Running Head: A GLIMPSE OF INDEPENDENCE

A Glimpse Of Independence
Leilani Torres
Nevada State College
October 12, 2014

Running Head: A GLIMPSE OF INDEPENDENCE
Every time I entered the doors of my own home I felt trapped like a bird in a cage
looking to be free. I was a rebellious teenager in high school who could not help but wait to gain
freedom from my control freak parents. Some teenagers stayed submissive to their parents,
unlike them, I fought for my independence. Once I won the battle for freedom against my parents
I realized how difficult being on your own could be.
As I opened the door I already felt a bad vibe creeping out of this negative environment I
called home. Starving, after long day filled with boring high school lectures, I stepped into the
kitchen looking for something I could stuff my face with. I came across a package of beef
flavored ramen noodles and settled for that. I cooked it, sat down, and began to eat. As I
ferociously consumed the over-cooked noodles my mother randomly went off at me. She yelled,
Youre never home! What did I do wrong while raising you?
Hearing things like this was a part of my daily routine along with how I wouldnt amount
to anything in life. As a result, I felt insecure and put down by her words and wanted to go out to
take my mind off it, once again. After I quickly finished my ramen noodles I made plans with
friends that night.
Once I entered my cage and laid exhaustedly in my bed from all the fun I had with my
schoolmates, midnight was approaching. My father loudly busted into my room, infuriated I had
gone out. It is 12 a.m.! You cant come and go as you please! You are no longer my daughter!
If you live in my house you follow my rules! Come home at the right time from now on!
screamed my father.
My mother followed in behind him, We dont care about you! Youre just a stranger that
we live with now! She said angrily, while snatching my phone. I sat there trying to tune them
Running Head: A GLIMPSE OF INDEPENDENCE
out, but they continued to scream and cuss at me until we both grew tired and finally went to
bed.
I went to work the next day in a terrible mood. I couldnt take living with my parents any
longer. I robustly contemplated if I wanted to leave and be on my own. I was depressed by what
my parents said, but the idea of being independent and doing as I please seemed like a dream
come true to me.
On my break I called my best friend Therese, I need a place to stay, until I can get back
on my feet. Can you pick me up when I get off? She was confused and frantic, but she agreed to
it. As the end of my shift grew closer, the clock seemed to tick slower and slower. Finally, 10:00
pm struck. I decided to live with Therese. I wont be coming home. I hope you respect my
decision I texted my parents.
I sat waiting, terrified at what my parents might say to me. My phone vibrated louder
than ever. I opened the text message and read only one word, Bye. I thought I would be happy
by their reaction, but in all reality I was devastated. Thereses older brother picked me up and
we made our way to my new home. Surprisingly, I found myself crying the whole ride there. I
began to grow scared of what the future might hold for me. I asked myself questions like, how
am I going to do this? Where am I going to make more money? Will I be able to support myself?
It was day one of being on my own. I was depressed, but I still tried to keep my
composure. I woke up remembering I had no clothes but the ones on my back (which was my
Taco Bell uniform). I had to ask Therese to borrow whatever clothes could fit me so I could go to
school dressed appropriately. She found me a pile of clothes that she was willing to donate to
me. It wasnt much, but it sufficed. I wore a wrinkly plain white T-shirt with tacky torn up jeans.
Running Head: A GLIMPSE OF INDEPENDENCE
I looked at myself in the mirror and reminisced about my closet full of my favorite shirts and
skirts I left back at my parents house and began to miss home. There was no way I was going to
be able to afford buying myself a whole new wardrobe and knew that whatever clothes she gave
me were the ones I had to deal with wearing at the moment.
I only had two classes to attend that day and I spent my time in class trying to think of
how I was going to make a living for myself. All I knew was I needed to find reliable
transportation that could take me to school and work every day. I wasnt licensed yet so I found
myself depending on taxis. Unfortunately they were extremely expensive. Taking a taxi from
school and work started to take a toll on my bank account after a few days. I left my parents
house with $250 thinking it was enough for the time being, but it didnt last me very long, and
my bank account now read $15.35.
Realization struck me that I needed money quick if I was going to survive out here. I
requested to work more hours. It was a primary goal of mine to move out of Thereses house as
soon as possible and get my own apartment because I felt ashamed of staying there for free. I
found myself working longer shifts and asking for over-time. I was working 5 days a week at this
point. I trained myself to run on 3 hours of sleep due to the fact I had to complete my homework
after work and still wake up at 6 o clock in the morning to attend school.
As the days passed by, the lack of sleep started to affect my schoolwork. I was sitting in
my culinary class as my teacher handed out progress reports. I received mine. I unfolded the
paper slowly afraid to look at my grades. As expected, I had two Ds and three Fs. Tears began
to trickle down my cheeks as I stared at that piece of paper. I used to be recognized as an A&B
honor roll student, who was now taking regular classes and failing them. Eventually, I gave up
Running Head: A GLIMPSE OF INDEPENDENCE
on my education and started cutting class because my job and my sleep became priorities over
school.
The stress from failing all my classes later got to me. I received a letter saying I was in
serious danger of not graduating. I felt as if I was headed down a dark path with no bright future
ahead of me. Life seemed so hard and it didnt look like it was going to get any better for me. All
I foresaw in my later life was a lot of hard work, yet a pay check to pay check lifestyle. I knew I
needed to do better in school to avoid that, but I needed to make money immediately to provide
for myself as well. I felt overwhelmed and afraid of what might lie ahead of me and was ready to
give up. I knew I was alone and it seemed like I had no one to rely on, but myself. I had no one,
not even my family anymore. Is this what Independence felt like? Loneliness?
Sooner or later, I became depressed and gave up on my responsibilities all together. I
stopped going to school and recklessly spent money. I drank all my problems away, partied all
night, and slept all day. I had this strange idea that I wasnt going anywhere in life anyway so
why bother trying? I cared about nothing, including myself. I was at my lowest of times. I finally
hit rock bottom.
I wake up one morning completely drained of hope for the future. It has been 2 months
since I left home. I was failing all my classes and I had no money. I felt a sudden longing to be
with my parents and siblings. I was living with no guidance and no motivation to take care of
myself. Suddenly, RING! RING! RING! I looked at my phone. It was my sister calling. I picked
it up. Hello?I answered. Were coming to get you. Send me the address, were taking you
home. The drive home felt so long. We finally pulled up to my house and I calmly opened the
door. I walked up the steps into the living room and there was my Mom and Dad peacefully
Running Head: A GLIMPSE OF INDEPENDENCE
smiling, just waiting for me. I hugged them and constantly apologized for running away. It never
felt so good to be home.
Today, I still live with my parents. I am attending college and also have a better paying
job. My mom and dad fully support me with achieving my dreams and are always there when I
need them. I believe that the experience of being on my own at a young age was a revelation that
showed me being independent too soon is rough, especially since I was an 18 year old in high
school. I unknowingly went into adulthood as a kid, not aware of all the stress and hard work it
takes to support oneself with no help from anyone and unprepared.