Two Historical Examples

Publius Terentius Afar, much better known as a comediographer than as a

successful Roman banker, often imagined it would be nice if he could one day
become an ox. In order to at least approach that ideal. Terentius rearranged his villa,
that magnificent mansion next to Scipio’s gardens, into stables. Good Terentius
bought many cows and a lot of oxen; the one of them, who seemed the wisest, he took
for his companion and advisor.
To his clients, those shrewd toadies, Terentius ordered to address himself
exclusively as a Roman ox. The clients like clients, being plebeians without
prejudices, endlessly told the ox their personal troubles, whined for money, tried to
persuade his genius of the advantages of a small loan or into the brilliant outcome of
this or that business undertaking, while he would, with his ox’ essence, instead of
listening to their confessions, moot how could he with his too short tail manage to
drive away several truly annoying flies.

II

In the crazy autumn phantasies of a hairy character, who for years sat in
“Manege” restaurant drinking cold mixture of soda water and wine, grew fanciful idea
he was the great German rhapsodist and commander, Adolph Hitler. The guy was
convinced that it will be enough that he should buy an Argentinean passport, a green
bra, six old medals, sketchbook No. 3, a kilo of spicy sausages, half a loaf, a map of
Europe, a military uniform and a largish pistol and then, with these Thalia’s props,
awake people from their slumber and persuade them of some simple facts: that he is
Adolph Hitler, “Manege” – Wolf Schanze, Belgrade – Berlin, and his, paramour,
stunted and eternally soused Nataly – Eva Braun.
He would sit in “Manege”, stare at the map, whistle “Marseillaise”, pushing
small flags into that colored paper, drink spritzers, gobble sausages, waiting for the
moment when trumpets would blast, arms rattle, when his glum generals will march
in or when some stupid leftist, a street jerk would approach and to whom he will offer
historical opportunity to kill half a restaurant in an attempt to assassinate the beloved
Führer.