PARTS THREE To EIGHT

PART 3: MKs NUTS AND BOLTS
SurveyMonkey
Q1 Because Im an MK, I:
Answered: 728
Skipped: 15
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
Have over-developed
roots (crave
permanence and
dislike change)
Have over-developed
wings (crave change
and dislike
permanence)
Have found a balance

between roots and
wings
Answer Choices
Responses
Have over-developed roots (crave permanence and dislike change)
20.60%
150
Have over-developed wings (crave change and dislike permanence)
28.16%
205
Have found a balance between roots and wings
51.24%
373
Total
728
Use this space for any comments
Date
Somehow I find myself changing homes and cities and States and even countries at an alarming rate. (well over
20 moves since leaving mom & dad, 37 years ago)
6/27/2015 5:24 AM
I do not understand this.
6/27/2015 2:55 AM
i have no idea if it is BECAUSE i am an MK...many others who are not MKs can have these same things
6/26/2015 11:07 PM
Oh my gosh, yes. I remember teling my fiancee the greatest compliment, that with her I felt like I had a home.
6/26/2015 10:39 PM
I crave permanence, but don't know how to be permanent. I get antsy about every three months or so and have
to reevaluate!
6/26/2015 10:09 PM
Find myself leaning towards birth in certain situations
6/26/2015 7:37 PM
have been a missionary for 22 years so after living in 4 different places still have the feeling of not having roots
6/26/2015 7:04 PM
not had a problem with this - my problem is lines on maps . . . never being recognized as a citizen, not being able
to be with my spouse and children due to nationalities/lines on maps
6/26/2015 6:40 PM
I think I have found a decent balance but the desire to up and travel is often huge.:)
6/26/2015 4:44 PM
10
One of my hardest lessons was learning that if I willing to go "anywhere" in obedience to God
6/26/2015 2:27 PM
11
2 yrs is about our maximum.
6/26/2015 8:17 AM
12
Not sure if it's my MK background or my personality
6/26/2015 6:11 AM
13
I'm not sure, but I say I think I've found a balance because I do crave permanence, but it has not stopped me
from making moves across the world when God's called me.
6/26/2015 5:17 AM
14
I haven't been in a permanent situation long enough to know how I'll cope, but I'm fine so far.
6/26/2015 1:33 AM
1 / 157
SurveyMonkey
15
I naturally dislike change and have a desire for permanence, but because of my background and travel/moving, I
can't imagine living in one place for too long and start to get "itchy feet" to at the very least travel
6/26/2015 1:19 AM
16
I'm only in my 4th year of college. I moved back in high school and haven't had the chance to leave, but I have
this desire to change locations as fast as I can.
6/25/2015 10:43 PM
17
but my life remains full of change
6/25/2015 8:28 PM
18
but both sides still cause pain
6/25/2015 6:58 PM
19
Finally settling down, buying a home in my late 40s. Frames are up on walls, seals it.
6/25/2015 6:30 PM
20
But I do think that I am finally beginning to find balance...
6/25/2015 1:39 PM
21
I think a Finnish school abroad (as I'm a Finn) helped me much to adapt to Finnish society after returning to
Finland at the age of 15.
6/25/2015 5:34 AM
22
and must get to an airport and fly once a year!
6/24/2015 11:17 PM
23
This took a while to happen however
6/24/2015 8:32 PM
24
This is changing as I have married an MK who can relate to me and me to her. it finally gives me a place of
belonging...a home. It's about relationship for me more than a place.
6/24/2015 5:04 PM
25
Battle private volatility and anxiety re: both roots and wings or attachment/detachment.
6/23/2015 11:03 PM
26
As a matter of fact due to circumstance I have settled somewhere almost certainly permanently, but this is not out
of a craving to do so. I was concerned I would feel a desperate need to move after a few years but it turns out I
am content, so I feel things are balanced in this area.
6/23/2015 9:33 AM
27
I crave permanence but feel like I don't know how to obtain it
6/20/2015 11:20 PM
28
Haven't found a balance - I vary between the over-developed roots in some aspects of life (church, family), but
have overdeveloped wings in other areas (like work, ambitions etc..)
6/19/2015 9:34 PM
29
Of course I don't know if my feeling of balance is due to being MK or not...
6/19/2015 5:59 AM
30
This question is so hard! I think that when I do not have a sense of permanence I strive for a taste of it. However
once I actually attain permanence, I buck it off. Because I know that I don't really want it, but it seems like the
'normal'. So shouldn't I want it? It is evident in the fact that ever since entering my passport country at the age of
19 (I am now 23) I have moved every 6-10 months. Sometimes it was in the same city, but sometimes it wasn't.
6/19/2015 3:27 AM
31
Neither. I have wings but crave roots
6/18/2015 8:39 PM
32
I am proud that my home is somewhere between the signs of arrivals and departures
6/18/2015 4:59 PM
33
Although I get restless more often than not, I also feel a sense of instability because of the constant change.
6/18/2015 3:44 PM
34
I've had twelve jobs in 12 years, only a few of which overlapped.
6/18/2015 10:26 AM
35
I tell my husband I need to get out of the US about every six months to stay sane
6/18/2015 5:07 AM
36
I fluctuate between the two but overall I want permanence
6/18/2015 1:39 AM
37
I tend to swing from over-developed wings to over-developed roots. I'm rooted in my marriage and friendships,
but often crave the adventure of moving to a new place. I get bored with living in the same place.
6/17/2015 10:35 PM
38
While attending college, I would refuse to leave the college town during the summer, prefering to stay and work
on campus. I eventually married a local boy and we are now settled right in town.
6/17/2015 9:57 PM
39
because I'm an MK I have no strong preference.
6/17/2015 5:12 PM
40
I crave permanence in friendships. I feel like relationships are all fleeting. But I crave change in where I am. I
don't want to stay here forever and I feel restless.
6/17/2015 3:13 PM
41
Both crave change / new places...but also deeply need and crave sense of permanence.
6/17/2015 3:09 PM
42
It took long time.
6/16/2015 2:49 PM
43
I'm planning to go rural Australia for 3 years after uni because I would hate to stay in Sydney.
6/16/2015 5:02 AM
44
For much of life I have wanted permanence but happier with the balance developed in the last 15 years.
6/15/2015 9:14 PM
2 / 157
SurveyMonkey
45
Something I've really wrestled with and still don't feel completely at home anywhere.
6/14/2015 10:47 PM
46
10 years after leaving the field I feel I have found balance. Before I pendulumed between the other 2 options.
6/14/2015 5:35 PM
47
Chris Gardner is my name and I have taken all three surveys. Without names I don't know that you will be able to
have true results.
6/14/2015 8:28 AM
48
I like perminance for a time, and after a bit crave change. The change can be big or small though. Big as in
moving to a differnet place. Small as in taking a trip somewhere or chaging the way my apartment looks (which
normally involes buying something).
6/14/2015 6:45 AM
49
I lived in the same place while I raised my kids. Now I've moved every year the last 8 years & can't seem to feel
at home anywhere now that I livealone
6/13/2015 9:43 PM
50
I run when situations get old-every couple of years I want to move interstate. And always crave holidays and
traveling. Routine actually makes me feel physically sick sometimes.
6/13/2015 6:27 PM
51
It took a long time!
6/13/2015 12:29 PM
52
When it comes to people, I love them deeply but I don't keep in touch well when they are gone.
6/12/2015 5:13 PM
53
I have found contentment in "temporary" permanence though I still yearn for change. I trust the Lord with this.
6/12/2015 6:37 AM
54
I crave permanence but feel restless after a few years and crave change
6/11/2015 11:30 PM
55
Maybe very developed wings, but still roots!!i love home, which is being with my family wherever they all are
(immediate mainly, but Lao love being with extended).
6/11/2015 8:18 PM
56
Have a personality that has low tolerance for unexpected change, but feel the urge to move every 2-3 years.
6/11/2015 8:18 PM
57
Not an easy question. I'm somewhere in between. I'm ok with with permanence but do get restless after a while
6/11/2015 6:33 AM
58
This has changed for me over time.
6/10/2015 10:42 PM
59
my sister is the opposite and will follow my parents to be a missionary in the same country
6/10/2015 9:55 PM
60
And yet now that I finally feel like I have established some roots, I start itching to travel!
6/10/2015 12:35 PM
61
More like I've recognized that whatever I have, I'll want the other.
6/10/2015 12:30 PM
62
I don't like to move and I don't like to say "goodbye".
6/10/2015 11:34 AM
63
I'm moving into balance but still need to scratch my itchy feet now and then.
6/10/2015 11:14 AM
64
Jobs and mortgages . . . it's like merrily wrapping yourself in chains.
6/10/2015 10:39 AM
65
I had overdeveloped wings for a while! It took some time for me to find balance.
6/10/2015 9:46 AM
66
I guess I crave permanence, but don't really know what that is yet, or whether I will like it when I have it.
6/10/2015 9:20 AM
67
I think in some ways I have unhealthy swings back and forth between the two. Not really having a balance but
having a few years of one and then the other.
6/9/2015 10:53 PM
68
When we get the itch to move and can't, we rearrange the furniture. Both of us are MK's.
6/9/2015 10:22 PM
69
I need to visit my parents' ministry country fairly often but feel rooted in the States
6/9/2015 9:46 PM
70
I'm a 74 yr old MK. I think I have found that balance more because of my age and lack of ability to be constantly
"ready to go"!
6/9/2015 9:30 PM
71
Or both over developed and suffer from ups and downs
6/9/2015 9:19 PM
72
survival demands balance. permanence is intellectual death, perpetual change is a kind of escape.
6/9/2015 8:38 PM
73
I yearn for roots, but I am amazed at my perrenial ability for rather substantial change.
6/9/2015 8:21 PM
74
I don't know
6/9/2015 7:43 PM
75
Waver between wanting roots and wings
6/9/2015 7:31 PM
76
I'm not convinced it's because I'm an mk
6/9/2015 6:55 PM
77
I crave permanence and struggle with change. However, I am forever restless and moving. But I don't know if I
have found a balance. I long for stability and long for change.
6/9/2015 6:39 PM
3 / 157
SurveyMonkey
78
I feel like it depends. In terms of where I live, I feel like I always crave change and I love the thrill of moving.
However, when it comes to people, I really crave permanent friends and family around me.
6/9/2015 6:09 PM
79
I'm afraid of what might happen if I live in the same place for too long
6/9/2015 5:55 PM
80
I still like to travel, as long as I can go home to the same place.
6/9/2015 5:42 PM
81
This balance is recent, though I still get restless being in one place too long and need a day trip to settle down
again
6/9/2015 5:34 PM
82
I have been at both these places, and still it varies.
6/9/2015 5:26 PM
83
I once had over-developed wings, because I was an MK. I got over that because I met people who helped me
balance myself.
6/9/2015 4:38 PM
84
...but am now a mom of my own MKs and still put up with change....
6/9/2015 4:29 PM
85
crave both and dislike both at different times
6/9/2015 4:27 PM
86
I feel like I have over-developed "roots" and "wings".
6/9/2015 4:22 PM
87
I would say I crave both change and permanence without especially disliking either.
6/9/2015 4:19 PM
88
I don't know that I've found a balance--I seem to vascillate between the first two options.
6/9/2015 4:11 PM
89
I can handle change but prefer time to adjust to even the Thot if it??
6/9/2015 3:20 PM
90
Also just personality type, I would guess. My brother is very traditional and likes things to stay the same.
6/9/2015 2:10 PM
91
But ironically don't want to travel
6/9/2015 12:36 PM
92
Spent 10 years as a very transient adult but now crave to stay put. However, still change jobs every few years.
6/9/2015 12:16 PM
93
I'm getting better at the balance, but sometimes I itch to roam for no apparent reason
6/9/2015 11:55 AM
94
More accurately for me- I'm continually trying to find a balance between the longing for roots and the longing for
wings.
6/9/2015 11:55 AM
95
not extreem but it is my preference
6/9/2015 10:35 AM
96
But it took some hard work to get here and I'll never fully lose my wings
6/9/2015 9:52 AM
97
I wouldn't use the word balance as much as it seems to switch between the two ideas
6/9/2015 8:16 AM
98
I continue to work internationally as an adult. Steady - with one organization over 20 years; change - 3 different
countries
6/9/2015 5:09 AM
99
I say I found balance, but really I swing between the two, craving change when things stay the same too long, but
then struggling when change comes along.
6/9/2015 2:56 AM
100
God gave me a non MK spouse who lives too move. A bigger gift than I initially realized.
6/9/2015 1:10 AM
101
Although I crave permanence, I'm always afraid of it. I'm afraid of getting bored and staying one place for too
long. My mind is always wondering what the next adventure is going to be.
6/9/2015 12:44 AM
102
And I love the flexibility that this gives me.
6/8/2015 10:39 PM
103
I have learned to recognize this tendency and use strategies (like "window shopping" for houses online) when the
urge hits.
6/8/2015 10:09 PM
104
Every spring I feel like up and moving! It's like a few weeks of travel fever and then the itch goes away and overall
I'm happy to have roots!
6/8/2015 10:00 PM
105
Grounded work and living. ADD when it comes to hobbies, travel
6/8/2015 9:51 PM
106
I see an underlying inflexibility towards change or trying new things as a result of this. A fear, even, of the future. I
attributed this to possibly a scarcity issue--always a concern if we have the money for it, or if this is the best
stewardship of our money. And then there's the guilt about having things! Anyway, my initial thoughts on this
question alone.
6/8/2015 9:22 PM
107
It took me about 20 years! I'm content at home...but I miss traveling
6/8/2015 8:42 PM
4 / 157

108
SurveyMonkey
After about 10-12 yrs of craving change I have now finally found a balance but I still long to go "home", although I
don't know where that is anymore
5 / 157
6/8/2015 6:56 PM
SurveyMonkey
Q2 My parents:
Answered: 726
Skipped: 17
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
Havent tried
to understand
what its like
to be an MK
Generally
understand what
its like to be
an MK
Dont really
understand what
its like to be
an MK
Dont seem to
care about what
its like to be
an MK
Answer Choices
Responses
Havent tried to understand what its like to be an MK
3.99%
29
Generally understand what its like to be an MK
68.87%
500
Dont really understand what its like to be an MK
21.21%
154
Dont seem to care about what its like to be an MK
5.92%
43
Total
726
Date
little understanding at the time. Much more sympathy as they grew older/wiser
6/27/2015 5:24 AM
My parents have spent their lives working with MKs. They have a huge understanding of what MKs are about.
6/27/2015 1:06 AM
since my dad was also an mk i presume he does
6/26/2015 11:07 PM
Were MKs themselves!
6/26/2015 10:11 PM
They mean well, but expected too much of me at times. I wasn't called to Africa, I got dragged along!
6/26/2015 10:09 PM
not an issue for me
6/26/2015 6:40 PM
They are open to hearing what I feel and have felt and I've always known I can talk to them.
6/26/2015 4:44 PM
They feel guilt
6/26/2015 3:45 PM
Mom is an MK, dad is a military kid.
6/26/2015 8:17 AM
10
They're mks too and don't know anything different or find it significant
6/26/2015 2:15 AM
11
I'm a 4 generation missionary. dad was a 2 gen. MK so he understood
6/26/2015 2:14 AM
12
I don't think it's every really come up. We are who we are and they understand and work to understand us as
individuals, which I think is more important than trying to look at us with a label.
6/26/2015 1:19 AM
13
I was blessed with wonderfully loving, caring parents.
6/25/2015 11:36 PM
14
My dad is and MK and understands a bit better. My mom claims to be a TCK because she moved 8 times by the
time she was 18, but she hadn't moved over seas and had to learn a new culture.
6/25/2015 10:43 PM
6 / 157
SurveyMonkey
15
My sister and I never really had any overt issues so I think my parents are largely oblivious to any struggles we
may have.
6/25/2015 9:20 PM
16
In all fairness, they recognize that the whole family made sacrifices to be in the field; relating to the experiences
of their children isn't part of that recognition and that's acceptable.
6/25/2015 9:01 PM
17
Both my parents are also MK's
6/25/2015 8:08 PM
18
My mother is an MK
6/25/2015 6:13 PM
19
None of the above. I don't like any of those answers. It was wonderful growing up overseas and there were not
issues about being there. We all loved it and still call it home. My parents didnt have to understand because that
was our home. we were born there. So they just didnt understand as much about what it was like to grown up as
a child in that country. Did they try yes but can they ever truly understand? I don't think so. But it is not because
they didn't care.
6/25/2015 1:53 PM
20
but jave not made the connection with me as their daughter just other mks
6/25/2015 11:50 AM
21
Care about my thinking of being an MK, even if not entirely understood
6/25/2015 12:07 AM
22
tricky answer choices, not that they understand, but they do care and want to understand
6/24/2015 11:17 PM
23
My parents were also MK's, born on the field
6/24/2015 9:30 PM
24
They had a very balanced viewpoint, having been on multiple sides of the issue; first, as a childless couple
moving around the missionary community (Dad was a builder); and working at a boarding school before and after
having children.
6/24/2015 9:10 PM
25
In my 20's, when going through counseling, my Dad tried to understand what I was struggling to work through but
my Mom was defensive, feeling like she was being blamed.
6/24/2015 4:41 PM
26
Actually, I'm not sure. We haven't discussed it much.
6/24/2015 2:15 AM
27
Also don't seem aware of any MK issues.
6/23/2015 11:03 PM
28
My dad is an MK too.
6/23/2015 3:11 PM
29
They do indeed b/c they are both MKs.
6/23/2015 9:33 AM
30
They are MKs :)
6/20/2015 11:20 PM
31
My mothers is an MK
6/20/2015 12:27 PM
32
My Parent's were extremely supportive of encouraging my sister and I to attend MK Camps ever since we
returned.
6/19/2015 9:34 PM
33
I felt very isolated in my teen years. Even though I loved where I lived we moved there when I was in 9th grade
and it was difficult to make friends I could communicate on a deep level with. And I didn't really have any friends
in my passport country to connect with at all. Therefore my mom became my best friend. There were times when
I felt like we were going through the exact same stuff, especially when there where significant upheavals in our
lives.
6/19/2015 3:27 AM
34
Toss up between option 1 & 2. They seem to get it, but we've not had memorable conversations about it...dunno.
6/18/2015 6:46 PM
35
My parents worked as dorm parents.
6/18/2015 4:59 PM
36
I say this not because they don't try or don't care, but in the same way that I don't understand what it's like to be a
first-generation missionary and leave my home for a foreign field. It's just a different experience.
6/18/2015 11:20 AM
37
They were open, but had different experiences.
6/18/2015 10:26 AM
38
My mom was an MK
6/18/2015 6:34 AM
39
One of my parents was a MK and other made full effort to understand.
6/18/2015 3:33 AM
40
Not sure where you're going with this one. My parents are very supportive. My mom is an MK.
6/17/2015 10:32 PM
41
Their every comment is "you must be more like your passport country". These expectations brought a lot of
discontent and misunderstanding between my parents and I. They are forever "covering" for my so-called
mistakes when it comes to my extended family's knowledge of what I am doing and where I am in life.
6/17/2015 9:57 PM
42
My mother was an MK herself and my father lived overseas as a child.
6/17/2015 3:17 PM
7 / 157
SurveyMonkey
43
They have their own burden of being missionaries.
6/16/2015 2:49 PM
44
Never really sure as to how much they understood or not. Mum and Dad were missionaries in the 1950's and
1960's and these were not known issues then. so I thinkk the above comment is the best.
6/15/2015 9:14 PM
45
My mom is an mk
6/13/2015 11:57 PM
46
They've been dead for yrs. they didn't understand
6/13/2015 10:21 AM
47
they've really tried and want to understand but I'm not sure it's possible
6/13/2015 6:59 AM
48
They feel the transitions similarly, though have slightly more of a home base than I do. They make it home for me
though and are understanding!
6/11/2015 8:18 PM
49
Haven't really talked about this with my parents
6/11/2015 6:33 AM
50
I'm not really sure actually.
6/11/2015 3:55 AM
51
They tried very hard.
6/10/2015 10:42 PM
52
I think they do. However, our situation is kind of different. My parents are originally from S.America, became U.S.
citizens when I was born in the US and we left as missionaries when I was 8 from the US. So, being a "foreigner"
has been a norm for them for a very long time.
6/10/2015 11:34 AM
53
when they were alive
6/10/2015 11:17 AM
54
My parents were both MKs themselves so they understand very well.
6/10/2015 11:14 AM
55
They understood it; they just weren't great at helping me do something about it.
6/10/2015 10:39 AM
56
What I mean by that is that they truly try to understand, and realize that there is an extent to which they CAN NOT
understand
6/10/2015 10:17 AM
57
My parents are both mks so they understand and are very helpful in processing life with me and my siblings.
6/10/2015 8:48 AM
58
Since my parents were both MKs themselves, it would be hard for them NOT to understand what it's like.
6/10/2015 7:00 AM
59
Don't know that they ever really thought about it.
6/10/2015 3:16 AM
60
They weren't MKs themselves, but are always happy to listen to what my experience was and seek to
understand.
6/9/2015 11:59 PM
61
My dad is an MK
6/9/2015 11:56 PM
62
specific - the abandonment that I experienced from being sent to boarding school, at age 11, has, to this day, to
be fully understood.
6/9/2015 9:39 PM
63
They're more worried about their lives
6/9/2015 9:19 PM
64
Dad is an MK
6/9/2015 8:23 PM
65
realize much of what we must have gone through, and we have all come to grips with it.
6/9/2015 7:31 PM
66
My dad is also an MK.
6/9/2015 7:02 PM
67
I don't really know if they understand or not.
6/9/2015 6:11 PM
68
My dad is an MK so he understands. My mom is an extremely caring and understanding person. She tries to
understand, but also realizes that in some ways, she can't truly understand- which I think was really healthy for
me growing up.
6/9/2015 6:09 PM
69
I think mine tried hard, though.
6/9/2015 5:42 PM
70
Well, they do now since they're in heaven!
6/9/2015 5:30 PM
71
My parents are dead.
6/9/2015 5:18 PM
72
My mom is an MK so growing up she was able to parent with that in mind
6/9/2015 4:56 PM
73
I have no idea if they have tried or not.
6/9/2015 4:38 PM
74
My parents are both MKs themselves.
6/9/2015 4:19 PM
75
My mom is an MK and my dad seems like he is too, though he is technically not.
6/9/2015 4:13 PM
8 / 157
SurveyMonkey
76
Not that they don't care- they do. I think it's just somewhat different from the way they, especially my dad, grew
up, but both really do care.
6/9/2015 4:10 PM
77
We had loads of books about the TCK experience, etc. I don't think they realise how disconnected from extended
family we feel, though - as they grew up with them, and we just met once a year at the very most.
6/9/2015 2:10 PM
78
One of my parents was an MK
6/9/2015 1:38 PM
79
I don't think they've ever really thought about it.
6/9/2015 1:33 PM
80
My mom has finally tried, about 6 to 7 years after being back in the passport country. My dad continues to view it
as "victim mentality" and useless to understand because it is wrong.
6/9/2015 12:25 PM
81
After we came back to the States, they began to realize this was a "thing" (after they read the Dave Pollock book)
6/9/2015 11:55 AM
82
both my parents are MKs
6/9/2015 8:56 AM
83
They reared 5 of us ...
6/9/2015 5:09 AM
84
My Dad is an MK, too.
6/9/2015 2:56 AM
85
They truly cared for us but did not understand the impacts on us
6/9/2015 1:10 AM
86
n/a. My mom understands people. My dad just barely understands me.
6/8/2015 10:39 PM
87
My mother is also an MK.
6/8/2015 10:09 PM
88
They think they do, but they didn't grow up that way.
6/8/2015 10:00 PM
89
... have supported me in every way they and I could think of.
6/8/2015 9:51 PM
90
Anything bad that happened was Gods will+ Romans 8:28
6/8/2015 8:45 PM
91
They leave it to the experts.
6/8/2015 8:01 PM
92
but they can't actually because they have never been an MK.
6/8/2015 7:55 PM
93
I think my parents generally understood better than they said.Meanwhile, they had to deal with incredible pain
and guilt due to what they knew we went through.
6/8/2015 7:29 PM
94
We never talked about it.
6/8/2015 7:17 PM
95
I'm lucky because my mother is an MK herself.
6/8/2015 7:15 PM
96
My dad is an MK
6/8/2015 7:05 PM
9 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q3 As an MK, I feel:
Answered: 736
Skipped: 7
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
Just like
anybody else
Slightly
different
from others
in vague ways
Slightly
different
from others
in ways I ...
Really
different
from others,
but I can...
Really
different
from others
in ways I...
Answer Choices
Responses
Just like anybody else
0.41%
Slightly different from others in vague ways
15.63%
115
Slightly different from others in ways I can identify
23.23%
171
Really different from others, but I can "adjust" those differences and adapt to my context
52.99%
390
Really different from others in ways I can't "adjust" to fit in
7.74%
57
Total
736
Date
again, none of the above...I can relate to many non MKs..my life is not defined by difference however ..they have
their story, I have mine
6/26/2015 11:07 PM
It's hard to separate out what is culturally different, what is spiritually/values different, and what is just
me/personality/psychologically different, but I do have strong social skills.
6/26/2015 10:09 PM
This has gone from really different to slightly different with age, counseling, and being forced to stay in one place.
6/26/2015 8:58 PM
I'm fine with who I am - more difficult to describe what my parents did/do . . .
6/26/2015 6:40 PM
I only respond this way because it goes back to my feelings of not seeing a lot of realness for Christ in the
American church. So, I feel different and where I cannot adjust to fit in is in the areas of complacency and lack of
depth. I do not want to adjust to fit in with a world that isn't following God and that glosses over things. Other than
that little differences like alcohol tastes etc...I can adapt to.:)
6/26/2015 4:44 PM
Still struggling at forty
6/26/2015 3:45 PM
seeing people as "marks" potential supporters or "sinners"
6/26/2015 1:16 PM
I used to be treated like a king, so I acted like one. But since marrying a Japanese, I have been 'put in my place',
for which I am very grateful.
6/26/2015 6:35 AM
it took 10 years to feel well adjusted back in the states
6/26/2015 3:44 AM
10
I feel more of my differences come not from being an MK, but from my faith itself
6/26/2015 1:19 AM
10 / 157
SurveyMonkey
11
It used to be "really different", but I have been in the states awhile now and have come to terms with a lot of
things.
6/25/2015 11:41 PM
12
"Wanderlust" is one of the bigger ways. The desire to travel, to experience God's hand in every country. Also
some cultural values of people before time, and people before efficiency, etc.
6/25/2015 10:43 PM
13
Becoming a mother for for kids and being a mother for the last 21 years has made me a lot like any other mother.
I think it's just motherhood that has made me most normal and helped me forget my being different from other
Finns.
6/25/2015 5:34 AM
14
Primarily have a better understanding of other cultures
6/24/2015 4:05 PM
15
it depends on who the "others" are. As in non-mks?
6/24/2015 9:46 AM
16
As I've gotten older I realize I am not so different. I meet people of all types. I do think somehow I am different.
I've always associated it with faith but it could come from MK roots.
6/24/2015 2:15 AM
17
Slightly to really different depending on company, triggers and context, with varying internal abilities to adjust ,
though can usually fake it.
6/23/2015 11:03 PM
18
As a matter of fact I've made so many non-conformist choices in my life by now that MK is several notches down
the list of what makes me different, and doesn't actually come up that often. But I'm OK with where I fit into my
local community even though I am different from them in important ways.
6/23/2015 9:33 AM
19
After 9 years, I am a bit of a loner and disconnected from both the MK world and the other secular world here but
am connected a bit to church and people there.
6/22/2015 9:42 AM
20
I don't always appreciate the fact that having been an MK can make people fawn over you. They ask so many
questions and unknowingly poke and prod at my heart by asking questions about where I consider home. This
has made me learn to "adjust" so that people can't easily pick me out from those I am with. I want to fit in so I am
not seemingly in the spotlight. That and I think being an MK forces you to just be able to adapt and adjust.
6/19/2015 3:27 AM
21
Sometimes I shares, sometimes, I don'ts!
6/18/2015 6:46 PM
22
I spent most of my time in college trying to fit in. Other MKs disliked that and I felt ostracized from the group.
6/17/2015 9:57 PM
23
Over time I have found that I feel less different from others
6/17/2015 3:51 PM
24
Its balancing between do I want to adjust or not.
6/16/2015 2:49 PM
25
Sometimes I don't want to, but peer pressure forces me to.
6/16/2015 5:02 AM
26
This has been a journey of understanding myself and realizing my differences and coming to an understanding of
this
6/15/2015 9:14 PM
27
chrisandandria@mac.com
6/14/2015 8:28 AM
28
I can identify the ways I feel slightly different from non-TCK's/MK's and when needed I can "adjust" those
differences and adapt.
6/14/2015 6:45 AM
29
People think I am weird because I am very free spirited, but I embrace it.
6/12/2015 5:13 PM
30
Sometimes I still miss cultural cues (I live in PA) or am misunderstood. These occasions are becoming less
frequent. I am age 52.
6/12/2015 6:37 AM
31
It really depends on the situation. I still encounter times when I feel completely different from others.
6/11/2015 9:13 PM
32
Major differences but adapting is not too hard and loving relationships rise above that! Differences make things
better sometimes, when handled well by both parties.
6/11/2015 8:18 PM
33
More accurately, "slightly different, but in ways I can adjust to adapt"
6/10/2015 10:42 PM
34
Probably a somewhere in between "slightly" and 'really" different...but definitely in ways that are hard for me to
put my finger on
6/10/2015 12:16 PM
35
Oftentimes I don't like the ways in which I've had to adapt.
6/10/2015 11:52 AM
36
Between Option 3 & 4.
6/10/2015 11:34 AM
37
Is wanted to check all of the middle ones. Sometimes it is a vague, feeling of not fitting in, other times I can
identify the differences and sometimes try to adapt.
6/10/2015 9:20 AM
11 / 157
SurveyMonkey
38
I tend to "adjust" automatically; when in a new group setting, I tend to spend a bit of time staying silent as I figure
out the group's rules, and then jump in and participate. I've described myself often as a chameleon.
6/10/2015 7:00 AM
39
pop culture -- I'll never catch up with what is common to others
6/9/2015 11:24 PM
40
My "reallly different" life has has some postive aspects, in that I can provide a different perspective on issues and
be an advocate for change.
6/9/2015 9:39 PM
41
Used to be really different not adjust, then really different and adjust, to where I am now
6/9/2015 8:51 PM
42
Wherever I go I'm drawn to people with unique cultural experiences, some MKs, some not. I feel like everyone
else in that I seek to be around people with similar interests. I mean, what's "normal?" anyway.
6/9/2015 7:35 PM
43
I'm pretty far removed from my MK days (30+ years). In the beginning, the differences were much greater.
6/9/2015 5:40 PM
44
That's why we often marry other MKs - they know what it's like and have similar values
6/9/2015 4:29 PM
45
I still feel left out, but I can look like I fit in
6/9/2015 4:27 PM
46
I never feel as if I fit in anywhere - except amongst other TCKs, or ex-pats (from many different countries). My
"country of origin" culture feels extremely weird, and even when I think I'm doing really well, someone will drop in
cultural references, "Don't you remember from TV?" or whatever, and I have no idea what they're talking about.
Or stuff people think is a really big deal seems trivial to the point of boredom to me.
6/9/2015 2:10 PM
47
I only started learning to adapt when I started understanding the differences.
6/9/2015 1:33 PM
48
I can "adjust" to the vague ways I feel different.
6/9/2015 1:22 PM
49
the adapting can end up being a curse as well as a blessing, though. I kinda lost myself there for a few years...
6/9/2015 11:55 AM
50
Adaptation was hard but achievable. However I don't think I'll ever lose the feeling of never quite fitting.
6/9/2015 9:52 AM
51
I think it's important to say that although MK's have led an extraordinary life and that there will be various
situations that are hard for them, they still struggle just like every other teenager/young adult. That is how they
can connect. Although my experiences are different from my peers, theirs are different from mine and possibly
from each other. I find that there is a constant stigma that says MK's are different and although maybe our
experiences are, I don't think we as people are. By constantly putting the spot light on what we've experienced, it
makes us feel even more different. I know other MK's will most likely have different opinions and views on this
and although it has been something I've struggled with, I've realized I am not so different from an young adult
who has grown up in the States.
6/9/2015 12:44 AM
52
I feel privileged for my experiences.
6/8/2015 10:39 PM
53
I understand "adjustable" to mean in ways that I can't change. It is inner attitudes and worldview as well as
cultural knowledge (and lack thereof) that make me different.
6/8/2015 9:52 PM
54
We're good at fitting in, right?
6/8/2015 9:51 PM
55
what is meant by "adjustable"?
6/8/2015 9:22 PM
56
Because of my broader experience, I usually feel that even when it seems that I "feel just like" someone else, it is
probably for different reasons.
6/8/2015 7:29 PM
57
I learned to "pass" very quickly when I moved to the US.
6/8/2015 7:15 PM
58
Not sure what you mean by adjustable...
6/8/2015 7:07 PM
59
I generally feel very mono-cultural (American) for an MK.
6/8/2015 6:53 PM
12 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q4 I feel that my differences as an MK come

mostly from:
Answered: 728
Skipped: 15
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
Living in
a
cross-cultu
ral setting
Living in
the
missionary/
faith world
Experiences
I had while
overseas
Answer Choices
Growing up
"in a
bubble"
Dealing
with loss
or other
trauma
I dont
see any
noteworthy
differences
Responses
Living in a cross-cultural setting
54.53%
397
Living in the missionary/faith world
13.74%
100
Experiences I had while overseas
16.21%
118
Growing up "in a bubble"
7.97%
58
Dealing with loss or other trauma
6.87%
50
I dont see any noteworthy differences
0.69%
Total
728
Date
again, not as an MK...you make this too narrow a reason...so so many others grow up very cross=culturallly also
6/26/2015 11:07 PM
I feel I'm more adaptable to change, take it in stride
6/26/2015 10:43 PM
Cross-cultural in addition to missionary/faith setting, truly
6/26/2015 10:39 PM
All of the above
6/26/2015 8:58 PM
I grew up in PNG, I married a woman who grew up with the Fayu in Irian Jaya (you can figure out who I am now)
New Guinea is my home, CH/DE my adolescence . . . after that, I made my own choices (UK is my birth/original
citizenship)
6/26/2015 6:40 PM
missionary life has no relevance to"real life"
6/26/2015 3:45 PM
in a negative sense - us v them
6/26/2015 1:16 PM
As well as with the cross-cultural setting and the high-mobility experiences.
6/26/2015 10:41 AM
Sometimes it's hard to tell which differences are because I was an MK and which are just my personality (for
example, I'm not into pop culture, I've never been in the "cool" crowd, and I have a hard time spending money,
but my brother grew up in the same circumstances and is the opposite.)
6/26/2015 5:17 AM
10
as well as living in the missionary world and dealing with loss/trauma.
6/25/2015 11:41 PM
13 / 157
SurveyMonkey
11
1-3 are all part of my answer.
6/25/2015 11:36 PM
12
I wanted to choose 1 and 2.
6/25/2015 10:45 PM
13
A little bit of all of the above. Being an MK simply changes you in ways that no one will seem to understand, until
you find another one... even they didn't have the same experiences and won't understand.
6/25/2015 10:43 PM
14
all the above!
6/25/2015 6:50 PM
15
as well as dealing with loss and trauma
6/25/2015 2:37 PM
16
I lost both my parents when I was small and was brought up by step parents....all were missionaries.
6/25/2015 12:12 PM
17
living away from parents
6/25/2015 11:40 AM
18
growing up in 2 different worlds
6/25/2015 8:44 AM
19
All of the above except for "I don't see any noteworthy differences"
6/25/2015 2:08 AM
20
They are good differences, like being fluently biliteral.
6/24/2015 4:41 PM
21
Again, I'm not sure. Was it living in small Indian villages, being the only white girl in my class at school, or just
growing up in a very committed family?
6/24/2015 2:15 AM
22
Frequent "outsider-ness" and having to adapt/survive/learn quickly.
6/23/2015 11:03 PM
23
I grew up in a bubble, but tried to adapt to Japanese culture so as not to stand out too much
6/20/2015 11:20 PM
24
Not negative.
6/20/2015 9:50 PM
25
Living dominantly in a culture that is not yours but you want to be yours, you strive to be the most like them as
possible. Parts of me I changed because I loved the culture around me, even more than my own. So when I am
here I try to be like them as much as possible. This also gains you a lot of respect from those you live with.
However it makes going to your passport country more difficult because then people don't understand you.
6/19/2015 3:27 AM
26
all of the above except the last one
6/18/2015 8:39 PM
27
The bubble is almost the perfect way of portraying the mission field. For the longest time, I believed that the world
I live in was the real world, but I am slowly learning that the faith world is what God has in mind for His people,
and that is the REAL world. I'm learning that I am not lacking, my differences are God-based.
6/17/2015 9:57 PM
28
All, except the last.
6/17/2015 8:55 PM
29
faith world is maybe stronger difference and much more difficult in my living country than MK era.
6/16/2015 2:49 PM
30
Lack of many other same culture kids to help me develop relationally as a young person.
6/14/2015 12:58 PM
31
1and 2
6/14/2015 11:02 AM
32
A mix of living cross-culturally, living in the mission world, experiences I had while overseas, and dealing with
loss. There is not one that s stronger or more prominent than another.
6/14/2015 6:45 AM
33
Living in a Christian bubble is a close second here.
6/13/2015 12:29 PM
34
Meeting lots of people who have different but beautiful ways at looking at life.
6/12/2015 5:13 PM
35
I am not sure this is the answer I really want as the Experiences one may be better. I find that I have a hard time
disciplining male students with a strong personality. This must come from patterns of abuse that I don't recall. I
am working on this.
6/12/2015 6:37 AM
36
And trying to live in a set apart way for God, though being still in the world, not of it, and loving those around meri
CHRIST
6/11/2015 8:18 PM
37
I'd have to say its 1, 2 and 3. #3 I see as cumulative looking back
6/11/2015 6:33 AM
38
All but the last feel true - it's hard to pick just one.
6/10/2015 12:35 PM
39
Missed out about a decade of US culture
6/10/2015 11:34 AM
40
All the above :) it depends which difference. Difference culturally, the fact I have different morals than most
people. Other experiences...
6/10/2015 9:20 AM
41
Too many changes and too many goodbyes
6/10/2015 1:29 AM
14 / 157
SurveyMonkey
42
Answer 1 and 2
6/10/2015 12:52 AM
43
Having experiences no one else relates to.
6/9/2015 9:40 PM
44
Having a world view, that is truly based on living OUS is huge. There are poeple that I interact with who have
never left the US state that I currently live in.
6/9/2015 9:39 PM
45
Continual change of environment
6/9/2015 9:19 PM
46
AND cross cultural setting
6/9/2015 8:23 PM
47
I want to pick more than one answer here
6/9/2015 8:02 PM
48
Gosh, it's a mix of things, including culture. But honestly the isolated faith culture is stranger than anything. Since
leaving the "bubble" and actually interacting with people of different world views I've learned so much and
realized stuff like how getting married in your early 20s isn't actually normal.
6/9/2015 7:35 PM
49
It seems that I feel it is from all of the above.
6/9/2015 5:26 PM
50
Also living in the missionary/ faith world had a big impact
6/9/2015 5:07 PM
51
I think they come from living abroad AND from the faith world in equal parts. One without the other is impossible
to imagine.
6/9/2015 4:38 PM
52
Other - being away from friends/family/N.American culture for years at a time
6/9/2015 4:29 PM
53
Also, because its just who I am. Not necessarily because I am an MK.
6/9/2015 1:22 PM
54
And loss/trauma
6/9/2015 12:51 PM
55
really, all of the above, except the last one...
6/9/2015 11:55 AM
56
I would really say its an even combination of all of the above (minus the last answer)
6/9/2015 11:55 AM
57
also but maybe not as strong: living in the missionary/faith world and living in a cross cultural setting
6/9/2015 10:35 AM
58
1, 2, 4 and 5
6/9/2015 10:31 AM
59
the everyday differences are slight, like how you use your cutlery, or calling something "savoury" instead of salty,
but the greater differences, the ones that make you question yourself or feel disdain for your "passport country"
are ones that are much harder to overlook and try to "adjust" to- how US christianity treats the LGBTQ+, the
legalistic ways we respond to some ideas that are good, but difficult to understand. Because I grew up in Europe,
I find myself more frustrated with the closed-mindedness of Americans, whether they claim faith or not.
6/9/2015 10:14 AM
60
also dealing with loss
6/8/2015 11:00 PM
61
And also experiences I had while overseas.
6/8/2015 10:39 PM
62
It was prey much a toss up between choices one and two.
6/8/2015 10:09 PM
63
People giving you $ vs. you having to WORK and EARN it is a big difference!
6/8/2015 10:00 PM
64
The faith/missionary world divided us from them, the unbelievers.
6/8/2015 9:52 PM
65
Global awareness
6/8/2015 9:51 PM
66
and definitely living in a slightly sheltered bubble, sometimes an 'us vs. them' outlook, or 'good vs. evil' which was
really simplistic at times.
6/8/2015 9:22 PM
67
I would check both living in a cross-cultural setting and experiences I had while overseas
6/8/2015 9:22 PM
68
All of the above except the last one.
6/8/2015 7:29 PM
69
1-5 equally!
6/8/2015 6:56 PM
70
All of the top 3.
6/8/2015 6:53 PM
15 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q5 The age when I realized that being an

MK had had an impact on me was:
Answered: 738
Skipped: 5
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
When I was a
child
When I was a
teen
When I was
an adult
As a senior
citizen
Answer Choices
I don't
think it had
any impact on
me
Responses
When I was a child
25.88%
191
When I was a teen
49.05%
362
When I was an adult
24.25%
179
As a senior citizen
0.27%
I don't think it had any impact on me
0.54%
Total
738
Date
Freshman year of college, when I returned back to the US
6/27/2015 9:30 AM
Kids in church and school stateside seemed idiotic bc they didn't know anything past their own noses.
6/27/2015 1:13 AM
and I realized I wouldn't be going back home, I'd grown up
6/26/2015 10:43 PM
but not being an MK, rather, growing up in an evangelical Christian home
6/26/2015 6:40 PM
That was when I really noticed differences from me and others when we would return "home"
6/26/2015 4:44 PM
this is when i moved back to the states, being born abroad
6/26/2015 3:44 AM
On furlough in the U.S., I knew I was different and my peers knew I was different
6/26/2015 2:06 AM
I was not an MK as a child, though our family was always very missions-minded plus we moved several times
6/26/2015 1:19 AM
When I went to college.
6/25/2015 10:52 PM
10
Moving back in 2008, being told that I wasn't an MK anymore. I almost lost my cool. "My parents are still
missionaries, and I will never loose those first 14 years of my life." I thought. And it was true.
6/25/2015 10:43 PM
11
Mostly to do with travel, when most kids in class had never been in a plane. As a teen realisation was more
complex.
6/25/2015 6:30 PM
12
When I became a mother
6/25/2015 3:56 PM
13
There was no TCK material back then. We thought we were normal until we realized we weren't.
6/24/2015 2:15 AM
16 / 157
SurveyMonkey
14
When I went to college in the States after growing up mostly in Europe.
6/23/2015 11:03 PM
15
I only started being an MK at the ate of 14, now I'm 19.
6/23/2015 9:13 PM
16
It was mostly the social effect, of having to leave school friends for a year of furlough & then come back &
everyone's moved on. In fact that's still the greatest impact on me; I never had a really long-term childhood
friendship, and spent some of my growing-up years convinced I was lousy at making friends. Later I realized it
was just circumstances--the timing of furloughs & moves & school switching meant I wasn't at any school more
than two years growing up, even though we only lived in two different towns on the field.
6/23/2015 9:33 AM
17
We were educated about what being an MK meant at my school for MKs
6/20/2015 11:20 PM
18
transition between adolescence and young adulthood to be precise
6/20/2015 1:14 PM
19
I first became at MK at the age of 9. We lived on a missionary base/boarding school, my entire family. In the
beginning I thought that my friends I was making were so much different than I was. After around 8 months there
we had visa trouble and we had to go to our passport country. We stayed in the missionary house for that time
and attended our 'home' church. Attending church was like a wake up call for me- YOU ARE ALREADY ONE OF
THEM. That was the message I was picking up from the kids I was in Sunday School class... I knew I had
changed, already my life experience was beyond what those kids' was.
6/19/2015 3:27 AM
20
I understand how wide my perspective is
6/18/2015 4:59 PM
21
The impact hit as soon as I left home and began to hear the stories of the people around me who had never
traveled or had not experienced the things I had.
6/17/2015 9:57 PM
22
Probably at university and the significance of this became evident at the age of 30
6/15/2015 9:14 PM
23
late teen, leaving for college
6/13/2015 6:59 AM
24
When I was younger I saw it as a positive impacted only. At age 18, I started to see more of the hardships
though not too badly. It was still overall a wonderful benefit! It is a great blessing and has shaped me very
positively as a whole
6/11/2015 8:18 PM
25
My Muslim best friend in 5th grade said that we couldn't be friends anymore because my family was Christian.
We also got deported from that Turkish city.
6/10/2015 9:55 PM
26
It was hard leaving the US
6/10/2015 11:34 AM
27
When I came back to the US for an extended furlough as a teenager and realized then that I was very, very
different from "normal Americans"
6/10/2015 10:17 AM
28
Sixth grade, our first furlough, when I realized I didn't belong back "home" either
6/10/2015 9:46 AM
29
but in a good way--- impact.
6/10/2015 7:14 AM
30
boarding school
6/10/2015 12:02 AM
31
I realized as I transitioned from high school to college.
6/9/2015 10:53 PM
32
When I moved to BFA my junior year.
6/9/2015 9:46 PM
33
Big time culture shock, when returning to the US at 17 years of age.
6/9/2015 9:39 PM
34
Has evolved gradually, with the first realization being that my parents had some unrealistic "legalist" Christian
beliefs that eventually evolved to include the realization that I had a deep seated fear of abandonment as an
adult.
6/9/2015 9:16 PM
35
Mostly because BFA projected these issues on me that I never would have thought up otherwise.
6/9/2015 7:35 PM
36
When I realized that I was blessed, and my differences were not because I was just eccentric
6/9/2015 7:31 PM
37
I noticed it more when my own children began to leave home.
6/9/2015 5:42 PM
38
When I got married and realized how messed up I was
6/9/2015 4:03 PM
39
But didnt undstand what the differences were til an adult
6/9/2015 2:22 PM
40
Impact on me compared to what? I dont know any other way of being
6/9/2015 1:22 PM
17 / 157
SurveyMonkey
41
I realized it on an intuitive level as a young MK. But it was only in my 20s when I read Third Culture Kids that I
was finally able to realize the full impact it had on me.
6/9/2015 11:38 AM
42
I was at a youth camp, and they showed the video "World On Fire" by Sarah Mclachlan. I bawled and it was
awkward. I didn't know how I had completely forgotten my years in Nairobi, how I had just moved on, pretending
like nothing had happened.
6/9/2015 10:14 AM
43
We only spent 4.5 years overseas. But my parents continued to work with our organization in the USA . I never
thought my childhood affected me that much.
6/9/2015 8:16 AM
44
especially as I went back into international missions life as an adult, rearing TCKs now
6/9/2015 5:09 AM
45
Initial impact was as a child. Life long impact is they reality.
6/9/2015 1:10 AM
46
And definitely into my teen and adult years
6/8/2015 9:22 PM
47
I would check when I was a child, when I was a teen, but probably realize how deep and permanent impact as an
older adult
6/8/2015 9:22 PM
48
About 17 or 18
6/8/2015 8:01 PM
49
Both as a teen and adult.
6/8/2015 6:53 PM
18 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q6 I think that being an MK:

Answered: 732
Skipped: 11
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
Defines me in important ways
Is just another trait
Answer Choices
Responses
Defines me in important ways
78.55%
575
Is just another trait
21.45%
157
Total
732
Date
A blessing and a curse :)
6/26/2015 10:09 PM
it is who I am . . . not different than many other situations
6/26/2015 6:40 PM
for me
6/26/2015 1:19 AM
Its a blessing when used and thought of properly. Its a curse when you let it get the best of you.
6/25/2015 10:43 PM
In a positive way
6/24/2015 7:54 PM
I don't like the word "defines," but it has impacted my in important ways, just like other influential
aspects/experiences in my life
6/24/2015 9:46 AM
I would choose the first one but I don't see it as defining. Affecting, yes but not defining.
6/24/2015 2:15 AM
Is lifelong altered state to learn to appropriately maximize and minimize.
6/23/2015 11:03 PM
I have deliberately become different (counter-cultural I guess) in so many material ways that it's just another thing
on the list, really.
6/23/2015 9:33 AM
10
It has affected every aspect of my life. It isn't just another trait like my brown hair or my green eyes.
6/19/2015 3:27 AM
11
It was the only thing that defined me for the longest time. In the past couple years, I have had more things happen
to me and new experienes outside to the MK world to define who I am in Christ.
6/17/2015 9:57 PM
12
...but it is not the only thing that defines me.
6/17/2015 3:13 PM
13
Important part of my identity and very important to accept. But I can grow to something new daily.
6/16/2015 2:49 PM
14
Being an MK is a trait, being a TCK defines part of who I am.
6/14/2015 6:45 AM
15
But it used to define me.
6/13/2015 12:29 PM
16
A good trait, but one that does not define who I am.
6/12/2015 5:13 PM
19 / 157
SurveyMonkey
17
It used to greatly identify me yet I hated being know as the mk. However now it's a toolkit of experiences that few
could share in.
6/11/2015 11:30 PM
18
It is not my identity but does account for some things I do and my perspective on some things
6/11/2015 8:18 PM
19
Should be a choice
6/9/2015 9:19 PM
20
It's molded certain aspects of my personality.
6/9/2015 8:15 PM
21
It's not being an MK that makes me unique. It's my experiences. It's just that MKs tend to have diverse cultural
experiences from an early age.
6/9/2015 7:35 PM
22
But I try not too let it be my identity,
6/9/2015 5:34 PM
23
I used to think option 1 on this but now with more experience and wisdom I think option 2.
6/9/2015 4:13 PM
24
But other missionaries I work with don't seem to take these differnces into account
6/9/2015 1:38 PM
25
I want to check them both
6/9/2015 1:22 PM
26
Specifically being a TCK, not necessarily just being an MK.
6/9/2015 12:25 PM
27
After going through massive identity crisis as a teenager, I finally came to the realisation that being an MK is not a
be all and end all definition of me, that many things contribute to who I am
6/9/2015 2:56 AM
28
It is scary to think that we are defining ourselves by our parent's jobs. Although it is definitely an aspect of who we
are, we shouldn't let that define us. We are more than just an MK.
6/9/2015 12:44 AM
29
This used to define me, but I believe I've grown beyond it. At this stage in my life, it's a benefit that I value, but
there are non-MKs who have similar traits.
6/8/2015 10:39 PM
30
In between the two, but is becoming less of a factor in my current life as I move on.
6/8/2015 10:00 PM
31
As a kid/teen it was my only identity. Now it is a more limited contributing factor.
6/8/2015 9:51 PM
32
I find my answer disturbing. From reading several of your articles, I can see that being an MK was my identity in
unhealthy ways. I was happy and had a genuinely good attitude about my parents' full-time ministry, I treated it
like it was a family business.
6/8/2015 9:22 PM
20 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q7 The greatest difference between MKs

and non-MKS is:
Answered: 716
Skipped: 27
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
A broad
world view
A more
inclusive
mindset
The
ability to
adapt and
adjust
Speaking
multiple
languages
A
different
understandi
ng of faith
An ease in
relating to
people of
differen...
Answer Choices
Responses
A broad world view
31.15%
223
A more inclusive mindset
5.73%
41
The ability to adapt and adjust
26.12%
187
Speaking multiple languages
0.70%
A different understanding of faith
3.35%
24
An ease in relating to people of difference beliefs, origins and mindsets
32.96%
236
Total
716
Date
but also that I rather accept other cultures, thenbotherbnon MK's
6/27/2015 2:55 AM
again, you eliminate countless other TCKs who share many of these same things by making the non-MKs..and
many non-MKs can share faith who aren't other TCKs...not a good question as too many variables in how to read
it?
6/26/2015 11:07 PM
A huge difference in values, and maturity
6/26/2015 10:09 PM
Only an Mk could really understand what you've been through.
6/26/2015 10:05 PM
I frame it as not having a single frame of reference
6/26/2015 9:54 PM
All of the above
6/26/2015 8:58 PM
to general a question - not willing to box an individual into this . . .
6/26/2015 6:40 PM
I think this applies not just to MKs but to TCKs in general.
6/26/2015 6:11 AM
All of the above in spades
6/26/2015 2:15 AM
10
All of the above
6/25/2015 11:55 PM
11
All of the above.
6/25/2015 11:36 PM
21 / 157
SurveyMonkey
12
I chose this one because sometimes I feel that the christians are more indifferent in the US. There is no sense of
urgency because "hey we live in a Christian nation." Or, "hey I need to establish my life first, then I can think
about God's work."
6/25/2015 10:43 PM
13
I also have a much greater belief in American exceptionalism than many of my friends who didn't grow up
overseas.
6/25/2015 8:35 PM
14
This is ever so biased towards 'positive' traits...
6/25/2015 7:05 PM
15
All of the above
6/25/2015 2:08 AM
16
actually, I would put all of those as almost equally strong
6/25/2015 1:51 AM
17
Not necessarily any
6/24/2015 8:46 PM
18
You see God's grace at work and realize that you need to trust in Him with all your heart
6/24/2015 7:54 PM
19
Really all the above
6/24/2015 6:17 PM
20
Not raised in a TV culture where everyone thinks like everyone else. I think that most "normal" people can't
possibly imagine the differences that are not visible.
6/24/2015 3:31 PM
21
Really, all but the languages option & understanding faith
6/24/2015 2:00 PM
22
which goes along with "a broad world view" and "a different understanding of faith"
6/24/2015 9:46 AM
23
All of the above!!
6/24/2015 7:24 AM
24
Always feeling the odd one
6/24/2015 6:07 AM
25
Also often a "get to the point/essentials" ability for MK's.
6/23/2015 11:03 PM
26
By broader world view, I mean knowing people from other cultures.
6/23/2015 11:52 AM
27
I notice so many differences *among* MKs as well, though, that it's hard to generalize. It makes such a
difference, for example, how old you were when your family went to the field. In fact I ought to change the last
question on Survey #1: I would raise my kids as MKs with careful thought to its impact, and I'd do it by not taking
them to the field if they were over 10 (or ideally, 5 or 6.) I think MKs who grew up fully in their adopted culture feel
very differently about it, and much less uprooted & fractured.
6/23/2015 9:33 AM
28
this is the biggest difference for me, though a different understanding of faith is a close second
6/20/2015 11:20 PM
29
Being able to adapt and adjust allows you to relate to almost everybody. You judge what situation you are in and
make appropriate changes. You don't compromise who you are or what you believe, however you know what
foot you should put forward.
6/19/2015 3:27 AM
30
being a TCK effects most of these. Being an MK effects the understanding of faith
6/18/2015 8:39 PM
31
"difference" should be "different" in the last option. :^D
6/18/2015 6:46 PM
32
I would say all of the above. The different understanding of Faith might not the greatest difference between some
MKs and non-MKS, because some MKs just talk the talk and live the life, but for some it is a major difference.
6/17/2015 9:57 PM
33
i dpnt like to generalise. nonMKs could share the same traits.
6/17/2015 5:12 PM
34
Also broad world view
6/17/2015 4:31 PM
35
Not all mks have a broader world view
6/16/2015 7:05 AM
36
I have personally experienced the faithfulness of God to those who risk everything for him.
6/16/2015 5:02 AM
37
I think all of these can be considered relevant and important - not sure why I chose the one I did!!
6/15/2015 9:14 PM
38
All of the above
6/15/2015 7:18 AM
39
3and6
6/14/2015 11:02 AM
40
All
6/14/2015 8:28 AM
41
All the above
6/13/2015 11:54 AM
42
both the 2nd and 3rd though
6/13/2015 6:59 AM
22 / 157
SurveyMonkey
43
I have met some non-Mk's that are good at adapting but I think, from my experience, MK's are just really good at
it. Though I think there are seasons of "in-between" that can be really difficult as we try to understand new
settings/expectations/people from the new place.
6/12/2015 5:13 PM
44
I feel this choice encompasses several of the others. Interestingly when recently given a new job description for
next year (one I think I will love) I was told it was nice not to have negative feedback from me. I still see these
types of changes as opportunities for growth and a training ground for something greater.
6/12/2015 6:37 AM
45
That's a hard one.
6/11/2015 11:30 PM
46
And the last one, at least for me. I know MKs though too that seem to have a harder time relating to other
cultures they don't understand because they feel the need to identify so heavily with where they grew up. I think
balance is essential here!
6/11/2015 8:18 PM
47
I think that often times, MKs have greater difficulty relating to people of different beliefs, origins, and mindsets.
6/10/2015 10:42 PM
48
I actually feel like I fit in better with non-MK's because I'm extremely liberal, an atheist, and gay.
6/10/2015 12:30 PM
49
I believe the ease in relating to others is the greatest advantage, perhaps not the greatest difference.
6/10/2015 8:48 AM
50
I find this one difficult, because I think most of the answers are contained in the first one, "a broad world view."
6/10/2015 8:15 AM
51
I also think the ability to adapt and adjust is more prevelant in mks
6/10/2015 3:16 AM
52
All of the above ;-)
6/10/2015 1:49 AM
53
the polarization I see in my home country and in the world is getting scary
6/9/2015 11:24 PM
54
All of the above - use this survey for the greater good, please.
6/9/2015 9:39 PM
55
I think MKs have a broad understanding of cultural sensitivity, but not a broad view concerning lifestyles different
from that in the missionary bubble.
6/9/2015 7:35 PM
56
All of the above at different times and circumstances.
6/9/2015 7:31 PM
57
I think mk's are just as variable as the rest of the world
6/9/2015 6:55 PM
58
And ability to adapt and adjust
6/9/2015 6:21 PM
59
MKs tend to immediately think that an argument or dissonance between two people could be based on a
difference in culture or upbringing, people who didn't grow up overseas rarely see that as a possibility and so
rarely try to accommodate it, in my experience.
6/9/2015 6:09 PM
60
A broad world view, but some others as adults have this too
6/9/2015 5:44 PM
61
again all of the above
6/9/2015 5:26 PM
62
The word "difference" in the question should be "different."
6/9/2015 5:18 PM
63
In my experience, the difference is in how much we struggle just to survive. I don't know why this survey seems
to assume that being an MK has been an amazing thing for all of us. It hasn't been one for me!
6/9/2015 4:38 PM
64
I would clarify, the difference between TCKs and non-TCKs
6/9/2015 4:26 PM
65
For myself it is having a different understanding of faith, but I think in general the one I checked is more true.
6/9/2015 4:19 PM
66
I'm going to need an option for ALL of the above please!
6/9/2015 4:10 PM
67
OUr experience is really the only thing that is different - and we are all different from each other as well.
6/9/2015 3:58 PM
68
And be able to explain it
6/9/2015 2:22 PM
69
but sometimes not really a recognizable difference. I have met some non-Mk that were much more Mk than I was.
6/9/2015 1:22 PM
70
Would again say my true answer for this would be a combination of all of the answers!
6/9/2015 11:55 AM
71
an acronym
6/9/2015 11:27 AM
72
I would also include broader world view and more inclusive mindset!
6/9/2015 9:27 AM
73
I think any and all of these can be massive differences between MKs and non-MKs, but I think there are some
MKs who can't do these things well/easily, and some non/m-MKs that can.
6/9/2015 2:56 AM
23 / 157
SurveyMonkey
74
Most of these applied equally
6/9/2015 12:03 AM
75
There are too many culturaly adaptive people out there for me to tie these traits to just MKs.
6/8/2015 10:39 PM
76
all of the above.
6/8/2015 10:09 PM
77
Adapt/adjust a very, very close second.
6/8/2015 9:51 PM
78
My faith is not rooted in one culture or language. God is defined by my culture
6/8/2015 9:22 PM
79
Actually, all of the above!
6/8/2015 8:00 PM
80
I would swap MK with TCK in all these questions, that'd make it more accurate for me
6/8/2015 7:47 PM
81
All of the above.
6/8/2015 7:29 PM
82
All the above equally!
6/8/2015 6:56 PM
24 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q8 I identify as:
Answered: 713
Skipped: 30
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
Straight
An active
member of the
LGBTQ community
(specify only...
I identify as
LGBTQ, but don't
engage in the
community or...
I'd rather not

say (that's
absolutely
fine!)
Answer Choices
Responses
Straight
95.79%
683
An active member of the LGBTQ community (specify only if you're comfortable doing so)
1.82%
13
I identify as LGBTQ, but don't engage in the community or lifestyle
0.98%
I'd rather not say (that's absolutely fine!)
1.40%
10
Total
713
Date
what is the LGBTQ community?
6/27/2015 2:57 AM
Bisexual, trans Mk boyfriend
6/27/2015 1:16 AM
compassionate - we are who we are . . . .
6/26/2015 6:44 PM
I assume you are using the word 'straight' as opposed to 'gay', but I never consider myself that way. I am a
normal heterosexual guy, the way God made me.
6/26/2015 6:39 AM
I do not understand this question
6/25/2015 3:59 PM
Whats this LGBTQ? It would have been good to explain it for non-native English speakers?
6/24/2015 2:12 PM
The LGBTQ was a brand new concept for me.
6/17/2015 10:11 PM
I don't understand the question
6/15/2015 12:24 PM
I am bisexual, but not out. I have some community with other LGBTQ Christians but am in a straight marriage.
6/13/2015 12:32 PM
10
but have had curiosity in the past
6/13/2015 7:01 AM
11
Only one spouse since 1986 - still married.
6/12/2015 6:41 AM
12
Straight but struggle
6/10/2015 3:59 PM
13
THANK YOU FOR ASKING THIS god no one ever does. Tears.
6/10/2015 12:32 PM
14
Not sure what this is
6/10/2015 12:17 PM
15
Why is this relevant??
6/10/2015 8:19 AM
25 / 157
SurveyMonkey
16
I am a straight ally, and actively advocate for LGBTQ rights.
6/9/2015 9:51 PM
17
A sinner, but striving for sexual purity as defined by the Bible.
6/9/2015 9:23 PM
18
I'm a strong supporter of my LGBTQ friends and family
6/9/2015 7:40 PM
19
You did not allow a category for being gay but not in the gay community. Also, "living as" can sound like you're
saying we aren't really gay but choosing to behave as gay. Sorry, we can be sensitive.
6/8/2015 9:58 PM
20
Been comfortable since I got to college!
6/8/2015 8:46 PM
26 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q9 My current relationship status is:

Answered: 719
Skipped: 24
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
Single never
married
Married
In a
live-in
relationshi
p
Divorced
and single
Answer Choices
Divorced
and
remarried
Widowed
Responses
Single - never married
27.68%
199
Married
59.25%
426
In a live-in relationship
1.81%
13
Divorced and single
4.45%
32
Divorced and remarried
5.42%
39
Widowed
1.39%
10
Total
719
Date
once. 32 years
6/27/2015 5:28 AM
you forgot widowed and remarried?
6/26/2015 11:09 PM
Engaged to be married
6/26/2015 10:41 PM
but only because my children are citizens of a narrow minded southern US state
6/26/2015 6:44 PM
Getting married in a few weeks :)
6/25/2015 7:58 PM
I was married 43 years to one man.
6/25/2015 7:28 PM
Also widowed
6/25/2015 6:15 PM
Never been in a relationship serious or otherwise
6/23/2015 9:16 PM
I am 23 and have dated one man for three months.
6/19/2015 3:48 AM
10
In a domestic partnership
6/18/2015 1:07 PM
11
engaged
6/18/2015 1:19 AM
12
In a serious relationship progressing toward marriage
6/13/2015 11:55 AM
13
I'm only 20
6/11/2015 8:23 PM
27 / 157
SurveyMonkey
14
Dating
6/11/2015 12:32 AM
15
twice divorced
6/10/2015 11:21 AM
16
53 years to a wonderful NON MK
6/10/2015 7:20 AM
17
In a monogamous, lesbian relationship for 23 years and have adopted a child.
6/10/2015 3:27 AM
18
Wife left me after having an affair.
6/9/2015 9:23 PM
19
Will be married in a few weeks!
6/9/2015 4:29 PM
20
20 years together. We plan to get married when it is really legal.
6/8/2015 8:46 PM
28 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q10 I married or am in a long-term romantic

relationship with:
Answered: 713
Skipped: 30
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
Another MK
A person who
has a year or
more of
cross-cultura...
A person who
has
cross-cultural
interests, bu...
A person who
has no
cross-cultural
experience or...
Answer Choices
Responses
Another MK
18.34%
97
A person who has a year or more of cross-cultural experience
31.57%
167
A person who has cross-cultural interests, but not experience
30.06%
159
A person who has no cross-cultural experience or interest
20.04%
106
Total
529
Date
I'm divorced- was married to a non Mk for 15 years. This deeply affected our relationship in negative ways.
6/27/2015 1:08 AM
I've so far only had serious relationships with mks; it's attractive to me- the genuiness and depth, more than the
label.
6/26/2015 10:12 PM
I was married a foreigner living in the States
6/26/2015 10:08 PM
My husband is 19 years older
6/26/2015 10:05 PM
we met when I was 11 . . . and our experiences / lives have intersected in many ways since our childhood
6/26/2015 6:44 PM
with short term experience, less than year
6/26/2015 5:17 PM
Missions trip experience though. My husband and I met when he came on a missions trip to Mexico when we
were both 15. I guess you could say that missions brought us together.
6/26/2015 4:48 PM
I japanese American who grew up in a predominately japanese American culture home.
6/26/2015 11:56 AM
I live in Japan and am married to a Japanese woman who went to Bible School in Canada.
6/26/2015 6:39 AM
10
I don't think this was a vital factor. I had a previous long-term relationship with someone with almost no crosscultural experience.
6/26/2015 6:16 AM
11
a non American
6/26/2015 3:51 AM
12
I was married to someone of a different culture and faith
6/26/2015 2:18 AM
13
willingness, but only been overseas once for about 2-3 mo
6/26/2015 1:24 AM
29 / 157
SurveyMonkey
14
When I was married, it was to a Norwegian who immigrated to Canada, where we met
6/26/2015 1:11 AM
15
My wife is from a foreign culture.
6/25/2015 9:23 PM
16
A person who has less than a year of cross cultural experience, and some interest
6/25/2015 7:58 PM
17
I grow up, and still live, in Honduras and my husband is a Honduran
6/25/2015 7:32 PM
18
when we married he had had no cross cultural experience. but we have served as missionaries in a cross cultural
setting for over 30 years
6/25/2015 7:01 PM
19
A PK. Missionary too
6/25/2015 6:34 PM
20
He was born, raised and lived all but one year in the same community. He was interested in my cross-cultural
experience as it related to who I was but was happy to stay where he knew and just visit other countries for a
week or two.
6/25/2015 9:41 AM
21
I was married ten years to a military brat.
6/25/2015 7:35 AM
22
I tended to fall in love easily when living abroad. Still I didn't want to end up in a marriage with a foreigner an
again living separated from all my relatives - this time volutarily, because of my marriage. i didn't fancy of bringing
up my kids-to-be totally separated from their motherside relatives, either.
6/25/2015 6:01 AM
23
when I married - now much more expeirience
6/25/2015 1:54 AM
24
interest might be a strong word for him, but is committed to missions
6/24/2015 11:21 PM
25
And got divorced 7 years later. Current live-in girlfriend has cross-cultural experience.
6/24/2015 9:47 PM
26
My husband's deceased wife was also an MK! ??
6/24/2015 4:46 PM
27
We went to Latin America and Navajo reservation after we were married.
6/24/2015 3:33 PM
28
But he had no cross-cultural experience when we were married.
6/24/2015 7:42 AM
29
Now divorced.
6/24/2015 7:11 AM
30
Initially insignificant because craved roots, but increasingly painful.
6/23/2015 11:07 PM
31
Well, some, but not that much really, for himself. But he doesn't dismiss mine.
6/23/2015 9:36 AM
32
Several short term mission trips that add up to a little less then a year
6/20/2015 12:29 PM
33
Another option could be: married to a foreign national. I'd have chosen that one.
6/18/2015 6:55 PM
34
I chose that as the best option; my husband probably hasn't served quite the total of a year cross-culturally, but
he has been on many mission trips.
6/18/2015 11:23 AM
35
My husband is the son of immigrants
6/18/2015 5:16 AM
36
I am married to a pastors kid
6/18/2015 2:16 AM
37
My husband is Filipino American
6/18/2015 1:49 AM
38
My spouse attended an international boarding school in the states as a day student. His family is second
generation European immigrant. I believe our joint interest in Asia, music, and missions is what brought us
together. He never expected to marry someone of his own culture or race, due to identifying as an Asian. :)
6/17/2015 10:11 PM
39
Although Elizabeth did live in England for 15 months. (from Australia)
6/15/2015 9:21 PM
40
But has intrest. We live in Los Angeles a city of countries
6/14/2015 11:04 AM
41
She has now but not when we married
6/14/2015 8:30 AM
42
It's been a challenge! My husband is pretty monocultural.
6/13/2015 12:32 PM
43
She has some experience but not alot.
6/12/2015 5:18 PM
44
Now I'm divorced.
6/11/2015 3:56 AM
45
married to a non-US citizen
6/10/2015 3:56 PM
46
I married a patient man from a city on the US east coast, and then lived 16 years overseas together. :-)
6/10/2015 2:04 PM
30 / 157
SurveyMonkey
47
He traveled internationally growing up--his dad was a pilot
6/10/2015 12:19 PM
48
18 years and counting!
6/10/2015 10:45 AM
49
Most of his cross-cultural experience has come AFTER we were married, though...
6/10/2015 8:19 AM
50
My spouse really doesn't understand my background, or how it affects me, or has affected me. This has been
hard. I think it has hurt my marriage. I have adapted to this by trying to adapt to her experience, but I do feel loss
in doing so.
6/9/2015 8:25 PM
51
My spouse has traveled extensively but never lived in another country.
6/9/2015 7:40 PM
52
My husband's dad is also an MK.
6/9/2015 7:03 PM
53
I am in a cross-cultural marriage, U.S. to Venezuelan
6/9/2015 6:55 PM
54
When we got married, 3 mo of cross cultural experience. Now he has 15 years of cc experience.
6/9/2015 6:19 PM
55
Board member's daughter - I married up!
6/9/2015 5:32 PM
56
My husband did a some short missions trip as a young adult, but grew up in the same place. Sorry not any real
applicable options.
6/9/2015 4:59 PM
57
Married to a PK
6/9/2015 4:40 PM
58
I am married to someone from another country.
6/9/2015 4:40 PM
59
My husband's family emigrated from Venezuela to Canada when he was about 13 years old.
6/9/2015 4:17 PM
60
I just got out of a long-term relationship with another MK.
6/9/2015 1:05 PM
61
Been in two relationships with people with no cross-cultural experience and very little interest.
6/9/2015 12:00 PM
62
Great great grandson of Hudson Taylor
6/9/2015 9:28 AM
63
an international
6/9/2015 9:00 AM
64
I married a PK and we have been/are serving overseas.
6/8/2015 11:33 PM
65
7 months of cross-cultural experience, but VERY mono-cultural American!
6/8/2015 10:03 PM
66
Well traveled, some cross cultural experience. And she loves me. :)
6/8/2015 9:54 PM
67
who is of a different culture
6/8/2015 9:45 PM
68
Only experience is being deployed to Iraq as a soldier.
6/8/2015 8:49 PM
69
I married someone from the country we were serving in.
6/8/2015 8:15 PM
70
Someone who is 19 years older
6/8/2015 7:17 PM
71
My only truly successful marriage has been with someone who also grew up elsewhere (in my case, an Italian
who moved to the US as an adult).
6/8/2015 7:16 PM
72
husband is a bi-cultural american by birth (as am I) and was homeschooled just I was
6/8/2015 7:12 PM
73
This is a huge gift I don't take for granted!!!
6/8/2015 7:00 PM
31 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q11 Because I'm an MK:

Answered: 671
Skipped: 72
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
I crave deep
relationships
I avoid deep
relationships
Answer Choices
I sabotage deep
relationships
Responses
I crave deep relationships
74.37%
499
I avoid deep relationships
18.63%
125
I sabotage deep relationships
7.00%
47
Total
671
Date
Which is difficult because sometimes I expect more from relationships
6/27/2015 9:32 AM
with non MK's
6/27/2015 5:24 AM
I need deep relationships
6/27/2015 2:57 AM
It's usually unintentionally done.
6/27/2015 2:34 AM
I crave them as well. but I can't trust them or let them grow easily
6/27/2015 2:09 AM
Long distance deep relationships work v well for me
6/27/2015 1:16 AM
I both crave and sabotage them
6/26/2015 10:41 PM
I crave deep relationships, but find them extremely difficult to make.
6/26/2015 10:12 PM
Both crave and avoid
6/26/2015 7:39 PM
10
don't really think this has anything to do with being an MK, rather, who I am . . .
6/26/2015 6:44 PM
11
I can't say that my relationship"cravings" have anything to do with being an mk
6/26/2015 3:49 PM
12
I share deeply, but on a very narrow, safe scope.
6/26/2015 2:29 PM
13
a few relationships
6/26/2015 1:17 PM
14
None of these are applicable.
6/26/2015 9:26 AM
15
None of these really fit.
6/26/2015 6:39 AM
16
None of the above
6/26/2015 6:16 AM
32 / 157
SurveyMonkey
17
all of the above. i love deep relationships, i avoid them depending on whether i plan to stay in the area, and my
American friends all seem to thoroughly enjoy the intimacy until a few years into it, and all of a sudden i no longer
meet their expectation. Something happens and every single friendship ends with them wanting more than i can
give. im not sure what im doing wrong.
6/26/2015 3:51 AM
18
Not sure it's related to being an mk but sabotage I do ??
6/26/2015 2:18 AM
19
I tend to be introverted, but I don't think that is because I'm an MK
6/26/2015 1:56 AM
20
but would I say it's *because* I'm an MK or because that is more my tendency/personality?
6/26/2015 1:24 AM
21
It takes me awhile to allow others to delve deep.
6/25/2015 11:45 PM
22
I limit the number of deep relationships
6/25/2015 11:40 PM
23
Not sure
6/25/2015 11:37 PM
24
I crave both romantic and non-romantic relationships, but I've never been in a romantic one, and I don't know how
to keep a non-romantic one... for too long.
6/25/2015 10:51 PM
25
Crave, but avoid until trustworthiness proven
6/25/2015 9:09 PM
26
None of the above
6/25/2015 8:39 PM
27
I don't think it has to do with being an MK though.
6/25/2015 7:42 PM
28
I am comfortable with my relationships... though often find myself as the 'helper' party...
6/25/2015 7:07 PM
29
but don't know how to maintain one face-to-face for more than a year or so
6/25/2015 6:51 PM
30
I crave them but find it takes knowing someone a long time before I really invest in the relationship.
6/25/2015 6:35 PM
31
But it takes a long while for me to truly open up.
6/25/2015 6:34 PM
32
But that does not mean it is because I am an MK. Poorly phrased question
6/25/2015 5:49 PM
33
Not necessarily because I'm an MK
6/25/2015 9:58 AM
34
I appreciate long relationships with all my friends. I think it's somehow very good-doing to meet them again and
again after decades. And I do appreciate being able to share my big events with my family. However, I think I
would let my children choose a totally different path: I wouldn't miss them to death if they moved abroad. Maybe
there's a certain ration of missing each individual can well bear. Mine became full during my childhood years in a
boarding school. It's not a traumatic experience, but I do know what missing ones parents is and I wouldn't
recommend it to many a child.
6/25/2015 6:01 AM
35
None....most folks don't get close enough though they often think they do
6/25/2015 12:43 AM
36
Crave and avoid - both
6/25/2015 12:09 AM
37
I am selective about deep relationships
6/24/2015 11:36 PM
38
all of the above at the same time
6/24/2015 11:36 PM
39
All of the above
6/24/2015 11:10 PM
40
I don't think being an MK makes me any of the above
6/24/2015 9:32 PM
41
but with few people, don't want many 'friends'
6/24/2015 8:38 PM
42
I have balanced relationships
6/24/2015 7:58 PM
43
Haven't really thought about it.
6/24/2015 7:50 PM
44
People tell me I am one of the most open people they've ever met. I have many genuinely close friends, not just
in name/words.
6/24/2015 5:42 PM
45
Don't think it is relevant to quality of relationships
6/24/2015 4:08 PM
46
I love deep relationships, but I don't think it is because I was an MK
6/24/2015 3:19 PM
47
um I crave deep relationships, but not necessarily because I'm an MK. I do have a harder time forging those
relationships (sometimes), though. And that, I believe, is related to the fact that I'm an MK.
6/24/2015 9:50 AM
33 / 157
SurveyMonkey
48
I don't think this is because I'm an MK. Everyone craves deep relationships but is terrified of them as well
6/24/2015 2:20 AM
49
I have few close friends, not sure if it's a personality issue or having more to do with my upbringing
6/23/2015 11:46 PM
50
But can also be overly picky about what kinds.
6/23/2015 11:07 PM
51
Crave but avoid them because I won't be understood or I'll be known to be too strange.
6/23/2015 10:17 PM
52
none of the above
6/23/2015 9:24 PM
53
But I'm not sure that the craving comes from being an MK since I always have wanted deep relationships.
6/23/2015 9:16 PM
54
None apply to me. I am thankful for some deep relationships that I have but it's not something I crave, avoid or try
to sabotage.
6/23/2015 3:16 PM
55
Just to mark one. I am happily married (38 years) and have 10 children.
6/23/2015 11:59 AM
56
I alos crave and avoid them. But was also Sexually abused by my brother so have intimacy issues from that as
well. hard to know what caused the damage to my flip flopping relationship style. Wanting and then pushing away
6/22/2015 9:44 AM
57
None of the above
6/19/2015 10:27 PM
58
I suppose this is not especially MK trait, though.
6/19/2015 6:01 AM
59
However much they scare me when I think about deep relationships, I thrive on them. I need them. I seek them
out wherever I go. There is too much in this world and in my heart to not be able to go deep and be real with
another person.
6/19/2015 3:48 AM
60
I also avoid them due to not wanting to have to say goodbye
6/18/2015 8:41 PM
61
People have said that I am a very closed off person and they feel they don't get to really know me until I seem
safe enough to do so.
6/18/2015 3:47 PM
62
Don't know how to answer this one.
6/17/2015 10:34 PM
63
These deep relationships have affected me in several different ways. Some have lasted and some have turned
into the most dramatic "friend break-ups". It has been difficult to choose and keep up with relationships after
college and marriage and family building. It is still a very immportant aspect of my life.
6/17/2015 10:11 PM
64
I also avoid them, and sometimes sabotage them out of my own fear of life and its crap.
6/17/2015 8:57 PM
65
!?
6/17/2015 5:13 PM
66
Those are the only three options?
6/17/2015 4:07 PM
67
The second option is also sometimes true - while I crave deep relationships, I am very slow to develop them.
6/17/2015 3:53 PM
68
I drave but also sabotaged and was not able to be enough open. I hope I learned a lot by my mistakes.
6/16/2015 2:55 PM
69
crave and avoid deep relationships, actually.
6/15/2015 3:27 PM
70
I just never knew how to create/maintain deep relationships bc of insecurity from not being perfect and feeling
different and unwanted
6/14/2015 5:41 PM
71
Until about 5 years ago, I avoided deep relationships.
6/14/2015 9:12 AM
72
None of the above - again, you are leading the witness, I have an adequate balance or deep relationships
6/13/2015 10:19 PM
73
Goodness, this is where all of my issues with adult friendship come from.
6/13/2015 12:32 PM
74
But I am not good at upkeeping them when they are not in my current geographical location.
6/12/2015 5:18 PM
75
But I have always done that, even before being one. Being an mk just added to that because it helped me
experience more of those and feel the need for more of those when I am somewhere I don't have them
6/11/2015 8:23 PM
76
I am skeptical of deep relationships.
6/11/2015 8:20 PM
77
I'm not sure how much is atributable to being an MK or my personality
6/11/2015 3:57 PM
78
All of the above!
6/11/2015 12:32 AM
79
None of the above. I don't crave or avoid deep relationships because I'm an MK.
6/10/2015 11:09 PM
80
I prefer few but deeper relationships, slow to open up, but I don't think it's bc I'm an MK.
6/10/2015 3:56 PM
34 / 157
SurveyMonkey
81
But I've become jaded and tired of making the effort. It's a paradox.
6/10/2015 11:56 AM
82
only if I know that I will be in touch with that person long-term. Remember I hate "goodbyes" like the plague
6/10/2015 11:36 AM
83
Frankly, between jobs and keeping the kids alive, any relationships would be great.
6/10/2015 10:45 AM
84
I don't think this is "because"...
6/10/2015 8:19 AM
85
I'd throw this question out. The MK aspect of me is but one factor of many that weighs on this
6/10/2015 6:21 AM
86
None of the above
6/10/2015 4:11 AM
87
I don't know
6/10/2015 3:27 AM
88
I don't feel any of these apply to me. I believe I'd want deep relationships because of my inherent personality not
because I'm an MK
6/10/2015 12:51 AM
89
I crave them but also recognize that I tend to run from them because I'm scared. I could check all three of those
boxes and mean it. I can only handle so much deep relationship at once and NEW deep relationships are
definitely hard.
6/10/2015 12:01 AM
90
I feel uneasy about deep relationships and both crave and avoid them
6/9/2015 11:58 PM
91
I crave them on one level but tend to avoid them when having depth can become a reality.
6/9/2015 10:57 PM
92
Again, all of the above. I find that my growing up experience of "new kids every year" made me develop quick,
but shallow, relationships. Some relationships have lasted, but I wish there were more. To the sabotage option, I
suspect that I do this without knowing that I am doing it. I relate instantly, but don't do the things necessary to
build a long term relationship.
6/9/2015 9:51 PM
93
I don't any of the options are a cause because I'm an MK, just a result of being human.
6/9/2015 8:15 PM
94
N/A
6/9/2015 7:46 PM
95
These are all extreme situations that I do not identify with. Also, I think the standard/definition of "deep
relationship" is different for MKs.
6/9/2015 7:12 PM
96
I crave deep relationships and yet tend to avoid them at the same time because it is hard to find people with
whom I can actually have the deep relationship that I crave
6/9/2015 6:55 PM
97
Surface relationships are easy, deep ones are hard. I treasure the few good deep relationships I have.
6/9/2015 6:26 PM
98
I quickly form but don't mainatain from a distanc deep relationships
6/9/2015 6:19 PM
99
I crave deep relationships, but I often find that I am also scared of deep relationships.
6/9/2015 6:11 PM
100
I also crave them at times, but it's usually not worth the time and emotional energy to persist in holding onto
relationships with people I only see once in a while, no matter how much I love them, miss them, and reconnect
when I see them again.
6/9/2015 5:31 PM
101
None of the above
6/9/2015 5:16 PM
102
I do all of the above
6/9/2015 4:40 PM
103
Not sure it applies, but I let go of relationships more completely. Too easily sometimes.
6/9/2015 4:38 PM
104
I crave deep relationships but I am afraid to let someone in to see who I am at the core and commitment terrifies
me!
6/9/2015 4:32 PM
105
but I do the others too
6/9/2015 4:29 PM
106
Probably all three
6/9/2015 4:28 PM
107
I crave them but don't know how to build them/don't have the patience to build them.
6/9/2015 4:22 PM
108
at times this is true, but I also deeply crave deep relationships.
6/9/2015 4:00 PM
109
But find I only really connect with other cultures. I really really struggle to make real friends or connect with locals
(in my "birth country").
6/9/2015 2:12 PM
110
Not sure how being an MK affects my relationships tbh. My personality seems much more relevant.
6/9/2015 1:53 PM
111
Neither crave nor avoid deep relationships... but don't have many!
6/9/2015 1:41 PM
35 / 157
SurveyMonkey
112
I crave deep relationships, but I'm scared to initiate them.
6/9/2015 1:05 PM
113
pretending that they just weren't working out, but really, I was choosing relationships that wouldn't work out, so I
could control the outcome
6/9/2015 11:57 AM
114
I can relate to all three options above, but at the most fundamental level I mostly crave deep relationships.
6/9/2015 11:41 AM
115
But if one comes along i try to nourish it.
6/9/2015 10:14 AM
116
Desire many types of relationships, but I don't find that desire different from any of my non MK peers
6/9/2015 9:11 AM
117
i dont crave it. i enjoy it.
6/9/2015 8:37 AM
118
all of the above!
6/9/2015 7:55 AM
119
I think to an extent, I'm all three. I mainly crave deep relationships, but I do find myself avoiding people I'm getting
too close too or avoiding certain conversations, and I think there have been some relationships that I have tried to
sabotage.
6/9/2015 3:03 AM
120
Was married for 13 years, have deep friendships, but avoiding relationships
6/9/2015 12:08 AM
121
I would say that because I'm a believer, I crave deep relationships.
6/8/2015 10:41 PM
122
I think this is influenced by more than just MK-ness.
6/8/2015 9:58 PM
123
But I'm really bad at them.
6/8/2015 9:54 PM
124
I don't know how to have deep relationships
6/8/2015 9:45 PM
125
This avoidance or just being too busy to invest and maintain some of the great friendships I have because I'm so
busy disturbs me. I noticed this occurring about 8 years ago, but just continued with my pattern of keeping up
with my schedule of a demanding job, motherhood and family.
6/8/2015 9:32 PM
126
I crave them but I also fear getting too close because I can't handle the thought of losing another close
relationship
6/8/2015 9:27 PM
127
I enjoy deep relationships but do not crave them. I am not interdependent.
6/8/2015 8:18 PM
128
Hhmmm ... none of the above? Being an MK is not the only factor in my personhood.
6/8/2015 7:32 PM
36 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q12 I think that being an MK:

Answered: 706
Skipped: 37
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
Makes
relationships
easier for me
Makes
relationships
harder for me
Makes
relationships
more confusing
for me
Doesn't affect
me at all in my
relationships
Answer Choices
Responses
Makes relationships easier for me
20.82%
147
Makes relationships harder for me
36.69%
259
Makes relationships more confusing for me
32.15%
227
Doesn't affect me at all in my relationships
10.34%
73
Total
706
Date
I always ask myself "am I going to know this person for a long time?" If the answer is no, then I don't go any
further than a surface level relationship.
6/27/2015 2:34 AM
all of the above
6/26/2015 11:23 PM
Easier to start, harder to continue
6/26/2015 10:41 PM
not a factor - we are who we are . . .
6/26/2015 6:44 PM
Only in the area of not wanting just superficial relationships.
6/26/2015 4:48 PM
Deep or nothing.
6/26/2015 8:19 AM
I wanted to check every single box. I think this question really depends on the relationship in question. Still, this is
the general answer.
6/26/2015 1:50 AM
confusing is not the right word. i would say challenging. complex.
6/26/2015 12:11 AM
I had to pick that because I still feel that it is contextual at times. Whatever context I am in is going to dictate the
kind of relationships I am going to choose to have.
6/25/2015 11:45 PM
10
I love establishing friendships, holding on to them is harder. Romance isn't even applicable for me. I wouldn't
know.
6/25/2015 10:51 PM
11
Lack of cultural connections in the US can make it more difficult to connect with people on the US.
6/25/2015 9:23 PM
12
..goes back to the overdeveloped wings and cynicism regarding the permanence of anything
6/25/2015 9:07 PM
13
The constant loss of friends over the years makes it difficult to engage in any deep relationship and I have seen it
effects of that on my current dating relationship.
6/25/2015 8:05 PM
37 / 157
SurveyMonkey
14
Especially long term relationships. Growing up with so many teams makes short term relationships easy.
6/25/2015 7:32 PM
15
This is impossible to answer.
6/25/2015 7:07 PM
16
speaking with girlfriend relationships not a marriage relationship
6/25/2015 7:01 PM
17
As in, I can adapt and fit with almost anyone. I imagine that is partially because of having different roommates
every three months that I had to live with.
6/25/2015 9:41 AM
18
I don't know! Relationships are hard for everyone!
6/25/2015 7:35 AM
19
Having moved many times has taught me how to make friends again and again. Having lived in many places and
countries also helps me to see all people as potential friends and not dividing people to "my people" and "other
people".
6/25/2015 6:01 AM
20
It makes me go deeper, more intensely into relationships, and be more blunt and honest.
6/24/2015 2:51 PM
21
it does affect me, but none of these options for me are applicable.
6/24/2015 9:50 AM
22
relationships with non-MKs are harder for me
6/23/2015 8:35 PM
23
Romantic or not, every single relationship I have/had are so different I often wonder who I really am when I'm in a
social setting....
6/20/2015 1:17 PM
24
I think there is a difference but neither good nor bad but just an area I know some friends get and some don't.
6/19/2015 10:27 PM
25
It makes some relationships really easy, and others really hard.
6/19/2015 9:36 PM
26
When I first enter into a new situation I take my time in figuring the place out. Then once I do I throw myself into
the place and people I want to.
6/19/2015 3:48 AM
27
being a TCK has a deeper effect than being an MK
6/18/2015 8:41 PM
28
As a child/teen being an MK made developing relationships harder, as I tried to figure out how to "fit in". But over
the years as an adult, I find it now easier to develop relationships. I feel more comfortable with who I am.
6/18/2015 8:18 PM
29
Makes relationship-making far different than monoculturals
6/18/2015 6:55 PM
30
I find it easy to make friends but easy to leave them as well
6/18/2015 2:16 AM
31
My ability to have good relationships stems more from my family of origin than being an MK.
6/17/2015 10:34 PM
32
It has been both easy and hard for me to create and maintain relationships. I have come to find that other people
do not have the same ideas as I do about keeping a deep relationship, no matter the distance or depth.
6/17/2015 10:11 PM
33
Both easier and harder. Ease and strength at connecting quickly and deeply and with many...but also complexity
of a lot more walls/struggles with deeper intimacy.
6/17/2015 3:13 PM
34
They made it difficult but I think positively and that it is lot of skills and attitude and path of endless learning.
6/16/2015 2:55 PM
35
But this may just be me not being used to "dating" I have never dated anyone yet.
6/16/2015 5:05 AM
36
It makes simple/surface relationships easy, but deep/good friend type relationips harder.
6/14/2015 6:50 AM
37
Would not say that Easier, Harder and Confusing are the right words. I would say I am more cautious about
establishing long term relationships.
6/13/2015 10:19 PM
38
Especially leftover pieces of culture from where I grew up-eg not looking a guy in the eye sabotaged my
schooling for a long time when I had male teachers. You can guess how hard it was to be friends with boys, let
alone have a relationship!
6/13/2015 6:29 PM
39
I expect more.
6/13/2015 12:32 PM
40
easier for short term relationships but harder for long term
6/13/2015 7:01 AM
41
Cultural context and clues can be an issue. I tend to make friends with those who have lived in multiple cultures
or who have a deep faith.
6/12/2015 6:41 AM
42
And makes them harder too. I can seek to understand others more easily and have compassion for their
situation. I also and fully relate to some cultural things I have not grown up with
6/11/2015 8:23 PM
43
easier and harder at the same time
6/10/2015 3:56 PM
38 / 157
SurveyMonkey
44
Confusing because I still tend to open up and go deep quicker than "normal" people
6/10/2015 12:39 PM
45
It makes it difficult to relate to certain people in the ways I desire/understand
6/10/2015 12:19 PM
46
Should be easier, but I probably make it harder than it has to.
6/10/2015 11:56 AM
47
Usually it makes relationships easier, but sometimes it makes things harder, when the other person wants a more
gradual approach to relationship than my normal, MK-like "jump in feet-first" approach.
6/10/2015 7:07 AM
48
Not sure whether relationships are easier or harder, or even more confusing... it's hard to quantify whether my
challenges are MK challenges or personality challenges
6/9/2015 11:27 PM
49
No clue how I would be different.
6/9/2015 10:09 PM
50
To borrow from Facebook, It's complicated.
6/9/2015 9:51 PM
51
Fear of abandonment probably makes me too clingy. Being divorced against my will and desiring to follow Biblical
admonition, leaves me with only a single future outlook. I feel wounded and distrustful of women in general, but
find comfort and joy in my relationship with God.
6/9/2015 9:23 PM
52
Except for intimate ones
6/9/2015 8:29 PM
53
I look for faith in my relationships
6/9/2015 7:46 PM
54
Not sure
6/9/2015 7:44 PM
55
Tough question!
6/9/2015 7:40 PM
56
I think I dive deep into relationships, but I long for deep lasting ones.
6/9/2015 6:41 PM
57
See above comment. Easier to begin relationships, harder to maintain.
6/9/2015 6:26 PM
58
too hard to answer this one. I connect quickly with people, and I think I am genuine in teh relationship (not
pretending), but it's too hard to maintain it when we part ways. Then it gets confusing and achy when I think
about them and I feel guilty for not making more of an effort to stay in touch across the miles (continents!).
6/9/2015 5:31 PM
59
Being an MK isn't the problem. The problem is my parents were not nurturing.
6/9/2015 5:20 PM
60
I can say goodbye to people much too easily.
6/9/2015 4:59 PM
61
I think as a child it made relationships hard.
6/9/2015 4:14 PM
62
I want that depth of relationship, but don't know what it looks like to invest long-term
6/9/2015 3:08 PM
63
Maybe it does affect me... but I can't judge which is more important, my MK experience or my natural personality
6/9/2015 1:41 PM
64
I don't think it makes relationships easier or harder than for anyone else, just different.
6/9/2015 11:33 AM
65
With other MKs it's natural and easy. Within American culture it's soooo challenging.
6/9/2015 9:54 AM
66
It definitely affects the way I do relationships, but generally I fins relationships are easy with people that
understand that/are similar in how they do relationships. Also I've had to sometimes communicate how I might go
about relationships differently, and hope the other person cares enough to adapt to me and allow me time to
adapt to them.
6/9/2015 3:03 AM
67
I am deeply relational. Without relationships you've got nothing.
6/9/2015 1:46 AM
68
Not sure.
6/8/2015 10:41 PM
69
Had so much practice making new friends
6/8/2015 10:03 PM
70
Harder in some ways, easier in others. Hard to generalize.
6/8/2015 9:58 PM
71
I'm unsure about this
6/8/2015 9:32 PM
72
Confusion occurs both ways and makes relationships harder, but the adjusting I have to do in every relationship
makes it more difficult. I have to approach each relationship as encountering another culture.
6/8/2015 8:06 PM
73
Once upon a time I would have said being an MK made things harder, but after having worked through some of
the emotional scars that came from constant moving and losses I have come to crave relationships more and am
more open now than ever.
6/8/2015 7:38 PM
39 / 157
SurveyMonkey
74
I can easily connect and go deep with anyone however I don't always feel on the same page. And others often
don't know what to do with me
6/8/2015 7:00 PM
75
Saying so many goodbyes takes its toll after a while.
6/8/2015 6:55 PM
40 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q13 As an MK, I think the greatest

detriment to relationships for me is:
Answered: 676
Skipped: 67
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
Never having
had long-term
relationships
Being highly
mobile
(moving
frequently)
Struggling
with normal,
gradual and
lengthy...
Not wanting
to invest in
relationships
that could...
Not trusting
myself in
relationships
Answer Choices
Responses
Never having had long-term relationships
9.47%
64
Being highly mobile (moving frequently)
21.01%
142
Struggling with normal, gradual and lengthy descents into true relationship (often the mono-cultural norm)
35.50%
240
Not wanting to invest in relationships that could cause pain at eventual separation
23.08%
156
Not trusting myself in relationships
10.95%
74
Total
676
Date
I don't think I am afraid of seperation, I just have high expectations and don't find many people worth the effort
6/27/2015 5:24 AM
Separation was a given, so I chose not to invest too greatly while overseas
6/26/2015 10:41 PM
Sharing too much, too soon
6/26/2015 10:14 PM
Is there an all of them option? :D
6/26/2015 10:12 PM
. . . evangelical Christian indoctrination
6/26/2015 6:44 PM
Or not trusting others. Because I know that other MKs won't do things that would hurt me, but not everyone in
America was raised that way.
6/26/2015 5:58 PM
Tho I don't think of it as a detriment.
6/26/2015 6:39 AM
But it's not a significant detriment.
6/26/2015 6:16 AM
I don't know what i want or expect from relationships anymore
6/26/2015 2:14 AM
10
I think the third and fourth answers are also very relevant in my life. When diving into friendships I've never felt
that i was "too deep, too fast" but instead just "deeper, faster." I think finding a balance between "my normal" and
"your normal" is part of cross cultural interacting, whether at home or abroad.
6/26/2015 1:50 AM
41 / 157
SurveyMonkey
11
I become discouraged when relationships take so much time and feel that, if it's so gradual or lengthy, it's not
going anywhere. But I have had long-term relationships by now, currently the oldest is from college, we've been
friends for....nearly 10 yrs. Being highly mobile has not helped, though.
6/26/2015 1:24 AM
12
I had a hard time choosing. I do struggle with gradual relationships, but getting better. I don't know how far to let
myself go, so I don't always trust myself and end up cutting it short.
6/25/2015 10:51 PM
13
Relationships are what I am best at and what I value most.
6/25/2015 8:09 PM
14
None of these realy apply
6/25/2015 6:15 PM
15
other than my husband
6/25/2015 3:44 PM
16
None of the above.
6/25/2015 1:57 PM
17
none of the above
6/25/2015 8:52 AM
18
none of the above
6/25/2015 7:02 AM
19
being an MK has not been detrimental in relationships
6/25/2015 1:54 AM
20
None of those makes sense to me
6/24/2015 9:32 PM
21
I don't struggle in having relationships
6/24/2015 7:58 PM
22
None of the above
6/24/2015 7:50 PM
23
None of these are true for me. I have many deep long-lasting relationships with other MK's as well as those who
have never been MK's.
6/24/2015 4:46 PM
24
Not relevant to quality or health of relationships - more the parenting
6/24/2015 4:08 PM
25
none of the above
6/24/2015 3:19 PM
26
Not sure, but I go deeper maybe more quickly?
6/24/2015 2:05 PM
27
I think my sinful nature has more to do with struggles in relationships than my being an MK
6/24/2015 2:20 AM
28
Also fear of painful loss.
6/23/2015 11:07 PM
29
I feel like I have to find another MK to marry. Currently nervous to begin a relationship because he's just so...
American
6/20/2015 11:24 PM
30
ALL of the options if possible.
6/20/2015 1:17 PM
31
I believe it is other issues not being an MK
6/19/2015 10:27 PM
32
I can't relate to any of these.
6/19/2015 6:01 AM
33
For the most part even when I knew I was going to move from a place or someone was moving I didn't let that
stop me from befriending them. I had them for the time being and if we made good friends I tried to embrace it.
Yeah, it was difficult, but at the same time... It was easier to live with friends while you could instead of missing
out on the opportunity of being friends. I have developed a coping mechanism though, that could be just as hurtful
to myself or them- when they are gone, I tend to just forget, not really trying to keep in touch, or anything like that.
One of my friends dubbed it 'phasing them out'.
6/19/2015 3:48 AM
34
again, not because I'm an MK, but because I'm a TCK
6/18/2015 8:41 PM
35
idiosyncracies from my parents, not from any particular culture
6/18/2015 6:55 PM
36
I have good relationships with whom I am currently with. I don't maintain them well with people from whom I am
now separated.
6/18/2015 3:43 PM
37
I continue to jump friendship levels and attempt to develop deep relationships too quickly. I feel like I overwhelm
myself and the new friends that I make.
6/17/2015 10:11 PM
38
This as well as not wanting to invest as I feel like all relationships come to an end far too quickly.
6/17/2015 3:15 PM
39
with lot of bad influence from my MK home country.
6/16/2015 2:55 PM
40
I am often dissatisfied with other people's faith, (although this is just arrogance on my part, because I am far from
perfect!)
6/16/2015 5:05 AM
42 / 157
SurveyMonkey
41
I cried when saying goodbye for the last time when I was 13. After that I just never attached to avoid the pain of
goodbye. (Counseling has done wonders for me in that arena)
6/14/2015 5:41 PM
42
Not sure of that one even just no none of these option
6/14/2015 8:30 AM
43
Huh .... ? This question makes no sense to me. This assumes that being an MK is detrimental? I personally feel
that my experience asn an MK has given me a much stronger awareness of "real" relationships and not the
pretentious relationships that we see in much of North America.
6/13/2015 10:19 PM
44
All of these, but the last one is what I'm dealing with right now.
6/13/2015 12:32 PM
45
+ the other two of the top three. I dive into relationships to quickly.
6/12/2015 5:18 PM
46
I have now lived in the same county/town for 12 years. The longest ever in one spot.
6/12/2015 6:41 AM
47
This is just something I have to work on. God is good and I trust Him to help me when I have doubts and fears.
He has always done so for me!
6/11/2015 8:23 PM
48
Not trusting others in relationships.
6/11/2015 8:20 PM
49
I hate just being in one place in an ordinary life, I find myself craving purpose and new experiences.
6/11/2015 3:56 AM
50
All the above :) Not having long term relationships because of frequent mobility. Because of this not trusting
people not to leave. And on top of this the monocultural way of building relationships is difficult.
6/10/2015 3:59 PM
51
none of this applies to me. we weren't highly mobile.
6/10/2015 3:56 PM
52
Not being able to cut loose and be fun with people, because the need to be reserved and circumspect is so
deeply ingrained into my life.
6/10/2015 10:45 AM
53
As I mentioned in the previous question, I tend to want to "jump right in" with friendships and get to a deep level of
friendship quickly. Often I find that people are fairly willing to go along with that, but sometimes (especially in the
US) I've felt rebuffed when monocultural people don't want to follow that model. (They weren't truly rebuffing me,
of course, but I felt like they were -- and I didn't know how to proceed in establishing those relationships.)
6/10/2015 7:07 AM
54
? I'm awesome at my (very few) relationships.
6/10/2015 3:30 AM
55
Again, I don't feel this fits me. I was an MK for 2 and half years only
6/10/2015 12:51 AM
56
Not living with people for long enough times to develop the kinds of relationships I would like to have developed
6/9/2015 11:27 PM
57
None of the above.
6/9/2015 10:09 PM
58
Assuming they will end early.
6/9/2015 9:43 PM
59
All of the above
6/9/2015 9:21 PM
60
I moved 14 times, and my parents never wanted me to find a girl. They sabotauged several relationships.
6/9/2015 8:42 PM
61
This is because of my job.
6/9/2015 8:15 PM
62
Other: not seeing famiky very often
6/9/2015 7:40 PM
63
I expect others to be as invested as I am and find that people tend to be shallow and takers rather than givers.
6/9/2015 7:24 PM
64
the other options apply as well, though
6/9/2015 4:29 PM
65
After moving to Canada as a teen, I often felt envious of people who had been friends their whole lives, when I
knew that I might never see my childhood friends again.
6/9/2015 4:17 PM
66
But again, I see this in mono-cultural people with my personality as well.
6/9/2015 1:53 PM
67
Qualified: never having had *many* long-term relationships. I would say I have had 4 or 5 such.
6/9/2015 1:41 PM
68
It's a toss up between that and the one above. (Struggling with normal, gradual and lengthy descents...)
6/9/2015 1:05 PM
69
Abandonment issues
6/9/2015 12:53 PM
70
Again, all of the above.
6/9/2015 11:41 AM
71
distance in proximity from others same age & same interests as me.
6/9/2015 8:37 AM
72
(I'm defining relationship as friendship, hope that's ok)
6/9/2015 3:03 AM
43 / 157
SurveyMonkey
73
Wanting to be free and do as I want
6/9/2015 12:08 AM
74
n/a
6/8/2015 10:41 PM
75
I tend to go deep right away but then forget them when we move.
6/8/2015 10:13 PM
76
I chose the first option but think options 3, 4, and 5 come as a result of 1.
6/8/2015 9:58 PM
77
other than family
6/8/2015 9:45 PM
78
This struggle came into play during the year I got married and we moved away from all family and friends to a job
in another city. Even after we returned to a new city closer to friends I landed the demanding job and noticed I
have struggled with directing my life in fulfilling ways. I hesitate and stopped taking the initiative when I never did
that before. Loss of confidence... Got lazy... Was tired with all the real demands of my time, unable to carve out
meaningful interaction.
6/8/2015 9:32 PM
79
Not trusting others and expecting them to eventually have enough
6/8/2015 7:25 PM
44 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q14 The closest relationships in my life

have been with:
Answered: 698
Skipped: 45
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
Other
MKs
My
immediate
family
Missionar
ies
MK Care
or
Member
Care
workers
My
non-MK
friends/c
olleagues
My
nonmissi
onary
extend...
Answer Choices
I don't
feel I've
had
really...
Responses
Other MKs
32.38%
226
My immediate family
39.68%
277
Missionaries
4.87%
34
MK Care or Member Care workers
0.29%
My non-MK friends/colleagues
17.34%
My non-missionary extended family
0.57%
I don't feel I've had really close relationships
4.87%
34
121
Total
698
Date
I seem to connect with many people who also have international experience
6/26/2015 11:23 PM
I have very close relationships across the board here...family first but scads of other non-TCK friends as well as
fellow TCKs, MK and others alike
6/26/2015 11:09 PM
They've all been scattered and short term, aside from my fiancee, but the ones that helped while on the field were
other MKs
6/26/2015 10:41 PM
Growing up I was closest with my family, now as a 24 yr old, my closest relationships are with non-MK friends.
6/26/2015 10:22 PM
The locals where i grew up and where i now reside as an adult
6/26/2015 10:21 PM
I have/had good Christian friends . . . but the trustworthy ones aren't Christian . . . .over and over again . . .
6/26/2015 6:44 PM
Both. Non MK and MKs have been my best friends.
6/26/2015 5:58 PM
It used to be my MK friends but the longer I'm away from the field the more my closest relationships are deep and
real friendships with only a couple of women I have been able to foster.
6/26/2015 4:48 PM
Whether someone is an MK or not doesn't affect my close relationships.
6/26/2015 9:26 AM
45 / 157
SurveyMonkey
10
Also other native (Japanese) pastors.
6/26/2015 6:39 AM
11
But not exclusively. Also non-MK friends and colleagues.
6/26/2015 6:16 AM
12
It's close though. Some of my closest college friends were not MKs and they are like sisters to me. I'm also close
with my family.
6/26/2015 1:50 AM
13
And other MK's
6/25/2015 11:50 PM
14
family but also the MK friends I made in college
6/25/2015 11:40 PM
15
My closest friends (except 1) all grew up overseas.
6/25/2015 10:51 PM
16
Non MKS that I grew up with.
6/25/2015 9:23 PM
17
I love my family very much, but the walls between us are built from hard experience, not the expectation of
betrayal. I love them deeply, but it's my friends to whom I confide in anything beyond the weather
6/25/2015 9:07 PM
18
and other mis
6/25/2015 7:01 PM
19
With my family and friends (mk or not it doesnt make a difference to me) there are so many people in the world
besides mks that have interesting, fascinating lives. I think this whole thing of MK being damaged and in need of
counseling is so strange. Many of us are doing just fine in the world today. I have many friends who are MKs and
my siblings are to and they are all living normal functional healthy lives with other non mks. .
6/25/2015 1:57 PM
20
And my church family as I have had the blessing of an amazing church family within my community and have
attended there for 30 years. They have seen me through raising my family and the difficultly of losing my husband
at a young age.
6/25/2015 9:41 AM
21
I also had very close relationship to my immediate family, parents and two sisters, but after 23 years of marriage
and for kids I feel the extended family to be the closest by now.
6/25/2015 6:01 AM
22
The first three
6/25/2015 2:10 AM
23
a large mix of the groups
6/25/2015 1:54 AM
24
MK's and other 3rd culture kids
6/25/2015 12:43 AM
25
or TCKs
6/24/2015 11:21 PM
26
The first three groups, and the general Christian community
6/24/2015 9:12 PM
27
I have great relationships with all the other categories listed
6/24/2015 7:58 PM
28
and MK and close friends since settling down and being married
6/24/2015 3:19 PM
29
Friends. Some were MKs, some not. My family, of course, is my closest relationship now
6/24/2015 2:20 AM
30
Also a few rare kindred spirits gifted with unusual directness and broad interests.
6/23/2015 11:07 PM
31
And other people from my home church
6/23/2015 9:16 PM
32
None of these fit.
6/23/2015 9:16 PM
33
And a few close friendships, some are MKs and some not
6/23/2015 9:36 AM
34
Just my sister I am close to
6/22/2015 9:44 AM
35
My extended family is made up of MKs or children of MKs, so I'm pretty surrounded
6/20/2015 11:24 PM
36
Immediate family meaning my husband, not my parents!
6/20/2015 7:52 AM
37
When I wasn't in my passport country my only friends were family, but I once I hit college and beyond my circle
of MK friends were the closest friends I have ever had. One of my younger sisters returned recently to our
passport country. We have been getting much close as we are a little older and our experiences have put us on
the same wavelength.
6/19/2015 3:48 AM
38
other TCKs but not necessarily MKs
6/18/2015 8:41 PM
39
I have a mixture of close friends who are MKs and non-MKs - it's a real mix.
6/18/2015 8:18 PM
40
Outside of my family almost all of my close friends are MKs, TCKs, first or second generation immigrants, or
people who have spent significant time living or working abroad as adults. /
6/18/2015 5:16 AM
46 / 157
SurveyMonkey
41
I have tried to have close friendships with non-MKs, but end up feeling like they only wanted to be me to be their
token "foreign" friend. or they simply wanted to hear my story and move on with their life. My Mks friends and I
need each other on a completely different level, as we try to manuver in the world outside of missions.
6/17/2015 10:11 PM
42
As well as other organization team members. But only a few that have stuck with me through the years.
6/17/2015 8:57 PM
43
As I age I am closer to family.
6/17/2015 4:33 PM
44
While not the deepest, my most. . .stable/permanent relationships have been with my mission 'aunts and uncles'
6/17/2015 3:51 PM
45
Both with MKs and (since university) non-MKs
6/17/2015 3:13 PM
46
Also some christian friends but I'm closest to the childhood friends, even we don't have chance to see much
6/16/2015 2:55 PM
47
Christian Brothers and sisters
6/16/2015 7:06 AM
48
From a specific context though, public school friends who also stand out for their faith.
6/16/2015 5:05 AM
49
and family
6/15/2015 9:21 PM
50
Family was the only thing that never changed.
6/14/2015 5:41 PM
51
I didn't have any close relationships except my husband and kids until about 5 years ago.
6/14/2015 9:12 AM
52
A mix of other MK's and non-MK's
6/14/2015 6:50 AM
53
school mates
6/14/2015 2:21 AM
54
but i do have an instant bond with mks
6/13/2015 7:01 AM
55
That's hard though because I feel really close to both some MK's and non-MK's alike and family.
6/12/2015 5:18 PM
56
None of the above. My closest relationships have been in my local church
6/12/2015 1:59 PM
57
Now that I'm married my wife is my closest relationship. But if I meet with another mk there is an immediate
understanding of each other.
6/11/2015 11:32 PM
58
My immediate family is definitely the closest, but other MKs have been a very close second.
6/11/2015 10:48 AM
59
Other MK's, and with some non-MK's
6/10/2015 10:48 PM
60
My immediate family is only slightly ahead of missionaries - some of which include MKs.
6/10/2015 2:04 PM
61
and foreigners ironically
6/10/2015 11:36 AM
62
Has been different at different stages of my life-- am 73
6/10/2015 7:20 AM
63
wife and kids, not parents
6/10/2015 7:08 AM
64
I'm a missionary myself, and my closest relationships tend to be with other missionaries, because we share a lot
in common.
6/10/2015 7:07 AM
65
Friends I met on the soccer field.
6/10/2015 3:30 AM
66
I have one close relationship
6/10/2015 3:27 AM
67
I have true and close friends from every country and social circle. I will put down roots even if I'm moving next
month. You never know whT might happen
6/9/2015 10:09 PM
68
"non-MK" people generally have different neuroses than I do, so it's a better fit.
6/9/2015 9:51 PM
69
I have one very good MK friend but have lost touch with many due to distance.
6/9/2015 9:48 PM
70
And other missionaries who were like family to me.
6/9/2015 9:33 PM
71
My kids and grandkids mean everything to me now, but I also have several deep Jonathan relationships with
male friends.
6/9/2015 9:23 PM
72
One exception, the romance I"m now in, had been a friend for 6 years. A woman from another country who
travels a lot.
6/9/2015 8:42 PM
73
TCKs and military
6/9/2015 8:29 PM
74
It's really a mix for me
6/9/2015 7:40 PM
47 / 157
SurveyMonkey
75
it's actually been a mix, some other MKs, some immediate family, some other missionaries and some nonmissionaries/locals
6/9/2015 6:55 PM
76
My close relationships are in multiple categories
6/9/2015 6:26 PM
77
Some of these are MKs, themselves, but some aren't.
6/9/2015 6:14 PM
78
My immediate family, definitely. The next one would probably be other MKs.
6/9/2015 6:11 PM
79
Also some people from the land we went to minister to.
6/9/2015 5:47 PM
80
I finally made one friend, so I married her.
6/9/2015 5:32 PM
81
My husband
6/9/2015 4:40 PM
82
My friends, non MK but yes TCK
6/9/2015 4:40 PM
83
Not parents.
6/9/2015 4:38 PM
84
Other TCKs as well
6/9/2015 4:28 PM
85
My family and my boarding school roommate.
6/9/2015 4:22 PM
86
I maybe unique as I am now a missionary on home assignment, I still find it easier to relate to MKs or other
missionaries
6/9/2015 4:14 PM
87
Mks and my family
6/9/2015 4:14 PM
88
And I'm talking about my wife and kids
6/9/2015 1:53 PM
89
cant be classified into only one of these categories.
6/9/2015 1:23 PM
90
My closest relationships are my sister and also my best friend - both MKs... but I have some pretty close
relationships with non-MKs as well.
6/9/2015 1:05 PM
91
I tend to develop close relationships with international people, not MK/religious necessarily.
6/9/2015 12:27 PM
92
The two people who understand me best are people who are either TCKs or have a heightened sense of culture
and the vastness of the world (both non-MKs). I struggle relating to other MKs.
6/9/2015 12:00 PM
93
family+some MK friends+ some non MK friends is more accurate.
6/9/2015 11:57 AM
94
Both MKs and non-MKs, equally but differently
6/9/2015 12:08 AM
95
Like-minded believers.
6/8/2015 10:41 PM
96
1 then 3 then 2 in that order
6/8/2015 10:13 PM
97
Had close friends of MKs and non MKs! Needs to be multiple choice!
6/8/2015 10:03 PM
98
And immediate family
6/8/2015 9:32 PM
99
you don't have a category for married relationships which I would say is my closest, but besides my spouse, I
have struggled to have close relationships
6/8/2015 9:27 PM
100
Top 5 options? I've enjoyed many deep relationships with people in different categories in different places.
6/8/2015 8:18 PM
101
Both MKs and non-MKs, but always my peers.
6/8/2015 8:06 PM
102
My closest friends were the ones that I made in the country where my parents were missionaries.
6/8/2015 7:38 PM
103
Some of various of the above. Again, there is more to my life than being an MK.
6/8/2015 7:32 PM
104
Other TCKs
6/8/2015 7:24 PM
105
also in-laws
6/8/2015 7:12 PM
106
This has changed since I have found contentment in where I am. I now have very deep relationships with non
mms now, but that is a ver select few.
6/8/2015 7:00 PM
48 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q15 The desire to visit my foreign

countries/homes:
Answered: 709
Skipped: 34
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
Is
strong
and
constant
Is
strong
and
occasi...
Is mild
and
constant
Is mild
and
occasiona
l
Is very
rare
I dont
desire to
visit my
previo...
Answer Choices
I
currently
live in
one of...
Responses
Is strong and constant
27.50%
195
Is strong and occasional
30.47%
216
Is mild and constant
8.18%
58
Is mild and occasional
22.43%
159
Is very rare
3.67%
26
I dont desire to visit my previous countries/homes
3.39%
24
I currently live in one of my previous countries/homes
4.37%
31
Total
709
Date
. . . constrained by the reality of 4 nationalities and southern US 'old boys' custodial issues
6/26/2015 6:47 PM
It would be much stronger were it not for that country's current instability.
6/26/2015 1:58 AM
Loved growing up in the beautiful country of Chile!
6/25/2015 11:40 PM
The years pass and I do miss it, but I see life is moving on.
6/25/2015 10:54 PM
I have returned many times
6/25/2015 6:16 PM
I already live in a foriegn country
6/25/2015 12:19 PM
wss strong and constant until i went back. now only occasionally
6/25/2015 11:43 AM
so that my husband can see where i, my siblings and many of pur friends and colleagues grew up and went to
school
6/25/2015 8:56 AM
Especially some smells, like chili, eucalyptus and smoke, remind me of Ethiopia in a sweet way. The same thing
with other countries, the smells are just different ones.
6/25/2015 6:08 AM
10
I have returned twice in 35 years
6/24/2015 9:33 PM
49 / 157
SurveyMonkey
11
but know I can't because of disa
6/24/2015 4:57 PM
12
I have visited, & the changes in the country are so dramatic, it no longer draws me
6/24/2015 4:11 PM
13
...but for safety and political reasons, you couldn't pay me to unless God said to go.
6/24/2015 2:52 PM
14
It used to be more constant but you get used to it. I am, however, sad that I can't afford plane tickets, although
this is due to my own choices re: simple living.
6/23/2015 9:39 AM
15
I was able to visit with my family and now I am living my life where God has me so that is part if me but doesn't
define who I am.
6/19/2015 10:28 PM
16
Over the last 5 years of leaving I have been back for a whole summer and am visiting again now. I am always
trying to think up ways to go back.
6/19/2015 3:51 AM
17
But I have lived in my previous country for much of my adult life
6/18/2015 8:42 PM
18
strong and constant as a young adult, reversed around age 50 or 60
6/18/2015 9:02 AM
19
My desire was constant before going back
6/18/2015 1:51 AM
20
I miss my home, but I also know that I still will not be accepted as a full member of that community or society. The
desire to visit my birth home was strong and constant, until I realized that it was not my home and only a figment
of what I remembered and was told by my parents. It was their home and they refused to acclimate into the
culture we lived in, always being standoffish and distant with the people and ideas, language and culture.
6/17/2015 10:16 PM
21
For many years I was not interested in the developing world
6/15/2015 9:23 PM
22
"Mild and occasional," now, but it used to be strong/constant
6/13/2015 2:13 PM
23
in transition
6/13/2015 12:39 PM
24
It's lessened over the years, but especially after I decided to stay in one place and settle. I still long to travel.
6/13/2015 12:33 PM
25
I live far from family. Family is home to me, wherever. I miss family a lot. they are.
6/10/2015 3:59 PM
26
Returned for 16 years to the country I grew up
6/10/2015 2:05 PM
27
?? I currently live in a country which is not my passport country, have "strong and occasional" desire to visit some
of my previous countries, and no desire at all to visit others. It is very rare that I have a desire to visit my passport
country.
6/10/2015 8:21 AM
28
furlough replacement ministry so am in my "other home country" for 8 months.
6/10/2015 7:22 AM
29
If my parents didn't still live in the country I grew up in, I actually would want to avoid visiting there. My
subconscious blames the country for a lot of the loneliness I felt growing up, and I end up disliking it. Which is
something I consciously try to overcome, and I do enjoy visiting my parents -- but going back to the country
where I grew up is never something I'm terribly enthusiastic about.
6/10/2015 7:11 AM
30
Move next week
6/9/2015 8:33 PM
31
Which is the foreign country? They're all foreign! Haha
6/9/2015 7:41 PM
32
I've figured out that it is not so much the place but the time and experience that I miss.
6/9/2015 5:29 PM
33
I visited once as an adult, want to go back
6/9/2015 4:44 PM
34
I currently live in my previous continent, so many things are similar
6/9/2015 4:32 PM
35
It used to be strong and constant but has lessened over the years
6/9/2015 1:42 PM
36
I used to and did. No desire now at all.
6/9/2015 12:18 PM
37
i dont understand this question
6/9/2015 8:39 AM
38
This desire occasionally becomes very strong!
6/9/2015 3:04 AM
39
Strong desire to travel in general, not just my foreign home
6/9/2015 12:11 AM
40
For the food. And to see my family. But I don't really miss it or want to live there.
6/8/2015 10:05 PM
41
"It won't be the same."
6/8/2015 9:55 PM
50 / 157
SurveyMonkey
42
Interesting--I am missing an area I grew up during high school and early adulthood, but it's occurred to me how
God has provided the opportunity to live where I spent the better part of grade school.
6/8/2015 9:36 PM
43
The desire has decreased as the number of years increases that I have not lived there
6/8/2015 9:30 PM
44
I realize there is not much for me there anymore.
6/8/2015 8:12 PM
45
The longer I've lived in the U.S. The less I've felt pulled to travel overseas
6/8/2015 8:02 PM
46
Want to go back, but the countries banned us
6/8/2015 7:48 PM
51 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q16 The desire to move back overseas

long-term:
Answered: 709
Skipped: 34
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
Is
strong
and
constant
Is
strong
and
occasi...
Is mild
and
constant
Is mild
and
occasiona
l
Is very
rare
I dont
desire to
move
back
overseas
Answer Choices
I
currently
live in a
cultur...
Responses
Is strong and constant
18.19%
129
Is strong and occasional
15.66%
111
Is mild and constant
8.46%
60
Is mild and occasional
19.75%
140
Is very rare
9.45%
67
I dont desire to move back overseas
14.95%
106
I currently live in a culture other than my passport culture
13.54%
96
Total
709
Date
Raised in Philippines, living in Germany (my wife's country)
6/27/2015 5:36 AM
I moved back for ten years and it's fine to be in passport country now
6/26/2015 11:11 PM
I've never lived in my homeland
6/26/2015 6:47 PM
difficult when the only way I know to do that is within the context of church based activity
6/26/2015 3:50 PM
But knowing I can't because of health
6/26/2015 2:03 AM
I feel more that I am open to going back overseas than desirous of it. Also I wouldn't call it back. I don't think i
would live in the same countries I've left.
6/26/2015 1:52 AM
becoming more occasional as we are in the middle of having kids and paying school loans and I know it will likely
be a few years before getting things to a place where my husband is comfortable looking into it seriously
6/26/2015 1:26 AM
I have moved overseas! :)
6/25/2015 11:41 PM
As a flight attendant traveling overseas, my cravings are fulfilled. ??
6/25/2015 11:40 PM
10
I want to go overseas for sure! But not necessarily back to where I grew up.
6/25/2015 10:54 PM
52 / 157
SurveyMonkey
11
Weighed out with the need to settle and it roots down/ have a proper home base..and move abroad later knowing
where home is.
6/25/2015 6:36 PM
12
I just returned from 8 years overseas
6/25/2015 1:08 PM
13
It was strong when I was younger but now I have lived in the same place my entire adult life and have raised my
family here, so feel content where I am. I mostly miss the people.
6/25/2015 9:44 AM
14
The desire has diminished a lot during the last 20 years. The first 10 years after moving to Finland were definitely
more difficult and full of travelling in different countries independently.
6/25/2015 6:08 AM
15
currently a full-time missionary
6/24/2015 5:44 PM
16
It's more due, though, to guilt that I'm not "doing more for the world." This seems to be waning as parenting takes
more of my attention.
6/23/2015 9:39 AM
17
It used to be strong and constant, until my most recent trip home (11 years after leaving originally!). I don't desire
to move there anymore (mostly).
6/20/2015 11:27 PM
18
and my passport country seems more foreign than the country I'm living in now
6/20/2015 1:19 PM
19
Overseas is where I feel most at home. Even if I am out of my element in a foreign country, I feel like I know how
to navigate it better than in my passport country sometimes.
6/19/2015 3:51 AM
20
I served as a missionary for many years so did have the chance to move overseas!
6/18/2015 8:20 PM
21
It was my desire after finishing college to move back to the country I grew up in, but God led me to get married
instead, and my husband's ministry is here in the US, and I am now content to stay here working with him.
6/18/2015 11:26 AM
22
My birth home is not the USA, but I have married and settled here with my non-MK husband. The need for
stability has taken away the desire to move out of the states.
6/17/2015 10:16 PM
23
But I would not want to return to the country I grew up in.
6/17/2015 3:16 PM
24
and now in Nepal
6/15/2015 9:23 PM
25
I want to be where God puts me. I am content I have a people and a place
6/14/2015 11:05 AM
26
I just moved from the US to antoher country for a teaching job within the past year. =)
6/14/2015 6:56 AM
27
I want to move back as a missionary, but I know Hod may have other plans for me, so I am not attaching myself
to that dream too thoroughly.
6/13/2015 6:31 PM
28
The younger I was the stronger that feeling was
6/13/2015 10:24 AM
29
This is driven by a desire to help spread the gospel, not to live in a non-American context
6/12/2015 2:00 PM
30
I know that this is not the time but am open to it and check online for overseas employment opportunities two or
three times a year
6/12/2015 6:42 AM
31
As much as I miss life there greatly, what we went to do has been completed because it has been made
indigenous and in this case more prosperous. I see the States as just as big a mission filed and as a good fit for
me right now because I inderstand the culture pretty well
6/11/2015 8:26 PM
32
I'm now a missionary myself, on a different continent than the one I grew up in.
6/10/2015 7:11 AM
33
I am content to be wherever God wants me
6/10/2015 1:05 AM
34
I am an MK and a missionary with 49 years of overseas living. Might explain why I quite content to stay at home
now, though I would love short visits to see old friends and co-workers.
6/9/2015 9:37 PM
35
I lived back overseas for 2 years as an adult and only just moved back stateside.
6/9/2015 7:04 PM
36
I served as a missionary for 15 years and I'm ready to put roots down in my passport country
6/9/2015 6:00 PM
37
I want to travel overseas, but not move there
6/9/2015 5:45 PM
38
N/A - "home missions"
6/9/2015 5:34 PM
39
We would have gone, but I am allergic to malaria medicine
6/9/2015 5:14 PM
40
I want to stay where I am
6/9/2015 4:44 PM
53 / 157
SurveyMonkey
41
I am currently working overseas but if God calls me to do ministry in the States I would be okay with that too.
6/9/2015 4:34 PM
42
I want to live overseas again, but not in the country where I grew up.
6/9/2015 4:18 PM
43
It is rare now due to family issues, but we loved it while we were there.
6/9/2015 4:16 PM
44
But that is only because I know God has called me here at this time.
6/9/2015 4:01 PM
45
Used to be strong and constant. It changed when I had kids.
6/9/2015 1:42 PM
46
I am pretty happy wherever I am
6/9/2015 1:24 PM
47
I immigrated, so my new culture is now my passport culture, but wasn't originally.
6/9/2015 12:18 PM
48
I'm torn between living with my family and living overseas. Sadly, I can't have both!
6/9/2015 11:44 AM
49
I want to keep traveling
6/9/2015 10:16 AM
50
I have no desire to live in the country I grew up in, but would be happy to move to Italy if my husband would
agree.
6/8/2015 7:17 PM
54 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q17 My understanding of the broader world

(global awareness) has been most useful:
Answered: 707
Skipped: 36
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
In my career
In relating
to others
In
understanding
world events
In opening
the eyes of
others to
global...
It hasnt
really been
useful to me
Answer Choices
Responses
In my career
15.13%
107
In relating to others
44.98%
318
In understanding world events
20.51%
145
In opening the eyes of others to global realities
17.40%
123
It hasnt really been useful to me
1.98%
14
Total
707
Date
and in opening eyes
6/26/2015 10:42 PM
In understanding myself
6/26/2015 6:47 PM
1-4 above
6/26/2015 2:19 AM
the first 4
6/25/2015 11:40 PM
Meeting people from around the globe is so exciting when I can relate and understand why they do things that
way, or what they mean when they say this.
6/25/2015 10:54 PM
In all of the first 4 options
6/25/2015 6:37 PM
and in relating to others. I wanted to click two.
6/25/2015 1:58 PM
The top four
6/25/2015 2:12 AM
In my general outlook
6/25/2015 12:11 AM
10
Enhance Biblical worldview because of my global awareness
6/24/2015 11:38 PM
11
and in my career
6/24/2015 9:51 AM
12
Maybe it's just not been useful to me yet.
6/23/2015 9:18 PM
13
all of the above except the last one
6/18/2015 8:42 PM
55 / 157
SurveyMonkey
14
As well, as my future career, which will hopefully be in international relations and development.
6/17/2015 10:16 PM
15
That has been a big mistake in my life.
6/16/2015 2:56 PM
16
All areas
6/14/2015 11:05 AM
17
In realating to others, in understainf world events and how they effect those I know from all over the globe.
6/14/2015 6:56 AM
18
I'm now a missionary myself, and few things prepare one better for a missionary career than being an MK.
6/10/2015 7:11 AM
19
Almost all the above applies.
6/10/2015 6:23 AM
20
And in my career, I'm a uni professor
6/10/2015 3:31 AM
21
I have found that too many don't want to understand things outside of their own experience
6/9/2015 7:34 PM
22
It's amazing what my experiences have done for my resume and for my career goals!
6/9/2015 6:13 PM
23
I find myself utterly confused and upset by nationalism. When people talk about other countries, they're almost
always somewhat discriminatory, or put them down. To me, they're all equally beautiful, and broken, and messed
up. So nonsense about "keep Britian British", or anti-immigration rubbish is incredibly frustrating - and hard to
express why I find it so distasteful. It seems self-evident to me - as their view does to them.
6/9/2015 2:16 PM
24
Also in my career.
6/8/2015 10:00 PM
25
A little bit with my career
6/8/2015 9:36 PM
26
2 and 3
6/8/2015 7:25 PM
56 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q18 Seeing pictures of places Ive known:

Answered: 709
Skipped: 34
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
Makes me
happy
Makes me
wistful
Makes me sad
Answer Choices
Makes me
angry
Doesn't
affect me
Responses
Makes me happy
43.86%
311
Makes me wistful
49.22%
349
Makes me sad
5.50%
39
Makes me angry
0.28%
Doesn't affect me
1.13%
Total
709
Date
again, however, I can have very differnt feelings for different places...depends what happened there
6/26/2015 11:11 PM
I wish I had more mobility, but also am comfortable with the choices I've made that restrict it . . .
6/26/2015 6:47 PM
And wistful and kinda sad knowing I cannot go there currently
6/26/2015 4:49 PM
Happy to recall those places, and wanting to go back is a constant feeling.
6/25/2015 10:54 PM
makes me feel nostalgic
6/25/2015 7:08 PM
And wistful is a close second
6/23/2015 9:18 PM
And also happy, increasingly I think
6/23/2015 9:39 AM
I wish I could choose all of the above. The first emotion is usually happy. And then I get wistful, then sad, then
angry that I can't be there. It is such a domino affect.
6/19/2015 3:51 AM
all of the above
6/18/2015 8:42 PM
10
"Wistful" being a close second.
6/18/2015 11:26 AM
11
Because I can never return
6/17/2015 10:09 PM
12
And nostalgic
6/16/2015 7:07 AM
13
I really have left all that behind when I cam back to Australia.
6/16/2015 5:06 AM
14
Mixture of feelings. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
6/14/2015 5:44 PM
15
Really it's mixed emotions, hurt, anger, happy, sad.
6/14/2015 9:13 AM
57 / 157
SurveyMonkey
16
It makes me wat to tell others about all the adventure I have been on.
6/14/2015 6:56 AM
17
because I miss it.
6/12/2015 5:19 PM
18
and happy
6/12/2015 6:42 AM
19
And makes me miss them
6/11/2015 8:26 PM
20
Makes me think, "I have a better shot of that. . . ."
6/10/2015 10:46 AM
21
They are home, and I miss them
6/10/2015 10:19 AM
22
Oddly enough, though I really don't want to go visit the country I grew up in, seeing pictures from that time makes
me happy. It was (and is) a beautiful country, with gorgeous landscapes. And I had a happy family life (it was
only friends at school that were lacking), so seeing family pictures from back then is always nice.
6/10/2015 7:11 AM
23
Wistful not really the best term... I'd say I feel appreciative of the experiences
6/10/2015 4:13 AM
24
Places me on all of these, at different moments in time. I often avoid looking and dwelling at/on pictures, because
it's unpredictable.
6/9/2015 8:33 PM
25
Depends if I see war in my country I am angry. If I see good things I am happy.
6/9/2015 8:08 PM
26
wistful and happy
6/9/2015 7:45 PM
27
And happy, & incredibly sad, & longing to go back!
6/9/2015 6:15 PM
28
also sad and wistful!
6/9/2015 5:45 PM
29
sometimes i avoid looking at pictures, even for years, because I don't want the heart pain. It's sad because I miss
it, but the memories are precious, not negative. So that's why I put wistful.
6/9/2015 5:32 PM
30
Depends on the place.
6/9/2015 4:41 PM
31
Makes me feel really weird actually. Like, drawn and repulsed at the same time.
6/9/2015 9:56 AM
32
mixture of happy and sad memories
6/8/2015 9:30 PM
33
Also happy and sad
6/8/2015 7:01 PM
58 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q19 Belonging (identifying with a

community and being accepted into it):
Answered: 701
Skipped: 42
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
Is something I
long for
Is something
I've given up on
finding
Is something I
have found
Answer Choices
Is not
important to me
Responses
Is something I long for
40.80%
286
Is something I've given up on finding
15.69%
110
Is something I have found
38.09%
267
Is not important to me
5.42%
38
Total
701
Date
I think others would say I do belong to communities
6/26/2015 11:25 PM
I rather decide to make my own community
6/26/2015 10:45 PM
not ever been an issue
6/26/2015 6:49 PM
My looks show I'm not Japanese, but that's fine with me.
6/26/2015 6:42 AM
but I'm not satisfied with the communities available. i create my own. i group up all the outcasts.
6/26/2015 3:55 AM
having difficulty finding;
6/26/2015 2:09 AM
I've found it for the most part. I have enough of a balance of MK friends and US friends that they all accept me.
Plus, we all share our faith.
6/25/2015 11:01 PM
But still struggling with.
6/25/2015 8:07 PM
I have chosent to enjoy limited belonging in multiple groups. Belonging on my terms, as it were.
6/25/2015 7:11 PM
10
only found after many, many years of searching
6/25/2015 6:53 PM
11
In process of finding, grateful for a welcoming community.
6/25/2015 6:40 PM
12
Its something you can find no matter where you live if you truly want it. I have lived in seven different places as
an adult and have always found belonging in each place.
6/25/2015 2:03 PM
13
For me finding a christian community has been like coming home in many countries, as well in Africa as in
Europe.
6/25/2015 6:11 AM
59 / 157
SurveyMonkey
14
Found it in part - but also don't expect much
6/25/2015 12:15 AM
15
Military
6/24/2015 7:46 PM
16
only through my recent marriage to another MK and being adopted by her large multi cultural extended family
6/24/2015 5:11 PM
17
I rarely feel I really belong, but it happens with creative people who love what I love.
6/23/2015 11:12 PM
18
Yes & no. I think I have found it in intimate relationship & my new family. But I am also leery of the "sense of
belonging" to a larger group b/c I feel like I've seen people be untrue to themselves to keep it.
6/23/2015 10:03 AM
19
I am learning to ground myself in myself where I can be at home in my own soul, body and mind. It's really the
only place I will probably find belonging and steadfastness in God.
6/22/2015 9:49 AM
20
but my main identity is in Christ and his children.
6/20/2015 1:21 PM
21
My church family is my community and I know I can always find one no matter where I live.
6/19/2015 10:30 PM
22
My experiences are not as impossible to relate to as I'd once thought
6/19/2015 8:23 AM
23
I think the only place I can belong would be in America, but I don't belong there. I never will, partially because I
don't WANT to belong there. I would rather live somewhere I love in a community I identify with even and not be
(wholly) accepted, than try to fit into the mold of where I can belong.
6/19/2015 4:03 AM
24
The first three options are all true for me
6/18/2015 8:44 PM
25
I found the definition Third Culture Kid. I know who I am
6/18/2015 5:05 PM
26
This has been SO hard since moving back to the country of my ethnicity.
6/17/2015 10:38 PM
27
I have found it in a few circles, but not neccessarily in the community that I live in or the church that I attend. It
never happened in the country I lived in and I might be believing a lie that I will never belong, but should really try
to get past that and try and find acceptance in small areas of the larger community.
6/17/2015 10:28 PM
28
I'm just content in knowing that I may never truly 'fit' in.
6/17/2015 8:59 PM
29
I have been able to find a community before in the US, but am currently developing it in the state I live in now.
6/17/2015 3:22 PM
30
All of them at once! I'm confused about belonging I guess. In heaven I belong, but I wish on earth I could
contribute to a community too.
6/16/2015 5:07 AM
31
am finding
6/15/2015 3:31 PM
32
Only after EMDR and counseling. EMDR changed my life!
6/14/2015 5:47 PM
33
My identiy stems from who I am in Christ, i live as family, as a missionary and as a servant in the context God
has me
6/14/2015 11:06 AM
34
I have given up on finding an earthly lace I belong. I know the only place I really belong is in heaven with Jesus.
6/14/2015 7:01 AM
35
Now that I'm married the belonging has been found but I still look for a community
6/11/2015 11:34 PM
36
I've found it multiple times in different communities, but never FULLY belonging.
6/11/2015 7:48 PM
37
However, at the same time, it's something I've recognized I will never have perfectly on this earth.
6/11/2015 10:53 AM
38
I belong and am accepted but I know I am so different.
6/11/2015 9:04 AM
39
To be honest, this answer is the ideal but I seem to be slowly drifting towards #2
6/11/2015 6:40 AM
40
I have found it in a group of other MKs
6/10/2015 4:03 PM
41
I feel a bit sad that I have not been too successful in finding this in church, but rather in our mission (homebase
now) context. I don't fault the church as much as it puzzles me that even with involvement I seem not to be well
connected or comfortable there even though I believe strongly in the church.
6/10/2015 2:07 PM
42
I kind of have it, but not to the depth that I wish for
6/10/2015 12:44 PM
43
I find that my own family now (husband and kids) satisfies this desire in an acceptable way
6/10/2015 12:23 PM
44
This is where my faith helps me. As Phil. 3:20 says, I'm a citizen of heave, so I've kinda given up on being a
citizen of earth
6/10/2015 10:20 AM
60 / 157
SurveyMonkey
45
I've found it in my career as a special education teacher, and I've found it in motherhood
6/10/2015 9:54 AM
46
When I attended a Christian college in the US, I found a group of friends that truly shared all my values, including
my love for God. That's when, for the first time in my life, I felt a sense of belonging.
6/10/2015 7:16 AM
47
I have kind of found
6/10/2015 3:35 AM
48
This is a deep yearning for me. Part of this may stem more from being a pastor's wife than an MK.
6/10/2015 2:21 AM
49
I'm okay with the level of belonging I can find in my current community while also recognizing and accepting that I
will only feel truly at home once I'm in Heaven.
6/10/2015 12:04 AM
50
Two answers. Given up looking from one place but found in Christian community wherever I move.
6/9/2015 9:51 PM
51
Maybe
6/9/2015 9:24 PM
52
My current employer stood by me when my wife died of cancer...so did 300 of my work mates. That's a family
6/9/2015 8:45 PM
53
Getting there, not totally found.
6/9/2015 8:20 PM
54
I have found it at college but I'm about to graduate so...I long to keep it or find it again
6/9/2015 7:48 PM
55
Is something I've ALMOST given up on.
6/9/2015 7:28 PM
56
Seems like most Americans are not very deep or open to peoplethat didn't grow up in their state
6/9/2015 6:45 PM
57
I found it before going to the mission field but being gone 15 years and just returning, I look forward to making our
family belong again
6/9/2015 6:13 PM
58
Not always but most of the time
6/9/2015 5:30 PM
59
No question on how I answered this one!!!
6/9/2015 4:52 PM
60
my community I've finally connected with is a community of artists, though, who all feel like misfits and
outsiders... and I only just in the past 2 years found them (I'm 41)
6/9/2015 12:01 PM
61
my family (my own and my parents/siblings) provide this for me
6/9/2015 9:13 AM
62
I belong in my work community, but not a social, church, or community community.
6/8/2015 9:58 PM
63
But I can see that I hesitate and struggle to make this happen
6/8/2015 9:43 PM
64
I've found it in both my various church communities as well as the AF community
6/8/2015 8:05 PM
61 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q20 I think the main reason many MKs

struggle with belonging is:
Answered: 686
Skipped: 57
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
A
resistance
to
identify...
Cultural
differences
Relational
differences
Different
maturity
level than
peers
Different
interests
than
mono-cul...
Answer Choices
Living in
places for
relatively
short...
Responses
A resistance to identifying with a specific group
21.14%
145
Cultural differences
13.85%
95
Relational differences
12.97%
89
Different maturity level than peers
11.81%
81
Different interests than mono-cultural peers
22.74%
156
Living in places for relatively short lengths of time
17.49%
120
Total
686
Date
which one is "home?"
6/27/2015 5:36 AM
who knows? I really haven't struggled with this...I have found a way to feel as if I belong most places I have lived
6/26/2015 11:14 PM
That and a sense of impermanence
6/26/2015 10:45 PM
Seeing everything from a perspective that others do not.
6/26/2015 10:06 PM
I don't . . . my issue has been political . . . lines on maps . .
6/26/2015 6:49 PM
Sometimes MKs never learn to assimilate to the culture their parents serve in, and because of that they never
learn how to assimilate into American culture either. It's the same skills set, really.
6/26/2015 6:01 PM
Do many MKs struggle with belonging?
6/26/2015 9:29 AM
I think all of these are issues.
6/26/2015 1:54 AM
All of the above can be true.
6/25/2015 11:59 PM
10
MKs usually see more of the world, broaden their worldview and gain insight faster. Because of that they care
more for people and for doing good.
6/25/2015 11:01 PM
11
We taught from an early age that roots are fleeting and nothing is permanent
6/25/2015 9:13 PM
62 / 157
SurveyMonkey
12
If I could, I would also check "different interests." Growing up, we had to find things to entertain ourselves. We
had "better" things to do than keep up with the Kardashians. And now we have no one else who shares those
interests.
6/25/2015 7:18 PM
13
This is one question where I needed a all of the above tab
6/25/2015 6:40 PM
14
Home schooling and living in a bubble
6/25/2015 5:20 PM
15
I mean this depends on the MK. If they have stayed in one place for a long time then they will not find it hard to
belong. if they are in several different places then I can understand how it would be hard.
6/25/2015 2:03 PM
16
We are mentally wired for a uniquely blended culture that no longer exists aside from those who experienced it
with us.
6/25/2015 7:15 AM
17
I think parental & family relationships contribute more to belonging than where one grows up or culture one lives
in
6/24/2015 4:17 PM
18
all of these equally
6/24/2015 1:02 PM
19
Not sure
6/24/2015 7:51 AM
20
Usually complex combination of the above.
6/23/2015 11:12 PM
21
Living such a different life story than everyone else.
6/23/2015 10:20 PM
22
The main reason is misunderstanding who they are in light of God's Word.
6/23/2015 3:49 PM
23
Yea to all the above!
6/19/2015 9:31 AM
24
I'm afraid our TCK subculture may fetishize "the unique"
6/19/2015 8:23 AM
25
We create another culture for ourselves that we can survive and thrive in. We are almost forced into it, without
our creating a culture we wouldn't be able to cope. But then we have a difficult time coping because we know our
culture never allows us to belong in any culture. If we try to adopt the culture we live in we will never fully belong
because we aren't one of them. But we never fully belong at home because we are more mature than our peers.
6/19/2015 4:03 AM
26
all of the above
6/18/2015 8:44 PM
27
Also, non-Mks show interest in our lives, but in the end they voice jealousy in where we lived and what traveling
experiences we have had. That is what I have experienced so far.
6/17/2015 10:28 PM
28
I think it's a bit of everything.
6/17/2015 8:59 PM
29
unsure
6/17/2015 3:58 PM
30
Such a wide variety and diversity hard to find "one place / people" that simultaneously 'fits' all those differing
pieces of self.
6/17/2015 3:16 PM
31
also different interests. same interests make it easier to bond.
6/16/2015 2:59 PM
32
I want to be unique.
6/16/2015 5:07 AM
33
I believe there is a MK culture. Though TCK's have their own set of problems, but are still not the same since the
spiritual/ faith aspect is missing. It is VERY MUCH so a part of the everyday lives of MK's
6/14/2015 9:46 PM
34
None
6/14/2015 8:32 AM
35
A mix of realational differences and cultural differences.
6/14/2015 7:01 AM
36
They live in an idealized world (mentally) that does not exist in reality. When on the mission field, we always
thought that North America was "so much better", but then when we got here, and realized that it had it's fair
share of issues, we idealized where we had come from (things were better back over seas). Those who have
been able to recognize that people are people the world over, and every place has it's ups/downs have adpated
just fine, just like we always do :)
6/13/2015 10:26 PM
37
again could have chosen almost all of the options, as in some way,big Or small,they each contributed to the
struggle.
6/13/2015 3:56 PM
38
I think this one can differ dramatically depending on the MK's personality.
6/12/2015 5:40 PM
39
Culture affects our relationships, interests, and even maturity.
6/12/2015 6:45 AM
40
I would honestly say it is more a mixture of each response.
6/11/2015 9:19 PM
63 / 157
SurveyMonkey
41
Not being with all those they love and having to constantly re-make friends. This is also a good thing. Self pity is
an enemy for mks though as they adjust. It's easy to make ourselves the victim instead of seeking God and
keeping giving our best efforts in relationships. Don't stereotype; just love like CHRIST. It helps me to live like
each day is my last: then I would be fully invested! It mainly helpss to remember that CHRIST is my constant!
And He is good and a help and knows and will provide my need for new friends wherever I go. He does His part; I
must do mine too though.
6/11/2015 8:31 PM
42
Not sure how to answer, I don't think I struggled with it.
6/10/2015 11:10 PM
43
All the above :) Cultural, relational, maturity, interests... relationships are hard.
6/10/2015 4:03 PM
44
Maturity can be more or less though.
6/10/2015 12:54 PM
45
And different interests, and resistance to identifying to a group
6/10/2015 12:44 PM
46
This is my experience
6/10/2015 12:23 PM
47
I wish there was an "all of the above" option here!
6/10/2015 9:54 AM
48
I found that having different interests that mono-cultural people has been my greatest problem. For example, I
struggle to talk about American sports, because they mostly don't interest me at all. But talking about sports
together is one of the main ways that many American men bond to each other and develop closer friendships.
This has meant that I often struggle to develop friendships with other men when I'm in America. However, multicultural people (whether MKs or TCKs) I have a much easier time bonding with.
6/10/2015 7:16 AM
49
Too many folks cast themselves as either victims or being different. The simple reality is that the Third culture kid
lifestyle is increasingly normal. We struggle in that we are no longer as unique or special as we thought we were
when growing up.
6/10/2015 6:26 AM
50
I think all of these combined
6/10/2015 3:35 AM
51
We lived in a bubble (mission field) for so long, it is all we know.
6/9/2015 10:25 PM
52
Being so focused on being an MK. Everyone has a story.
6/9/2015 10:13 PM
53
All of the above
6/9/2015 9:24 PM
54
And relational reasons
6/9/2015 8:36 PM
55
This is less of an issue if you live in a city where there is naturally more change.
6/9/2015 8:20 PM
56
all of the following resonated with me: identifying with a specific group, different maturity levels than peers,
different interests than mono-cultural, living in places for relatively short lengths
6/9/2015 7:49 PM
57
Wanting it all: former with current life
6/9/2015 7:28 PM
58
I really want a constant place of belonging, but whenever I get close, I think I tend to draw away because I realize
what that group lacks and I identify another group that contains those lacking characteristics. I don't think I'll ever
be comfortable in a single specific group.
6/9/2015 6:14 PM
59
Not being willing to find ways to identify with the passport country like they did with the country they grew up in.
Both countries need our understanding and not to "serve" the MK
6/9/2015 6:13 PM
60
difficulty relating on too many levels
6/9/2015 5:41 PM
61
All of the above
6/9/2015 5:35 PM
62
I also find that most people have main interests different than mine
6/9/2015 4:17 PM
63
And different interests
6/9/2015 3:07 PM
64
Hidden immigrant
6/9/2015 2:27 PM
65
Also, they think other people are more balanced and happy than they may actually be.
6/9/2015 1:55 PM
66
missing social queues
6/9/2015 10:18 AM
67
Being a TCK is different than most mono-cultural people, but we're adaptable
6/9/2015 12:18 AM
68
For me the struggle was finding like-minded people.
6/8/2015 10:44 PM
64 / 157
SurveyMonkey
69
Their own victim complex
6/8/2015 10:37 PM
70
More different mindset and way of looking at things
6/8/2015 9:49 PM
71
the demands to fit into more than one culture is overwhelming and we were not prepared for it.
6/8/2015 9:43 PM
72
I believe I can be hard on my fellow mks but I believe we are responsible for how we respond to our environment.
6/8/2015 8:05 PM
73
Not realizing that there is more to life than just being an MK. As you live longer, you gain more perspective,
especially if you do not hang on to bitterness about the past.
6/8/2015 7:35 PM
74
All of the above.
6/8/2015 7:27 PM
75
I love our small group; everyone else is ten-thirty years older than both me and my husband
6/8/2015 7:17 PM
65 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q21 The chapter of my life when I have

most strongly felt belonging is:
Answered: 694
Skipped: 49
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
Among
the
locals
in my...
With
my
parents/
siblings
Among
other
MKs
In
college
in my
passp...
As a
postcol
lege
adult...
With
my
own
spouse/c
hildren
In my
current
church
setting
Answer Choices
I never
have
felt a
sense...
Responses
Among the locals in my foreign country(ies)
5.04%
35
With my parents/siblings
14.70%
102
Among other MKs
29.25%
203
In college in my passport country
5.33%
37
As a post-college adult with my passport-country friends
5.48%
38
With my own spouse/children
28.39%
197
In my current church setting
5.48%
38
I never have felt a sense of belonging
6.34%
44
Total
694
Date
just my spouse. my children have no clue.
6/27/2015 5:36 AM
I am not sure.
6/27/2015 3:00 AM
At least, with other mks who have fallen out of the flock.
6/27/2015 1:18 AM
honestly, i have felt belonging in almost all of these places...there are different types of belonging and all are
good
6/26/2015 11:14 PM
Also, one of my college roommates as well as my future spouse
6/26/2015 10:45 PM
But also among the missionaries and mk's growing up
6/26/2015 10:15 PM
. . , we make our own choices . . . eventually the right ones
6/26/2015 6:49 PM
Never had a sense of not belonging
6/26/2015 9:29 AM
Tho I also felt I belonged with friends in college and with my parents and siblings.
6/26/2015 6:42 AM
66 / 157
SurveyMonkey
10
but also during my college years
6/26/2015 1:38 AM
11
and in college. But I think I have to choose family first
6/26/2015 1:28 AM
12
I could only fill in one ... but my missionary family, my family of origin and my nuclear family all make me feel like
I belong
6/26/2015 1:14 AM
13
And among other MK's
6/25/2015 11:54 PM
14
At boarding school in the Philippines.
6/25/2015 11:49 PM
15
and my family - parents, siblings and spouse
6/25/2015 11:48 PM
16
Among other MKs in college
6/25/2015 11:42 PM
17
I selected this one because that's where I am, and I see I've come a long ways since high school, but I still feel
the need to go back overseas.
6/25/2015 11:01 PM
18
Consider the truism: "A rolling stone gathers no moss". Moss is gathered by a cessation of movement; I have
moved so many times, I know of no other way...
6/25/2015 9:13 PM
19
What about with non-MKs? I never felt belonging with MKs actually. Non-MKs not so much either but there was
less expectation that I would, which helped.
6/25/2015 7:11 PM
20
Or at least identifying one with the other...otherwise would say never felt sense of belonging
6/25/2015 6:40 PM
21
and of course with my family and my spouse.
6/25/2015 2:03 PM
22
With a close second being my spouse/children.
6/25/2015 9:46 AM
23
Haven't struggled with belonging
6/24/2015 11:39 PM
24
among other MK'S is a close second.
6/24/2015 5:11 PM
25
Extended family, other MKs, & church really define most completely sense of belonging.
6/24/2015 4:17 PM
26
and college in my passport country (for me, the US)
6/24/2015 9:53 AM
27
And church
6/24/2015 7:51 AM
28
Rarely feel belonging but with MKs or the rare creative, broadly interested kindred spirit.
6/23/2015 11:12 PM
29
Throughout my life I have always had a strong sense of belonging, not necessarily in every setting.
6/23/2015 3:49 PM
30
this one's hard, because I 'belonged' with parents/sibblings
6/23/2015 12:04 PM
31
from 0-4, I belonged as an African girl in the village. After 5 when we went on furlough, my world was ripped
away from me and I never really recovered any sense of belonging.
6/22/2015 9:49 AM
32
I have also found a strong sense of belonging by becoming an active member of a church in the U.S. that serve
members of the country I grew up in. They also so kindly excepted me as one of their community with no
questions or second thoughts. I had to leave the city that church was in and have not found a church community I
feel like I belong in since.
6/20/2015 12:33 PM
33
I am starting to feel a stronger sense of belonging in my church setting. But it has yet to trump my feeling of
belonging when I am around other MKs. There is just something about the way we 'get' each other. Even if we
grew up on different continents it doesn't matter. There are certain things that you can just feel comforted by the
fact that they know, they know something no one else will ever know about you and your situation.
6/19/2015 4:03 AM
34
among other internationally minded TCKs not only MKs
6/18/2015 8:44 PM
35
I have great parents and siblings too
6/18/2015 5:05 PM
36
I can't really say that I've felt that I've really belonged anywhere. I feel too far away from it all.
6/18/2015 3:50 PM
37
I wish I could also select "With my parents/siblings," because that is also true.
6/18/2015 11:28 AM
38
except for a few years in a former church setting
6/18/2015 9:51 AM
39
But only with specific friends who it took me a while to find, I don't feel like I fit it well with the majority of the
people at my very white, Christian college
6/18/2015 8:43 AM
40
and some other non-Mk relationships who have stuck with me even after the celebrity status wore off.
6/17/2015 10:28 PM
67 / 157
SurveyMonkey
41
On the first day of married life had a strange sense of marriage bein the my first relationship I which not to expect
separation
6/17/2015 7:04 PM
42
And church
6/17/2015 4:36 PM
43
Actually in Bible School in my host country
6/17/2015 4:09 PM
44
I feel belonging with my souse, but in a different way than with MKs. . .like he can fully understand me now, but
not necessarily the me of the past.
6/17/2015 3:54 PM
45
I never though I could have such close friendships with mono-culturals, but God has blown me away!
6/17/2015 3:22 PM
46
i took a gap year and spent a year in not my passport country with 27 other youth living and working together, that
was a true sense of belonging
6/17/2015 3:18 PM
47
Faith is also good way to feel belonging to something.
6/16/2015 2:59 PM
48
Definitely NOT in Japan! I could never have belonged there.
6/16/2015 5:07 AM
49
and with my wife, and church setting
6/15/2015 9:26 PM
50
tie with spouse
6/15/2015 3:31 PM
51
In college in my passport country, but the college i went to had MANY MK's, which I automatically loved and was
drawn to!
6/14/2015 9:46 PM
52
I belong everywhere and nowhere
6/14/2015 5:47 PM
53
Where ever I am I can fit in and adapt
6/14/2015 11:06 AM
54
I belong wherever I am.
6/14/2015 2:24 AM
55
Also in my current life with passport country friends.
6/13/2015 12:34 PM
56
None of the above. Maybe in work/professional setting
6/13/2015 10:26 AM
57
+ among other MK's and In college in my passport country. I almost see the three as equal in quality of depth.
6/12/2015 5:40 PM
58
In the Marine Corps. There was a camaraderie like one I had never really experienced before.
6/11/2015 11:34 PM
59
prior to moving overseas...age 6-12
6/11/2015 9:19 PM
60
And in the Stares when I lived there before becoming an mk and in my host country
6/11/2015 8:31 PM
61
Also within the missionary community as an adult missionary myself
6/11/2015 7:48 PM
62
And with other MK's, and in college in my passport country
6/10/2015 10:51 PM
63
As a post-overseas missionary with my co-missionaries.
6/10/2015 2:07 PM
64
And with parents/siblings
6/10/2015 12:44 PM
65
Also, with my parents/siblings and in my church setting
6/10/2015 12:23 PM
66
My whole life it has been with my immediate family. I now add my husband to that group. He's my home.
6/10/2015 11:20 AM
67
My freshman year of high school, immediately before returning to the mission field.
6/10/2015 10:49 AM
68
parents/siblings is second place, church is third.
6/10/2015 12:04 AM
69
Other TCKs mainly
6/9/2015 9:24 PM
70
At boarding school in high school
6/9/2015 8:53 PM
71
Locals, and MKs
6/9/2015 8:36 PM
72
High school at MK school close second
6/9/2015 8:31 PM
73
Sibling
6/9/2015 8:20 PM
74
I would say it's tie between other MKs and spouse.
6/9/2015 8:10 PM
75
It was a church setting, but not my current church setting.
6/9/2015 8:06 PM
76
I dont know. Belonging was never an issue. Im comfortable anywhere
6/9/2015 7:49 PM
68 / 157
SurveyMonkey
77
2, 3 and 4
6/9/2015 7:48 PM
78
Among other MKs or well traveled friends.
6/9/2015 7:44 PM
79
Boarding school with other TCKs, not just MKs
6/9/2015 7:28 PM
80
Close tie with the church I was a part of in Tx, and the church I am currently a part of in Ut.
6/9/2015 7:27 PM
81
At boarding school at Faith Academy, however, I have had some great time of belonging once I married my MK
husband and we got involved with our church and community. We had to reach out and not wait to be brought in.
Everyone is busy doing life, I had to make myself be someone people wanted around.
6/9/2015 6:13 PM
82
in a new country that we were missionaries in for 22 years
6/9/2015 5:49 PM
83
BFA
6/9/2015 5:43 PM
84
my teen years living in the tribe with my parent is where I put down emotional roots, but that wasn't a choice
option here. And since by far the longest chapter of my life of "belonging" has been with my husband and kids.
6/9/2015 5:41 PM
85
Boarding school became 'home' in just one year, though I'd lived with my family in one town for the previous 14
years.
6/9/2015 4:52 PM
86
with other expats, no matter which country, but more so in my 'foreign' country
6/9/2015 4:29 PM
87
Also with MKs and thankfully my spouse and child
6/9/2015 4:17 PM
88
A very close second would be "with other MKs"
6/9/2015 4:08 PM
89
Hard to decide between parents and college
6/9/2015 4:01 PM
90
When I was attending Faith Academy and had a solid group of MK friends.
6/9/2015 1:08 PM
91
New passport country, not original.
6/9/2015 12:19 PM
92
My answer would be equally between my parents/siblings/spouce
6/9/2015 12:02 PM
93
Also in the mission community that I currently live in
6/9/2015 10:28 AM
94
Also among other MKs
6/9/2015 9:31 AM
95
We have learned to put down roots as soon as we move even if we only stay one year. It has really helped.
6/9/2015 1:48 AM
96
At BFA, of course :) But have felt belonging enough most of my life
6/9/2015 12:18 AM
97
Either in boarding school at BFA or with my current crazy God-seeking friends.
6/8/2015 10:44 PM
98
Also as an adult with passport-country friends, with my spouse and in my church!
6/8/2015 10:08 PM
99
Spouse/children a close second. Immediate family third.
6/8/2015 9:58 PM
100
Wow... Just realized this
6/8/2015 9:43 PM
101
In my current life setting
6/8/2015 8:48 PM
102
As I walk with God, home is where I am. With Him, I "belong."
6/8/2015 7:35 PM
103
And with my spouse
6/8/2015 7:04 PM
69 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q22 Lack of belonging:

Answered: 703
Skipped: 40
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
Is okay,
because Ive
gained more
than Ive...
Is
detrimental
to my
self-esteem
Is
detrimental
to my
relationships
Doesnt
really affect
me
Answer Choices
I dont feel
a lack of
belonging
Responses
Is okay, because Ive gained more than Ive lost by growing up as an MK
51.49%
362
Is detrimental to my self-esteem
13.66%
96
Is detrimental to my relationships
16.50%
116
Doesnt really affect me
4.55%
32
I dont feel a lack of belonging
13.80%
97
Total
703
Us this space for any comments
Date
yet I have gained more than I've lost
6/27/2015 5:36 AM
. . . geopolitical lines on maps . . . I can fit in anywhere . . .
6/26/2015 6:49 PM
detrimental to my finding a place in society
6/26/2015 3:51 PM
anymore. it took 10 years to get to this point
6/26/2015 3:55 AM
It is tough, especially with my epilepsy;the doctors have nothing left for me!Sometimes wonder if moving back
abroad would help my health!
6/26/2015 2:09 AM
I always belonged with my family, so even if I lacked it in the outside world, at home was safe and secure.
6/26/2015 1:28 AM
It is ok, but I have to work at my self-esteem and relationships. It's not an excuse to allow it to be detrimental.
6/25/2015 11:01 PM
I think belonging can be learnt and constructed, consciously.
6/25/2015 7:11 PM
loneliness sometimes sucks
6/25/2015 12:15 AM
10
I feel more that I belong everywhere, rather than that I belong nowhere
6/24/2015 5:45 PM
11
I miss home, love life here, but can't wait for heaven because it's the only place I will EVER really belong.
6/24/2015 2:55 PM
12
need to belong to a group long-term is secondary to need for deep relationships
6/24/2015 9:53 AM
13
Hurts me daily in varying degrees in the form of feeling desolate.
6/23/2015 11:12 PM
70 / 157
SurveyMonkey
14
I do belong to a group that does/doesn't have similar experiences
6/19/2015 8:23 AM
15
I would never change my overseas experience for the world. Yes, it is detrimental to my self-esteem and my
relationships and it is difficult to belong. But it made me who I am, I wouldn't want to be a mono-culture...
6/19/2015 4:03 AM
16
but not really. Buts it is also not detrimental
6/18/2015 8:44 PM
17
It's sad to feel that I don't belong, but I wouldn't change my experiences for anything.
6/17/2015 10:38 PM
18
My lack of belonging seeps into my own family and the new family I gained through my marriage. In my attempt
to remedy this, I create "families" with the people I meet, becoming their "sister or aunt, or college mom".
6/17/2015 10:28 PM
19
As an adult I realize that every move or new chapter has its positives and its negatives. None are completely
good or bad. I have also grown in my understanding that my true source of belonging is found in my identity as a
daughter of God which remains constant regardless of my physical/geographical circumstances & locations.
6/17/2015 3:58 PM
20
I also think it has served me in having a more heaven-focused view of life
6/12/2015 2:01 PM
21
I'm learning how to let the blessings outshine the negatives. It's a hard and long process, but the truth is it is a
blessing Andi have gained so much!!!! God will see me through any waiting period or discontent or hardship.
6/11/2015 8:31 PM
22
It can be detrimental, depending on my outlook.
6/10/2015 10:51 PM
23
And is detrimental to self-esteem. It's hard to pick just one
6/10/2015 12:44 PM
24
heaven is truly home for believers.
6/10/2015 11:39 AM
25
Citizenship of heaven was the first spiritual truth that really became real to me as a child. It was one I held on to
and it drew me to Christ.
6/10/2015 8:53 AM
26
I had a lack of belonging before I became an MK. Therefore, I was not surprised to experience it while on the field
and then when I returned home. Currently, I feel belonging at home and have resigned to it in other areas of my
life.
6/10/2015 12:56 AM
27
learning to deal with no fit
6/10/2015 12:07 AM
28
, but it is detrimental to my relationship-building patterns
6/9/2015 11:30 PM
29
Is just frustrating. But you can always find common ground.
6/9/2015 10:13 PM
30
Answered this for college period where I felt lack but was okay with it.
6/9/2015 9:51 PM
31
Detrimental, but not crippling or defining.
6/9/2015 9:46 PM
32
Once I realized it was ok to feel this way.
6/9/2015 7:36 PM
33
It is painful though.
6/9/2015 5:43 PM
34
But I do recognize that I've gained more than I've lost
6/9/2015 4:52 PM
35
I am comfortable in my community. Not too many ties but a few good friends
6/9/2015 4:49 PM
36
No, it's okay because I have dealt with it and moved on. I do not think I have gained more than I lost from being
an MK.
6/9/2015 4:42 PM
37
It is a toss up between 1 & 2. When I was a teenager it was 2, after counseling as an adult I would say more #1.
6/9/2015 4:19 PM
38
Especially about this not being our home
6/9/2015 4:01 PM
39
self-esteem and relationships... it's detrimental to relationships, and that effects self-esteem.
6/9/2015 1:08 PM
40
but this has to do with my own sense of identity and transience... and is changing as I accept myself
6/9/2015 12:01 PM
41
i dont understand this question.
6/9/2015 8:42 AM
42
It's ok because I realize what I gained, but it's still hard and a little sad.
6/8/2015 10:08 PM
43
This being "okay" has come with age. It may be okay, but it is painful.
6/8/2015 10:03 PM
44
I've gained much, but wish I had friends like "normal" people do.
6/8/2015 9:58 PM
45
Overall, I thought I felt a sense of belonging, but I can see how that took some blows and that I'm not entirely
feeling that now.
6/8/2015 9:43 PM
71 / 157
SurveyMonkey
46
it has affected my self-esteem, but I've come to accept it more as something that is part of who I am
6/8/2015 9:32 PM
47
I associate self-worth with belonging.
6/8/2015 8:13 PM
48
Used to affect me a great deal in teens and early twenties
6/8/2015 7:17 PM
49
This has changed some as my relationship tonChrist has deepened but I still see and experience this
consistently
6/8/2015 7:04 PM
72 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q23 I went to boarding school because:

Answered: 694
Skipped: 49
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
I wanted to go
My parents
wanted me to go
My mission said
I had to go
Not applicable
I didnt
attend boarding
school
Answer Choices
Responses
I wanted to go
23.34%
162
My parents wanted me to go
20.17%
140
My mission said I had to go
12.39%
86
Not applicable I didnt attend boarding school
44.09%
306
Total
694
Other (please specify)
Date
I was 6.
6/27/2015 5:40 AM
My parents were dorm parents at the Mk schools
6/27/2015 1:12 AM
there was no good school in the country where my parents worked
6/27/2015 12:39 AM
no choice, really
6/26/2015 11:26 PM
That was the only way to get schooling
6/26/2015 11:26 PM
it was simply what was expected...we assumed that was it but later i was home schooled..
6/26/2015 11:17 PM
Homeschooled
6/26/2015 10:48 PM
I was a day boy at a local boarding school
6/26/2015 10:47 PM
I attended boarding school but lived at home because my parents were teachers
6/26/2015 10:28 PM
10
Home student
6/26/2015 4:34 PM
11
I had a choice, and chose for what I felt my parents needed to do. They were very considerate of my choice
6/26/2015 3:54 PM
12
I attended a boarding school as a day schooler.
6/26/2015 10:16 AM
13
Went to BFA, but was a home student
6/26/2015 8:28 AM
14
But after that, I wanted to keep going to boarding school. It was one of the best experiences in my life.
6/26/2015 6:44 AM
15
I went to local schools
6/26/2015 2:22 AM
16
Attended as a "home student"
6/26/2015 1:56 AM
73 / 157
SurveyMonkey
17
It was that or forsake my education
6/25/2015 9:22 PM
18
Both 1 & 2 - they are not mutually exclusive. :)
6/25/2015 8:02 PM
19
They wanted me to go because they had no choice. I'm sure they would have preferred day school but that was
not an option where we lived..
6/25/2015 6:41 PM
20
I attended hostels short periods of time
6/25/2015 4:04 PM
21
i believe this is too vague. I do not agree wth many that our parents orr mission made us and thats why many still
struggle emotionally from being away from home. At my time and where we lived, that was the Only way to get
an education! What else were our parents supposed to do?
6/25/2015 11:58 AM
22
my parents were on staff at boarding school
6/25/2015 11:57 AM
23
It was never really seen as an option in my mind - it was just what we all did.
6/25/2015 9:48 AM
24
my parents worked ay the boarding school
6/25/2015 9:02 AM
25
My parents worked at a boarding school and I attended
6/25/2015 7:08 AM
26
My mother taught me at home for the first year, but I found it boring. I wanted to go to a boarding school
allthough I knew I would miss my parents. We were three sisters and I was the middle and lucky one: I always
had my elder sister waiting for me in the new school or even country, or I had my little sister staying as my
company in the previous setting.
6/25/2015 6:18 AM
27
Because it was the best option
6/24/2015 7:52 PM
28
My parents worked at the boarding school
6/24/2015 3:23 PM
29
Only for 6 months in grade 3
6/24/2015 11:19 AM
30
Because it was the best option at the time. Was there 3 years... The first year we lived an hour away...so my
parents or an other missionary parent came and got us kids for the weekends. The second year my parents
moved to the town where the school was so we could live at home and my Mom could help teach some courses
and piano lessons at the school. My Dad traveled that year 2 hours a day so he could do his work as director of a
bible institute and as a teacher as well. The third year my Dad was asked to move more than 5 hours by bus to
be the Rector of the Seminary. That year we went home for a week at a time on school breaks.
6/24/2015 8:10 AM
31
My parents were dorm parents
6/23/2015 11:49 PM
32
Attended as day student, as per my parents.
6/23/2015 11:14 PM
33
I wanted to go to boarding school so I'd be with mks who would understand me but wasn't allowed to.
6/23/2015 10:21 PM
34
I was homeschooled by my parents on the field
6/23/2015 9:20 PM
35
only for highschool
6/23/2015 8:38 PM
36
Homechooled through 8th. But I wanted to for HS
6/23/2015 12:16 PM
37
It was only my last couple years of HS
6/23/2015 10:06 AM
38
I followed my parents around until college so I went to local schools.
6/20/2015 1:22 PM
39
My parents had us be part if the decision and we prayed about it together.
6/19/2015 10:32 PM
40
To go with a friend who had to go.
6/19/2015 9:22 AM
41
Moved when I was 14, so boarding school helped me stay on track with NAmerican curriculum
6/19/2015 8:26 AM
42
I can't say that I had other choices, but I wanted anyway.
6/19/2015 7:56 AM
43
I attended boarding school from 3rd to 6th grade. However my situation was different because my parents were
teachers, so I lived with them.
6/19/2015 4:05 AM
44
I lived with my family at the boarding school
6/18/2015 5:10 PM
45
I attended a boarding school, but did not board (I lived at home).
6/17/2015 10:39 PM
46
Was mission policy but there wasn't really any other practical option
6/17/2015 7:06 PM
47
It felt like only choice then
6/16/2015 3:01 PM
74 / 157
SurveyMonkey
48
Local French schools
6/16/2015 7:09 AM
49
It was normal to attend it
6/15/2015 12:39 PM
50
Unschooled
6/15/2015 7:52 AM
51
we never thought of other possibilities to study
6/14/2015 2:15 PM
52
It was boarding school or homeschool! No way!
6/14/2015 9:16 AM
53
But I would have preferred it to my actual high school. My mom just wouldn't let me go.
6/14/2015 7:58 AM
54
My local option was in a foreign language.
6/13/2015 2:17 PM
55
And I feel so blessed and grateful for that.
6/11/2015 10:53 AM
56
Don't remember exactly but i think it was a mixture of #1 and 2
6/11/2015 6:43 AM
57
I spent my senior year away from my parents becasue they moved back to my passport country
6/10/2015 4:05 PM
58
They kinda of required it since they already invested in the school but my parents gave me other options.
6/10/2015 11:41 AM
59
All three actually.
6/10/2015 12:58 AM
60
I only went for 12th grade--no other options available.
6/9/2015 10:51 PM
61
Mission policy changed when I was in high school. Then I choose to continue going there.
6/9/2015 10:22 PM
62
My parents were against it. Said you don't have kids, just to send them for others to raise.
6/9/2015 8:41 PM
63
There were few options. My parents and I both saw it as the best option.
6/9/2015 8:28 PM
64
Also lived in area with no international schools nearby
6/9/2015 6:53 PM
65
It was the only American school option
6/9/2015 6:30 PM
66
I was also in agreement with this decision. I accepted it as the norm. Boarding School only went to 8th grade (I
attended 4th - 8th), and I lived at home with my parents for highschool. (correspondence courses)
6/9/2015 5:42 PM
67
Only for grade 1.
6/9/2015 5:23 PM
68
It was the only option
6/9/2015 5:18 PM
69
There wasn't other options for high school other than homeschooling
6/9/2015 5:02 PM
70
It was the only option at the time - just for one year though
6/9/2015 4:35 PM
71
I begged to go as I felt isolated being home-schooled in a remote place.
6/9/2015 4:24 PM
72
I was not a boarding student, but went to a school that had both day and boarding students
6/9/2015 2:30 PM
73
I went to boarding school but as a day student, so it was different. All my closest friends were boarding students,
so if I became one it would have been because I wanted to.
6/9/2015 1:10 PM
74
Answer- all of the above. But I should also say that I was a home student attending a boarding school, so I'm sure
my answers should be looked at somewhat differently.
6/9/2015 12:08 PM
75
my parents moved and were on staff while I was there
6/9/2015 9:16 AM
76
My parents taught at a boarding school
6/9/2015 9:14 AM
77
My parents left the decision up to me, I had complete peace from God about it. I developed socially at boarding
school in ways that I couldn't possibly have at home.
6/8/2015 10:46 PM
78
My family lived at a boarding school
6/8/2015 8:58 PM
79
Too old for foreign school
6/8/2015 8:50 PM
80
It was a mutual decision between my parents and I.
6/8/2015 8:46 PM
75 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q24 My experience in boarding school was:

Answered: 702
Skipped: 41
Mostly
positive
Neither
positive nor
negative
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
Good
Answer Choices
Mostly
negative
Bad
Responses
Good
36.63%
148
Mostly positive
46.04%
186
Neither positive nor negative
5.94%
24
Mostly negative
9.16%
37
Bad
2.23%
Total
404
Date
demanding staff. little empathy for the very young. harsh punishment
6/27/2015 5:40 AM
good because of doem life and my parents, bad because at school I was bullied and left out of things at Dalat
school (which was a very inclusive environment ).
6/27/2015 1:12 AM
both...
6/26/2015 11:26 PM
In 2nd grade I had a female teacher who was abusive & liked to slap me.
6/26/2015 11:26 PM
I would say both good and bad..somehow that is different from neither positive or negaive which leaves me at
neutral and it wasn't that
6/26/2015 11:17 PM
I enjoyed the British style of schooling, with its uniforms, codes of conduct, and tradition
6/26/2015 10:47 PM
My "home" ; best time of my life so far. Only real relationships i"ve had cultivated there.
6/26/2015 10:16 PM
Home student
6/26/2015 4:34 PM
If we're talking about growth of character
6/26/2015 3:54 PM
10
Sure, there were some bad times, but that's normal (even if I weren't in the dorm)
6/26/2015 6:44 AM
11
Sometime ask about attending local schools as an immigrant
6/26/2015 2:22 AM
12
tough when I had it; but the positives have outweighed the negatives
6/26/2015 2:12 AM
13
It was great!!! Such an important season in my life!!
6/26/2015 2:09 AM
76 / 157
SurveyMonkey
14
6/26/2015 1:56 AM
15
both positive and negative (more negative when younger)
6/26/2015 1:15 AM
16
Elementary school was super hard. High school was fun.
6/25/2015 9:06 PM
17
It was a great experience but I never felt like I fit in
6/25/2015 8:08 PM
18
I loved it
6/25/2015 7:08 AM
19
At my first boarding school they didn't have a real dorm and we lived with different families who just didn't have
the time to take very good care of others' kids.
6/25/2015 6:18 AM
20
But with very rough hard times around some fanatic authoritarians
6/25/2015 12:18 AM
21
Good education, but the authority and excessive spiritualizing of everything were confusing.
6/24/2015 3:38 PM
22
THE BEST--I wish my kids could have had that.
6/24/2015 2:58 PM
23
Felt cut off because I wasn't in dorms but school in the day was better than being at home.
6/23/2015 11:14 PM
24
Due to, ironically, not fitting in, in the one place everyone kept promising me I would fit in best. It was high school.
I wasn't "cool."
6/23/2015 10:06 AM
25
Only because I was already 14 when I went there. As a small child it would have been difficult.
6/20/2015 7:58 AM
26
Very positive
6/17/2015 4:37 PM
27
First boarding school was awful. I came home after 3 months. Second boarding school was fantastic.
6/17/2015 4:30 PM
28
I'd say Excellent! Some of the best years of my life really!
6/13/2015 10:27 PM
29
Great for relationships--not great for learning independence. I have a lifelong suspicion of institutions that comes
from this experience.
6/13/2015 12:35 PM
30
Awesome, actually.
6/10/2015 10:54 PM
31
It was a good experience... hard but good
6/10/2015 4:05 PM
32
It has been my most defining experience
6/10/2015 12:00 PM
33
My two years 9 and 10 th grades, 10,000 miles from folks,it was a secure, friendly place for me
6/10/2015 7:26 AM
34
In many ways boarding school expanded my interests, brought me out of my shell, and made me a more wellrounded person, with more school activity options than were available in my parents town of service.
6/9/2015 10:22 PM
35
The big time negative was not recognized until much, much later in life - issues related to early life
(subconscious) feelings of abandonment.
6/9/2015 10:04 PM
36
This question lacks what I feel. It was "neither positive or negative", it was both very positive, and strongly
negative at the same time. My education was excellent and has served me well for most of my life, but at the
expense of a strict, stifled social development that engaged neither the local culture, nor my home culture, and
was devoid of any "parenting". At the boarding school, I grew up an orphan.
6/9/2015 9:38 PM
37
As an 8 yr old it was horribly hard. As a teen it was a wonderful experience.
6/9/2015 7:31 PM
38
It really was a lot of both positive and negative
6/9/2015 7:00 PM
39
AMAZING! I loved boarding school--started in 2nd grade and went to 12th grade. Loved it. Wouldn't trade it.
6/9/2015 6:26 PM
40
some positives but weighted by a lot of negatives, lack of nurturing from 6 yrs
6/9/2015 5:51 PM
41
It was good there for me, but the grief of family separation was intense at times
6/9/2015 5:48 PM
42
What I would really like to say is "Both positive and negative"
6/9/2015 5:24 PM
43
but my parents didn't like it
6/9/2015 5:23 PM
44
Boarded with a family that was very different than my own. They "family" time and asked me to leave the room
frequently.
6/9/2015 4:24 PM
45
Great! ... no kidding!
6/9/2015 4:18 PM
46
Awesome
6/9/2015 4:06 PM
77 / 157
SurveyMonkey
47
Again, not really boarding, but MK school... and it was positive.
6/9/2015 1:10 PM
48
but the negative stuff stayed with me for YEARS
6/9/2015 12:03 PM
49
with a few very negative aspects
6/8/2015 11:08 PM
50
Really great, actually.
6/8/2015 10:46 PM
51
My experience of it at the time felt positive, but I can see some negative outcomes.
6/8/2015 10:05 PM
52
Great-amazing-life changing
6/8/2015 8:24 PM
78 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q25 The best part of attending a boarding

school was
Answered: 702
Skipped: 41
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
The
relation
ships
with ...
The
adult
mentors
who...
The
staff
and
faculty
The
level of
educatio
n
Getting
away
from
my
parents
The
opportun
ities
for...
Living
in a
dorm/res
idence
Answer Choices
Being
prepared
for
colle...
Responses
The relationships with my peers
58.29%
239
The adult mentors who invested in me
9.27%
38
The staff and faculty
2.68%
11
The level of education
7.07%
29
Getting away from my parents
3.90%
16
The opportunities for extra-curricular activities (sports, arts, etc)
4.63%
19
Living in a dorm/residence
7.56%
31
Being prepared for college in my passport culture
6.59%
27
Total
410
Date
a single teacher who tenderly reached out
6/27/2015 5:40 AM
Didn't feel it helped prepare me for college as I thought "I can handle this as it'll be like boarding school. It
wasn't"
6/26/2015 11:26 PM
Also adult mentors... very important
6/26/2015 10:16 PM
All of the above!!!
6/26/2015 2:09 AM
If I could, I'd check the first Three options.
6/26/2015 2:02 AM
6/26/2015 1:56 AM
Legit me used to being away from my parents since I knew I'd be returning to the U.S. in 2 years
6/26/2015 12:00 AM
All of the above
6/25/2015 11:51 PM
79 / 157
SurveyMonkey
I don't mean this as an altogether negative reflection on them; I was just ready for the company and society of
peers who did not share my surname. My parents faced the unforgiving task of parenting children ranging from
highly independent, rebellious late teen to impressionable kindergarten-age; we all *needed* a break and
boarding school killed two birds with one stone...
6/25/2015 9:22 PM
10
the early autonomy and freedom to roam
6/25/2015 8:33 PM
11
Also had excellent academics
6/25/2015 8:11 PM
12
There was nothing good about it.
6/25/2015 5:22 PM
13
With relationships with my peers being a close second.
6/25/2015 9:48 AM
14
The relationships I built with peers and staff/faculty
6/25/2015 7:08 AM
15
some faculty were great
6/25/2015 12:18 AM
16
Many of the above were wonderful things for me
6/24/2015 9:36 PM
17
I have life-long friends who are more like family!
6/24/2015 4:51 PM
18
There was none
6/24/2015 3:21 PM
19
Really hard to choose between the top 7--can't say enough good things about my boarding school and the adults
and my peers there.
6/24/2015 2:58 PM
20
Had a good experience with most of the dorm parents and staff! Still have contacts and friendships with them to
this day!
6/24/2015 8:10 AM
21
many of these options are equally true
6/24/2015 3:05 AM
22
Also loved learning and wanted to be with people, though extremely shy, sheltered and akward.
6/23/2015 11:14 PM
23
I really enjoyed my classes.
6/23/2015 10:06 AM
24
Teachers loved me up.
6/22/2015 9:50 AM
25
relationships AND extra-curricular activities were both huge
6/17/2015 8:27 PM
26
a place of belonging,where most of the kids were from similar background.
6/13/2015 3:58 PM
27
I was able to be at boarding school with 2 of my 3 siblings. by the time the youngest one came I went on to high
school.
6/12/2015 6:48 AM
28
being able to grow up and build stronger relationships
6/10/2015 4:05 PM
29
This is a tough one, if I could, I would choose the top 3 options
6/10/2015 11:41 AM
30
The relative independence was the main thing . . . and also, experiencing a new country, living with people who I
didn't have to explain myself to.
6/10/2015 10:53 AM
31
relationship with peers comes second.
6/10/2015 12:05 AM
32
...and the experience of being "independant"
6/9/2015 10:04 PM
33
Amazing field trips!
6/9/2015 7:46 PM
34
Several of these apply.
6/9/2015 6:15 PM
35
we had fun, made fun memories
6/9/2015 5:42 PM
36
Additionally the extracurricular activities
6/9/2015 5:18 PM
37
Good transition between native schools and the U.S.
6/9/2015 4:52 PM
38
I was very young (gr. 3) so don't remember much
6/9/2015 4:35 PM
39
All but getting away from my parents...hard to choose!
6/9/2015 4:28 PM
40
The answer to this for me would be a tie between the first two. Peers+adults
6/9/2015 12:08 PM
41
Experiencing being "normal" with other TCKs
6/9/2015 12:21 AM
42
Ooh, but a close second was getting away from my dad.
6/8/2015 10:46 PM
80 / 157
SurveyMonkey
43
Almost even between 1 and 2
6/8/2015 10:16 PM
44
1,3 5 & &. I would like to select them all
6/8/2015 9:51 PM
45
Visiting historic sites
6/8/2015 8:48 PM
46
And the adults who invested in me.
6/8/2015 8:46 PM
47
Can I have multiple answers?
6/8/2015 8:24 PM
48
Side note: i wish I could select most of these answers
6/8/2015 8:23 PM
49
The extracurricular and level of education was required for the college I wanted to attend
6/8/2015 7:50 PM
50
All of the above except for NA.
6/8/2015 7:37 PM
51
getting away from my father
6/8/2015 7:20 PM
81 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q26 On the topic of abuse in boarding

schools:
Answered: 707
Skipped: 36
100%
80%
60%
40%
20%
0%
I
witnessed
something
I woul...
I
witnessed
something
I woul...
I
experienc
ed
first-...
I
experienc
ed
first-...
I heard
about
abuse
but
didnt...
The was
no abuse
that I
know of
I am
confident
that
there ...
Answer Choices
Responses
I witnessed something I would consider sexually abusive
1.63%
I witnessed something I would consider abusive in other ways (emotionally, verbally, etc.)
12.59%
54
I experienced first-hand something I would consider sexually abusive
5.59%
24
I experienced first-hand something I would consider abusive in other ways (emotionally, verbally, etc.)
16.32%
70
I heard about abuse but didnt witness it first-hand
22.14%
95
The was no abuse that I know of
33.10%
142
I am confident that there was no abuse
8.62%
37
Total
429
Date
I know too much
6/26/2015 11:26 PM
Heard about it at other schools in the past, but not mine.
6/26/2015 10:16 PM
also, aware of female peers with questionable dorm parents (BFA) - sexually/emotionally abusive - Wycliff
emotionally abusive/sexually abusive/denying gang rape for the benefit of the organization
6/26/2015 6:51 PM
6/26/2015 1:56 AM
know that it happened to my siblings
6/25/2015 7:47 PM
I was not aware while attending boarding school but heard later from friends who experienced abuse
6/25/2015 6:19 PM
psychological pressure to conform - not sure I call it abuse
6/25/2015 12:18 AM
I believe that the word "abuse" has been very much "abused" - my experience has shown me that memories are
fallible and often unreliable.
6/24/2015 9:17 PM
heard about it yrs after leaving school
6/24/2015 8:44 PM
10
emotional abuse(guilt) is subjective & not unique to MK setting, nor is it unilaterally "abuse".
6/24/2015 4:21 PM
82 / 157
SurveyMonkey
11
Heard about the abuse 30 yrs later, and looking back, maybe it was, but IDK that *I* would classify it as such; I
saw it only as strictness.
6/24/2015 2:58 PM
12
And other
6/24/2015 7:13 AM
13
Experienced sexual abuse as an MK, but not in boarding school. Abusers were locals involved in my parents'
ministry. My sister was sexually abused by a teacher at our MK school.
6/24/2015 3:54 AM
14
All the abuse i heard about had happened in the past. Except for one man who had trouble controling his temper.
His actions would fall into a "mildly abusive" category if there is such a thing.
6/23/2015 10:10 PM
15
No abuse in schools, but I had sisters sexually abused by a fellow missionary.
6/23/2015 12:16 PM
16
There were "messed up" moments, but I don't know if "sexual abuse" is a warranted term
6/19/2015 8:26 AM
17
some emotional abuse by peers
6/18/2015 7:41 PM
18
A lot of emotional abuse and bullying from the dorm parents
6/18/2015 1:13 PM
19
I also experienced emotional abuse first-hand.
6/17/2015 11:33 PM
20
I also witness and heard about things that were sexually abusive and also abusive in other ways, at the first
boarding school. I personally don't know anyone who went to that school who hasn't had some SERIOUS issues
to work through/cope with once leaving. Not a person. So very sad.
6/17/2015 4:30 PM
21
Emotional manipulation from a peer (both myself and my sister from the same friend)
6/13/2015 2:17 PM
22
It was among the MKs, not the staff
6/11/2015 4:01 PM
23
And witnessed something I would consider abusive in other ways.
6/10/2015 10:54 PM
24
Religious intolerance
6/10/2015 3:08 PM
25
I would almost say "I am confident there was no abuse", but that would be claiming knowledge I don't have. How
could I, as a teen, know everything that went on in the whole school? But when I attended boarding school, there
were no rumors of abuse of any kind that ever reached my ears. So although I believe that there was no abuse at
all, even covered up, the most I can say of my own personal knowledge is "there was no abuse that I know of".
6/10/2015 7:19 AM
26
I only heard about it since adulthood. I was oblivious of it as a kid and it happened to my best friend in grade
school.
6/10/2015 3:40 AM
27
Our dorm was by mission (not by gender or age group) so 1st to 12th graders lived in the same building. Girls
and guys in separate parts of the building. Big kids (usually boys) tended to pick on little kids (usually boys) in
many different ways.
6/9/2015 10:22 PM
28
Is there such a thing as spiritual abuse haha?
6/9/2015 10:14 PM
29
I am a heterosexual male. Another student at the hostel offered oral sex, if I would perfom it on him. I declined.
He also introduced me to heterosexual porn, at age 11 or 12.
6/9/2015 10:04 PM
30
Environment was like "The Lord of the Flies". I was regularly bullied by older boys, and their friends in my grade,
both verbally and physically. I experienced unjust corporal punishment because of that bullying. I feared going to
sleep at night. Don't think I was ever hugged once through my whole childhood.
6/9/2015 9:38 PM
31
Also Witnessed sexually abusive behavior
6/9/2015 9:26 PM
32
But personally have had my family affected by it, because of the traumas that an MK who married into the family,
brought into the family dynamics. In essence, she has recreated the trauma on my child by not having hers
worked through as an adult. My kid is now traumatized and we both sought counseling.
6/9/2015 8:41 PM
33
How many can I check
6/9/2015 8:11 PM
34
There's a typo on the one that I agreed with.
6/9/2015 7:17 PM
35
Mainly saw a lot of manipulation by faculty. most of us didn't do anything horrible but we were treated like we had
committed horrible sins. People were often kicked out and not given the help they needed
6/9/2015 6:53 PM
36
I was slapped inappropriately one time, but family members suffered more severe inappropriate corporal
punishment
6/9/2015 5:48 PM
37
mostly just disciplinary measures that seemed harsh at times; I think it was the culture of the day, though.
6/9/2015 5:42 PM
83 / 157
SurveyMonkey
38
Had 2staff'out to get me' but knew who to go to for help & resolution of problem. Also defended a friend from
verbal abuse
6/9/2015 5:18 PM
39
Two boys accosted me, a native employee stopped them. I never reported it
6/9/2015 4:52 PM
40
but it wasn't because i was in boarding school, it just happened during those years
6/9/2015 4:31 PM
41
I have since learned that some experienced abuse in later years.
6/9/2015 4:24 PM
42
The terms "emotional/verbal abuse" apply to such a wide range of behaviors that I feel I should not answer this
question. The boarding school I went to had some negative aspects to it, but "abuse" is not the word I would use.
However, I know for a fact that other kids who were there at the same time as me, would unhesitatingly call it
"emotional abuse", 50 years later. Many members of the staff were not spiriually healthy (unrealistic, "superspiritual", etc.), and the atmosphere was not great.
6/9/2015 1:48 PM
43
Again, not a boarding student, but my MK school had dorms. I didn't know about any abuse.
6/9/2015 1:10 PM
44
I'm sure there are instances of this happening, but none that I heard about at the time.
6/9/2015 12:08 PM
45
the system was in and of itself in some ways abusive
6/8/2015 11:08 PM
46
I'm confident in nothing, but I'd be surprised to hear of abuse at BFA.
6/8/2015 10:01 PM
47
Obviously my experience did not take place in boarding school, but has been part of my life experience. Clearly
something my family and I have had to deal with. In a few words, but not to be trite: very painful, God provided
grace and healing, very powerful however I am recently seeing some of the other unidentified ramifications from
the abuse.
6/8/2015 9:51 PM
48
at the hands of an adult missionary but I wasn't at boarding school.
6/8/2015 8:49 PM
49
The little "abuse" I experienced was pretty minor and was no worse than I would have experienced in any other
setting.
6/8/2015 7:37 PM
50
I went to BFA but I was a home student. I saw this with the dorm kids I saw friends with. But I was abused so
maybe that's why I knew
6/8/2015 7:06 PM
84 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q27 The one thing I wish my parents had

done differently is:
Answered: 554
Skipped: 189
Responses
Date
In hind sight....nothing
6/27/2015 10:33 AM
Prepared me for being an adult in he US
6/27/2015 9:40 AM
Kept the family intact. All siblings were sent to different schools
6/27/2015 9:36 AM
Made me more of a priority in the sense that they had let me know they cared about my feelings and considered
my opinions or thoughts.
6/27/2015 8:56 AM
treat me as if I was more important than their job
6/27/2015 5:47 AM
I wish my dad didn't have to work so hard, that he had more time to spend with us and time for himself, but he
was the only surgeon in the country we lived in most of the time I was little.
6/27/2015 5:40 AM
put me in public pre-school to better learn the local language
6/27/2015 4:29 AM
Nothing.
6/27/2015 3:02 AM
That my dad spent more time with my sisters and me.
6/27/2015 2:48 AM
10
Listen to me. I felt like they never had time to listen. Ever.
6/27/2015 2:38 AM
11
teach me about my cultres
6/27/2015 2:14 AM
12
been closer during college and early married years
6/27/2015 1:40 AM
13
Nothing
6/27/2015 1:13 AM
14
6/27/2015 12:40 AM
15
invested more in teaching me about my cultural roots (passportcountry)
6/27/2015 12:19 AM
16
Given me more options of making my own decisions as a younger teen
6/27/2015 12:10 AM
17
Knew that my upbringing was different than theirs
6/27/2015 12:07 AM
18
Provided more support in learning the national language
6/26/2015 11:54 PM
19
I wish we had stayed in Europe rather than moving to Asia, and preferably in one country the whole time.
6/26/2015 11:49 PM
20
share their own journey more and participate in mine
6/26/2015 11:27 PM
21
nothing comes to mind...they did a good job!
6/26/2015 11:24 PM
22
Taught me more about life in America.
6/26/2015 10:52 PM
23
Encouraged me to get out more. I tended to stay at home and read instead of experience my country
6/26/2015 10:49 PM
24
Send me to boarding school in Germany for high school
6/26/2015 10:42 PM
25
Spent more time talking about God's love and grace versus God's need for obedience and punishment
6/26/2015 10:33 PM
26
Helped me have closure before leaving overseas.
6/26/2015 10:30 PM
27
My siblings and i were raised as colleagues of my parents. Once i stopped serving / being a missionary at my
parents' church i realized our family 'link' was all tied up in the church and there was a very strange emptiness. I
continue to serve- but at a different church, even so.
6/26/2015 10:28 PM
28
continued to speak the native language to us while in the states, so we wouldn't forget it
6/26/2015 10:20 PM
29
?? Can't think of anything!
6/26/2015 10:20 PM
30
Told me more often they were proud of me.. not "try harder" and "why can't you be more social?"
6/26/2015 10:19 PM
85 / 157
SurveyMonkey
31
Readiness for American colleges.
6/26/2015 10:12 PM
32
Not return to the States when I was in middle school
6/26/2015 10:08 PM
33
Been less strict
6/26/2015 10:03 PM
34
Not send me to boarding school
6/26/2015 8:53 PM
35
not take me to the US for my senior year in high school
6/26/2015 7:10 PM
36
I'm fine with who they are/what they did
6/26/2015 6:53 PM
37
I wish my parents would have been more aware of their own emotional health and that of my younger sister and I
6/26/2015 6:10 PM
38
i think they did the best they could with what they knew
6/26/2015 6:05 PM
39
Helped me be able to express my opinions better
6/26/2015 5:31 PM
40
Honestly, nothing comes to mind
6/26/2015 4:57 PM
41
been savvy about the world and how it works
6/26/2015 3:57 PM
42
Find a way to give us more insight into our passport culture.
6/26/2015 2:40 PM
43
Thought through the consequences of splitting up the family.
6/26/2015 1:24 PM
44
I went away for 1 semester in 3rd grade. That was bad, and my parents realized it. High school boarding school
was mostly a positive experience though I was bullied by other girls/ostracized because I did not start as an
elementary schooler. I had no real close friends in high school.
6/26/2015 12:02 PM
45
Done more to prepare me for returning to the U.S. for college
6/26/2015 10:19 AM
46
Nothing
6/26/2015 9:45 AM
47
Put family ahead of "work".
6/26/2015 8:44 AM
48
take me out of school for a while when I was emotionally struggling.
6/26/2015 8:37 AM
49
Make sure I had more interaction and meaningful relationships with locals
6/26/2015 6:58 AM
50
send me to the local Japanese schools in elementary school, tho in those days, the level of education was not
that high.
6/26/2015 6:47 AM
51
Teach me how to balance a checkbook
6/26/2015 6:45 AM
52
Talked with me about the MK experience and allowed me to express negative emotions at an early age. Later in
life (as a college student), they validated my emotions/experiences well, and when I was a teenager, they
emphasized that I did not have to be perfect. But as a young child, I felt that I was not supposed to be afraid or
angry or sad (especially from my dad) and I think this affected me later.
6/26/2015 5:35 AM
53
Spoke with me about the hard things
6/26/2015 4:31 AM
54
i don't know how they could have helped prepare me for the culture shock of returning to live in the states
6/26/2015 3:59 AM
55
I wish they did not move so often when I was a child
6/26/2015 3:14 AM
56
Taken more time with me
6/26/2015 2:53 AM
57
Let me keep connected with my local friends
6/26/2015 2:24 AM
58
not put me in English school. local school would of helped me connetc better with the locals
6/26/2015 2:20 AM
59
More family time, less work.
6/26/2015 2:11 AM
60
I wish my dad had been more verbal in expressing his love for me.
6/26/2015 2:05 AM
61
take time to seek counseling for their marital issues.
6/26/2015 2:04 AM
62
Visited my passport country more often
6/26/2015 1:46 AM
63
Nothing
6/26/2015 1:41 AM
64
spend more money on clothes
6/26/2015 1:18 AM
86 / 157
SurveyMonkey
65
Gone when I was younger
6/26/2015 12:02 AM
66
Not made me go to private christian schools on home assignment.
6/25/2015 11:53 PM
67
homeschooled my younger sister longer.
6/25/2015 11:50 PM
68
I was blessed! Nothing.
6/25/2015 11:47 PM
69
Expanded my social boundaries in high school (I was homeschooled 8th-12th when we moved to the States. I've
only been asked on one date in my life and I was 24 or 25 at the time.
6/25/2015 11:46 PM
70
asked us what we thought about moving and waiting for us to be in agreement as a family
6/25/2015 11:39 PM
71
Nothing
6/25/2015 11:39 PM
72
Traveling around Per more.
6/25/2015 11:22 PM
73
Place me in Spanish-speaking school for at least the first few years of my life to truly gain more culture and the
best Spanish possible.
6/25/2015 11:12 PM
74
Made family time a higher priority
6/25/2015 10:53 PM
75
set parenting as first priority
6/25/2015 10:46 PM
76
nothing
6/25/2015 10:39 PM
77
Have someone teach me the local language in middle school or earlier.
6/25/2015 10:32 PM
78
Be educated about the job force and how to best prepare yourself for it
6/25/2015 10:14 PM
79
not put me in uneviable position of having to weigh my desire for belonging in an American teenage environment
against the eternal damnation of thousands of unreached souls in a faraway country...That sole event was the
fulcrum that pivoted us as a family over to the mission-field, and also slammed shut the possibility of ever trusting
them if anything faith-related hung in the balance. Maybe they learned that from God's manipulation of Abram a
la Isaac on Mt. Moriah. Just being imitators, I suppose...meh. C'est la vie...
6/25/2015 9:53 PM
80
Visit more often
6/25/2015 9:47 PM
81
Had been as focused on me as they werelate on the ministry.
6/25/2015 9:31 PM
82
Been more there
6/25/2015 9:29 PM
83
Given more details before sending me off to school on my own.
6/25/2015 9:17 PM
84
Not sent me away to boarding school when I was six.
6/25/2015 9:07 PM
85
Been more open about how they felt about sending me away to boarding school
6/25/2015 9:06 PM
86
Taken more breaks/vacations
6/25/2015 8:45 PM
87
I always wanted to live in the form because I thought it would make me more accepted.
6/25/2015 8:42 PM
88
homeschooled me
6/25/2015 8:36 PM
89
Not send me to boarding school.
6/25/2015 8:31 PM
90
I have no wishes in this regard
6/25/2015 8:19 PM
91
Allowed me to spend my last 2 years of college in one place
6/25/2015 8:14 PM
92
I wish they could have stayed longer and let me stay. (I came back a year after college)
6/25/2015 8:13 PM
93
Encourage me to pay more attention to college preparation and career.
6/25/2015 8:08 PM
94
adopted father not be so abusive to my mom and family.
6/25/2015 8:01 PM
95
Discipline me more.
6/25/2015 7:59 PM
96
I think they did a great job!
6/25/2015 7:49 PM
97
not expected siblings & myself to adapt to a very conservative, culture, on our return to U.S.
6/25/2015 7:45 PM
98
Visit the States more often. (In 14 years on the field I only visited the States 4 times)
6/25/2015 7:44 PM
87 / 157
SurveyMonkey
99
Made me a priority
6/25/2015 7:44 PM
100
I wish my Mom had sought psychological help.
6/25/2015 7:33 PM
101
Provided comfort
6/25/2015 7:31 PM
102
Realize that the place they called home in the USA was not what I called home. Overseas where I grew up was
home and always will be.
6/25/2015 7:21 PM
103
Learned to speak our love languages and made sure we felt as loved as the people they ministered to.
6/25/2015 7:19 PM
104
Kept us up in the local language. I lost my birth tongue and it hurts.
6/25/2015 7:15 PM
105
More time in the national community, and not just the missionary community.
6/25/2015 7:07 PM
106
Seek counseling
6/25/2015 6:53 PM
107
Facilitated reunions with MKs and school friends left behind during each move, if nothing else photos with names
of school friends.
6/25/2015 6:48 PM
108
Explained more about their perspective vs others
6/25/2015 6:48 PM
109
Talked woth me more on re-entry to my passport country.
6/25/2015 6:47 PM
110
Not send me to boarding school it was a terrible experience
6/25/2015 6:41 PM
111
My parents bore the hurt of sending us to boarding school and have never released that hurt. My siblings and I
have all turned out fairly normal and are all serving the Lord in our lives.
6/25/2015 6:22 PM
112
Consider my life in the face of what they chose their lives to be
6/25/2015 5:55 PM
113
Not send us away and not put the mission first and treat us kids as an inconvenience.
6/25/2015 5:33 PM
114
Talked and emotionally prepare us for changes
6/25/2015 4:07 PM
115
Learned to love each other and not give up their marriage. Try to help me
6/25/2015 3:59 PM
116
let us get closer to nationals
6/25/2015 2:57 PM
117
communicated more about their feelings in sending us to boarding school
6/25/2015 2:41 PM
118
Nothing
6/25/2015 2:19 PM
119
Immediately removed me from the abuse at boarding school when they found out, and procured counseling for
me.
6/25/2015 1:52 PM
120
Given me more life skills--doing taxes, going to DMV, etc. In the states, you have to be independent and
confident and navigate yourself around life there, and I could not get a grip the first couple of years
6/25/2015 1:25 PM
121
Stayed home and sent me to a local school
6/25/2015 12:29 PM
122
Raised us at home a little bit longer before sending us off to Boarding School
6/25/2015 12:10 PM
123
made me more of a priority
6/25/2015 12:03 PM
124
They did what they could because THEY WERE WHERE GOD SENT THEM! Do we wish GOD wld have
planned it differently?
6/25/2015 12:02 PM
125
Prepared us better for life after leaving home.
6/25/2015 10:58 AM
126
They did what they knew best at the time.
6/25/2015 10:47 AM
127
Been real...too long on the missionary pedestal!
6/25/2015 10:18 AM
128
Been more aware of my brother's personal/relational needs by discussing boarding school circumstances
6/25/2015 10:10 AM
129
Nothing really. I do wish there was some way that they could have been more involved in "raising me" but instead
we spent most of our childhood experiencing the holiday times together, having "fun". They did what they could to
have a relationship with us by writing and visiting half way through each trimester, but it wasn't until we were
adults that we really got to know our parents. I have rare memories of truly "parental" moments with my parents but those are special to me.
6/25/2015 9:55 AM
130
Make more of an effort to help me keep in contact with my extended family back in my passport country.
6/25/2015 9:40 AM
88 / 157
SurveyMonkey
131
i cant think of anything. my parents modeled a Spirit-filled life, in love with Jesus, and as a result, all 5 of their
children love Jesus and are serving Him in Ametica and in Africa. We are grateful yo our parents for modeling
loving obedience to Father, in allsorts of situations- easy and difficult.
6/25/2015 9:24 AM
132
Involved me in more ministry while I was home from boarding school
6/25/2015 8:03 AM
133
Uncertain. Not much was known at the time.
6/25/2015 7:53 AM
134
not become missionaries.
6/25/2015 7:41 AM
135
Not go back to the states for furlough
6/25/2015 7:12 AM
136
They should have demanded a better car and more days off to be able to see my elder sister more often when
she started her boarding school two-days-travel away from my parents. They didn't see each other many times
during the first half year.
6/25/2015 6:26 AM
137
prepare me for public school in the usa where kids did not mix with other races
6/25/2015 6:00 AM
138
Spend more time with me and my brother
6/25/2015 2:18 AM
139
my parents did an incredible job, really tried to be sensitive, make sacrifices for us to be well adjusted,
6/25/2015 2:03 AM
140
Nothing
6/25/2015 1:30 AM
141
Validate and openly discuss grief and lies about God related to that grief.
6/24/2015 11:46 PM
142
Nothing
6/24/2015 11:43 PM
143
included me in their work
6/24/2015 11:42 PM
144
More training about culture shock, cross-cultural living, et cetera
6/24/2015 11:18 PM
145
Understood the difficulty of my culture shock in coming to the states. It was a return home for them. It was
foreign to me.
6/24/2015 10:39 PM
146
Visited me at boarding school more often.
6/24/2015 10:27 PM
147
Can't think of anything - they weren't perfect, but they did the best they could before God.
6/24/2015 9:22 PM
148
Not had high spiritual expectations
6/24/2015 8:50 PM
149
pursued emotional intimacy with us kids
6/24/2015 8:41 PM
150
put me in a local school when i was younger, so i had picked up the local language
6/24/2015 8:16 PM
151
I don't really have any burning desire that they would have done things substantially different.
6/24/2015 8:08 PM
152
Not put me on a pedestal
6/24/2015 7:49 PM
153
Gone earlier. I wish I'd be born in Togo.
6/24/2015 6:53 PM
154
Stood up to missionary leaders
6/24/2015 6:45 PM
155
Understood better the initial separation anxiety each time we were left at the school.
6/24/2015 6:31 PM
156
Not put me in 13 different schools
6/24/2015 6:22 PM
157
Not sent me to boarding school
6/24/2015 5:59 PM
158
Raised me with more compassion, tenderness and emotional nurture. I was criticized and put down way too
much, so now always have the awful battle of fighting perfectionism.
6/24/2015 5:48 PM
159
I wish they could have been around more for life's transitions into adulthood: college, careers, marriage, birth of
children, etc.
6/24/2015 5:30 PM
160
Returned to the U.S. with me after HS grad. That was when I really began feeling alone.
6/24/2015 5:24 PM
161
Prepared us more for movie big back to the United States
6/24/2015 5:10 PM
162
Pushed me more
6/24/2015 5:04 PM
163
I'm blessed in that I think my parents did everything right.
6/24/2015 4:45 PM
164
Tried to understand a little more what we were going through as MKs.
6/24/2015 4:42 PM
89 / 157
SurveyMonkey
165
Told me I didn't have to be perfect.
6/24/2015 4:35 PM
166
Taught me more about finances
6/24/2015 4:34 PM
167
Nothing, they did the best they could under the circumstances
6/24/2015 4:16 PM
168
not sent us to boarding school until we were teens
6/24/2015 3:53 PM
169
Homeschooled
6/24/2015 3:49 PM
170
Go back for one more term
6/24/2015 3:49 PM
171
Started me in boarding school earlier
6/24/2015 3:45 PM
172
Home school would have been better.
6/24/2015 3:41 PM
173
spent more time with us when we were with them
6/24/2015 3:28 PM
174
became missionaries when I was younger
6/24/2015 3:25 PM
175
not sent me away
6/24/2015 3:22 PM
176
played with me more instead of working all the time.
6/24/2015 3:00 PM
177
LIstening me really carefully after they returned from mission field.
6/24/2015 2:23 PM
178
homeschooled us
6/24/2015 2:17 PM
179
Understood the embarrassment of wearing hand-me-downs or clothes from Target when a kid is in 8th grade
(back in the '80s when Target wasn't cool).
6/24/2015 2:13 PM
180
Taken vacations on furlough - they were long and hard and as kids we needed a reprieve.
6/24/2015 1:10 PM
181
Gone with a bigger mission agency. We were the first in our mission in our country, whereas my friends had
many friends in their age group in the same mission.
6/24/2015 11:40 AM
182
Been more open
6/24/2015 10:43 AM
183
Helping me navigate living in 2 cultures (at school and in our house) better.
6/24/2015 9:52 AM
184
Stayed overseas longer
6/24/2015 9:35 AM
185
Help me process what it means to be a Woman as I was growing up in a Muslim Country.
6/24/2015 9:11 AM
186
I think my parents tried very hard to do their best to to the right thing for us and our family. We lived in
Venezuela,Ecuador, Peruand Brazil. My Dad's sister and brother also lived in Quito,Ecudor when we were there,
so had "real" extended family there. Other missionary families took on that role in other countries.
6/24/2015 8:19 AM
187
Taken more date nights then they did.
6/24/2015 8:15 AM
188
Nothing. My parents were learning just as much as we were...they did the best they could.
6/24/2015 7:48 AM
189
Homeschooled
6/24/2015 7:15 AM
190
Sent me to public school in each country.
6/24/2015 4:27 AM
191
Sought outside help from a counsellor for family/marriage problems. Talked more openly about failings, rather
than covering up and putting on a religious front.
6/24/2015 4:02 AM
192
Helped us learn how to say goodbye better.
6/24/2015 3:56 AM
193
took better care of me
6/24/2015 3:07 AM
194
Ask me more questions. I know I was young and maybe couldn't answer to their satisfaction, but they may have
found out more by my reactions to the questions and could have been able to relieve some of my fears.
6/24/2015 2:31 AM
195
Pray with me.
6/24/2015 1:50 AM
196
Nothing. They always included me in decisions. They rock.
6/24/2015 12:25 AM
197
My father felt that it was his duty to discipline us kids. So even when he was away on a month long trip, my
mother had to report our wrong doings and the we got disciplined weeks later. So we never really looked forward
to my father returning home...as it meant we'd be getting our spanking for who knows what.
6/24/2015 12:17 AM
90 / 157
SurveyMonkey
198
Stayed in the field a little longer.
6/24/2015 12:03 AM
199
Stayed in my passport country after I graduated grade 12.
6/23/2015 11:51 PM
200
I have none.
6/23/2015 11:27 PM
201
Received counselling to deal with their personal issues instead of causing years of home stress and strife.
6/23/2015 11:18 PM
202
Not isolate me from everyone who they thought wasn't good enough to be my friend (pretty much everyone I
found relatively interesting.)
6/23/2015 10:26 PM
203
Not sent me to boarsing school or taken me out when they realized hoe unhappy I was. This would most likely
have meant a major change in their ministry - at leasy for a gew years.
6/23/2015 10:24 PM
204
Nothing
6/23/2015 10:19 PM
205
Not cheated on each other
6/23/2015 9:56 PM
206
nothing; we were involved; they kept us with them
6/23/2015 9:33 PM
207
Been more open with me and asking more questions on how I was doing in my life and being able to feel safe to
share anything, even if it would have upset the perception that we were the perfect missionary family.
6/23/2015 9:33 PM
208
Made time
6/23/2015 9:19 PM
209
tell me how much they love me
6/23/2015 8:40 PM
210
Returned home when they had difficulties. Prepare me better for life and transition to the States.
6/23/2015 5:56 PM
211
Nothing
6/23/2015 4:03 PM
212
never chosen boarding school
6/23/2015 1:04 PM
213
that my parents had waited longer to retire so as to have them near my MK children.
6/23/2015 12:16 PM
214
If they could have worked out the timing of things differently so that I had more of a sense of permanence in a
single school or neighborhood growing up, that would have helped. The couple of moves we did were not in my
parents' plans but were due to their own work situation problems, so I don't blame them, I just know we would
have all been happier if settling down in one place had worked out.
6/23/2015 10:27 AM
215
Spent more time with me from the age of 6-17
6/22/2015 1:07 PM
216
Is not send me to boarding school. That was 23 years ago and since they lived in the village with an open door in
the yard and there was no concept of school hours. My friends constantly came by to get me to play.
Homeschooling wasn't working. After I lost it and became anger ( I had lost the native language over Furlough)
and no one could communicate with me, I was very angry with villagers. So my parents thought maybe boarding
school would give me a place to thrive with other MKs. I went to boarding school when I was 6 have am life-long
emotional scars from it for sure.
6/22/2015 9:57 AM
217
Taught me the local language
6/21/2015 2:33 AM
218
encouraged me to engage with my host culture more (I'm not bilingual!)
6/20/2015 11:44 PM
219
Sent me to college near family upon high school graduation.
6/20/2015 10:00 PM
220
I can't think of anything? My parents did their best and I grew up fine and strong ;-)
6/20/2015 1:39 PM
221
Allowed me to consider the option of attending college in the country I grew up in. It was always assumed I would
return to america for college, so I did not attend local schools for middle school and high school. Sometimes i
think I would be happier now if I had fully completed the local school system, attended college there and
continued to live there.
6/20/2015 12:41 PM
222
Not married each other. My father should never had had any kids because of his personal problems which in my
opinion is Asperger'syndrome.
6/20/2015 8:03 AM
223
Not been so demanding of needing to be "perfect"
6/20/2015 6:14 AM
224
Nothing, they were right were God had them.
6/19/2015 10:37 PM
225
I wish they had read the bible and prayed with us more as kids.
6/19/2015 9:49 PM
226
Cared for my mental health
6/19/2015 10:15 AM
91 / 157
SurveyMonkey
227
Can't thikn of any, sorry. (Other than very small things like "given me x for Christmas presend" etc.)
6/19/2015 9:42 AM
228
Give me opportunities to speak for myself, instead of answering for me
6/19/2015 9:37 AM
229
Nothing
6/19/2015 9:23 AM
230
Leave me less alone prior to going to the missionary field
6/19/2015 8:32 AM
231
I wish they would have had a form of accountability in their marriage and life in general. We worked
independently and their relationship and sometimes lack thereof was extremely detrimental to every aspect of our
lives. My dad never really wanted to be in Mongolia and my mom and us kids loved it there. I always though my
mom was running away from a lot of things, a lot of her past, things she regretted. So I wish they had been with
an organization that actually cared about the state of their marital life and the well being of our family.
6/19/2015 6:21 AM
232
not sent me to boarding school.
6/18/2015 8:51 PM
233
Listened, accepted, encouraged from a young age
6/18/2015 7:44 PM
234
Moving back to home country... There should have had some kind of training to adapt
6/18/2015 5:10 PM
235
accept us kids the way we were
6/18/2015 4:08 PM
236
Been more consistent with me and my siblings in such an inconsistent time.
6/18/2015 3:53 PM
237
Less pressure to be good little kids in public.
6/18/2015 3:49 PM
238
Allow me to stay in boarding school longer
6/18/2015 1:15 PM
239
I don't know. I'm grateful and happy with how my parents raised us, and I had a wonderful upbringing as an MK.
They did better than almost anyone else I know of.
6/18/2015 11:36 AM
240
not home schooled me
6/18/2015 11:12 AM
241
Nothing...I think they did the best with what was available at the time.
6/18/2015 10:32 AM
242
Understood that each of their children had different experiences.
6/18/2015 10:26 AM
243
Stayed in USA when I was 11. But that raises lots of questions you are very aware of, did not put it into words in
my mind until my 60's. It makes most sense to me to think of my life as a sacrifice offered for the Church in Africa.
That can be positive or negative depending on how one looks at it, and is one of many ambiguities. Steve Brown
says a defining characteristic of mature Christians is a high tolerance for ambiguity. Maybe MK's are especially
skilled at that, but the church by and large doesn't like it.
6/18/2015 9:52 AM
244
Invested emotionally into my upbringing, instead of worrying about the impressions of supporters
6/18/2015 9:18 AM
245
I've come to believe that missionary work in and of itself is oppressive and ethnocentric.
6/18/2015 8:48 AM
246
I wish dad didn't work such long hours and with so much stress on him
6/18/2015 8:16 AM
247
I wish they had been more understanding of who I am as an individual.
6/18/2015 7:18 AM
248
Created an environment in which we could express sadness
6/18/2015 5:31 AM
249
Tell the gardener to speak his own hilltribe language to us instead of the official local language.
6/18/2015 3:51 AM
250
Prepare me for the future
6/18/2015 2:19 AM
251
Teach us more of the foreign country's language
6/18/2015 2:04 AM
252
They did a great job!
6/18/2015 1:56 AM
253
homeschooling for my 1st year of elementary school
6/18/2015 1:26 AM
254
Take more holidays on the field to maintain health. Ask for help.
6/18/2015 12:28 AM
255
Allowed me to stay home (overseas) with them after I graduated. I wanted to stay for a year and 'experience' real
life where I considered home. To live with a national family in the countryside of Mongolia. Or see if I couldn't get
a job and just spend time with my friends.
6/17/2015 11:43 PM
256
Stand up for themselves when being maligned.
6/17/2015 11:37 PM
257
I wish they would have sent me to a local school (instead of international) for part of my early elementary years.
6/17/2015 10:40 PM
92 / 157
SurveyMonkey
258
trying to understand me and allowing me to maintain my TCK culture and not trying/forcing me to accept my
passport culture.
6/17/2015 10:38 PM
259
Had us talk more about our experiences, as we experienced them.
6/17/2015 10:38 PM
260
I don't blame them. They did the best they could.
6/17/2015 10:16 PM
261
Try and understand that the lack of strong friendships with kids my own age affected me more than what was
seen.
6/17/2015 9:04 PM
262
take time to ask and listen more often to how I was doing
6/17/2015 8:37 PM
263
i feel my parents did their best in the situation we found ourselves in
6/17/2015 7:12 PM
264
Been more accepting of my doubts and desires
6/17/2015 6:38 PM
265
Stayed longer.
6/17/2015 6:22 PM
266
maybe to have taken shorter but more frequent furloughs to better connect me with extended family and given
more experience/connection with my passport country.
6/17/2015 4:35 PM
267
I wish my Dad had spent one-on-one time with me
6/17/2015 4:12 PM
268
How to help me focus on and grow in my grasp of my true identity being as a daughter of God, not cultural or
outward appearance
6/17/2015 4:08 PM
269
Given me language lessons so I could really engage the culture
6/17/2015 3:57 PM
270
Had us learn the local language as part of our homeschooling.
6/17/2015 3:29 PM
271
Maybe not called everything 'home'. It just got confusing and frustrating. I don't really know what else they could
have called it, but I've come to hate calling anything 'home'.
6/17/2015 3:22 PM
272
left me alone more
6/17/2015 3:22 PM
273
Noticed me more and been more supportive.
6/16/2015 3:05 PM
274
Made us learn Nepali properly! Probably not easy to force kids to learn a language though...
6/16/2015 8:55 AM
275
N/a
6/16/2015 7:12 AM
276
Been less bitter at home about ministry, it's ok for it to be hard, but it would be nice if they moved to prayer more
and reconciliation, as a model to us kids.
6/16/2015 5:14 AM
277
Been less controling on my life once and allowed me some freedoms to make and learn from mistakes.
6/15/2015 10:22 PM
278
been more aware of what it meant to be a third culture kid
6/15/2015 9:42 PM
279
Connected more with relatives. They are all mostly strangers to me. There was no internet back then so if was
difficult.
6/15/2015 8:05 PM
280
fought the Missions requirement to send my siblings and I to boarding school in elementary school.
6/15/2015 3:37 PM
281
Less legalism
6/15/2015 12:52 PM
282
encouraged us to keep up with our learnt foreign language.
6/15/2015 8:21 AM
283
Had me take language classes for our host country.
6/15/2015 1:53 AM
284
None
6/14/2015 9:50 PM
285
been more understanding when they returned to the states when I was in HIgh School. I became very depressed
and struggled every day for years, but they just didn't understand at all how come it was so hard for me to "move
on"
6/14/2015 9:31 PM
286
Talk to us more about how life in the US might be different from what we knew growing up. We were raised as
Americans to return to America, but we never talked about what that meant for us.
6/14/2015 8:53 PM
287
Returned to the same place every furlough.
6/14/2015 6:17 PM
288
Get us more involved with local kids our age. We felt somewhat segregated and mostly hung out with local kids
at youth group and at church on Sunday...not nearly enough throughout the rest of the week.
6/14/2015 6:16 PM
93 / 157
SurveyMonkey
289
Taken actual furloughs.
6/14/2015 6:04 PM
290
not telling me problems they faced
6/14/2015 2:20 PM
291
spend more time with me
6/14/2015 1:03 PM
292
I was 9 when we returned but I wish we had stayed into my teen years
6/14/2015 10:29 AM
293
Stayed in the U.S.
6/14/2015 10:28 AM
294
When I was home from boarding school, for my parents to take some time to just be with me rather than for me
to join in the work.
6/14/2015 9:20 AM
295
Visit boarding school more often
6/14/2015 9:09 AM
296
Prioritize family
6/14/2015 8:33 AM
297
lived their faith more consistantly
6/14/2015 8:08 AM
298
They did a pretty great job with what they had control over.
6/14/2015 8:04 AM
299
Talked to me more about what being an MK, being a TCK meant. The journey of being a TCK began, but no real
explination of what that meant and healthy was to deal with everything was explained to me. I didn't fully realize
what a TCK was and that I was one until after I was in college, and had been a TCK for about 8 years.
6/14/2015 7:24 AM
300
I'd rather say - one thing I am REALLY glad my parents did well: They were very intentional about connecting us
to our North American extended family. They went out of their way to make sure we attended reunions, that we
got to know our cousins, uncles and aunts. It made coming back so much better.
6/13/2015 10:34 PM
301
Not gone back to the mission field a year after my mother passed away. There was no time to grieve.
6/13/2015 10:22 PM
302
Let me make more mistakes, let me experience the country/people/culture more fully and directly, rather than
through the missionary bubble.
6/13/2015 9:48 PM
303
Nothing comes to mind...I feel I had exceptionally nurturing parents
6/13/2015 9:17 PM
304
I don't have anything for my parents, because thy went through such a horribly hard time as well. Maybe of they
had anticipated it being hard for them as well it might have not hurt them as much
6/13/2015 6:55 PM
305
Clearly communicated to us we were as important as the ministry. I know (now) they felt that way but didn't
always believe this when younger
6/13/2015 6:41 PM
306
Gotten to know me as an individual and encouraged me in my areas of gifted ness.
6/13/2015 5:03 PM
307
stayed put in one spor linfer than a year.
6/13/2015 4:01 PM
308
Lived in more countries :P I loved the adventure.
6/13/2015 3:27 PM
309
Visit more often my boarding school
6/13/2015 3:07 PM
310
Let me be a kid instead of an ambassador
6/13/2015 2:19 PM
311
Nothing. They were great.
6/13/2015 12:38 PM
312
nothing
6/13/2015 12:01 PM
313
Come back for my college graduation
6/13/2015 11:59 AM
314
Put us in a local school
6/13/2015 11:58 AM
315
Encouraged me to learn the language so I would not feel like such an outsider.
6/13/2015 10:50 AM
316
Not to have immediately sent me to my passport country after graduation. I had no concept or attachment to this
country and would have preferred college in my foreign home. Looking back THAT transition made no sense and
was unnecessary. It was like being ejected from my life!
6/13/2015 10:48 AM
317
nothing, they really tried everything they could
6/13/2015 7:07 AM
318
nothing
6/12/2015 5:42 PM
319
I honestly cannot think of anything - the biggest trauma while growing up was the death of my mother which
resulted in us having to return to the US, and I would have rather stayed overseas.
6/12/2015 2:59 PM
94 / 157
SurveyMonkey
320
not sent me to boarding school in first grade (they had an assignment on campus for some other of my early
primary years)
6/12/2015 7:12 AM
321
Built stronger relationships with local families so could naturally have local friends.
6/12/2015 6:42 AM
322
Learned about my interests. They supported, but didn't dive in.
6/12/2015 4:11 AM
323
Not sure, looking back from an adult position I guess having lived closer to other missionary families where we
could have hung out more as fellow mk's
6/11/2015 11:37 PM
324
Allowing me to go to school instead of homeschooling me.
6/11/2015 10:43 PM
325
I would have liked to go to a Brazilian school instead of being homeschooled, but it was too expensive.
6/11/2015 10:42 PM
326
included us in the decision making process or at least prepared us a little more. I feel they just assumed because
we were young we wouldn't be as affected.
6/11/2015 9:27 PM
327
I can't think of anything
6/11/2015 8:41 PM
328
Not assumed all other Christian workers/missionaries were safe, healthy people.
6/11/2015 8:36 PM
329
Found more "friends" for my siblings and I to get to know in my passport country on home assignments.
6/11/2015 7:52 PM
330
Maybe a little less strict/ dogmatic at times
6/11/2015 4:07 PM
331
Nothing
6/11/2015 12:17 PM
332
sought ways to develop my interests
6/11/2015 11:24 AM
333
Include me more in the decisions after I went to university and kept up the communication.
6/11/2015 10:57 AM
334
Talked to me more about important things. Paid closer attention and discussed things that grew into big problems
as a teen and young adult instead of just letting me act like I was doing ok.
6/11/2015 9:25 AM
335
I think I was much too young (10) to go to boarding school. There must be another way to be a missionary and
not send your young children to boarding school. I had a bad experience and I truly believe this has affected me
personally in my relationships. I have discovered that I am very codependent and needy and at age 29 I am
finally dealing with the effects. I was very independent when I lived in the dorm and I never saw the dormparents
as people who cared for me or confidants in any way. I was there for four years and then at age 14 home on
furlough with my parents for a year. This was a very difficult year for me as far as father/daughter relationship
goes because all of a sudden my dad was 'back in charge' at a very critical age and I wasn't used to it or willing
to accept his authority. My relationship with my dad has gotten better over the years but it took a really long time.
6/11/2015 4:07 AM
336
Been more aware of what we were going through, been more intentional and proactive with key points in our
development.
6/10/2015 11:03 PM
337
Well honestly, for a very long time I thought that missionaries go to the field by choice but their kids do not so kids
should not be involved. I wish my parents did not have me as I was born and raised on the field until college and
then abandoned on my own not knowing a soul. I am trying to get past my many struggles and have a better
future for myself.
6/10/2015 10:11 PM
338
Nothing
6/10/2015 9:58 PM
339
nothing... their imperfections helped me grow as a person
6/10/2015 4:10 PM
340
Paid more attention to my needs
6/10/2015 4:08 PM
341
Not be missionaries
6/10/2015 3:09 PM
342
I wish they'd been a bit more understanding when we made our first international move. They always told me that
as the eldest I had to take care of my siblings because the move was hard on them, but it always felt like they
never really thought about how hard the move was on me.
6/10/2015 2:44 PM
343
engage in what we were thinking as we got older, without being threatened
6/10/2015 2:11 PM
344
Been ok with me being gay.
6/10/2015 12:56 PM
345
Gotten more counseling. They were in some pretty bad relational and organizational situations, and it filtered
down to affect how they viewed the world, how they treated each other, and how stress affected the home. I wish
they had recognized and been encouraged to get counseling along the way, instead of after they were burnt out.
6/10/2015 12:53 PM
346
Business sense. We never discussed how to handle money
6/10/2015 12:28 PM
95 / 157
SurveyMonkey
347
Somehow made it more of a priority to engage us in speaking the local languages of the countries we lived in
6/10/2015 12:26 PM
348
Nothing. They acted in obedience and faithfulness to God when they sent me to boarding school at the age of 6. I
used to wish that things had been different, but now I wouldn't change a thing.
6/10/2015 12:12 PM
349
Been more willing to show weakness
6/10/2015 11:52 AM
350
Prepared me more before we left to the field. It would have helped with the change.
6/10/2015 11:46 AM
351
understood more in depth of our emotional struggles..
6/10/2015 11:43 AM
352
provided emotional support during difficult adjustment to life back in the US
6/10/2015 11:40 AM
353
I honestly can't think of anything at this point. I think they did the best they could.
6/10/2015 11:36 AM
354
nothing
6/10/2015 10:51 AM
355
Made us feel okay that it was okay not to like the US
6/10/2015 10:23 AM
356
While I was going through it, I thought my parents' choice about doing a year long furlough every four years (as
opposed to a summer every two years) was so cruel. Looking back, those furloughs (however awful and hard
they were) served an important purpose so it's hard for me to say now that I wish they had made a different
choice. The ONE thing that I wish they had done differently happened at the end of my sophomore year at BFA.
We were going on furlough my junior year, and instead of flying out over the summer, they pulled me out of
school a week early so they could SAVE MONEY on airline tickets. If they had thought to consider my feelings
and how that would affect me, maybe they wouldn't have done it. I still feel tearful remembering that. They knew I
didn't want to leave school, they knew I didn't want to go on furlough, and they did it anyway! I've forgiven them,
but it still hurts. In this instance they put their bank account over my well-being.
6/10/2015 10:09 AM
357
having discussions
6/10/2015 8:34 AM
358
Insisted on language-learning
6/10/2015 8:23 AM
359
Wish my father would have written us letters and expressed his love and not just my mom.
6/10/2015 8:11 AM
360
Learn about MKs so they could help me.
6/10/2015 7:56 AM
361
Dad would have listened more "hearingly" and made family only times-- this was later in my life. Mother listened
and communicated but died young.
6/10/2015 7:34 AM
362
cared more
6/10/2015 7:12 AM
363
Taken more family time away from our ministry area. They were very good at making time to spend as a family,
but we didn't get away that often. I think that would've been good for all of us.
6/10/2015 6:46 AM
364
Nothing
6/10/2015 6:30 AM
365
More frequent and shorter furloughs in younger years
6/10/2015 4:26 AM
366
Let me stay home my senior year of high school instead of sending me to the US and having to live with people I
didn't know
6/10/2015 3:48 AM
367
Nope
6/10/2015 3:35 AM
368
I can't think of anything. I'm sure there are some things I wish they had done differently, I simply can't think of any.
6/10/2015 3:25 AM
369
understand that I don't feel American the way that they do.
6/10/2015 3:21 AM
370
I wish they had been able to afford to come see us more frequently when we were in boarding.
6/10/2015 2:32 AM
371
Teach us more about their Home cultures (my parents come from different countries)
6/10/2015 2:04 AM
372
Spend more time with me. Made me feel like I mattered.
6/10/2015 1:38 AM
373
Nothing
6/10/2015 1:20 AM
374
Nothing comes to mind, my experiences have shaped me into who I am today and I wouldn't want to change
that.yes some where hard but they helped create character and dependence on God
6/10/2015 1:17 AM
375
We didn't have a lot of family discussions about life on the mission field and how that affected all of us. We don't
have that kind of deep conversation often and it might have been nice. But all in all, they did a great job. I'm proud
of them for the work they did and I don't think they messed up their kids by going on the mission field.
6/10/2015 12:11 AM
96 / 157
SurveyMonkey
376
not allowed boarding school
6/10/2015 12:10 AM
377
Had a healthy marriage
6/10/2015 12:05 AM
378
Not sure this is fair to the options they had, but I wish I'd been with them the whole time.
6/9/2015 11:36 PM
379
Raised me in a mono-cultural setting
6/9/2015 11:09 PM
380
I don't wish that my parents had done anything differently.
6/9/2015 11:03 PM
381
taken more family time when I was a child.
6/9/2015 10:54 PM
382
Nothing, my parents belived in me and were great
6/9/2015 10:32 PM
383
stayed long enough in countries for me to learn the languages fluently.
6/9/2015 10:25 PM
384
Shared more about their growing up years. Being at boarding school I missed out on the tiny getting-to-know-you
details of year-round living together.
6/9/2015 10:22 PM
385
No boarding school, until no other options existed.
6/9/2015 10:16 PM
386
Help me know God more and not assume that I understood because they were talking about it with others so
much.
6/9/2015 9:57 PM
387
Had stronger relationships with their brothers/sisters & we could have had an easier time integrating with
cousins/family first before acclimating to the entire culture.
6/9/2015 9:53 PM
388
Nothing really.
6/9/2015 9:49 PM
389
Pay closer attention to our education
6/9/2015 9:48 PM
390
Talked to me. Expressed their love, their fears, their hopes and LISTENED to me when I tried to explain what I
was going through. I wish they had insisted on having sit down meetings with me and the dorm parents so that I
felt safer and cared for.
6/9/2015 9:46 PM
391
Made me learn music
6/9/2015 9:35 PM
392
Care about detail, care about small things.
6/9/2015 9:32 PM
393
Talked me through the emotions of being an MK
6/9/2015 9:20 PM
394
Spent money more willingly. They had enough, but they were afraid to spend it.
6/9/2015 9:11 PM
395
Been more involved in my life (mainly my dad)
6/9/2015 8:54 PM
396
My dad to focus on us kids. He focused on other people's kids. I finally learned to excel at his stuff so we could
do things together.
6/9/2015 8:48 PM
397
Allowed us to have more interactions with people of our passport country that lived in the same region as we
even though our beliefs and convictions might not all be the same.
6/9/2015 8:46 PM
398
Not been so workaholic
6/9/2015 8:44 PM
399
Teach me to drive better before leaving me in the states with a car.
6/9/2015 8:41 PM
400
My parents handled things differently than many of the other families on our field. The older I get, the more
thankful I am that my mom stuck to her guns and my father caved to her wisdom. I really can't think of something I
wished they'd handled differently in regards to preparing us to handle life as grown up mk's.
6/9/2015 8:38 PM
401
Worked less. Seen the value of "being" with the family and the world around.
6/9/2015 8:35 PM
402
nothing
6/9/2015 8:31 PM
403
Be more involved in my upbringing
6/9/2015 8:25 PM
404
Cared about understanding the impact their decision to be missionaries had on me and my siblings, in an
emotional and cultural sense.
6/9/2015 8:19 PM
405
investigated the boarding school, but they would not have found the truth any way.
6/9/2015 8:13 PM
406
helped me say goodbye properly instead of ignoring loss.
6/9/2015 8:07 PM
97 / 157
SurveyMonkey
407
allowed me to not 'be on' when visiting churches for support; allowing us to just be and not feel the pressure of
being 'on stage'
6/9/2015 7:53 PM
408
Theyre trying harder to get t know me now. Maybe if they tried earlier
6/9/2015 7:53 PM
409
Furlough in the summer only. I attended 9 different schools by 10th grade and that doesn't include how many
times I switched schools.
6/9/2015 7:50 PM
410
Given me a support system before leaving me in the States for college at 17 yrs old
6/9/2015 7:36 PM
411
Take some time off to teach at a University to reduce the cost of their children's tuition.
6/9/2015 7:34 PM
412
I'm happy with the way my parents raised me
6/9/2015 7:17 PM
413
More time with us kids.
6/9/2015 7:06 PM
414
Made us kids more of a priority rather than putting their ministry first most of the times
6/9/2015 7:03 PM
415
I hated going on furlough. I don't think it helped me adjust to the states and wanted to stay in my foreign country
6/9/2015 6:53 PM
416
Made grieving and talking about feelings feel more normal and natural
6/9/2015 6:52 PM
417
My folks were great! They visited me every time they could at boarding school. At home time, my folks made me
feel important and listened to me. My mom was an MK, that might have made a difference
6/9/2015 6:44 PM
418
I honestly can't think of anything
6/9/2015 6:41 PM
419
Had the same expectations for all of us
6/9/2015 6:36 PM
420
They were not allowed (by the staff) to spend time at the school while we were in school. They were only allowed
to come on weekends and then they had to take us out of the dorm and into town for the weekend. I wish they
had been able to stay at school and see what my life was like and experience it with me.
6/9/2015 6:35 PM
421
Accept me for being me & make an effort to actually have a relationship with me.
6/9/2015 6:28 PM
422
At times put us kids as more important than ministry
6/9/2015 6:24 PM
423
I wish they hadn't put so much pressure on me to be so perfect.
6/9/2015 6:19 PM
424
Take into account that I didn't choose to be in the field
6/9/2015 6:01 PM
425
express their deep sorrow in sending me off to school and not just use the spiritual phrase about God helps them
6/9/2015 5:53 PM
426
listened to us more than to their peers about our experience (they learned to do this later)
6/9/2015 5:52 PM
427
Understood my brother's mental/emotional instability better and found ways to help him, professionally or
otherwise.
6/9/2015 5:48 PM
428
Sent me to Boarding school sooner.
6/9/2015 5:48 PM
429
I'm not sure
6/9/2015 5:48 PM
430
I think they did a good job raising us.
6/9/2015 5:47 PM
431
Been concerned more about our personal spirituality/emotions than how we were perceived by the public.
6/9/2015 5:39 PM
432
Talked to us more - showed interest in our feelings, questions and needs
6/9/2015 5:37 PM
433
Perhaps more counseling, preparing
6/9/2015 5:33 PM
434
Not sent me home early without them
6/9/2015 5:28 PM
435
been more caring to their children.
6/9/2015 5:26 PM
436
Not sent me to boarding school.
6/9/2015 5:26 PM
437
Nothing. My parents had a vital love relationship with each other and the Lord
6/9/2015 5:25 PM
438
Less zeal on the notion of God's "leadership"
6/9/2015 5:21 PM
439
I don't know, I think my parents did the best they could to make it a well rounded experience and take our
thoughts into account.
6/9/2015 5:10 PM
440
They didn't have MK-related resources at the time, so they did the best they could.
6/9/2015 4:59 PM
98 / 157
SurveyMonkey
441
Taught and practiced better communication skills within our immediate family and with extended family in the US.
6/9/2015 4:58 PM
442
Keep me in one school system (American or Argentine but not going back and forth)
6/9/2015 4:56 PM
443
Not had children
6/9/2015 4:55 PM
444
There are things...but unrelated to the MK thing.
6/9/2015 4:45 PM
445
Asked more questions to figure out why I had changed to much and wanted to hear the answer.
6/9/2015 4:44 PM
446
As a family of internal processes I wish my parents had provided outlets for me to express myself when things
happened on the field.
6/9/2015 4:40 PM
447
explained the Bible and the gospel to as a whole instead of just assuming that it was addresses at school.
6/9/2015 4:38 PM
448
Nothing
6/9/2015 4:38 PM
449
nothing - I enjoyed my experiences
6/9/2015 4:37 PM
450
been more strict - I remember seeing friends with rules and chores and order, but I grew up with freedom
(brilliant!) but a lack of structure, which I then had to independentely create and was very difficult to maintain.
6/9/2015 4:34 PM
451
N/A
6/9/2015 4:32 PM
452
Let us grieve
6/9/2015 4:32 PM
453
Not encouraged me to return to my passport country for university
6/9/2015 4:30 PM
454
We returned to the US for furlough when I was 13 and we never returned, it was a very hard adjustment. I wish
that they had of included us in the decision.
6/9/2015 4:26 PM
455
called me weekly.
6/9/2015 4:25 PM
456
N/A
6/9/2015 4:23 PM
457
There is nothing I wish they had done differently.
6/9/2015 4:22 PM
458
addressed feelings before, during and after transitions between countries
6/9/2015 4:22 PM
459
Expose us to secularity
6/9/2015 4:21 PM
460
Not sent me to boarding school
6/9/2015 4:15 PM
461
Give us more input into how we participated in deputation
6/9/2015 4:08 PM
462
nothing.....seriously
6/9/2015 4:08 PM
463
I am not sure on this. My parents did a great job with making quality time together a priority. That, I think was
huge. One thing they could have done differently is not talked so openly about the stress of money or lack of it. I
think it helped me for my adult life be conciencious about it, but I struggle with guilt of spending and did in their
home as well
6/9/2015 4:07 PM
464
Talking earlier to me about our time on the field when I was a teenager
6/9/2015 3:55 PM
465
No regrets. we lived and seized moments.
6/9/2015 3:44 PM
466
Nothing. They did what they Thot was Gods will and I was part of that greater purpose
6/9/2015 3:41 PM
467
Make me be more sociable after we moved and were in transition.
6/9/2015 3:17 PM
468
Prioritized their kids within the context of their calling
6/9/2015 3:14 PM
469
Talked and actually listened to what was important to me growing up
6/9/2015 3:09 PM
470
Pursued a MK reentry program
6/9/2015 2:33 PM
471
Talked to us more about being a TCK so that we were better prepared.
6/9/2015 2:32 PM
472
I wish they would have researched the whole topic of what it means to be an MKso that they could have helped
us through MK-specific issues.
6/9/2015 2:15 PM
473
Known about TCKs and gotten our family help when we returned to the US from France
6/9/2015 2:04 PM
474
I think they did an amazing job with us kids.
6/9/2015 1:58 PM
99 / 157
SurveyMonkey
475
Consulted me EVERY YEAR about things at the boarding school, not just after the first year. And even that first
consultation was badly done. Dad told my sister and me that we might have to leave boarding school before they
might not be able to afford it. It was a lie, though his motive was good: he was trying to gauge our feelings about
school. I was ten, and cried, probably because of the upheaval in my life, and the unknown, that his statement
evoked. His concluded that I would be very unhappy to leave the boarding school, and did not ask again for about
four years.
6/9/2015 1:55 PM
476
I dont know of one
6/9/2015 1:30 PM
477
maybe sheltered me a little bit less? I don't know, I think they did a pretty good job.
6/9/2015 1:13 PM
478
Protected me
6/9/2015 12:49 PM
479
hadn't called passport country "home"
6/9/2015 12:42 PM
480
I wish they had forced/encouraged me to learn the language of our host country. I deeply regret the waisted
opportunity- both in not fully experiencing Germany at the time, and not being able to communicate in German
now. BFA just made it so easy to not have to engage in that way.
6/9/2015 12:33 PM
481
have a better relationship with each other. They did not prioritize each other and their bad, at times abusive
relationship has continued to affect me.
6/9/2015 12:30 PM
482
Not made such a 'hard' transition to our new passport country. From very sheltered MK environment, we went
school in a very rough area. My school was burnt down my kids after being there a week and my teacher was
knocked out within a few days by a kid in front of my class. It was too extreme a change.
6/9/2015 12:23 PM
483
somehow had better communication while I was away from home... I felt out there on my own, required to be
completely independent and resourceful and resilient as a 13-year old. Letters sometimes took months, and that
was all there was.
6/9/2015 12:09 PM
484
let me attend public school in 11th grade on furlough instead of going to a private school
6/9/2015 12:09 PM
485
Provide more support in terms of lack of strong friendships while in high school.
6/9/2015 12:06 PM
486
Relaxed and respected more
6/9/2015 11:38 AM
487
follow through on decisions
6/9/2015 11:33 AM
488
prepared us better for furlough
6/9/2015 11:24 AM
489
sought psychological care
6/9/2015 10:38 AM
490
focused on my younger siblings' transitions as much as they focused on mine. They didn't because, after all, they
had family around.
6/9/2015 10:32 AM
491
understood how i felt.
6/9/2015 10:07 AM
492
Not try to have the other one murdered and get us kicked out of the field.
6/9/2015 10:00 AM
493
Come with me when I came to the U.S. for college
6/9/2015 9:34 AM
494
Prioritized. For the most part I was not neglected but occasionally I felt I came second "to the ministry"
6/9/2015 9:34 AM
495
I wish they had been open about their feelings when I went to boarding school. Both I and my parents chose to
"be brave" and not show any emotion. A good cry when we said good-bye would have made boarding school
more bearable.
6/9/2015 9:31 AM
496
That I went to a re-entry retreat when coming back to NA
6/9/2015 9:28 AM
497
Switched missions when they weren't being treated well
6/9/2015 9:17 AM
498
worked on their relationship with each other
6/9/2015 8:58 AM
499
teach me another language
6/9/2015 8:47 AM
500
Had more resources on how to talk to us about transition and help us prep for it.
6/9/2015 8:23 AM
501
To not hold us to higher expectations for appearance's sake
6/9/2015 6:43 AM
502
Given me more "guidance" integrating into their home culture
6/9/2015 5:14 AM
100 / 157
SurveyMonkey
503
I don't like following "what-if" routes. What happened, happened. We've all grown from that, and who I am is a
result of many decisions my parents made, both good and bad (but mainly good). But I also had the responsibility
to react and to react well, and to curb any bitterness - mainly through asking God. And nod when I look back,
there's nothing I wish my parents had done diffdreei
6/9/2015 3:15 AM
504
Less pressure to be like them
6/9/2015 2:49 AM
505
Talk to me more about issues so that they wouldn't be so much of a surprise
6/9/2015 2:34 AM
506
I wish they didn't treat us like we were extra special people.
6/9/2015 1:50 AM
507
Not much. I feel they did as well or better than most monocultural parents
6/9/2015 12:43 AM
508
Teach me financial principles for life outside missions
6/9/2015 12:21 AM
509
Talk with us about differences we would encounter in visiting/moving to our passport culture.
6/8/2015 11:41 PM
510
encouraged greater involvement with the nationals
6/8/2015 11:10 PM
511
I wish my dad had realized I'm a different person than him, and hadn't valued my impact on his reputation above
my own value.
6/8/2015 10:50 PM
512
Prepared me more for college. I was thrust into the adult world on my own in a new country, the U.S., and they
stayed back in Europe. I had no idea how to handle adult situations, and they were so far away and more
concerned with their life there. I have received no financial help from them, unlike most other college students my
age. I can't call them whenever I need to to ask a question about medical bills or filling out tax forms or any other
adult reality. I have felt very neglected and alone ever since I came to the U.S. For college and they stayed in
Europe.
6/8/2015 10:49 PM
513
Nothing. I had a wonderful MK experience.
6/8/2015 10:41 PM
514
Get to know their kids a bit better. And let their kids know them a bit better. It would be easier to accept their
ministry if it wasn't forced upon me, with no explanations. It would be easier to leave if I knew how much my
parents enjoyed the life they had chosen- and why they insisted on choosing it before my siblings. I wish our life
hadn't been lived for public benefit, but for our benefit. If our fights had been settled, rather than avoided for the
sake of people who couldn't care less about us. I wish I had an authentic relationship with honestly possible both
ways with my parents. As an adult, now everyone insists on lying and shoving away our problems. I want a real
family- not a perfect one.
6/8/2015 10:25 PM
515
Better transition to letting us have responsibility in high school and relating to us as adults
6/8/2015 10:14 PM
516
Gotten mental health help much earlier than they did. Being missionaries interfered with this in at least two ways:
heightened stigma in the missionary community and non-availability of help in the countries we were in.
6/8/2015 10:12 PM
517
In their attempt to be obedient they became good soldiers and i wish they would have been more aware of their
feelings. I even can see how they grew in this area, but it was baby steps for what we needed.
6/8/2015 10:06 PM
518
Visited me more often at BFA. Not once did I feel neglected, however, I wish we had more shared experiences in
that space.
6/8/2015 10:03 PM
519
I wish they had helped my brother and me process all of our moves. We always had to treat them as adventures
and were not given space to grieve.
6/8/2015 10:02 PM
520
Make more of an effort to understand me
6/8/2015 9:54 PM
521
keep up with language and educational issues during furloughs to make a smoother re-entry back to our host
country
6/8/2015 9:40 PM
522
Tell me a little more about US culture/holidays. I was clueless when I arrived for college.
6/8/2015 9:14 PM
523
Let the mission field before they burnt out.
6/8/2015 8:59 PM
524
they hadn't been so critical of the dorm staff
6/8/2015 8:56 PM
525
maybe visited me more.
6/8/2015 8:54 PM
526
Taking responsibility for making us move constantly rather than blame it on "God's will"
6/8/2015 8:54 PM
527
sent me to an American school
6/8/2015 8:51 PM
528
Left the field when they knew I was being deeply affected by the verbal abuse I was experiencing in school.
6/8/2015 8:50 PM
101 / 157
SurveyMonkey
529
None
6/8/2015 8:46 PM
530
been more open about who I chose to have a long term relationship with and eventually marry
6/8/2015 8:41 PM
531
Honestly-- not much. Maybe made sure that all three of us kids could have gone to boarding school at the same
time?
6/8/2015 8:26 PM
532
Found ways for me to spend time with other MKs
6/8/2015 8:24 PM
533
Exposed me too more of American culture. They were simply so removed from it that they didn't really know
much of anything about it.
6/8/2015 8:20 PM
534
been more present - I mostly appreciated the hands-off parenting style, and it's made me independent, but
sometimes I wonder.
6/8/2015 8:19 PM
535
I wish my parents had invested more into their marriage. I believe their poor choices as a couple spilled into their
parenting style and ultimately how they represented God.
6/8/2015 8:12 PM
536
I don't wish they had done anything differently.
6/8/2015 8:07 PM
537
I personally feel they did everything right!
6/8/2015 8:07 PM
538
Nothing. They were great.
6/8/2015 7:54 PM
539
talked about their problems and not had it and the mission tear them apart
6/8/2015 7:53 PM
540
Help me transition into U.S. Culture better, taking the time needed
6/8/2015 7:46 PM
541
Given me opportunity to interact with more peers
6/8/2015 7:46 PM
542
Found ways to prepare me for my return to their passport country. I didn't expect to feel as different and lost as I
did.
6/8/2015 7:45 PM
543
Allowed me to stay at boarding school when they came to the States for a year of home ministry assignment in
11th grade.
6/8/2015 7:43 PM
544
Nothing
6/8/2015 7:42 PM
545
Not be so intense with me.
6/8/2015 7:42 PM
546
I wish my mother had not tried to conform me to her image.
6/8/2015 7:41 PM
547
Asked me what I thought about things
6/8/2015 7:41 PM
548
No idea. They did a pretty good job of raising, educating, and being open with us. We talked about everything
(theology, ministry, culture, church problems, decisions), and that open communication/dialogue was vital to our
perspective as mks.
6/8/2015 7:31 PM
549
Talk about their own personal walks with God, what they learned and what he was revealing to them. To talk
about their weaknesses openly and their sin, confession. Would allowd me the freedom to talk about mine and not
feel I had to hide.
6/8/2015 7:25 PM
550
Waited to send me to boarding school until I was older, or until I could go with my brother.
6/8/2015 7:24 PM
551
I just don't know
6/8/2015 7:21 PM
552
live in the same city where my boarding school was so that we could have had a home life during high school.
6/8/2015 7:10 PM
553
forced me to learn the languages of the countries we lived in
6/8/2015 7:04 PM
554
Be more understanding of my struggle when visiting them in their host country.
6/8/2015 7:03 PM
102 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q28 The one thing I wish Id understood

better about myself as an MK is:
Answered: 511
Skipped: 232
Responses
Date
??
6/27/2015 10:33 AM
I am different, but there are people who care
6/27/2015 9:40 AM
That there is such a drastic change between the two worlds I was raised in. I wish I'd understood that and been
counseled how to handle life back in the passport country after four years on the mission field.
6/27/2015 8:56 AM
I didn't realize I had unusual experiences until I was in my teens
6/27/2015 5:47 AM
Nothing I can think of.
6/27/2015 5:40 AM
Nothing.
6/27/2015 3:02 AM
My thought process.
6/27/2015 2:48 AM
How I can overcome this feeling of only wanting surface level relationships.
6/27/2015 2:38 AM
how to build relationships
6/27/2015 2:14 AM
10
To embrace my differences from those around me and not shun myself for not fitting in.
6/27/2015 2:04 AM
11
It's harder to visit "home" when you're on your own
6/27/2015 1:21 AM
12
sense of belonging and finding place I can call "home"
6/27/2015 12:40 AM
13
Why do I not have somewhere to call home?
6/27/2015 12:19 AM
14
NA
6/27/2015 12:10 AM
15
That it's okay to be different
6/27/2015 12:07 AM
16
That leaving is a grieving process
6/26/2015 11:54 PM
17
I wish I understood that it was ok to accept the cultures I was in and to make them my own. I thought being
European was bad because my whole family was American so I had to be American. I wish I had embraced my
uniqueness better.
6/26/2015 11:49 PM
18
you only grow up one way, there's no need to compare
6/26/2015 11:27 PM
19
that it was OK to spend a little money on the right outfit!
6/26/2015 11:24 PM
20
I'm a better Christian because of it.
6/26/2015 10:52 PM
21
How deeply my mentality regarding relaionships would affect me when I came back to the USA
6/26/2015 10:49 PM
22
How to handle the lack of rootedness.
6/26/2015 10:42 PM
23
My need to be accepted and part of the crowd after I returned to US.
6/26/2015 10:33 PM
24
...that I would go through the stages of reentry and that those stages are a process, it's okay to get over it and
move on.
6/26/2015 10:30 PM
25
that being a christian wasn't just a way of life and traditions
6/26/2015 10:20 PM
26
Everyone feels insecure and out-of-place at times!
6/26/2015 10:20 PM
27
I did the very best I could, and I was a little girl. Would I hold any other child the age I was so the standards I held
myself to? No way! I have to be kind to myself.
6/26/2015 10:19 PM
28
That fitting in was never going to happen, letting go of that would have helped me great deal.
6/26/2015 10:12 PM
29
What I struggle with is normal for anyone who has been through what I have
6/26/2015 10:08 PM
103 / 157
SurveyMonkey
30
Why I was tiring so hard to fit in and be liked.
6/26/2015 10:03 PM
31
Insecurity
6/26/2015 8:53 PM
32
returning to the US will be harder than you think
6/26/2015 7:10 PM
33
Self-confidence / self-reliance
6/26/2015 6:53 PM
34
I wish I would have realized sooner that many of the challenges ice had relating to others,especially men,
stemmed from my experiences as an MK rather than something that was wrong with me.
6/26/2015 6:10 PM
35
That just because I spent my whole childhood doing service with my parents didn't mean I was excused from
serving when i got back to America. And that being a missionary doesn't mean you can be perfect, we're all in
need of a savior and I can't rely on myself for everything.
6/26/2015 6:05 PM
36
Living in an 'in between' culture where you're not fully belonging to either place, I'd like to have become more
engrained in the real culture of the country I grew up in
6/26/2015 5:31 PM
37
I have a different world view, a different way of relating and even though I may not know the current pop starts or
shows doesn't mean a thing in the grand scheme of life.
6/26/2015 4:57 PM
38
the many different ways to fulfill your dreams outside of church life
6/26/2015 3:57 PM
39
Identity is made up of so much more than passport, culture and country .
6/26/2015 2:40 PM
40
Raising support lead to me seeing people as means to an end.
6/26/2015 1:24 PM
41
That bullying was not acceptable.
6/26/2015 12:02 PM
42
Was that it's okay to be "different".
6/26/2015 10:19 AM
43
I'm not perfect and I can't earn my salvation through works
6/26/2015 9:45 AM
44
Nothing really. My last years as an MK I really realized how great it was to being there and have such great
experiences.
6/26/2015 9:34 AM
45
That I was OK.
6/26/2015 8:44 AM
46
how to handle restlessness and have a good marriage. how to settle down.
6/26/2015 8:37 AM
47
Are some things in my life because of my MK past or because of my personality
6/26/2015 6:58 AM
48
that I wasn't better than anyone else--whether in Japan or on furlough.
6/26/2015 6:47 AM
49
Am I really that much different from those around me
6/26/2015 6:45 AM
50
What parts of me are just my personality and family background, and what parts of me are because I am an MK
(although these things may be too intertwined for it to matter!) Also, when do I need to change who I am to fit in,
and when do I just need to embrace who I am even if I don't fit in, or how to find a healthy balance.
6/26/2015 5:35 AM
51
Lasting friendships
6/26/2015 4:31 AM
52
my value
6/26/2015 3:59 AM
53
How hard it is to build lasting relationships
6/26/2015 2:53 AM
54
How to be okay with being different
6/26/2015 2:24 AM
55
It is ok to be different.
6/26/2015 2:11 AM
56
you will eventually feel normal.
6/26/2015 2:04 AM
57
Everyone struggles with identity issues that only a deep relationship with the Lird can solve
6/26/2015 1:46 AM
58
That I would experience more loss than the avarage person my age
6/26/2015 1:41 AM
59
I wish that I'd had better self-esteem
6/26/2015 1:18 AM
60
How big of a part of me it is......and not shove it down deep as an adult.
6/26/2015 12:02 AM
61
God controls my personality & who/how I am -- not the country I grew up in.
6/25/2015 11:53 PM
62
How this would affect as an adult.
6/25/2015 11:47 PM
104 / 157
SurveyMonkey
63
Being an MK doesn't define your experience overseas, family dynamics create a whole other sub-culture that can
be powerful (negative or positive)
6/25/2015 11:39 PM
64
Accept it and tell more people about my life overseas when I was in college.
6/25/2015 11:22 PM
65
Who I am in Christ and what being an MK does not mean - it does not mean I am nothing without it, I am better
or worse than others, it does not mean I am forced to choose a culture.
6/25/2015 11:12 PM
66
I was experiencing normal culture shocks
6/25/2015 10:53 PM
67
everyone has pain, MK or not. Just different pain
6/25/2015 10:46 PM
68
those would be the best days of my life
6/25/2015 10:39 PM
69
Not everyone is nice.
6/25/2015 10:32 PM
70
I'm not special as everyone has a story.
6/25/2015 10:14 PM
71
I accepted the living-in-a-bubble thing but never fully realized its extent until I tried to put a relationship formed in
its context to the test of living outside the bubble. That crashed & burned, call off the search party - no survivors...
6/25/2015 9:53 PM
72
Why I don't make friends more easily.
6/25/2015 9:31 PM
73
How to put down roots
6/25/2015 9:29 PM
74
belonging somewhere is good. Riding on the fringe to stay protected from having to leave or be left is what made
it worse and caused regret.
6/25/2015 9:17 PM
75
That I was not odd
6/25/2015 9:06 PM
76
High school is a relatively small portion of your life and just get through it.
6/25/2015 8:42 PM
77
it wasn't my fault that my parents sent me away
6/25/2015 8:36 PM
78
I would get back home some day.
6/25/2015 8:31 PM
79
Again, no wishes - I was very self aware
6/25/2015 8:19 PM
80
I am not above others who have not gone overseas no matter how much people tried to tell me this.
6/25/2015 8:14 PM
81
How to find other MK's sooner- before Facebook.
6/25/2015 8:13 PM
82
That it is very different from how most people are raised.
6/25/2015 8:08 PM
83
That it would be hard to get close to non m.k.'s who don't have any way of understanding the m.k. life.
6/25/2015 7:59 PM
84
why I can't stay connected to some people who were very important to me, but I walked away.
6/25/2015 7:45 PM
85
That being an MK was the best thing that ever happened to me
6/25/2015 7:44 PM
86
I was good enough as is.
6/25/2015 7:44 PM
87
God wasn't punishing me when Our orphan baby died.
6/25/2015 7:33 PM
88
Finding God will take forever!
6/25/2015 7:31 PM
89
The awesome privilege I had to grow up in another country and be able to speak another language.
6/25/2015 7:21 PM
90
That it's okay to not fit in with other MKs...
6/25/2015 7:15 PM
91
that the MK feelings aren't something you outgrow. I am now 60 and the longing and fond memory feelings are
strong, as well as my feelings of awkwardness at times to feel at home here.
6/25/2015 7:07 PM
92
Is how failing to develop many deep relationships would follow/haunt me in my adulthood
6/25/2015 6:53 PM
93
How to relate with non MKs / mono cultural friends
6/25/2015 6:48 PM
94
How it affects making friends
6/25/2015 6:48 PM
95
Practical steps on how to slowly form new friendships once back in my passport country.
6/25/2015 6:47 PM
96
That I could be me and not have to predispose myself to the notion that I was an MK and all that being an MK
stood for or what others thought it should stand for
6/25/2015 5:55 PM
105 / 157
SurveyMonkey
97
The normal emotional reactions and how to deal with thrm
6/25/2015 4:07 PM
98
I never thought about how my life was different because I was an MK
6/25/2015 3:59 PM
99
the unique opportunity I had
6/25/2015 2:41 PM
100
Nothing
6/25/2015 2:19 PM
101
That I am not as strange/weird as I thought I was inside each culture.
6/25/2015 1:52 PM
102
Sometimes it is terrible and awesome at the same time, and it doesn't make sense, and there's no answer as to
why it is that way. It just is. I don't have to hTe my life and I don't have to say it was better than monocultural
people's--it doesn't have to be anything clear or definite. It was a lot of things, it was complicated, and that's just
the way it is.
6/25/2015 1:25 PM
103
It was all part of God's perfect plan for my life
6/25/2015 12:29 PM
104
Goodbyes would never get easier, but instead harder
6/25/2015 12:10 PM
105
that i am unique and that is okay. i have good qualities and bad but i can accept myself how i am.
6/25/2015 12:03 PM
106
That there more people like me than I realized.
6/25/2015 10:58 AM
107
Jesus loves me and I don't have to beg for forgiveness.
6/25/2015 10:47 AM
108
Struggles with faith are OK....
6/25/2015 10:18 AM
109
The advantages of perspective
6/25/2015 10:10 AM
110
How that part of my life experience has shaped me and affects me still.
6/25/2015 9:55 AM
111
again, difficult to answer... I knew i was an mk, and that my life was different from thosr in my pasdport country,
but i had so many friends like me, we talked about the differences and adapted whole in our passport country. I
had siblings, parents, and many friends to talk about life with, and our lives wete rich.
6/25/2015 9:24 AM
112
The difference between my opportunity and my non-mk peers.
6/25/2015 8:03 AM
113
It's ok to be me. Different is good, not bad, so long as I can communicate with and thrive in my surrounding
culture.
6/25/2015 7:53 AM
114
how trauma had affected me
6/25/2015 7:41 AM
115
I have a lot of offer people in the states due to my experiences
6/25/2015 7:12 AM
116
Maybe I should have talked more of my traumatic fears after spending a time in a military country. The fears
affacted my life later on in some ways for some years.
6/25/2015 6:26 AM
117
It's okay to not fit in with everyone
6/25/2015 2:18 AM
118
That it's ok to be different from others
6/25/2015 1:30 AM
119
I'm a catch - sexy, fun, smart - a better feeling of confidence, not self-doubt and feelings of inferiority
6/25/2015 12:23 AM
120
God himself comforts us in all of our affliction, ask for it, watch for it.
6/24/2015 11:46 PM
121
That it is normal to never quite adjust to life in the States
6/24/2015 11:43 PM
122
i am of worth
6/24/2015 11:42 PM
123
I'm as imperfect as everyone else and God loves me unconditionally
6/24/2015 11:18 PM
124
When moving to "home" country my always mentioning other places alienated me from my peers. They in turn
made me an outsider and my self esteem plummeted. Wish I had understood that their taunts and jeers were not
the truth; that I in turn would have realized my own value and worth.
6/24/2015 10:39 PM
125
I understood myself quite well.
6/24/2015 10:27 PM
126
I didn't have to do everything the rest of my family did, go to the same college, etc. . .
6/24/2015 9:38 PM
127
That my circumstances did actually affect me, even though I felt very normal.
6/24/2015 9:22 PM
128
perfectionism, religious preoccupation
6/24/2015 8:41 PM
106 / 157
SurveyMonkey
129
not really sure how to answer this question. i honestly feel like i get a lot more things in life then my colleagues
and friends.
6/24/2015 8:16 PM
130
I can't really think of any
6/24/2015 8:08 PM
131
embrace the adventure and not question the what ifs
6/24/2015 7:49 PM
132
How it truly affects your personality as an adult.
6/24/2015 6:53 PM
133
That I was strong and deserved to be loved
6/24/2015 6:45 PM
134
Nothing really.
6/24/2015 6:31 PM
135
I will never fit into either culture
6/24/2015 6:22 PM
136
How to develop good relationships without worry about having to say goodbye
6/24/2015 5:59 PM
137
How others view me.
6/24/2015 5:48 PM
138
I never will feel "normal" in any culture
6/24/2015 5:30 PM
139
I wasn't the only one with these feelings
6/24/2015 5:24 PM
140
how it affects my building relationships with others
6/24/2015 5:10 PM
141
Nothing
6/24/2015 5:04 PM
142
Why I never totally fit in anywhere except with other third culture kids.
6/24/2015 4:45 PM
143
That I will survive.
6/24/2015 4:42 PM
144
It was okay to be different.
6/24/2015 4:35 PM
145
How to keep a relationship alive over time
6/24/2015 4:34 PM
146
the long-term effects of detachment disorder
6/24/2015 3:53 PM
147
I wish I had been more part of the foreign culture
6/24/2015 3:49 PM
148
It's uniqueness
6/24/2015 3:49 PM
149
how to belong
6/24/2015 3:45 PM
150
I am fine even though always different.
6/24/2015 3:41 PM
151
nothing
6/24/2015 3:25 PM
152
why I was sent to have others that didn't kmow me or my family raise me
6/24/2015 3:22 PM
153
I didn't have to be like everyone else--no one else could be me as well as *I* could!
6/24/2015 3:00 PM
154
That I was too lonely in my childhood, lacking loving relationships nearby.
6/24/2015 2:23 PM
155
the missionary life is not really normal for families
6/24/2015 2:17 PM
156
That the longing for 'home' is normal, and there's not much to do about it.
6/24/2015 1:10 PM
157
I'm actually an interesting person with fun interests and many skills.
6/24/2015 11:40 AM
158
My MK experience was not typical. It was further complicated by being an American whose family is serving in
the country of my ethnic heritage.
6/24/2015 9:52 AM
159
I had a job to do too
6/24/2015 9:35 AM
160
So many things- where does the sadness come from that surprises me every once in a while.
6/24/2015 9:11 AM
161
Not a problem as I see it.
6/24/2015 8:19 AM
162
Where God wants me now.
6/24/2015 8:15 AM
163
My frustration with Americans is normal, but something that needs to be addressed in a healthy way.
6/24/2015 7:48 AM
164
I am valuable
6/24/2015 7:15 AM
165
how leaving somewhere affects me and why?
6/24/2015 4:27 AM
107 / 157
SurveyMonkey
166
To trust myself more and express when something felt uncomfortable or wrong. To feel free to tell God how I felt
more often.
6/24/2015 4:02 AM
167
I wish I had given myself more grace, for transition, for goodbyes, for not fitting in, etc. I was hard on myself.
6/24/2015 3:56 AM
168
my choices were good
6/24/2015 3:07 AM
169
I was young as an MK. We left the field when I was 8 but I wish that as a teen I could have had someone who
connected with me on that subject.
6/24/2015 2:31 AM
170
N/A
6/24/2015 1:50 AM
171
N/a
6/24/2015 12:03 AM
172
How to avoid getting into negative romantic relationship
6/23/2015 11:51 PM
173
That I need to be a missionary all my life no matter where I am.
6/23/2015 11:27 PM
174
That I needed to get emotional/relational help sooner rather than later.
6/23/2015 11:18 PM
175
It doesn't end when you leave home or become an adult.
6/23/2015 10:26 PM
176
That the school/ccommunity I was in was a bad fit for me and didn't represent the only or best kind of community.
6/23/2015 10:24 PM
177
Its ok to be a sinner because redemption is the whole point of the gospel
6/23/2015 10:19 PM
178
How different my experience would make me
6/23/2015 9:56 PM
179
it's ok to be different
6/23/2015 9:33 PM
180
I need to step out of my comfort zone in order to get friends.
6/23/2015 9:22 PM
181
My happiness is not dependent on that of others
6/23/2015 9:19 PM
182
my identity in Christ
6/23/2015 8:40 PM
183
Why I feel like people judge me or expect me to be a certain way.
6/23/2015 5:56 PM
184
I can't think of anything right now.
6/23/2015 4:03 PM
185
How to better help some around me who did hurt.
6/23/2015 12:16 PM
186
That my lack of a best friend or long-term friendships in childhood was due to high mobility (between moves &
furloughs things got pretty broken up) not to lack of skill in making friends, and that assuming you're no good at
making friends doesn't help at all!
6/23/2015 10:27 AM
187
Lack of close relationships
6/22/2015 1:07 PM
188
How loss and moving frequently affects relating style. And how I go deep and talk about too much emotionally
deep stuff in relationship with friends and don't give it time.
6/22/2015 9:57 AM
189
How to accept people who don't understand what it's like to be an MK
6/21/2015 2:33 AM
190
There is no one "real" MK experience - just because I'm not bilingual doesn't make me a bad MK
6/20/2015 11:44 PM
191
To have valued my experiences and travels more.
6/20/2015 10:00 PM
192
to know if its just me or if its normal to feel my life will be 180 degrees different depending on from where my
future parter will be from, and if calculating it is a normal thing.
6/20/2015 1:39 PM
193
I need a strong, supportive community around me. I left my community when I left Japan. I have not found that
here yet.
6/20/2015 12:41 PM
194
Difficulty to have horizontal relationships where I do not "help" others.
6/20/2015 8:03 AM
195
The relationships with the people of those countries really would stay with me long after I no longer lived there.
6/20/2015 6:14 AM
196
Nothing
6/19/2015 10:37 PM
197
I can relate to non-MK/TCKs
6/19/2015 10:15 AM
198
It would be interesting to know what really are the effects of being a MK in my life.
6/19/2015 9:42 AM
199
Other people experience struggles too!
6/19/2015 9:37 AM
108 / 157
SurveyMonkey
200
That I didn't need to jump into relationships so fast.
6/19/2015 9:23 AM
201
That I had it within me to relate better to collegemates rather than focusing on how different I was from them
6/19/2015 8:32 AM
202
Despite not feeling like I belonged or fit in I still had things I could have contributed to my surroundings. I always
tended to stay in the shadows and doubted anything I had to say, so I never spoke up. I just assumed that people
thought the same way I did, so why would me saying what I thought bolster the conversation.
6/19/2015 6:21 AM
203
Although I felt weak, I was actually very strong, to survive leaving home at age 10 and basically bringing myself
up.
6/18/2015 8:51 PM
204
That it was ok to have faults and accept others
6/18/2015 7:44 PM
205
The term Third culture kid! I wish I knew it as a child!
6/18/2015 5:10 PM
206
the longing to belong and still be different
6/18/2015 4:08 PM
207
It is ok to be different than everyone and it is beautiful to have individuality anywhere you go.
6/18/2015 3:53 PM
208
Not being "normal" is okay.
6/18/2015 3:49 PM
209
It is okay to be LGBT or non christian
6/18/2015 1:15 PM
210
Not to be so resistant or afraid of times of change, because without them I wouldn't have grown into who I am
now.
6/18/2015 11:36 AM
211
how much of my personality and outlook was affected by being a TCK
6/18/2015 11:12 AM
212
It was shaping my future relationships, and that I had baggage.
6/18/2015 10:32 AM
213
Not to put such pressure on myself to be perfect.
6/18/2015 10:26 AM
214
MK life and experience is temporary, you are going to live and work as an American in that foreign country. Many
decisions would have been different if I'd known and accepted that when I was 20!
6/18/2015 9:52 AM
215
n/a
6/18/2015 9:18 AM
216
That I was absorbing problematic ideas of what helping looks like.
6/18/2015 8:48 AM
217
why so many of my friends would turn away from the God of our youth
6/18/2015 8:16 AM
218
That it was okay to be myself.
6/18/2015 7:18 AM
219
the flexibility you acquire is ultimately an asset
6/18/2015 5:31 AM
220
Why i am so insecure
6/18/2015 3:51 AM
221
that all of us felt the same way
6/18/2015 2:19 AM
222
that it's ok to be different
6/18/2015 2:04 AM
223
I didn't need to put so much pressure on myself
6/18/2015 1:56 AM
224
there are many things :-)
6/18/2015 1:26 AM
225
God loves me very much and I am special.
6/18/2015 12:28 AM
226
It was a privilege.
6/17/2015 11:37 PM
227
my sense of belonging and identity should not be detrimental to my entire person and mindset
6/17/2015 10:38 PM
228
Everyone is different. You have to learn about each person's story.
6/17/2015 10:38 PM
229
It is ok to be different
6/17/2015 10:16 PM
230
the best years of your life are ahead of you. Happiness and contentment is never a particular situation or
environment; it is a choice
6/17/2015 8:37 PM
231
Better prep for emigrating to passport country
6/17/2015 7:12 PM
232
You don't have to for in to be happy
6/17/2015 6:38 PM
233
That I self-sabotage because I fear a cage.
6/17/2015 6:22 PM
109 / 157
SurveyMonkey
234
why I always feel so "weird". Oh, wait. I guess it's because I AM weird, haha!
6/17/2015 4:35 PM
235
Nothing
6/17/2015 4:12 PM
236
While being a MK provided a unique platform in which I experienced anxieties about fitting in, being 'normal', etc,
those feelings are experienced by most children/teens, even those who lived in one place their entire growing up
years.
6/17/2015 4:08 PM
237
Not sure
6/17/2015 3:57 PM
238
The difference in the way Americans and MKs understand and develop relationships, though I seemed to
intuitively understand this.
6/17/2015 3:29 PM
239
It's not the only thing that defines me - just a part of it.
6/17/2015 3:22 PM
240
my idea of family and a sense of relationship
6/17/2015 3:22 PM
241
being able to see all sides is okay, not having as strong and polarized opinions as people who have lived all their
life in one place is okay.
6/17/2015 3:10 PM
242
That it is natural that I'm different and that with some basic social skills I would have tackled many many
problems.
6/16/2015 3:05 PM
243
building relationships; I married a man 26 years my senior; was verbally and emotionally abused for 10 years but
didn't know how to seek help; was taught to "keep it in the family"
6/16/2015 9:53 AM
244
That just because I had cross cultural experience, that didn't make me superior to my mono-cultural peers
6/16/2015 8:55 AM
245
How to be confident that I'm in the right place and not always thinking about being somewhere else.
6/16/2015 8:24 AM
246
I am saved by grace: my life belongs to Christ
6/16/2015 7:12 AM
247
You didn't need to totally leave your childhood behind when you left Japan.
6/16/2015 5:14 AM
248
That I was always going to be different.
6/15/2015 10:22 PM
249
How flexible I can be
6/15/2015 9:42 PM
250
That the Lord was preparing me for future service to Him overseas.
6/15/2015 8:05 PM
251
that I would be different than others when i went on furlough, like maybe the school set up a short class for all
students returning to home country for a furlough, letting us know that we were not normal, especially in Middle
School.
6/15/2015 3:37 PM
252
The chances
6/15/2015 12:52 PM
253
that I was an MK and the effects moving a lot had on me as I didnt realise that until I was an adult
6/15/2015 8:21 AM
254
that feeling different from everyone else is not a bad thing.
6/15/2015 1:53 AM
255
Faith in God is the most important thing, always.
6/14/2015 9:50 PM
256
That I wasn't alone. It really wasn't until college that I met other MK's and realized that growing up as an MK but
in an isolated situation away from any other MK's left me feeling very alone and I missed out on going through
that experience with anyone else, or having anyone to talk to about it. I would have helped me alot to have
someone to talk with.
6/14/2015 9:31 PM
257
When I grew up there was little or nothing discussed about how our life as MKs could effect our lives as adults in
the US. It wasn't until much later that I understood why I felt different from those around me. I wish I had
understood earlier on some of the ways growing up as an MK touched my life.
6/14/2015 8:53 PM
258
It's ok to be different.
6/14/2015 6:17 PM
259
How much I needed to be cultivating solid relationships. Most of my relationships from that stage in life were
short and shallow. I don't have a ton of contact with those people anymore.
6/14/2015 6:16 PM
260
That my experience was common and I wasn't alone in it. The feelings I experienced weren't because I was
unlikable, weird, or unwanted
6/14/2015 6:04 PM
261
talking earlier with sb about the negative childhood experiences
6/14/2015 2:20 PM
262
It's a journey...I'm always learning
6/14/2015 10:29 AM
110 / 157
SurveyMonkey
263
I'm not alone in the way that I felt.
6/14/2015 10:28 AM
264
I needed to realize that I didn't need to prove anything to anyone. I just needed to be me. I didn't have to make
people like me.
6/14/2015 9:20 AM
265
it's okay express faith in different ways
6/14/2015 9:09 AM
266
don't feel that way.
6/14/2015 8:33 AM
267
everyone gets teased at school it wasn't just because i was from another country or because i was a christian
6/14/2015 8:08 AM
268
I didn't learn about the MK/TCK thing until after I was out of college. I didn't go to a reentry seminar or anything
like that. I didn't really know about the NK identity when I first came home.
6/14/2015 8:04 AM
269
Growing up I wish I would have understood it is ok to hate some of the things that come with being an MK. For
the longest time it seemed like I was expected to like everything, enjoy everything about being an MK. So I
assumed that as an MK if I did not like it, if I hated all the moving that was not "normal" not what was expected. I
wish I would have understood the feelings of hate and dislike I had and how to deal with those feeling.
6/14/2015 7:24 AM
270
My parents work is not dependent upon me and my behavior.
6/13/2015 10:22 PM
271
Just how valuable and rare the opportunities around me were. Especially the ones I didn't take advantage of.
6/13/2015 9:48 PM
272
That the 3rd culture experience is permanent
6/13/2015 9:17 PM
273
I'm not as important as I think
6/13/2015 6:55 PM
274
Not being just like those in my passport company is okay; the many goodbyes I experienced change how I
approach relationships
6/13/2015 6:41 PM
275
I wasn't invisible or an something Alan's.
6/13/2015 5:03 PM
276
im much stringer than my 14yr old self thought
6/13/2015 4:01 PM
277
That there are others who also felt the same way.
6/13/2015 3:27 PM
278
my strengths
6/13/2015 3:07 PM
279
I'm almost 30, and I'm still not sure. :-/
6/13/2015 2:19 PM
280
That the life I was living wouldn't last forever, and I shouldn't expect it to.
6/13/2015 12:38 PM
281
nothing
6/13/2015 12:01 PM
282
It's important to be genuine with people
6/13/2015 11:58 AM
283
Had I not been an MK, would I have been more or less social than I am now?
6/13/2015 10:50 AM
284
That I would survive all the goodbyes and grow up happy and relatively stable, lol! I was a dramatic child.
6/13/2015 10:48 AM
285
it's ok to be different, fitting in doesn't have to mean you are a cookie cutter version of everyone else
6/13/2015 7:07 AM
286
I needed to be more careful about jumping into relationships to quickly.
6/12/2015 5:42 PM
287
how to deal with goodbyes, which were so frequent.
6/12/2015 2:59 PM
288
that being an MK doesn't place me in a discrete, disconnected category from the rest of humanity
6/12/2015 2:05 PM
289
that God was writing my story (life was not just happening to me) and offering me opportunities that would shape
me and prepare me for who I have become - my future at the time.
6/12/2015 7:12 AM
290
I wish I could have never worried about relationships and belonging as much.
6/11/2015 11:37 PM
291
It's OK to be different and that I don't have to change myself to fit in but it's better to be myself.
6/11/2015 10:43 PM
292
I don't always need to fit in.
6/11/2015 10:42 PM
293
I was not the only one feeling unimportant. I wish my other MK friends had opened up about their hardships.
6/11/2015 9:27 PM
294
That it is ok to not fit in because being who Hod made us is so much better than fitting a mild...and people will
like us better than they will like "fake" us!
6/11/2015 8:41 PM
295
My identity and level of acceptability to either/all other cultures was changed forever.
6/11/2015 8:36 PM
111 / 157
SurveyMonkey
296
How to navigate close relationships in my passport country -- I do excellently when they're superficial
relationships but close ones seem to usually scare off my friends.
6/11/2015 7:52 PM
297
Insight into relationships is something I have always had trouble finding
6/11/2015 4:07 PM
298
It's ok to be different
6/11/2015 12:17 PM
299
Why I have trouble feeling like I belong
6/11/2015 11:24 AM
300
that I didn't have to wait to grow up to begin serving God at the age and place I was at.
6/11/2015 10:57 AM
301
The tragic parts of my life were my teen and young adult years after coming back from Africa. I made friends and
fit in easily but I wasn't doing well inside. Spiritually and emotionally I was struggling and I didn't know how to
handle dating relationships. I felt like I was thrown to the wolves. I wish i had asked for more help from my
parents and stayed better connected with my MK friends. Wish I had the social media stuff they have now. I think
that would have helped a lot. I tried to figure out my own problems. I felt all alone and overwhelmed even while
surrounded by my family because my parents had such big problems to figure out themselves and my siblings
didn't know how to help me.
6/11/2015 9:25 AM
302
I need to take time to get to know myself in my home country. I got married one year out of highschool and I think
it was purely out of fear of being alone and doing what was expected. I never took the time to get used to my
home country and to seek out what I wanted to do with my life.
6/11/2015 4:07 AM
303
Just because of unique experiences doesn't mean that others have nothing to offer relationally. On the contrary.
Kill MK pride.
6/10/2015 11:03 PM
304
that i have a learning disability
6/10/2015 10:11 PM
305
I haven't lived overseas in 16 years but still feel out of place. But since it's been so long, when I visit my other
home country, I now feel out of place too.
6/10/2015 9:58 PM
306
I don't fit MK stereotypes and that's okay.
6/10/2015 4:10 PM
307
to invest where I am, even for a short time
6/10/2015 4:08 PM
308
Believes other than the forced fed Christianity
6/10/2015 3:09 PM
309
It's okay to be different and to not fit in. You don't have to be just like everyone else to be accepted.
6/10/2015 2:44 PM
310
I am old enough that MKs didn't really get much special attention, but I think I had quite a bit of self-awareness. I
do wish I'd had someone skilled to talk with about loss and emotions, however.
6/10/2015 2:11 PM
311
That it's ok to be different from other MK's
6/10/2015 12:56 PM
312
Cultural differences run deeper than just how you do things - greeting, flushing toilets, etc. I didn't understand that
the judgmentalism was part of it, or how much I would grieve.
6/10/2015 12:53 PM
313
Why I didn't fit in, in either country
6/10/2015 12:28 PM
314
It's ok to love multiple cultures--you don't need to reject your passport culture in favor of your mission-field culture
6/10/2015 12:26 PM
315
Why I crave belonging, but at the same time can't bring myself to make the effort to belong somewhere.
6/10/2015 12:12 PM
316
How my experience was so different from other MKs
6/10/2015 11:52 AM
317
what experiences you may have when you move to the field for the first time. BFA did a great job preparing us
before we went back to the US. I did not have the preparation before going to the field.
6/10/2015 11:46 AM
318
its ok to hurt, to be angry at god, to not be perfect, to be messed up.
6/10/2015 11:43 AM
319
That it was ok to have different priorities, ideas, beliefs than those who had not shared my life experiences. ..then
maybe I would have felt like I fit in.
6/10/2015 11:40 AM
320
how to value my personal heritage/history and my current stationary life-style equally/more balanced.
6/10/2015 11:36 AM
321
Not see my schooling as an impediment to their ministry.
6/10/2015 10:58 AM
322
nothing
6/10/2015 10:51 AM
323
It's okay to struggle.
6/10/2015 10:23 AM
324
The arrogance that came with it. And how that arrogance prevented me from making any friends in college. If I
could go back in time and shake some sense in me, I would!
6/10/2015 10:09 AM
112 / 157
SurveyMonkey
325
How quickly I dive in and out of relationships. The importance of building trust and commitment in relationships
that will be long-term.
6/10/2015 8:57 AM
326
not all friendships are supposed to last
6/10/2015 8:34 AM
327
??
6/10/2015 8:23 AM
328
6/10/2015 8:11 AM
329
I approach relationships differently than mono cultural kids.
6/10/2015 7:56 AM
330
I wish I had understood the source of a deep fear that I had for a number of years. PTL for victory and freedom
from that as a young wife and mother.
6/10/2015 7:34 AM
331
the advantages of living in, or traveling through 72 countries and the experiences that brought
6/10/2015 7:12 AM
332
Why I don't really keep in touch with people from the past.
6/10/2015 6:46 AM
333
Everybody struggles as a teenager, not just MKs
6/10/2015 6:30 AM
334
How to resist developing a perfectionistic tendency
6/10/2015 4:26 AM
335
I don't know.
6/10/2015 3:48 AM
336
Everything is awesome. No, really I don't have an answer to this.
6/10/2015 3:35 AM
337
Different is good.
6/10/2015 3:25 AM
338
That I need to learn how to put down roots
6/10/2015 3:21 AM
339
How it would affect my relationships later.
6/10/2015 2:32 AM
340
Why I became shy just because I didn't know the language properly when I came to my home country
(Switzerland) after high school. It had never been a problem before.
6/10/2015 2:04 AM
341
How I can love and hate my experience simultaneously
6/10/2015 1:38 AM
342
That growing up like i did, was not normal to Others my age
6/10/2015 1:20 AM
343
I wish I would have been talked to more about my personal faith as a high schooler. I have had to figure out a lot
of that and why I feel the way I do as a post-college adult. I thought that since my parents were missionaries, that
meant something for my spiritual life but it's taken me until age 25 to really own my faith and realize that it's my
thing and I need to pursue God as he pursues me. And not only do I need to pursue him. I want to. I crave that
relationship.
6/10/2015 12:11 AM
344
where I fit
6/10/2015 12:10 AM
345
That the desire to move and not put in roots may be lifelong, and should not necessarily be what I base decisions
on
6/10/2015 12:05 AM
346
My desire to BE the kind of person who went the extra mile to make relationships work could make big trouble for
me if I made that commitment too early.
6/9/2015 11:36 PM
347
It's acceptable to make friends quickly and to not wait around for relationships to form naturally
6/9/2015 11:09 PM
348
How much I avoid deep relationships and really investing in those around me.
6/9/2015 11:03 PM
349
It took me a long time to relate with my peers. I related better to adults around me
6/9/2015 10:54 PM
350
The opertunities that will come later in life because of my upbringing.
6/9/2015 10:32 PM
351
How to be ok with the idea of settling down in the U.S.
6/9/2015 10:25 PM
352
It's only a part of me, it's not me. Who I am is ultimately defined by God alone.
6/9/2015 10:22 PM
353
I didn't have to put on a show. Other, stronger MKs chose to live authentically. I did not.
6/9/2015 10:16 PM
354
I was trying to fit in desperately but needed to understand we can rise above "the world" a little sooner in life. :)
6/9/2015 9:57 PM
113 / 157
SurveyMonkey
355
That the experience was an asset. I rarely, rarely speak about growing up overseas & view it as a liability something that makes me odd, unusual, not-understandable. I struggle to embrace the experience/s as a asset.
6/9/2015 9:53 PM
356
That I would always feel a little on the outside of things in my home country.
6/9/2015 9:49 PM
357
Why I feel guilty about not becoming a missionary myself. Why my "calling" is viewed by my church as well as
others as being "lesser" than an overseas missionary.
6/9/2015 9:46 PM
358
Its okay to be different
6/9/2015 9:35 PM
359
The past doesn't always make the future and the present can always lead to a different future. The need to avoid
feelings of hopelessness
6/9/2015 9:32 PM
360
There are lots of other people who feel the same way, and I am not weird
6/9/2015 9:20 PM
361
My pride. It took marriage to get me to see the pride that had been instilled me (partly intentionally) on account of
being different.
6/9/2015 9:11 PM
362
Differences are not insurmountable
6/9/2015 8:54 PM
363
That I had a gift in music and to pursue it passionately as a kid
6/9/2015 8:48 PM
364
It doesn't define me. I don't have to introduce myself as an MK. I'm a person no matter what.
6/9/2015 8:46 PM
365
How it would affect Romantic relationships.
6/9/2015 8:44 PM
366
Can't think of anything.
6/9/2015 8:41 PM
367
Home would always be the mission field, and I would never stop wanting to visit. Visiting brings enormous
amounts of comfort.
6/9/2015 8:38 PM
368
How I was different; that my experience was not the norm.
6/9/2015 8:35 PM
369
the impact I had on others
6/9/2015 8:31 PM
370
I don't really think of myself as an MK anymore, just an adult who grew up that way.
6/9/2015 8:25 PM
371
Nothing
6/9/2015 8:19 PM
372
Known my MK strength not just I was different.
6/9/2015 8:13 PM
373
I wish I knew that it would
6/9/2015 7:53 PM
374
My faith
6/9/2015 7:53 PM
375
Why I'm so noncommittal.
6/9/2015 7:50 PM
376
My family wasn't my blood family I was idolizing back in the US but the missionaries on the field
6/9/2015 7:36 PM
377
I can be confident in who God made me, rather than trying to prove myself or gain approval.
6/9/2015 7:34 PM
378
I'm happy with myself too
6/9/2015 7:17 PM
379
My lack of ability to belong to groups.
6/9/2015 7:06 PM
380
I am currently exploring the topic of attachment theory and would like to understand more about how that has
affected me in my relationships and with God
6/9/2015 7:03 PM
381
To think for yourself
6/9/2015 6:53 PM
382
How to form better relationships with mono-cultural friends
6/9/2015 6:52 PM
383
I wish I knew to ask more questions and listen more and not talk about myself. My MK stories should have been
saved for those that I went 'deeper' with, instead they seemed to push people away.
6/9/2015 6:44 PM
384
Just because I've had some cool experiences does not make me superior to someone from small town America
6/9/2015 6:41 PM
385
The influence growing up in another culture gD on my life.
6/9/2015 6:36 PM
386
I don't have to be perfect! Its okay to mess up, fail, fall down. Own up to my mistakes--I'm human too!
6/9/2015 6:35 PM
387
I had a lot to offer, even as a child, & being shy only hurt me overseas & in my passport country.
6/9/2015 6:28 PM
114 / 157
SurveyMonkey
388
that those years living overseas was a treasure and I wish I had valued and taken advantage of it while I was
there.
6/9/2015 6:19 PM
389
Steps to work past the aspect of isolating that i can easily do
6/9/2015 5:53 PM
390
It was OK to want something for me. It would no hinder God's work
6/9/2015 5:52 PM
391
how to get over my awkwardness around my own western peers
6/9/2015 5:48 PM
392
The effects of cross-culture absorption and how shaped how I relate to people
6/9/2015 5:48 PM
393
it is part of who I am and not the basis of my entire identity
6/9/2015 5:48 PM
394
I'm weird - accept it and move on.
6/9/2015 5:39 PM
395
It's ok and possible to identify with multiple groups and cultures
6/9/2015 5:37 PM
396
Why I feel o don't belong...that I am weird.
6/9/2015 5:33 PM
397
difference is ok
6/9/2015 5:28 PM
398
nothing
6/9/2015 5:26 PM
399
The characteristics of abandonment.
6/9/2015 5:26 PM
400
How lost I would feel when leaving home for college
6/9/2015 5:25 PM
401
you can't control either positive or negative circumstances
6/9/2015 5:21 PM
402
My Canadian culture. The school I went to though international really catered to the Americans mostly.
6/9/2015 5:10 PM
403
How to overcome my personal challenges when it came to making friends, and that I might have found more
friends if I'd been proud of my differences, rather than working so hard to fit in.
6/9/2015 4:59 PM
404
Making mistakes is a good thing - I could have learned the local language.
6/9/2015 4:58 PM
405
6/9/2015 4:56 PM
406
Lack of trust
6/9/2015 4:55 PM
407
How the disconnected feeling would always follow me. -although what would that "fix"?
6/9/2015 4:45 PM
408
That I would one day grow up and be free to live the life I chose. It would have made me less suicidal.
6/9/2015 4:44 PM
409
I did not need to be the perfect kid. . . it was okay that I made mistakes!
6/9/2015 4:40 PM
410
that I might not be normal but there are actually no normal people out there
6/9/2015 4:38 PM
411
Nothing
6/9/2015 4:38 PM
412
That I have often felt insecure due to experiences overseas, but I also learned important lessons from these
experiences
6/9/2015 4:34 PM
413
Grieving is important
6/9/2015 4:32 PM
414
the number of changes I would make.
6/9/2015 4:25 PM
415
That I would be scared of being in one place for the rest of my life.
6/9/2015 4:23 PM
416
I have no idea
6/9/2015 4:22 PM
417
it's okay to grieve
6/9/2015 4:22 PM
418
The historical context (i.e. global missions, cultural imperialism) in which I was incidentally involved
6/9/2015 4:21 PM
419
That in the beginning relationships with people with cross cultural experience would be easier
6/9/2015 4:08 PM
420
i didn't have to feel the need to be "perfect". I could have been more of myself.
6/9/2015 4:08 PM
421
How the knowledge that one day I will leave the current location (sooner more often than later) I am in has
effected my heart in truly connecting with people more than just on the surface.
6/9/2015 4:07 PM
422
I don't know
6/9/2015 3:55 PM
115 / 157
SurveyMonkey
423
I ghink being born and raised into the MK family just makes me an MK period. No need to understand anything. It
was the norm for me.
6/9/2015 3:41 PM
424
The benefits of connecting with so many varied people
6/9/2015 3:17 PM
425
that it would have been ok to pursue career choices that felt good and made me happy
6/9/2015 3:14 PM
426
Some cultures don't care if you are a foreigner
6/9/2015 3:09 PM
427
why the distinction of cultures isn't clear as it is for adults who move to a new culture.
6/9/2015 2:33 PM
428
That feeling like an outsider is normal and would get easier over time
6/9/2015 2:32 PM
429
Why it's so difficult for me to relate to most people I meet.
6/9/2015 2:15 PM
430
it's ok to be different.
6/9/2015 2:04 PM
431
I'm actually pretty normal in ways that matter.
6/9/2015 1:58 PM
432
That I would fare better by deliberately and intentionally nurturing acquaintances at boarding school especially,
into real friendships. I was too passive.
6/9/2015 1:55 PM
433
How to relate to people, but this is also simply my personality unrelated to my MKness
6/9/2015 1:30 PM
434
it's ok to be a kid and it's ok to make mistakes.
6/9/2015 1:13 PM
435
It's normal not to fit
6/9/2015 12:49 PM
436
lots of people don't fit in. We're all winging it
6/9/2015 12:42 PM
437
That the heartbreak of change and longing don't stop when you grow up. They cycle through he rest of your life
and you have to somehow reconcile yourself with it.
6/9/2015 12:33 PM
438
I'm normal compared to other TCKs, not unusual for a particular group of people.
6/9/2015 12:30 PM
439
My own roots.
6/9/2015 12:23 PM
440
That having good parents and a loving home doesn't mean you don't walk away from this unscathed. It took me a
long time to accept that the mental mess I was in had any prescedence.
6/9/2015 12:09 PM
441
it's okay to have to process emotions, takes time
6/9/2015 12:09 PM
442
The grass is not always greener on the other side. Being back in the paper country is not all it's cracked up to be.
6/9/2015 12:06 PM
443
still need to understand it better to understand me better
6/9/2015 11:38 AM
444
grief and loss
6/9/2015 11:33 AM
445
I would need my parents longer than my peers and it's ok
6/9/2015 11:24 AM
446
sense of belonging
6/9/2015 10:38 AM
447
Who I am since I'm such a chameleon, its hard to know what *I* truly believe
6/9/2015 10:32 AM
448
how to handle emotions.
6/9/2015 10:07 AM
449
That I would be okay.
6/9/2015 10:00 AM
450
that grief is what I experienced when I left home and dealing with it quicker
6/9/2015 9:34 AM
451
It's ok to be myself, not the perfect cookie cutter MK I thought I had to be.
6/9/2015 9:34 AM
452
I wish I'd understood that struggles are a normal part of development and not a symptom of problems.
6/9/2015 9:31 AM
453
That it is okay to let people in, get to know me, even if it is just for a little while
6/9/2015 9:28 AM
454
It is a part of who I am, but it doesn't need to define me.
6/9/2015 9:17 AM
455
i don't have to make everyone like me
6/9/2015 8:58 AM
456
difference is ok. my identity is in jesus.
6/9/2015 8:47 AM
457
That feeling different is normal.
6/9/2015 8:23 AM
458
on learning better skills at keeping friendships alive
6/9/2015 6:43 AM
116 / 157
SurveyMonkey
459
how to make long-term friends; how mono-cultural societies think (those two are closely related)
6/9/2015 5:14 AM
460
Being an MK doesn't have to define you.
6/9/2015 3:15 AM
461
I'm good enough as I am
6/9/2015 2:49 AM
462
To value my experiences and learn to heal from ad experiences
6/9/2015 2:34 AM
463
It took me a long time to come to my current awareness of who I am as an MK. I'm thrilled I now understand
myself more but regret it took so long.
6/9/2015 1:54 AM
464
My propensity towards arrogance and pride because I was an mk
6/9/2015 1:50 AM
465
I was very fortunate to attend re-entry seminars by Dave Pollack at a critical juncture in my life. So not much,
again.
6/9/2015 12:43 AM
466
the strengths that would come from it
6/9/2015 12:21 AM
467
I'm not alone.
6/8/2015 11:41 PM
468
that it's ok to grieve
6/8/2015 11:10 PM
469
Culture shock sometimes comes and goes in multiple phases.
6/8/2015 10:50 PM
470
I wish I had realized that I was living in a bubble when I was at BFA. I was so unaware.
6/8/2015 10:49 PM
471
That maybe I am not as awful as everyone says. I do not have to be responsible for the way people feel and
relate to each other. I am not anyone's saviour. All the pressure that I feel to be perfect, for fear of being left
behind for better options, is making me terrified of having a deep relationship. I wish I had been taught grace. My
previous actions do not blow my future. My imperfections are not permanent and they don't need to be my
undoing. I wish I had understood my humanity, and been able to forgive myself just a bit more.
6/8/2015 10:25 PM
472
the whole not belonging thing and the reasons why
6/8/2015 10:20 PM
473
It's just one piece of your life
6/8/2015 10:14 PM
474
My peculiar cultural identity is an okay way to be.
6/8/2015 10:12 PM
475
How to identify and process my feelings overall. I loved my identity as an MK to the detriment of other things-living with the abuse and hiding the shame and not knowing what to do.
6/8/2015 10:06 PM
476
I wish I had been given help at developing and maintaining friendships in my passport country.
6/8/2015 10:02 PM
477
How to deal with culture shock before I went through it
6/8/2015 9:54 PM
478
That I'm not the only one
6/8/2015 9:46 PM
479
why is have a hard time developing close friendships in my passport country
6/8/2015 9:40 PM
480
How extraordinary & special my life had been.
6/8/2015 9:14 PM
481
Why I don't have an interest in developing new relationships.
6/8/2015 8:59 PM
482
how all the moves would cause difficulties in making friends later on.
6/8/2015 8:56 PM
483
Feeling like you don't belong is normal. Just be yourself & like yourself & others will like you too.
6/8/2015 8:54 PM
484
I'm weird
6/8/2015 8:51 PM
485
That it was ok to be me even if other people didn't accept me.
6/8/2015 8:50 PM
486
My faith
6/8/2015 8:46 PM
487
the craving for a special relationship
6/8/2015 8:41 PM
488
I am only now realizing how much I expect of myself. I wish I had known growing up that my expectations for
myself are unrealistically high.
6/8/2015 8:26 PM
489
I was not responsible for taking care of my parents or siblings when things were difficult in the ministry.
6/8/2015 8:24 PM
490
People assume they understand you before they know you.
6/8/2015 8:20 PM
491
I am really not that different from "normal" Americans.
6/8/2015 8:19 PM
117 / 157
SurveyMonkey
492
It is really important to find joy and satisfaction in Christ wherever I am
6/8/2015 8:12 PM
493
Why I felt so out of place returning to my passport country as a university student.
6/8/2015 8:07 PM
494
Why I'm so uncomfortable in my passport country.
6/8/2015 8:07 PM
495
Wish I had access to TCK info before I was in my 50s!
6/8/2015 7:54 PM
496
Why I have to try and hold onto every friend I can
6/8/2015 7:53 PM
497
I approach relationships/ friendships differently
6/8/2015 7:46 PM
498
My strive for perfection and how to get over the need to be perfect
6/8/2015 7:46 PM
499
that my struggle with being in the U.S. Was not weakness or a personality flaw. It was a very traumatic change
and I should have been more forgiving of myself.
6/8/2015 7:45 PM
500
It would have been better to establish roots even if I knew I would soon be uprooted. I missed out on
relationships, especially in teenage years because I was afraid of the pain that moving was going to produce.
6/8/2015 7:43 PM
501
Everything that I didn't know then, that makes so much sense now.
6/8/2015 7:42 PM
502
How to develop and feel comfortable in relationships.
6/8/2015 7:42 PM
503
I wish I had understood that my rebellion was due to the rejsction I felt from my mother.
6/8/2015 7:41 PM
504
My self esteem
6/8/2015 7:41 PM
505
That it frames my perspective in such a great way, and that I could have used my experiences to help others as
they waded through the oceans of change, faith, and other issues mks deal with.
6/8/2015 7:31 PM
506
That MKs go deep and go there fast and not to expect it from others
6/8/2015 7:25 PM
507
That the hurt from being different, and from being abused in school, would shape me irrevocably, but that I could
have and should have integrated the African and American parts of me more quickly. Attempting to stuff the
African me down was a big mistake.
6/8/2015 7:24 PM
508
Don't know
6/8/2015 7:21 PM
509
why I am afraid of others becoming dependent on me.
6/8/2015 7:10 PM
510
That I'm ultimately no better than a monoculture person
6/8/2015 7:04 PM
511
Why I sometimes feel more at ease with non-MKs that with MKs.
6/8/2015 7:03 PM
118 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q29 The one thing I wish people

understood better about MKs is:
Answered: 536
Skipped: 207
Responses
Date
our cross cultural experiences
6/27/2015 10:33 AM
I am different, but I still love people
6/27/2015 9:40 AM
We are different and can't help it.
6/27/2015 8:56 AM
these are stories of my life. I'm not bragging or trying to "one up" somebody
6/27/2015 5:47 AM
When they are children, treat them like children and not missionaries. They are children of missionaries not "kid
missionaries". I think I never was a child, I felt and acted like a "kid missionary".
6/27/2015 5:40 AM
that we straddle two worlds and they shape us
6/27/2015 4:29 AM
They are people, accept them, you can learn a lot from them.
6/27/2015 3:02 AM
We are regular people as well.
6/27/2015 2:48 AM
We are going to be different. It's not just weird for the people we are interacting with, it's weird for us too because
we don't know how to interact with you necessarily.
6/27/2015 2:38 AM
10
I change to suit you all the time
6/27/2015 2:14 AM
11
That even if if I'm afraid of belonging and appear to resist deep relationships, I still desperately long to belong
somewhere and to matter to someone.
6/27/2015 2:04 AM
12
We have so much pride in our country that it comes off as pretentious and maybe even is a little bit because
when we tallk about it, we start to ache all over again and want to convey just how meaningful these silly, trivial
events are.
6/27/2015 1:21 AM
13
My world views and passions about poverty and helping others
6/27/2015 1:13 AM
14
That MK's just don't know different sometimes
6/27/2015 12:40 AM
15
Our lack of belonging
6/27/2015 12:19 AM
16
Not all MK's go on to still be part of a church, 1/4 of the MKs I know left church after getting out from under
parents roof.
6/27/2015 12:10 AM
17
We are unique and our struggles might not be what you think
6/27/2015 12:07 AM
18
We're just ordinary human beings
6/26/2015 11:54 PM
19
WE HAVE REALLY INTERESTING THINGS TO TALK ABOUT!!!!! Seriously we aren't as intimidating as most
people think we are and we aren't robots. We are just a little unique and probably really quirky. Just because you
can't relate to us doesn't mean you have to shut down. As you can see that's something I am dealing with at the
moment. Haha!
6/26/2015 11:49 PM
20
we belong to many cultures and communities, naturally
6/26/2015 11:27 PM
21
nothing in particular..it's not their job to understand me anymore than it is mine to understand them, I think...or
maybe it's both our jobs to understand each other
6/26/2015 11:24 PM
22
We're special, just like everyone else.
6/26/2015 10:52 PM
23
We're not trying to condescend. We're not hyper liberal. We just have different ideas and perspectives and have
seen the same issues work in different contexts.
6/26/2015 10:49 PM
24
They crave deep relationships and wish people would know how to ask them relevant questions.
6/26/2015 10:42 PM
25
We may seem confident but inside we are a quivering mass of jelly afraid that we'll be laughed at and stared at.
6/26/2015 10:33 PM
26
We are different because of our life overseas and that difference is not bad.
6/26/2015 10:30 PM
119 / 157
SurveyMonkey
27
we are just like your children.
6/26/2015 10:20 PM
28
They're pretty normal people. Not saints.
6/26/2015 10:20 PM
29
We go through more loss by the time we finish highschool than most people do in a lifetime- and it's not all "fun
and exotic". Sometimes, it really really sucks.
6/26/2015 10:19 PM
30
We won't fit in most cultural boxes, therefore will very rarely agree with them a hundred percent.
6/26/2015 10:12 PM
31
They want to tell their stories and be known for who they are
6/26/2015 10:08 PM
32
We are normal people
6/26/2015 10:03 PM
33
Our history
6/26/2015 8:53 PM
34
We are all different generalizations are hard.
6/26/2015 7:45 PM
35
their sense of not belonging
6/26/2015 7:10 PM
36
not a problem
6/26/2015 6:53 PM
37
I wish people would understand that it is detrimental to MKs when their experiences or connection to a culture
other than their passport country is discredited or minimized.
6/26/2015 6:10 PM
38
We're not that different after all.
6/26/2015 6:05 PM
39
Their need for people to give them time to try to understand them and care enough to ask about differences in
culture
6/26/2015 5:31 PM
40
We do think differently. We don't always get the jokes or cultural references but we are great sources for
understanding life beyond your city or neighborhood.
6/26/2015 4:57 PM
41
We don't think we're better than anyone else just because we've had cross cultural experiences . We crave
friendship and acceptance . Be patient and get to know us.
6/26/2015 2:40 PM
42
Parents have choosen the missionary life OVER their kids
6/26/2015 1:24 PM
43
The need to recognize the differences exist.
6/26/2015 12:02 PM
44
We are normal people!
6/26/2015 10:19 AM
45
We're not perfect
6/26/2015 9:45 AM
46
When returning, people should should be more interested in the experiences of MKs, rather than having trouble
relating with them due to the different world view.
6/26/2015 9:34 AM
47
there is more to us than meets the eye. we may look white but we relate to other ethnicities.
6/26/2015 8:37 AM
48
MKs are not mini-adults. They should not be missionaries, but kids.
6/26/2015 6:58 AM
49
that I am not (was not) much different from anyone else.
6/26/2015 6:47 AM
50
No they probably haven't seen that movie and that's OK.
6/26/2015 6:45 AM
51
We're far from being a single demographic. There are huge differences in our personal experiences, our coping
strategies and our lifestyles.
6/26/2015 6:21 AM
52
Sometimes when we come across as arrogant, we are really very insecure and just trying to fit in (to be known, to
do the right thing).
6/26/2015 5:35 AM
53
Yes we did grow
6/26/2015 4:31 AM
54
i don't think it's possible for them to understand, but show incredible compassion. interest, sensitivity, and love. be
genuine.
6/26/2015 3:59 AM
55
The reason why I am not good in building lasting relationships.
6/26/2015 3:14 AM
56
That they like to have stability
6/26/2015 2:53 AM
57
They are immigrants everywhere they are
6/26/2015 2:24 AM
58
We are not all perfect, but also not all rebellious.
6/26/2015 2:11 AM
59
We're just as vulnerable to sin as everyone else.
6/26/2015 2:05 AM
120 / 157
SurveyMonkey
60
I wish people would stop thinking it's awesome whenever I have to say where I'm from. This is just a life for me. I
think it's awesome, but hopefully everyone feel that way about their own home town(s); they don't all need to say
it about mine.
6/26/2015 2:04 AM
61
Their lack of identity and struggle to belong
6/26/2015 1:41 AM
62
pretty much everything!!
6/26/2015 1:18 AM
63
We have many unique things to offer......if you look past our quirks
6/26/2015 12:02 AM
64
I just wish they would ask and act more interested.
6/25/2015 11:50 PM
65
We may be different and it's not only ok but we have a unique perspective on life.
6/25/2015 11:47 PM
66
Just because we've traveled a lot doesn't mean our parents are rich!
6/25/2015 11:46 PM
67
It's a lonely lifestyle, serving God is the parents' choice, the kids are easily pushed aside
6/25/2015 11:39 PM
68
I was not deprived of anything by growing up overseas.
6/25/2015 11:22 PM
69
HO wnormal we really are, and yet, what an impact two (or more) cultures does as they combine into one soul.
6/25/2015 11:12 PM
70
They have to adjust to more than one culture on varying levels of influence
6/25/2015 10:53 PM
71
The book cover is not what is inside.
6/25/2015 10:50 PM
72
we're not all that weird
6/25/2015 10:46 PM
73
the anxiety I experience from seperation
6/25/2015 10:39 PM
74
Yes, we may have lived our lives over seas, yet not know the language.
6/25/2015 10:32 PM
75
The things they had to go through is what made them so independent.
6/25/2015 10:14 PM
76
My folks are/were the missionaries; I was along for the ride because I was too young to leave behind.
6/25/2015 9:53 PM
77
We don't fit into a mould
6/25/2015 9:47 PM
78
How we feel as outsiders.
6/25/2015 9:31 PM
79
We aren't broken just because we don't believe what our parents do
6/25/2015 9:29 PM
80
Intelligence and maturity need to be cultured rather than singled out
6/25/2015 9:17 PM
81
They have reasons to be sad
6/25/2015 9:06 PM
82
Not all mms are screwed up
6/25/2015 8:45 PM
83
We're just people. Just kids who had no say in what was going on.
6/25/2015 8:42 PM
84
ow hard it is to establish a real, deep relationship, and how rewarding it can be.
6/25/2015 8:36 PM
85
Their world view is extremely valuable to them.
6/25/2015 8:31 PM
86
Hard to generalize, never really struggled with this
6/25/2015 8:19 PM
87
It's hard to fit in when everyone expects so much from us
6/25/2015 8:14 PM
88
If you're going to get to know me, you'll have to understand a few things about being an MK. It's OK to ask.
6/25/2015 8:08 PM
89
MKsare not from Mars.
6/25/2015 8:01 PM
90
We're not perfect. We are human just like everyone else.
6/25/2015 7:59 PM
91
being willing to listen to us talk about our past is very important.
6/25/2015 7:45 PM
92
We are imperfect humans like everyone else.
6/25/2015 7:44 PM
93
They need help understanding themselves.
6/25/2015 7:33 PM
94
We want to be asked questions and understood
6/25/2015 7:31 PM
95
We are very interesting if you'd just listen and not turn away
6/25/2015 7:21 PM
96
We're people just like you, and we crave relationships.
6/25/2015 7:19 PM
121 / 157
SurveyMonkey
97
They are not all one personality, nor should they be 'grateful' for their experiences.
6/25/2015 7:15 PM
98
we're normal, we want to belong, surface talk is hard
6/25/2015 7:07 PM
99
We are "know-it-alls" or perfect, we just have a broader world view and want to share it with others.
6/25/2015 6:53 PM
100
That talking about the many places around the world I got to stay in and the variety of experience these alone is
not a bragging session...hurt by the responses here in the UK of 'as you do' when sharing about an experience
which here sounds exotic...
6/25/2015 6:48 PM
101
Wishing to be normal with a place and people to call home in passport country
6/25/2015 6:48 PM
102
Our confidence and ability to flex to different cultures, social groups and personalities is an asset, not a threat or
'problem'.
6/25/2015 6:47 PM
103
They are not perfect Christians and they probably hate pretending like they are
6/25/2015 6:41 PM
104
We are normal people with different experiences and different personalities and needs. Sometimes I believe MKs
have issues that are blamed o. Boarding school but are actually just a part of their personality and character.
They may have turned out the same way if they had stayed in the U.S. And fine to a public school.
6/25/2015 6:22 PM
105
We aren't our parents
6/25/2015 5:55 PM
106
Commitments are hard to make
6/25/2015 4:07 PM
107
We are not perfect
6/25/2015 3:59 PM
108
that identity is a complex thing and ml identity more than most
6/25/2015 2:41 PM
109
Nothing
6/25/2015 2:19 PM
110
When back in parents' home culture, MKs are foreigners, immigrants, even though they look and sound the
same as the surrounding culture....leading to more realistic expectations on the part of home-country peers.
6/25/2015 1:52 PM
111
Being an MK means different things to different people. Some MKs do not know a second language--let's not
scorn people who are not the perfect picture of the international adventurer
6/25/2015 1:25 PM
112
They need a lot of love
6/25/2015 12:29 PM
113
We need, long for, and crave deep relationships. We go deep quickly, so please don't be superficial with us. It's
hurts, and we don't take relationships lightly.
6/25/2015 12:10 PM
114
that most of the time we are hurting and struggling with bagage. we are not perfect missionary kids that have our
lives together
6/25/2015 12:03 PM
115
Their background and how it affected them and is different from theirs
6/25/2015 12:02 PM
116
That we are just like other people; nothing special or more spiritual -- we're sinners saved by grace just like
everyone else
6/25/2015 10:58 AM
117
We live in a world without all of the luxuries and choices. We are like foreigners in our own land .
6/25/2015 10:47 AM
118
Want the same things as other kids...
6/25/2015 10:18 AM
119
They are not typical Americans
6/25/2015 10:10 AM
120
We are just regular people with the same needs and wants. We have a ing and tested relationship with the Lord
but we are not "super-spiritual" - we were just kids, living our lives, figuring out our place in the world.
6/25/2015 9:55 AM
121
We are not better than other people, and we want to have close friendships, too.
6/25/2015 9:40 AM
122
we tend to live in the present...strong friendships where we are, and when we leave, we may not keep in close
connection, but when we return, wr will pick up the relationship right where we Left off and its good.
6/25/2015 9:24 AM
123
Their need for friends and belonging when visiting passport country.
6/25/2015 8:03 AM
124
We are people, not ministry artifacts, demigods, nor devils. We have to make the same journey as everyone else.
If anything we are the fractured living sacrifices of a noble work, seemingly flawed creatures who are still
destined for a purpose.
6/25/2015 7:53 AM
125
no idea!
6/25/2015 7:41 AM
126
We are normal people too :)
6/25/2015 7:12 AM
122 / 157
SurveyMonkey
127
They are not meant to be angels, they are maturing humans with similar but often deeper problems than their own
youngsters.
6/25/2015 6:26 AM
128
Accept the fact that we will not fit in culturally with the country of our birth
6/25/2015 2:18 AM
129
We really are a blend of worlds - and our hearts are in many places.
6/25/2015 2:03 AM
130
People are people
6/25/2015 12:23 AM
131
They have strong desires and experiences they want to talk about that just don't fit into normal conversations.
6/24/2015 11:46 PM
132
That we aren't all weird
6/24/2015 11:43 PM
133
we're scared to need people
6/24/2015 11:42 PM
134
Their value
6/24/2015 11:18 PM
135
We might react a little differently to cultural things, but, we really do love our "home" country. All of them. ;-)
6/24/2015 10:39 PM
136
That we are neither 100% our passport culture, nor 100% our host country culture. Also, I wish people
understood that growing up as an MK doesn't mean we are perfect - we are often put on a pedestal, but we are
human and make mistakes just like everyone else.
6/24/2015 10:27 PM
137
It's a great life.
6/24/2015 9:38 PM
138
They are normal people.
6/24/2015 9:22 PM
139
we struggle more with world events and the impact a news story can make
6/24/2015 8:16 PM
140
That though they grew up in a different culture they are still a normal human being.
6/24/2015 8:08 PM
141
we eventually have to find our non-MK identity
6/24/2015 7:49 PM
142
We are not necessarily religious. I don't want to have to justify my lack of faith
6/24/2015 6:53 PM
143
In spite of our unique experience, we saw are ourselves normal.
6/24/2015 6:31 PM
144
We may really dislike the US and that's ok
6/24/2015 6:22 PM
145
We look at things differently but it is ok
6/24/2015 5:59 PM
146
That we have a lot to offer if they'd just take the time to listen or care
6/24/2015 5:48 PM
147
I'm not sure that it's other people's job to better understand us.
6/24/2015 5:30 PM
148
We need love and acceptance after we leave or parents on the field. it felt like even my own mission board forgot
about me. I was 17 and they (supporters and mission) had done their duty.
6/24/2015 5:24 PM
149
the mixed up emotions that come with it
6/24/2015 5:10 PM
150
Nothing
6/24/2015 5:04 PM
151
That we are third culture kids - not totally north american nor totally from the culture we were born & raised in.
6/24/2015 4:45 PM
152
Not sure
6/24/2015 4:42 PM
153
Missionaries are people; people have relationship, abuse, & other problems where ever they are; kids are highly
resilient and adaptive, given quality oversight, either by parents or 'fillins'. Either or both can be lacking in those
skills. How the MK copes with their circumstances is also likely how they would cope(as a unique individual) in
other circumstances even if they were NOT MKs.
6/24/2015 4:39 PM
154
We are just trying to figure out where we fit in.
6/24/2015 4:35 PM
155
how we want to belong (and often can gain trappings of a group quickly)
6/24/2015 4:34 PM
156
their familiarity with the ugly "underside" of missions
6/24/2015 3:53 PM
157
We have a hard time belonging
6/24/2015 3:49 PM
158
We love more places than the USA
6/24/2015 3:49 PM
159
we are a culture unto ourselves
6/24/2015 3:45 PM
160
They are really different, but have great value.
6/24/2015 3:41 PM
123 / 157
SurveyMonkey
161
nothing
6/24/2015 3:25 PM
162
We are great
6/24/2015 3:22 PM
163
they don't mean to be nosy or direct, they just don't know how much time they will have to get to know you!
6/24/2015 3:00 PM
164
They may look so sure and easy about everything, but inside they may be really hurt.
6/24/2015 2:23 PM
165
why many of us are so cynical
6/24/2015 2:17 PM
166
Just because you grew up as an MK doesn't mean you're perfect!
6/24/2015 2:13 PM
167
MKs belong relationally--which means when absent we still feel a sense of belonging with you, even though
we're gone.
6/24/2015 1:10 PM
168
We sometimes react out of our insecurities, just like everybody else!
6/24/2015 11:40 AM
169
Don;t want to be treated differently.
6/24/2015 9:52 AM
170
No matter how old you get, it never leaves you
6/24/2015 9:35 AM
171
That on the one hand I am just like everyone else but also that I have a harder time with some things...
6/24/2015 9:11 AM
172
That we don't all live in the jungle.
6/24/2015 8:19 AM
173
We need friends too.
6/24/2015 8:15 AM
174
we want to share our experiences with you...even if you can't relate or don't understand. Let us talk!
6/24/2015 7:48 AM
175
We don't belong on a pedestal.
6/24/2015 7:15 AM
176
I'm not stuck up, I'm actually trying to understand, I'd like to fit in
6/24/2015 6:14 AM
177
That they have some cultural differences that are hard to explain.
6/24/2015 4:27 AM
178
??
6/24/2015 4:02 AM
179
This is true of people in general but learn to ask MKs (and really anybody) good questions and listen to the
answers! It is healing and helpful in seeking to build a relationship of any kind.
6/24/2015 3:56 AM
180
they are deeply caring and dependable people
6/24/2015 3:07 AM
181
We like to be pursued in relationships. Often as the outsider and the exotic entity we are supposed to initiate
relationships but we need people to approach us and smash our intimidating facade.
6/24/2015 2:31 AM
182
Lack of shame.
6/24/2015 1:50 AM
183
That they don't have to perform or be on show when you return to your home-land.
6/24/2015 12:17 AM
184
We may not always know all the social rules when we are on home assignment and because we have our norms
based in the country we are currently residing or it's a mix of our cultural experiences.
6/24/2015 12:03 AM
185
We need a lot of reassurance.
6/23/2015 11:51 PM
186
That we are not that different than anyone else.
6/23/2015 11:27 PM
187
We want to be loved, enjoyed and included unconditionally.
6/23/2015 11:18 PM
188
All we go through as kids. We aren't whining for no reason. We've been through awful things without the support
lots of other people et or even the support we watched our parents give other people who were hurting.
6/23/2015 10:26 PM
189
That they did not choose the life they are in.
6/23/2015 10:24 PM
190
Some of us are normal in social settings
6/23/2015 10:19 PM
191
He is part us part other
6/23/2015 9:56 PM
192
we like new things too; not just hand me downs
6/23/2015 9:33 PM
193
They are just as uncomfortable around you as you are with them, but they are like most other people just with
other, different, experiences.
6/23/2015 9:22 PM
194
We need love
6/23/2015 9:19 PM
124 / 157
SurveyMonkey
195
that we are normal people
6/23/2015 8:40 PM
196
They feel like they don't fit in and need help.
6/23/2015 5:56 PM
197
That they may have cultural differences.
6/23/2015 4:03 PM
198
how differently we view life
6/23/2015 1:04 PM
199
that we are normal people. Going to another country didn't make us more spiritual.
6/23/2015 12:16 PM
200
That we're not all the same, and that our experiences are vastly different depending on a wide variety of factors
(where were we? Europe or the Amazon? Did we get picked up and dropped in an unfamiliar mission field at 15,
or did we grow up in our host country & form a deep attachment to it? Or did we grow up in a third-culture bubble
or compound situation & attach to relationships there instead? Etc, etc.) (BTW a survey on the topic could stand a
few questions about these factors, depending on what the goal is) I think people could stand to remember that the
best way to know someone's experience is to ask them. Due to moving in circles mostly unfamiliar with the term
MK now, I just tell people where I grew up and that my parents were missionaries there, and then they tend to
ask me questions about the country & how I liked it there. I appreciate that. The few times I've gotten the Oh so
you're an MK, was it terribly hard? response I have found it extremely frustrating. It makes it a lot harder to have
a conversation when you start like that.
6/23/2015 10:27 AM
201
The damage done to your kids in the name of your beliefs, not letting your kids have the freedom to explore other
beliefs
6/22/2015 1:07 PM
202
We are just normal people like anyone who have good qualities and strengths and also our weaknesses and
brokenness like everyone else. Yes, we might be given some unique challenges which shapes us into unique or
awkward people but in reality, we are all the same.
6/22/2015 9:57 AM
203
We have been though more than the normal person
6/21/2015 2:33 AM
204
Can't think of anything right now
6/20/2015 11:44 PM
205
People can't understand....
6/20/2015 10:00 PM
206
In my opinion, I think we tend to judge people very fast and once we've subconsciously allocated people in our
'probably not useful/compatible/or may hurt us' category, it's very difficult to take them out of there so we either
avoid them for the rest of the unforeseeable time we've left in the place we're living in or attempt to get closer to
them but end up proving to yourself that your initial impression was correct. So, I think we know when we spot
people who may hurt us from a mile out.
6/20/2015 1:39 PM
207
my Christian role models are and always will be Japanese Christians who are often so on-fire for God even when
it means being rejected by community and family. Americans are not "better" Christians and should be focusing
on equipping local Christian leaders to serve their own communities. But I love being an MK! and when I tell you
I'm from Japan it's because I have no other place I can identify from home. Not because I want to brag or
overshare.
6/20/2015 12:41 PM
208
They need support and understanding in the stressful transition.
6/20/2015 8:03 AM
209
Just because I/we feel restless (whether always or occasionally) it doesn't mean we don't love and appreciate
the people in our life today.
6/20/2015 6:14 AM
210
We feel connected to more than one nationality and that's okay.
6/19/2015 10:37 PM
211
We just want to be loved and valued. We want you to try and be friends with us.
6/19/2015 9:49 PM
212
The words "home", "foreign", and "overseas" are very complicated
6/19/2015 10:15 AM
213
Can't tell. I feel that people don't understand each other too well in general. It does not concern only MK's.
6/19/2015 9:42 AM
214
If you would just take the time to get to know me, you'd see I'm worth knowing
6/19/2015 9:37 AM
215
We are between two worlds and it takes time to adjust.
6/19/2015 9:23 AM
216
Normal kids, normal problems, not immune to life...but extraordinary circumstances
6/19/2015 8:32 AM
217
They are largely misunderstood by everyone. No one knows how to interact with them and most of the time they
don't get along with their peers. We don't understand them as much as they don't understand us.
6/19/2015 6:21 AM
218
They are not the ones that felt God's call--they were just dragged along for the ride and have to survive the
experience the best way they know how.
6/18/2015 8:51 PM
125 / 157
SurveyMonkey
219
Culture is everything
6/18/2015 5:10 PM
220
we are not trying to seem special if we tell about our past.
6/18/2015 4:08 PM
221
The inconsistency of life as they knew it and how that affected what they took in media wise and how it affected
relationships.
6/18/2015 3:53 PM
222
Adjustment will usually happen. Give them time.
6/18/2015 3:49 PM
223
Not all of them are the same
6/18/2015 1:15 PM
224
They will probably think and talk and act in ways you don't understand, because they've had experiences you
don't understand. Just be patient and cut them some slack, because they're trying to do the same for you. You
can be friends in spite of your differences, if you allow some extra grace for each other.
6/18/2015 11:36 AM
225
we want to be understood, but we don't want to be treated as different, even though we are
6/18/2015 11:12 AM
226
How much we have to offer as people; how to befriend us.
6/18/2015 10:32 AM
227
They have profound abilities to talk with many groups of people.
6/18/2015 10:26 AM
228
They are not super kids
6/18/2015 9:59 AM
229
They are culturally very different from the way they appear and are assumed to be. An acquaintance recently said
about a discussion we were having, "a lot of this I look at through the prism of my youth." For me the "prism of my
youth" is completely disconnected from and irrelevant to my life today. Our teenage children said, "my parents
grew up in Africa and don't think like other Americans." They recognized that both their family and the missionary
community are different cultures both from America and the church.
6/18/2015 9:52 AM
230
We are people too, regardless of my parent's gig peddling God oversees
6/18/2015 9:18 AM
231
We can't all be lumped into one category... I'm very different from many MKs I know
6/18/2015 8:48 AM
232
we are pretty human, but once a MK it stays with you for life
6/18/2015 8:16 AM
233
I wish people understood that being an MK becomes a deeply rooted part of a person's identity for the rest of their
lives.
6/18/2015 7:18 AM
234
our internal identity may be very different from how we look
6/18/2015 5:31 AM
235
I don't fit the stereotypical christian world view.
6/18/2015 3:51 AM
236
that country of birth is not home
6/18/2015 2:19 AM
237
that w're not "cooler" just have a different experience
6/18/2015 2:04 AM
238
We want to be understood and listened to
6/18/2015 1:56 AM
239
They have low self-esteem and need encouragement, even after growing up.
6/18/2015 12:28 AM
240
That nowhere ever feel a like home. That when they go on furlough it feels like the most stressful time. We don't
feel like we are home, but everyone expects us to be happy and so grateful to be there. It is so difficult to know
how to relate to them and they don't know how to relate to us. So, I felt like if I ever did go to my passport country
I felt like I fell through the cracks.
6/17/2015 11:43 PM
241
We have a different point of view than Joe Schmoe. We also cannot answer all the questions about per capita
income, etc. of the couintry we grew up in. Can YOU answer them about the USA?!
6/17/2015 11:37 PM
242
that we're different, and it's ok.
6/17/2015 10:40 PM
243
1) Mks do not have control over their experiences. Please try to be jealous of us, it's sometimes the only life we
have ever lived. 2) Please understand that we are not trying to snub non-MKs, we simply need each other to
maneuver through the new culture and experiences we go through in college and when we re-enter or enter our
passport and non-passport college experience
6/17/2015 10:38 PM
244
Not all MKs grew up in rural or third world environments.
6/17/2015 10:38 PM
245
We have different thought patterns.
6/17/2015 10:16 PM
246
We don't feel like we belong.
6/17/2015 9:04 PM
247
you cannot understand. Don't assume you do, because you cannot without being in these very shoes (this goes
even from one MK to another)
6/17/2015 8:37 PM
126 / 157
SurveyMonkey
248
Be a bit more interested in our life story
6/17/2015 7:12 PM
249
Being different is a good thing and not a reason for ostracizing someone
6/17/2015 6:38 PM
250
We aren't all the same.
6/17/2015 6:22 PM
251
there is so much more than "what you see is what you get". I'm a pretty "open book" type of person, but because
there are so many layers to my life, it is really hard I think for any one person to really know me well. Other
MKs/TCKs understand that. But I can tell I'm sort of an enigma to my mono-cultural friends.
6/17/2015 4:35 PM
252
When you are a Third culture kids you never really belong anywhere
6/17/2015 4:12 PM
253
That we can't be pigeonholed into a box (cliche, right?)
6/17/2015 3:57 PM
254
Some experiences are normal for MKs (grief, etc.) and should not be seen as abnormal behavior to counselors.
6/17/2015 3:29 PM
255
I'm different. I wish people would stop finding cliques to push me into and terms to call me that fit their
understanding rather than trying to broaden their understanding. I wish they would stop comparing me to them
and just learn something new for a change instead.
6/17/2015 3:22 PM
256
we might not understand everything, and yes the toothpaste isle still freaks me out, why are there so many
options?
6/17/2015 3:22 PM
257
They are hidden immigrants.
6/16/2015 3:05 PM
258
Even after being back in the States for 25 years I still make cultural missteps and I struggle with teaching my
daughter the culture
6/16/2015 9:53 AM
259
Our perspective is not passport-country-focussed. We may not even think of it as home.
6/16/2015 8:55 AM
260
I'm used to low-maintenance friends--people who will still be close when you haven't seen them in months or
years. Having to keep up with friends daily or weekly is overwhelming.
6/16/2015 8:24 AM
261
We look the same, but have lived very differently
6/16/2015 7:12 AM
262
God has given us experiences to build up the whole church, so please don't ignore when we try and rebuke part
of the culture. (But also please rebuke me when I step over the line) I'd rather be criticised than ignored!
6/16/2015 5:14 AM
263
That it's not their fault I can't trust their commitment to our relationship.
6/15/2015 10:22 PM
264
Who we are - lack of understanding, interest and empathy from others
6/15/2015 9:42 PM
265
The need to feel accepted and included unconditionally.
6/15/2015 8:05 PM
266
that we are normal and sharing our stories or experiences is just like them sharing theirs, we just want to be
heard, not trying to shock anyone, just listen and pretend its normal.
6/15/2015 3:37 PM
267
Beeing sensitiv and encourage them
6/15/2015 12:52 PM
268
we are normal people too, it does have a huge impact on us and it be good for people to recognise that, but we
are more then just an MK
6/15/2015 8:21 AM
269
each MK has had a different experience. We are not the same.
6/15/2015 1:53 AM
270
We're not perfect.
6/14/2015 9:50 PM
271
That the affects of growing up in another country affect most everything about me, and will for my whole life. it is
NOT somethign that you just "get over"
6/14/2015 9:31 PM
272
Probably that they are not as tied to places as home as they are to people with whom they feel at home. I have
no home to go back to.
6/14/2015 8:53 PM
273
We have the same emotions as everyone else.
6/14/2015 6:17 PM
274
Sometimes they need help switching from their "home" country to their "passport" country. Sometimes that help
will be emotional help, but often it's just helping them find a job, car, etc. They've also been super tight with their
family, so starting life alone can be tough. Often their identity is their family, so in a new environment, they need
a group to identify with.
6/14/2015 6:16 PM
127 / 157
SurveyMonkey
275
The only people we fit in with are people who don't fit in. That's our common ground. We need the same cultural
leniency that you would give to a foreigner in your country, yet the ecceptance you would offer a "normal" person.
We are a unique combination of culture that leaves us essentially with no native culture or just an other culture.
MKs fit in together because they are part of that "other" "3rd" culture.
6/14/2015 6:04 PM
276
MKs are just normal kids
6/14/2015 2:20 PM
277
I see everything with two sets of "eyes". I understand life through the eyes of the culture I am living in. I know it is
not "the only way to live". I also see life through the eyes of other cultures. What others sides rube as odd or
stupid I just see as another way of doing things.
6/14/2015 10:29 AM
278
We may look American but culturally, we are not.
6/14/2015 10:28 AM
279
Sometimes, MKs want to be acknowledged that they are unique, then move on and treat them like everyone else.
6/14/2015 9:20 AM
280
there's a lot going on internally
6/14/2015 9:09 AM
281
Not sure
6/14/2015 8:33 AM
282
we we act out or are naughty it is often a cry for help
6/14/2015 8:08 AM
283
Mk's are a mix of cultures and places. We may not know all of the cultural references and may ask what seems
like stupid qustions, but we have a wealth of knowledge about other things that we would love to share of people
are willing to really listen.
6/14/2015 7:24 AM
284
The stress that missions has on the family dynamics. We are people too with problems.
6/13/2015 10:22 PM
285
We're not all rock-solid in our beliefs or in our self-confidence.
6/13/2015 9:48 PM
286
That they are 3rd culture people, not just MKs
6/13/2015 9:17 PM
287
My experiences have changed me-I'm not better or worse than you, but I am different. If you want to know me,
ask about my life before moving back.
6/13/2015 6:55 PM
288
We are individuals, and are not all the same. We are not perfect, and see the world differently and may approach
friendships and relationships differently
6/13/2015 6:41 PM
289
We need help making sense of our lives.
6/13/2015 5:03 PM
290
they are a product of their circumstances, with very little control, as are most kids,
6/13/2015 4:01 PM
291
We are normal people--just people who have had different experiences.
6/13/2015 3:27 PM
292
how they relate
6/13/2015 3:07 PM
293
We are different!
6/13/2015 2:19 PM
294
We're varied!--one size does not fit all. Also, it's not a horrible thing to grow up with parents who are missionaries,
as many of my secular friends assume.
6/13/2015 12:38 PM
295
Be willing to stick with it through the long haul
6/13/2015 11:59 AM
296
We want to talk about our experiences
6/13/2015 11:58 AM
297
I have more to say than just things related to my MK life.
6/13/2015 10:50 AM
298
I think mk's are patronized and treated like ignorant people who've missed out on a lot when they return home,
and they're often teased by kids in their new foreign homes - people should just treat them the same as they treat
each other - like Temple Grandin, we are different but equal, lol!
6/13/2015 10:48 AM
299
Mks are not perfect, they are human too and want to be treated the same (not better and not worse)
6/13/2015 7:07 AM
300
we are no different than them, just different experiences.
6/12/2015 5:42 PM
301
we are not "special" or different from kids in the US inherently, just affected by circumstances
6/12/2015 2:59 PM
302
that we have life experiences totally different from most people of the same passport, and that that matters to us.
6/12/2015 2:05 PM
303
that even though they may look and dress like everybody else in your neighborhood, they do not think the same
way and may sometimes send want seem to be "confusing" cultural cues due to a difference in culture.
6/12/2015 7:12 AM
304
Its not a disadvantage growing up in a foreign country. Its a privilege and an opportunity for growth.
6/12/2015 6:42 AM
128 / 157
SurveyMonkey
305
They are more likely to "get" -- to understand and empathize with -- other MKs.
6/12/2015 4:11 AM
306
I'm not sure.
6/11/2015 11:37 PM
307
We aren't perfect because we grew up in church and you don't have to be afraid to act normal in front of us.
6/11/2015 10:43 PM
308
We're not all that different.
6/11/2015 10:42 PM
309
We are no different than anyone else. Being an MK for me was like being the new kid at school continuously. You
either got snubbed or put up on a pedestal very rarely were we accepted for who we were.
6/11/2015 9:27 PM
310
That I am not stereotypical. I have a story worth getting to k ow and seeking to understand. It's not cookie cutter.
Also, that we need time and patience. We need them to be friendly even as we need to do so. We should
constructively embrace differences and similarities and be able to own our stories and personalities though adapt
and be molded by God as needed!
6/11/2015 8:41 PM
311
It does matter to know what and how to ask the questions and listen for the story - "it will be as short as I can
make it, I know you're probably not truly interested, but maybe you'll hold space with me."
6/11/2015 8:36 PM
312
We are still people, not "deprived," not guaranteed to be missionaries or to be maladjusted. We are people like
they are and long for acceptance and community.
6/11/2015 7:52 PM
313
They are more or less normal people with a different set of experiences
6/11/2015 4:07 PM
314
It can be hard to make friends
6/11/2015 12:17 PM
315
Not all of us like our host country more than our passport country(or vic versa)
6/11/2015 11:24 AM
316
they have many gifts, but they also have many scars from many losses.
6/11/2015 10:57 AM
317
We can just be all in one place when our hearts have big chunks of them spread all over.
6/11/2015 9:25 AM
318
We need purpose and we need to travel and we can't be forced into a box. We can compromise but we need
people who can understand this and try to be supportive in it.
6/11/2015 4:07 AM
319
Sending your children to boarding school full time for anything under high school is a dumb idea. It is also a
dumb missions policy. Missionaries are called first to their families, then to those they are reaching. This principle
was lost in misguided zeal in a lot of mission agencies in the late 20th century. Parents should also be aware that
the location of the first several years of life for a child will most likely be their primary cultural identity because of
the intensity of biological development in that stage of life. Parents should put more emphasis on timing their
missions around the development of their children.
6/10/2015 11:03 PM
320
the constant grief of losing loved ones from moving and the lack of a 'home' or sense of belonging and community
6/10/2015 10:11 PM
321
we're as varied as the human race
6/10/2015 4:10 PM
322
I am normal, I'm just different. If you ask me about it, be ready for a long conversation full of confusion
6/10/2015 4:08 PM
323
That the commoners are culturally inferior
6/10/2015 3:09 PM
324
We think saying things like "When I was in Thailand" or "My friend in Peru" is normal. It is for us.
6/10/2015 2:44 PM
325
Seems like people are getting hit over the head with understanding MKs....I think that makes it a bit harder to
assimilate from both sides.
6/10/2015 2:11 PM
326
That we are all different, I guess. And that we have complex relationships with our missionary past, and religious
upbringing.
6/10/2015 12:56 PM
327
How much is mixed - mixed emotions, mixed cultural identities. It's not clear cut or easily explained.
6/10/2015 12:53 PM
328
Life was just as "normal" for me as with back in the USA
6/10/2015 12:28 PM
329
They desire to relate some part of who they are and what they know without feeling like others are threatened or
uninterested
6/10/2015 12:26 PM
330
I want to talk about my experiences as an MK. I want to share about the places I've been and the things I've
seen, because without knowing those things about me, one cannot get to know me.
6/10/2015 12:12 PM
331
we're not all the same.
6/10/2015 11:52 AM
332
that the world does not revolve around the US, lol, and therefore there are other things to experience around the
world that are different. :-)
6/10/2015 11:46 AM
129 / 157
SurveyMonkey
333
that their struggle is real and active. MKs hide it so well.
6/10/2015 11:43 AM
334
We are probably a little more complex than some...our views are usually different, etc
6/10/2015 11:40 AM
335
No, we're not better. Yes, we're different. No, you don't understand where we're coming from, and vise versa.
You listen to me, I listen to you. Let's be friends.
6/10/2015 11:36 AM
336
We have a thousand stories. We're actually holding back by just telling you one or two.
6/10/2015 10:58 AM
337
not all of them are Bible bangers
6/10/2015 10:51 AM
338
Your life as an MK becomes normal, there's nothing magical or special about it. It is life, and as such it is home,
and really hard to leave behind.
6/10/2015 10:23 AM
339
They are different in ways that aren't necessarily visible.
6/10/2015 10:09 AM
340
They may look "at home" in their passport country but still feel very different.
6/10/2015 8:57 AM
341
they never feel like they are part of the "in" group
6/10/2015 8:34 AM
342
I'm not "showing off" by knowing more about some things than other people do, it's just the experience I've had
6/10/2015 8:23 AM
343
That the way we see life is different.
6/10/2015 8:11 AM
344
We have maturity levels beyond our peers.
6/10/2015 7:56 AM
345
They are normal kids, need friendship and definitely a HOME away from home when in College in the USA. I had
that after my first year of high school in the USA.
6/10/2015 7:34 AM
346
That when we act in ways that seem culturally inappropriate, we're probably not being rude on purpose. We think
that we're acting in culturally appropriate ways, and generally we are -- in a culture that's not the one we're in
right now. Keeping multiple sets of rules in your head can be tricky; while I do tend to adapt pretty easily, I also
always seem to make a blunder or two in the process. It really helps me a LOT when people are understanding
about it, and explain to me what cultural norm I've just transgressed rather than assuming that I already knew the
rule and broke it on purpose.
6/10/2015 7:25 AM
347
We are different, but that's OK
6/10/2015 7:12 AM
348
That we aren't exotic or special...we just have had lots of international experiences that have shaped who we are,
and we are thankful for those experiences. But it doesn't mean we devalue
6/10/2015 6:46 AM
349
Some MKs (Jr High or older) really can benefit from being away from parents at a boarding school
6/10/2015 4:26 AM
350
We are not weird.
6/10/2015 3:48 AM
351
Again, I got nothing.
6/10/2015 3:35 AM
352
MKs are not your ordinary people, so please don't act like you understand everything we're going through when
you really have no concept of it.
6/10/2015 3:25 AM
353
They may get along with everyone but it doesn't mean they feel understood
6/10/2015 3:21 AM
354
Different does not mean better or worse, just different.
6/10/2015 2:32 AM
355
That we have seen and experienced a heck of a lot more than the average joe and we aren't all that dumb, even
though we are ignorant to some cultural aspects of our home country.
6/10/2015 2:04 AM
356
Who I am is not who I look like
6/10/2015 1:38 AM
357
We are not emotional criples! We are normal People who have had more life experience than Others our age
6/10/2015 1:20 AM
358
We do find it difficult to fit in sometimes
6/10/2015 1:17 AM
359
We're not all damaged. We may be a bit complicated and take a while to figure that out, but we're just kids like
anybody else. Our so called crazy experiences or all those countries we lived in are normal to us. We're not
trying to brag when we talk about our experiences. We're just trying to relate and share the things we know and
have experienced.
6/10/2015 12:11 AM
360
the losses
6/10/2015 12:10 AM
361
Not all are the same
6/10/2015 12:05 AM
362
Perhaps more than many others, we almost need to be invited back into experiences in our home culture.
6/9/2015 11:36 PM
130 / 157
SurveyMonkey
363
Not all of us crave cross-cultural experiences
6/9/2015 11:09 PM
364
How hard it is to always feel like your in transition and never having permanence or a really common
background.
6/9/2015 11:03 PM
365
we are still just average people with a broad view of the world, not people to be put up on pedestals.
6/9/2015 10:54 PM
366
We can do anything we want to do, most MK's don't realize this either.
6/9/2015 10:32 PM
367
We're a diverse group. Can't speak for everyone. For me, living and working in a secular setting- I don't like
coming back to big Christian events because of expectations.
6/9/2015 10:25 PM
368
Sometimes they just need someone to listen, to hear their pain, to weep with them like Jesus did, and then be
vulnerable with them too.
6/9/2015 10:22 PM
369
MKs don't choose to go, and they aren't "wow, that must have been interesting" people. Life is what you're dealt,
wherever you happen to grow up.
6/9/2015 10:16 PM
370
we are sinners in need of grace, just like others. We are not born missionaries and we cannot be missionaries
without personal conviction of sharing the gospel!
6/9/2015 9:57 PM
371
That MK experiences differ immensely. There are common themes/threads of being an MK, but not all MKs go
through the same thing.
6/9/2015 9:53 PM
372
That they want to "belong" but their ranges of experiences and sometimes maturity will always make them feel
"different", not better, just different.
6/9/2015 9:49 PM
373
That we value material things less, for the very reason that we grew up with so little. We don't buy into the
"American Dream" because we feel so rich compared to what we grew up with.
6/9/2015 9:46 PM
374
we are not going to be exactly like you
6/9/2015 9:35 PM
375
Not all godly Christians
6/9/2015 9:32 PM
376
We don't talk about our countries to brag, we talk about them because we are trying to help them understand
who we are and why we do things a certain way
6/9/2015 9:20 PM
377
It never goes away. You and everyone around you can ignore it, but it leaves an ache behind all your
experiences and relationships.
6/9/2015 9:11 PM
378
We're not freaks
6/9/2015 8:54 PM
379
That we are not against them. Having different opinions has put me on the outs with a lot of people.
6/9/2015 8:48 PM
380
We're not trying to pry or be creepy in our initial conversations with you. We just like to go deep.
6/9/2015 8:46 PM
381
They are not "americans"
6/9/2015 8:44 PM
382
We are really bad at keeping in touch but we never forget the people we had friendships with and will pick back
up right where we left off if we ever get to meet again.
6/9/2015 8:41 PM
383
We can't help being different; our live experiences have made us that way. If you would stop making fun of us,
and instead, listen to us, you might learn something valuable.
6/9/2015 8:38 PM
384
We are special people; but we have issues from our odd circumstances, that are very real. In some ways the
experience we have had have make us exceptional and successful in many ways, but they bring with them
enduring challenges to being "ok" with "normal" folks.
6/9/2015 8:35 PM
385
they are like everyone else
6/9/2015 8:31 PM
386
Maybe just that it's confusing for children, especially if the parents are uninvolved.
6/9/2015 8:25 PM
387
Our skin color/passport doesn't describe us as easily as you might think.
6/9/2015 8:19 PM
388
We are normal
6/9/2015 8:13 PM
389
That it's complicated. Sometimes we are okay being back in our passport country and a lot of the times we are
not. No place feels like home.
6/9/2015 7:53 PM
390
We are normal people
6/9/2015 7:53 PM
391
Even though I speak your language fluently doesn't mean I'm one of you. Sometimes I wish I had an accent so
people would be more forgiving of my cultural faux pas.
6/9/2015 7:50 PM
131 / 157
SurveyMonkey
392
We don't have to be like you. We have a lot to offer you.
6/9/2015 7:36 PM
393
We have a tough outer shell, but a soft, and often insecure inner core.
6/9/2015 7:34 PM
394
We're not as different as you think
6/9/2015 7:17 PM
395
We are complex... Just like you.
6/9/2015 7:06 PM
396
That we are different even though we may look the same on the outside
6/9/2015 7:03 PM
397
No one in my passport country gets that I have a different upbringing
6/9/2015 6:53 PM
398
Our deep longing to belong and be understood.
6/9/2015 6:52 PM
399
We are normal, our experiences are 'normal', our normal! I am not more special, I am not more spiritual
6/9/2015 6:44 PM
400
Their (often) disdain for pp culture is more of a reaction to not feeling comfortable than a idea they are so much
better
6/9/2015 6:41 PM
401
That they're experience makes them stronger and more tolerant.
6/9/2015 6:36 PM
402
We are HUMANS! Let us fail. We need love. Care. And because of our fear of loosing relationships, its going to
take a bit of extra work on both our parts to develop a deeper relationship. I tend to keep them pretty shallow
because I hate the pain of leaving.
6/9/2015 6:35 PM
403
We're just human beings, the same as everyone else, with a story to tell about our lives, & genuinely listening to
us is one of the most amazing gifts.
6/9/2015 6:28 PM
404
We were just normal kids
6/9/2015 6:24 PM
405
We want to be recognized for our differences and accepted for them. Also, our home countries mean a lot to us,
if you really want to learn more about us, learn more about our home country. (home country being the one we
grew up in)
6/9/2015 6:19 PM
406
We can make good friends if you get past the differences
6/9/2015 6:01 PM
407
That they really do have a different experience and would ask about it
6/9/2015 5:53 PM
408
There is a lifelong impact, some positive, some negative
6/9/2015 5:52 PM
409
the need to be treated normally and yet appreciated for their diversity
6/9/2015 5:48 PM
410
We arenoal people who just have a different culture than you.
6/9/2015 5:48 PM
411
they may seem different but they need friends and to fit in, too
6/9/2015 5:48 PM
412
We're pretty much just like everyone else, just different experiences.
6/9/2015 5:47 PM
413
We're sick of being expected to live perfect lives
6/9/2015 5:39 PM
414
We are complex. There is probably a part of us they have no idea about.
6/9/2015 5:37 PM
415
we are normal people and have lots to share
6/9/2015 5:33 PM
416
we appear adaptable to please others, we don't want our parents to worry
6/9/2015 5:28 PM
417
try to understand them better- you may learn something!
6/9/2015 5:26 PM
418
The way they form friendships (go deep from the beginning)
6/9/2015 5:26 PM
419
Differences are ok
6/9/2015 5:25 PM
420
usually have a lot better understanding of what's going on than people suspect
6/9/2015 5:21 PM
421
Though we put up a good front, we don't know what we are doing in our passport countries at first.
6/9/2015 5:10 PM
422
I'd love to see more research on MKs' cross-cultural adjustment based on their age/stage of psychological
development.
6/9/2015 4:59 PM
423
the way we build friendships and relationships
6/9/2015 4:59 PM
132 / 157
SurveyMonkey
424
Friendships that you think are casual may mean the world to us and you leaving without a real goodbye
(recognizing that it's a REALLY big deal) can break our hearts.
6/9/2015 4:58 PM
425
I'm not who I appear to be!
6/9/2015 4:56 PM
426
We are different but not odd
6/9/2015 4:55 PM
427
they are real people with real value.
6/9/2015 4:45 PM
428
That we are not all the same by any means. Don't put us in a box.
6/9/2015 4:44 PM
429
We have experienced pain in life as well and even though we may come off light-hearted, there are deep hurts
that need to be processed through.
6/9/2015 4:40 PM
430
we are not automatically holy or religious.
6/9/2015 4:38 PM
431
We are people just like anyone else.
6/9/2015 4:38 PM
432
if you take the time to get to know an MK, you'll be better for it (and so might they).
6/9/2015 4:37 PM
433
Everything is complicated, but easy at the same time. Things are simple but also difficult to explain. Many things
we do are confusing but really do make sense.
6/9/2015 4:34 PM
434
Our desire for deep relationships....skipping the surface-level
6/9/2015 4:32 PM
435
There is so much more I want to say than I ever will
6/9/2015 4:32 PM
436
We are complex people. Some times we don't feel like we belong in our home country. Please be patient w/ us,
pray for us as we adjust. We are more likely to be closer to our missionary "aunts and uncles" then our family
members, this is nothing personal.
6/9/2015 4:26 PM
437
we are fairly normal
6/9/2015 4:25 PM
438
To not dismiss our stories/experiences because they can't relate. We had to not dismiss their experiences even
tho we couldn't understand them. Mutual interest!
6/9/2015 4:23 PM
439
They are different than how the look. People always just see you as one of them and not different so they treat
you the same.
6/9/2015 4:22 PM
440
mk's have seen a lot of the world and it has affected their perspective even though the MK can visually blend
their vision of the world is different
6/9/2015 4:22 PM
441
The ambiguities of being a member of a faith-community/faith-project in which my involvement was chosen for
me
6/9/2015 4:21 PM
442
They are each a whole person. Even though your definition and expectations of us differ from what you
experience, you need to understand that we are whole. And we don't need you to give us an education on how
we should be.
6/9/2015 4:10 PM
443
That they should treat them with as much courtesy as international students as far as not knowing how hardly
anything works
6/9/2015 4:08 PM
444
We're not all super spiritual. We're normal kids.
6/9/2015 4:08 PM
445
They just need a good listener and person to take genuine interest in them. They are just as human as anyone
else.
6/9/2015 4:07 PM
446
MKs are blessed in a special way
6/9/2015 3:55 PM
447
I don't think it's important to me if I am understood as an MK. I'm an MK and that's that I guess I wish they could
understand the reasons I may do things because of where I was raised. And I wish Statesside people could
understand how we mKe can love anther people group
6/9/2015 3:41 PM
448
We're just normal!
6/9/2015 3:17 PM
449
MKs are not zoo animals
6/9/2015 3:14 PM
450
How we engage in relationships
6/9/2015 3:09 PM
451
We may come from a different culture and background than you but we're not really any different at heart.
6/9/2015 2:37 PM
452
That they need to ask not assume they understand me
6/9/2015 2:33 PM
133 / 157
SurveyMonkey
453
That we have no one "home" and that our hearts are always divided.
6/9/2015 2:32 PM
454
It's awesome.
6/9/2015 2:18 PM
455
I wish people would simply acknowledge that I feel different
6/9/2015 2:15 PM
456
It's ok that we're different.
6/9/2015 2:04 PM
457
We're probably more sophisticated/cosmopolitan than they think and less churchy.
6/9/2015 1:58 PM
458
First, that they are not all saved. I shudder when people ask MK's, "Well... so what's it like, being a missionary?"
6/9/2015 1:55 PM
459
That we dont think our life is strange.
6/9/2015 1:30 PM
460
we look like we belong, but we don't always feel that way.
6/9/2015 1:13 PM
461
Their differences are not necessarily wrong sinful unpatriotic or some other negative word
6/9/2015 12:49 PM
462
what we look like is meaningless
6/9/2015 12:42 PM
463
We are not all the same. Sure there are lots of wonderful similarities and common anxieties. It's so important and
healthy to understand those things. But just like non Mk's have a range of personalities, interests, experiences
and temperaments so do MK's.
6/9/2015 12:33 PM
464
They need acceptance, just like any other person who is "different" from the average norm in any way.
6/9/2015 12:30 PM
465
We are not trying to be arrogant. We have just had different experiences. Not trying to be know-it-alls.
6/9/2015 12:23 PM
466
They need the time and space and understanding to grieve, otherwise good behaviour or bad behaviour, it all
comes out of an unhealed wound.
6/9/2015 12:09 PM
467
we don't feel like we totally understand american culture even though we wish we did
6/9/2015 12:09 PM
468
We're not perfect people. we struggle with things everyone else struggles with, but we're supposed to grin and
best it because we're "missionary kids".
6/9/2015 12:06 PM
469
their existence and characteristics.
6/9/2015 11:38 AM
470
we can be an arrogant lot...we are not special
6/9/2015 11:33 AM
471
It's ok to be different, we may take longer in certain areas of development /maturity , that's ok too - help us out!
6/9/2015 11:24 AM
472
6/9/2015 10:38 AM
473
They are really blessed to have such rich experiences.
6/9/2015 10:32 AM
474
that we just try to love people.
6/9/2015 10:07 AM
475
There's something so right and valuable about us. Utilize it.
6/9/2015 10:00 AM
476
How difficult it is to leave after graduating high school since it usually means moving FAR away.
6/9/2015 9:34 AM
477
We crave to belong, to be included. Just because I sound or act a tiny bit different doesn't mean I'm stuck up and
don't want to be a part of the current culture.
6/9/2015 9:34 AM
478
MKs see the world from a broader perspective. I can't buy into the "my country right or wrong" or the "my
church/denomination right or wrong" mindsets. Diversity is a fact, and monoculturalism produces blindness.
6/9/2015 9:31 AM
479
not to label us
6/9/2015 9:28 AM
480
They're kids, just like many mono-cultural kids
6/9/2015 9:17 AM
481
we have unique things to offer
6/9/2015 8:58 AM
482
not to be jealous of mks
6/9/2015 8:47 AM
483
We're amazing at understanding the world.
6/9/2015 8:23 AM
484
it's not our choice
6/9/2015 6:43 AM
485
that they have significant "different" insights to listen to and value, without feeling the MK is trying to brag or feel
superior
6/9/2015 5:14 AM
134 / 157
SurveyMonkey
486
We're different, but we are people, and we are (for the most part) trying! Give us grace, our minds and hearts are
all over the place - world, even.
6/9/2015 3:15 AM
487
We have a lot to offer
6/9/2015 2:49 AM
488
Asking good questions and not being too judgemental
6/9/2015 2:34 AM
489
MK normal is their weird and vice versa. To be contented with who you are and not seek to shape others towards
your own likes and dislikes.
6/9/2015 1:54 AM
490
Our confusion
6/9/2015 1:50 AM
491
Why soccer is so important to us ;)
6/9/2015 12:43 AM
492
their need for "surrogate" family and impact of being an MK and lack of a "family seat"
6/9/2015 12:21 AM
493
we are not weird, stupid, or bragging about my life.
6/8/2015 11:41 PM
494
they're just regular people
6/8/2015 11:10 PM
495
Nothing in particular.
6/8/2015 10:50 PM
496
We aren't all socially awkward conservatives.
6/8/2015 10:49 PM
497
We're just folks like everyone else. Every person is entirely unique -and yet very much the same. Embrace the
sameness and enjoy the uniqeuness..
6/8/2015 10:41 PM
498
It's not personal. I wish people knew that I desperately want to be good friends with them but I have NO IDEA
how to open up past a certain point. And I have no idea what makes me open up to some people (up to that point)
way faster than others. I really am a terrible friend to people sometimes, but I wish they all knew that it is not their
fault, and that I desperately wish things were different. I wish people knew just how much I cared.
6/8/2015 10:25 PM
499
their discomfort in their passport culture
6/8/2015 10:20 PM
500
We have experienced a lot, also a lot of emotional things like goodbyes in our short life sooner than they have
6/8/2015 10:14 PM
501
the pressure to be perfect Christians
6/8/2015 10:12 PM
502
Hmmm... It's a different experience for each kid. Distribute some of your articles and make them mandatory
reading for all missions organizations everywhere Lol except I'm serious.
6/8/2015 10:06 PM
503
Our social EQ can be somewhat lacking.
6/8/2015 10:03 PM
504
That we are also "normal", not always exotic.
6/8/2015 10:02 PM
505
"Going home" may mean something entirely different than what they think, and that sometimes "going home" isn't
even an option.
6/8/2015 9:54 PM
506
That I'm only white on the outside
6/8/2015 9:46 PM
507
Growing up in another culture is more than a fun fact about us, it defines and shapes us deeply
6/8/2015 9:40 PM
508
Culture shock is seriously stressful!
6/8/2015 9:14 PM
509
we have unique perspectives to offer
6/8/2015 8:59 PM
510
How confusing re-entry is
6/8/2015 8:56 PM
511
We know how to replace friends because of moving so much.
6/8/2015 8:54 PM
512
we want to be 'normal' like everyone else.
6/8/2015 8:51 PM
513
That it's not as exotic and amazing as most people think that it is. That it is hard growing up between cultures
and that MKs have unique needs and struggles.
6/8/2015 8:50 PM
514
we are not perfect and we are still like everyone else with regular needs
6/8/2015 8:41 PM
515
We're not rich traveling snobs-- yes, we've travelled but we're not remotely rich and when we talk about where
we've been we're not bragging-- we're just trying to share our lives.
6/8/2015 8:26 PM
516
How we long to fit in but that we have a hard time doing so
6/8/2015 8:24 PM
517
That they need to ask questions and dig into who we are if they ate going to understand.
6/8/2015 8:20 PM
135 / 157
SurveyMonkey
518
we really aren't that different, but our stories are important to us - don't envy us too much, but don't ignore our
pasts either.
6/8/2015 8:19 PM
519
It can be a hard life for families and these families need the support of their local churches
6/8/2015 8:12 PM
520
We are not just "visiting" our "home countries" (not passport country)they are our homes.
6/8/2015 8:07 PM
521
We don't TRY to be different, we just are!
6/8/2015 8:07 PM
522
They don't want to be treated like oddballs.
6/8/2015 7:54 PM
523
Relating our worldview to monoculturals is really hard without sounding arrogant
6/8/2015 7:53 PM
524
We may think/ live differently, but we can identify with others too
6/8/2015 7:46 PM
525
Our insecurities and vulnerability and accepting them
6/8/2015 7:46 PM
526
the level of difficulty of transition from one culture to another. Those who haven't done it just don't know.
6/8/2015 7:45 PM
527
Wow! Can't find just one thing.
6/8/2015 7:42 PM
528
that we want to belong to a group, its hard to connect with other & sometimes we need to be reached out to.
6/8/2015 7:42 PM
529
MKs are just like anyone else ... only more special.
6/8/2015 7:41 PM
530
We are no one special.
6/8/2015 7:41 PM
531
We can be vital to world peace ;)...seriously though...
6/8/2015 7:31 PM
532
its ok for us to talk about our home, it does not negate the pace and people we are with currently. If tou can't all
about it you isolate and can't fully be yourself
6/8/2015 7:25 PM
533
That we aren't all religious fanatics.
6/8/2015 7:24 PM
534
I feel like a stranger - sitting in coach class
6/8/2015 7:21 PM
535
that we have faced trauma because of our experiences of an ever-changing community.
6/8/2015 7:10 PM
536
Asking us where we're from is one of the worst things to ask.
6/8/2015 7:03 PM
136 / 157
SurveyMonkey
Q30 The one final thought Id like to

contribute to this research on being an MK
is:
Answered: 452
Skipped: 291
Responses
Date
I'd do it all over again
6/27/2015 10:33 AM
The best thing that happened to me. As hard as it has been for me and my family, I think everyone should
experience a different culture and country at least once in their lives.
6/27/2015 9:40 AM
I'm still grateful for the experience and can see how I've been blessed by the Lord and learned more about him
even though there were hard times.i haven't left the faith, or any of my other siblings.
6/27/2015 8:56 AM
I wish these things would have been explained to me so I wouldn't spend so many years trying to figure out
what's wrong with me
6/27/2015 5:47 AM
I love being an MK!
6/27/2015 5:40 AM
I enjoy being a MK, although it is hard
6/27/2015 3:02 AM
Great job!
6/27/2015 2:48 AM
N/A
6/27/2015 2:38 AM
we multicultural people are the future and we need to figure out how to make it work
6/27/2015 2:14 AM
10
6/27/2015 12:40 AM
11
Grew up MK in Mexico, nearest other MK was 8 hour drive away. Very much a bubble
6/27/2015 12:10 AM
12
Our experiences are different and shod be seen as such '
6/27/2015 12:07 AM
13
It's important to not box in an MK, as our experiences are quite varied.
6/26/2015 11:54 PM
14
It was the best thing that has happened to me. I love the fact that I grew up in Europe. I'm glad I lived in Asia
even though I resented it for so many years. I have grown into the person I am today, and both experiences have
helped me tremendously in understanding a lot of life things. And sure, I may be a little odd and probably kinda
slow in grasping certain things, but I think I've turned out pretty alright and I wouldn't be who I am if it wasn't for
my experiences overseas.
6/26/2015 11:49 PM
15
Some of your questions seem as if you think everything in my life is shaped by being an MK alone when that, for
me, is one piece and a lovely and important piece, but there are many other aspects to my story too and I don't
want to be put in an MK box alone lest I shut out the rest of the world by my presumption that I am so different no
one else can really understand me if they are not an MK. but I appreciate your efforts too...just many questions
were really impossible to answer in the absolute way they sounded.
6/26/2015 11:24 PM
16
We wouldn't trade it for anything else.
6/26/2015 10:52 PM
17
Wouldn't trade it for the world.
6/26/2015 10:49 PM
18
keeping eyes squarely focused on God helps keep priorities straight, lets you enjoy things as they come
6/26/2015 10:48 PM
19
I loved my experience but I was so lucky to live with my parents instead of in the dorms so my experience was
the best of both worlds.
6/26/2015 10:33 PM
20
I believe God has a plan for each child who grows up overseas. Our background has its challenges, but He is
more than able to see us through it all.
6/26/2015 10:30 PM
21
I wouldn't have traded it for another upbringing
6/26/2015 10:20 PM
22
I wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING!
6/26/2015 10:20 PM
23
Thank you for doing this. I wish more people were educated about this, and more missionary parents would meet
each child where they are at.
6/26/2015 10:19 PM
137 / 157
SurveyMonkey
24
That the Church should do more to utilize what missionary kids have to offer them especially in regards of
keeping culture out of the Church.
6/26/2015 10:12 PM
25
Pray this generation has an better support network than we did in the 60s
6/26/2015 10:03 PM
26
thankful for the experience
6/26/2015 7:10 PM
27
we've been indoctrinated by our parents and peers - we need to understand who we, ourselves, are . ..
6/26/2015 6:53 PM
28
N/a
6/26/2015 6:05 PM
29
I have become quite self reliant as there is a sense of not really belonging in either country
6/26/2015 5:31 PM
30
I wish there had been a way to more process what life off the mission field would be like. A way to have someone
be able to go deep into my life through for instance team building exercises in an environment where I would
have felt safe to tell my story and not feel "odd." I loved being an mk, I love how I was brought up in Mexico and
wouldn't change that for the world but an mk is a master of saying the "right" thing while not really getting into an
issue. My husband and I now lead challenge course for Teen Reach Adventure Camps for foster teens in the
summers and leading and learning about team building exercises all based on allowing a teen to properly process
their life and their story is a huge learning experience for me even now. I wish I had that earlier and think mks
would benefit greatly from it.
6/26/2015 4:57 PM
31
guidance councillors could be a lot more helpful
6/26/2015 3:57 PM
32
I had found that God is faithful and present in my life. He has been the source of strength in times of great
weakness and loneliness, the Holy Spirit has been the Comforter in deep despair, I have fortunately been able to
find joy in this journey . I know others have struggled longer than I have with being a MK, but I have been
blessed with that heritage .
6/26/2015 2:40 PM
33
My experience is different than some you are looking at. My parents returned home from a foreign county when I
was 8, but continued as support missionaries in The US for the rest of my life. In one sense I have been an mk all
my life, but I. Looks like you are focusing on overseas and that ended early for me with minimal negative effects
and lasting struggle.
6/26/2015 11:28 AM
34
Thanks for doing this.
6/26/2015 10:19 AM
35
I couldn't ask for a better, more solid foundation.
6/26/2015 9:45 AM
36
Lots of questions were leading, esp. related to "belonging" and "how hard being an MK is".
6/26/2015 9:34 AM
37
I have greatly struggled with feeling that my life in suburban America is important and meaningful. my husband
works for Boeing and I have been a fundraiser for many nonprofits. we have two children and had an African
foster son. MKs who become missionaries have the default meaningful and important work. but those of us who
lead more ordinary lives can feel like what we do is not important compared to what our parents did.
6/26/2015 8:37 AM
38
I loved being an MK. I'm glad I am. In a sense, I wish our kids knew more what it's like to be an MK (they basically
went to local Japanese schools and consider themselves Japanese. But all in all, I'm satisfied.
6/26/2015 6:47 AM
39
It's a privilege to have grown up as an mk
6/26/2015 6:45 AM
40
Sometimes I wonder if we separate MKs into their own box too much, so that some even resist exploring their
MKness because they want to distance themselves from that identity. And some of the stereotypes are not true.
For example, MKs are supposedly more broad minded, and yet they can be pretty set in their ways of viewing the
world and arrogantly dismiss others as ignorant. I've met some mono-cultural people who were much more
willing to learn about the world than MKs. And yet, despite my doubts, I am someone who has a passion to work
with MKs and explore their specific needs, so I think it is needed. They mostly need people to hear their stories
and accept them as they are.
6/26/2015 5:35 AM
41
thank you for taking the time, and for dedicating your life to helping MKs
6/26/2015 3:59 AM
42
I think most MKs should go to therapy/counselling. It really helped me.
6/26/2015 3:14 AM
43
I enjoyed being an MK, though I have not lived in my passport country for many years now, I did not even study
there.
6/26/2015 2:53 AM
44
Keep asking the questions ??
6/26/2015 2:24 AM
45
Life is 10% what happens to you, 90% how you respond to it. There are so many MKs that let the 10% define
them. That should not be the case.
6/26/2015 2:11 AM
46
Thanks for doing this, Michele!
6/26/2015 2:05 AM
138 / 157
SurveyMonkey
47
A lot of us have similar joys and challenges. It's nice to have other people to share them with. What did we do
before the internet?
6/26/2015 2:04 AM
48
I love the community at large, how accepting it is, but in times like these I feel like an imposter because I was not
an MK for long, only during my late teens, though it was a very influential time of my life.
6/26/2015 1:30 AM
49
it was a privilege. very hard when a young child but ultimately, a life gift.
6/26/2015 1:18 AM
50
In 2 years, it dramatically changed my life for the better. I just wish I had acknowledged it more as a young adult.
6/26/2015 12:02 AM
51
It's hard for sure, but the rewards are deep. It's worth it.
6/25/2015 11:53 PM
52
My siblings and I would all consider our childhood as unusually wonderful. We are so thankful for our parents
who refused to split as a family and left the field when we reached HS age. The 3 of us are committed Christians,
very active in our churches and my husband being a pastor. I am grateful.
6/25/2015 11:47 PM
53
The family dynamic needs to be safe for kids to voice their desires, if not they will agree with parents to please
them or rebel. Kids sacrifice just as much as parents, the difference is, they're never asked their opinion.
6/25/2015 11:39 PM
54
Was an awesome way to grow up.
6/25/2015 11:22 PM
55
The single most important thing in this world is not who you are or where you come from in this earthly world. It's
who you are because of Jesus Christ, who you are to your Heavenly Father, and where you are a permanent
citizen. (Phil. 3:20 and 1 Jn. 3:1).
6/25/2015 11:12 PM
56
We are all human, and being an MK doesn't make us any more holy nor any greater of a rebel either
6/25/2015 10:53 PM
57
How parents say good bye affects an Mk greatly.
6/25/2015 10:50 PM
58
the worst and best thing to happen to me
6/25/2015 10:46 PM
59
there is a high price for the mk, s to pay for the way they grew up
6/25/2015 10:39 PM
60
I loved my life as an MK!
6/25/2015 10:32 PM
61
MKs need to be given wayyy better educational tools and job statistics/general prep in grade 11 and 12 so they
can make educated choices regarding their future. Thanks for conducting this study!
6/25/2015 10:14 PM
62
Parents often try to "involve" their kids in the mission outreach by sending them out in teams of other
missionaries, like a summer missions trip or something. Look, for the kids who are true believers this may be a
positive experience; for the rest of us who feel trapped in a foreign country by our parents' vision for "the lost",
this is an excuse to escape the clutches of that familial setting and engage peers who speak a similar language ~
that's all! I spent my entire trip flirting with women of another country and making out with the one who responded
positively to my clumsy advances. Probably NOT what my parents had envisioned when they arranged to "get me
involved" but then again my opinion was never sought in the first place. People (often parents) tend to blur the
lines between Missionary and Kid, but the line IS there. I'm part of the family package, but *I* am NOT the
missionary; MY vision had to do with athletic competition and lots of hot chicks. It is one thing to accept that I
have no alternative but to accompany my family to the mission field; I am more than moderately self-reliant and
will make the best of the situation. It is quite another to try to induce a similar vision within me by thrusting me into
the middle of someone else's vision for a short summer. Such manipulation is self-defeating and does little to
solidify the ossifying links between parents and teen...
6/25/2015 9:53 PM
63
The experience of being an MK is so broad that it's hard to quantify. Each of us responds in our own way to our
experience. Ours just happens to be as 3rd culture kids.
6/25/2015 9:31 PM
64
It's the only life we had no sense wondering what if
6/25/2015 9:29 PM
65
N/A
6/25/2015 9:17 PM
66
It has caused me sadness but this sadness has pushed me closer to God
6/25/2015 9:06 PM
67
I think personality plays into how mks adjust....and I think the mks that have a hard time have the personalities
that would tend 2 "overthink" things...and I don't mean overthink negatively
6/25/2015 8:45 PM
68
thanks for asking...
6/25/2015 8:36 PM
69
Many of these questions have more then one good answer, as such the data being compiled is not really
everything you are looking for.
6/25/2015 8:31 PM
70
It has led me to a very rewarding 35 years in cross-cultural missions
6/25/2015 8:19 PM
139 / 157
SurveyMonkey
71
Being a missionary kid was an amazing experience but in no way defines me. I define me. God define I. There is
no reason to claim to be a victim and the sooner one stops having a victim mentality and accepts what occurred.
At that point one can move on and live life in the post MK experience.
6/25/2015 8:14 PM
72
I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
6/25/2015 8:13 PM
73
I'm curious what the project is for. I happen to be doing some survey research on young adult Christians as well.
If you're willing to share, my email is jdeklittle@gmail.com
6/25/2015 8:08 PM
74
I've always wished that all the hurtful and abusive adults in the field, would experience some of the pain and
damage they have caused!! Their judgmental, condemning and judgmental actions and attitude have done
irreparable damage towards A LOT of MKs!! Unacceptable!!!
6/25/2015 8:01 PM
75
M.K' s are human, make mistakes, need forgiveness. Let them be human. Stop expecting them to be perfect.
6/25/2015 7:59 PM
76
give MKs permission to think outside their parents' world view.
6/25/2015 7:45 PM
77
There are many positives and negatives. Mission boards should do more to prepare and equip missionaries and
their kids for that life.
6/25/2015 7:44 PM
78
It's a privilege but it costs in suffering.
6/25/2015 7:33 PM
79
As an adult MK I've had time to reflect on all the good that I was exposed to at such a young age and how it has
helped develop me into the stable, grounded, globally aware individual I am today. Everyone has a story with
God's fingerprints all over it if we take the time to engage with and love others as was always the master plan
since creation.
6/25/2015 7:21 PM
80
I think there is an assumption here that being an MK makes you a certain way/type, and that type is static. While
we are always MKs, even as adults, we can and should learn skills that bring us closer to 'mono-culturals' in a
way that respects and values them as having experiences as important as our own.
6/25/2015 7:15 PM
81
developing lasting friendships and stuggling with intense loneliness (even though I am married and have a child)
are daily struggles for me.
6/25/2015 6:53 PM
82
Being an MK is a privilege. It has its challenges but these are by far outweighed by the good times and amazing
experiences. While some have had very hard and sad experiences I believe many more have had good
experiences and thrived.
6/25/2015 6:48 PM
83
Mks who become missionaries or marry other mks aren't superior or better Christians.
6/25/2015 6:48 PM
84
The need to help returning MKs engage with their faith independently of their parents...to help them make it their
own while allowing them space and acceptance when there are questions or disbelief.
6/25/2015 6:47 PM
85
thanks
6/25/2015 6:41 PM
86
Why is there so much emphasis on "being an MK"
6/25/2015 5:55 PM
87
Have a real job when you go overseas so your kids can be proud of what you do and see you accepted in the
community. DO NOT SEND YOUR KIDS AWAY. Don't over spiritualize everything. Get a good education for your
kids. Wait to go overseas until your kids are grown up. I was homeschooled and put into 13 different schools as
well as sent away for 2 years. Make sure you have a real reason to be doing what your doing, instead of just
chasing adventure. Don't make your prayer letters sound so wonderful with exciting pictures. I have found a lot of
missions to be "old Boys clubs" that are not open to even discussing new ways of doing things. The world is
changing rapidly and missions are still sending people over seas to "church plant" which usually means learning
a language for 4 years and then changing fields and having to learn a new language for another 4 years etc etc
with very limited contact with the "target" people group. I think having a job is the best way to make an impact.
Missions have lost a lot of respect in recent years because of their inability to adapt.
6/25/2015 5:33 PM
88
I wish I had had more access to these kinds of websites 10 years ago
6/25/2015 4:07 PM
89
It's tough and bad things happen to MKs but I like the desire to visit other cultures
6/25/2015 3:59 PM
90
it was a good life
6/25/2015 2:57 PM
140 / 157
SurveyMonkey
91
I think it depends on the way the parents act. To us it was normal to live where we did. It was normal to go back
to their home country for furlough every three or four years. However when we went back we only spent three
months there. My parents did not want to disrupt our schooling. My parents made things normal for us and I think
that is the key. We did not spend a lot of time with other missionaries in that country. We lived, played, went to
school and church with locals. We all associate with that country not my parents home country. We have the
opportunity to take the best from both cultures and make them part of who we are. It is not a tragic thing to be an
MK but if gives us very good people person skills. It helps us realize that there are many types of people all over
the world that have unique and good things to offer. As a result I went to another country to be a missionary there
in my adult life. I served for five years in that country and part of my ability to adapt and develop deep
relationships with people was because I was an MK. I think all people have the ability to respond in a positive or
negative way to their up bringing. This does not just include MKs but all people around the world. I think a lot of
people blame their parents for why they are the way they are instead of owning up to their own choices. Again
this is not exclusive of MKs. It is humans in general. I think MK's who do have a pity party about being an MK
need to face the realities that life would NOT be perfect either if they grew up in their parents country. They might
not even be rich there either. They may not make deep relationships. These things that were on the survey are
not just things that can happen to MKs. They can happen to anyone. People lose their faith anywhere and
everywhere. To think that it is just MK's that face all these problems would be incorrect. The grass may seem
greener on the other side, but its not. We need parents to teach that to their children and teach them how to be
content in all situations.
6/25/2015 2:19 PM
92
Although I relate best to people who are TCKs, I have found the more closed MK community to be at times more
self-righteous and exclusive.
6/25/2015 1:52 PM
93
One MK wrote me a letter and said that her favorite thing all year was when I had her over for dinner and just
listened. I didn't expect her to say certain things and I didn't offer any advice. I just let her say whatever she
wanted. I was really surprised that she remembered 4 years later and told me that this mattered to her. I think a
lot of MKs are tired of being "talked to"
6/25/2015 1:25 PM
94
Having been an Mk, myself I know I can be of help to others who have the same struggles that I had to go
through
6/25/2015 12:29 PM
95
It's an awesome experience, but it comes with challenges that are hard to overcome... But not impossible with
God. Never give up on God. He is always with you even in those deepest moments of struggle. He is still there,
loving, and caring for you. I wouldn't change my experience as an mk for the world... Although I might change
some of my experiences of I could. :)
6/25/2015 12:10 PM
96
from my experience as an mk our mission did not place a high priority on the children of missionaries. if they had
abuse wpuld have been stopped sooner and they would provide help for those mks that really need help.
6/25/2015 12:03 PM
97
It takes longer to begin to trust others and even God love for us sometimes. We have to become secure in our
faith and knowing that God sees Jesus not us if we have placed our faith in Him. We are perfect in Him we don't
have to become perfect.
6/25/2015 10:47 AM
98
It was hard for everyone at times but there were great times as well!
6/25/2015 10:18 AM
99
We seem to be sliding into the rut of self-focus. It seems many parents tend to be so "busy for God" that they
forget their first and most important ministry - family.
6/25/2015 10:10 AM
100
It makes me sad to hear of those whose MK experience was negative and who can't seem to move forward into
their adult lives without constantly looking back. Living fully where you are is a great way to approach life, and I
wish it for all my friends and family - MKs or not.
6/25/2015 9:55 AM
101
this survey has us already pegged, and wants us to confirm or reinforce some stereotypical presuppositions
about mks. In doing that, you lessen the validity of the results and thats unfortunate.
6/25/2015 9:24 AM
102
I wish my kids had the opportunity to be MKs
6/25/2015 8:03 AM
103
Anything I can do to help...I follow you on FB and my name is Andy Kauffman.
6/25/2015 7:53 AM
104
actions speak louder than words.
6/25/2015 7:41 AM
105
I loved my life as an MK. As I get older though, I feel like the first half of my life was a dream. I would not have
changed my experiences or living overseas for anything. I loved it and cherish the friendships I made long ago
6/25/2015 7:12 AM
106
Allthough everyday life as a child in a foreign culture was often rather restricted, as a whole it was a fantastic,
enriching and deeply mind-broadening experience in very many ways.
6/25/2015 6:26 AM
107
Being an MK has its ups and downs, but what God does through you is amazing
6/25/2015 2:18 AM
141 / 157
SurveyMonkey
108
Being an MK is a calling on our life- I don't really agree with the people that say that thier parents are the
missionaries, or parents that say it is thier job or calling. I really feel strongly that God calls all the members of a
family- it may not be a calling for a whole lifetime- but when he places parents on the field thier kids are a part of
that equation. I think if parents and kids embrace this than it actully gives much deeper meaning and strength
during the hard times. My parents did this- and I ahve done it with my kids- I fell ike the price is too high to pay if
we/they are just here waiting to grow up! One of my kids recently said, "shouldn't people really be living this way
anyway?" God has had a great plan, it includes goodbyes, sepertion, loneliness, hard school, but it also includes
getting to see His hand at work in peoples lives in a really active way. Perspective is a huge thing.
6/25/2015 2:03 AM
109
enigma comes to mind
6/25/2015 12:23 AM
110
Thank you God for my parents and missionary uncles and aunts who prayed together and often for me.
6/24/2015 11:46 PM
111
I think my parents played a huge role in my adjustment to the field and back to the States. They always prioritized
God first, family second, and ministry third. This is something different from many of my MK peers, whose
parents prioritized ministry over family.
6/24/2015 11:43 PM
112
healing takes time
6/24/2015 11:42 PM
113
Thank you for doing this, I hope you will freely share with those that have freely taken time to share with you as
well!
6/24/2015 11:18 PM
114
The pluses overshadow the negatives by far. I am grateful for my experiences. As an adult I can appreciate the
call to the mission field and their need to respond. I love being multi-cultural and bilingual.
6/24/2015 10:39 PM
115
There are many MK's who see their experience as a wonderful blessing. I am so thankful for having been raised
an MK.
6/24/2015 10:27 PM
116
I loved it.
6/24/2015 9:38 PM
117
I've always been happy saying "home" is where I currently live, and truly believe that. I have a difficult time
relating to MKs who dream about going back to where they grew up and are miserable in their passport country.
My life growing up as an MK was good. I appreciate the international experiences. But I now appreciate the life
I've built for myself and desire to live in the present, not the past.
6/24/2015 9:34 PM
118
The topic of abuse has become top-heavy, in my opinion. There is now an assumption that being an MK
(especially one that went to boarding school) automatically means there must have been abuse somewhere. I'm
so thankful that was not my experience, and frankly, I know some MKs that claim abuse, which claim I find
questionable at best.
6/24/2015 9:22 PM
119
emotionally connected parents can make emotionally connected kids
6/24/2015 8:41 PM
120
eventually there are too many places I want to experience and live....settling down in a community you love, but
finding an "escape" route (accessible airport) to the world/cultures/friends is important
6/24/2015 8:16 PM
121
When I returned to the States there was a temptation to pursue materialism or be cool and try to fit in with others
but the Lord has helped me to the see the vanity of selfish pursuits.
6/24/2015 8:08 PM
122
You seem to have a very negative slant on the whole MK thing. Just saying!!
6/24/2015 7:53 PM
123
while I never would raise my daughter as an MK. I do wish we could have the same kind of childhood I did. loved
all of it
6/24/2015 6:53 PM
124
My faith which is so different from what I was "taught" it is genuine and gives me strength
6/24/2015 6:45 PM
125
While my boarding school was not negative overall, as an adult I have often lamented so much time away from
my parents particularly since my mother assets away on the foreign field when she was 47.
6/24/2015 6:31 PM
126
It is bittersweet but I am proud to be an MK
6/24/2015 6:22 PM
127
I think ones that feel called to be missionaries should not have children
6/24/2015 5:59 PM
128
Being an MK/TCK shaped who I am today and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am now raising our two kids as
MKs in a country other than my passport & childhood culture. I recognize that God's presence in my life is what
made any negative experiences which I had, bearable and fruitful for who I am and what I'm doing today. I wish
more people could experience His love and compassion as I do now. I also am incredibly sad that my own MK
siblings are not walking with the Lord today. That is probably my greatest sadness of all related to all this.
6/24/2015 5:48 PM
129
I've learned that Home is not a place on the globe.
6/24/2015 5:30 PM
142 / 157
SurveyMonkey
130
I still would not change it if I could. I've struggled through a lot but so does the rest of humanity. the things that I
have gained through my experience, while sometimes painful, have brought me the greatest joys. I can speak
with people from multiple cultures and connect with them as they feel alone in this culture. we have instant
connections. also, I feel that belonging or having a home is elusive, but more about relationship than a place.
6/24/2015 5:24 PM
131
It's a good thing
6/24/2015 5:04 PM
132
Love to see results from survey.
6/24/2015 4:42 PM
133
I think MKs share a lot common experiences, some cultural, some Christian driven, but I am concerned that
research such as this tends to explain, excuse, or blame situations or circumstances over which any child
growing up around the world must learn to identify, defy, or cope with. Some kids grow up & still live in 'the
ghetto', blaming their life on their birth situation; others get out & become honorary members of society.
Understanding childhood challenges is good, but it is more important to learn how to effectively cope, adapt, & go
forward than to dwell in the past. Your past is but a drop in the ocean of time; a healthy life must have more to
drink than the one lost drop.
6/24/2015 4:39 PM
134
It is the most amazing experience.
6/24/2015 4:35 PM
135
Being an MK was positive in many ways and I wouldn't reade it for anything; I just wish I'd done some things
differently.
6/24/2015 4:34 PM
136
It's still worth it - life as an MK was interesting, broadening, exciting, dangerous, terrible and eccentric - all of
which has contributed great capacities in me as an adult. I'm more successful in every way because I grew up as
an MK.
6/24/2015 3:53 PM
137
We are not all from the same mold. Experiences are perceived differently by each individual
6/24/2015 3:49 PM
138
God is faithful to all.
6/24/2015 3:49 PM
139
if given a choice I would always want to be a MK
6/24/2015 3:45 PM
140
Being an MK is defining. I experienced many good things, except apparent thought control at boarding school.
6/24/2015 3:41 PM
141
I had a super positive experience, but I do realize others didn't and I don't discount that at all. I am very sorry that
some had bad experiences.
6/24/2015 3:25 PM
142
We have a lot going for us
6/24/2015 3:22 PM
143
it was an AWESOME experience, and no child should be allowed to graduate highschool without living out of the
country for at least a few months!
6/24/2015 3:00 PM
144
There is hope of wholeness and recovery even from the hardest traumas of MK - with God and loving people
that have the patience to listen.
6/24/2015 2:23 PM
145
I firmly believe the "traditional missionary model" is obsolete in today's world...essentially unnecessary
6/24/2015 2:17 PM
146
I loved being an MK! It makes me unique & has made my life richer.
6/24/2015 2:13 PM
147
I've 'adjusted' fairly well. But I'm very aware that I seem to have difficulty making genuine emotional attachments
with people after college (where I felt the most belonging)
6/24/2015 1:10 PM
148
As an American whose ethnic heritage is the same as the mission field we served in, I experienced mild forms of
racism from my white classmates and teachers at the boarding school
6/24/2015 9:52 AM
149
Missionary parents need to understand that God gave them a family first and a mission field second! Boarding
schools are good only in theory.
6/24/2015 9:35 AM
150
I'm excited to see the results... It means a lot to me that there are ppl out there who understand me
6/24/2015 9:11 AM
151
That we could check more than one box on questions.
6/24/2015 8:19 AM
152
Thank you for your work with TCKs.
6/24/2015 8:15 AM
153
Life as an MK is just another chapter of the journey we are on...
6/24/2015 7:48 AM
154
We can't see ourselves as more special than other , or feel sorry for ourselves. Lots of people go through worse
shit than us in this world.
6/24/2015 4:27 AM
155
Thanks for doing this - a lot has been coming to light lately on experiences MKs have endured in the past. More
need to speak out.
6/24/2015 4:02 AM
143 / 157
SurveyMonkey
156
Every child is impacted by the where and the way they were raised and being an MK just heightens or intensifies
that experience but the gains surpass the losses.
6/24/2015 3:56 AM
157
keep providing resources and help for mks
6/24/2015 3:07 AM
158
No life is perfect. Safety is elusive to everyone. MKs and missionary parents need to face their normalcy just as
much as their exceptionality.
6/24/2015 2:31 AM
159
Anime is awesome.
6/24/2015 1:50 AM
160
My parents would never have put me in a boarding school. They believed that if God gave them children then He
expected them to raise these children, even if it would mean changes for them in their ministry.
6/24/2015 12:17 AM
161
Nobody on this earth has a perfect life.
6/23/2015 11:51 PM
162
The most important thing is our personal and close relationship with God.
6/23/2015 11:27 PM
163
I'd love to see a book with all these findings!
6/23/2015 11:18 PM
164
Michele is a superhero. She gets us.
6/23/2015 10:26 PM
165
I see evidence of some changes toward the care of MKs. It seems that people are moving away from the
boarding school model. But I worry about the isolation kids experience and the forced reliance on a relatively
small community that is constantly changing in terms of who is in it but may be rigid in terms of values and
expectations. I still find it stressful to even thonk about the huge life transitions these kids make over and over
again. I feel that some kids may thrive in this situation but that people tend to commit to a course long before they
know how their children will fare.
6/23/2015 10:24 PM
166
Nothing
6/23/2015 10:19 PM
167
I am grateful now after all the messiness, but it's taken almost 20 years
6/23/2015 9:56 PM
168
a priviledge
6/23/2015 9:33 PM
169
6/23/2015 9:19 PM
170
I don't think people with children should be missionaries.
6/23/2015 5:56 PM
171
I believe it's important to realize that as a Christian this world is not my home, whether I'm in my favorite place or
not, and I need to recognize who I am in God's sight.
6/23/2015 4:03 PM
172
being an MK is the source of my greatest joy, and greatest pain. But it is part of my formative experience, and I
trust God will use it somehow.
6/23/2015 1:04 PM
173
It was part of God's plan for my life and I'm thankful for the experience.
6/23/2015 12:16 PM
174
I'm not sure I really have a final comment. To be honest, I almost didn't take this survey, b/c I think I had a more
ordinary, mostly pleasant experience as an MK, and the negative came largely from things that ordinary
American kids experience all the time, like high school, so it seemed like I didn't have much to say. Then I
thought If others are thinking this way too, it's only the people with bad experiences (or very good ones I guess)
who will get counted. So that's why I took it.
6/23/2015 10:27 AM
175
Thank you for a chance to speak about this
6/22/2015 1:07 PM
176
God provides
6/21/2015 2:33 AM
177
that it is worth it, and i only lament that I don't feel called to be a missionary and so my kids will not be MKs...
6/20/2015 11:44 PM
178
Interesting how applicable these questions are!
6/20/2015 10:00 PM
179
Please continue this research. I know I speak for so many MKs across the world. Reading your articles/blogs
gave me chills down my spine many times. I hand many 'Eureka' moments and I finally understood that I wasn't
'abnormal'. I was a result of my life as an MK...of course I knew that, but it was great to hear the details of it being
explained to me!!! God Bless you all!!
6/20/2015 1:39 PM
180
My parents emerged me in the culture of the country I grew up in, I am fluent in the native language and I still
connect best with people from the country I grew up in. I am extremely grateful to them for not raising me in a
Christian "bubble" where I am cut off from the local culture. I feel I have a more stable since of identity because at
least I know there is one community I can relate to
6/20/2015 12:41 PM
181
It is great how the support of MKs has developed in the last decades. I did not have that, but I am very happy for
the modern MKs.
6/20/2015 8:03 AM
144 / 157
SurveyMonkey
182
I wish I'd had the courage/strength "then" to pull away from the "We are better than them/They aren't good
enough for you" attitudes that were so very predominant in the cultural circles that I/we experience.
6/20/2015 6:14 AM
183
It seems that MKs are being told to think something is wrong about being an MK instead of feeling blessed God
chose their family. I loved being an MK so maybe that makes it different for me. I am married and live a great life
because if Christ not anything else. Maybe focusing on helping MKs grow in their faith would be a more beneficial
long term focus.
6/19/2015 10:37 PM
184
I used to really struggle with all the belonging aspects that came up earlier in this survey, but since getting
married to such a patient, loving and understanding and Godly man, my belonging issues are sifting away.
Additionally my new church (for the past 3 years) has been influential in my faith. I'm now a part of a MK Network
in Australia leading younger MKs - and it is the most rewarding week of my year every year. GO TO AN MK
CAMP if you need support. My missions organisation provided ZERO support or re-entering debrief for us kids,
and it was hard. But then we came across a MK Camp network and it was so helpful in sharing and gaining
perspective, support and love.
6/19/2015 9:49 PM
185
Is this survey designed for all MKs, or only North American/western missionaries? What about Korean
missionaries, or interracial families?
6/19/2015 10:15 AM
186
I believe that we are not an entirely different race, even though we have some experiences that differ from the
average. I can relate to other MK's in many things, but not all. And I relate most to those who were living in the
same country and went to same boarding school as I did. So I suppose one's world view is always limited in
many ways. Being an MK has teached me something but I can not tell if it has made me wiser. I can only hope.
6/19/2015 9:42 AM
187
I wouldn't trade my experiences for anything. The salvation of others is worth the sacrifices I've made.
6/19/2015 9:37 AM
188
I was exposed to quite a few life-altering experiences through the host culture (Germany) that don't directly relate
to much covered in this survey. I'm having to reevaluate how I handled those powers/pressures and how I should
better handle them moving forward. For instance, I continually witness and hear talk about how MKs growing up
in France have that French veneer that protects them but yet makes them more inaccessible. That has little to do
with the ministry or boarding school or being an MK. It's foreign traits we pick up along the way. The Spanish
MKs often seemed more open, and the German MKs fell into certain stereotypes as well, all through exposure to
the host culture.
6/19/2015 8:32 AM
189
I'm glad that it is being researched and that help is being offered to those that need it!
6/18/2015 8:51 PM
190
The broader issue is also for TCKs
6/18/2015 8:45 PM
191
Please contact me: I would like to hear more about your research anne.valpas@hotmail.com.
6/18/2015 5:10 PM
192
It's just that I feel so far from everything because I know only an average amount of every place I've ever been
and my heart has never been completely steeped in anything, or any place, I should say.
6/18/2015 3:53 PM
193
MK's can be completely different
6/18/2015 1:15 PM
194
I know not everyone has the best experience as an MK, but I did. I loved the way I grew up in the place I grew up,
and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Even if things were sometimes hard, that was part of my growing and
shaping, and I'm so grateful for all of it.
6/18/2015 11:36 AM
195
use it for good :)
6/18/2015 11:12 AM
196
I'm so excited this is being done! I'm in the middle of my master's, and hope to be doing research that contributes
to Member Care later in life.
6/18/2015 10:32 AM
197
thank you!
6/18/2015 10:26 AM
198
I think I was a better parent to my MKs
6/18/2015 9:59 AM
199
In college a classmate commented to me that MK's tend to be bitter. That hadn't occurred to me. Thinking it over,
and in my experience with myself and others over time after that, it seems to me that the default position of an
MK is to be angry and bitter. It helps to be aware of that, and is a life-long struggle to overcome it. It makes the
Church (and God I suppose), paradoxically, both authentic and difficult to relate to.
6/18/2015 9:52 AM
200
I like where I've ended up personally and spiritually, despite my beliefs not looking like my parents
6/18/2015 8:48 AM
201
God loves us and gave us a unique perspective on his kingdom work
6/18/2015 8:16 AM
145 / 157
SurveyMonkey
202
I grew up an MK and am now raising my four children as MK's... I did not have a negative experianece and I don;t
think my children are either so far... however I am so grateful to see research being done about this topic
because I have had a lot to process as an adult MK and found resources available to me. I will be grateful if there
are more resources available to my children when they need them.
6/18/2015 7:18 AM
203
For me, being an MK has sometimes felt like permanent exile, of always having a longing for somewhere else.
But in Jeremiah, God tells the exiles to plant gardens. And that instruction to invest and cultivate in whatever
community I find myself is what has made my life beautiful.
6/18/2015 5:31 AM
204
Sometimes I come off as know it all about cultures even though I try my best not to. I essentialize groups of
countries near my country as if they are so similar. I also generalize my home country with other European
countries as if they are similar. I think this is just normal for humans nothing MK, but we also do it.
6/18/2015 3:51 AM
205
i loved the country i was brought up in and still miss it 30 years on it was paradise on earth.
6/18/2015 2:19 AM
206
being an MK was wonderful for me, but I've heard negative cases as well. I feel lucky to have had such a good
experience.
6/18/2015 2:04 AM
207
Fear has been a huge struggle in my life, especially as a female, having lived in a culture full of fear and violence
6/18/2015 1:56 AM
208
sometimes i feel that the fact of being a MK has been made too big issue
6/18/2015 1:42 AM
209
Every MK is different despite some common experiences
6/18/2015 1:26 AM
210
I consider it a great privilege to be a missionary kid and would not exchange this blessing to anything. My parents
showed that serving God is the best investment in life. They always said that if they had another life to live, they
would do exactly the same thing again, regardless of all the trials, health problems, poverty, hardships, lack of
results, hard work, and sense of failure and all. They taught us the best place to be always is the center of God`s
will!
6/18/2015 12:28 AM
211
Growing up, I wanted to become rich so I could help MK's--specifically to get decent clothing and with
orthodontics.
6/17/2015 11:37 PM
212
As an MK, I struggled with the lack of maturity among my age group in my passport country.
6/17/2015 10:40 PM
213
Not all Mks attend college in their passport countries and that leads to other cultural problems. Mks need to
realize that they do not have to handle the world on their own and should find help with a therapist or a church or
even a non-MK, to try and find a peace with where they are and who they are and will become. They should not
try to "change", sometimes who they are is enough.
6/17/2015 10:38 PM
214
We MKs need to stick together. Share information. Share insights.
6/17/2015 10:38 PM
215
We have no belonging. Our skin color says we are American but our mind, who we are, says we are from the
country we were raised in.
6/17/2015 10:16 PM
216
Growing up as an MK is a very special experience, but with that it also takes and sometimes breaks your heart.
Because of it you won't always feel like you belong, you won't feel like you're normal, you'll be insecure, and I
guess you eventually have to learn that that is who you are, and you'll need to work on it in order to face the
'passport' country. You can't always blame it on being the 'foreigner' anymore, you are expected to be 'normal,'
and learning how to survive and blend in is a crucial step in living back in your passport country. Coming out from
always under your sheltered living, you'll need to take the journey and time to figure out who you are not in the
MK setting, but in your passport country.
6/17/2015 9:04 PM
217
the best you can do for yourself is put your roots firmly in the Lord. Nothing lasts, and nothing will provide you
with peace, joy or contentment, apart from our Heavenly Father who does not ever change.
6/17/2015 8:37 PM
218
Just because I feel that part of my adulthood were negatively affected by being an mk, does not mean I don't
value the experiences, memories, and lessons I got along the way
6/17/2015 6:38 PM
219
I took the best of whatever situation I wad in and embraced it, I believe my parents taught me that.
6/17/2015 4:39 PM
220
Thanks! Your work is so valuable. You have and are making a huge, good impact in the lives of so many
missionary families.
6/17/2015 4:35 PM
221
People usually want to blame something when they have problems. All too often we want to blame the fact that
we are an MK when that really isn't the issue. The issue is living in a fallen world, suffering, sin, etc...
6/17/2015 4:12 PM
222
I had a very positive experience as an MK. I know many others who have not. I think my parents are who made it
such a positive experience, because we didn't lack for difficulties.
6/17/2015 3:29 PM
146 / 157
SurveyMonkey
223
I really wouldn't change it for anything. Being an MK was the most amazing and enlightening experience I could
have asked for growing up.
6/17/2015 3:22 PM
224
it was good, but i would never raise my kids in the field but would still let them travel and see many different
cultures
6/17/2015 3:22 PM
225
Only true way to live is in this moment, not in past or not in future.
6/16/2015 3:05 PM
226
Being an MK is important, but it doesn't make you permanently special and different. Everyone has their own
challenges and issues, MK experience is not more special than anyone else's unique life circumstances.
6/16/2015 8:24 AM
227
Being an MK makes you look beyond your own self and treat people as people first and foremost regardless of
culture and skin colour or language differences. All people, all equally precious to God and loved by him
6/16/2015 7:12 AM
228
It's become my unofficial mission to get everyone thinking about missionary service as a possibility, wonder if
that's the same with other MK's?
6/16/2015 5:14 AM
229
I would not change my past, but it has negatively impacted my ability to trust people who I am in relationships
with. I am constantly aware that they could leave.
6/15/2015 10:22 PM
230
It is an enriching up bringing that does bring huge benefits
6/15/2015 9:42 PM
231
The age of the MK when they go to the field I believe influences greatly how they adapt.
6/15/2015 8:05 PM
232
marrying an MK is the best!
6/15/2015 3:37 PM
233
Actually I don't want to be anybody else I am ok with MK
6/15/2015 12:52 PM
234
it was tough at times, but I wouldn't change it for the world, and am now living overseas with my 2 kids and
teaching in a mission school. I love tcks and mks and glad to identify as one
6/15/2015 8:21 AM
235
I believe everyone should spend 6 months overseas to broaden their mind.
6/15/2015 1:53 AM
236
Wish the younger MK's knew there are plenty of other MK's to mentor them if needed.
6/14/2015 9:50 PM
237
my husband and I are both MK's and now we are raising our own 4 MK's. But i hope that we are doing it with
more conversation and insight and proactivity for our kids than our parents did. it is ALOT of work, but it is worth
it!!
6/14/2015 9:31 PM
238
Much of my personal perspective on being an MK was influenced by parents who recognized that we were a
family and made a priority of that. I grew up on a mission station where we did alot as a community...holiday
dinners, Sunday evening worship, etc. My parents chose for us to celebrate some of those times with just our
family.We were never made to feel we had a standard to uphold because we were MKs. And we were allowed to
be kids, exploring our world with freedom.
6/14/2015 8:53 PM
239
There are no blanket answers for every MK. Each one of us has had different experiences that makes us who we
are.
6/14/2015 6:17 PM
240
Some people view MKs as perfect people that can do no wrong. Others view them as "projects" that come from
unstable relationships, etc. As an MK I just really want to be a "normal" person with cool stories to tell and
opportunities to use those stories as witnessing tools. Unfortunately, though, you nailed it on the head by asking
mostly relational questions. That's what has been the hardest for me. I have always seen my somewhatawkward/clumsy/less than perfect ability to build solid relationships as a direct result of growing up an MK. I love
it, but it's not without its downfalls.
6/14/2015 6:16 PM
241
MKs are just people just like ministers are just people. We all have issues, quirks, and we're not perfect! Nor
should we have to be! Just because an MK has issues doesn't invalidate their parents work! Why should we have
to be scared that supporters will drop us and that we'll go hungry just because we didn't perform like a proper MK
monkey for supporters? Its too much pressure for a kid. But I don't blame my parents because that is just the
unfortunate reality.
6/14/2015 6:04 PM
242
take good care of MKs returning to their passport country. don't push them away from church. they need loving
contacts - to feel at home in a different surrounding.
6/14/2015 2:20 PM
243
I am in my 50's now. For me the search for "home" has been lifelong. I have decided that I may never find home
and that's judt the way it I. I accept this as a state of being for me.i
6/14/2015 10:29 AM
244
Thanks for caring enough to do this type of research.
6/14/2015 10:28 AM
147 / 157
SurveyMonkey
245
It has taken over 20 years for me to feel confident enough to make long lasting relationships with people other
than my family. However, part of that is because I returned to the mission field with my husband and children and
didn't have a chance to really work on those long term relationships. Thanks for asking! :)
6/14/2015 9:20 AM
246
we mellow w age
6/14/2015 9:09 AM
247
cant wait to see results.
6/14/2015 8:33 AM
248
it made relationships as an adult easier because i knew i was different so put more effort into understanding
others
6/14/2015 8:08 AM
249
I've always felt that one of the things my parents did write in raising us overseas is giving us a balance of love for
our two or more cultures. Even though we lived, Worked, went to school in another culture My parents still
taught us how to be Americans. We celebrated American holidays, watch baseball on TV, eight American food.
So coming home or identifying with our American family and friends wasn't too difficult. At the same time we
celebrated the national holidays, ate the food of, and had friendships with people in the countries we were living
in. It was a great balance.
6/14/2015 8:04 AM
250
While there were difficult times and easy times, good times and bad times, I am greatful I am (was) an MK (I say
am cause my parents are still missionaries). I am greatful for all the experiences I have had. I know not
everyones MK stories will end like mine. I know some who never want to talk about their experiences as an MK,
because they dislike/disliked it that much. My hope is through reasearch like this, and people who are MKs and
TCKs who want to help other MKs and TCKs, that more stories will end with "As an adult MK I am greatful for my
childhood as an MK".
6/14/2015 7:24 AM
251
Many of these questions assumed a very negative experience, and focused a lot on the negative aspects of
being an MK. Be careful not to paint too broadly with the brush, as each of us have experiences that were unique
to us and interpreted differently. I have seen this even with my siblings. But by and large, we are all very
success, all of us married to non-TCK's, and loving our Heavenly Father who seeks us out daily.
6/13/2015 10:34 PM
252
You're doing good things Michelle. Keep doing them. People need you.
6/13/2015 9:48 PM
253
The 3rd culture experience gives immense advantages in our global society
6/13/2015 9:17 PM
254
Some things are difficult when growing up cross-cultural, but there are wonderful blessings, too. I wouldn't
change that experience for the world even if I could
6/13/2015 6:41 PM
255
Even as an adult, I struggle with understanding who I am!
6/13/2015 5:03 PM
256
they change. The mks today are different then when I was growing up due to the Internet and being able to stay
in touch more easily
6/13/2015 3:07 PM
257
I wish more mission boards would recognize the fallibility of their workers and help them instead of punish them.
6/13/2015 2:19 PM
258
There are so many different ways to grow up, and the persistent view that being an MK is special and singular is,
in the end, damaging to our futures. I wish I'd been more open when I left the mission field.
6/13/2015 12:38 PM
259
It can be amazing if the parents are intentional about caring for their children'shreds on the field
6/13/2015 11:58 AM
260
I went to over 70 countries and 48 states of America - I have friends in nearly every country. I would never trade
that childhood. The only problem is that the only person who thinks like me is my brother. Lol! Even among mk's I
am an anomaly - most of my mk friends were in one or two houses on the field. When people ask where my
foreign home is I don't have an answer. Its like I was raised in a fun but odd think-tank that over-educated me.
Now in real life, while I am not a brilliantly smart person, I have all these experiences and understandings of the
world that I relate to life on a daily basis and it freaks people out. I stop talking when I see people staining at me
like a deer in the headlights and I know either they think I'm lying or they just can't relate, lol! So half the time I
feel like I should just use a small portion of my brain to be polite and fit in. I have to work hard not to be cynical
and remind myself that I am the weird one, lol!
6/13/2015 10:48 AM
261
thank you so much!!! you're doing a good work
6/13/2015 7:07 AM
262
I would not trade it for anything.
6/12/2015 5:42 PM
263
I have found over the years that there are few MKs neutral about being an MK - either they really enjoyed the
experience or disliked it greatly. I feel blessed that I was a second-generation MK with a mother who had been
through the process (with even greater issues like prison camp during WW2) and I think she was able to
understand what we were going through (although she died quite young). My children our now 3rd generation
MKs, and 3 of the 5 desire to return to their adopted country and are in college or beyond planning for future
missionary service.
6/12/2015 2:59 PM
148 / 157
SurveyMonkey
264
It's important to understand the impact of being an MK, but most of the crises/issues are common to people in
other life circumstances too, though the details may differ.
6/12/2015 2:05 PM
265
that no matter what a person's story there are always shades of dark and light. As a USA public school educator,
I ache for some of my students and the situations they are in (addicts or alcoholics in the family, neglect, a parent
in prison, various types of abuse). Few people have an easy life. Many children feel "trapped" in their
circumstances. Being an MK required a certain amount of resilience, our struggles were particular to our TCK
culture, yet everybody (at least most) have things they need to overcome in life - things that can shape them for
the better or destroy them and leave them bitter. Part of the process of healing is deciding what we will do with
what we have been given.
6/12/2015 7:12 AM
266
It's rough, but you learn some things that other people will never even have the possibility of imagining. If you can
use the uniqueness of your experiences it will give you a hand up in the future.
6/11/2015 11:37 PM
267
I think that even though being an MK has been very difficult in many aspects I wouldn't trade those experiences
because they have made my faith much stronger. Also I wouldn't want to change the person I have become.
6/11/2015 10:43 PM
268
I am glad I was able to grow up as an MK, we had our struggles but I wouldn't say it is a bad thing.
6/11/2015 10:42 PM
269
Thank you for your research. Thank you for taking the time to listen to our "stories".
6/11/2015 9:27 PM
270
God is enough to heal any wound and make every story beautiful for Him! He is the greatest and constant
companion.
6/11/2015 8:41 PM
271
My parents did a surprisingly good job of including us kids (4) as members of their team before, during/on and
returning from the field. This inclusion removed the sense of having to fight God for their attention or love. Instead
we shared the joy our parents experienced in ministry and grew in our faith through those ministry experiences.
Not all of the other missionary families around us had this perspective and we watched several other families
crumble under the family/mission expectations. The pressure to be/appear perfect was an external one conveyed
from the missionary community, rather than from within our family. This external pressure from the missionary
community around us in the field (not from our own organization) caused the most
problems/hardships/dissonance I experienced being a MK.
6/11/2015 8:36 PM
272
Despite all of its hard times, I wouldn't trade it for the world!
6/11/2015 7:52 PM
273
Life is complex and it is hard to say that a particular trait is caused by a single experience
6/11/2015 4:07 PM
274
MK experience are different even in the same family
6/11/2015 12:17 PM
275
I think sometimes we let it define us more than we should.
6/11/2015 11:24 AM
276
I didn't feel pressure and knowing God was the constant in my life that helped mold me into who I am today.
Without Him, I would never have made it through all the experiences and transitions of growing up crossculturally.
6/11/2015 10:57 AM
277
I have such a hard time living with all the wealth and materialism of America. I wear myself out with efforts to help
the disadvantaged, connect those who have with those who don't and just so many causes.
6/11/2015 9:25 AM
278
I love Jesus and I believe the world needs to be reached. I also believe that it would be God's will to seek out
things that may have not been the best way of completing this task. I believe family and children are the most
important thing and raising awareness about MKs and what we need and go through is a great thing. I'm glad to
see more people looking into what we can do to reach the world and still keep everyone emotionally healthy.
6/11/2015 4:07 AM
279
Thanks Michle!
6/10/2015 11:03 PM
280
thank you so much for doing research to add more resources. TCK/MK books and advice and community are
desperately needed!
6/10/2015 10:11 PM
281
I feel that who I am is more strongly defined by how I was raised... in a loving, grace-filled home, than by being
an MK. Sure, it has marked me. I'm a cultural blend, and I adapt more easily. Curiously, I feel more comfortable
with my second culture than with other MK's.
6/10/2015 4:10 PM
282
Thanks so much for doing this! I would love to hear your results. Thanks for making this a priority :) God bless
6/10/2015 4:08 PM
283
I love it, I wouldn't ever trade my life for a "normal" one!
6/10/2015 2:44 PM
284
Balance - MKs are special, MKs have difficulties, but so do people from crazy backgrounds in the US.
6/10/2015 2:11 PM
149 / 157
SurveyMonkey
285
I wish MK's didn't look down on their "home" (sending?) countries so much. Or stereotype all of the "west" as
being wealthy. There's so much poverty and racism and brokeness in the US for example, but most of the
conversations I've heard discuss how much Americans need to open their eyes to how hard life can be abroad.
6/10/2015 12:56 PM
286
Even in the mission field and amongst other MKs, the most difficult part for me was that that I was the only
Presbyterian in my Christian school. So different Protestant beliefs made it very difficult to relate with anyone, but
my family.
6/10/2015 12:28 PM
287
I desire to be a missionary myself and have a strong desire to love and reach out to many people of many
different cultures
6/10/2015 12:26 PM
288
Many who have heard my story often pity me for the things that I have been through. I don't want to be pitied, nor
do I want to victimize myself. I don't regret the hardships or the struggles. I have seen, learned, and experienced
so much more than I could've imagined
6/10/2015 12:12 PM
289
It makes a huge difference having a good relationship with your parents. That affects a lot of aspects of our lives
other than spiritual.
6/10/2015 11:46 AM
290
total focus on "winning the lost" can lose sight of what might need saving in your own home.
6/10/2015 11:40 AM
291
NO one will tell you how to act when you're in a situation where you don't know how to act. Doing nothing in
those situations is crippling.
6/10/2015 10:58 AM
292
it is what you choose it to be
6/10/2015 10:51 AM
293
Being an MK is a lot harder than people think, for different reasons. Living in a foreign country is easy, because
that's normal. But coming back to your passport country is one of the hardest things an MK has to go through.
And you are an MK for life.
6/10/2015 10:23 AM
294
Holding on so tightly to your identity as an MK can be detrimental later in life. Being willing to put this special MK
title on the back burner helped me to identify and belong with other groups: teachers/colleagues, other mamas,
etc.
6/10/2015 10:09 AM
295
Having parents and other teachers or adults there to process transition makes a huge difference! I was blessed to
have parents and other caring adults in my life who took the time to ask the hard questions and listen well to the
struggles and difficulties I faced through many transitions. My parents were very intentional about building strong
relationships with us kids and I'm thankful to say that though transitions were hard, going with them and my
siblings was a blessing and it kept me going when everything else was changing.
6/10/2015 8:57 AM
296
Despite all the difficulties, I would never change my childhood of growing up as an MK
6/10/2015 8:34 AM
297
I'm curious about MKs raising MKs...if that makes it easier??
6/10/2015 8:23 AM
298
I am so grateful for all the Lord Jesus has taught me through all my life as an MK, as a tent maker missionary,
and now as a regular person in my home country. I truly believe that God does work all things for good to those
who love Him and are called according to His purpose. All to His Glory! When a person truly believes in God's
sovereignty, one is able to face good times and trials with trust and faith.
6/10/2015 8:11 AM
299
While benign an MK creates some difficult issues, the advantages vastly outweigh the negatives.
6/10/2015 7:56 AM
300
No matter where or in what conditions you might live, we can have a Comforter,Counsellor, Close and Dear
Father and Savior in have close and real relationship with God Almighty.
6/10/2015 7:34 AM
301
Be also careful about making the results into something more than they are. Too often MK's use their experiences
as a "crutch" to explain away their actions or behavior. Some of them need to grow up and move on more than
they do, they too often live in the past.
6/10/2015 7:12 AM
302
I'm proud to be an MK, and thankful for the ways God has used all those experiences to shape and inform who I
am as a wife, mother, daughter, and friend. However, I'm so glad to be learning American culture and investing in
the relationships I have now, even though they are not with people who understand what being an MK is like.
Balance is so important and humility: being an MK is not necessarily the ultimate way to define life. It is a
beautiful thread intertwined through the tapestry of my life, woven with other beautiful and important threads that
make me who I am.
6/10/2015 6:46 AM
303
Good job on focusing on the MK aspect rather than third culture kid aspect. TCKs will become more common and
less unique. MKs are truly unique and will never bece more common.
6/10/2015 6:30 AM
304
Things gained in MK life far outweigh the sacrifices
6/10/2015 4:26 AM
305
I wouldn't trade how I grew up but there are parts of it I would.
6/10/2015 3:48 AM
150 / 157
SurveyMonkey
306
I hope others are as happy with who and where they are as I am
6/10/2015 3:35 AM
307
I absolutely LOVE being an MK. I wouldn't trade my experiences for the world! Yes, it does have some negatives,
but overall, I couldn't ask God for a better way of life!
6/10/2015 3:25 AM
308
Everyone has their issues, but for the most part, we MKs got lucky to have these issues and not someone else's.
6/10/2015 3:21 AM
309
What a privilege it is to grow up as a world citizen.
6/10/2015 2:32 AM
310
MKs have so much to offer the world! We should not forget where we come from and what we've experienced!
We can't allow ourselves to just get stuck in that uneventful every day life: we have spark in us that we need to let
burn!
6/10/2015 2:04 AM
311
I felt like my dad only cared about his work for God. I know now that it wasn't true but I didn't know this while I
was growing up.
6/10/2015 1:38 AM
312
Growing up as an MK does not define who You are, YOU are who You choose to be
6/10/2015 1:20 AM
313
I'm glad I got to be one and learn to have a broader understanding of the worl. To see it in a different way and
allow it to make me a better person
6/10/2015 1:17 AM
314
I hope there's a lot of positive feedback and MKs who have had a good experience and not just those who feel
they have been negatively affected. I would love to raise my kids overseas, at least for a time, because I feel like
those experiences have helped make me a more well rounded person. It was well worth any inconveniences and
hardships that I encountered by not growing up in my passport country. I wouldn't trade those years for anything!
6/10/2015 12:11 AM
315
God is my comfort!
6/10/2015 12:10 AM
316
I am 46 and still not sure where I want to live
6/10/2015 12:05 AM
317
We're not better, worse, or normal. We're different, but that means both different strengths and different
weaknesses -- so we have an equal need for Jesus' grace and Jesus' people.
6/9/2015 11:36 PM
318
I think growing up as an MK is awesome but I think there's definitely more openness and discussion about how
hard it is that should be had and continue to be developed. I ignored most of those topics growing up and only
realized in college when I felt really different from anyone else that it might be related to my upbringing and not
just be a personality thing.
6/9/2015 11:03 PM
319
I wouldn't trade the experience for anything!
6/9/2015 10:54 PM
320
Going back as a missionary is not the only option when we grow up, but it is the easiest path to take.
6/9/2015 10:32 PM
321
This survey sounds like it could be some heavy reading if people include many comments. I hope you have
quality people to process the results, and pain, of people's responses.
6/9/2015 10:22 PM
322
Kids get dragged around to new places for a lot of reasons. MKs have the extra dilema of having to deal with the
reason for being dragged around, God. It's hard to find a rationale for not doing something for God, right? This
causes conflict. God is indeed good, but the conflict of being put into this situation, as a child, is a big steaming
pile of shit. Amen!
6/9/2015 10:16 PM
323
Sending Churches should get on board with praying for and supporting MKs.
6/9/2015 9:57 PM
324
I've loved being an MK and a missionary who raised 2 MKs on the field. Whatever adjustments we have all
needed to make in life are well worth the privilege it has been to see God at work in the lives of people. I know
my children (who are now 51 and 49) feel the same.
6/9/2015 9:49 PM
325
The joy of the Lord is my strength.
6/9/2015 9:46 PM
326
For all the pain and suffering, it was worth it because I found my own faith and grew strong in it.
6/9/2015 9:35 PM
327
I don't know about 3rd 4th gen mks but for 1st generation mks such as myself, the forced life can feel stifling.
6/9/2015 9:32 PM
328
MKs have many many advantages over monocultural kids, but they need more support from their parents, and
more stability, even if it is just keeping the same belongings when you move overseas.
6/9/2015 9:20 PM
329
There's a tension here: it's important to talk and think about one's identity and experience as an MK, yet we have
been taught (rightly but oh so thoroughly) that's it's not supposed to be about us.
6/9/2015 9:11 PM
330
I am proud of my heritage, my life in different countries, and my openness to foreigners.
6/9/2015 8:48 PM
331
Thanks.
6/9/2015 8:46 PM
151 / 157
SurveyMonkey
332
None
6/9/2015 8:44 PM
333
I wouldn't trade it for the world. I treasure the childhood I had.
6/9/2015 8:41 PM
334
I wouldn't trade the title of MK for anything in the world.
6/9/2015 8:38 PM
335
I worry about the many MKs who struggle when they reenter their passport country's culture. Of my closest
friends, only half made it through college and are in decent careers. I would like to know why, there is this all or
nothing aspect of being an MK. We are either very successful, highly insightful, productive individuals, or we are
dropouts, struggling with addiction, working in low end jobs. It seems so Manichean, and I can't make sense of it.
I hope you can, and report back to us.
6/9/2015 8:35 PM
336
focus on that gained not what you missed out on.
6/9/2015 8:31 PM
337
to be careful about over identifying. Some issues in life are shared by many and some are specific to an MK.
6/9/2015 8:25 PM
338
I wish the leaders of mission boards would be more honest about the difficulties when talking to their MKs
6/9/2015 8:19 PM
339
Every MK is OK being themselves, which will be different than any one else.
6/9/2015 8:13 PM
340
I still don't think I really understand the true affect the MK life had on me. I do not look back on it negatively,
however!
6/9/2015 7:53 PM
341
Being an MK comes with rewards and changes. It doesn't make us any better or worse off. It's just a different
way of growing up.
6/9/2015 7:50 PM
342
Missionaries, MKs need you to continue being in their lives because you are the family they know and you are
the ones who watched them grow up.
6/9/2015 7:36 PM
343
Parenting and community make the difference between a positive and negative experience. Parents planning to
raise MK's should spend many weeks/months in prayer before making the decision for their kids, and be willing to
abort when the situation becomes harmful.
6/9/2015 7:34 PM
344
I wish there was a cross mission support group financed by the mission boards for mk's who desire that help
6/9/2015 7:17 PM
345
I loved being an MK.... It was one of the hardest, most rewarding, most defining parts of my life and I hope to help
other MKs embrace their potential.
6/9/2015 7:06 PM
346
I would never give up my MK experience, growing up overseas and in the missions community impacted my life.
However, I think that on re-entry some sort of seminar would be helpful.
6/9/2015 6:52 PM
347
Many of us have had great upbringings with no abuse, good connection with a host country, hard but positive
experience at boarding school etc. Transition back to the US was not easy but can be done if we stop being self
centered, set apart stubborn that no one understands me...it is hard to write in this small spot not being able to
read over what I've written.
6/9/2015 6:44 PM
348
Most of the MK experience was positive.
6/9/2015 6:36 PM
349
I loved being an MK. My parents did a fantastic job of balancing their ministry in the village and raising their
family. I started at boarding school at age 7 and loved it. I was NEVER forced. Each year my parents gave me a
choice to go and or stay home. I chose to stay home for 5th grade. Hated it. Begged to go back to school and
was giving permission to go back for the second semester of grade 5. I thrived there. Its because my parents let
me go and never made me feel guilty for wanting to go. Nor did they ever make me feel forced to go. Or that I
was a distraction if I decided to stay home and not go to school. I loved it. Now I am a missionary and my kids
are MK's. They love it. (ages 17,15,13,5) Please don't just focus on the negatives--there are negatives in ANY
childs life. EVERY childs life. Being an MK is no different. Things happen, but God is there. Whether the things
happen in your home country or as an MK. Don't victimize us. Thanks Michele!
6/9/2015 6:35 PM
350
I don't fit the mold, even of a typical MK, & I detest being put into the MK box - i.e.: I'm often at odds with the
views of other MKs who don't care for their passport countries or politics or God. You can disagree with the
liberal, social justice mindset and still be an MK!
6/9/2015 6:28 PM
351
We can't be put in a box either. A single MK stereotype is detrimental to us just as much as to any other sort of
group of people. I think people stereotyping us according to an MK stereotype is one of the most hurtful parts of
being an MK.
6/9/2015 6:19 PM
352
Thanks for putting this together, I'm excited to see the results
6/9/2015 6:01 PM
353
My parents tried to protect us kids (at least the girls) from the culture. Therefore I grew up as a monolingual MK. I
missed out on one of the biggest benefits!
6/9/2015 5:52 PM
152 / 157
SurveyMonkey
354
Friendship and belonging is a two way street. I think sometimes MKs get so caught up in how different they are
and how "nobody understands me" but they don't make an effort to understand their peers from their passport
country, or lump them all together as "shallow" or whatever.
6/9/2015 5:48 PM
355
I really wonder how most MKs ever find a spouse who understands them. My wife is a board member's daughter,
so she shares a lot of history with my sisters and I. I really don't know how I would ever explain parts of myself
and my family to anyone completely "outside"
6/9/2015 5:39 PM
356
Thanks for asking about the MK perspective!
6/9/2015 5:37 PM
357
We are an awesome group with real needs and need help to relate to others
6/9/2015 5:33 PM
358
ongoing support via facebook groups helps even adults
6/9/2015 5:28 PM
359
I am glad that I was an MK- it has made me a more thoughtful person.
6/9/2015 5:26 PM
360
Both my brothers & I feel the reason we admusted so wellboth in boarding school & living in ones passport
country, is our parents. Their vital & loving relationship with Jesus & each other influenced us and gave us a
confidence & ability to adjust. My oldest bro is currently a missionary. The middle bro did 2 years overseas. My
husband &I wanted to be missionaries but were unable to go for several reasons. We did do several short term
trips
6/9/2015 5:25 PM
361
the world is coming towards those that were raised in third culture settings. We just got there sooner
6/9/2015 5:21 PM
362
Overall for me it was positive. My mom really framed our childhood in all the wonderful experiences we had
because we were an MK. I think that help make it a positive experience.
6/9/2015 5:10 PM
363
Thanks for all your hard work. I look forward to reading the results!
6/9/2015 4:59 PM
364
I want more novels about missionary kids. :)
6/9/2015 4:58 PM
365
I think my experience was better than most. I never did believe what my parents did and I feel that we need to
stop imposing our beliefs and cultures on other people
6/9/2015 4:55 PM
366
Our whole lives are affected by this chapter, but the whole of our life does not derive from this one section alone.
We all must grow as people into all areas of life. To not be like the person who is only the once upon a time
football star or prom queen. We are more than just the one time MK.
6/9/2015 4:45 PM
367
That even though you had a good MK experience and are doing good work to spread that, we did not all have
that, nor do we all value that. Some of us have spent thousands of dollars on therapy trying to get over how
messed up it was.
6/9/2015 4:44 PM
368
My husband thinks I am screwed up because I am an MK. The fact of the matter is I am an introvert and would be
out of step with everyone else whether or not I am an MK.
6/9/2015 4:38 PM
369
My parents were amazing. We were included in ministry and never felt like we were not their priority. I knew that
family always came first when necessary. They made all the difference!
6/9/2015 4:38 PM
370
There is a lot of negativity recently about the MK world with abuse etc. coming to light. I'm glad those things are
being revealed and safeguards now being put in place, and I'm glad more emphasis is being put on re-entry; but it
would be good to hear more of the POSITIVE side to this....
6/9/2015 4:37 PM
371
I love being an MK. It's one of the only things I've been able to identify as amidst the confusion of different
cultures
6/9/2015 4:34 PM
372
Even just doing this was cathartic for me. Putting labels on things in my heart.
6/9/2015 4:32 PM
373
I really think that more needs to be done in supporting the needs of those that have been abused while on the
mission field. I think mission organizations are making progress but there is much work to be done.
6/9/2015 4:26 PM
374
Most issues do not arise during the college years and most ministries focus on that age group.
6/9/2015 4:25 PM
375
I really enjoyed my overseas life... college was the hard part!
6/9/2015 4:23 PM
376
Just what I said above. People forget you are an MK and so when you make a cultural mistake it seems bigger.
6/9/2015 4:22 PM
377
MK's dont want to be aeen as mini versions of their parents
6/9/2015 4:22 PM
378
I think you could work on better capturing alternative voices (agnosticism/indifference). The survey's language
was occasionally off
6/9/2015 4:21 PM
153 / 157
SurveyMonkey
379
Fantastic experience to be an MK. A privilege. Taught me a lot about being an ambassador for Christ and this
world not being my home. Also taught me the reality of the spiritual world
6/9/2015 4:08 PM
380
That it really is a once in a lifetime experience that should be cherished.
6/9/2015 4:08 PM
381
I would like my kids to be MKs
6/9/2015 3:55 PM
382
Our past can contibute to our current thoughts and emotions. But our past never defines us. We were given
identity far before the beginning of time. identity or definition does not come from upbringing but from The Father.
He tells me His secrets. He tells me who I am; not my past. if my past defined me... I would be a very lost person.
6/9/2015 3:44 PM
383
I feel slot of how we makes perceive our worlds now is our attitude toward our expieriences rather negative or
positive. And our security in God
6/9/2015 3:41 PM
384
As I get olderI'm surprised how big an impact being an mk continues to have on my life and personality
6/9/2015 3:17 PM
385
M Kay's need better training and support for using the skills that are built into their
6/9/2015 3:14 PM
386
Thank you!
6/9/2015 3:09 PM
387
everyones experience is unique, some of it it family, culture and personality.
6/9/2015 2:33 PM
388
I think the best therapy is probably to be with other people (not just family) with similar backgrounds so as not to
feel so alone.
6/9/2015 2:32 PM
389
Homeschoolers face very similar issues and the research discovered here should be applied to them as well to
help avoid issue MKs deal with
6/9/2015 2:04 PM
390
The issue may be less us and more our misperceptions about everyone else.
6/9/2015 1:58 PM
391
Trying hard, not thinking of anything, sorry.
6/9/2015 1:55 PM
392
yes, being an Mk is different, but I feel that many of these kinds of things focus too much on that aspect, or
attribute too much of the way we are to where we grew up. I would like to see there being a focus on how Mks
personalities affect how they view their Mkness, as oppessed to how their Mkness affects their personality. I feel I
would have had different experiences and see some things differently if I were not an MK, however, I would still
be who I am. I think thats important.
6/9/2015 1:30 PM
393
Abuse didn't only happen at boarding schools
6/9/2015 12:49 PM
394
keep asking questions of us please
6/9/2015 12:42 PM
395
Just to touch more on my answer for #29. As I grown to understand myself more and more I am fascinated by
peeling apart how my own personality shaped how I see my experience as an MK. I guess when I say MK though
I also mean the entirety of how it shaped so much of who I am today- how the strong influence of mixed cultures,
heavy christian presence, travel and personality influenced my religious, sexual, creative, relational and every
other part of my development. Lastly- I just want to say thank you for the work you are doing to help us all with
growing in our understanding of ourselves.
6/9/2015 12:33 PM
396
To share it with missionary parents, to force them to acknowledge reality and not just assume their kids are fine.
6/9/2015 12:30 PM
397
6/9/2015 12:23 PM
398
Thank you for doing the research. If there is one MK that is helped by this, its worth it.
6/9/2015 12:09 PM
399
thankful for the experience
6/9/2015 12:09 PM
400
I wouldn't change my upbringing for anyone in the world, I just wish I'd had more opportunities to figure things out
and better ways of dealing with some situations.
6/9/2015 12:06 PM
401
the world is such a wonderful place. I'd like all people to integrate more and better
6/9/2015 11:38 AM
402
expat community is much larger, globally MK's expereince is the norm. normalizing the expereince rather then
making it seem so different.
6/9/2015 11:33 AM
403
you never stop learning and gaining insight into the way you are
6/9/2015 11:24 AM
404
6/9/2015 10:38 AM
405
I'd love to hear the results and how it can help me to better help my current MK students. (I teach at an MK
school)
6/9/2015 10:32 AM
154 / 157
SurveyMonkey
406
that Mk's would always try to trust in God, truly knowing that he will always help them.
6/9/2015 10:07 AM
407
Being an MK is like a secret club where you can meet all over the world and instantly know each other. We see
the world uniquely but must also learn to adapt to our current environment. We are not special, but we are can be
very useful.
6/9/2015 10:00 AM
408
I am glad that MKs today have people like you who will advocate for them and work at understanding how to
make their transition easier after leaving home.
6/9/2015 9:34 AM
409
Thank you, Michele, for investing in us as a community. YOU have made a difference in my life and continue to
do that now.
6/9/2015 9:34 AM
410
I would suggest we be intentionally nonjudgmental toward those who have departed from the faith of their
missionary parents. I've met so many MKs who've gone through this (including many who are still far away) that
there may be a cause-effect relationship between the MK experience and faith crises.
6/9/2015 9:31 AM
411
Michele, you are doing amazing work!
6/9/2015 9:28 AM
412
I have learned to capitalize on what being an MK has given me in terms of priceless experience and traits I can
market well. I recognize it's a big part of who I am and has had a hand in shaping who I am today. What makes
me sad is when MKs get stuck on their identity as an MK and can't move past it. You have to move on with your
life and figure out who you want to be AFTER your MK experience.
6/9/2015 9:17 AM
413
It gave me opportunities I would never give up.
6/9/2015 8:58 AM
414
dont assume all of us are damaged people. not all of us struggled as mks or 3rd culture kids. many of us dont
have issues with change/permance or making friends/saying goodbye to friends. many mks are amazing
photographers/videographers.
6/9/2015 8:47 AM
415
I'm hoping my daughter answers this about me ...:)
6/9/2015 5:14 AM
416
Being an MK can be hard. But sometimes, we seem to pity ourselves too much. We experience really hard
things, yes, but so do many other people. Our stories are no more tragic or exciting than anyone else's. There is
no need to be arrogant or wallow in self pity. Our lies are hard and our lives are great. Just like everybody else.
6/9/2015 3:15 AM
417
Thanks for doing this!
6/9/2015 2:34 AM
418
We're very special people. God has given us amazing gifts and privileges. It is a huge joy.
6/9/2015 1:54 AM
419
Study, embrace, and take advantage of your differentness. Seek out other TCKs.
6/9/2015 12:43 AM
420
thank you for your investment in this subject
6/9/2015 12:21 AM
421
im proud to be and have five children who are, MK's
6/8/2015 11:41 PM
422
it's been a great to be a part of this wonderful community
6/8/2015 11:10 PM
423
The hardest part about being an MK for me is feeling like my parents love God more than they love me.
6/8/2015 10:49 PM
424
That as hard as it is, I wouldn't give it up. I have witnessed God more clearly and felt his presence more
abundantly than I might have had I lived in Canada. Because I went so long with such pulled up roots and no
meaningful relationships, I learned to rely on God as my everything (kind of). He is my best friend and my
brother and my mentor and the person I turn to when my day sucks. And he is the giver of good gifts. And while
my self-perception is wayyy off base and I have no clue how to see myself as anything but a messed up person
with little to offer, at least I have a clear picture of the incredible, priceless gift that is my Father in Heaven. I have
a deeper love for him than most, I think , because I need him. He is the only consistent part of my life, and
sometimes is the only reason I'm still living it.
6/8/2015 10:25 PM
425
Great job!!! Thank you for doing this! I think the topic of finances and how MKs feel about having to make $ in the
"real world" would be an interesting sub-topic. I do not feel I was prepared very well. In non-missionary life it is
more possible to plan ahead etc. also the idea that earning $ is not "living by faith" is wrong and toxic!
Subconsciously I think many MKs feel that.
6/8/2015 10:14 PM
426
It is difficult for me to separate my MKness from other aspects of my developmental experience (family,
especially). Also, Thank you for doing this. Thought-provoking. I can't wait to read your analysis of the results!
6/8/2015 10:12 PM
155 / 157
SurveyMonkey
427
I need to go back and complete the first two surveys. My cousin is an MK and posted this and some of your
previous blog posts on Facebook. I cannot tell you how incredibly helpful your articles have been! Beautifully and
thoughtfully written with knowledge and understanding. Praise God for you and your ministry! I am a state-side
MK, but have lived in different regions of the country before phone calls were as economical and easy to make.
Being away from my parents families, who were both close, was difficult even though my parents appreciated
being away from the old legalism they grew up with in their backgrounds.
6/8/2015 10:06 PM
428
how can MKs deal with lack of belonging and feeling like an outsider looking it?
6/8/2015 9:40 PM
429
I wouldn't trade my experience for anything in the world.
6/8/2015 9:14 PM
430
stop criticizing my parents for their choices...that doesn't help at all
6/8/2015 8:56 PM
431
I'm glad I didn't have children while I was an adult missionary.
6/8/2015 8:51 PM
432
I think what you are doing through these surveys and other research and ministry is amazing and so needed.
Thank you for having the courage to dig deep in your own life as well as listening to the stories of others to be
able to help missionary families today and in the future. This ministry and education is SO needed. Thank you!
6/8/2015 8:50 PM
433
being an MK is a large part of who I am and has developed me into who I am now. I do not regret being an MK
and consider it a tremendous blessing!
6/8/2015 8:41 PM
434
It sucked at times-- but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
6/8/2015 8:26 PM
435
Wish there was a way to take the pressure off us. We are not perfect. But it is hard being scrutinized all the time.
Either by supporters or churches at home or by the ministry locally. I hated feeling dependent on others for
everything.(money especially)
6/8/2015 8:24 PM
436
There is no home and there never will be. No place will ever have your roots because places change, especially
on the mission field. You have to make peace with the fact that you don't have a home and you never will.
6/8/2015 8:20 PM
437
Everyone is different - I don't really know how well we can categorize what it means to be an MK, any more than
we can categorize what it means to be human.
6/8/2015 8:19 PM
438
Despite the loss and confusion and lack of belonging, I wouldn't change being an MK for anything.
6/8/2015 8:07 PM
439
I wouldn't trade being an MK for anything, even the hard things. I loved growing up overseas, in fact I'm still there
and prefer it that way.
6/8/2015 8:07 PM
440
MKs need understanding and acceptance for the rest of their lives, not just when they first come home.
6/8/2015 7:54 PM
441
Being an MK is wonderful, hard, beautiful, and rewarding, and it shapes you as a person, but everyone has to
grow up and adjust and figure out how it all fits in, it can't be your up front identity for forever, but you still won't fit
in with anyone, so don't forget where you came from but don't flaunt it
6/8/2015 7:53 PM
442
I am so thankful there are so many people today concerned with MK well-being
6/8/2015 7:46 PM
443
We want unconditional love yet we don't understand it because we feel we need to work for it
6/8/2015 7:46 PM
444
i think greater understanding of how being an MK impacted me would have radically changed how I experienced
the transition and viewed myself. Keep up the good work!
6/8/2015 7:45 PM
445
American (because that's all I have experience with) non-TCKs can be really mean. I came back to public high
school in rural IA and was picked on by other kids. They even hung a dead snake in my locker one time. Back
then there were no programs for MKs such as you offer, no guidance for navigating this other culture, etc. Thank
you for what you do!!
6/8/2015 7:42 PM
446
You will never fit in anywhere until you fit in with God and learn to trust and enjoy Him.
6/8/2015 7:41 PM
447
Keep doing what you're doing. It's so helpful to know you are not alone as an mk. When I discovered this in high
school, (thanks to a website called mkplanet), it helped me get through many of my feelings and struggles of
identity.
6/8/2015 7:31 PM
448
being an MK is a gift. There are painful things but I would not trade it.
6/8/2015 7:25 PM
449
How different we all are, and yet the core experience is so powerful that we bond immediately when we meet
another MK. Remarkable, isn't it!
6/8/2015 7:24 PM
450
I have been able to communicate some of this to my kids.
6/8/2015 7:21 PM
451
Jesus has used all that has happened in my life to uniquely shape me for ministry to women.
6/8/2015 7:10 PM
156 / 157

452
SurveyMonkey
I often wonder if the dull ache of homesickness will ever completely go away. It seems it will always be there
reminding me that this world will never truly be home. It's easy to despair that the best days are behind, however
flawed that thinking is, but I suppose the blessing of the experience was worth the pain of loss when it was over.
157 / 157
6/8/2015 7:04 PM

PARTS THREE To EIGHT

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Title

Copyright

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

PARTS THREE To EIGHT

Uploaded by

Copyright:

PART 3: MKs NUTS AND BOLTS

Have found a balance

Have over-developed roots (crave permanence and dislike change)

Have over-developed wings (crave change and dislike permanence)

Have found a balance between roots and wings

Use this space for any comments

I do not understand this.

Find myself leaning towards birth in certain situations

2 yrs is about our maximum.

Not sure if it's my MK background or my personality

PART 3: MKs NUTS AND BOLTS

but my life remains full of change

but both sides still cause pain

But I do think that I am finally beginning to find balance...

and must get to an airport and fly once a year!

This took a while to happen however

I crave permanence but feel like I don't know how to obtain it

Of course I don't know if my feeling of balance is due to being MK or not...

Neither. I have wings but crave roots

I've had twelve jobs in 12 years, only a few of which overlapped.

I fluctuate between the two but overall I want permanence

because I'm an MK I have no strong preference.

It took long time.

PART 3: MKs NUTS AND BOLTS

It took a long time!

This has changed for me over time.

I don't like to move and I don't like to say "goodbye".

Jobs and mortgages . . . it's like merrily wrapping yourself in chains.

Or both over developed and suffer from ups and downs

Waver between wanting roots and wings

I'm not convinced it's because I'm an mk

PART 3: MKs NUTS AND BOLTS

I still like to travel, as long as I can go home to the same place.

I have been at both these places, and still it varies.

crave both and dislike both at different times

I feel like I have over-developed "roots" and "wings".

But ironically don't want to travel

not extreem but it is my preference

And I love the flexibility that this gives me.

Grounded work and living. ADD when it comes to hobbies, travel

It took me about 20 years! I'm content at home...but I miss traveling

PART 3: MKs NUTS AND BOLTS

PART 3: MKs NUTS AND BOLTS

Havent tried to understand what its like to be an MK

Generally understand what its like to be an MK

Dont really understand what its like to be an MK

Dont seem to care about what its like to be an MK

Use this space for any comments

since my dad was also an mk i presume he does

Were MKs themselves!

not an issue for me

They feel guilt

Mom is an MK, dad is a military kid.

I'm a 4 generation missionary. dad was a 2 gen. MK so he understood

I was blessed with wonderfully loving, caring parents.

PART 3: MKs NUTS AND BOLTS

Both my parents are also MK's

Care about my thinking of being an MK, even if not entirely understood

My parents were also MK's, born on the field

Actually, I'm not sure. We haven't discussed it much.

Also don't seem aware of any MK issues.

They do indeed b/c they are both MKs.

They are MKs :)

My parents worked as dorm parents.

They were open, but had different experiences.

One of my parents was a MK and other made full effort to understand.