Extract from Onetonners Tonne of Skits

Skits From Jokes

Contents
GHOST OF THE TWO WHITE EYES ........................................................................................................... 2
TAKING THE PENGUINS TO THE ZOO ...................................................................................................... 2



GHOST OF THE TWO WHITE EYES

CAST:
Ghost, kids looking for a room for the night.

SCENE:
A haunted house.

ACTION:
A ghost haunts the stage. One by one, kids enter with their sleeping bags. Each time
one spreads out a bag, the ghost suddenly appears and begins to wail, I am the Ghost
of the Two White Eyes Each kid flees in terror. Repeat this with as many kids as you
wish.

ENDING:
The last kid ignores the ghost as she/he lays out the sleeping bag and prepares for a
good nights sleep. The ghost keeps wailing, more and more annoyingly: I am the Ghost
of the Two White Eyes. I am the Ghost of the Two White Eyes
Finally the kid straightens up, turns on the ghost, shows a fist and threatens: You may
be the Ghost of the Two White Eyes now but if you dont shut up, youll be the Ghost
of the one BLACK EYE!
The ghost flees in terror.

TAKING THE PENGUINS TO THE ZOO

CAST:
Penguin keeper, penguins, police officer.

SCENE:
A highway.

ACTION:
A man walks across stage, with a line of penguins waddling along behind. Police officer
stops the man and asks, Where are you taking these penguins? The man replies, Im
taking them to the beach. The police officer advises him to take them to the zoo
instead. The man agrees, changes direction, and walks off with the penguins waddling
along behind.

ENDING:
Police officer announces to the audience: Next day. The man walks back across stage,
followed by his a line of waddling penguins. Police officer stops the man again: I told
you to take the penguins to the zoo! Man replies, I did! They had a great time. Now Im
taking them to the movies.


ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
These skits are all included in this compilation because I would like to share the
enjoyment as widely as possible. They have been collected, organised and adapted
from my experience with youth organisations including schools, scouts, churches and
music camps.
As is often the case with songs and stories that belong in folklore, it is impossible to
trace authors of items in the form they have come to me. Some have been in several
publications from organisations including the NSW Dept. of Sport & Recreation, Scouts
Australia, the Y.M.C.A. and in more recent years in the internet. If you are concerned
about a possible copyright infringement then please let me know so that due recognition
can be given.
My thanks go to all the teachers, leaders and [most of all] children whose creativity has
been reproduced here, or inspired me to create several of the skits. I hope to continually
update the collection, so contributions are welcome!
Phillip Ward
September, 2013