Running head: WHO AM I?

Who Am I?
Amanda Cheng
California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo

WHO AM I?

A man duhhh shouted my friend L.Q. She said it with a long pause in between each
syllable to emphasize the way she said my name. I turned around and gave her a mean look as if
I was really mad but soon after I laughed along with her. My real name is Amanda but A man
duhhh is just one of the few names my friends have given me. Throughout the years, I have
acquired many nicknames and labels that describe who I am.
The nickname A man duhhh was made when we were all teasing each other by
changing our names into other random names. For me, they came up with A man duhhh
because it sounded about the same as Amanda and they were comparing me to a stereotypical
girl, who loves to wear dresses and skirts with shiny and frilly accessories. However, I wasnt
that type of girl, I did not wear makeup or do my hair. Therefore they said that is why my
parents named me Amanda. Because I knew we were just teasing and messing around, it did not
offend me. And since I knew that they did not expect me to look fashionable or care about the
way I dressed, I did not pay much attention to my looks. Near the end of my high school years, I
realized how I changed slowly to dressing less fashionable and stopped looking in the mirror as
much as I use to. I put on simple clothes and sometimes dressed sloppily. At times, I did not
bother to comb my hair or make it look stylish. Luckily my hair is the type that does not get very
messy when I wake up so it looks about the same as when I do comb it. Once I realized what I
have become, I tried to dress in a more decent manner instead of being a slob.
Besides being called A man duhhh, I was also referred to as the quiet and shy one in
class. The reason is because I am very uncomfortable being in a classroom with many students
that I did not know. The classroom has always given me the perception of having to behave or
trouble will come. It also gives the unpleasant feeling of always being told what to do. Not
knowing many of the other students well, I did not talk much or do anything that would capture

WHO AM I?

their attention because I did not want to be judged the wrong way. As a result, I stayed quiet and
sat at the side of the classroom instead of the middle. It was as if I was not there. Even though
half of the school year had passed, I still was not accustomed with speaking out loud and being
myself. I was afraid and continued to stick to the quiet and shy girl impression that people had
of me. This is something I am not proud of and I wish that I could have at least tried to be more
interactive with the class.
After class is when things were different. I tend to be more talkative and more open. It
was easier for me to be myself outside than when I am confined in the dreadful walls of a
classroom. I laughed and talk more loudly than I could in class. It was fun, comfortable and
exciting. This was also the time I gained another label. It was silent but deadly. My other
friend M.T. said that it clearly represented who I was. It was a joke for how I am when I mess
around with my friends. She said that even though I may seem quiet and shy, I am a lot more
different than I seem as she got to know me more. My other friend S.Y. agreed and said that he
finally understood the meaning of the saying Dont judge a book by its cover. He also said his
first impression of me was completely different from what I was like when he got to know me
and it was as if it was a lie from the beginning. He thought that I was a quiet and shy girl, but it
turns out that once he got to know me I seemed playful, childish, and sarcastic. I am quiet and
shy when I first meet people and I also tend to be more careful about what I say because I am not
sure of what I can and cannot say to them. Only until after I get to know the person more and
understand what type of person they are, is when I can express myself more openly. Currently, I
am trying to be more open and be more like myself from the start.
The kind of person that I would like to be is someone who is confident, approachable,
and good. I would like to gain confidence because I will then have the courage to express myself

WHO AM I?

and be more comfortable in many situations. It can also lessen the chances of people picking on
me compared to those that are shy and quiet. Other than gaining confidence, becoming a good
person is the most important thing to me. It will make me satisfied to know that I am a good
person which will allow me to build good relationships with people. With the characteristics I
previously mentioned, I will be able to become more approachable and gain the chance to
interact with many people.
Now that I am in California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo, I have an
opportunity to start anew. All of my old labels can be thrown out and I can change how I am
now to the way I want to be.