Writing 331 Portfolio

Alexa Tombs
Professor Genoa Shepley

Revision is realizing the mistakes that you made, fixing them when applying them to the final
draft, and fully understanding why they were errors in the first place. Revision shows that you
recognize what went wrong and that you are willing to adjust the mistakes to the correct form.
Revision is essential in writing courses, especially Writing 331.
Out of all of the 8 projects that we completed throughout the semester that would ultimately
make up a Media Kit, announcement new release, feature news release, backgrounder, copy
platform, fact sheet, pitches, website, brochure, I chose to revise my backgrounder, fact sheet,
and pitch email. However, choosing which projects I would like to revise was not an easy
decision. Each project I completed for class has the potential to be better, but that goes for
everyone. There is always room for improvement in everything that you do; you just need to
find where that improvement needs to be. I felt that the three projects I chose needed to be
revised and improved the most.
I found the backgrounder to actually be more of the more difficult projects. A backgrounder
supplements a news release. It can be a biography or a key individual mentioned in the news
release, giving background and history of the subject. This project was one of the more difficult
ones because for me I struggled with getting the right information into it. I started with a very
short backgrounder as my first draft, only one page long. I had a hard time finding a good length
for the backgrounder. During peer review, every member of my group told me to make it longer.
Samantha Billings suggested, I would add more information about each member of the band
and what they have been doing since the groups breakup. I thought this idea was a good one,
so that is the first revision I made to the backgrounder, ultimately helping with the length as well.
The next helpful piece of advice from the peer evaluations was from Lea Meli when she
suggested, Possibly putting in more information about their success as a band before they broke
up would add more effect to it. I liked this suggestion. Again also helping with the length of
the backgrounder, I decided to add information about the boys success. I added things like their
platinum records, and their most popular songs. A smaller cosmetic, yet important, revision that
I made to the backgrounder was adding -Over- to the bottom of the first page and ### to the
bottom of the second page. I didnt have these in the first draft because my backgrounder was
only a page long.
The second project that I decided to revise was the fact sheet. A fact sheet is a what, who, when,
where, why, how outline also accompanying a news release. This striped-down presentation
helps some editors because it is not written as a newspaper story, simply stating the facts. There
was much that was wrong with my fact sheet when it was handed in, grammatically and
cosmetically. In my first draft, the title of the fact sheet read, Infamous boy band NSync
announces one night comeback show. As you can see, there is much that needed to be revised
about this sentence. The first word of the sentence was used incorrectly, so that was the first

change that I made. Then I took the suggestion made on the draft that I handed in to change one
night comeback show to final performance. After the many revisions and changes to the title,
it finally read, Legendary boy band NSync announces final performance before break up.
After fixing the title sentence, I moved on to the rest of the fact sheet. The what section of my
fact sheet required much more information than what I originally had their. I started off with
only three sentences and after the revisions I ended up with seven, each one important to the
category. After that was done, I only had minor changes to the rest of the fact sheet, such as
switching around words in the where and when categories.
The last project that I decided to revise was the pitch email. A pitch email is written to persuade
an individual journalist or blogger to write the story described in the pitch. I enjoyed this project
the most. I liked the task of writing to someone in attempted to get them to write the story
youre talking about. My original draft of my pitch email was not nearly as good as it should
have been. It was short and left out much information. I also did not start with a fascinating
story. What I started with the first time was not very intriguing. When I was revising the hook
to draw in the journalist, I was trying to think of it in a way that I would want to read it. What
sounded interesting enough to draw me in? What I came up with I think would draw in a
journalist so much that she would want to write the story tomorrow. The part that I struggled
with the most was the second part of the email, stating the purpose of the pitch. In the first draft,
this paragraph was extremely short, mostly because I was confused about the information that
should go into it. However, in the peer review Lea Meli suggested, In my pitch email in the
second section I put the last time that my performer had a concert. I felt that this would be a
strong thing to put into a story because it would show that it was time for him to have another
concert, one that all of his fans should go to. I liked the suggestion of this, especially for a band
that has not performed a concert together in a very long time. So I added that to the second part
of the email. The last major revision that I made to the pitch was describing what will happen
next. I left this part out. So right before I signed my name in the email, I stated how in a few
days I would be calling back to see if the journalist wanted to write the story or not. After all of
the major revisions were made, all that was left were cosmetic changes which can be seen in the
attached revised draft.
Although there were many revisions to be made in each of the documents that I chose, there was
also much strength. In each document my header, including the details of my PR firm and my
contact information, was the same and was in the correct format according to the textbook,
Strategic Writing. This leads into what I have learned over the course of this semester about
public relations writing. The textbook, Strategic Writing, was the perfect thing to have handy
when completing each of the eight documents during the semester. I thought that I had the right
structure and format when writing a press release before taking the class, however now I see that

there are different types of press releases, each with their own format. I learned that it is
imperative to understand your audience. This helps with the writing of the documents, the
language to use and the style. Being a public relations major, I found this course to be extremely
interesting and valuable. Everything that I learned over the course of this semester will be used
in my career as a publicist.
** Writing Samples Below **

Star PR
353 West 34th Street
New York, N.Y. 10007
914-567-0098

Backgrounder
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
December, 14, 2014

FOR MORE INFORMATION, CONTACT

Alexa Tombs
Director of Media Relations
914-567-0098
alexa_tombs@starPR.com

NSync: Then and Now

NSync brought together 5 boys, all from different backgrounds. Chris Krikpatrick was
the original idea of NSync when he missed the cut for the Backstreet Boys and decided to create
a second all-male group. Kirkpatrick decided to call his friend Joey Fatone to join the group.
Their producer and financier found the next member, Justin Timberlake, of the Mickey Mouse
Club. Once they got him on board, Justin told them about his friend JC Chasez, also a member
of the Mickey Mouse Club. Once they had all of these boys together, they needed a bassist.
They were able to get Lance Bass, who was Justin Timberlakes vocal coach.
From the time they were created till their hiatus, NSync had gone on four international
tours, won multiple platinum records for their albums, and had won over fans hearts all around
the world. NSyncs songs were heard all over the radio. Their most recognizable hits include,
Bye, Bye, Bye, I Want You Back, Tearin Up My Heart, and Girlfriend. Their No
Strings Attached album, which featured song Bye, Bye, Bye, received a Diamond
Certification for sales of over 11,099,000. The groups third album was the most important to

-Overthem because members Chasez and Timberlake wrote and produced several tracks on it.
Everything has seemed to be on a high and going well for NSync. When they went on their
hiatus in 2006, fans were shocked and thoroughly disappointed.
Today the boys of the band have all been doing their own thing. Justin Timberlake, the
lead singer, has been the most successful in the industry. Justin went on to pursue acting as well
as his solo music career. He was seen in The Social Network, Bad Teacher, and In Time. His
music career however is what really progressed. Justin has been on three international tours
since leaving NSync. JC Chasez produced an album of his own and also appeared as a judge on
the MTV show Americas Best Dance Crew. Lance Bass did not do as much as the others with
music as he did with TV. Lance was on 7th Heaven for many episodes while filming his movie
On the Line. Lance was also a contestant on the show Dancing with the Stars. Joey Fatone costarred in the movie On the Line with Bass. He also did voice over work for The Simpsons, Kim
Possible and Robot Chicken. Fatone then went on to lead the Broadway plays Rent and Little
Shop of Horrors. Also like his bandmate, Bass, Fatone was a contestant on Dancing with the
Stars. Chris Krikpatrick did not do nearly as much as the others. After NSync he went on to be
on the show Gone Country, but that was the extent to his TV career. He married his wife and has
been settled with her ever since.

###

Star PR
353 West 34th Street
New York, NY 10007
914-567-0098

FACT SHEET
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
December 14, 2014

FOR MORE INFORMATION, CONTACT

Alexa Tombs
Director of Media Relations
914-567-0098
alexa_tombs@starPR.com

Legendary boy band NSync announces final performance before break up

What:

The men who make up the boy band NSync will be returning to the stage for just
one last time before their mutual break up. They have yet to perform a show of their
own since the bands hiatus in 2006, only having performed at the MTV Music Awards
in 2013. Before the hiatus, the men had been on four worldwide tours and had multiple
platinum awards for the groups records.
To kick off the night, the opening acts will include singers Jason Derulo and Bruno
Mars, performing their most famous singles.

Who:

Justin Timberlake, Bruno Mars, Lance Bass, Jason Derulo, Joey Fatone, JC Chasez,
Chris Kirkpatrick and surprise guests.

Where:
York.

The concert will be held at Madison Square Garden in New York City, New
4 Pennsylvania Plaza, New York, NY 10001

When:

The show will take place on Dec. 14, 2014 at 7:00 p.m.

Why:

After their critically acclaimed performance on the NTV Music Awards, NSync has
decided to reunite one last time at the iconic Madison Square Garden.
This is something that weve been thinking about doing for a very long time. Our
careers all took us in different directions, but we will always be NSync when we are
-Over-

together. Its good we comeback one more time to be NSync again before its over for
good. Not just for us, but for our fans.
-

Press Call:

Justin Timberlake, Lead Singer of NSync

5:00 p.m. For credentials contact Alexa Tombs.

###

To:

Subject:

CraigRosen@TheHollywoodReporter.com

For Craig Rosen: Exclusive on NSync Comeback Concert

Mr. Rosen:
The song, Tearin Up My Heart, captured teens hearts all around the world in 1997 when it was
released as a third single for NSync. These teen hearts were recaptured with every song that
then released after that, from Bye, Bye, Bye to I Want You Back. The boys of NSync broke
these little teen hearts when they announced their hiatus in 2006. Its time for these now older
hearts to finally be put back together for NSyncs one night only comeback show.
I think the story of NSyncs reunion would be fitting for The Hollywood Reporter magazine.
NSync has yet to perform a concert of their own since their last worldwide tour in 2002. The
only time NSync has performed together since their hiatus was when they performed at the
MTV Music Awards in 2013. Your recent sequence of pop culture concert updates would be the
perfect platform for this story. The boys fans are all ecstatic over this event and I believe that
this story would be a perfect addition to your concert series.
We are offering NSyncs story exclusively to The Hollywood Reporter, so I need to be sure of
your interest in it fairly soon. NSync would fully cooperate with any and all writers and
photographers you assign. We are also willing to help you arrange any interviews with the
members of the band or anyone else associated with them. Please let me know of any ways that
we could be of assistance. My direct phone line is 555-865-0975.
I will call Friday, May. 9, to see if you wish to proceed with the story and also if so, how I could
be of any help with it. Thank you so much for your time and consideration.
Alexa Tombs
Alexa Tombs
Director of Public Relations
Star PR
555-865-0975
alexa_tombs@StarPR.com