepney and after that walked to my house.
Beige: Keith?
Keith: Ano yun?
Beige: What will you do if you find Princess Ann? The one you're looking for?
Keith: I really don't know because before I really needed to find Princess Ann.
You know for me to move on with life. Umasa talaga ako na matutulungan niya ako.
But I don't know maybe it's just not destined for me to find her. Now, it is as
if I no longer need to find Princess Ann. Kasi I found someone who filled her s
hoes.
He suddenly stared at me.
Beige: Uhm. Keith, nandito na tayo sa may amin.
Keith: Ah. Ok. Sorry.
Beige: Thanks for the dinner.
Keith: It's okay.
Beige: Sige. I'll go inside. Good night.
Keith: Good night.
The weeks past with Keith and I practicing for our English Literature project. N
ow, we're performing it in front of our class in the Thespis Theater. A few cost
ume changes and we're good to go. There are people who are in charge of the prop
s, lights and curtains so that's not our problem. Beige, breath in, breath out.
Go!
Keith: Are you ready?
Beige: Yes.
Keith: We can do this! Hehe.
Keith was the first one to enter the stage.
"What can I say about a twenty-five year old girl who died? That she was beautif
ul. And brilliant. That she loved Mozart and Bach. And the Beatles. And me."
Then the curtain closed. The curtains opened again for our first scene together.
Thanks to the props committee of the school this second scene look liked we wer
e in the library.
"Do you have The Waning of the Middle Ages?"
"Do you have your own library?"
"Listen, Harvard is allowed to use the Radcliffe Library."
"I'm no talking legality Preppie. I'm talking ethics. You guys have 5 million bo
oks. We have a few lousy thousand."
"Listen, I need that book."
"Wouldja please watch your profanity Preppie."
"What makes you sure I went to prep school?"
"You look and rich."
"You're wrong. I'm actually smart and poor."
"Oh no Preppie. I'm smart and poor."
"What the hell makes you smart?"
"I wouldn't go for coffee with you."
"Listen, I wouldn't ask you."
"That, is what makes you "
The we acted some scenes where we went for coffee and went to some dates. Well,
this is weird. But what can I do? It's our grade that's on line here.
"Hey, Oliver; did I tell you that I love you?"
This is the scene where we are in the park talking. We altered it a bit because
the real scene can't be acted out for everyone to see.
"No Jen."
"Why didn't you ask me?"
"I was afraid to frankly."
"Ask me now."
"Do you love me Jenny?"
"What do you think?"
"Yes. I guess maybe.
"Oliver?"
"Yes?"
"I don't just love you. I love you very much, Oliver."
We acted like we were about to kiss and then the curtain closed. Keith would hav
e his short monologue again. We added somethings here to shorten it up.
"We eventually got married. Had our fights. I learned Love means never having to
say you're sorry. Suddenly, one day, when we went to the doctor. She was diagno
sed with Leukemia."
Then the last scene. The hospital slash death bed scene.
"Listen Oliver. Oliver, you've got to stop being sick."
"Me?"
"That guilt look on your face, Oliver it's sick. It's nobody's fault, you Preppi
e. Would you please stop blaming yourself? Listen, that's the only thing, I'm as
king Ollie, otherwise, I know you'll be okay. Get the hell out of here. I don't
want you at my deathbed. Could you do me a favor?
Keith nods.
"Would you please hold me very tight? No Oliver, really hold me. Next to me. "
Keith held me as if we're really in love and I was dying. He's good!
"Thanks, Ollie."
The curtain closes. When it opened I saw all of our classmates clapping and even
some are crying. It only means we did great. After going back to our uniforms,
Ms. Sofia congratulated us. She said that ours was the best. Naks!Hehe.
After class..
Keith: Let's go.
He pulled my hand.
Keith: We did great in the project and they liked it. So we'll celebrate. Meet m
e here later.
He gave me card with an address.
I went home changed my clothes and ask Dad for permission. He said yes.Wag lang
daw lalampas ng 11. So I'm good to go. I went to the address Keith gave me. It's
a bar pala. I went inside to look for Keith. I was looking for him when someone
tapped me at the back.
Keith: Beige!
Beige: Keith! Why are we here?
Keith: Dibah sabi ko sayo we'll celebrate Halika. I'll introduce you to my frien
ds.
We went to a table.
Keith: Guys! Friend ko pala si Beige. Beige, this is Aicca, Erin, Gerard and Bri
an. Sa states pa lang friends ko na sila. Nagkataong dito na rin sila nagaaral n
gayon kaya paminsan minsan nagmemeet kami.
Aicca: Hi Beige! Nice to meet you.
Brian: Sit down.
I sat down right next to Keith and on my left was an empty chair.
Beige: Thanks. What's going on tonight?
Gerard: It's an open mic day today.
Erin: Just watch. They're a lot of great bands and singers tonight. We also have
a friend his name is Michael, he's performing tonight.
Beige: Ah ok.
Keith: Want something to drink?
Beige: Just plain iced tea.
Aicca: You don't drink?
Beige: No sorry.
This is really awkward. I just spend my time watching the performance. Suddenly,
a guy came out. His voice is amazing. His voice is the best I've heard so far.
I'm not asking I'm not on my knees
But I'm not quite the knight I used to be
And I know I'd be better off
Without you believin' in always picking up and thinking 'bout leaving
Once you stick around then that's when I'll show you happiness the world can see
That's how love should be
Ang ganda talaga ng boses. After singing, everyone clapped and the guy went to o
ur table.
Keith: Beige, eto pala yung friend kong si Michael. Michael, this is Beige.
Michael: Hello!
Beige: I don't want to sound all groupie-ish but you're voice, it's so beautiful
.
Michael: Thank you. It's okay. I get it all the time. Hehe.
He sat down beside me.
Erin: Beige, do you sing?
Beige: Yes but not that much.
Brian: Sing naman for us. It's okay. It's free naman eh. Hehe.
Michael: Yeah. Sige na Beige.
Beige: Okay. Pero walang sisihan na pinakanta ninyo ako ah. Hehe.
I went up on the stage and told the band on what song I would sing. Good thing t
hey know the song.
I follow the signs so clearly,
and still I've fallen
the quicksand's pulling me down.
I follow the signs so clearly,
and still they catch me
the quicksand's pulling me down.
Look at my life, look at my face, can't you see my heart bleeding down my sleeve
,
you're holding my hand and holding my heart but I just want to feel your breath
inside me so I can breath.
Somewhere in the distance I catch a spark of grace I hope it's something that ma
kes me feel like I'm alive.
CHAPTER 9
Everyone clapped after I sang.
Michael: Wow! You're good.
Beige: Thank you I guess.
Michael: Quicksand by Everly right?
Beige: Cool. You know the song? Only few people know that song.
After that Michael and I kept talking and talking about our similarities when it
comes to music. How we both loved Death Cab for Cutie, Jessie Ruben, Jack's Man
nequin and many more. It is as if I found a familiar face in Michael. I felt I b
elong and no longer awkward.
Meanwhile..
Aicca: She's just like Venus. It is as if her spirit went inside her body.
Keith: Beige?
Aicca: Why you haven't notice? Like Venus, she's good in singing. She also doesn
't drink. She's also a bit shy at first but in when she gets comfortable she's s
o talkative. I really see Venus in her.
Keith: Come to think of it. Yeah. She's like Venus but I don't like her because
of that.
Aicca: I am right. You like her. And right now you want to so jealous of Michael
because Beige is spending time with him not you. Seloso ka talaga Keith.
Keith: I'm not.
Aicca: Keith naman. We've been friends for about 10 years even earlier than any
of our barkadas. Ewan ko nga ba eh tagal na nating magkakilala hindi mo pa rin a
ko nililigawan. Just joking. You know naman if you court me I'll turn you down r
ight away. But seriously, I know you Keith maybe even more than yourself. So if
you like her, tell her. Don't make Venus the reason for not showing how you real
ly feel about her. I'm not saying you do but you know what I mean.
Brian: Let's go Aicca. I still have an exam tomorrow.
Aicca: There goes my ride. Need to go Keith. Remember what I said.
I was talking to Michael when Keith approached us.
Keith: Excuse me lang but we need to go Beige. It's already nearing 11 pm and yo
ur Dad would kill me if you get home after 11.
Beige: It's nearing 11 already. Tignan mo nga naman. Time flies by so fast. Mich
ael, I need to go. Thanks ah. See you soon.
Michael: No prob.
Beige: Let's go Keith.
We rode the taxi going home.
Beige: Thanks for bring me and introducing me to your friends. I really like the
m. At first I admit it was awkward but they are so nice so I just relaxed and ha
d fun with them especially Michael. He's so cool. We have a lot in common.
Keith: Eh bakit sa akin ka sumama kung si Michael ang gusto mo?
Beige: Hehe. Tampo ka naman. I just like him kasi we have things in common. It's
not like I want him to be my boyfriend. Selos ka noh? 'Cause I wasn't able to s
pend much time with you. Para ka namang boyfriend ko. Just joking. Sorry. It's j
ust it's the first time I met someone who I have a lot of things in common. You
know it's my first time to have friends. So are we okay?
He nodded.
Beige: Dito na lang po. Keith, thanks ah. I had fun. Here's my share for the tax
i fare. Take it. I'll get mad if you don't.
I hugged him, went outside the taxi and closed the door.
Beige: One more thing.
He rolled down the window.
Beige: That is for being a great friend and my first ever true friend in that ca
se. Don't ever change. Bye!
I waved him goodbye and went inside.
The next day..
Beige: Good morning Dad!
Dad: Good morning!
Beige: Isn't Ate Jamie and Kuya Key's play opening tomorrow?
Dad: Yeah right. I forgot. She even gave me two tickets for us to watch it.
Beige: Can we watch tomorrow Dad?
Dad: I can't. I still have work tomorrow. Why not ask Keith to go with you?
Beige: Dad! Nakakahiya kaya.
Dad: Then I'll ask him. I remember he left his number here somewhere.
Beige: Dad!
I tried to stop Dad him but I can't he was able to call Keith.
Dad: You can? Good. It's a semi-formal occasion so wear something decent. Fetch
her at about 7. Okay? Bye.
Beige: Dad naman. Why do you need to ask Keith yourself? I can go alone or ask h
im myself.
Dad: What's done is done. He's fetching you at 7 pm okay?
What's this? A date? My Dad is pushing me towards Keith. Weird!
The next day..
I put on my green dress and my vintage heels on. I also fixed my hair and wore a
headband. Put some powder and lip gloss. I'm good to go! I went down and saw Ke
ith was there waiting for me. In fairness, he looks cute in his tux.
Keith: Wow! You look..
Beige: What?
Keith: Beautiful.
Beige: Haha. Thanks.
Keith: It's the first time I saw you look all dressed up.
Beige: Is that a compliment?
Dad: Wow. You look just like your Mom. That's the exact same outfit she wore in
our first date.
Beige: Dad!
Dad: Sorry. Sorry. Keith, take care of Beige. Curfew is only until 11 okay?
Keith: Yes Sir. Let's go Beige?
Beige: Ok. Oh, before I forgot there's food in the ref just heat it in the micro
wave. Okay?
Dad: Okay. Have fun!
We're off to watch the play. The play that we are going to watch is the play ver
sion of the 2000 movie Center Stage. It's a ballet and drama play rolled into on
e like in the movie. Ate Jamie plays Jody Sawyer and Kuya Key plays Charlie Sims
. We went inside the theater and watched the play. Kuya Key and Ate Jamie are re
ally good in dancing and in acting.
Keith: Nilalamig ka ba?
Beige: Medyo.
Keith took of his blazer and put it on me.
Beige: Thanks.
I smiled.
Keith: I like it when you smile.
Then play ended and then we went to the backstage.
Keith: Are you sure we're allowed here?
Beige: Of course, I'm sure. Just follow me.
Suddenly Kuya Key saw us.
Key: Beige! Jamie, si Beige oh.
Jamie: Beige! I'm glad you made it. Where's Tito?
Beige: He's busy eh. He wasn't able to make it. Congrats! You two were great.
Key: Thanks. Teka. Teka. Who do we have here?
Beige: Sorry. Ate Jamie, Kuya Key this is my friend Keith. Keith, my cousin Kuya
Key and his girlfriend Ate Jamie.
Keith: Hello! Nice to meet you.
Jamie: Are you done fixing your things Key?
Key: Yup I'm done. Let's go!
We went inside Kuya Keys car and we're off to La Belle Vie.
Keith: Where are we going?
Beige: La Belle Vie. A french restaurant. We always go there after Kuya Keys and
Ate Jamie's performance or plays. It's like tradition for us, Kuya Keys, Ate Ja
mie, Dad and I.
After awhile we arrived at La Belle Vie.
Jamie: Order the usual Key. Beige and I would just go to the ladies room.
Key: Ok. Just don't take too long.
Meanwhile..
Key: Matagal mo na bang kilala si Beige?
Keith: Hindi naman masyado. Mga 2 months pa lang. Don't take it the wrong way bu
t Beige and I, we're not together. We're just friends. I like her but.. Sorry I
shouldn't have said that.
Key: It's okay. I don't know if Beige already told you this but she has been lik
e a little sister to me ever since we are little. I just want to protect her. I'
m just happy that she found someone like you. She's no longer alone. I know I'm
not in the right place to tell you this but Beige had gone through a lot since s
he was little. She lost her mother since she was 5. She even had colon cancer tw
o years ago. She looks strong in the outside but inside she's fragile as a vase.
You take care of her for me Keith 'cause if you don't I'll really hunt you down
and burn you alive in front of her.
Ate Jamie kept teasing me about Keith. I said Keith's just my friend but she doe
sn't believe me. We went back to our table.
Jamie: What with the serious faces?
Key: Nothing. Don't mind us. Keith and I are just talking about something. Our o
rder just arrived let's eat.
After eating, the rain pouring down so hard that Kuya Key and Ate Jamie needed t
o drop us off in front of our house even though it's not on their way.
Beige: Bye! Thank you! Ingat ah!
After they were gone..
Beige: Pasok ka muna. Ang lakas pa ng ulan eh. Patilain mo muna.
Keith: No. It's okay. I can manage. I'll just ride a taxi or something.
Beige: I insist. Ate Angela would get mad at me if you get sick. Come in.
We went inside.
Beige: Diyan ka muna. I'll just get some water.
I was getting some water when lightning strike then suddenly there was no electr
icity. I got the flashlight under the sink and looked for candles.
Beige: Keith?
CHAPTER 10
Beige: Wait. I'm just getting some candles.
I got candles and lit them. I took it with me and went to the sala. I placed 2 c
andles. One in the side table and one in the coffee table. I also put two glasse
s of water on the coffee table.
Beige: You okay?
Keith: Yup.
Then there was silence. We were just sitting and starring into space. I put my k
nees close to me and hugged them. Out of nowhere I sang a song. Just to break th
e silence I guess.
I know a place in Carolina. It's open year round but only after dark so bring yo
ur gal and bring your wine. Unwind from your day. Gee, don't you know that you'r
e in for a show. When you go down to Karen's Cafe.
Suddenly, he just laughed.
Beige: Why? What's so funny?
Keith: Nothing.
Beige: You said nothing yet you're still laughing. Nakakapanis ka naman kasi ng
laway eh. I rather be alone than be with someone who doesn't speak at all.
Keith: Fine. Fine. I'll speak. Can I ask you something?
Beige: Ask away.
Keith: You said you stayed in a while Forks right?
Beige: Yes.
He faced me and looked straight into my eyes.
Keith: In any way did you stay in East Cromwell hospital?
I wasn't able to answer.
Keith: You're Princess Ann. Right? You said you lived in Forks for a while. Key
said to me that you have had colon cancer and judging from your reaction that wa
s a yes. Why Beige? Why didn't you tell me you were Princess Ann? You know I'm s
earching for you a long time already. I'm not mad. Don't take me wrong. I'm just
asking why? Why didn't you tell me?
Beige: Honestly Keith, even myself, I don't know why I didn't tell you. Yes. I a
m Princess Ann and yeah, I met Venus in East Cromwell. We were neighbors actuall
y. Venus had been good to me; I would admit that but I don't know, I just didn't
give her much attention to her than I should have. Ang sama ko nga eh. She show
ed me kindness. She even gave me her lucky vintage ring. I just don't get it why
she's making you find me. What's so special about me? But what I can say is Kei
th, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I regret not giving her attention. For Pete's s
ake, I'm too is dying that time. I'm just sad that she died and I lived. I shoul
d have died not her.
Keith: Don't say that.
Beige: You know Keith, my mom died when I was 5. I just remember how she reads t
o me stories and that's it. At some point, I even blamed God for giving her canc
er and taking her. Then 2 years ago, I suffered the same thing that caused my mo
m to die. Cancer, I had cancer; colon cancer to be exact. At first, I didn't wan
t to believe. A teenager having cancer? I still have so much to do. I still have
dreams to fulfill. That was the lowest point in my life. I didn't want to fight
cancer anymore. I just wanted to die but Dr. Lee helped me. He said how I shoul
d fight, fight for my life and my Dad. So I did and I got well. When I came back
here it was sure as hell. No one talking to you in school. Everyday just eating
alone. Eventually, I got used to it. And now, I'm talking to you, my only frien
d. I really don't know what you'll think of me after this. I just think I should
say these things to you.
Suddenly, he hugged me tight. I realized I was crying.
Keith: It's okay. Don't cry. I understand you. I'm just glad Venus was right. Pr
incess Ann will make me live life again. But why Princess Ann?
He whipped my tears. I suddenly laughed.
Keith: I'm not kidding why Princess Ann?
Beige: Ganito kasi yun. Venus heard I like Audrey Hepburn and Audrey Hepburn's n
ame in Roman Holiday is Princess Ann. She also said that Princess Ann and I are
very much alike.
Keith: Audrey Hepburn? Roman Holiday?
Beige: You don't know her? You haven't watch the movie Roman Holiday?
Keith: No.
Beige: Ewan ko sayo. Watch it. Next time. Hehe.
I suddenly heard footsteps.
Dad: I'm home!
When Dad open the door, the electricity went back.
Beige: Dad! Good thing you're already home. Nawalan lang ng ilaw sandali.Wait. I
'll just get you some dry clothes.
I got some of Dad's clothes and went down.
Beige: Nagpatila lang ng ulan si Keith, Dad.
Dad: Ah ok. Keith, Beige, have you two eaten?
Beige: Yes Dad.
Keith: Sir, Beige, the rain has stopped so I need to go now. Thank you.
Beige: Thank you too. See you on Monday! Ingat!
After the weekend..
I was fixing my things in the locker when I saw Keith was walking with a girl. I
just pretended I didn't see them.
Keith: Hello!
Keith tapped me in the back.
Beige: Hi!
Keith: The girl, that was Fae. She's just my partner in Chem.
Beige: Don't worry. I would not taking that as you cheating on me. Joke! I'm not
you're girlfriend Keith. No need to explain to me. If you want to be friends wi
th someone else it's okay. If you want to court someone it's also okay. I'm not
some clingy jealous girlfriend. I'm just your friend.
I walked away from Keith.
Keith: Beige! Wait!
Beige: Why?
Keith: Uhm. Do you want to have lunch with me later?
Beige: Sorry. I'm going somewhere.
Keith: Ah ok.
I went to my first class. After my before lunch class, I went straight to Dr. Le
e's office.
Beige: Dr. Lee!
I saw that he's talking to someone.
Beige: Sorry. I'll just wait outside.
Dr. Lee: It's okay. We're about to finish. Come in. By the way Beige, meet Carme
lla's younger brother Ian. Ian, this is Beige.
Ian: Hi Beige!
He extended my hand.
Beige: Hello! Nice to meet you. I didn't know Carmella has a younger brother. He
he.
He kept shaking it.
Beige: Uhm. Ian?
Ian: Yes?
Beige: My hand.
Ian: Oh. Sorry. Hehe.
He let go of my hand.
Dr. Lee: He's from Japan. Actually, he will be going to your school starting tom
orrow. He's staying here for good.
Beige: Oh I see.
Ian: Mauna na ako. See you later Doc. Nice to meet you again Beige.
Beige: Bye!
Ian went out of the room.
Beige: He calls you Doc? Not by your first name?
Dr. Lee: Yup.
Beige: Sabagay ang pangit nga naman ng pangalan mo. Emerciano. Cian for short. H
AHA.
Dr. Lee: Sige. Mangasar pa. Don't forget I'm still older that you.
Beige: Fine.
Dr. Lee: Ok. Let's get to work. It's check up time.
I had gone through lots of test. What's weird is that it's a lot compared to the
last time. I don't know why.
Beige: Is there something wrong with my tests Dr. Lee?
I see Dr. Lee's face suddenly changed he'd gone from happy to worried.
Dr. Lee: Do you feel something different about your body? Do you always feel diz
zy or nauseous?
Beige: Dizzy sometimes but nauseous? No. Why Dr. Lee?
Dr. Lee: I'm not sure how to say this Biege.
Beige: What is it Dr. Lee?
Dr. Lee: Sorry Beige but I believe.. you have brain cancer. I know this is no jo
ke and it's hard to take it but you need to be strong. We still need to need to
do some test to make sure. But with what I am seeing with these test results, I
believe it's metastatic brain cancer. Which means that the cancer came from anot
her part of the body and traveled to your brain. In your case, your colon. Come
back tomorrow with your Dad and we'll discuss this further. I'm so sorry Beige.
CHAPTER 11
When I heard that, I felt that the whole world fell on me. I don't want to take
this road again. I hate chemos. I hate taking medicines. I hate the hospital sme
ll. I hate everything that has something to do with cancer. Am I that bad of a p
erson that I need to take this road again? I feel so vulnerable. I feel that I'm
gonna die right now.
I don't know how I got back here in school. I just found myself walking through
the corridors. All I know is it's still lunch time. Period. I suddenly felt tear
s coming down my face as I walk through the corridors. Then I saw Keith. I turne
d around but he saw me. He can't see me this way. So I wiped my tears and faked
a smile.
Keith: Beige!
Beige: Hello.
Keith: Wait. Did you cry? Are you okay? Is there something wrong?
Beige: No. It's okay. Something just went in my eye. I'm okay na. Keith, I need
to go.
Keith: Can I go with you?
Beige: Is it your free period next?
He nodded.
Beige: Okay. Let's go.
I went to a place in school where I go if I really want to be alone.
Keith: I didn't know that there's a rooftop here.
Beige: Few people know these place.
We sat in the corner near the edge, over looking the whole school.
Beige: Sitting, eating, walking, doing everything alone.That's my life. It has b
een my life for a while now.
Keith: No you're not.
Beige: What makes you think I'm not alone?
Keith: You may not notice it but you're not alone. I'm always here beside you, j
ust here for you.
He suddenly hugged me.
Keith: Remember that.
He hugged me tighter.
Beige: Keith?
Keith: Yes?
Beige: What will you do if I die?
He suddenly let go of me. He wasn't able to answer.
Beige: It's okay. You don't need to answer that.
I placed my head on his shoulder and looked at the sky.
Beige: Morrie Schwartz said that: Everything that gets born dies. But why are pe
ople afraid to die? Is it because they are afraid they lose the one they love? O
r is it because there are things left for them to accomplish?
Keith: Ang drama mo ah. What's with talking about death all of sudden?
Beige: Nothing.
I lied. When I got home, I didn't know what to do. Will I tell Dad or not? I don
't know how to tell this to my Dad 'cause he'd been through too much. Beige, you
can do this.
I took a deep breath.
Beige: Dad?
Dad: Yes? Is there something wrong?
Beige: Dad, I really don't know how to say this but.. I believe I have cancer.
CHAPTER 12
And I won't give up like this
I will be given strength
Now that I've found it
Nothing can take that away
So many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight
But I'm just surviving
And I maybe weak but I'm never defeated
I saw myself getting my mom's old guitar and singing inside my room. The scene a
while ago flash backed in my head. After hearing about my illness, Dad just wen
t outside the house without saying a word. Sometimes I ask God why people have i
llnesses? Can He just take one's life and just don't let that person suffer?
Dad: Isabella..
Beige: Dad?
I saw that his eyes were red as if he cried. My Dad gets a little emotional when
it comes to his family.
Beige: Don't cry Dad. We'll get through this. Naniniwala akong gagaling pa ako.
It will just be like before. It will be okay.
The next morning, my Dad and I went to Dr. Lee before going to school. Dr. Lee t
hen again performed a lot of tests to confirm if I really have cancer. But then,
the tests agrees on one thing. I do have cancer.
Dr. Lee: Mr. Alonzo, I hate to say this to you but based on all the test we exec
uted on Beige, it is confirmed. She has metastatic brain cancer. Which means tha
t the cancer came from another part of the body and traveled to her brain. In he
r case, her colon. She still doesn't feel the symptoms but later on as her condi
tion worsens, she'll grow weak, feel nauseous and later on vomit often. Usually,
a grade I tumor can be surgically removed but because the part where the tumor
is growing, is highly sensitive, we can't operate the tumor. The only treatments
we can do are the ones we did before, like chemotherapy and the less severe, ra
diation therapy.
Beige: Dr. Lee, tell me. How long will I still live?
Dr. Lee: If you're lucky and respond well to the treatments, 5 years. But the po
ssibility of living longer is about 10 to 32%. Sorry Beige, Mr. Alonzo. I promis
e to do everything to cure your daughter. But brain cancer is different from col
on cancer.
Beige: We understand Dr. Lee. Once again, nakasalalay po sa inyo ang buhay ko. I
trust you Dr. Lee. Kayo na po ang bahala sa akin. Just one request.
Dr. Lee: What is it?
Beige: Promise me Dr. Lee that this time, you'll not tell anyone about this. Onl
y me, you, Dad and Nurse Abby would know about my condition.
Dad: But Isabella..
Beige: You heard Dr. Lee, Dad this time it's different. I may be cured or I may
die. I want to live life to the fullest from now on. Living without people pityi
ng me. Dr. Lee?
Dr. Lee: I promise, Beige.
From now on, I will live life to the fullest. I will face everything even death
with courage.
When I arrived in school, I immediately saw Ian, the brother of Dr. Lee's wife.
Ian: Hello!
Beige: Ian right?
Ian: Yeah. You remember.
Beige: Let's just say, I happened to be very good in remembering names. Hehe. So
how's your first day so far?
Ian: So far so good. You know that teacher, Ms. Sofia, she's so pretty.
Beige: Ikaw ah. Bawal yan. Hehe.
He blushed.
Beige: I was just teasing you. But she is pretty. Hehe. Pero marami kang kaagaw.
Almost of the male students and even the teachers likes Ms. Sofia.
Ian: Maliit pala ang chance ko. Hehe.
I was talking to Ian when somebody tapped my back.
Beige: O, Keith.
Keith: Kanina pa kita hinahanap.
Beige: I just went to Dr. Lee for a check up. Oh, sorry. Ian, Keith. Keith, Ian.
Ian is a new student here from Japan. He's studying here from now on.
Ian: Hello! Nice to meet you.
Keith: Hi.
Ian: Beige, I need to go. See you around. Nice to meet you again Keith.
Beige: See you around.
Ian left.
Keith: Who was that?
Beige: Just a friend. He's Carmella's brother.
Keith: Carmella?
Beige: Dr. Lee's wife.
Keith: Oh.
Beige: Why? Are you jealous? Joke. I know you're not. Hehe. Oh, Keith. Sorry pal
a kahapon. I was just a little dramatic.
Keith: It's okay.
Beige: Pagbibigyan na kita. We can hangout today. But it has to be in my house.
We can watch a movie or something. Is it okay?
Keith: Sure.
After school, we went straight to my house.
Beige: I'll just get some drinks and popcorn. The entertainment room is the last
door to the right.
I got some popcorn and drinks and went straight to the entertainment room. I saw
Keith scanning through my DVD collection.
Keith: Sky of Love, Love Story, A Millionaire's First Love, A Walk To Remember,
Closer to Heaven, More Than Blue, Moulin Rouge, Now and Forever, Romance of Thei
r Own, The Bucketlist.. Wow! Ang dami.
Beige: I just like watching movies during my free time.
Keith: Napansin ko almost all of the movies are Korean movies ah.
Beige: Because of Mia, she's my cousin who's in South Korea who sends movie DVDs
every month. But that one, the Sky of Love DVD, that's actually a Japanese movi
e and I bought that from the internet. Hehe. So let's watch. What do you want?
Keith: It's up to you.
Beige: Ok. This one.
Keith: Daddy Long Legs?
Beige: Yeah. They said this is the best korean movie ever. Hehe. It just arrived
last week so I haven't watch this pa.
Keith: Ok let's watch this.
We didn't realize that we fell asleep after the movie ended. I find Keith sleepi
ng in my lap. I smiled. Then suddenly, he started talking in his sleep.
Keith: I love you, Beige.
I love you too Keith, but too bad. We can just be friends. I want us to be more
than that. I admit. It's just that I don't want you to experience what you exper
ienced when Venus died. Ayaw ko nang maulit pa ang nangyari noon. Ayaw ko rin ma
ranasan mo ang sakit na naramdaman mo noon. I don't want you to suffer. That's a
lso the reason why I don't want to tell you about my illness. 5 years. A lot of
time actually for people like me. 5 years to make happy memories with you and he
lp you find the perfect girl.
Suddenly, Keith woke up.
Keith: What time is it?
Beige: Sarap ng tulog mo ah. Hehe. It's already 5 pm.
CHAPTER 13
Beige: Stand up na.
He stood up and sat beside me.
Beige: Wait. I'll just get something from the kitchen.
I stood up and got some juice from the fridge. When I turned around Keith was th
ere so I accidentally spilled juice all over his shirt.
Beige: Sorry. I didn't know you're there.
I immediately got a towel and wiped him.
Keith: It's okay.
Beige: Wait. I'll get you a shirt.
I went upstairs and got a shirt from my Dad's closet he doesn't use anymore. I w
ent down and gave Keith the shirt.
Beige: Here. Magpalit ka na.
He suddenly blushed.
Beige: It's so okay. I won't look.
I turned around.
Beige: Ok na?
Keith: Yup.
I turned back to him and got his shirt.
Beige: I'll just wash this. Just wait for it.
Keith: Ok.
I suddenly felt nauseous.
Keith: Are you okay? You look pale.
Beige: Yes. Don't mind me. Eat there first. I have chocolate mousse in the fridg
e. I'll just take care of this.
I went to the basement and placed Keith's t-shirt in the washing machine. I went
back up to see Keith eating the choco mousse. Mali. Nilalantakan na niya yung c
hoco mousse. Naging 1/4 na lang eh. Dati yun 3/4. Hehe.
Beige: Mukhang nagustuhan mo yung choco mousse na binake ko ah.
Keith: Medyo. Hehe.
Beige: Sige. Just eat.
Keith: You want?
Beige: No thanks.
Keith: Sige na. Here.
He cut a slice and fed me.
Keith: Here comes the plane! Shung!
Beige: Ano ako? Toddler?
Keith: Eat it kasi.
Beige: Fine.
After giving me a piece, he also ate a big piece.
Beige: You have icing here.
I pointed where the icing was on his face.
Keith: Where?
He kept wiping in the wrong place.
Beige: Akin na nga. There.
He suddenly blushed.
Keith: Thanks.
Beige: Nagblush ka ha.
Keith: I blushed?
Beige: Yeah. I saw it.
Keith: Hindi kaya.
Beige: Oo kaya. Ang kulit mo.
We just laughed and laughed and laughed. It's so sad to think I'm gonna leave hi
m someday.
The next day..
"Class dismissed."
Ian: Beige! Wait!
Beige: Ian! Why?
Ian: Can you help me with my report? Just edit it. I mean if it's okay with you.
Beige: Sure. When do you want me to edit it?
Ian: If it's okay with you, now.
Beige: Now?
Ian: Now. Since it's already lunch time.
Beige: Ok.
Ian: Thank you so much. Doon tayo sa caf.
Beige: Ah eh. Okay.
We sat down in the table near the entrance of the caf or cafetorium. I was editi
ng Ian's work when I saw Keith and Fae walked passed by me together. So I looked
up and called Keith.
Beige: Keith!
They stopped and went back to my direction.
Keith: Beige! It's the first time I saw you here.
Beige: Just helping Ian. O, there he is.
Ian: Keith! Keith right?
Keith: Yeah.
Ian: Kakain ba kayo? Join us na lang.
And then there was silence. We were eating but all of us are quiet.
Beige: You are Fae right?
Fae: Yeah. You're?
Beige: Beige, Beige Alonzo.
Fae: Hello. Nice to meet you.
Beige: You and Keith...
Fae: Oh. We're just partners in the lab activity.
Beige: No need to explain. Hehe. Ian, eto na yung paper mo. I'm done editing.
I was showing Ian what parts he need to change when I saw Keith. He was so mad.
It is as if he's gonna explode.
Ian: Oh. Okay. Thanks Beige. I really need to go. Catch up with you next time. B
ye!
Beige: No prob. Bye! Oh. It's already 12:30. Keith, Fae, I really need to go. Se
e you around!
Keith: Wait Beige! I'll come with you. Fae, let's just talk about our project to
morrow.
Fae: Oh. Ok.
Meanwhile...
"Are you okay? Is there something bothering you?"
Fae: Drake! Nothing. Just thinking about something.
Drake: Is there any chance that Keith has something to do with it?
Fae: Keith? Why Keith? He's just my classmate. He's not even my friend.
Drake: But you like him right?
Fae: Sush! Wag kang maingay. Saka meron na siyang Beige. The way he was looking
at Beige. It's different. He really likes her. He was so jealous awhile ago at I
an. Kung pwede nga lang eh sinuntok niya na 'to.
CHAPTER 14
Drake: But the main point is that you like him.
Fae: Tama na nga Drake. Stop it. Get over it. I can't love you that way you want
me too.
He stormed out. Can he get a life?
Fae: Kanina ka pa ba diyan?
Ian: No. I was just getting my things for my next class.
Fae: Oh. Okay.
Meanwhile..
Keith: Samahan mo na ako doon sa caf.
Beige: Keith, I still have a history quiz to study. Ang dami ko pang HW.
Keith: Just come with me. I will help you in all your HWs and even your quiz. Ju
st come with me.
Beige: Fine.
After dismissal, we rode a cab and arrived at the airport.
Beige: An airport? What are we doing in an airport?
Keith: Basta.
We went inside and waited for about 15 minutes.
Keith: They're here?
Beige: Who are here?
Keith was waving to someone. Suddenly, 2 people approached us.
Keith: Mom! Dad!
Mrs. Ramos: Keith! Anak! Kamusta ka na?
Keith: I'm okay Mom. How about you? How's your flight?
Mr. Ramos: It went well.
Keith: Let's go. O, by the way, Mom, Dad, this is Beige. Beige, my parents.
Beige: Good afternoon po.
Mrs. Ramos: So you're Beige. Keith had told me lots of things about you.
Beige: Even, Me, being Princess Ann?
Mrs. Ramos: That one too hija.
Beige: May pagkatsismosa ka pala.
I whispered and pinch him in the rear.
Keith: Aw! Sorry. Something bit me. Let's go.
Mr. Ramos: Wait. We're still waiting for someone.
Then suddenly this beautiful, tall girl walk towards us. What's odd about the gi
rl is that she looks a lot like Venus but only older.
"Keith!"
Keith: Benina! Kamusta?
Benina: Of course, beautiful than ever. Hehe. Just joking. I'm fine. Beige?
She approached me at nakipagbeso-beso siya.
Benina: Hello! I'm Benina, Venus' older sister. I saw you once in Venus' room ta
lking to her but I wasn't about to go in because I have colds that day and can't
stay near Venus.
Beige: Oh, Hi! Nice to meet you.
Benina: Let's go. I'm hungry na. You know naman how I hate airplane food.
We went to this elegant restaurant.
Keith: Why do you decide to go back here?
Mr. Ramos: We just want to see how you and your sister are doing here, Son.
Benina: Me, it's just for the Philippine Fashion Week and of course, visiting yo
u Keith.
I learned that Benina is a model for Wilhelmina Models in the states. Wow!
Mrs. Ramos: By the way, where's your sister? Where's Angela?
Keith: Susunod na daw. She was just busy doing something that's why she wasn't a
ble to come with me to pick you up.
Mrs. Ramos: Kain lang Beige. Wag ka nang mahiya.
Beige: It's okay. Hindi lang po ako kasi ganung kagutom eh.
But the truth is I'm feeling nauseous again. Little by little. I'm starting to f
eel the effects of the cancer in my brain. I was about to vomit so I excused mys
elf.
Beige: Excuse me. I'll just go to the ladies room.
I went to the ladies room. Suddenly, Benina comes in. Good thing I was done vomi
ting and was already fixing myself when she came in.
Man! I'm starting to look paler than ever because of this, I need to use make up
again like before to hide the paleness. I don't usually wear make up. I only us
e it in important occasions. Paano pa kaya kapag nagpachemo na ako. Dr. Lee said
with chemo, radiotherapy and medicines, I can slow down the cancer from growing
. Oo nga pala. My first chemo would be this sem break. Good thing. Not many peop
le would see. I'll just pretend I'm sick or something.
Benina: So you're really Princess Ann?
Beige: Yup. If you want I can give you back her ring. You know for remembrance.
Benina: No. It's okay. You deserved her ring. You also deserve Keith.
Beige: Why are you telling me this?
Benina: 'Cause I know how Keith suffered when my sister died and finding you mea
ns a lot to him. He feels you're his only connection to Venus. Keith is right. Y
ou're like Venus. Don't take it the wrong way. Seeing Keith like that means he's
happy because of you not because he sees Venus in you. You helped him moved on.
That's why you really deserve Keith.
Beige: Honestly, no I don't. There are a lots of things going in my life that I
want to face on my own. Things that I don't want Keith to be involve in. I don't
want him to suffer again. There's a girl more deserving than me of Keith's love
. Maybe you or another girl. Wherever she may be, I will find her. That's what I
can say. Because right now, I don't deserve Keith.
I went out. She seemed to look confused when she went back to our table.
The next day...
I was bored in the library one day so I decide to surf the internet. I encounter
this website..
Death Clock
Beige: Death clock? Matry nga.
Day of Birth: 15
Month of Birth: May
Sex: Female
Mode: Normal
BMI: <25
Smoking Status: Non-smoker
Loading...
Your Personal Day of Death is...
Wednesday, July 27, 2072
Beige: Mali pala ito eh. I will die 2014 not 2072.
Keith: Ano yan?
I immediately closed the window.
Beige: Ikaw pala.
Keith: What are you doing?
Beige: Nothing. I was just answering this freaky quiz. Never mind. So what's up?
Keith: Just want to ask you to our family barbecue this weekend?
Beige: Me? Going to your family's barbecue? Why? I'm not even part of the family
.
Keith: I don't know but all I know is my Mom and Dad even Benina liked you so ma
ybe that's why they told me to invite you. Sige na. Angela would be there also.
Beige: Okay. Fine.
Keith: Yes! She'd be thrilled when I tell her you're coming.
CHAPTER 15
I got ready to go to the BBQ Keith was talking about.
Dad: Tapos ka na ba magbihis?
Beige: Malapit na Dad.
I got dressed and went down to give Dad the final reminders.
Beige: Dad, don't forget there's Chicken Teriyaki in the ref. Just heat it.
Dad: Beige, don't forget to take your medicines. Now, we're even. Don't worry ab
out me.
Beige: Hay naku Dad. Don't worry too much. I can take care of myself. Sige Dad.
I need to go.
I kissed my Dad goodbye and went to Keith's house.
Mrs. Ramos: Beige, Hija! Welcome! Keith! Nandito na si Beige.
The BBQ was held in their backyard. I never been to their backyard so I was shoc
ked that their backyard was so big and can accommodate a lot of people.
Keith: Glad you came.
Beige: Thanks for inviting me.
The next few hours were spent with me being introduced to almost everyone in Kei
th's family. I heard that this is the first time his mom and dad went home to th
e Philippines since they went to the states 20 years ago so decided to have this
reunion BBQ party to gather all the members of the Ramos and Valdez family.
Keith: Let's eat.
I were in a table with Mr. & Mrs. Ramos, Angela, Benina and Keith.
Mr. Ramos: So Beige, tell us about your Dad. What does he do for a living?
Beige: He's an architect Sir.
Mrs. Ramos: And your Mom?
Beige: She died because of cancer when I still a little kid.
Mrs. Ramos: I'm so sorry to hear that.
Beige: It's okay.
Mr. Ramos: Do you have any idea what course you're going to take Beige? You're a
lready in your senior year in high school. You must have something in mind alrea
dy.
Beige: Education, Sir. That's what I want to take. I just took an exam in UP and
I'm still waiting for the results to come but there's also a chance that I'd be
studying in the States.
Considering one day I may go back to Forks and have my treatments there again.
Mr. Ramos: Oh, glad to hear that.
After eating, Keith toured me all over their house.
Beige: Excuse me. I'll just go to the restroom.
Keith: Turn right then the door to the left.
Beige: Ok. Thanks.
I was fixing myself when I had this throbbing headache. I manage to go out of th
e bathroom and sit on the couch near the bathroom. Then suddenly, I saw Benina a
pproaching towards my direction.
Benina: Beige! Are you okay?
Beige: Right now, no. Just get me some water please.
Benina came back with a glass of water and I took my medicines. After a while, m
y headache subsided. She saw the inscription in my medicine bottle.Patay.
Benina: Why do you have this kind of medicine? It's so strong that only..
Beige: Sorry. I don't really want everyone to know especially Keith.
Benina: What is it exactly? Colon cancer again?
Beige: No. Something worse. Brain cancer. I have only 5 years to live.
Benina: That's what the vomiting in the bathroom was all about.
Beige: You saw that? But please Benina. Please keep this as a secret to everyone
especially Keith. I don't want him to know my condition.
Benina: I can keep it as a secret but malalaman at malalaman din yun ni Keith.
Beige: One day, I will tell him about my condition but not know. So please Benin
a, I'm really begging you.
Benina: I will keep it as a secret but if the time comes Keith asks me about you
r condition, I will not lie.
Beige: Thank you.
I went down to look for Keith.
Keith: I was looking for you. I thought you went home already.
Beige: I was just in the backyard. I helped Benina clean the tables. After that
we talked for awhile. Why?
I lied again. Will the time come that I will no longer have to lie to Keith?
Keith: Here.
Beige: A gift? For what? It's not even my birthday.
Keith: I just want to give you a gift. Uhm.. for our friendship.
Beige: A gift for our friendship?
Keith: Just take it.
Beige: Ok. Thanks.
I was about to open it when Keith stopped me.
Keith: Open it later when you get home.
Beige: Oh.. Ok.
Keith brought me home after that and I went straight to my room. I immediately o
pened the gift. Inside was a book. The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks I was flippin
g through the pages when suddenly, I encountered a note written on the last page
.
"The best love is the kind that weakens the soul, and makes us reach for more, p
uts pints of fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds."
I hope what we have now doesn't change when I tell you what I really feel. One d
ay, I would have the courage and tell you everything. I hope if that day comes y
ou'll feel the same way I do.
CHAPTER 16
1. Watch all of Audrey Hepburn's movies
2. Eat the biggest Pizza
3. See the most beautiful sunset
4. Go underwater diving
5. To visit the Museum of Tolerance
6. Teach my Dad how to cook
7. Give Dr. Lee a gift
8. Learn how to ride a bicycle
9. Give away my things to the people I love
10. Find Keith the perfect girl
"Ms, may I join you?"
I got bored Sunday morning so I went to the mall. I was in a cafe writing some n
otes in my notebook when someone approached me.
Beige: Ian! Sure.
Ian: Fancy meeting you here.
Beige: I'm just bored so I decided to hang out here. You?
Ian: Just accompanying my brother Jake. He asked me to go with him here but I re
alize he just asked me to go so that he has an excuse. He's meeting this girl he
met in a chatroom.
Beige: Nice. Hehe.
Ian: What's that?
He saw my notebook. He started reading what is written.
Ian: 1) Watch all of Audrey Hepburn's movies. 2) Eat the biggest Pizza 3)See the
most beautiful sunset.. What's this a bucket list?
Beige: No of course. I'm not dying yet. It's just something I wanted to do this
summer. I tend to get bored during summer.
I lied. He's right. It's my bucket list, things to do before I kick the bucket i
n short, die.
Ian: Can I ask you a question?
Beige: What is it?
Ian: Are you and Keith? You know..
Beige: Together? Hehe. We're just close friends. Actually, he's the first friend
I had. Maybe that's why we're close.
Ian: Why don't you have friends before?
Beige: No. I'm just always by myself.
In a span of an hour we talked about a lot of this. Ian, I admit is really talka
tive. He's the person who's easy to be with. You'll not feel bored when you're w
ith him.
Beige: Sorry Ian but I need to go.
Ian: Ok. Sabay na tayo.
Beige: Mauna na ako. I need to buy something pa eh.
Ian: No. It's okay. I'll go with you.
We went to the beauty shop to buy some makeup to hide my paleness. I'm not much
into makeup but I really need to hide my paleness. A lot of people are noticing
it already.
Ian: I didn't know you wear makeup.
Beige: I don't normally wear but there's this formal family thing I need to go t
o.
Ian: Oh.
Ian walked me to the jeepney bay. He didn't leave until the jeepney I'm riding l
eft. What a sweet guy. Hehe. I couldn't help but smile. There's still nice peopl
e on this earth.
The next day..
Ian: Last day before sem break! Woho!
Beige: Excited ah.
Ian: Medyo. Oo nga pala do you have plans this sem break?
Beige: Wala pa nga eh. Hehe. Bahala na.
I saw Keith approaching us.
Beige: Good morning Keith!
Ian: Good morning!
Keith: Good morning.
He looked pissed off.
Ian: Sige. Need to go. Still need to study for my exam in Theology. See ya!
Beige: Bye Ian! Keith, why? Is there something wrong?
Keith: Nothing. I'm just not feeling well.
Beige: Oh, sayang. I'm about to ask you pa naman to go with me. I just need to d
o some things after class since we'd be going home early. I guess I will just as
k Ian to go with me.
Keith: No. No. It's okay. I'm okay already. I'll go with you.
Beige: Okay. Sabi mo eh. Hehe.
Then the school bell rang.
Keith: Mamayang dismissal kita tayo sa may gate.
He's acting weird. Awhile ago he's pissed off now it is as if he's happy and exc
ited.
Keith: Let's go.
After dismissal we went straight to this old store with an archive of old movies
.
Keith: Why are we here?
Beige: I'm looking for some old movies. My goal for this year is to watch all of
Audrey Hepburn's movies. I only need to watch 4 movies to complete all of her m
ovies. Two for the Road, How to Steal a Million, Love in the Afternoon and Green
Mansions. So we're here to look for those movies.
Keith: Sobra ka naman. You really love Audrey Hepburn.
Beige: Yup. Kuya Henry! Meron ka na ba nung mga hinahanap ko?
Kuya Henry: Yun ang problema. May kulang.
I'm always here looking for Audrey Hepburn movies so Kuya Henry knows me already
. Kuya Henry is sort of the librarian of this store. If you see him you'll say t
hat he's too young for the job and his look doesn't suit this job but he inherit
ed it from his father who inherited it from his father so on and so forth. You g
et the point. And he really liked what he's doing. He's really a classics movie
genius. Hehe.
Beige: Ano yung kulang?
Kuya Henry: Yung matagal mo nang hinahanap.
Beige: Yung Love in the Afternoon. Hay. It's okay. I'll buy the other ones. The
Two for the Road, How to Steal a Million and Green Mansions.
I paid Kuya Henry and bid him goodbye.
Beige: Text mo na lang ako Kuya kapag may copy ka na ng Love in the Afternoon. T
hanks! Let's go Keith. I'm already hungry.
We went to this restaurant who claims they have serve the biggest pizza. I reall
y dedicated this day to do some things in my bucket list. I really want to do th
ese things with Keith so that I will have at least some fun memories with him.
Keith: Woah! Are your that hungry? This pizza is so big. Can we finish this?
Beige: Just eat. I'll take care of the rest.
We ate about 4 slices all together and had lots of leftovers.
2. Eat the biggest Pizz
Keith: What are we going to do with the left over.
Beige: Just wait. I'll take care off it. Waiter! Patake-out nga.
When our take-out pizza arrived..
Beige: Let's go. Keith,
Keith: Yes?
Beige: Do you know how to ride a bike?
Keith: Yeah. Why?
I pulled Keith's arm.
8. Learn how to ride a bicycl
Beige: Turuan mo naman akong magbike oh.
Keith: Yun lang ba? Sure.
Keith taught me how to ride a bike. We kept laughing and laughing because at fir
st I had a hard time learning.
Keith: Just look straight.
I looked straight and did it. I learned how to ride a bike but the consequence t
o it is that I have a sprained ankle. I wasn't able to control the bike for awhi
le so I fell. When Keith saw I fell he immediately run to where I am and checked
if I was okay.
Keith: Are you okay?
I nodded. I was trying to stand but the pain in my ankle is killing me. I was su
rprised in what he did next.
Keith: Wait. Don't move. I'll help you.
He lifted me and sat me on the bench.
Keith: Sandali lang maghahanap lang ako ng ice.
Beige: Sure.
He went back with a plastic full of ice. He placed it on top of my ankle.
Keith: Better?
Beige: Yes. Thank you.
We decided to eat the left over pizza but it's still too much so I called some s
treet children and gave it to them.
Beige: O, eto o. Sa inyo na lang. Hati hati kayo ha.
"Salamat po."
Keith: You're nice pala. Hehe.
Beige: Matagal na.
We spent the rest of the afternoon lying on the grass and talking.
Keith: Malamok na dito. Halika na.
We rode the jeepney and went home.
Keith: Uhm.. Beige, nandito na tayo.
Beige: Sorry. I fell asleep.
Keith: It's okay.
We went of the jeepney and walked to my house.
Beige: Keith, thanks for coming with me.
Keith: No prob. I had so much fun anyway. Siguradong okay na yang ankle mo?
Beige: Yup. It's much better. Thank you again. Sige.
I was about to go inside my house when..
Keith: Beige..
Beige: What is it?
Keith: Uhm.. I would just like to say that.. that I..
Beige: What?
Keith: I would just like to say good night.
Beige: Oh, good night too.
I thought he'll say that he loved me but I'm glad he didn't because I don't know
what I will do if he told me he loved me. It will just make everything worse th
an they already were.
CHAPTER 17
Dad: I'm worried about what's going to happen tomorrow.
Beige: Don't worry Dad it's just my chemo. It will turn out well. Halika nga dit
o Dad. Taste this.
It was the morning before the day of my first chemo.
Dad: Delicious as usual.
He faked a smile.
Beige: Dapat Dad ganito ka ring kasarap magluto. Starting today I will teach you
how to cook. Para kapag wala na ako hindi puro take-out ang kakaininin mo.
Dad: Don't say that Beige. You'll not die. You'll get cured.
Beige: Sana nga Dad pero kung hindi.. Basta! It's God's will but everyday I read
y myself. If I'm destined to die early, I'm going to die early.
Dad: When I'm talking to you it is as if I'm talking to an adult. You're really
strong and mature.
Beige: Dad talaga. I'm just telling truth. Let's stop the drama. Let's eat. Dinn
er's ready.
The next day, with my Dad we went to the hospital had my chemo. It was passed th
rough an IV. It was a bit painful but it was bearable. I just slept the whole da
y. I'm a bit weak and doesn't the appetite to eat but I can take this.
The next morning..
Dad: Beige, Beige, wake up. You have a visitor.
Beige: A visitor?
When I opened my eyes it was Ian.
Beige: Why are you here? How did you know?
My Dad went outside and left us alone.
Ian: I overheard Kuya (he meant Dr. Lee) and Nurse Abby talking about your condi
tion yesterday when I visited Kuya. What is it exactly?
Beige: Brain cancer. I only have 5 years to live.
Ian: Does Keith know about this?
Beige: Of course not. I don't tell anyone about my condition especially Keith. I
don't want him to know.
Ian: You're being selfish in not telling him, you know that?
Beige: I'm not being selfish. I just don't to make things more complicated. I do
n't want him to suffer like I do.
Ian: The list on your notebook and the make-up, it is all because of this right?
I nodded.
Ian: What if Keith notices and know everything?
Beige: He'll not know if you'll not tell him.
Ian: I don't know Beige. He has the right to know.
My phone rang. It was Keith calling.
Beige: Hello!
Keith: Hi Beige. I'm calling you because I have this out of town vacation. My fr
iends are going to be there and I was wondering if you wanted to go. We're leavi
ng Manila later this evening. We're staying there for 3 days. If you want I'll j
ust fetch you later.
Beige: Sure. Pero medyo busy pa ako kaya baka sumunod na lang ako.Where is it ex
actly?
Keith gave me the name and address of this resort they'd be going to.
Keith: See you there.
Beige: See you. Bye.
I put down my phone.
Ian: You agree to go out of town? You're still recovering Beige. You can't go.
Beige: I already said yes. I don't want to make Keith suspicious.
My Dad went back in.
Beige: Dad, this is Ian. He's Carmella's brother and also my classmate. Ian, my
Dad.
Ian: Nice to meet you Sir.
Dad: Nice to meet you too.
Ian: Sir, with all due respect please tell Beige she can't go out of town. She's
still recovering.
Beige: Ian!
Dad: Why? What is this about?
Ian: Keith is asking her to go this resort out of town. I said she too weak to g
o there and she's still recovering.
Beige: Dad! Please allow me to go. I can take care of myself. I'm not that weak
anymore. Is it okay Dad? We'll stay there for about 3 days. Sige na Dad.
Dad: Okay. But..
Beige: But what?
Dad: Ian's going with you. He's gonna make sure you're okay.
Ian: Me?
Dad: Yes. If it's okay with you Ian.
Ian nodded.
Dad: Are you okay with that Isabella?
Beige: Okay. Fine.
Since that incident Ian became my friend/nurse. He's always there to take care o
f me.
The next morning...
My Dad drop us off the resort Keith was talking about. Keith was there with his
friends Erin, Gerard, Aicca, Brian, Michael and Chris. I also saw Drake, my clas
smate in one subject and Fae. Keith saw us walking towards them. He was shocked
when he saw I was with Ian. Aicca's the first person to greet me.
Aicca: Beige! Thank God you came. Oh, who's that with you?
CHAPTER 18
Beige: Hi Keith! Hi guys! Si Ian, friend ko. My Dad wanted me to take Ian here s
ince he doesn't have a lot of friends yet.
Aicca: Ohh.. Hi Ian! Nice to meet you.
They introduced themselves to Ian and then we went inside to eat lunch. I sat be
side Keith and Ian. Ian's on my right and Keith's on my left.
Aicca: Are you okay Beige? You're not eating at all.
Ian: We ate before going here so she's a bit full.
Aicca: Ohh..
I nodded to affirm what Ian said. After eating, I decided to walk outside and br
eathe in some fresh air.
Ian: Wait!
I saw Ian walking towards my direction.
Beige: O, Ian. Why?
Ian: Nothing. Hehe. I just wanted to walk with you. Are you okay? I mean, are yo
u still feeling weak?
Beige: A bit but I'm okay.
Ian: You know, I envy you, you're so strong. I really don't know what I'll do if
I were you.
Beige: It's hard to be strong really. This thing I'm experiencing now is hard. N
ot because of the pain I'm feeling or the chemos. What's hard is that I have to
fake everything. I have to fake that I'm okay, that everything's okay. I have to
lie to the people I love.
Ian wasn't able to talk.
Beige: Don't give me that look Ian. I maybe dying but I don't need pity. That pi
ty won't save me from dying.
Ian: I'm sorry.
Beige: Don't be. It's hard but everyday I ready myself. One day, I'm going to le
ave all of this. I'm going to leave all of my love ones and I can't stop it from
happening.
I smiled.
Beige: Let's go in. I'm getting tired. Let's go watch some movies.
All afternoon Ian and I just watched Audrey Hepburn movies in our room. At first
, he taught all Audrey Hepburn movies are all girly but after watching Two for t
he Road, How to Steal a Million and Green Mansions his opinion changed. He like
all the movies we watched.
Oh, I forgot. Ian and I share the same room since we're the last one to arrive,
they had a hard time getting a room for us so they had no choice but to put me a
nd Ian in the same room. Keith was mad; wait, he was rather furious when he hear
d that Ian and I were in the same room. Hehe. After watching some movies, Ian de
cided to go out for a while but I just stayed inside the room and slept.
Suddenly, I heard someone's knocking on my door.

Beige: Come in!
It was Keith. He went inside and sat on Ian's bed.
Keith: Sorry. Did I wake you up?
Beige: Yes but it's okay. Why? Is there something wrong?
Keith: Uhm.. I just wanted to give you something.
He gave me this box with frilly ribbons.
Keith: Open it.
Beige: You're giving me lots of gifts this days ah. Hehe.
I opened it and it was a copy of Audrey Hepburn's Love in the Afternoon.
Beige: How did you get this? This is rare and not many people sell this.
Keith: Secret.
He laughed.
Beige: Ikaw ah. Anyways, thank you very much. I've been looking for this for abo
ut 2 years already.
I hugged him. He suddenly blushed.
Beige: Let's watch it now. We still have time before dinnertime comes.
So the rest of the time we were just in my room watching Love in the Afternoon.
1. Watch all of Audrey Hepburn's movie
The next day...
I decided to wake up early and get some fresh air. They said it's good for my he
alth. I was walking with I accidentally bumped into this lady. All the contents
of her bag scattered all over the sand.
Beige: I'm so sorry. Here let me help you.
I was helping her put her things in her bag when I saw a bottle of pain killers,
the same pain killers that I take.
Beige: Hydromorphone. I take the same.
I handed her the bottle. She wasn't able to speak for a moment.
"You also have.."
I nodded.
Beige: By the way, I'm Beige.
I extended my hand to her.
"I'm Ria."
CHAPTER 19
We decided to walk along the beach.
Ria: So what is it?
Beige: Brain cancer.
Ria: Heart cancer.
Beige: So what's the matter?
Ria: I'm here to get away from everything. To..
Beige: Die here.
She nodded.
Beige: How long?
Ria: 6 months na lang.
Beige: I'm still lucky. 5 years. I try to keep it but God make ways for people t
o know it. But thank God he doesn't let Keith know about it.
Ria: Who's Keith?
Beige: Just someone.. it's complicated.
Ria: Tell me about it. It's hard pala keeping it but eventually he knew and he e
ven asked me to marry him.
Beige: Then why are you here and not with him? It's all alright. You're lucky, d
espite your condition he still wants to marry you.
Ria: I don't want him to suffer. Ayaw kong maging pabigat sa kanya.
Beige: What is his name?
Ria: Nate.
Beige: I'm not really in the place to give advice. Not only because you're older
than me but in a way we're going through the same thing. But I have question. D
o you think Nate would ask you to marry him if he didn't want to take care of yo
u? Or spend the last 6 months with you? Him asking you to marry means something.
He's willing to suffer with you.
Ria: What about Keith?
Beige: I knew you'd be asking that question. That's why one day I know I would l
eave him so I need to look for someone who'll gonna love him like I do.
Ria: You'll do that for him?
Beige: Ganun ko siya kamahal. I don't want also for him to suffer. He had suffer
before because of the death of Venus and I don't want to him to feel abandoned.
I'm no love expert. I admit that. But be grateful. Nate's gonna marry you despi
te everything.
She wasn't able to speak.
After talking, we went back to our rooms. I was surprised because her room was
just across mine. I decided to get some rest and after that I went out. I saw Ke
ith and his friends playing beach volleyball but I was not in the mood to play s
o I just watched them. Drake was beside me also watching.
Beige: O, Drake. Bakit di ka sumali?
Drake: I got a little tired that's all.
Beige: Me too.
I noticed that he's a bit sad.
Beige: What's wrong?
Drake: Nothing.
Beige: Don't lie. I can see it in your face and even you're eyes that there's so
mething bothering you.
Why do I feel like I'm a therapist these days? They tell me what's wrong and I g
ive them advices. Haha.
Drake: It's Fae.
Beige: You like her do you?
He nodded.
Beige: Why? Are you afraid to tell her?
Drake: I already told her already but she rejected me.
Beige: Why?
Drake: Because she loves somebody else.
Beige: Who?
He didn't speak. It is as if he doesn't want me to know but he glanced at Keith
for awhile.
Beige: Keith. Fae loves Keith.
He nodded. I wasn't able to talk for awhile.
Beige: There's a saying that if you love somebody you need to let them go but th
at saying doesn't tell you that it would be easy. It's a hard and painful proces
s. As much as you love Fae you need to let her go. As much as I love Keith I ne
ed to let him go.
I stood up.
Beige: Guys! Diyan muna kayo. Ikot muna ako.
Upon walking along the beach thinking about what happened earlier with me and Dr
ake, I saw this guy playing his guitar and looking at the sunset. He looks like
he's so sad and has a big problem.
Like a pilot when the engine dies, I've abandoning my plans. And like a knight w
ithout his armor, I don't know who I am. And I tried to forget you but the memor
ies got stuck and now they're on display..
Beige: A Lack of Armor by Jesse Ruben. Right?
"Right."
Beige: Nice song but it seems that it has a deeper meaning for you.
I sat beside him.
"It's kinda personal."
Beige: It's okay. I don't want to force you to tell me. I understand you. I'm ju
st a stranger. Why would you tell me those things? Right? I'm just here to borro
w your guitar.
He laughed. I got his guitar and started playing.
Ocean, ocean, can you feel me? I know you can, why would I mean that much to you
? Lifetime, lifetime, you're enough time. To find the heart, find the arms I bel
ong into. And don't you know that I screamed the truth till I lost my mind? And
don't you think that there should be an end somewhere close behind?
"Nice voice."
Beige: Thanks I guess.
"By the way, I'm Nate."
Beige: I'm Beige.
Weird. He has the same name as Ria's fianc.
CHAPTER 20
Beige: Something's bothering you. Huh?
He nodded.
Beige: I say love and life have four things in common.
Nate: What are those four things?
Beige: They're both unfair, complicated, hard and sucks.
He laughed.
Beige: Well, I'm telling the truth aren't I?
Nate: But they're also both worth taking risks.
Beige: True but it's up to us if we're gonna take a risk. So what brings you her
e?
Nate: My fiance left me and I decided to follow her here.
Beige: Why? Is there something wrong? Did you cheat on her or something? Not tha
t I'm accusing you.
Nate: No no. It's not that. It's just that.. It's complicated.
Beige: Let me guess. Your fiance's name is Ria. She has cancer and she left you
because she knew that you knew she had cancer and still willing to marry her des
pite her condition.
Nate: How did you know? Are you a psychic or something?
Beige: No. I know your fiance and follow me. I know where she is staying.
I pulled his hand and we went to Ria's room.
Beige: Ria!
Ria: Who's there?
Beige: It's Beige.
She opened the door.
Ria: Beige! Why are-- Nate! What are you doing here?
Beige: I'll leave you two kids alone but before that Ria, think about Nate's sid
e for a change and tell him everything you told me. And Nate, try to understand
her and still pursue her. She'll be need you badly. Toodles!
I went inside my room to see Ian there sleeping. I also went to sleep myself. Th
en suddenly, someone knocked on my door. It was Keith.
Keith: Wanna learn how to underwater dive? They're giving free lessons and if yo
u learn quickly you'll be able to underwater dive ASAP.
Beige: Cool. Sure. I always wanted to underwater dive. Ian wanna come?
Ian: Beige..
Beige: Don't worry Ian. I can do it. Are you coming or not?
Ian: I'm coming.
Beige: Let's go.
We learned how to underwater dive. At first it was so hard but I got the hang of
it. So that mere afternoon the instructor let us to underwater dive. We even fe
d the fishes. It was so cool. If it's possible I could live here. It is as if th
ere's a different world here under. Wow.
4. Go underwater divin
We were on our way home when Keith whispered something in my ear.
Keith: Meet me later. 7 pm. Near the shore.
I did what he told me later that night. When I arrived I saw rose petals and a
bonfire but Keith wasn't there.
Beige: Keith! Where are you?
Then I suddenly heard someone singing.
"I think that possibly maybe I'm falling for you. Yes, there's a chance that I'v
e fallen quite hard over you."
SNEAK PREVIEW
He's about to say he loves me. Good thing something happened. 'Cause I don't kno
w what to say or do if he did.
I will not play naive or oblivious. I know you love him.
Yeah I know but I like someone else.
Yes. I do but I know he won't love me back because he loves you.
But what if I do love someone? What will you do?
Why don't just tell him about your condition? It'll make everything better.
What if there's someone who likes even loves you but afraid to tell you what he/
she really feels?
How about Fae? She's pretty, decent and even smart.
CHAPTER 21
I think that possibly maybe I'm falling for you. Yes, there's a chance that I've
fallen quite hard over you. I've seen the paths that your eyes wander down. I w
ant to come too. I think that possibly maybe I'm falling for you. No one underst
ands me quite like you do. Through all of the shadowy corners of me.
It was Keith.
Beige: What's the meaning of this?
I interrupted his singing. He stopped singing and walk towards me.
Keith: I just want to surprise you. I just want say that I know we've only known
each other for a while and I know we're the closest of friends but I want us to
be more than that. Beige, I..
Everything went black. The next thing I knew I was in my room again and my frien
ds, Keith, Ian, Aicca and the rest are in my room looking all worried.
Beige: Why? What happened?
Ian: You fainted. Keith carried you here. Are you now okay?
Beige: Yup. Thanks. Thank you too Keith. Guys, don't worry about me. It was just
because of the heat.
Keith: Are you sure?
Beige: Yes. I'm sure.
Ian: Okay. We'll just be outside if you need anything. Guys, let's go. Let's giv
e Beige time to rest.
Drake: Okay. Let's go.
Beige: Ian..
Ian: What is it? Do you need something?
Beige: Can you stay for awhile? I have to say something to you.
Ian: Oh. Okay.
Keith: Can I stay too? I'm worried about you.
Beige: No. It's okay. Ian can take care of me. You go ahead. Have fun outside.
I faked a smile even though deep inside I'm still weak. They left afterward.
Beige: Are they gone?
Ian: Yup. Why? Ano ba sasabihin mo sa akin?
Beige: Upo ka muna. I just need someone to talk to. As much as I want to talk to
Keith, what I'm going to say is about him.
Ian: Okay. I'm all ears.
Beige: Do you know what happened before I fainted? He asked me to go the shore a
nd so I did. I arrived and there was a bonfire and rose petals. I suddenly heard
someone singing. It was Keith. Ian, he's about to say he loves me. Good thing s
omething happened. 'Cause I don't know what to say or do if he did.
Ian: Why don't just tell him about your condition? It'll make everything better.
Beige: It will not. It will just make everything worse. Why can't you just tell
me.. Beige, it will be okay. You're gonna be fine. You made the right decision n
ot telling Keith and you're lucky you fainted. Blah. Blah. Blah.
Ian: I'm not the type of person who says that Beige.
Beige: I know. It's just things are getting more and more complicated now a days
. I'm afraid I'm not gonna take it one day that I need to go somewhere else just
to escape from all of this.
Ian: Itulog mo na nga muna yan. I can't say everything would be alright, you kno
w that but just don't lose hope.
The next day..
I went down to eat breakfast and decided to sit in the resort's lounge to relax
and read the book I brought. Then suddenly, Fae sat beside me.
Beige: Hi Fae!
Fae: Hi.
I continued reading but something's bothering me. I need to talk to her.
Beige: Uhm. Fae, can I talk to you outside?
Fae: Sure.
We went outside and went to the nearest cafe.
Beige: One Iced Latte please. Make it decaf and.. What do you want Fae? Don't wo
rry my treat.
Fae: Just one Mocha frappe.
Beige: And one Mocha frappe for her. I just wanted to talk to you about somethi
ng.
Then there was silence. I took a deep breathe and said..
Beige:I will not play naive or oblivious Fae. I know you love him. You love Keit
h.
Fae: Yes. I do but I know he won't love me back because he loves you.
Beige: Yeah. I know but what if I don't love Keith back?
Fae: You don't?
Beige: Fae, I love Keith. I love Keith but only as a friend and that's it. As a
friend, I want what's best for him and I believed that you're the best girl for
him. Don't worry about him. I would even help you if you want just to be with hi
m. I hate unrequited as much as I hate hurting Keith but what am I going to do i
f I don't love him?
It is as if I'm being swallowed by the ground with all the lies I'm telling Fae.
If I was Pinocchio my nose would be as long as the Golden Gate bridge.
Beige: I know I'd be hurting a lot of people because of this. Drake, Keith and s
omewhat also you. But I would just say one thing to you. Don't be afraid to love
Keith because he isn't owned by anybody not even me.
I stood up and just in time our order arrived. I got my iced latte, paid for our
drinks and took off. I saw Keith walking near the shore.
Beige: Hi Keith! What a sunny day it is! How are you?
Keith's not answering.
Beige: Why? You're jealous of Ian? Just joking. Why? Got up on the wrong side of
the bed?
Keith: What if I do? What if I'm jealous of Ian? He's always with you. You even
asked him to stay in your room last night and asked all of us to leave.
Beige: Nagtampo naman 'tong best friend ko. Don't worry. He's just a friend. We'
re not dating or something. I would tell you naman if something's happening with
Ian and I. Cheer up!
He stayed silent.
Beige: Can I ask you something?
He nodded.
Beige: What if there's someone who likes even loves you but afraid to tell you
what he/she really feels?
Keith: I would tell her to tell me what she really feels even though she's afrai
d. I won't think it's jahe or a turn off. Freedom of speech, remember? Why are y
ou asking that question?
Beige: Hehe. Nothing. I have a question again. Actually, I have two questions. O
ne, have you moved on already? Two, do you have plans on loving again?
Keith: Are we on a TV show? Where are the cameras?
I slapped him in the arm.
Keith: Ouch!
Beige: I'm serious.
Keith: Fine. Yes and yes.
Beige: Nice. If you have already moved on, you want I'll help you find you're ne
w special someone. Not worry I'm not going to replace Venus. I know she's differ
ent but as you said you've moved on. Uhm.. How about Fae? She's pretty, decent a
nd even smart.
Keith: Yeah I know but I like someone else.
Beige: Who? I faced him.
Keith: Sino pa ba? Eh di..
Then suddenly, I heard someone calling.
Nate: Beige!
It was Ria and Nate. Hay.. Finally! Hehe.
Beige: Ria! Nate! Together once again?
Ria: Yup! And now for good. See.
She showed me her engagement ring
Beige: Let me guess. Jean Schlumberger Bud Ring from Tiffany and Co.
Ria: Yeah. How did you know?
Beige: I used to spend my weekends learning about jewelries. Enough about that.
Are you sure about this? No backing out?
Nate: Yup. Thanks to you.
Beige: It was nothing. O, sorry. I forgot to introduce you to each other. Ria, N
ate this is my friend Keith. Keith, this is Ria and Nate.
Keith: How did come to know them?
Ria: It's a long story. Oh. By the way, we're inviting you to our wedding tomorr
ow afternoon.
Beige: Wow! Excited much?
Nate: You know with Ria's condition that wouldn't be considered fast.
Beige: Sure. I'd love to come.
Ria: But there's a catch. You'd have to sing in our wedding. Nate loved your voi
ce and we really want to to sing in our wedding. We owe you a lot already but th
is is the last one. I promise.
Beige: Sure. No prob. Embarrassing but for you two, sure.
Nate: Bring Keith with you. Heard he also has a good singing voice.
The wedding day..
I fixed myself and wore this white dress, of course, it's vintage. It's the only
dress appropriate for the occasion. Thank God I placed that one in my bag. The
first song we sang was the entourage song. With this song, they must have been h
uge fans of One Tree Hill. Hehe.

Beige: Ready Keith?
Keith: Ready!
All the things you are to me. Darling you have set me free. Always give you what
you need and what you deserve.
All the joy and all this love. I know that it is from above and now together the
re's enough to fill this world.
'Cause you are the love of my life
You are the love of my life
And now we're man and wife
CHAPTER 22
I just love weddings. You can see in Ria and Nate's eyes they really love each o
ther. I just wished Ria wasn't going to die and they'd be in each other's arms f
orever.
After the ceremony we went to this big gazebo near the beach for the reception.
We ate there and watched the program. I told Keith to wait. I just needed to sin
g one song for them and we can go.
Beige: Uhm. I just want to wish the newlyweds a happy marriage. I know things ar
e gonna get rough but you can do it. To Nate and Ria! To lighten up the mood I w
ould like to give this song as a gift to the newlyweds. Since I noticed you two
are big fans of One Tree Hill this song is for you.
I want a dress, nice and pale with a hat on the top pf the sheer tailored veil,
pink on the sash so it matches the beads of swarovski glass. I want a day full o
f love, how lovely.
After that, we bade Ria and Nate goodbye. We decide to walk near the shore befor
e going back.
Keith: Nice wedding. It is as if they really love each other.
Beige: They do. It is just sad that it has to end early.
Keith: Why? What's the matter?
Beige: Ria has cancer. She only have a few months to live.
Keith: So sad. At least in the end they had love by their side. Good thing you d
on't have cancer anymore. I wouldn't know what will I do if you have cancer agai
n.
There you go folks. One of the reasons why I don't want to tell Keith that I hav
e brain cancer. I just returned a fake smile.
Keith: I'm just happy we have our alone time again. It's already quite a long ti
me since we bonded and talked like this.
Beige: Yup. I just wished this day wouldn't end.
'Cause tomorrow we'll go back to Manila and almost everything would be different
especially between us.
Beige: I'm tired already let's sit here.
I sat on his lap while looking at the sunset. I saw that he was blushing.
Beige: What is that? Are you blushing?
Keith: I'm not blushing. It was just because of the heat earlier.
Beige: Hehe. Sabi mo eh.
I just wish we could always be like this. I closed my eyes to feel the wonderful
breeze.
Keith: Beige, I'd been dying to say this to you but I just don't have the courag
e. Beige, I.. love you. Beige? Did you hear me? Hello? Beige? Ano ba yan. Tinulu
gan ako.
I was not sleeping. I was just pretending to. I'm not the type to run or escape
from her problems but with Keith, that's the exact thing I'm doing. I felt tears
coming down my eyes even though my eyes were shut. I waited for him to fall asl
eep. I stood up, faced him and held his face with my hands.
Beige: Keith, I love you too but we can't be together. As much as I want to, we
can't. I can't just cure cancer that easily. One day, as much as it hurts I'm go
nna leave you.
I kissed his cheek and stood up to go back to my room.
Keith: Beige?
I wiped my tears before facing Keith.
Beige: Sorry. Did I wake you up? It's just that it's already midnight and I want
ed to go back to my room already but you're still sleeping so I didn't wake you
up.
Keith: No. It's okay. I'm going inside with you.
The next day we went back to Manila. After a week, we went back to school and we
nt on with our own lives. Ian's not agreeing to it but when we went back I decid
ed to distant myself from Keith. I don't want the attachment because one day I'm
gonna leave him. It's hard for me to be used to that fact.
Ian: Beige! Huy! Are you listening?
Beige: Sorry. I was just thinking about something.
We were walking one morning. We passed by the bulletin board to look for the imp
ortant announcements.
Ian: Cool! The theater's guild is looking for a director for their upcoming play
.
Beige: What's the play?
Ian: Sophocles' Antigone.
Beige: O city of my fathers in the land of Thebe! O ye gods, eldest of our race!
They are leading me hence, no, now, they tarry not! Behold me, prince of Thebes
, the last daughter of the house of your kings, see what I suffer and for whom,
because I feared to cast away the fear of heaven!
Ian: Wow! You know the lines?
Beige: Not really bragging but yeah, all of them. Wait, since when did you becam
e interested in the theater's guild?
Ian: When I saw their beautiful president.
Beige: Pia Moreno? You like her? Not that I'm protesting. She's a great girl. Pr
etty, talented and smart.
Ian: Speaking of her. Here she is.
Pia: Want to be our play's director, Ian? Ian right? You're in my Statistics cla
ss.
Ian: Yup. Directing? Not my thing but my friend here wants to.
Beige: Me?
Pia: Beige Alonzo right?
Beige: Yes but I don't want to do it. I'm not good in directing.
Ian: Don't mind her. She's just being humble. She knows all the lines of that pl
ay.
Beige: Yeah. I know it because I used to read it since I was a kid but I can't b
e a director.
Ian: You can do it. Take risks. When's the meeting for the play?
Pia: Later. Lunch time.
Ian: Ok she'll be there.
Me? Director of a play? Ian!
CHAPTER 23
Beige: Why would I want to direct a play? Huh Ian?
Ian: Wag ka nang magalit sa akin. It would be a nice diversion you know. Keep yo
urself busy and as I say take risks.
Beige: Fine but if I suck at this I'm gonna blame you.
Ian: You'll not suck. I know it.
Ian saw another announcement.
Ian: What's this? A Christmas ball?
Beige: Yup. This school is very fond of balls and dances. We have lots of them a
nd that Christmas ball is somewhat the christmas party slash ball only for senio
rs. It is held on the 23 of December. I heard the theme's masquerade but I won't
go.
Ian: Why?
Beige: I rather stay at home that go to that ball and I don't have a date.
Ian: Me or if you want Keith can be your date. It's our senior year. Our last ye
ar in high school. Why not go?
Beige: I'll think about it but Keith can't be my date. Speaking of Keith, I need
you to help with me something.
Ian: What is it?
Beige: Miraculously, I'm on my way to making Dad an official cook and now it's t
ime to find Keith the perfect girl. Actually, I already found her. Fae, she's th
e perfect girl. Smart, pretty, intelligent and most of all she loves Keith and I
want you to help me to bring them together. Help Keith realize that Fae's the p
erfect girl for her.
Ian: Are you kidding me? Are you sick or something? Is it because of the chemo?
I know you had your chemo last week and maybe that's just a side effect.
Beige: Ian, I'm serious. Believe it or not. It may hurt but I want to leave Keit
h to girl who really loves her like I do. Martyr, maybe. If you don't want to he
lp me it's okay. I can do it by myself.
Keith: Help you with what?
Keith suddenly popped out of nowhere.
Beige: Nothing. Just a project. Ian, would you help me or not?
Keith: I can help you if you want.
Beige: No. It's okay. Ian?
Ian: Fine. Beige, you're one weird girl.
The morning bell rang.
Beige: Keith, Ian, I need to go. See you later!
Keith: See ya.
During lunch time I went to the Theater's Guild meeting.
Pia: Everyone, say hello to our director for the upcoming play. This is Beige. T
oday we'll know the role assignments for the play.
We sat in the table in the middle facing the stage of the auditorium.
Pia: I'd also be the director. We'll help each other in making this play great b
ecause the earnings for this play would be a great help for the guild. Are you o
kay with that?
Beige: No prob.
Pia: Ok. Let's start. Those on the right are the actors and on the left are the
ever reliable crew. Your first assignment is to find the faces to the characters
in the play.
Beige: Oh. Okay. Uhm. For the actors, please line up in one line and introduce y
ourselves.
They did as what I said.
Beige: When I call your name please step forward. Alexa, Faith, Andie, Warren, A
ngelo, Kelvin, Ralph, Francis and Arvin. For the others, you'd be the chorus. Do
n't complain about being the chorus because in this play they have most number o
f lines and they make the story complete. They are the life of the characters. F
or the chorus, you may now all leave the stage. I'll call you later. Here are th
e line up for the play Alexa you're Antigone. Faith, you'd be Ismene. Andie you
'd be Creon's wife, Eurydice. Warren, you'd be Creon. Angelo, you're Haemon. Kel
vin, you'd be Eteocles. Ralph, you'd be Polyneices. Francis, you'd be the guard.
Last but not the least Arvin you'd be the messenger and Teiresias. Any violent
reactions? Comments?
Everybody seems to be happy with their roles except for one.
Andie: I can't be Eurydice. I want to be Antigone. I'm perfect to play the role
of Antigone.
Beige: You want to be Antigone. Okay. Let's deal with it this way. Alexa and And
ie, repeat what I say but with feelings and then let's vote which one did it bet
ter. Is that okay?
They both agreed.
Beige: Repeat this. But leave me, and the folly that is mine alone, to suffer th
is dreading; for I shall suffer nothing so dreadful as an ignoble death. To help
you two, this is said by Antigone when she was saying to Ismene how she plans
to bury Polyneices. Again. But leave me, and the folly that is mine alone, to su
ffer this dreading; for I shall suffer nothing so dreadful as an ignoble death.
Go.
Andie came first then Alexa.
Beige: Okay let's vote.
Almost everyone voted for Alexa including Pia.
Beige: Any more violent reactions? None. Okay. I'll give the floor to Pia.
Whew! That was nerve racking.
Pia: Thank you Beige. Ian's right you're really great with these kind of things.
We never had a director like you.
Beige: I'm not. Trust me. Hehe.
Pia: Okay. Guys, Warren's distributing the scripts. Please memorize them. As you
all know, we're doing the adaptation of Antigone edited by Moses Hadas. We'll s
ee each other tomorrow lunch time again. Practices would be every lunch time and
after school. Okay. Meeting adjourned. Thank you for cooperating guys!
When I was about to about to go out, someone called me. It was Alexa.
Alexa: Beige!
Beige: Alexa! Why? Is there something wrong?
Alexa: I just want to thank you for picking me. I'd do everything to portray Ant
igone very well.
Beige: I knew you would that's why I picked you and I see Antigone in you.
Alexa: Thank you. It's just so cool. You know all of the lines for Antigone?
Beige: Hehe. I'm not bragging but yeah. Hehe.
Pia: Beige, can I have a word with you?
Beige: Uhm. Alexa..
Alexa: Oh. Sorry. I'd go ahead. Thank you talaga.
Beige: No problem.
I went to Pia.
Pia: Thank you for agreeing to be our director. I'm sure you'd be a great direct
or.
Beige: No more thank you's. I'm already full from all of the thank you's. Hehe.
Honestly, I'm just doing it to make myself busy but when I saw where it's leadin
g to I realized they need me and I need them also. And we're making this play on
e of the greatest play of this school.
I won't let them down. With few years to live I can't afford letting people down
.
CHAPTER 24
2 weeks passed. Those two busy weeks. Ian's right. It was a nice diversion. I ju
st poured out what I'm feeling in my directing. I also rarely see Keith now so i
t's somewhat less painful but I will not lie, I miss him.
Beige: Let's take it from the top one last time before we can go.
Alexa: Sister Ismene, my own dear sister, do you know of any ill, of all those b
equeathed by Oedipis, that Zeus does not fulfill for us two while we live?
While I was watching them act someone tapped me at the back. When I turned aroun
d, it was Keith.
Beige: O, Keith. What's up? Sorry. I've been busy these days so I can't hang out
that much.
Keith: Nothing much. I just uhm.. miss you that's all.
Beige: You want let's hangout. Let's watch a movie this Friday. Let's watch Ninj
a Assassin. Heard it was nice.
Keith: Ok. Sure.
The frown he was wearing awhile ago just turned into a big smile.
Andie: Ehem. How can I act if the director's flirting around?
Argh. This girl's getting on my nerves.
Beige: Excuse me. I'll just take care of something Keith. Andie, I happen to not
ice that you are not enunciating your lines well. People of Thebes, I heard your
words as I was forth to salute the goddess Pallas with my prayers. Like that. M
ind your acting not what I'm doing.
She wasn't able to speak. Napahiya. Haha.
Beige: Sorry Keith. I'm a bit busy. I'll just text you.
Keith: Ok.
After Keith left I called Ian.
Beige: Meet at Starbucks Katips near NBS later. 5:30 pm sharp.
5:30 this afternoon..
Ian: Beige! Is this really necessary? You're really weird. You know it would hur
t you but you'll still do it.
Beige: You agreed to it and you it's part of the things I need to do before, you
know, I kick the bucket.
Ian: Fine. So what's your first plan?
Beige: It's already in the process and all we need is the execution. Next friday
we'll watch a movie together. I already told Keith but what I didn't told him i
s that it would be you, me, Keith and Fae watching. It would be nice for them to
you know, be more closer and I'll even ask Keith to take Fae home.
Ian: And my job and is to help you execute things and make friday night more kil
ig and date-y type for them.
Beige: Exactly. That's what I like about you. You really get me.
Ian blushed.
Beige: Are you blushing?
Ian: Am not. Ok. I'll help you as I said. Oh, by the way. How are you? I mean wh
en it comes to your condition.
Beige: I'm coping up very well. My hair still intact. Hehe. But seriously, I can
manage it. My next chemo would be the day after the play. You can visit me if y
ou want since you're the only visitor I get.
Ian: Why don't you just--
Beige: Tell Keith. You know what's my answer to that Ian. I need to go. Still ne
ed to do some HWs.
Ian: On a friday night?
Beige: Yup. I'm not the party gal.
Ian: Oh. But does this not party gall want to eat? I mean I'm just hungry. It's
not a date don't worry.
Beige: Hehe. I know. Sure. I'm a bit hungry too. My treat.
Ian: No. My treat.
Beige: Let just split the bill in half. Hehe.
Ian: Fine.
I texted my Dad to ask permission and then we went to this bistro to eat.
Beige: One pesto pasta please and a glass of water.
Ian: One Chicken BBQ and a glass of iced tea please. Thank you.
After our order arrived, we just talked.
Ian: If I were in your position, I wouldn't know what to do.
Beige: Well, nandyan na yan eh and for a girl who had cancer who already, this i
s just another obstacle but what's different is that I'm likely to die than live
. It made me think about things. Since my life wasn't like it was. It became dif
ferent because of..
Ian: of Keith.
I began playing with my glass to swirl the ice inside.
Beige: Yes, Keith. Honestly, leaving him sounds like hell. It hurts. It hurts so
bad. Keith's my first love you know and as they say, first love never dies. The
re are many things I don't get when it comes to love and life as well but I just
take them as they are since it is true love is just a thing that's hard to expl
ain. There are lots of things you don't get.
Ian: I understand. It's hard to understand but it's a nice thing to feel. Hehe.
Then suddenly, a girl walked towards us and stopped in front of our table.
"Ian! I didn't know you're already here in the Philippines."
Ian's happy disposition suddenly changed.
Ian: Kim. I just decided to stay here for good that's all. How are you?
Kim: Fine. You?
Ian: The same. Uhm. How's Mike?
Kim: Fine. We're happy together. Your girlfriend?
She pointed at me.
Beige: I'm not.
Kim: Oh. Ok. Nice to see you by the way. We should have coffee sometime. I'll ju
st call you.
Kim left.
Beige: Let me guess, the ex-girlfriend who left you and after only a few months
found a guy who's you thinks a lot better than you.
He nodded.
Beige: I'm really good with these relationship things. Well, don't need to expou
nd more on your so called "story". Don't want anymore sad stories. My story's al
ready complicated.
He laughed. On the way home, Ian insisted to take me home but I refused. I just
want to walk alone tonight. Just have my quiet alone time. Think about things.
CHAPTER 25
Ian: Merry Christmas!
Beige: Ang aga naman. It's just the first day of December.
Ian: Don't be KJ. I know how it's so happy and exciting to spend Christmas here
so I'm excited. Oh by the way, have you thought of going to the Christmas ball?
Beige: Yup and I'm not going. It's just a waste of money and it's the day after,
you know.
Ian: Oh. Your chemo.
Beige: Sush! Don't be too loud. Yup. It's my third one. I already need to find a
wig. After my 4th or 5th chemo, my hair will start to fall off. I know it's sho
uld be earlier or later but in my case it's like that.
Ian: So sad. I was planning to go with you. Hehe.
Beige: Why not take Pia? If you want I'll ask her for you.
Ian: Nah. I'd rather go alone. It's more fun to get girls on the ball itself.
Beige: Ikaw talaga. But how would you know if a girl's beautiful if they're wear
ing masks?
Ian: Beauty is what's inside not outside.
Beige: Echos! Maniwala ako sayo. Haha. O, before I forgot. Later ah. 7 pm. I alr
eady talk to Fae and Keith.
In the cinema..
I was going through the plans for the presentation of the play tomorrow while I
was waiting for the others.
Keith: Beige!
I saw Keith. He was all smiles. It is as if he just won the jackpot. Weird. Hehe
. Then suddenly Ian arrives. Keith approached me but was wondering why I'm still
waving yet he's already in front of me.
Beige: Ian! Over here.
Ian: Good evening!
Beige: Good evening! You don't mind me inviting Ian, do you Keith?
Keith: No. It's okay. So let's go. Let's buy popcorn.
Beige: Wait. We're waiting for one more person.
Keith: Another person? Who?
Beige: There!
I pointed at Fae's direction.
Beige: Fae! Over here!
Keith's faced change a lot. He looks annoyed. He tried to hide it but happened t
o see it. After buying popcorn and drinks, we went inside the movie house. Just
in time. Hehe. We sat in chair in the right end. Keith wanted to sit beside me b
ut Ian got on the seat first. After Ian is Fae then Keith. He's annoyed now. Heh
e. I kept laughing while watching the movie. Not because of the movie but becaus
e of Ian. He kept making me laugh.
After the movie, Ian invited us to go to dinner. We went to this cutedinerstyle
restaurant.
Ian: I'm not much into diners but this one's different. We ate here when we deci
ded to go out for diner on the first day we got here and we loved going here sin
ce then.
We sat near the counter.
"Sir Ian! Kamusta? What's your order? Is it the usual?"
Ian: Hi Keira! Yup. The usual but add some tuna salad and a whole apple pie.
Keira: Spaghetti with meetballs, tuna salad and a whole apple pie. Is that all?
Ian: Guys, what do you want? Don't worry. My treat.
Beige: I'll have a club sandwich and some fries please.
Fae: I'll have a chicken breast sandwich with some fries also.
Keith: I'll have a bacon cheeseburger.
Keira: How about drinks?
Ian: I'll have iced tea.
Fae: Me too.
Beige: Just a glass of iced cold water.
Keith: I have lemonade.
Keira: Is that all?
Ian: Yup. Thanks Keira.
Beige: You didn't tell me you were rich. I could have you fetch me everyday inst
ead of walking to school. Hehe. Just joking.
While eating, we noticed they have this like open mic thing going on every night
at 10 pm.
Beige: Cool. They have the open mic thing.
Ian: Yup. It's start soon. You want to sing?
Beige: Sure but you go first. Hehe.
Ian: Fine.
When the open mic started, Ian sang first.
I'm in trouble
I'm an addict
I'm addicted to this girl
She's got my heart tied in a knot
And my stomach in a whirl
Because she's so
O-oh, o-oh, o-ooh
Rock 'n roll
And out of my league
Is she out of my league?
Let's hope not
Beige: Haha. Nice. My turn. Hehe.
It was my turn to sing.
You've got me wrapped around your little finger
If this is love
It's everything I hoped it would be
You've got me wrapped around your little finger
If this is love
It's been everything I'd be dreaming of
Beige: Fae, you sing next.
Fae: No. Sorry I don't sing.
Ian: Keith can sing with you.
Beige: Yeah. Sing together. Keith has a nice voice. Sige na Keith. Sing!
I winked at Ian. Nice job. Hehe. Suddenly, we were cheering for Fae and Keith. T
he rest of the people, even the ones we don't know also cheered.
Keith: Fine. Let's go.
One sweet kiss took away my breath
Then you drew me in with your tenderness
You captivate my soul, I'm enraptured
You knocked me out and you locked me up
Stole my heart like a thief at love
Hold me tight in your happy ever after
Beige: Woho! Go Fae and Keith!
Wow. I'd never thought I'd say this but.. they look good together. After having
fun, we decided to call it a night. I need to rest because tomorrow's a busy day
.
Keith: Hatid na kita.
Beige: No thanks. I'd rather go alone. Hatid mo na lang si Fae. Mas malapit yung
way niya sa house mo.
Keith: Ah. Eh. Okay.
Keith and Fae left first. I was about to go out of the restaurant when Ian tappe
d me at the back.
Ian: Hatid na kita.
Beige: No thanks.
Ian: I insist.
Beige: Fine. Let's go. It's getting late.

When we arrived in my house..
Beige: Thanks Ian. I know we only knew each other for a while but you're always
there for me. Thank you very much for putting up with this.
Ian: No prob. Just remember I'm always here for you. It's just I don't want to s
ee you beaten down or lose hope. Since I'm one of the ones who knew about your c
ondition, it's just somewhat my obligation to take care of you.
Beige: Thanks, Friend.
Ian: No problem, Friend. Hehe. I need to go. Good night. Sweet dreams.
Beige: Good night. Ingat.
Later that night, I decided to do something before I go to bed.
Before I kick the bucket I must..
1. Watch all of Audrey Hepburn's movies
3. See the most beautiful sunset
5. To visit the Museum of Tolerance
7. Give Dr. Lee a gift
9. Give away my things to the people I love
4 things left to do yet I'm still a bit unhappy. I cannot seem to held up my tea
rs when I'm crossing out the last one. Sometime I think I'm insane by pushing Fa
e to Keith but I'd rather see him with another girl rather than seeing him griev
ing and sad because of my condition and even my death.
CHAPTER 26
Ian: You sure you okay? Don't feel nauseous or something?
Beige: Don't worry Ian. I'm okay. I got a good rest after the chemo.
Ian: You sure?
Beige: Yes. I'm sure. Go take your seat.
Ian: Fine. Good luck on the play.
Beige: Thanks.
When Ian left Keith appeared with a bouquet of flowers.
Beige: Keith! Thanks for coming and for the flowers. How'd you know I love white
oriental lilies and french tulips? Hehe.
Keith: Just a wild guess. Uhm. I just want to ask if you're going to the ball?
Beige: Oh. No. Sorry. Why?
Keith: Nothing.
Beige: Why not ask Fae? You'd look good together.
Pia suddenly went in.
Pia: Beige, let's go. 3 minutes before the play starts.
Beige: Okay. Wait. Keith, I need to go. Thank you very much. I love it.
I kissed Keith on the cheeks but when I'm about to move he looked straight into
my eyes and kissed me on the lips. But then I pushed him.
Beige: What was that about?
Pia: Beige! Let's go.
Beige: Meet me outside after the play.
This is not good.
After the play..
Pia: Thanks for everything Beige. They loved the play.
Beige: I can't do it without all of you.
Pia: Let's go out and celebrate.
Beige: You guys go ahead. I'm a bit tired.
Pia: Fine. Next time okay?
Beige: Okay.
I went outside to get Keith.
Beige: What was that Keith?
Keith: It was a kiss.
Beige: I'm not dumb Keith. I know it was a kiss.
Keith: Manhid ka lang ba talaga o ano? I love you Beige. I've been trying tellin
g you for a long time now.
Keith tried to hug me but I pushed him.
Beige: No Keith. Don't say that. I can't.
I turned around for Keith him not to see my tears.
Beige: You like Fae, not me.
Keith: No. I like her but only as a friend. You are the one pushing me to her.
Beige: Because I thought you like her.
There's that lying version of me again.
Keith: No. I don't. I like you. I love you Beige.
Beige: Keith, it can be. We can't be together.
Keith: Why? Don't you love me?
Beige: Is not that.
Keith: Then what? Face me Beige.
I turned around with tears in my eyes.
Beige: Because.. I'm not ready yet. It's just that, there are lots of things goi
ng on right now. It's not the right time to be in a relationship.
Keith: I can wait.
Beige: Can you wait 5, 10, 20 years? Even a lifetime. Can you wait that long?
Keith: But I love you.
Beige: Just as I thought. You can't. Sometimes Keith, love is not enough.
I'm about to go when Keith stopped me by pulling my arm.
Keith: Hatid na kita.
Beige: No thanks. I can go home on my own.
Keith: I insist.
Beige: No Keith. I'd rather go home alone.
I immediately went straight to my room when I arrived.
Will our fate be different if I just said I loved him back? Maybe yes. Maybe not
. Maybe I'm the biggest loser and the dumbest person alive. But all I can do was
cry. I can't take back everything.
Then suddenly, someone knocked on my door. I immediately wiped my tears.
Dad: I heard you'd have this christmas ball. Just want to ask you if you're goin
g to it?
Beige: That one. I'm not really sure. Maybe. Maybe not.
Dad: Has Ian or Keith asked you?
Beige: Yeah.. but it's complicated.
My Dad's face suddenly changed.
Beige: Dad, is there something wrong?
Dad: No. I just that before you just my little princess now, your all grown up.
You even taught me how to cook and I thank you for that. Thank you for everythin
g.
Beige: I should be the one thanking you.
Dad: If I can take your illness and put it on me I would.
Beige: Dad, don't cry. Don't say that. I'm ready for what's going to happen and
you should too.
CHAPTER 27
Everything suddenly changed after the incident between Keith and I. I just decid
ed to distant myself. It's hard to pretend you love someone when you don't but i
t's harder to pretend that you don't love someone when you really do. I will mis
s everything but I will risk the thing we had just for Keith not to feel pain.
Ian: What's the name of Kabesang Tales' father in El Fili?
I was walking with Ian one morning to our first class when I saw Keith going to
the opposite direction. Our eyes suddenly met but I immediately faced Ian.
Beige: Sorry. What were you saying awhile ago?
Ian: I was asking you what's the name of Kabesang Tales' father in El Fili?
Beige: Tandang Selo. Why?
Ian: We're having this quiz later in El Fili. You're not listening to me. Keith
passed by kasi ano? I know I'd been saying this for the trillionth time all read
y but why can't you tell him to that you love him back and about your condition?
Beige: If you'd been telling that to me for the trillionth time then you know th
e answer. Hay.. Ian. It's not that easy to be in my place right now. Maiwan na k
ita diyan. I'm already late for PE.
I just hate Thursdays. First subject PE and I hate PE. What's worse is that I sh
are P.E. with Keith. I love Ms. Frances, our PE teacher but man! I just hate the
subject. I suck at sports.
Ms. Frances: Okay. Today we'll play Futsal. Girls vs Boys!
Sports. WAH! I rather dance. Anyways, we played the game. The score is a tie 9-9
. The game was raise to 10.
Cyan: Give you best kick Alonzo.
That's Cyan. He really calls people by their last names. Aside from Keith, he's
the star player of our so called "game". I was about to kick when everything I s
ee suddenly looks like it was spinning. I felt dizzy and eventually fainted.
Meanwhile..
Ms. Frances: Stop the game! Is she alright? Clinic! Call the clinic!
Keith: No. I'll just carry her to the clinic.
I woke up with Dr. Lilac on my side.
Dr. Lilac: Are you feeling better Beige?
Beige: Yup. Thank you. I fainted again didn't I?
Dr. Lilac: Yes. You are really one stubborn kid. You're having your chemo sessio
n yet you're doing such activities. So what is it this time?
Beige: Brain cancer. It's just a few months of chemo Dr. Lilac.
Dr. Lilac: That's not all. I can see in your face that's there's something more
than having brain cancer.
Beige: 5 years to live. Well, almost 4 and a half years to live.
Dr. Lilac: I'm sorry.
Beige: Don't be. You know how life is.
Dr. Lilac: Oh. The guy who took you here is waiting outside.
Dr. Lilac is about to go when..
Beige: Wait. Did you tell the guy about what you suspect about what happened awh
ile ago?
Dr. Lilac: No. Don't worry. I didn't tell anyone. I know you like telling people
yourself. Again, I would say this to you. Odd as it may seem, I admire you Beig
e. You're one of the strongest person I know.
Beige: Thank you.
Keith: Beige?
Keith suddenly appeared.
Dr. Lilac: I'll leave you first. Just rest and you can go back to class after lu
nch.
Dr. Lilac left.
Keith: Are you now okay?
He sat on the chair beside my bed.
Beige: Yup. Uhm. By the way, thanks for bringing me here.
Keith: No prob.
Then there was silence.
Keith: I know this is not the right time but.. are you sure that we can't be tog
ether?
I nodded.
Keith: Why? Is it because you don't love me?
Beige: As I said, I cant right now.
Keith: Is it because of Ian?
Beige: Ian and I? No. We're just friends. I know we're really close these days b
ut we're just friends. What made you think that?
Keith: 'Cause your so called friend is already here. Just like a knight and shin
ning armor.
Ian appeared looking all worried. Suddenly, I can feel bitterness and jealousy i
n the way Keith was talking. Only if you knew Keith. Only if you knew.
Beige: Well, I'm not a damsel in distress.
I whispered to Keith.
Ian: Beige! Are you okay? I heard what happened to you.
CHAPTER 28
Beige: Don't worry. I'm okay.
Keith: I should go. Nakakabala ata ako sa inyo.
Beige: No. Stay. Di ka nakakaabala. Ian, thank you for checking up on me.
Ian: No problem.
Then there was awkward silence. HAHA.
Ian: Uhm.. I'm having this party in my house on the 27th. Somewhat a late christ
mas party and an advance new year's party. You and Keith should go.
Beige: I'm not sure.
Ian: Beige.. di ka nga nga pupunta sa Christmas ball eh. Sige na.
Beige: Fine. I'll go if Keith comes.
Keith: I'll come.
Ian: There. See you there okay. Got to go.
Beige: Hehe. Bye. Thanks again.
Ian left.
Beige: Ian talaga. Hehe. He's just so jolly and energetic.
Keith: Why did you tell Ian that you'll go if I go?
Beige: I may not love you like you want me to but I still love you as a friend,
as a best friend. You know Keith that you are my first ever friend. No one and n
othing can ever change that.
He smiled.
Beige: You finally smiled. Hehe. Help me get up. I'm hungry already.
Keith: No. I'll just bring you food.
Beige: I can do it. I'll just go to the cafe. Help me.
Keith: Fine.
I stood up even though I'm still weak. Good thing Keith's here to help me. I put
my hand over his shoulder and we went to the cafe.
Keith: What do you want to eat? I'll get it for you.
Beige: I'll do it myself.
Keith: It's just over there I'll do it okay.
Beige: Hehe. Thanks. It's Macaroni and Cheese with garlic bread.
Keith: How about drinks?
Beige: Just water.
Keith: Okay.
After getting food Keith and I ate together.
Beige: Christmas is nearing. They already have christmas decors.
Keith: Yup. I just love the christmas season.
Beige: Me too. I love the cold weather.
Keith: What's with the medicine? Is there anything wrong with you?
Keith saw me taking my painkillers.
Beige: Oh these? Uhm.. It's just for my uhm.. migraines. I getting migraines now
a days. Uhm.. About Fae, I'm not pushing you to her but I would be very very ha
ppy if you guys would be together. It's just that you two look good together.
Keith's reaction suddenly changed.
Beige: Fine. I'll shut up.
"Beige Alonzo! Is Beige Alonzo here?"
A man in a Santa costume is calling me.
Beige: Here!
"Santa" went to our table.
Santa: Two candy canes for Beige Alonzo.
Beige: Thank you.
Oh. I forgot we have this candy cane for a cause things based on the Mean Girls
movie where you buy candy canes for your friends and this big santa would give i
t personally to you. The proceeds would to this orphanage the school's sponsorin
g. I remember sending Ian one and also Keith but I put anonymous in Keith's card
. After getting it, I immediately placed the two candy canes in my bag.
Beige: Keith, I got to go. I'm okay now don't worry.
Keith: You sure?
Beige: I'm sure.
I went straight to my next class after changing my clothes. As I was fixing my b
ag, I saw my candy canes. It was from Keith and Ian. I'm happy that Keith and I
are in good terms again already but it's still sad that I still can't love him b
ack.
CHAPTER 29
I saw myself buying gifts christmas gifts for my friends and Dad. It's a bit lat
e but I still have time later to wrap these. While in the mall, I decided to loo
k for wigs. Sadly, my hair is starting fall out. I decided to buy this one. It's
quite expensive because it really sticks to your head like you it's your real h
air and it's actually made of real human hair.
I was going out of the store when I bumped into Keith.
Beige: Keith! What are you doing here?
Keith: Just buying gifts. Last minute shopping. You know since our school christ
mas party is already tomorrow. You? Wait. What are you doing in a wig store?
Beige: Oh. Uhm. I bought a wig. Uhm. Pia needed a blonde wig for their next play
. I said I'll just buy it for them as christmas gift. Oh. Thanks for the candy c
ane.
Keith: Oh. No prob. Uhm. You want to eat?
Beige: Sure.
We went to the restaurant we ate when he saw me and he was with his sister.
Keith: This is the restaurant where I saw you when I was with my sister.
Beige: You remember.
Keith: Hehe. What do you want to order?
Beige: The usual. Pasta puttanesca and a slice of strawberry cheesecake.
Keith ordered pesto pasta and blueberry cheesecake and I ordered the usual.
Keith: So.. what are you going to do this christmas break?
Beige: Nothing much. Sa bahay lang.
I lied again. What do you want to me to tell him? I will have my chemo the day a
fter tomorrow and gonna stay there for almost the whole christmas break.
Keith: If you want let's go out. I mean as friends. Don't worry.
Beige: When?
Keith: The day after tomorrow.
Beige: Can we reschedule it? I forgot we'll attend something on that day. Maybe
Jan 2?
Keith: Jan 2? Matagal pa yun ah.
Beige: Di naman masyado. Sorry talaga.
Keith: It's okay. Jan 2. I'll just text you. Uhm. Let's go. Hatid na kita.
Beige: No thanks. I'll go alone.
Keith: Sige na.
Beige: No. It's okay. I can manage. Thanks for the dinner. See you soon.
Keith: See you soon.
Before going home I decided to look through the boutiques first. Then I saw this
boutique with lots of beautiful gowns. Then I saw this gown. It's so nice and i
t's what? 70% off. 1000 pesos na lang. Too bad I wouldn't go to the ball. I don'
t have any occasion to wear the gown if ever I buy it. Well, whatdaheck. It's 70
% off so I bought it. HAHA.
Saan ko naman 'to gagamitin? Well.. Sa ball pwede pero di ako pupunta.Wait. Baki
t di na lang kaya ako pumunta dun sa ball?
CHAPTER 30
Dad: Are you all ready?
Beige: Yup.
Dad: Your things? Are they enough for our stay in the hospital?
Beige: Yup Dad. Everything's ready don't worry. Uhm. Sorry Dad. We needed to cel
ebrate christmas in the hospital because of me.
Dad: It's okay. Don't worry about me.
It's just sad that we'll celebrate christmas in the hospital because of my chemo
. It's still about a week before Christmas but I still need to stay for about 2-
3 weeks after my chemo. Dr. Lee said I'm not responding well to the chemos and t
he radio therapies. I'm still getting worse.
The day after my chemo, I decided to go out. I know know I shouldn't have gone o
ut because I'm still weak, but you know how I hate the smell of hospitals so I d
ecided put on my cardigan and walk outside the garden. I'm to lazy to wear my wi
g so I just decided to put on a scarf. Anyways, since it was early in the mornin
g not a lot of the people are in the garden. I sat down the bench and just close
d my eyes. Then suddenly I heard something screeched. I opened my eyes to see so
meone sat beside me. I opened my eyes to see a doctor seated beside me.
Dr. Eduard Tan, his name tags says.
Dr. Eduard: Uhm. Sorry to disturb you. I just wanted to sit here.
Beige: It's okay don't worry.
He was drinking coffee and looking all worried.
Dr. Eduard: It's early in the morning why are you here?
Beige: Just getting some fresh air.
Dr. Eduard: Why, it's cold. You'll get sick if you stay any longer.
Beige: I should say the same thing to you.
Dr. Eduard: You want me to lend you my jacket?
I stood up and walked back and forth in the garden.
Beige: No thanks. Sometimes, it's nice to be out in the cold. It makes me feel
numb. I don't feel anything. I don't feel the pain. It is as if the cold wind nu
mbs me from feeling, just like what an ice would do to a sprain. Hehe. Sorry 'bo
ut that. I tend to talk a lot these days.
Dr. Eduard: It's okay.
I sat again beside him on the bench.
Beige: Dr. Eduard Tan. You're new. I haven't seen you here before.
Dr. Eduard: Just started a month ago.
Beige: I stayed here for a months before going to the states. So I know most of
the people here. So I'm sure you're new.
Dr. Eduard: So you knew my brother? Dr. Heath Tan.
Beige: The one who like Dr. Bianca but never admitted it. He only admitted it wh
en I told him that Dr. Bianca liked him too, which is the truth. They liked each
other but they just didn't realize it. Hehe. So you were the brother he was tal
king about. The one who for some reason liked playing house when you were little
. Hehe.
Dr. Eduard: He told you that one?
Beige: We've been close when I was here. He's my doctor together with Dr. Lee.
Dr. Eduard: He's the reason why I entered this field.
Beige: That's nice. I believe you'll also be a good doctor like Dr. Heath.
I smiled at him and stood up.
Beige: Sorry. I can't stay any longer. My tummy's telling me it's time to eat. H
ehe.
Dr. Eduard: Wait.
Beige: What is it Dr. Eduard?
Dr. Eduard: Uhm. I just want someone to talk to. I can buy you breakfast if you
want. Don't worry. I don't bite. As I said, I just want to someone to talk too.
Beige: It's okay. Now a days, I'm feeling I'm this therapist everybody's talking
to about something. That's why a lot people are saying I tend to be more mature
than my age. Hehe. Let's go.
We ate in the food court in the 3rd floor. I don't like the smell of hospitals b
ut I sure do love the food court of this hospital. It's 24 hours open. We ordere
d and ate after. After eating, we decided to walk around the hospital.
Beige: So what do you want to talk about?
Dr. Eduard: Are you afraid of dying?
Beige: Honestly, I do. I know like pain, death is inevitable but I'm just afraid
to leave all the people I love. I know more than 4 years from now, I'll have to
face it. If I can bring all my love ones to where I'll be going I would. But th
at would be selfish. I think I know why are you asking me that question.
Dr. Eduard: You do?
Beige: You see that doctor. The one with the dark rimmed glasses.
Dr. Eduard: Dr. Jordan?
Beige: So you know him. But do you know about the story of him and the girl name
d Chloe?
Dr. Eduard: No. What's with Dr. Jordan and Chloe?
Beige: Dr. Jordan was just as young you when he encountered Chloe. Chloe was Dr.
Jordan's first long time patient. Dr. Jordan even became really close to her. C
hloe had heart cancer. Dr. Jordan promised her he'll cure her. He really wanted
Chloe to get well. Maybe it was pity, kindness or maybe it was love that made Dr
. Jordan want to help Chloe. But eventually, Chloe's time came. It was when Dr.
Jordan was operating Chloe's heart. After that, Dr. Jordan wasn't able to come b
ack here for about 2 months. He suddenly disappeared. Chloe was the first person
who died in Dr. Jordan's hands.
Then I suddenly heard someone crying. When I turned, it was Dr. Eduard.
Dr. Eduard: You're probably thinking I'm a sissy, a coward or even gay.
Beige: No. I don't. Crying is not a sign of weakness. But crying and crying with
out doing anything besides it, now, that is a sign of weakness and being a cowar
d. Am right am I? You're just like Dr. Jordan.
He wiped his tears.
Dr. Eduard: It was an accident victim. Nica was her name as I can remember. The
very first person that died under my hands. She just died 2 weeks ago. Her death
makes me want to leave this profession.
We stopped in front of the room and opened it. There was a guy maybe as age as m
e with tubes on his mouth.
Dr. Eduard: And I'm afraid Vito here would have the same faith.
Beige: Don't be afraid. Just do your best. If it's his time then it is his time.
Remember death is inevitable. Hindi mo kasalanang namatay si Nica. Don't stop b
eing a doctor. You'll have more patient who'll get well quickly than die remembe
r that.
I decided to go back to my room after that. Dr. Eduard thanked me for giving him
my time and decided to go home to think things over.
Dad: Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you.
Beige: Don't worry Dad. I just took a walk. You know naman how I hate the hospit
al.
The next day..
Ian was my first visitor that day.
Beige: Ian!
Ian: Flowers for you.
He gave me a bouquet of tulips which are actually chocolates.
Beige: So cute. I'll eat them later. Thanks.
Ian: Are you feeling well?
Beige: A little weak but better. How's Keith?
Ian: I knew you'd ask that. He's okay. I saw him in the mall when I was buying t
he tulip chocolates and he seemed okay.
Then suddenly, someone knocked on my door. It was Dr. Eduard.
Dr. Eduard: Is it okay if I come in? I'm not bothering you am I?
Beige: No. Sure. Dr. Eduard this is my friend Ian. Ian, this is Dr. Eduard.
Ian: Nice to meet you.
Dr. Eduard: Nice to meet you. Flowers for you. Heard stargazers were your favori
te.
He gave me a bouquet of stargazers with roses. Stargazers are my favorite.
Beige: Thanks. But what are these for?
Dr. Eduard: For helping me realize something and about what happened yesterday m
orning.
Beige: It was nothing. I'm always glad to help. Vito would get better. I know it
. You are a good doctor remember that.
Dr. Eduard: I'd better be going. See you around.. Wait. I wasn't able to get you
r name.
Beige: Hehe. It's Beige. Thanks again.
Dr. Eduard left.
Ian: What was that all about? A doctor giving you flower? Isn't he too old for y
ou?
Beige: Ohh shut up! As he said, he gave me flowers to thank me.
Ian: Thank you? For what?
Beige: It's a long story.
Ian: Fine don't tell me. Hehe. I need to go. I just checked if you were okay. As
always. Hehe. I'll just visit again some other time.
Meanwhile..
Keith: Ian! What are you doing here? Who are you visiting here?
Keith opened the door to see Beige lying in the bed.
Keith: Why is Beige here?
Ian: Sush! Beige would know you're here. Let's go.
Keith followed Ian.
Ian: Why are you here?
Keith: I just needed to give someone something. Why is she in the hospital? Is t
here something wrong? Why didn't she tell me she was here? I called her today bu
t she didn't answer. I'm getting worried. I know I shouldn't be but my gut is te
lling me there's something wrong. She's frequently fainting and looks paler ever
yday. I also saw her in a wig store the other day.
Ian: You shouldn't be here. She'll get worried if she knew you're here.
Keith: I just want to know why is she here?
Ian: You really want to know? The symptoms are there all laid out. You just need
to figure things out. It already happened to your past girlfriend yet you still
haven't notice. I did.
Keith: Don't tell me she has..
Ian: You asked and I answered. Gusto mo talagang malaman eh. I told to Beige I w
ould not lie if this day comes. She has brain cancer Keith. That's why she's pu
shing you to Fae. She's been struggling for a few months now. She just doesn't w
ant to tell me because she loves you very much. She doesn't want to hurt you. R
emember, last sem break when you asked her to come with you to the province. She
just had her first chemo that day that's why she said she'll just go later. Eve
n though she's still weak, she still went there because she loves you. I know y
ou're jealous of me. Don't be because right from the start, I knew she loved you
Keith. Only you.
Keith: I don't believe you.
Ian: Then don't. I'm not forcing you. I know I'm not in the right place to say t
hese things to you. I know that but I just think you have the right to know this
. You love her and she loves you. You know that.
CHAPTER 31
I decide to go out once again to the garden after sleeping for about 3 hours str
aight that afternoon. Again, I'm too lazy to put on my wig so I just put on my s
carf. Outside, I suddenly saw a guitar. No one seem to own it, so I decided to p
lay it. I'm just borrowing for a while. I'm not stealing it. Hehe.
Everyday I, find I am looking for me
And these unfinished lives
Every movement and emotion settles my heart
It is paralyzing
Maybe I am crazy
I say there is a better way
And these waves come crashing on my shore
I will not be moved 'cause I know who I am
When the stars all go home
I won't fight to be known
I will listen for your voice
That calls me home
Meanwhile..
"Is my bother going to be okay?"
Dr. Eduard: We're not still sure Ms. Jaz. But his body is responding well to the
operation. There's a 80% chance that he'll get well.
Ms. Jaz: Please do everything to save my brother.
Dr. Eduard: We're doing everything to save your brother but all we have to do is
wait.
They were talking when Vito's hand suddenly moved. He opened his eyes and finall
y, talked.
Vito: That voice? Where's that voice coming from?
Ms. Jaz: Vito! Thank God. What are you saying? It's only Dr. Eduard and I in thi
s room.
Vito: Not that. There's someone singing. Listen.
When the stars all go home
I won't fight to be known
I will listen for your voice
That calls me home
He stood up, took of the tubes attached to him and went to the direction of the
voice singing. But when he got there, all that he saw was a key chain
Back to Beige..
I placed back the guitar and went to tour the hospital again.
Beige: Good evening Nurse Arlene!
Nurse Arlene: Good evening Beige! Oh, someone's looking for you.
Beige: Looking for me?
Nurse Arlene: Well, sorta. Because there a guy who is looking for the owner of a
key, key chain. He showed me the key chain and I remember that, that key chain
was yours. It was the key chain given to you by your grandmother. The gold one w
ith diamonds in it.
Beige: How did that happen? It's here in my pocket.. wait, it's not here. I must
have left it in the garden a while ago. Where's the key chain?
Nurse Arlene: It's with the guy who got it.
Beige: Where is he?
Nurse Arlene: Room 1408. The room at the end of your floor.
Beige: Ok. Thanks Nurse Arlene!
I went to the room where the said "guy" who got my key chain is in. I knocked an
d went inside. Inside, I saw Dr. Eduard, a woman who's as age as Dr. Eduard and
a guy who's about as age as me lying on the bed.
Beige: Uhm. Good evening Dr. Eduard.
Dr. Eduard: Beige! Why are you here?
Beige: Nurse Arlene said that a guy got my key chain and that guy is in this roo
m. Room 1408.
"It was me."
"Vito, don't move. You'll strain yourself."
Vito: It's okay Ate Jaz.
Beige: No. I'll just go over there. By the way, I'm Beige.
Vito: I'm Vito. Sorry, here's your key chain. You left it in the garden.
Beige: Thank you but how come this got in your possession?
He suddenly blushed.
Vito: I heard your voice and I thought your voice was so lovely so I went out to
see who was singing. When I got there, all I saw was a key chain.
Beige: O--kay. Hehe.
That made me also blush for a little bit so I changed the topic.
Beige: You see Dr. Eduard. You are a good doctor. Vito here got well.
Dr. Eduard: He didn't got well because of me but because of your voice.
Beige: You're being too humble. Hehe.
"Well, Dr. Eduard's right. By the way, I'm Jaz. Vito's sister. When Vito heard y
our voice, he suddenly woke up. He'd been unconscious for about a week."
Beige: Well, I don't know what to say. Hehe. God just used me so don't thank me.
Wait. What time is it?
Dr. Eduard: 7:00?
Beige: It's time for me too eat and take my medicines. Sorry but I need to go. T
hanks again Vito. See you around.
I went out and went back to my room.
The next day..
Ian: Good morning!
Beige: Ang aga aga nandito ka na ha.
Ian: I went early because today's the day!
Beige: What day?
Ian: The day of the christmas ball. So sad you're not going.
If you only knew, Ian. If you only knew. HAHA.
Beige: Balitaan mo na lang ako when you visit me again.
Ian: Sorry but I need to go. Promise tomorrow I'll stay a little longer.
Beige: It's okay. It's already enough that your visiting me almost everyday. Heh
e.
Ian said goodbye and my Dad left for his work. I really don't obligate him to ta
ke a leave of absence just for me. I'm okay here there's a lot of doctors so no
need to worry . Hehe. When I was watching TV, I suddenly heard someone knocked.
Beige: Come in.
It was Vito, the guy from yesterday.
Beige: What brings you here?
Vito: Uhm. I just..
Beige: Well, never mind. It's okay. Have a sit. I'm always happy to have a visit
or.
Vito: Thank you.
Beige: So why are you here? I mean here in the hospital.
Vito: I was diagnosed with a heart problem. They said I would only have 5 months
to live if I don't go under a surgery. But thank God, Dr. Eduard said that I re
sponded well to the surgery and will now be able to live as long as I like. Hehe
.
Beige: I'm happy for you.
Vito: How about you?
Beige: Promise me na hindi ka maaawa sa akin when I tell you.
Vito: I promise.
Beige: Well, I'm here because I'm getting worse. As you can see my hair's alread
y falling out so I need to wear this. I just had my chemo a few days ago. It's b
een a few months since I was diagnosed with brain cancer. You're luckypa nga eh.
One surgery can cure you but me? No. I only have about 5 years. Well, enough ab
out that. What brings you here? Wait. Let me guess. You want someone to talk to.
I'm getting that a lot of these days. Hehe.
Vito: Something like that. Hehe. I'm getting bored. My sister left me and I don'
t know what do.
Beige: It's okay. I get bored also. Let's go. Let's do something fun.
I fixed my scarf and we toured around the hospital.
Vito: I bet you're already tired being asked how does it feel to be dying or are
you afraid to die.
Beige: Sinabi mo pa. Death's inevitable what can I do? But I'm just afraid I'm g
oing to leave everyone. That's all. Sit and I'll push you.
We arrived in the playground in the rooftop.
Vito: No. You're too weak. I'll do it.
Beige: Para walang away, we're both too weak. Let's just sit there on the seesaw
.
So we did.
Vito: So how long are you staying here?
Beige: A few weeks maybe. I'd be going home next year pa. Mga January.
Vito: Hindi ba malungkot yun? You'll spend christmas and new year here.
Beige: Not really. I'm somewhat used to it. I had colon cancer few years ago and
needed to spend mostly all of the holidays in a hospital bed. My life's so mise
rable right?
Vito: Sorry.
Beige: Don't be. I said don't pity me. I'm used to everything already. Chemos, r
aditotheraphy, everything maybe not the smell of hospitals. But you get my point
.
We decided to go back to our rooms after talking for a while. I'm happy I helped
a person to not be bored. Hehe.
The next day..
The day of the ball. I'm nervous but I got ready. Put on my outfit, put on my wi
g and put on some make-up. I know I shouldn't be doing this. You know, going out
during the night without my father's consent but I know my Dad wouldn't allow m
e if I ask him. Saan ka nakakitang tumatakas sa isang hospital na nakagown? Hehe
.
I arrived at the hotel early but there's already a lot of people. I'm nervous. I
'm nervous for what will happen tonight. It's like pre-Keith all over again. I'm
just a nameless person lurking around.
CHAPTER 32
I walked to observe the people and also to see who came. I saw lots of people li
ke Fae, Pia, Francis and the rest of the Antigone play people. I'm happy they ar
e having fun. Mababaw akong tao. When I see people happy, I become happy.
I ate dinner there and after while, I decided to look around. While I was lookin
g around something tripped me. Good thing someone caught me. I fell into his arm
s and when I looked up it is as the whole world suddenly stops. Our eyes met. I
know it's a cliche but it really happened. When I looked at the eyes of the guy
I was surprised who it is.. Keith. I can't forgot those beautiful hazel eyes. I
turned away so that he'll not recognize me. I know we are in our masks but we'll
never know. Eyes can tell lots of things.
Beige: Thank you. You may now let go of me. I can handle it on my own.
Keith: Oh sorry. Are you okay?
Beige: Yup. I'm okay. Thank you again.
And I went back to my walking. When I was walking by the bar (it has no alcoholi
c drink but we still call it a bar. Haha.) I felt someone suddenly grabbed my be
hind.
Beige: WTH! What was that for?
I recognized the one who grabbed and squeezed my behind. It was Laurence. The sc
hool's resident perv. You can recognize it's him because he's the only one in th
e school who does that publicly without fear or anything. I was about to punch h
im when Keith punched him ahead of me.
Keith: Loko pala 'to eh. Ganda ng trip mo rin eh noh 'tol.
Laurence was about to punch Keith when I kicked his weak spot (the one in the bo
ttom part. HAHA) Keith would attack him again but I said..
Beige: Leave it. Nakaganti na naman ako.
I went straight to the bar.
Beige: One glass of ice tea please. Yung maraming yelo.
I drank all the contents of the glass. Hinayblood ako dun. Haha.
Beige: Thanks again.
Keith: No prob.
Beige: You'd been a great help tonight. What can I do to repay you?
Keith: No it's okay.
Beige: Sige na. I'll do anything.
Keith: Uhm.. A dance maybe.
Beige: A dance it is.
And if i lived a thousand years you know
Id never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you that day
But if destiny decided I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you tonight
We just danced and talked. It is as if tonight's not ending and it is as if we h
ave our own world.
Keith: I know it's a masquerade ball and it's supposed to be a secret but I'm Ke
ith. Weird. I don't feel awkwardness around you. Do I know you or have we met? '
Cause it is as if I feel that I know you.
Beige: Uhm. No. I know who you are. Keith Ramos right? The one who's always with
Beige, the director of the Antigone play. I know you but we never been classmat
es.
Keith: Ohh. What's your name? If you don't mind me asking.
Beige: Uhm. Ivy. My name's Ivy.
Well, there's my nose again surpassing my old record of it being as long as the
Golden Gate bridge.
Beige: I know you and Beige are close but don't mind also for asking, where is s
he?
Keith: Uhm.. She said she's busy and does not go to things like this.
Beige: Ohh. What's with the sad face?
Keith: Oh it's nothing. Let's change the topic. Can I ask you something?
Beige: Sure.
Keith: I just don't get it why girls say they can't love a guy because they are
not ready even if she somewhat admitted she loves the guy.
Beige: When a girl says she's not ready, most of the time she is not really read
y. Not ready to fall in love and even to feel pain because of love. When you fal
l in love, it is like when gamble. You don't know if you'll win or not. I see sh
e admitted that she loved the guy but sometimes love is not always enough. She m
ay have other reasons. Maybe she's just thinking about what's good for you. Just
like a parent does to his/her child.
I saw Keith is staring blankly into space.
Beige: Hello? Keith? Are you listening?
Keith: Oh sorry. I just remember someone and you are very much like her. She als
o told me that love is not always enough.

I check my watch to see that it's already 12:30. I need to get back to the hospi
tal by 1:00. My Dad will come home by 1:00 am because he had to fix something. I
feel like I'm Cinderella and it had just struck 12. Haha.
Beige: Keith, sorry but I need to go.
Keith: Can you stay for a while?
Beige: Sorry but I can't.
Keith: Gusto mo ihatid kita sa inyo?
Beige: No thanks.
Keith: I insist. Delikado sa daan.
Beige: It's okay. I can manage on my own.
Keith accompanied me all up to the door and waved goodbye. If only I can tell yo
u it was me Keith. I would have tell you it was a fun and beautiful night. I rod
e a taxi and run to my room. I quickly got cleaned up and went straight to bed.
Good thing I was already in my bed when my Dad arrived
CHAPTER 33
Dad: Wake up sleepy head. It's already lunch time.
Beige: Lunch time?
Dad: Yup. You heard that right. You must have had a good sleep. But that's okay
you need plenty of rest.
The truth is I slept about about 3 or 4 am. I can't seem to sleep. What happened
last night between Keith and I kept playing in my head. It's like a clip or a m
ovie that I can't seem to pause or stop.
Dad: I already ordered food and had it delivered here. Just wait for it. Oh by t
he way, the decors are there as you asked me to and I'm on my way to buy our foo
d. What do you want?
Beige: I just want a brazo de mercedes cake roll and the rest is up to you. Hehe
. Thanks Dad.
I stood up and hugged my Dad.
Beige: Thanks Dad. Thanks for everything.
After Dad left, the food arrived and I ate. After eating, I fixed myself and sta
rted decorating my room. I have the tendency of decorating my room when there ar
e occasions. It's christmas eve and I'm decorating my room with a small christma
s tree and some small parols. When I was decorating, Ian arrived.
Beige: Got a big hangover from the after party? Hehe. Merry Christmas Ian.
I gave him my gift.
Ian: Thanks. Merry Christmas! Sorry I haven't had time to get a nice decent gift
but I bought you cupcakes.
Beige: It's okay. Thank you. Have a seat.
Ian: Thanks. What's with the decoration?
Beige: It's christmas eve. Christmas decorations are desperately needed. Hehe.
I was fixing somewhat when I fell from the chair that I was stepping on. Good th
ing Ian was there to catch me.
Beige: Thank you. I didn't know you have a good reflex. Hehe. Ian? Uhm. You can
know put me down.
Ian: Oh. Sorry.
He put me down and I put the last piece of decoration.
Beige: Finally. I'm done. Oh, before I forgot. I need to ask you a favor. Can yo
u please give this to Keith? It's my christmas present.
Ian: Sure. No prob.
Beige: Thanks. So how's the planning of your party?
Ian: Fine. It's going to be a blast. I expect you to be there.
Beige: Well, Ian there's a bit of a problem.
Ian: Why?
Beige: I can't go.
Ian: You said before you'll go.
Beige: I know, but it happens it would be the day of my chemo. Doctor Lee said I
'm getting worse so I need more chemos.
Ian: Fine, I understand. Oh, I forgot my Mom asked me to buy pizza for the noche
buena later. I need to go.
Beige: It's okay.
I showed him to the door.
Beige: Thanks for visiting. Merry Christmas!
Ian: Merry Christmas!
I hugged him.
Beige: What's with the face? Is it your first time to be hugged by a girl?
Ian: Hindi ah.
Beige: I'm just joking.
Suddenly, I saw someone in the end of the hall who looks exactly like Keith.
Beige: Keith?
Then the person disappeared.
Ian: Why? What's the matter?
Beige: I think I saw Keith. Maybe I was just delusional since I haven't seen Kei
th for a while. Never mind. Anyways, be careful. Don't eat to much.
Ian: You too. Hehe. I'll get going.
Beige: Bye!
I went inside to get some rest.
Meanwhile..
Ian went to the place Keith was hiding.
Ian: She already saw you. Why hide?
Keith: I don't want her to see me this way.
Ian: You don't want her to see you looking all sad and drunk. Well you're sober
now but you get my point. Man, you two are stubborn. Oh before I forget, she ask
ed me to give you this.
Keith opened the box to see an antique pocket watch with something inscribed in
it.
Keith: Un jour, j'espre que nous pourrions tre ensemble.
Ian: One day, I hope we could be together.
Keith: What?
Ian: That's what it means. "One day, I hope we could be together."
Keith wasn't able to talk for a while.
Keith: Could you give this to her? It's my gift. But please give it to her on Ja
nuary 2. No matter what happens on January 2, find her immediately and give this
to her.
Keith immediately left.
Back to Beige..
Time goes by so fast and I can't seem to keep up with it's phase no matter what
I do. A year had already passed. A year full of happy and sad memories. The same
year I met Keith, the guy who changed my life but made it even more complicated
. But he's not the only one that changed my life this year. Brain cancer did. W
ith a life sentence of 5 years. Well, now 4 years and 6 months to live. The year
had also change my physical appearance. Without the makeup and the wig, you'll
see my true self. I'm now thinner and paler with almost no hair. Do I ever wish
that, that year never came? Honestly, yes but without that year I wouldn't have
met Keith.
Beige: Good morning Dad.
Dad: You look excited at bihis na bihis ka pa.
Beige: Just going to the park and it's already 2010. New life. So why would I be
sad?
Dad: Hehe. Have a seat and eat your breakfast already.
Since I taught Dad how to cook and since I've grown a little weaker than before,
Dad is now the one who's cooking and doing the chores in our house. After eatin
g, I went to the place Keith told me to wait. It's January 2 and we agreed to me
et here and just hangout.
I was there 15 minutes before the assigned time which is 11 am. I brought a book
to read while waiting. But time had passed, 12nn, 1pm, 2pm, 3pm. I waited for h
im for about 4 hours with a hungry stomach and exposed to this heat. I even fini
shed the book I just started the same time I sat there. I was about to give up w
hen suddenly, I saw a figure of a man in front of me. When I lifted my head up,
all I saw Ian.
Ian: I was looking all over for you. Keith asked me to give you this.
I opened a box to see an antique music box necklace
Ian: Sorry. I didn't know Keith and you would be meeting here today. He just tol
d me the other day when I saw him to look for you on this day and give you the g
ift. So I went to your house but your Dad said you were here. How many hours are
you already waiting for him?
Beige: 4-5 hours.
Ian: No offense but when a guy doesn't come after 15 minutes of the meeting time
. He'll not come. If he's excited to meet you he'd be early, very early.
Beige: Don't put salt on the already painful wound, Ian. Let's go.
I pulled Ian's arm.
Beige: Let's go.
Ian: Where are we going?
Beige: To a restaurant. 'Cause it's already about 3 o'clock and I haven't eaten
lunch.
Ian: Are you mad?
Beige: I'm not. I'm really really really mad. I'm mad at Keith. I hate people wh
o doesn't keep their promises.
We arrived in the restaurant.
Beige: One pesto pasta. One chicken hamburger. One shrimp salad. One slice of or
eo cheesecake and a banana split for me and one baby back ribs with a corn cub a
nd a chocolate mousse cake for him. Bottomless ice tea please. Don't worry. I'll
pay.
Ian: Di ka naman masyadong malakas kumain ano?
Beige: I eat a lot when I'm mad.
I ate everything that I ordered and finished them all. That's how I am when I'm
really mad. Why am I mad? Maybe even with our circumstances, umasa ako pupunta s
iya kasi sinabi niya. Siya pa nga nagaya dibah. I expected today would be a grea
t day. One of our last great days. Pero anong nangyari?He didn't show up.
Beige: Burp!
Ian: Well, that was loud. Hehe. Fine now? Feeling okay?
Beige: Yup. Feeling like a piggy bank stuffed with a million pesos coins. But we
are not finished yet. There's still one more place we need to go to.
I pulled his arm again and went to a mall's arcade. I went to the booth where yo
u'd hit the beaver. Sorry for the beavers I just need something to hit.
Beige: Hit! Hit! There!
Ian helped me with the hitting and we ended up laughing at ourselves.
Ian: I'm sure you're okay now.
Beige: Yup. Hehe. Let's go.
Ian: Wait. Let's take a picture there.
He pointed at the photo booth.
Ian: To remember that day I helped you ease your anger. Haha.
Beige: Fine.
We were so funny in the photo booth. We did these wacky poses and even went for
a second try.
He took me home after that.
Beige: Thanks for the day and sorry too. I tend to get a little bad tempered the
se days.
Ian: No prob. Always here to help. But try to get Keith's explanation why he did
n't come. You know Keith, he's not like the other guys.
Beige: Fine.
Ian: See you in school.
Beige: See you. Ingat sa paguwi.
CHAPTER 34
I woke up feeling what every student in the entire would feel when after a few w
eeks of vacation you need to go back to school, the feeling of wanting to go bac
k to bed again.
Ian: Good morning! Nice. You're sporting the new wig. It sure does look like it'
s real.
Beige: Sush!
Ian: Chill! I'm just joking. Just trying to cheer you up.
We were walking in the hallway that morning.
Ian: Si Keith o, kasama niya si Fae. Uhm. Ehem. Sorry. I mean you should talk to
Keith and ask him why he didn't come.
I approached Keith and Fae.
Beige: Good morning.
Fae: Good morning. Nice new hair-do.
Beige: Thank you.
Fae: It looks good on you. Uhm. I would leave you two alone.
Keith: I'm sorry. There was an emergency at home. I know I should have called yo
u but my phone died.
He looks uneasy and as much as I want to believe his excuse, I can't. But who am
I to complain and nag? I'm not his girlfriend in the first place.
Beige: No. It's okay. You don't have to explain. Don't I didn't waited for you t
hat long. I realized you may have had an emergency or something so I went home e
arly.
"Liar!" that's what my conscience is saying to me if it was able to talk right n
ow. Why can't you just tell him you love him back and you waited for 4 hours for
him?
Keith: Uhm. I still have an early class. I need to go.
Beige: Oh. Okay.
I can feel Keith is distancing himself from me. I want to be happy because I wou
ld not be as attached to him but I still can't stop myself from being sad. I mis
s him and yet when I thought we can bond when I get back and be happy again saka
naman dumistasya siya sa akin.
It is as if I came back to the days when I was Ms. Invisible. Now, it was just m
e again was sitting inside the library. Sitting in the place where I usually sit
. Suddenly, every memory of Keith comes back. Everything, from the time I helped
him to the days we'd just bond.
I suddenly heard footsteps coming to my direction.
Beige: Keith?
"Sorry. Am I disturbing you?"
Beige: No. It's okay. I just though you were someone else.
"I'm new here. I mean as a librarian. It's my first day as an librarian here in
your school. I was just asked to dust some books."
Beige: Since this is the section where the dustiest books are found.
"That's what they said."
Beige: Not many people go to this part of the library. About two or less people
a year. They think this section is the most boring part of the library. Not many
people think Shakespeare is interesting.
"I do."
"Love is not love. Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remo
ver to remove."
We both said.
Beige: Shakespeare's Sonnet 116. A man can only truly love if he loves with a lo
ve that conforms to his definition. That, I read was the definition of that sonn
et.
"You must love Shakespeare that much. Hehe. By the way, I'm Jeric."
Beige: Beige. He's one of my favorite authors actually together with Jose Rizal,
Molire and Jane Austen. Hehe.
Jeric: You love classics do you?
Beige: Yup. How about you?
Jeric: I'm the sci-fi kind of guy but I do love Shakespeare. It made me see the
classic side of writing more.
Beige: Try reading some works by Molire. It's hard to find a copies of his plays
here but when you find one it's worth it.
Then the bell suddenly rang.
Beige: My free period is up. Time to eat. Nice to meet you Jeric.
Jeric: Nice to meet you too.
I proceed to the cafeteria.
Beige: Fae and Keith are getting close now a days.
I found myself just playing with my food and staring at Fae and Keith eating tog
ether.
Ian: You're jealous aren't you?
Beige: Why would I? I wanted them to get closer in the first place. I don't even
need to push them to be together this time.
Ian: Do you know your left ear twitch when you lie?
Beige: I'm not lying.
Ian: You are so lying. Your left ear is twitching again. You're lying to me righ
t now.
Beige: Fine. Maybe I am lying. I am a little bit jealous. But that is what I wan
ted in the first place. For them to get close. For them to be together.
Ian: But deep inside you are jealous and wants you and Keith to be together.
Beige: Maybe I'm jealous. But I'm getting worse Ian. For Pete's sake, I now only
have a few short strands of hair under this wig. I may die even earlier. One of
my wishes before I die is to find Keith his perfect girl. I already found her a
nd being happy for them is the only thing left to do for Keith and Fae. Maybe I
was jealous but right now, I'm erasing that thought in my head because I'm gonna
leave this earth happy and thinking Keith already found the perfect girl for hi
m.
SPECIAL CHAPTER
"Anong ginagawa mo dito? Kanina pa tapos ang visiting hours."
I found myself going to Beige's hospital a little tipsy from all the drinking I
did.
Keith: I just want to visit a special friend. Beige, Beige Alonzo. Room 405.
"You can't. As I said, visiting hours are over."
Keith: Please Nurse..
I look at her name tag it says Xyra Rodriguez.
Keith: Nurse Xyra, please. I just need to see her even just for a few minutes.
Nurse Xyra: Fine. Since it's Christmas, I would allow you but you need to be qui
et and in your case, since you smell and look like you're already a drunk I need
to escort you in her room.
Keith: Okay. No problem.
We went to Beige's room. It's already 3 am. People are done celebrating and eati
ng noche buena and are already sleeping, including Beige and her Dad. I approach
ed her. She's wearing her bandana and looking paler than usual.
Why can't you just tell me about this Beige? I can take care of you. My heart is
breaking seeing you like this. If I can just replace my brain and your brain so
that I would be the one with cancer right now I would. If I can just turn back
time. I would. But I can't. I am not God. I understand know why you kept saying
you can't love me. Everything you said flashed back to my head. If you think not
telling me is the best decision, you are wrong. It hurts the same. Knowing and
not knowing earlier. I suddenly feel that I'm so inconsiderate not knowing you h
ave cancer. From now on, I would do what you always want me to do.
I kissed her on the cheeks.
Remember I would always love you.
Her fingers suddenly moved. I immediately went out of the room. Just peeking fro
m the small opening of the door. I saw Nurse Xyra and Beige talking.
Nurse Xyra: Sorry to wake you up. Uhm. I'm just checking your vital signs.
Beige: It's okay. I'm used to it.
Nurse Xyra: There. Done. You may go back to sleep.
Beige: Thank you.
Nurse Xyra went outside.
Nurse Xyra: You don't want her to see you. Don't you?
I nodded.
Nurse Xyra: Spend the night here. Baka ano pang mangyari sayo sa labas. Madigras
ya ka pa. Here. Drink coffee.
I sat in the bench facing the nurse station. Turns out she's the only nurse on d
uty that time of the day.
Keith: Thank you. Uhm. I would just like to ask how is she?
Nurse Xyra: To tell you the truth, not getting any better. She's responding quit
e well to the chemo but as always as a result she's getting weaker. But I envy h
er. She's one of the bravest and strongest person I've ever known. At a very you
ng age, she does not let her illness get to her. It is just sad that she only ha
s about 4 years to live. A long time for her but a very short time for the peopl
e she loves. Once, when we had time to talk. She said how she loved to even live
for a very long time even though she's already ready to die. She kept saying ho
w she loved a guy very much but she can't. How she'll do everything just be with
that guy.
Keith: What's the name of the guy?
Nurse Xyra: Keith. Keith was his name. It was sad. She even said that she even p
ushed Keith to be with another girl for him to be happy. A martyr, yes but I und
erstand her. Nagmamahal lang siya kaya niya ginagawa yun. It so fascinating how
a teenager like her can do such a thing. She really is mature for her age. Don't
take this the wrong way but I envy that guy Keith because there's someone lovin
g him more than that person love herself.
I was speechless after all the things she said.
Nurse Xyra: I would just leave you there for a while. I just need to check on th
e other patients.
Days passed and January 2 arrived. As cruel as it may sound like, I'm ditching h
er today. I sent Ian to see her instead. I know she think all she has right now
is Ian that's why I sent him.
Angela: Keith, what's wrong with you? You look.. anxious.
Keith: It's nothing. Don't mind me.
Angela: Do you need to go somewhere or do something right now? I mean, if you do
it's okay. You can go. I don't have anything to do today so I'll just stay in t
he house.
I want to say that in fact I do. I wished I could tell her everything but I can'
t. I looked at the time and saw that it was 15 minutes before the time we decide
d to meet. I shouldn't have look at the time because it made me more anxious.
Angela: Just go for Pete's sake!
I had no choice but to get out and leave. I saw myself going to the aside place.
But when I saw Beige I hid at the back of a huge tree so that she'll not see me
. After 4 hours, she's still there.
What are you doing? Just go. I'm not showing up.
I want to tell her that. Then, suddenly Ian came. She lied about waiting for 4 h
ours. I now just noticed how one of her ears twitches when she lies.
When they left, I went back home. I took the long way home walking. Just to thin
k over things. Things are getting complicated. I don't know if I can still take
it. When I was walking, I suddenly bumped into Fae.
Fae: Keith! Fancy meeting you. Hehe.
Keith: Fae, hello.
Fae: You look sad and bothered.
Keith: It's nothing. Uhm. I need to talk to you about something.
Fae: What is it?
Keith: I would be honest to you Fae. I just realized now that Beige was right.
Fae: Right about what?
Keith: That you like me.
Her smile faded.
Fae: Yup. She's right. But I know you don't like me back. You like Beige.
Keith: But she wants us to be together.
Fae: She does?
I nodded.
Keith: Beige is dying Fae. I love her and I want to make her happy. And if us be
ing together would make her happy I would.
Fae: But you can't force yourself to love me. And as much as I want to be happy
I can't because I'm worried about Beige.
Keith: Then just help me. Even just pretend that we're together when Beige is ar
ound. Please help me Fae. I want her to be happy. As ludicrous as it may sound,
I want to do this for her. Please help me. I know you're hurting but I am too. V
enus then Beige. Fae, I'm not taking it anymore. I'm losing the girl I love agai
n.
She seems reluctant.
Fae: Fine. It will hurt I know but for Beige, I would do this.
Keith: Thank you.
I hugged her.
Keith: Thank you very much.
After a few weeks,
Today is the start of our act. Our act of pretending we're a couple, Fae and I.
We may not included other people in our act but they somewhat helped and coopera
ted because they sure are gossipers. They are spreading the rumor that Fae and I
are already together. We decided to meet in the front steps so that we could go
inside together.
While we are walking inside, we came into Beige. She's with a new guy. It's the
first time I met him.
Beige: Hello Keith! Hello Fae! Congrats. Heard you two are now a couple.
Her ear is not twitching so she's not lying but I can see in her eyes that she's
sad. Not maybe for us but for herself.
Fae: Uhm. Thank you.
Beige: I always thought you two look good together. Oh, by the way, this is Jeri
c. He's the new librarian here. Well, he's somewhat new here so I'm touring him
around. He's also a new friend so weird as it may seem I'm somewhat helping him
since he doesn't have friends here. Jeric, these are my friends, Fae and Keith.
Fae: Hello. Nice to meet you.
Jeric: Nice to meet you too.
I just gave him a nod. I know it is not right to feel this but still a pang of j
ealousy hits me.
CHAPTER 35
Few weeks after I got out of the hospital, I went back to school. That morning,
I saw myself walking in the hallway then bumping into Jeric.
Beige: Sorry.
Jeric: It's okay. Good morning by the way.
Beige: Good morning too.
We were walking in the hallway when I saw Fae and Keith together walking towards
our direction.
Jeric: Beige, you look pale. Are you okay?
Beige: No. It's okay. So, you're new here right? So care for a tour?
I smiled to reassure I was okay.
Jeric: Sure.
Fae saw us then stopped in front of us.
Beige: Hello Keith! Hello Fae! Congrats. Heard you two are now a couple.
I composed myself and took a deep breath. Believe it or not that was sincere eve
n though deep inside I was hurting.
Fae: Uhm. Thank you.
Beige: I always thought you two look good together. Oh, by the way, this is Jeri
c. He's the new librarian here. Well, he's somewhat new here so I'm touring him
around. He's also a new friend so weird as it may seem I'm somewhat helping him
since he doesn't have friends here. Jeric, these are my friends, Fae and Keith.
Fae: Hello. Nice to meet you.
Jeric: Nice to meet you too.
Beige: Well.. uhm. We'll go ahead. See you around.
Fae: See you.
We walked to the staircase.
Jeric: Well, that was awkward.
Beige: You noticed?
Jeric: You don't need to be a genius to notice it. The way Keith looks at me it
is as if he'll kill me right there and then.
Beige: Sorry I had to put you in that situation.
Jeric: It's okay.
Beige: Let's start the touring. Well, this is the Ynarez building and of course
this is the 2nd floor of it. That room is the room for the photography club. It
quite big since it has its own dark room inside. Jeric? Jeric? Are you listening
?
When I turned to Jeric he was staring at Jane, the president of the photography
club. He was staring at her while she was walking towards the photography room.
Beige: Mr. Jeric here had just been smitten by the Ms. Jane Carlos. Jane Carlos,
a fellow senior and the one and only president of the photography club.
Jeric: You know her?
Beige: Who doesn't? Wait here.
For the first time or rather the second time, Beige Alonzo will now be a match m
aker. Hehe. So I walked towards Jane.
Beige: Hi Jane! You may not know me but I need you to do my friend a favor.
Jane: I know you. You're Beige. The director of the Antigone play. Sure, what is
it?
Beige: My friend over there his name is Jeric.
She suddenly glanced at Jeric and Jeric suddenly blushed.
Beige: He doesn't really go to school here. He's actually our new librarian. As
you can see, he has a crush on you. Is it okay if I introduce you to him? I know
he should have done it himself but he's kinda shy. You know how guys can be eve
n shyer that we do.
Jane: Oh okay sure.
I went to Jeric and pulled his hand.
Beige: Hello again. Jane, this is Jeric. Jeric, this is Jane.
Jane: Hello. Nice to meet you.
Jane extends her hand.
Beige: Extend you hand.
I whispered to Jeric. He does so.
Beige: Well, you're on your own buddy. Hindi siya nangangain ng tao don't worry.
Hehe.
I whispered again. I went down the stairs and left the two alone.
Later that afternoon..
I saw Keith and Fae together when I was about to go out of the school.
Ian: You wanted it.
Suddenly, Ian popped out of nowhere.
Beige: I know. Don't put salt on the wound anymore.
Ian: I'm just saying. Chill. Let's go.
Ian grabbed my hand.
Beige: Where are we going?
Ian: Basta. We are gonna put a band-aid on that wound. Temporary but helpful eno
ugh. Hehe.
He smiled. I didn't have a choice but to follow him. We went to the mall and str
aight to the arcade. We first went to the game where you whack those whatever th
ey are.
Ian: Whack it! Go!
So I did. After a few minutes, I'm enjoying what I'm doing. But also after a few
minutes, the games done. I got lots of tokens but it's now that I only realize
this game is like what Keith and I had. Really, I don't know what we really had.
Maybe the spark or the friendship but never the less it ended when we're both h
appy with each other.
Ian: This game is like love. At first, you are reluctant because you don't know
if you can't hit as many as you can. Then you realize you can and then you enjoy
it very much. But sadly, when you're already having fun, the game ends. But you
can always put a token again and start all over again.
It is as if he read my mind in saying that. He inserts a token again that starte
d the game again.
Ian: See. Go! Whack it again.
I smiled. Started playing the game until I got tired.
Ian: You had enough. Let's go.
After the arcade, we went to a music store.
Ian: Listen to this.
He placed the CD on the player and he gave me the headphones to put on and liste
n.
In everyway you mean more to me
than you'll ever know
girl, I'll do my best to show these words are true
and if you'd like to make a song
and be a perfect harmony with me
I'd find the greatest words sing
so we could write our own romance
The song ended. When I was about to take of the headphones..
Ian: Beige, will you go to the...
"Beige!"
When I turned around, I saw Keith and Fae together. Fae was the one calling me.
Fae: Fancy meeting you here.
Ian: Fancy meeting you too. Out on a date?
I nudged Ian's back with my elbow.
Ian: Ow! Sorry. I think something just bit me. Just joking about the date thing.
What are you doing here?
Fae: Hehe. You can say that but we're also buying things for our project.
Ian: Oh.
Fae: So how about you two?
Beige: Just hangin' out. Since my best friend is with you, I accepted Ian's invi
tation here. Not that I'm mad at you Fae. Keith can be with you anytime. I maybe
the best friend but you're still the girlfriend. You're the first priority.
Fae: I understand what you're saying. Don't worry.
Ian: Beige and I are just on the way to grab a bite, you want to come?
Fae: Sure. Is it okay with you Keith?
Keith nodded.
Ian: Let's go.
Beige: You're doing it again. You said you want to put a band-aid on the wound a
nd so you did. And then, you taking it out again to put more salt.
I whispered to Ian.
Ian: Chill. I'm not taking out the band-aid to put more salt. I'm taking it out
to put more antiseptic solution on it.
He smiled. We went to the restaurant where I usually go and where I usually meet
Keith. It brings back lots of memories.
Ian: Waiter!
The waiter approached us.
Ian: Fae, Keith, you order first.
Fae: Just lasagna and glass of lemonade. You Keith?
Keith: Pesto pasta, a slice of blueberry cheesecake and a glass of orange juice.
Ian: You Beige?
Keith: Pasta puttanesca and a slice of strawberry cheesecake.
He whispered a bit loudly. Awkward.
Beige: What he said. Pasta puttanesca and a slice of strawberry cheesecake. My d
rink would just be a glass of ice cold water.
Waiter: Is that all?
Ian: Baked macaroni and a glass of coke zero for me. That's all. Thank you.
We just kept talking even though it was a little awkward, even when our order ar
rived.
Fae: Are you two going to the prom?
Ian: Me. Yes. I don't know if Beige here will.
Beige: I'm not yet sure.
Ian: Go. It would be the last prom you'd be going to. Hindi ka na nga pumunta nu
ng ball saka nung party eh. Sige na.
Beige: Fine but still don't have a dress.
Fae: I'll help you pick one if you want.
Me and Fae. Picking a prom dress together?
Beige: Okay.
Fae: Just text me.
Then there was silence.
Fae: Excuse me. I'll just need to go to the ladies room.
Fae left.
Ian: Uhm. Beige..
Beige: What is it?
Ian: Will you go to the prom with me? I mean I should have ask you more romantic
or something but I was about to ask you awhile ago but Fae called you. I mean a
s friends. If you just want.
I looked at Keith but he was looking away, pretending he was not seeing or heari
ng anything. I swallowed.
Beige: Uhm. Sure.
Ian's phone suddenly rang.
Ian: Excuse me. I have to take this.
Ian stood up and went outside the restaurant. Then there was silence again. I we
nt back eating my strawberry cheesecake.
Keith: How are you?
Beige: Fine. You?
Keith: Fine too.
It's so awkward. We're talking as if we're not friends or very close at all as b
efore. We're talking as if it's the first time we met. What happened to our frie
ndship?
Beige: How's Ate Angela? Your parents?
Keith: She's okay. My parents are too. My parents went back to the states last w
eek.
Beige: Oh. Okay.
At the same time, Fae and Ian went back to our table.
Ian: Bill is paid already. My treat. Hehe. So what are you talking about while w
e're gone?
Beige: Nothing.
CHAPTER 36
"Oliver, you've got to stop being sick. That guilty look on your face. It's sick
. It's nobody's fault. Would you stop blaming yourself? It's nobody's fault. It'
s not your fault."
I woke up waking into Ali MacGraw, the girl who plays Jenny talking to Ryan O'Ne
al, the one who plays Oliver in the 1970's movie Love Story based on Erich Segal
's book. I remembered waking up early, eating, taking a bath and going back to b
ed and watching Love Story. I didn't realize I fell asleep.
I know I said you will be the one to call me but I'm planning to also look for a
prom dress today. Mind if you join me? Let's look for our dresses together.
Fae texted me.
Sure. Be there in 15 minutes.
I replied. I fixed myself and went down.
Beige: Dad, I'm going to the mall with Fae. We'll be looking for a dress for pro
m. Don't worry. I'll just use my own money.
Dad: You're going to the prom?
Beige: Uhm. Yes. Ian asked me.
Dad: Oh. I just thought..
Beige: That Keith would ask me?
Dad: 'Cause I can see in his eyes that he likes you.
Beige: No Dad. He likes Fae not me. Got to go.
Dad: Take care. Go home early. Take your medicine after eating lunch. Okay?
Beige: Okay Dad. Bye!
I went to the mall and saw Fae in the coffee shop.
Fae: Thanks for coming with me.
Beige: It's okay. Thank you too.
Fae: Want a cup of coffee?
Beige: No. It's okay.
Fae: Okay. Let's go.
We looked all over almost the whole mall we still can't look for the perfect dre
ss for us. We only have one store left to go.
Fae: The perfect dress.
She saw and got a palm sequin cocktail dress. She fitted the dress and went out
for me to see.
Fae: Is it okay already?
I nodded. It fitted her perfectly. She was beautiful in the dress. No wonder Kei
th liked her.
Fae: Sorry.
Beige: Don't be. I'm having fun. It's the first time I've visit the stores here
in this mall. Hehe.
Fae: It's not that. I'm sorry about Keith. I know you love him but I still said
yes to him.
Beige: You know we can't be together. If you love someone, you have to set them
free. Cliched but still true. I know you'll love him more than I could. I know h
e'll be happier with you.
She wasn't able to answer. She just went to my direction and hugged me.
Saleslady: Are you getting that dress Ma'am?
She stopped hugging me when the saleslady arrived.
Fae: Yes. I do.
Saleslady: Is your friend also buying a dress?
Fae: Yes but she still can't find one. Can you recommend anything for her?
Saleslady: Here Ma'am.
She took the feather silk dress and showed it to us. I fitted it. It fits perfec
tly. At first, I think it is so not my style but when I looked at it closely, it
really looks good on me. It is as if it's made for me. Maybe it is because the
saleslady said that every dress in the store is one of a kind.
When I was looking at myself in the mirror, it is as if I'm looking at another p
erson. I don't recognize myself already. I'm much taller than I was before but i
t doesn't hide the fact that I'm getting paler and thinner by the passing months
.
Fae: Beige, are you okay over there?
Beige: Yup. I'm coming out.
I went out the fitting room for Fae to see how I look in the dress.
Fae: Wow. You look beautiful. I advice you buy that dress.
Beige: Thank you. Don't worry. I will.
I smiled.
Beige: Ms, we'll get this one too.
After buying our dresses, Fae invited me to her house. She said we'll just eat t
here since she has her own chef. Never though she was that rich. I turned down t
he invitation but she was really begging me to go to her house so I said yes.
We arrived in a big condo unit. We waited in the sala while while waiting for he
r chef to cook us lunch.
Fae: My parents both are in Berlin, for the upcoming film festival. My Dad's a f
ilm director while my Mom is a film producer. They both reside in London.
Beige: So you're the only one here in the Philippines?
Fae: Yup. Since the freshman year. I would join them and study film immediately
after we graduate.
Beige: Did your parents force you to study film?
Fae: Nah. Own will. It just so happens I also like film like they do. They even
are encouraging me not to take up film.
She smiled.
Fae: How about your parents?
Beige: I only have my Dad now. My Mom died because of cancer when I was little.
Sadly, I got cancer too, colon cancer. But I'm okay now.
Fae: I'm sorry. So that's why you were gone for awhile.
I nodded. She suddenly noticed the string of my necklace I'm wearing or actually
wearing but hiding that I'm wearing it. She held the string to expose my neckla
ce.
Fae: Sorry. I was just curious about your necklace.
Beige: It was given to me by someone I loved. It's a music box necklace.
Fae: How I wish someone I loved also give me a necklace like that.
Beige: Ask Keith to also buy you one.
She just nodded. Is it me or was she sad? I can see it in her eyes.
Fae: Lunch is ready. Let's go.
After talking about lots of things over lunch, we decided to call it a day. I we
nt home and took a nap.
Meanwhile..
Fae: Keith, meet me by the coffee shop. 4 pm. Please. I need to talk to you.
CHAPTER 37
In these deep city lights
Girl could get lost tonight
I'm finding every reason to be gone
Nothing here to hold on to
Could I hold you?
I was waiting for Keith in the coffee shop. The song playing and this tea I'm dr
inking are the only things soothing me. I'm feeling down right now. Because of m
y parents who's always not around and the situation with Keith and Beige.
Keith: Fae.
Fae: Have a seat. Do you want want to order something?
Keith: No. Why did you call me to go here? Is there something wrong?
I took a sip of my tea.
Fae: Keith, I can do this anymore. I can't pretend I'm your girlfriend. I just c
an't. I don't want to see Beige's sad face when she sees us together. She loves
you Keith. She loves you very much. As much as you know I have feelings for you,
I know you'll be happier with her not far from her. Why just tell her that you
know she's dying?
I bit my lip to keep the tears from falling from my eyes.
Keith: That's the reason. She loves me very much and she rather see me with you
even though it hurts her.
Fae: You two are too complicated. The only thing that can make everything right
is for you to tell her you love her and that you know about her condition. But I
can no longer pretend Keith. Sorry.
I stood up and walk away with tears running down my cheeks.
Back to Beige..
Sir John: Good morning class!
I found myself back to school after the weekend and with Sir John for my first c
lass.
Sir John: Final exams are nearing you know that. The final exams before you grad
uate high school. But before the exams, you still need to do one thing. A report
. A report on the eras. Medieval, Renaissance, Age of Exploration and many more.
You'll be reporting by pairs next week same day. Pick an era and creatively rep
ort it. That's it. So for the pairs. You and You. You and You. You and you.
After many you and you's, he said the two names I'm terrified to hear together.
Sir John: And lastly, Beige and Keith.
Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. This is bad.
After the class, I stood up to talk to him about the report but he quickly went
out the classroom. He's really avoiding me lately.
Ian: What's wrong?
He really always pops out of nowhere. Just like a bubble.
Beige: Sino pa ba parating kong problema? Ang problemang ayaw kong problemahin p
ero parating pinoproblema.
Ian: Keith. So what's wrong with him this time?
Beige: He's avoiding me. Big time. I just miss the kulitan, the friendship. He's
my first ever best friend. Weird right. I got my first best friend at this age.
Ian: Cheer up. There's a rainbow after the storm.
Beige: Pakanta kanta ka pa diyan mali naman ang lyrics mo. It's rain not storm.
Ian: Ikaw naman. I'm just making you smile.
Beige: Then it's effective. Hehe.
I smiled.
Beige: Let's go. I would be late for my next class.
A few days passed. I kept taking to Keith about our project but it is as if he's
not listening so Friday that week I finally had enough. He was walking in the h
allway when I stopped in front of him.
Beige: I don't know what your problem is but my grades are important. The histor
y report is important. It is by pair but it is seems you don't want to cooperate
. If you don't want to report with me, then fine. You report alone. I'll do too.

I walked away.
Keith: Beige..
I turned around.
Beige: What?
Keith: Go to my house tomorrow. 11 am. We'll do work on the report together.
As they say 'Kung hindi mo makuha sa santong dasalan. Kunin mo sa santong paspas
an.'
The next day..
Beige: Dad! I'm going to Keith's house for a project. I'd be staying there until
afternoon. I'd be eating lunch there.
Dad: Take care.
I arrived at Keith's home. Ate Angela came and opened the door.
Beige: Is Keith there?
Angela: Yes. He's in the library. Come in.
Beige: Thank you.
Angela: Feel at home. It's the last room on the second floor.
I went to the library. I knocked first.
Keith: Come in.
Beige: It's me. I knew you had a library but I didn't expect it to be this big.
Keith: Sit down.
I sat on the sofa. He's still as cold as the North Pole.
Keith: What era do you want?
Beige: Renaissance but if it's okay if you want another era.
Keith: Renaissance it is. Here are the books for renaissance. The photocopier is
at the end of the room. Wait here. I'll just get my laptop.
I went to the table and look at the books. Wow. These are impressive. These book
s are old. They're even books from the 50's. But there are also the modern ones
that are very expensive.
Keith: Are those okay?
Beige: Yup. They're even more than okay.
I smiled. He sat across me and we started reading and formulating our report. I
couldn't help but to look at him and say 'What happened to us Keith?'
Keith: Why are you looking at me? Is there something on my face?
Beige: No. Nothing. Don't mind me.
After a few hours, we're called by Angela.
Angela: Lunch is ready! Let's eat.
Keith: I'll just get something. You go ahead.
I was walking towards dining room when I suddenly had this very painful pain in
my head. It is as if someone is drilling my head.
Beige: Ahh!
Keith carried me to the sofa in the sala.
Keith: Your medicine. Where is it?
Beige: My bag.
I remembered I left my bad in the library so he ran to the library to get my med
icine.
Keith: Water! Angela! Faster!
Angela came in with the water and Keith gave me my medicine.
Angela: Here. Here. What's happening to her?
Keith: She's having an attack.
Angela: Why? What's wrong with her?
Keith She has brain cancer.
Beige: You knew?
That's all I was able to mutter before passing out.
CHAPTER 38
I opened my eyes and first saw Ate Angela's face.
Angela: Keith! Keith! She's awake.
I saw Keith in a chair beside me. I realized I was in Keith's room. Never though
t his room would be this clean and that it would smell this nice. Anyways, I als
o realize it's already 8 in the evening.
Angela: Don't worry about your Dad. We already called him and said we'll take ca
re of you and you'll be staying here until tomorrow.
Beige: Uhm. Ate Angela could you please leave me and Keith alone first. I just n
eed to talk to him about something.
Angela: Sure. Sure. I'll just get food for you. You still haven't eaten lunch an
d dinner yet.
I nodded. Angela went out of the room.
Beige: One question only. For how long did you already know about my condition?
Keith: About a month and a half already.
Beige: That explains the Fae situation I see. I'm not upset because you lied but
because you used her. I would be happy if it would for real but not like that.
It's hurting her deep inside.
Keith: For Pete's sake Beige! Why do you keep pushing me to her?! You know I lov
e you very much and now that I knew you're dying it made me want to love you mor
e and take care of you. What I did with Fae was way wrong. I shouldn't used her.
I should have told you earlier.
He raised his voice. He stood up and went to my direction. I tried to stand up b
ut I'm took weak. He approached me to help but before he could hold me, I pushed
him away.
Beige: Don't touch me Keith.
Keith: But Beige..
Beige: Keith, what do you want? To say that I love you too very much and I'd be
with you forever. I would if I could but that can't be. I'm dying Keith. I only
have about 4 years to live. I don't want a burden to you. I don't want to be lik
e Venus. What if I did accept you? What if we'll be together and I die even earl
ier. Will you take it? You barely didn't when Venus died. I love you very much K
eith. Sadly, even more than myself. And I'm very afraid that I would leave you o
ne day. I want to spend forever with you. There, I said it. Happy? 'Cause as muc
h as I want to be, I just can't. I don't want you to sacrifice everything for me
. I don't want to be a burden. I don't want you to blame me for missing out on e
verything. I want you to be happy Keith even though it means hurting myself and
seeing you with another girl I would.
Keith tried to hugged me but I pushed him again.
Beige: Don't.
I stood up and went out the door
Angela: Beige! Where are you going?
Beige: Home. I'm already okay Ate Angela. Thank you very much for taking care of
me.
Angela: You can't. You're still weak.
I ignored what she said and even though weak, I tried to get home. Dad answered
the door.
Dad: I thought you'd be sleeping in Keith's house.
I hugged him immediately and cried so hard.
Dad: Why? What's wrong?
I told him about the whole story in between the loud sobs. That night, I cried m
yself to sleep. I slept in my Dad's room with my Dad hugging and comforting me j
ust like a kid who is crying because of a terrible nightmare. Too bad this night
mare is really happening. I would wake up tomorrow and things would be as they a
re.
Few weeks passed..
Dad: Chocolates for my Isabella. Happy Valentine's Day.
My Dad kissed me on the cheeks while I was getting ready for prom.
Beige: Thanks Dad.
Me and my Dad has this tradition that every year he would buy me chocolates for
Valentine's Day pretending he's my boyfriend just to make fun of me. I just love
my Dad. He's always there for me even though I may not be the best daughter a D
ad could have.
I placed the headband my mom used to wear for special occasions when she was jus
t my age. Put on some make up, my wig, dress and a pair of high heels.
Dad: Ian's already downstairs.
Beige: Told him I'd be down in a minute. Thanks Dad.
I kissed him on the cheeks.
Beige: Thanks for everything.
I went down to see Ian staring as I walked down. He had the corsage in this left
hand and I also have his boutonniere .
Ian: Wow. You look.. beautiful.
Beige: Thanks.
I placed the boutonniere on his chest and he placed the corsage on my wrist.
Ian: Let's go. Don't worry Mr. Alonzo. I'll take care of Beige.
Dad: I trust you.
Beige: Bye Dad.
We waved goodbye as we proceed to the venue of our prom. The venue was nice. A b
it cold but just okay. We proceed to our table. Turns out we're seated with Keit
h and Fae but they're still not here. Which is not good. After what happened tha
t night with Keith and I, I tried everything to avoid him. It is just too painfu
l.
I saw Fae come in the door but she's alone. Keith followed him but he's alone to
o. Fae sat beside me and Keith sat beside Drake who also is beside Fae. The nigh
t was fun despite the awkward atmosphere between me and Keith. After the program
, which proclaimed Pia and Francis, my friends from the play Prom King and Queen
, it was time to dance.
Keith: I know it's rude but Ian, can I ask Beige for a dance. I just need to tal
k to her.
I can see in Ian's eyes that he didn't want it but he agreed.
Ian: If it's okay with Beige, it's okay with me.
Keith reaches his hand to me. I had no choice but to take it. He placed his han
ds on both of my hips and I placed my both of my hand on his shoulders.
And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you
Beige: So..
Keith: I just want to tell you that I'm willing to take care of you. I won't com
plain. Never.
Beige: Please Keith. I'm here to have fun. Don't get me started. If that's all w
e'll talk about then we might as well stop dancing.
He didn't say a word after that. We just let the song end. Ian came. Thank God.
Ian: Is it okay if I can dance with my date now?
Keith moved aside and motion to Ian that he could already dance with me. Keith l
eft and went to our table.
Ian: Are you okay? Did Keith say something to upset you?
Beige: Yup. Don't mind it. We're here to have fun right?
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong
He did as Keith did when we were dancing. The hands on the hips thing and my han
ds on his shoulders.
Beige: Ian..
Ian: What is it?
Beige: Thanks for everything. I really appreciate it. You're really a great frie
nd. I hope we stay like this even until the next life.
I smiled.
Ian: What if I want us to more than friends?
Beige: Pardon?
Ian: I want us to be more than friends, Beige. I like you. I love you. Cliched b
ut, ever since that day we met in Kuya's office.
I suddenly stopped dancing.
Beige: Can you repeat that again?
Ian: I said I want us to be more than friends. I like you ever since that day we
met in Kuya's office and I had grown to love you more and more each day that we
're together.
CHAPTER 39
I went the rooftop of the school. I just want to be alone. My life is getting co
mplicated every single day. A week has passed but it is as if prom day was only
yesterday.
Ian: I said I want us to be more than friends. I like you ever since that day we
met in Kuya's office and I had grown to love you more and more each day that we
're together.
I ran away and went out of the ball room but Ian ran after me.
Ian: Beige! I'm sorry to tell you this now but this is what I feel.
Beige: Ian, you my know my life's complicated enough. I don't serve you. I don't
want to risk our friendship. I love that you're always there for me. You're alw
ays a shoulder to cry on. But..
Ian: You just can't love me that way I want you to.
I nodded.
Beige: Sorry.
I kissed his cheek and left.
What happened kept flashing in my head. Like a clip of movie stuck on repeat. I
want to love Ian, really I do because he's easy to love but as I said I love Kei
th and my life's complicated right now that I love Keith so much but I can't be
with him.
I went down to my next class to see I was early and the only one inside the room
. So I just decided to read. Suddenly, the sharp pain in my head came again but
this time it's even 10x worse.
Beige: Ah!!
I fell down my chair. I can't take this pain anymore. I tried to get my medicine
but turns out I ran out. I supposed to buy earlier but I forgot.
Beige: Ah!!
I held my head. I just want it to stop. I just saw someone open the door, shout
for help and carried me. What happens after that was all a blur.
Dad: Isabella! Good thing you're now awake.
I woke up in a hospital with Dad by my side.
Beige: Who brought me here?
Dad: Keith. If he hadn't walk in the room early, he'll not be able to get you to
a hospital.
Beige: Where is he?
Dad: Outside. He knows you don't want to see him.
Suddenly, Keith appeared.
Keith: I just stayed to wait for you to be awake. Now that you're awake. I'll go
ahead. Take care of yourself.
He turned around to leave.
Beige: Keith..
He turned around.
Keith: Yes?
Beige: Thank you.
Keith: You're welcome.
He smiled at me then left. Suddenly, Dr. Lee came to check on me.
Dr. Lee: Are you okay? Is the headache gone?
I nodded.
Dr. Lee: I hate to break this to you Beige, Mr. Alonzo but Biege needs to go bac
k to the States for treatment again. The treatments done to her are not enough.
She's getting worse and worse. I don't want to risk Beige's life. I, myself don'
t want her to die. As much, she has 5 years to live there can be a miracle. She
maybe has 35% chance to live but there's still that 35% hope. And going to the s
tates and getting high tech treatments that are now proven 95% effective can pro
long her life and even cure her.
Beige: I understand.
Dr. Lee: I'll give you the number and address of my brother Jeff in the States.
He works as a doctor in a hospital for cancer patients but they specialize in br
ain cancer. He would help and take care of you. I already called him.
Beige: We would go as soon as possible. Thank you very much Dr. Lee. Thanks for
everything.
Dad: But Isabella..
Beige: Don't worry to much Dad. We'll go there after my finals. I don't want to
die Dad as much as I ready myself for it. I don't want to leave the people I lov
e here but I need to.
Dad: Fine. Thank you Dr. Lee.
After a few weeks..
Beige: Dad, it's okay. Just spare me this day to go to school. It's my finals. I
t's my last day to see everyone.
Dad: Fine. Just take care. Drink your medicine. I already placed it in your bag.
Beige: Yes Dad. Dad..
Dad: Yes?
Beige: Don't worry too much.
I went to school with the big smile on my face as if this is not my last day her
e in school. I walked passed Keith in the hallway but he didn't talk to me and
just pretended he didn't see me. He just passed by me.
Beige: I love you and thank you very much. Goodbye.
Was all that I muttered when he was walking by. Don't know though if he heard me
. Maybe not.
I went to the library. Suddenly, I saw Ian. I pulled his arm.
Beige: Ian, we need to talk.
CHAPTER 40
He hesitated a bit.
Ian: Ok.
Beige: Let's go somewhere quiet.
We went to the rooftop of the school.
Beige: Ian, I'm leaving for the states.
Ian: What?
Beige: It's my last day today. I just went to take the exams so that I could gra
duate. I can no longer attend the graduation. My Dad already talked to the princ
ipal and my diploma would just be sent to me in the states. I'd be leaving the d
ay of the graduation.
Ian: Why?
Beige: Dr. Lee said I need to get more extensive treatments. I'm getting worse.
The attacks are getting worse too. As much as I don't want to leave you guys kai
langan eh. I want to live, Ian. I want to get cured and if that means leaving th
e Philippines I would. Sorry Ian. You know, that I can't love you that way you w
ant me to.
I hugged him tight.
Ian: It's okay. I know I can'y force you to love me. I will miss you my friend.
You know that. Thank you too for everything. For the few months we've been toget
her.
Beige: I will miss you.
Ian: Me too. Email me your address okay. I would definitely visit you if I have
time.
Beige: Absolutely. I would never forget you as long as I live.
Ian: Me too.
After a few weeks..
Few days left before we leave for the US. We are already packed. We also fixed t
he house so that other people could rent our house. We're still not sure if we'l
l go back again here in the Philippines. We may stay in the states for good. I j
ust spent my few days of stay here doing things in my bucketlist.
The first thing I did was to find Dr. Lee a gift. It was a bit easy since he lik
ed Paulo Coelho I decided to buy him Paulo Coelho's authorized biography by Fern
ando Morais. A Warriors Life.
Dear Dr. Lee,
Thank you very much. You don't know how much I'm grateful for everything. You re
ally saved my life. Thanks for always be there for me. I would never ever forget
you. Take care of Emily and please take Nurse Abby on a date. You need to move
on. Take care too. God Bless.
Love,
Beige
I wrote the last page of the book before leaving it on Dr. Lee's desk the same d
ay.
7. Give Dr. Lee a gif
The next day, I fixed my room. Threw the things that need to be thrown and set a
side the things that I would give to the people close to my heart. Keith, Fae an
d Ian. I placed notes on the things that I gave them to say goodbye and the othe
r things I need to say to them.
I first went to Fae's. She's not there so I just left on the front door the dres
s I wore on the prom night.
Thank you very much for being my friend even though it was just for a while. If
Drake still doesn't have a girlfriend, then you two maybe for each other. He lik
es you, you know that. Give him a chance. Take care. - Beige
After that, I went to Ian's house. I left on his porch step a box containing my
movie collection.
I would repeat this for the nth time. Thank you for everything. I would never fo
rget you. I will miss you. I hope you'll remember me when you watch these movies
. - Beige.
Lastly, I went to Keith's house. I really went there before our dismissal time s
o that he'll not see me. I left him a big box containing the books I own, the Au
drey Hepburn movies and the notebook. The notebook that somewhat started everyth
ing.
Goodbye Keith. I hope every thing works out for you. Hope you find the perfect g
irl for you. Sorry for everything. I would say I love you, one last time before
I go to the States. You know how complicated things are so please don't find me
anymore. It would be harder for yourself and myself too if you do that. Thanks f
or the wonderful times. I would never forget you. - Beige
9. Give away my things to the people I lov
Meanwhile..
Keith: Few weeks had passed. Beige is still not coming to school. I'm getting wo
rried.
Ian: Don't expect for her to come. The exams day was her last day. I expected sh
e told you.
Keith: Tell me what.
Ian: That on the day of the graduation, she'll go with her father to the states.
She'll be staying there for treatment.
Keith: What?
EPILOGUE
Dad: You're done with the tests. Let's go. They'll just send the results to Pell
egrino hospital, we're you'll be staying. The one who'll rent our house will mov
e there next week. They'll just send us the rent every month.
Beige: Ok. Let's go.
Before going to the airport for our 1 o'clock flight, we first went to my mom to
say goodbye. After that we went straight to the airport.
Meawhile..
Keith: What?
Ian: Beige and her dad is leaving tomorrow for the states for her treatments. Wh
y are you still standing there? Get her. Find her. For Pete's sake Keith. You lo
ve her and she loves you too, very much even. What's wrong with that?
Keith: I..
Ian: Quit yapping and just go. I'll just tell them you went home because you're
sick. Go!
I went to Beige's house but they're not there. I looked through the window but I
just saw furnitures covered with white cloths. I decided to go to the library t
hen to the rooftop. But she's not there. I went to the hospital she used to stay
but still the same. I also went to Dr. Lee's office but he only knew that she'l
l be staying in the hospital for some tests but he doesn't know which hospital.
I don't know where to look so I decided to just go home.
Angela: Is something bothering you?
Keith: Nothing. I'm just tired. I'll go to my room.
Angela: Wait. You have a package here. It was left by someone earlier.
Keith: Thanks. I'll just open it in my room. I'm tired. I'll just rest in my roo
m.
I took the package and went to my room. When I was in my room, I opened the big
box. Inside it were Audrey Hepburn movies and a notebook. Also there was a note
.
Goodbye Keith. I hope every thing works out for you. Hope you find the perfect g
irl for you. Sorry for everything. I would say I love you, one last time before
I go to the States. You know how complicated things are so please don't find me
anymore. It would be harder for yourself and myself too if you do that. Thanks f
or the wonderful times. I would never forget you.
- Beige
Beige gave me the Audrey Hepburn movies she really love and the notebook. The no
tebook that somewhat started everything. That day suddenly flashed backed in my
mind. Also everything that happened to us flashed back making me feel so happy y
et so sad at the same time.
The next day..
Angela: Keith! Get up!
I woke up with Angela tapping my left arm. I realized I fell asleep while huggin
g Beige's notebook.
Angela: Hurry up. We're gonna be late. Your graduation is 30 minutes away.
I fixed myself and we went to the graduation. I was very anxious in the graduati
on I don't know if I'll go the airport and get Beige or go on with this.
Ian: Keith! What are you doing here? Beige's leaving in 30 minutes. The school i
s far from the airport and it's really traffic.
Keith: I tried to find her but I can't.
Ian and I are talking in the line to get our diploma.
Ian: She isn't there. I forgot she said that she'll be staying in Medical City f
or a night to get check before going to the states.
What?
"Keith Ramos."
I took my diploma and rushed to the airport. No Beige. Please don't leave me wit
hout seeing you for one last time.
Back to Beige..
Flight number 054 to Los Angeles Airport is gonna leave in 15 minutes.
Dad: Let's go. Are you ready?
Am I ready to leave the Philippines? To leave all my love ones here? To leave Ke
ith? No. But I need to do it. I'm not expecting Keith to show up because I reall
y didn't tell him about me going but I guess Ian covered that already.
We are going to the gate when I think I heard Keith calling my name. But when I
looked back all I saw were lots of people going towards the same gate. Maybe I'm
just hallucinating. I went on and boarded the plane.
Goodbye Philippines. Goodbye everyone. Goodbye Keith. I still hope we'll meet ag
ain.
Meanwhile..
I just hate traffic. Even in movies, you're trying to catch someone and still th
e traffic doesn't cooperate.
Keith: Beige, please. Please wait for me. Kuya, pakibilisan naman po. Sige na na
man po.
When I arrived, I heard that I would just be 15 minutes before Beige's plane lea
ve. I was running and shouting her name like a mad man.
Keith: Beige! Beige!
I went to the gate.
Keith: Ms, can you tell me if Beige Alonzo boarded that plane?
"Sorry Sir. We're not allowed to give that information."
Keith: Please. I won't tell anyone you told me. It's a matter of life and death.
.
"Oh. Okay. She boarded the plane. But sadly sir, the plane already left just 2 m
inutes ago."
I can't believe it. I missed her. She's gone.