The Inheritor

Cast:
Vedant Goyal: Host
Athena Huynh: Stranded Man, Spiritualist, Security Guard
Emily Shi: Ewe, Pilot
Jasmine Yang: Dingo, Passenger
(The skit takes place on the stage of a talk show. Facing the audience
are three chairs placed side-by-side, leaving a large area in the
middle. As the scene starts, Vedant enters, waving to the sound of
applause and music)
Host
Welcome to A World of Wacky! Im your host, Vedant Goyal, and today
we have some especially strange guests for you on the show. As you may
have heard, there was a flood three days ago in the Australian
outback, and one of the survivors was a man found clinging to a tree.
Oddly enough, even though he was bloodied and injured, the man refused
to be rescued unless he could bring a trussed sheep with him. Who is
this simpleton, you ask? Please give a hand for the Stranded Man!
(Stranded Man enters, waving politely to the audience)
Host
Thank you for coming. Please, have a seat.
(Both people sit, with the Host in the middle chair and the Stranded
Man to his right)
Host
Tell us, how did you and the ewe get on top of that tree on Lone Pine?
Stranded Man
Well, it started with the flood, and the realization that I had to get
to higher ground - fast. Trying to escape from the water, I headed for
the most elevated place that I could think of - Lone Pine Hill.
However, once there, I encountered a most frightening scene: a savage,
vicious dingo, snarling and gnashing its teeth at me. Thankfully, it
quickly became preoccupied with an ewe that was grazing nearby. At
first, I was extremely relieved to have something to divert the
dingos focus, waiting for it to attack that ewe so I could hoist
myself into the tree. Then, I began to pity the ewe, and there was a
long internal battle as I was torn between saving it or myself.
Host
In the end, you chose to save that ewe. Why would you do something
like that?
Stranded Man
Why not?
(Without warning, the Stranded Man leaps to his feet and confronts the
audience)
Stranded Man
Look, I know many of you think Im a fool for risking my life to save
that ewe, but I have my reasons. Firstly, I was more powerful than
that dingo, both defensively and offensively; the dog had more to fear
from me! Secondly, given the size of the island and the rising water
level, a scuffle with the dingo was inevitable. Since that was the
case, why should I have waited, when I could act and save both our
lives? Finally, being the sole human on that island, it was my duty to
protect the weak, innocent ewe from the cruelty of the dingo. If I
were to abandon it and leap to safety, I would be diminishing our kind
on this earth! Humans are the masters here; we are powerful, we are
intelligent, and most importantly, we are brave!
(Offstage, someone recreates the sound of a flood, at which the
Stranded Man startles and runs off screaming. The Host watches him go
with a patronizing expression, making a cuckoo sign to the audience)
Host
Wow. What a nutcase. Anyways, let us hear the opinion of the Dingo, as
our spiritualist summons him back from the dead.
(Wearing a black cloak, the Spiritualist enters and places a cloth on
the middle of the stage)
Spiritualist
(Nonsensical Chanting)
(Suddenly, the room goes dark, and the Dingo runs onto the stage,
standing on the cloth. There is an explosion, and when the lights turn
on again, the Dingo growls and howls at the audience)
Dingo
Who dares to awaken me from the afterlife?!
Host
Um, hello, Mr. Dingo. We just wanted to find out your perspective on
the events which took place at Lone Pine Hill.
Dingo
Ah, yes, Lone Pine Hill, the place where I met my untimely end.
(Pause) It was unfair, I tell you! Who does the Stranded Man think he
is, God?! What gives him the right to decide who gets to live and who
doesnt? I need to eat sheep to survive, just as most humans eat beef
or pork. Dingoes have feelings, too, and deserve equality! I had as
much right to live as that ewe and the man! DINGOES ARE PEOPLE TOO!
Host
All right, thank you Mr. Dingo.
(Throwing the cloth over the Dingo, the Spiritualist exits the stage.
The Host shakes his head)
Host
All this fuss over one little ewe. I wonder what makes her so special.
(Just then, the Ewe enters, prancing to and fro, oblivious to her
surroundings, so the Host has to snap his fingers to get her focus)
Host
Yoo hoo! Ewe! Over here!
Ewe
Hi there!
Host
Uh, yeah, hi. I was wondering if you could tell me what you think
happened on Lone Pine Hill.
(Both of them sit down on the chairs, with the Host in the middle and
the Ewe on his left)
Ewe
Sure! Let me see. Hmm... there was a dingo, and he was so scary
because he kept on following me around. I tried to get away from him,
but the water was blocking my path. Then, out of the blue, he attacked
me! I didnt even do anything wrong.
(Ewe starts crying)
Host
What about the Stranded Man? Do you remember him?
(Ewe immediately brightens up)
Ewe
Oh, yes! I want to thank the man who saved my life! He was so kind,
staying by my side during the whole ordeal. He was way better than the
horrifying dingo! (Pause) Do you have any grass? I'm so hungry!!
(Ewe runs off in pursuit of grass to eat)
Host
Wait!
(Attempting to chase after the ewe, the Host is stopped by the sound
of helicopters, and he looks around in bewilderment)
Host
What is this noise, and where is it coming from? Oh, look! It's the
mans rescuers! Hello!
(From upstage right, the Pilot and his Passenger enter. Cue applause.
Each of them shakes hands with the Host before sitting down)
Host
Can you please recount to us what you saw and felt during your amazing
rescue of the Stranded Man?
Pilot
Of course. So, after the flood, we were out searching for survivors
when we spotted a man and a trussed sheep on top of a tree. He was
covered with blood and injuries when I first saw him, clinging onto
the sheep and refusing to let it go no matter what. There was a
demented look in his eyes, and the way he held the ewe with both hands
made it seem like it had a golden fleece or something. It was the
funniest scene Id ever seen in my entire life! He must have been
head-over-heels in love that sheep!
(The Pilot laughs)
Passenger
Hey, you never know. The desolation of that island may have gotten to
him. Maybe, in his mind, the Stranded Man had a perfectly plausible
reason for saving that ewe. Personally, I am proud of what he did,
standing up for the poor, defenseless little ewe. It demonstrates that
he has courage, fortitude, and compassion, some of the best qualities
of the human race. In the end, what matters most is that he and the
ewe both came out alive. If the man had had an opportunity to preserve
two lives instead of one, why shouldnt he have used that chance?
Pilot
Geez! Youre as daft as that Stranded Man.
Passenger
Excuse me?!
(Offended, the Passenger pushes the Pilot, and a skirmish ensues)
Host
Uh oh. Security!
(The Security Guard enters and pulls the Pilot and Passenger apart)
Security Guard
Okay, you two, break it up. Im afraid Im going to have to take you
down to the station.
(Hanging their heads, the Pilot and Passenger are led off of the stage
by the security guard while the Host turns to address the audience)
Host
Sorry about that. What a crazy show, huh? Unfortunately, thats all
the time we have. Thank you for coming to watch our show, and we hope
to see you again next week. Until then!
(Applause)
~End~