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Kar Shin Lin

Ms. Thompson
AP Language 2A
6 May 2015
DAP: Theocracy Research Paper
While writing this research paper, there are a few things that I believe I exceled at, while
also noticing a few aspects that I could have improved. I really like the introduction of my
research paper because although the point of the paper is to explain the rise and fall of
theocracies, it generalizes the topic so that even the reader feels a connection. This generalization
followed by a specific thesis allows the reader to follow along. My use of a myriad of vocabulary
words keeps the paper at a high level. Words such as dogmatic are in theme with the papers
purpose. I think my papers organization is also well thought out because it gives the reader
enough background to understand the side of theocracies I am presenting.
The dislikes throughout my paper, in my opinion, did not detract in quality overall, but
these are just a few weak areas that might need improvement. Even though I believe I gave a
thorough background of the various religions that have dealt with theocracies, I may have gone
into too much detail. This superfluous information may detract from the argument I make about
the vitality of theocracies. I tried to stray away from using too many quotations and instead used
paraphrasing, but more quotations might actually add an appeal to authority.
Lastly, as I was writing this paper, I was challenged by several facets and had to work
hard in order to overcome them and make my paper better. Perhaps the most challenging aspect
of this research paper was figuring out how to organize and deliver the plethora of information I
collected. I tested out various methods with my outline and decided to use the format that I

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thought conveyed the most cogent argument. The use of paraphrasing and quotations at times
seemed choppy and unwarranted in the passage at hand, while at other times seemed necessary. I
had to decide where the use of evidence would be most effective.