"I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad

Carry you around when your arthritis is bad

All I wanna do is grow old with you.."

id say im a late bloomer. when most of my girlfriends are having their sweetie
pies and honey bunch.. im starting to have my crushes... when they have punch on
their parties.. i have spaghetti and hotdogs.

college...

their sweetie pie turned to sweetie.. honey bunch to honey.. from pony tail to
that curly-marimar-slash-slash-j-lo-hair. while i have nothing but my signature
"ciana-in-the-city" look.. oops, haha! not excatly what you have on your mind.. at
least a trace of it. they'd go to club, i'l go to bed. they would smoke.. and i
would have candies or choco.. but i go with them. im not a kill-joy-bunny.

then i turned 18...

the night after my debut party, papa talked to me.. (wait. lemme describe him
briefly, he looks like jonny depp and his attitude is that of Marcos. he's the
law. no-more, n0-less.)

Papa: Anak legal age kna..pede knang nagboyfriend. at curfew mo, hindi na 8 pm but
12 midnight.
Me: (kunyari serious.) talaga po? thank you po.. (plus hug and kis!)
Papa: and ineexpect ko na hindi mo aabusuhin.
Me: Opo. promise...

(darn! im human!) and just what he expects.. not a day did i abuse what he said..
i never had a boyfriend and i never went home later than the curfew.. (thats
because he sent me to a girls dorm. curfew time: TEN PI EM!!!!) haha!.. and i
never had a boylet-slash-boyfriend-slash-papa-slash-jowa, because i dont want to
get my heart broken. besides i feel like im not ready. i dont how to be a
girlfriend and how to handle a relationship.. (dear,ate charo..lalalala..)

but heres the thing.. my life naman is not as boring as how i described it. im out
going and i love fun.. you know! i had a normal life. im not neird or weird or
whatevet -eirds... i have crushes, i have manliligaw.. its just that i dont feel
like im ready. (damn.. so old school..)although im already eyeing my long time
secret crush and bestfriend, kuya andrew... (sabi ko, magiging boyfriend ko to..
tingnan mo lang! haha!) i waited till the 4th year.. il promised to have a
boyfriend after i graduated. if its not him. the other manliligaw..

and i broke it..

kuya had me as his girl, a day before i had my diploma. (yes, my kuya)

why?

1. i cant help it! haha!

2. i might loose him if i waited until the next day.
3. when his lips touched mine... gosh! (fiiiireworrrrrrks!!!) i knew it was love.
4. and im getting old! (ting! *big smile with a spark again!) and so.. dalaga
nako! hehe..

everything went smooth between us. no further elaboration. my parents love him. my
mom especially. and im loved by his family as well.
 I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

having someone that i could grow old with is the best graduation gift i had. i
know things might turn to the worst but at least, at the present.. i know i am
loved. im secured. i am precious... but he's away.. miles away.

I'll miss you Kiss you

Give you my coat when you are cold
Need you Feed you
i'll Even let ya hold the remote control

and i miss him. his eyes.. his nose (which i envy alot! grrr..) his lips.. the
smiles and the below-the-belt jokes.. our laughters and tears.. (nyaha!) the
dinners and movies weve shared.. choco nuts and pretzels.. letters.. the songs we
sing.. his hands on mine.. (darn! im dying... huhu!) all those simple things and
his everything..