SamanthaNunez

ProfessorJackie
English101
September26,2015

WhenIthinkofYou

Therecomesatimeinourlivesinwhichwearegivenablessingunlikeanyother.My
blessingwasmyfather,myDaddyJose.OnJuly5th,2013,mypreciousgiftleftthisworldto
enteranother.Withhimhetookmyentirebeingbutleftmethegreatestpartofhimthattothis
dayresideswithinme.ThedayIwasleftbehindisadayIwishtoneverreplayinmyhead.
Therefore,thisisnotabouthispassing.Thisisaboutthepresentsheleftwithmeafteryearsof
beingloved,raisedandnurturedbythemostimportantmantoeverenteragirlslife.
IrecalltheamountofgrievingIputintohisabsence.ThoughmymotherandIhiditfrom
eachother,wecontinuouslybawledintoapuddleofemotionsinprivatesothatwewouldnt
affectoneanother.Irememberweepingbehindclosedbathroomdoors,allowingmyselfto
completelybreakdownthensteppingoutasifnothinghadoccurred.Iwouldthendrownmy
eyesineyedropstoveiltheamountofrednessbehindeachtearIhadshed.Notwanting
anyonetobeawareofwhatjuggledinmymind,Iwouldstepoutofmyhomeandwalkformiles
intonothing.ThewalksItookweretodistractmyselffrompain.Eachstepunwillinglysoothed
me.Ifeltcomfortintheactionofjustwalkingawayfromeverything.Itwasntallididthough,I
lookedineverydirectioninsearchforsomething.Isearchedforanythingthatcouldhelplessly
fillthevoidinme.Thoughthetightnessinmychestwasunbearable,Ifeltthehollowand
emptinessinme.Soisearchedforhim.Isearchedforreason.Isearchedforhappiness.And
withtimeirealizedthateverythingididcamefromhim.

Onachillynightofridingaroundinthebackofmomscarimadeherstopmidwayintoour
drive.Igotoutthecarandwalkedtowardsahomelessmanthatsatontheground,backleaned
againsttheoutsidewallofastore.Ikneeledbeforehimandaskedforhisname.Hegavemeit
andinexchangeigavehimmine.Ismiledandgrabbedontoagorgeousnecklacethatsat
perfectlyonmyneckofacross.Iclosedmyeyesandslowlyremoveditfrommyneck.
Daddy!,

i would scream when he would enter the house. His wide grin would immediately light up a room as
his mere existence gave off a powerful vibe of warmth and joy. He was always happy. He loved every
minute of life and what it had to offer. Being an illegal immigrant with low income and no credit
card, he, my mother and I would collect cans and plastic bottles out of trash cans in the park or
wherever a dumpster lyed. With all the money saved up from cleaning gigs and Coca Cola cans, we
were able to afford bits of furniture. You see, my daddys priority was to get a beautiufl clean
apartment for us before anything else. We got a lovely place on Hazeltine Avenue. The room was
spatious, and not just because it was completely empty apart from us. We slept on the floor covered
in blankets. But dont pity me, because a king sized bed was nothing compared to the warmth of
having mommy and daddy cuddled with you as you sleep under a roof, them literally being all that
you had, and you being all that they had. Rodrigo and Camilo will live with us until they are stable
enough to find work and a place to live on their own. he said one day as we already had two rooms
and furniture to fit in every spot. Rodrigo and Camilo had recently come from Columbia and were
living on the streets with no job. My Daddy gave them shelter and everyday would take them outside
in our little truck to spend hours and hours searching for work. I smile now because 13 years later,
they each have a place of their own with a wife and children.

I ki
ssedthecrossinmyhandand
gentlyplaceditonthehomelessmansneck.Igavehimanamountofmoneyandreassured
himthathenowhadmeasafriend.AnimmediatesmilecreptonhisfaceandIknewthathe
wasgratefulformysmallgesture.

IthrewmyhandsuptowardstheskyasImadethegirlsufferingfromdepressiongiggle.Her
cutsweredeepandshehatedherbody.Comeon!Lookathowprettyyoursmileis!Lookat
howmuchbetterthingsarewhenyousmile.
Chulahermosa
itoldherasshegiggledsome
moreandsmiledattheherreflectioninthemirror.Ilookedstraightintothemirror.
Chulita! my

Daddy would shout back at me when id run to hug him. My mother and I were identified by that
nickname. Gorgeous, pretty, cute he would call us in his Peruvian tongue as if reassuring us that we
were beautiful just in case we had forgot. Come on out! He would desperately say as he sat in the
hall of a clothing store. Number one rule was that if we wanted a new wardrobe, he absolutely
needed to be first in line to see us in everything we took into the dressing room with us even if we
werent going to purchase it. He would shower us in compliments in everything we wore even if we
felt insecure about the amount of belly popping out of a dress. He didnt care, he was confident in the
amount of beauty his little ladies held and did not allow us to body shame ourselves. Chulas!
Bellas! He would clap for us.
Itookmyfriendsarmandwrotemynamealloverhercuts.Before
yougoatitagain,rememberthatwhenyouhurtyourselfyouhurtme.Lookinthatmirrorand
rememberthatyourestunning.Whateveryougothrough,youwillgothroughitregardless.Do
youwanttogothroughitincutsandbruises?Orwithasmileandafriend?Itoldher.From
thenonsheneverdaredtoshamehergorgeousselfagain.
IgotteasedatasIquietlyreadmybookwhilewalkinghome.Theguywasinhiscar
laughingandinsultingmeforbeingsuchanerd.Iheldthebookbetweenmyhandsand
pausedonthelineiwason.
You need to have straight As mamita! You can do anything you

want if you study. Everything and anything you want in this world will come to you if you
work hard for it my Daddy would scold me whenever I would come home with a B on my
report card. He loved to learn. Knowledge to him was a drive, an expedition and it gave him a
high unlike any other. He wanted to be many things, he was never content with just one. His

curiousity filled his mind like that of a small child barely learning how to talk. When he came
to America he had first entered the cleaning business. Then he became a salesperson. Then he
went to school to became a cheif followed by a crazy job as a jounralist for a popular spanish
news broadcasting show. He worked in loads of restaraunts and businesses that i started to
call him a Da Vinci for his interest in several things. He gave no waste to the time he had in
this life. Hed lived more in a year than anyone could in their lifetime. He proved to himself
that he could be absolutely anything through knowledge. Through him i learned to fall in deep
love with my education and my worthiness, my capability to be whomever i desired. As he
continued to scold me a car cut him off. ****** de su madre! he yelled out and dramatically
slammed what was supposed to be the horn but for some reason was not cooperating. He
slammed and slammed it and i laughed as it made no sound. My Daddy always did have road
range.
Iheldthebookinonehandanddidntevenbothertolookup.Icontinuedwhereileftoff
andkeptwalkingasmyrighthandflippedoffthefuckerinthecarthatthoughthecouldmess
withmydreams.
IraisedtheprotestsignsasIscreamedforpeaceinaplacethatusesviolenceasitsultimate
resource.Amanbehindmetappedmeontheshoulderandaskedformynamethenshookmy
hand.Hiseyessparkledashewentonathowexcitingitwastohavesuchayounggirlhelping
outtheactivistgroup.Whenihadfirstgottenthereihadimmediatelynoticedthelackofyoung
faces.EveryonewasmuchgreaterinagebutneverthelessIdidmypartasnotjustsomegirl,
butasapersonfightingforwhattheybelievedin.
Yes we can! we roared together as we

marched through the crowds of people. I was only in elementary school but i proudly raised
my voice. My Daddy needed papers. He was illegal for over 12 years and feared to be
separated from me and my mother. As we marched on we were attacked by policemen with

firearms containing rubber bullets. My dad ran as he hid us in a store as the riot became
violent. People screamed and protected their children, men bled from the impact of the rubber
bullets though it was nothing close to severe. People shoved and pushed as a war broke within
the police and immigrants. As we hid away, his whole body covering me, people began to weep
including my father. All he wanted, all he wanted for everyone in search of the American
dream, was to never fear the loss of his family, his home, his work. He had nightmares of the
day he could possibly be stripped from everything, from 12 years of building an empire for
himself. We continued going to go because he taught me to fight. Fight, always fight for what
you believe is right even if you stand alone. But that will never happen because i will always
be on your side he would tell me. You have a voice mija.
Itookoutmyphoneasthemanin
frontofmegavemehisinformationforcomingeventsthathewouldlikemetohelptakepartin.
Iwasgivenmanyopportunitiescomingfromantibullyingcampaignstothebattleofeducational
rightsforwomeninthemiddleeast.Ivesincebegunmytinyjourneyasaspeaker.
Isatbehindthedeskofthepsychologistasshegavemethefeedbackonwhatshethought
wasgoingon.Shegavethebestofheradvicetomeandfortheremainderofthetimechit
chattedtillthesessionwasover.Shethentoldmehowshefoundmesoeasy,howihadso
muchinmymindbutneverallowedittoactuallygettome,ijustletitbewhatitwasand
remainedmellowandhappy.Ilaughedatthesoundwhichprobablydidntmakemelookso
sanebut,
his smiles filled the whole room. He was an entirely ecstatic individual. You could

sense his joy from across the building. He loved life and he loved everyone that resided in it. He
picked me up and danced with me across the room laughing and enjoying the atmosphere.
Come on dance! he would say as he shaked his hips to the beat of the music. He was a total
sober but even so he took more delight than anybody nearby. As a bedtime story hed sit me

down and would show me his geographic tongue that i soon learned was hereditary. When i
was i little boy, he would tell me, I asked the doctor why my tongue had cuts. And you know
what he said? He told me that it meant that i would be lucky, very lucky and that my life with
be filled with joy. Do you think thats true Daddy? i asked him. Of course mamita, i have a
beautiful wife and a have a beautiful daughter. Im the happiest man alive! he told me.
I
stoppedlaughingandlookedseriouslyatthepsychologist.HowcanInotbehappy?Lifeis
beautiful!Lifeisamazingandiwakeupeverydaywithanewopportunitytoenjoyeverysecond
ofit.
Ihuggedtightlyontomyremainingpicturesofhimandwishedforhisspiritswellness
whereveritmaybe.Iwalkoutsmilingeverydaywithnothingbutcompleteoptimismand
determinationtodowellbecausemorethananythinghetaughtmetolovelifewitheveryinchof
mybeing.Iwalkpasttreesandthinkofthetimewefedasquirrelricecrispieswhilepettingits
tinyhead.Ilookdownatmyfeetandthinkofthetimesiveclumsilytrippedonthegroundthen
gotcuredbyDr.Josewithourminifirstaidkitthatwealwayskeptbyusincaseoneofusgota
booboothenwewouldallproceedtosingthefamousmexicansong,
sana sana curita de rana
.
Butmoreimportantly,Idlookintomyselfandfoundthateverythingwasinplacebecausehe
livedinme.Hewasapartofme.Hewasalwaysandwillcontinuetobewithme.Ismileatthe
gracethatiholdbecausethatiswhathehasconvertedinto.Everythinggoodinmecamefrom
him,fromhisteachings,fromhislessons.AndasiwalkedontomygraduationstageinHigh
SchooliliftedmydecoratedcaptowardsthesunasitsaidIlookupintotheskyandsmileasi
thinkofyou.