A Lesson in

Queer Studies
Lauren Zahn

PEANUTS presents
Fast Times at Queer Lane Elementary:
A Basic Journey through Queerdom
Charlie
Brown,
Linus, and
Snoopy
nervously
await their
journey
into the
unknown

LESSON 1: MATHEMATICS

The gang had

always been
told that 2 plus
2 is always 4.
Not at this
school. Queer
studies in math
are a zone of
possibilities -in
addition,

LESSON 2: GEOMETRY
Sally
encounters the
world of
shapes. Asked
to copy the
next shape in
each
sequence, she
assumes it will
be a mere
action of

LESSON 3: LANGUAGE
Snoopy must
unscramble these
words associated with
baseball. Without the
ordinary constraints of
normal thought, he is
free to throw the words
in any direction he
wishes. This school
teaches the fact that
appearance of stability
is but an illusion...

LESSON 4: MAKING
FRIENDS
Love is bound by the
plague of
heteronormativity. Linus
and Charlie Brown never
knew their feelings of
deep friendship was in
fact romance! The boys
gaze at eachother in the
classroom of Queer
Elementary.. They had
always been told it was
only natural to like girls.
Now, the boys could see
the whole range of
possiblities

LESSON 5: READING
IMAGERY
The gang is hit by
images which are
completely identical, yet are
faced with the prospect of
finding a unique Lucy. What
would they do? The
teacher, observing their
confusion, informs the class
that there can be no
general definition of
different or normal. Aren't
all 5 of the Lucy's in
someway performance
anyways? At Queer
Elementary, thats what is
taught.

LESSON 6: NUMERICAL
ORDER
Connecting the
dots presumes a
founding principle
of numerical logic.
Here, all logic is
thrown out the
window. An image
can be whatever
you want it to
be...no questions
asked. The
appeal to common
sense taught in
most elementary
schools is but dust
in the wind

The bell rings as the first day at Queer Lane

Elementary School ends. The Peanuts gang
jumps with joy. Their newfound queerness
offers a horizon of possibility. What would
Charles Schultz say?!

THE END
Charlie Brown Goes Queer (based on Charles Schultz Peanuts)
Charlie Brown
Snoopy
Linus van Pelt
Lucy van Pelt
Woodstock
Sally Brown
Peppermint Patty
Schroeder
Franklin
Pig-Pen
Images provided by:
http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/9509/Charlie_Brown.png
http://petcaretips.net/schulzLR.jpg
Quotes provided by:
Nikki Sullivans A Critical Intro to Queer Theory
Anne Jagoses Queer Theory
Music provided by:
A-Ha Take On Me
Vince Gualardi Trio A Charlie Brown Christmas