Josephine Padgett

Dr. Helen Lovejoy

Honors English 101
10 Oct. 2014
Get Ahead by Going Back
My mothers most recent husband, Alan, worked for the University of Washington for
twenty-three years before being forced into early retirement. He was what I like to call a
catchy quip writer for the college, although his actual title was Publications Editor. He often
likes to tell anyone and everyone about what he refers to as his best works. These stories can
be aggravatingly boring and most of the time I am not mentally present for them. Out of all of
the work he has shown me or told me about, I can only remember one of his little University of
Washington Slogans. His adamance of it being the best thing he has ever written-- the pinnacle
of his career, coupled with the dramatic pauses he likes to use before the big reveal-- factors
into why it sticks out. The actual, intended message of the slogan has never impressed me. The
drama he uses in telling about it, though, is fairly impressive. Imagine a grey haired, bad-hipped,
bohemian, beret-wearing Santa Claus. Include here Alan droning on and on, a thirty minute
precursor to the big reveal. Pause --wait for it-- the twinkle in his eye getting brighter as you
shift awkwardly in your seat, his hands flashing across your vision, conjuring up a brightly lit
billboard, with big, wet, black letters. Get Ahead By going Back! His expectant smile is
huge, and he awaits your reaction. As the climax of his lifes work, I have always been, and
forever will be, wholly unimpressed.
Intentionally having a conversation with Alan is not something I normally subject myself
to. He tends to stray from topics the same way my mother strays in shopping malls.

Conversations and outings with the both of them is a lot like herding cats; hence the reluctance
to sit in a crowded, distracting diner with the two of them. But, in order to fully understand the
context behind this ad campaign Alan wrote for the University of Washington, I needed to
invite him to breakfast for a personal interview, and seeing as how my mother is the only one
who can still drive, she tagged along. Much to my surprise, during breakfast he stayed pretty
focused and I learned a lot more about the campaign, and why it has some very real and heavy
significance to him.
Alan loved his job at the university. He has always fancied himself quite the writer.
Around the time he was given the assignment to write this slogan for a new ad campaign for
the Continuing Education Department, he had some new and intimidating competition. His very
own department was hiring on fresh, young faces straight out of grad school, and the pressure
was on not only create incredibly successful ad campaigns, but also for Alan himself to refresh
his writing skills by going back to college. In the way that Alan describes it, his bosses were
minimizing [his] abilities and emphasizing [his] deficiencies. They were pressuring him to not
only write a truly successful campaign slogan, but to also take heed and follow its advice. The
University of Washington wanted Alans department to inspire working professionals with
college degrees to come back to school. They needed to sell certificate programs. The slogan
Get Ahead by Going Back was indeed incredibly successful for the university. It graced the
pages of the Seattle Times and the Puget Sound Business Journal, and it sold thousands of
certificate programs. Unfortunately for Alan, his greatest success only bought him a few more
years as Publications Editor. He was eventually forced into an early retirement as he was

unwilling to take the classes himself and the young graduates with fresh degrees took over his
throne.
I have never been a part of the demographic targeted for a continuing education ad
campaign. I have a college education, but no degree. I have never had any desire to have a
career. The thought of doing the same thing, in the same place, like Alan --for years-- makes me
want to claw my own eyes out. I have always been a little nomadic, and I have never had the
attention span to stick to one line of work for too long. I dont require a ton of money to
maintain my lifestyle. I dont plan on ever having a mortgage. I would wither and die if I ever
found myself with a white picket fence, a golden retriever, and babies. The idea of picking a
subject, and then dedicating myself for four years to the drudgery of obtaining a degree in that
subject, is comical to me. To quote one of my favorite movies, I think careers are a twenty-first
century invention, and I dont want one (Into the Wild). I dont want to answer to lukewarm
obligations in a nine-to-five like everyone else. Who really finds satisfaction in that? I have
spent fourteen years working dead end jobs and figuring out exactly what I dont want to do. I
have done everything from having creepy, middle-aged suits worship my feet for money, to
shuttling Sturgeon caviar across the Canadian border. Name a random dead end job and I can
guarantee you Ive been there, and done it. My resume reads like a season schedule from Dirty
Jobs. In spending half of my life making someone else money --in furthering their businesses
and being completely looked over for lack of a college degree-- I have found my true desires. I
have officially stepped away from the pack and onto my own unique path. I am so thankful that
none of my previous employers saw my potential. Its terrifying to think that I could have been
groomed for a soul-crushing career in grocery store management or life insurance sales.

I will never be the demographic that the University of Washington was targeting. Im not
going back to college to refresh an aging and mundane degree. I am going back to college to
learn a dying trade. The demand for welders (particularly in Alaska) is ridiculously high. If you
dont mind working in terrible conditions under the threat of potentially setting yourself on fire
constantly, you can make two years salary in three to four months. Personally, I love working
illegally long hours, and I love fire. I thrive in hazardous working conditions. In order to make
enough money to do whatever the hell I want for nine months out of the year, I am willing to
risk my life on a job site.
I guess I am getting ahead by going back after all; going to college now ensures that I
wont be working a boring customer service job at minimum wage ever again. I will have a real
skill that I can make good money with, and I wont have to settle for just any job. I am
capitalizing on that sugary sweet spot where what Im good at (long hours; hand-eye
coordination; tiny, minute details) coincides with what I am completely obsessed with: Fire!
Danger! And being a generally heroic badass!

Works Cited
Bine, Alan. Personal interview. 5 October 2014.
Into the Wild. Dir. Sean Penn. Perf. Emile Hirsch, Vince Vaughn, Catherine Keener. Paramount
Vantage, 2007. Film.