AUTHOR’s NOTE

The main authors of this book are Vaibhav

Pundir and Shashwat Siddhant but there is
contribution from some friends of ours. We
would like to thank Rishabh Vaish, Sagar Walia,
Damini Deshwal and Swadha Gupta for their
valuable contribution. This book is for only
entertainment purpose. Any resemblance with
any person’s life is purely co-incidental. Read
this book when you are feeling down and I am
sure it will cheer you up.
 SPIDER VS SUPER:LETS SEE WHO IS THE MAN

a gal was walkin down d road, den suddenly d level of road increased..........
so now she was walkin up d road.......... the level of road increased bcoz she was
walking on the crossover bridge...the one wich get folded up so that ship can
pass....suddenly she saw that a cat got stuck in the bridge mechanism....nd the
cat was going to die bcoz she was going to b sandwiched between the bridge nd
the road...... den suddenly.........
evry1 started shoutin........
luk itz a bird, no itz a plane........
no, itz Funky Man........
yeah............
n Funky Man wid his unbelievable strength, stopped d bridge frm sandwichin d
cat.......... the funky man was wearing his underwear on th pants which
apparently lead us to conclude that he was SUPERMAN!!!the girl fell in love wit
SUPERMAN!!! but b4 d gal properly fell in luv wid superman, she started fallin in
water........ huh...... dumbo gal......
but den itz d superman again who cums 2 d rescue........
yeah.......
go superman.........
yelled every1...... bt that girl was spiderman's girlfriend......spiderman quickly
reached the place where his gf was in danger....he found superman there......he
was angry wit him bcoz he stole his gf....he chllanged him to battle....superman
accepted it but ask for a weeks time.....they both went out to gather their
army.....superman went to batman...nd spiderman to NAAGRAAJ!!!...... n den d
battles preparation tym was over n spiderman n super man came in d field...bt
den thier ex gf s came n started fightin on superman n spiderman...
but superman n spiderman dint want ny interference.........
so dey killed both der ex-gfs, sayin dat ek baar jo maine ladne ka man bana liya,
uske baad to main khud ki bhi nahi sunta......... they both got impressive
lineups.....SUPERMANS SINNERS-batman,hulk,fantastic four....
Spidermans rockerz-naagraaz,hancock,ninja turtles nd KRISH......the fight started
with spiderman taking initial gain..... spidy tuk d initial step by startin to swing
frm 1 building 2 oder to show how aggressive he was.........
but den 1 of d member of fantastic-4 stretched his hands nd caught spidy's
hands nd said " ab agar khuda bhi chahe to tujhe nahi bacha sakta.......
( den Balaji Telefilms tune starts playin......) then superman was joined by daud
ibrahim nd spiderman by osama bin laden who were fighting for underworld
supremacy......osama's long beard was burnt by jonny(fantastic 4)...nd osama
ran away....then daud started laughing....nd krish being a true indian killed
him.....both the teams were gud but hav suffered many damage.....in
suprermans team ony batman nd hulk were left.....rest all other hav died nd in
spidermans team ony hancock nd krish was left......then hancock,krish,batman
ndd hulk thought that y the hell r they fighting wen they won't get the
girl.....finaally un chaaro mein akal aagayi aur vo chale gaye.....leaving behin
superman nd spiderman to settle the dispute themselves..... after dey went, it
was all on superman nd spiderman........
superman sed" ab to ho jaye do-do haath but in PSP......
hearin bout PSP, spidy was amazed.......
he said dat even he had a PSP nd dat dey cud do Game Sharing in it......
superman was delited to hear dis idea........
den he tht dat ladki gayi bhaad mein.........
letz go home n play quietly........
PSP means play station portablebut they got in fight whether to play superman
or spiderman in PSP.......so they again get to the battle ground wit the challenge
that the will arm wrestle nd the winner will choose the game nd the will get the
girl also(yes, girl was again on their mind)....but as soon as they reach the battle
ground they saw the girl flirting wit tom cruise...then spiderman nd superman
realized ki ladki kisi ki sagi nahi hoti.....nd they apologized to each other nd
promise that they will never fight again nd decided to play FIFA on PSP........So,
finally TOM CRUISE again saved the world like he did in war of the worlds.....So
guys its time for moral of the story

Moral of the story is-ki ladki kisi ki sagi nahi hoti...never fight wit ur frnds over a
girl.....ur girlfrnd can ditch u but ur frnds won't......so value frndship more than
love.....
 OLD STRIKER KA KHEL KARA CID NE FAIL

Once a boy was walkin down d road.........

but suddenly to his horror, he had to walk up d road bcuz of d rise of level of
road..........
hehehehehe........... he was very depressed bcoz he was not selected in the
football team......he was walking wit football.....he jumped rite b4 the accident
can took major proportion..... nd dat was a gr8 escape........
he was glad dat he got away wid dat...........
but dis gave him sum power........ he now felt much more stronger...... he felt
sum sorta energy of futbal buildin up in him........ suddenly a spacecraft landed in
front of him nd took him in.....next thing he remember was waking up in bed in
hospital wit lot of extra terrestial beings roaming here nd theresurely dis was nt
planet EARTH, dese creatures were jus freakin him out........
but luckily dey knew english.......
so he asked 1 of dem were was he n who r dey.......
d creature answered dat dey were in a spaceship nd dey were goin to a planet
called akilion........ nd dat since dey were BLUE in color, dey were called d
AVATARIANS....... n belonged to a planet called AKILION......... he then asked
the purpose that y was he kidnapped to bring him here...they replied that there
is a inter-galaktic football league...but people on earth don't know abt it...nd that
there striker has retired nd the want another quality striker....nd they hav been
following him for quite a long time......nd they want him to became their striker
nd help them win the IGPL(inter-galaktic premier league) nd inter-universe
football championship....... d prsn declined d request...the avtarians got vry
angry nd demanded d reason fr d refusal...d prsn goes into a flahback nd tells d
aliens about his erlier lyf...he used too study in d universty of eden and was d
best player of football dre ..he was d smartest.coolest prsn der...nd every girl
had a crush on him..but he did'nt lyk ny one of dem..coz he knew dat dese gals
don't realy lyk him ..dey just wanna get famous..nd also coz he was in search of
his true soul mate..
den one day he saw a gal...seeing her his heart skipped a beat..differnt frm all d
gals he'd ever seen b'fr..she was vry diff..nd she created an aura of magic
around hr..walking nervosly..apart frm all oders..ven she saw him staring hr she
gave a nervous smyl...... just then avtarians asked him to stop...nd tell him that
girl is not the thing he wanted.....his first love was football nd alwayz should
be.....he then realized that football is the most important thing in his life.....he
accepted the proposal nd became their striker.....the team was boosted up wit
his entry.....every1 tried to make him feel comfortable...he started his trainung
nd was doing gud job..... but on 1 weirdo day, it happened nd every1 was
shocked 2 see it........
yes, der wuz sum sorta thing in d boy, he had sumthin special in him........ nd on
dat day, every1 saw it in the form of blue energy called d FLUX..........
d energy wich had been missin frm Akilion since years........
but this young boy, Bjork, had brought it back........ the akilion finally got wat
they hav been searching for years....they started the season on high
note......making their home ground a fortress with 97%wins....nd away record
was gud too......but the league was very competitive......there was another team
called THE CID team....with their captain always rotating his fingers nd giving
wierdo looks....they also got player called DAYA who always break the door of
the stadium he goes and also the bones of opposition team.....THE CID ws rite
now on the top of the league....nd it was going to be a two horse race for the
title.... so, the league continued nd both teams kept on winnin der respective
matches.........
but den came d day awaited by a million avatarians.........
yes, it was Akilion vs CID........
but b4 dat, trainin of dese 2 teams started vigorusly.......
the trainin wuz so harsh dat d boy wuz unable 2 take itz load......
1 day on the trainin, der coach, asked dem 2 sprint continuously for 30 mins.......
the boy got badly tired., so he stopped for a while........
but d coach spotted him resting nd scolded him badly.....
in anger he left d ground widout informin ny1, every1 tht he had 2 go to d
washroom as he had made a terrible expression b4 leavin........
but d avatarians found it weirdo as it wuz nt in der habit 2 go to d washroom
bcuz der digestive system was technologically advanced wich soaked der waste
product widin d body.......
but d next time dey saw Bjork was on TV, tagged as MISSING..........
( BALAJI TELEFILMS MUSIC.........) the akilions started a search mission for
Bjork..nd they finally found him on PURANI PAANI KI TANKI KE ANDAR....he was
dead.....now the suspicion of killing him was on THE CID TEAM....bcoz they were
akilions closest rivals nd without Bjork it would be nearly impossible for akilions
to win the league.....so the CID(SONY) were called from INDIA
toinvestigate.....ACP pradhyuman while rotating his fingers nd giving wierd luks
ask abhijeet that who would be most benefitted wit the death of BJORK....he
said THE CID TEAM.......ACP said that he was in no mood for joke.....but abhijeet
said that sir their is one CID team in this league who r very similar like our
team.....so ACP said while rotating his fingers nd partly closing nd opening his
right eye that -"chalo unhi se milte hai....shayad kuch pata lag jaaye" The indian
CID team den goes to meet the CID futball team........
as usual, indian DAYA tries to break d door but it duznt get broken as it wuz
made of AMBUJA CEMENT- HAR NIRMAAN KI JAAN....... so dey had to knock.......
den der coach opened d door....
ACP sed to take der fingerprints.......
DR. Salunkhe stepped up 2 take it...... n after takin every1's prints he took it 2 d
Forensic Lab.......
IN D FORENSIC LAB
ACP asked- kuch pata chala? (shakin his fingers)
Dr. salunkhe after playin wid sum color changin liquids in d test tube answered
dat
" aaj chamak nahi raha aapka face
it luks like a complicated case......."
den both start playin poor shayari competition
after a while, daya cums in after breakin anoder door sayin dat......... 1 of d CID
football team is d killer..........
(BALAJI TELEFILMS MUSIC) it came as a gr8 shock.....the finals was only 4 days
away...nd it was b/w akilions nd CID team...so CID got only 4 days to solve the
case.....salunkhe asked fredrick to bring the body....as soon as fredricks got
there the body was gone.......he informed ACP about this....ACP said while
rotating his fingers-"aakhir laash gayi to gayi kaha???'...then ACP said ki shayad
daal mein kuch kaala hai....abhijeet said-"SIR daal mein kuch nahi puuri dall hi
kaali hai meri tarah".....finally the day of finals arrived.....lekin kaatil abhi bhi
aazaad ghuum raha tha....as soon as kick off was going to happen to evry1's
surprise BJORK came in nd said-"ruk jaoo....yeh match mere bina nahi ho
sakta"....akilions coach asked them ki who was he....he was dead....bur BJORK
said that i was not dead....it was plot to catch the one who was trying to kill
him...the one who was dead was sum other person jiski platic surgery ki gayi
thi....(BALAJI TELEFILMS MUSIC) ab main aagaya hoo........ haan, dis iz me nd m
bac wid a bang........... sed BJORK...........
sum1 was jealous of me, ma talent n ma FLUX..........
nd hez here in dis stadium..........
the crowd gets excited
(BALAJI TELEFILMS MUSIC)
but d killer who killed dat person was a DUMBO as he dint manage 2 kill him
fully...........
every1 declared him dead, but no, he wasnt..........
nd so he told me everythin who tried 2 kill him.........
nd it was ( voice echoes)
( BALAJI TELEFILMS EFFECT)
d striker whom i replaced...........
yes, it wuz him........
dat striker wuz watchin d match........
so he tried 2 run away frm d door as d door had been broken
bcoz of d entry of d two DAYAs...........
but inspector abhijeet wuz der 2 stop him, he brought him 2 ACP Pradhyuman nd
d ACP asked him y he did it......
d retired striker replied dat he dint do ny thing.......
WHACK!!!!!!
Daya ka 1 rapta
sab batata hoo, i wuz feelin jealous, wen i used 2 play wen every1 called me
irrreplaceable, but after d arrival if BJORK everythin changed every1 forgot
me.........
dats y i did dis ....... dats y i did dis (cryin)
ACP Pradhyuman- kuch bhi ho, plan bahut achha tha...... i like it.......
lekin afsos CID aagayi.....ab jail mein baithkar banana plan...tumhe to phaasi
hogi phaasi"

Moral of d story- Be contended wid wat u hav.......

dont luk for sumthin extra n yes, CID SE PANGA NAHI LENEKA , KYA
hehe.........
EPILOGUE-so everything's rite now.....bcoz the killer was caught.....but the finals
was left.....so the final started on high ote after a lot of drama.....the CID scored
3 goals in the first half....then in the second half AKILIONS incredibly came
bak......they levelled the score 3-3....the match has to be decided by
penalties.....CID scored all of their five penalties.....now it turn for BJORK to
score the penalty....but as he was going to score the penalty the memory of his
childhood hero came in his mind-MR. JOHN TERRY.......nd bcoz terry missed the
penalty in his days.....so BJORK decided to miss this one.....BJORK ne paise
khaaye te....nd he missed the penalty.....nd CID won the championship.....SRK's
film said that-jab tak sab kuch accha nahi ho jaata tab tak there is no d
end....lekin SRK ki baat maanta kon hai......so this story haven't gt happy
ending.......

2 moral of the story-there r not always happy endings in life

SRK is looser......
aur chahe case solve karna ho ya phir championship jeetni ho.....CID IS THE
BEST!!!!hahahaha

CID NE KHATAM KI KRK KI ROTI

a boy was walking down the road..... but suddenly to his horror, he had to walk
up d road bcuz of d rise of level of road.......... now he was walking up the
road....as he was walking he found the ROADIES-7 sign.....as he hav done
nothing in his life....so he decided to give the audition for ROADIES-7....so he
went inside nd gave the audition....he entered the room nd there was horror
waiting for him......RAGHU ND RAJIV......they both greeted him warmly nd then
asked...aur be phatoo kaisa hai??????....uski vahi phat gayi.....rajiv asked him
aur be tu jaayega AFRICA.....teri kuch bas ki hai......phatoo kahin ke..... after
hearin dis, saare bade-bado ki phat jaati, to den wat was he?
den d torture time started...........
RAGHU- arre phattu , KAAL KARE SO AAJ KAR

AAJ KARE SO AB

SAAMNE CHAIR PADI HAI,

BAITHEGA KAB?
wen he sits on d chair, sum kinda sound cums.....(hope u can GUESS wat kinda
sound)
after hearin it,
RAGHU- ABBEY, sharam nhi aati phattu, kahi bhi kuch bhi kar deta hai......
RAJIV- aise gadhe GLOBAL WARMING ke liye responsible hote hain..........
chale aaye ROADIE banne.......
but den wen he tried to clarify dat der was a WHOOPIE cussion on his chair, den
rajiv replied- U ARE ANSWERIN BACK? ABBEY TERE JAISE HAZAAR PHATTU KO
HUM DONO BALD BROTHERS EVERYDAY HANDLE KARTE HAIN........
RAGHU- MERE BHAAI KA NAAM HAI JODIE

U CANT BE A ROADIE.......
hearin dis he got dejected, nd as he wuz walkin bac, sumthin happened nd he
was NO MORE........
nd as he wuz walkin bac, sumthin happened nd he was NO MORE........seeing dis
raghu and rajiv ki phat gayi.......phir they calledd world famous CID......... a blue
scorpio arrived.....ACP came out shaking his finger ........and said......."daya
darwaza tod do".......daya gave 1 tight kick and.....door was down............and
den ACP said"akhir laash gayi to gayi kaha" den as they wer watchin here n
der......... some blood felll on rajiv's head n the ACP looked up n the body
ws ............stuck to the ceiling........ they all shifted their gaze towards
ceiling......the laash suddenly fell down.....raghu said-"phatu kahi ka.....mar
gaya....."
is baat par daya bola-"mera special rehepta khaoge to ganje tu bhi upar pohoch
jaayega...."
raghu said-"abe tu hai kon......dharti pe bojh...."
is baat par daya apna special rehepta dene hi vaala tha lekin ACP bola-"bohot
garmi hai tumhaare andar.....yeh batao ki yeh yaha pe kyun aaya tha..."
then ayushman who host the auditions said that-"ab yaha par koi chole bathure
toh bechne to aayega nahi...vo to roadies ka audtion dene aaya tha...."
tabhi vaha par SHIN CHAN aagaya........shin chan aaya aur bola-
"ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh.....mein shimla mirch nahi khaunga....."
ACP bola-"bache tum yaha par kyu aaye ho"
shin chan bola-"budhe uncle kya tum nahi jaante mein actionkame ka assistant
hu...aur maine suna hai yaha par murder hua hai.....mein case ki tehkikaat karne
aaya hun....."
tabhi ek goli chalne ki awaaz aayi aur ayushmaan bhi mar gaya.....chaaro taraf
dhua ho gaya aur ACP ke haath mein ek note aaya kisme likha tha
"CATCH ME IF U CAN....OONGLI HILAANE VAALE BABA"
ACP bola ki ab toh yeh case uski unglih hilaane par chala gaya.....ab to case
solve karna hi padega... ACP- oongli hilana he mera kaam

doondh loonga us murdere ka naam

Abhijeet- vavavava.......
Sir, aapke talaffus to bade fuss nahi hain........
aapko to kisi shayari competition mein jaana chahiye..........
ACP- abhijeet, iska koi faayada nahi, tumhe promotion tabhi milegi jab tum DAYA
k saath flirt marna band karoge.......
GAY kahi ka.........
suddenly DAYA started interrogating wid RAGHU N RAJIV
DAYA- tum bachpan se ganje ho yaa wife ne baal noch-noch ke ganja kar diya?
Shin-Chan suddenly interrupted sayin" arre DAYA uncle, aapke paas do hi shirt
he kya? jab dekho blue ya black shirt pehenkar moo oothakar chale aatey
ho........
den he switched on to ACP nd started askin him WEIRDO Qs like" arre uncle, aap
to vahi ho na, jo 13 saal se SONY TV ke viewers ko apni ghatiya acting aur
bakwaas facial expressions se logo ko daraate ho?
ACP- DAYA, is londe ka bajaana hoga GAME

vaise mujhe lagta hai ki mujhe mil gaya he bahut saara FAME.........
VAVAVAVA............
den suddenly RAJIV slapped DAYA........
(BALAJI TELEFILMS MUSIC)
DAYA- wat was dat for?
RAJIV- kyun? har kaam ke liye koi reason dena zaroorri hai kya? teri shakal
dekhke to lagta he kisine 10 din ka aata(flour) ek saath goond ke rakh diya ho....
PARANTHA kahi ka..........
SHIN-CHAN- haa, inko dekhke lagta he ki, kisi ne inka sar pack karke AMUL MILK
CAN mein pack karke rakh diya ho.......
inke head ka shape to bahut WEIRDO HAI........
DAYA- Bas ab aur nahi........
(BALAJI TELEFILMS MUSIC) daya-ab mein aur nahi seh sakta...tum logo ne meri
bohot beizzati karli ab mein tumhaari beizzati karunga.....abe rajiv tune mujhe
chaata maara...ab tu dekh mere TIGER REHPTA....tujhe batata hu mein....nd
then daya slapped RAJIV....
SHIN CHAN-oooooohhhhh....itni jor ka rehpta to maine aaj tak nahi
dekha....daya uncle aap sumo ke bacche ho kya????
daya-nahi,mein apni mumy ka baccha hoon...
Rajiv after gaining his consciousness...-abe tune to rehpta maarne mein master
degree kar rakhi hai...tujhe to roadies mein hona chahiye tha....tu CID mein apni
kyun marva raha hai.....
Daya-mein hamesha se roadies banna chahta tha lekin yeh ABHIJEET se mein
pyaar karta hu......aur vo mujhse aur hum dono ko bhagwan bhi alag nahi kar
sakta(BALAJI TELEFILM MUSIC)
ACP-ab agar tumhaari faltu baatein khatam ho gayi ho to case sove
karei.....kaatil ne meri uungli hilane ka mazaak udaya hai.....mein iski *** uda
dunga......chalo ab puuch taach karte hai....
ACP-Raghu tum batao ki kya hua tha.....
SHIN CHAN-arey ungli hlaney vaale uncle....raghu uncle kya baatayenge.....inhe
audition ki second host BANI ko dhekne ke alawa kuch nahi aata.......
ACP-mera dimaag khaarab ho jaayega.....aakhir kaatil hai to hai kon....aisa kaise
ho sakta hai ki itne saare logo ke beech mein khoon ho gaya aur kisi ne dekha
bhi nahi.....zaroor tum log CID se kuch chupa rahe ho......
Rajiv-mein to bus yeh 100rs. ko note chupa raha hoo jo maine abhijeet ki pocket
se maara hai......
Shin chan-ACtion beep beep beep beep beep......
ab jo ACP uncle k baato ka jaawaab nahi dega to main usse apni underwear
utaar ke dikhaunga......OOOOOHHHH!!!hahahahaha
ACP-thank u shin chan....ab sab log sach sach batao ki kya hua tha.....
tabhi vaha par ek watch man aajata hai aur kehta hai ki main batata hu.......
ACP-haa tum batao ki kya hua tha......
watch man-jab vo aadmi auditions deke baahar nikla to vo bahut udaas
tha....raghu nd rajiv ne uski phaad di thi....to vo baahar aakar BANI se flirt kar
raha tha jisse vo apna mood sahi kar sake..........is baat ka pata rajiv sir ko lag
gaya tha.....vo baahar aaye aur tabhi humne ek goli ki awaaz suni aur yeh ladka
mar gaya.....mere hisaab se to kaatil rajiv hi hei.....
RAJIV-nahi maine kuch nahi kiya.....
daya give rajiv his TRADEMARK rehepta.....
RAJIV_nahi maine kuch nahi kiya...
ACP_lagta hai isne sach much kuch nahi kiya.....varna DAYA ka rehepta khaaakar
to maine bhi kabool kar liya tha ki maine apni underwear mein ABHIJEET ki
chocolates chupaayi hai......lagta hai khooni koi aur hi hai......
(BALAJI TELEFILM MUSIC) den suddenly SIIDHARTH cumes and he sys"muje pta
h khooni kon h...."
every1 luks at him n asks
he says "muje to phele se mohoit pe hi shak tha kyunki mene suna tha ki vo ldka
joana ka BF tha to gusse me usne usko mar diya"
tabhi tabhi AAJ TAk wale aa jate hain n vo shuru ho jaatein hain"chain se jagna
h to uth jao......varna bhag jao"
n den ACP se puchta h "aap batayiye aakhir hua kya?"(BALAJEE TELEFILMS
MUZIC)
ACP-hum ye case solve hone pr sb btadenge....... tbhi tbhi karan arjun wali maa
aati h n bolti h"vo aaye the mere karan arjun aaye the.........vo audition dene
aaye the....lekin phir pta nhi kahan chle gye...?tumne dekha kya?"
ACP-yeh case to aur bhi jyaada complicated hota ja raha hai......abhi toh murder
case solve nahi hua ur yeh ek kidnapping ka case aur aagaya...ab yeh karan
arjun kon hhai.....pata lagao(shaking his fingers nd giving wierdo luks)
aur yeh ROADIES mein splitsvilla ki kahani kaise aagayi......yeh mohit to chole
bhature vaalo ka baccha tha.......yeh kisi ka murder nahi kar sakta.....vo toh bas
chole bana sakta hai.....
DAYA-sir mujhe to yeh sab mile hue lagte hai.....aap kaho toh in sab k ghar k
darwaaze tod du????
ACP-nahi....tum ghar ke darwaze mat toda karo...mujhe in sab logo ke ghar ke
darwaze ke paise dene padte hai..meri biwi mujhse bohot naraz rehti
hai.....kyunki tumne hamare ghar ka bhi darwaza tod diya hai..
DAYA-sir aapke ghar ka kya maine to apne ghar ka bhi darwaza tod diya hai......
ACP-accha faltu ki baatein band karo....ab chalo tehkikaat karte hai..
dey all wen to meet sidharth...
ACP-tumne mohit, jo ki chole bhature ka baccha hai uspar murder ka ilzaam
kyun lagaya hai....main jaanta hu ki tumhaara kuch relation hai khoon ke
saath...jaldi batao(shaking his fingers)
DAYA-batate ho ya phir du ek TIGER rehepta????
daya gives a tiger rehepta to sidharth
sidharth-mujhe sab kuch yaad aagaya....mein hamesha se ek CHOLE BHATURE
BECHNE VAALE ka baccha banna chahta tha.....lekin kismat ne mere saath dhoka
kiya.....ab mein chole bhature ki bajayae MOMOS ka baccha hoon.....islye maine
jealousy ki vajah se mohit par ilzaam laga diya...lekin mujhe yeh nahi pata ki
khooni kon hai....aap JOANNA se puuch taach kariye.....shaayad kuch pata lag
jaaye....
CID now goes to joanna....nd SHIN CHAN is wid dem also...
seeing joanna...SHINCHAN said-aunty aapko shimla mirch pasand hai
kya?????mujhe toh bilkul nahi pasand..pls shaadi ke baad shimlamirch mat
banana....
joanna-yeh besharam baccha kon hai..
SHINCHAN-taarif ke liye shukriya....mujhe sharm aa rahi hai......btw mein hoo
SHINCHA NOHARA...sabne pukara....sabka dulaara....5 saal ka SHIN CHAN
NOHARA....
ACP-shinchan humein JOANNA se puuchtaach karni hai.....
(BALAJI TELEFILM MUSIC) SHIN-CHAN-okey dokey, aaloo lokey.........
aap pooch-paach karo..........
ACP- ARRE POOCH-PAACH NAHI, POOCH-TAACH........
SHIN-CHAN- thik hai aap jo karna chahte ho karo........ vaise bhi 5 baj gaye
hain.........
ae AUNTY aapke chote se bekaar ghar mein TV hai kya? mujhe ACTION KAMAIN
dekhna hai........
JOANNA- haa hai ab jao dekho mujhe pareshan mat karo......
SHIN-CHAN- main to bachpan se kisi ko pareshan nhi karta tha........... vo to
meri MOM hai ki mujhe scold karti rehti hain.........
pata hai, vo 36 saal ki hai par sabko apni age 32 batati hai........
par main ek baat sahi bata raha hoo.......
MAIN HOO SHIN-CHAN NOHARA
SABKA PYAARA, SABKA DULAARA
UMAR 5 SAAL
HOO NA MAIN KAMAAL.......
tabhi vaha KRK aa jata he....
KRK- main hoo asli KAMAAL........
par ye yaad rakho
meri chaay france se aati he
mera paani England se aata he
aur mera......
SHIN-CHAN interrupts......
arre uncle........
aapki chaay aur paani to kahi aur se aati he, par aap kaha se moo uthaake chale
aaye ho.......
arre, ab yaad aaya........ aap to vahi ho na jo B-CLASS producers ke C-CLASS
films karte ho aur DESHDROHI-2 banakar hame TORTURE karne ki soch rhe
ho..... KRK-haa mein vo hi hun.....jo ki VINDU ke saath BIG BOSS ke ghar mein
tha....aur mein CID ki help karne aaya hun....aur tumne pichle vakya mein
dhyaan diya ki maine angrezi ka shabd HELP bola....isliye mujhe ab gavar mat
bolna...varna tumhe france ka paani pila dunga.....
SHIN CHAN-lekin uncle aap ka paani toh england se aata hai.....aap france ka
paani kaise pilaoge?????
KRK-beta yaha par pol mat khol.....mera paani aur chaai france aur england se
nahi aata....mein to municipal corporation ka paani piita hu....
ACP-bohot ho gayi bakwas.....ab batao ki tum is case ke baare mien kya jaante
ho????
KRK-joanna ko kuch nahi pata....isse puuch taach mat karo.....
DAYA-toh ab tum bataoge ki humein kisse puuch taach karni hai aur kisse
nahi.....
KRK-abe tu kon hai be.....tere se jyaada tankhwa to mere nokar ki hai be......
DAYA-abe kutte ki tarah gali mein padi roti khaane caale chuchundar.....tu
bakwas mat kar varna duunga ek TIGER REHEPTA
KRK-nahi bhaai maaf kardo.....TIGER REHEPTA mat dena....
ACP- ab batao ki tum kya jaante ho....
KRK-mein us din vaha tha jab us ladkay ka murder hua tha....
ACP- tumne kuch dekha?????
KRK-abe oongli vaale baba.....bhagwaan ne aaknh dekhne ke liye hi di
hai...buttaon nahi hai.....vaha par tha toh kuch to dekha hi hoga na......
DAYA- bohot bakwaas karta hai tu.....ab jaldi bata varna dunga ek TIGER
REHEPTA.......
KRK-batata hu......vo ladka reject hone ke baad jab baahar nikla toh voh baani
se flirt maar raha tha.....tabhi rajiv vaha aagaya.....usne isse yeh karte hue dekh
liya.....uske baad maine dekha ki rajiv ji ne bandook nikali...phir dhua utha aur
maine ek goli chalne ki aawaaz suni....mere hisaab se khuuni rajiv hai.....
ACP nd DAYA walked out from joanna's home.....
NOW IN THEIR JEEP WHICH CHANGES COLOUR IN EVERY EPISODE......SHIN
CHAN IS WIT THEM
daya-sir watch man aur KRK dono keh rahe hai ki khooni rajiv hai..........
ACP-lekin tumne toh rajiv ko TIGER REHEPTA maara tha....lekin vo tab bhi kuch
nahi bola.....
DAYA-sir lagta hai vo bahut sakht mitti ka bana hai....usse chalkar phir se puuch
taach karte hai.....
ACP-haa chalo phir se puuch taach karte hai shaayda kuch pata lag
jaaya(SHAKING HIS FINGERS)
abhijeet-sir ek kaam karte hai....DAYA ka tiger rehepta to uske upar kuch asar
daal nahi paaya......toh hum fredricks ki bakwas shaayri use sunvaayenge...aur
uske saath jab apne gande luks dega toh alag hi baat banjaayegi....is torture ko
toh SALMAN KHAN bhi nahi jhel sakta....
dey all take rajiv to fredricks......
now fredricks start his very poor shayari......
(BALAJI TELEFILMS MUSIC) FREDRICKS- IN CID, I AM AN INSPECTOR

DISEASE-CAUSING MOSQUITOES ARE CALLED VECTORSSS..........

vavavava...........
vectors are mosquitoes
i like CHEETOS
vavavava.......
isi baat pe ek shaandar, dhamaakedaar, tezdaar, havadaar PJ..........
der were 2 friends.........
JO nd WO
one day JO went to a haunted place........
he got very scared dat day.........
very very scared
(BALAJI TELEFILMS MUSIC)
but wen he got scared, WO died.......
now tell how iz it possible.........
RAJEEV- i dunno......
FREDRICKS- arre donkey, JO dar gaya

WO mar gaya.....
hahahaha.......
(laughin helplessly on his own joke)
after realisin dat he was d only 1 laughin, he got into sum serious shayari...........
RAJEEV, bata de sachhai......
varna khila doonga chuhe maarne vaali davaai......
i kno dat u r the khooni.........
u cant play like ROONEY.........
u r d murderer, i kno dat
balla ko english mein kehte hain BAT..........
vava......
after so many POOR shayaris n jokes, still der was no answer frm RAJEEV.........
CID was now becumin helpless.........
wat can dey do now?
dis case wuz gettin complicated
(BALAJI TELEFILMS MUSIC) this was the toughest case ever for CID.....ACP
called fredrick and ask him to tell even more pathetic shayari nd PJs.....
fredrick was now giving his last try
fredrocks-ab rajeev sun duniya ki sabse ghatiya shayari...
if u will not tell the sachai now......
I will give u a BHAJJI POW......
rajeev-samajh mein nahi aayi.....
fredricks-abe tu hai hi nasamjh.....bhajji ne pichle IPL mein sreesanth ko ek POW
diya to tha......
rajeev-ab samajh mein aaya mujhe
fredricks-tu samajhta nahi hai baat ko
nikal padta hai raat ko
aur phir kehta hai ki neend nahi aa rahi hai
DAYA-ab batao ki tumne khoon kiya ya nahi.....
rajeev-fredricks ki ini pakau shayari sunkar mujhe ab sach batana hi
padega.....lekin khoon maine nahi kiya...
ACP-vavavav...khoon tumne nahi kiya,khoon siddhharth ne nahi kiya,khoon
mohit ne nahi kiya toh phir khoon kiya kisne..kya maine khoon kiya???
DAYA-sir aap itni jaldi apna gunah maan gaye.....
ACP-shut up daya.....yeh mazaak ka wakt nahi hai.....
aaj tak vaalo ne humari baja rakhi hai.....humari naakaamyabi ka dhindhora peet
rakha hai unhone....DAYA tum aajtak vaalo ke office ka darwaza tod do......
Rajeev-abe ab meri bhi sunlo....main kuch bata raha tha...mere hisaab se karan
aur arjun ne khoon kiya hai...kyunki vo dono bhi auditions dene aaye the....lekin
vo dono select ho gaye aur vo ladka nahi hua.....toh vo dono bahut chide hue
the us ladkay se.....
ACP-aisa kyun?????vo dono to select ho gaye the na...
Rajeev-abe oongli vaale baba....raat ko agar tujhe koi baccha dekhle toh vo bhi
na roye....itna khatarnaak hai tu....
aur NAAK sunte hi vahan par HIMESH RESHAMIYA aagaye...
himesh-ooooooooohhhhhhh huzoooooooooooorrr ter tera tera
suuuuuroooooooooooorrrrrrrr(taking his hands in wierdo positions)......
ACP-tumse baad mein baat karenge.....pehle rajeev se baat karne do....
himesh-koi problem nahi hai....but JAI MATA DI LETS ROCK!!!nd remember ki
mujhe ghar mein roti chahiye chawaal nahi.....
then himseh goes out of the room
ACP-ab batao raajeev tum kya keh rahe the karan aur arjun ke baare mein.....
rajeev-haa batata hu....vo dono isliye udaas the kyunki oh hamare show par
select hone ke baad AFRICA jaane vaale the.....aur vaha par hum un ki phaad
dete.....aur us ladke ki nahi phat ti...isliye vo usse chid rahe the......
ACP-lekin unhe jab pata hi tha ki AFRICA mein unki lagne vaali hai toh vo dono
auditions dene hi kyun aaye.....
RAJEEv-sir yehi to baat hai............mujhe lagta hai ki zaroor koi puraani
dushmani thi un dono ki us ladke se....unhone socha ki voh audition dene toh
aayega hi...vahi par uska kaam tamaam kar denge...aur CID ko case se
bhatkaane ke liya raghu,rajeev,mohit sidhhart aur pata nahi kis kis ka naam laga
denge.....
tabhi us room mein SHIN CHAN aa jaata hai
SHIN CHAN-are ACP uncle aapse aacha kaam toh raajeev uncle ne kar
diya......aap toh busungli hilaate reh gaye...inhone toh khooni ka bhi pata laga
liya....
ACP-lekin mere se acchi koi ungli nahi hila sakta aur wierdo luks nahi de sakta
isliye mein 12 saal se CID mein kaam kar raha hu.....
SHIN CHAN-tab bhi aap ko kuch karna nahi aata......
ACP-chalo SHIN CHAN un karan aur arjun ke paas chalte hai...un se puuch taach
karte hai.....(shaking his fingers)
suddenly himesh reshamiya came in the room nd said karan aur arjun toh 4
ghante pehle hi mar chuke hai....unke ghar mein roti nahi thi....sirf chaawal
the.....isliye kisi ne unka murder kar diya...JAI MATA DI LETS ROCK!!!
ACP-lo ek aur khoon.....lagta hai teeno khuun ek hi bande ne kiye hai....jaroor
koi bohot badi sajeesh hai iske peeche...(shaking his fingers)...devdaas ka pehla
pyaar tha paaro.....daya tum puuri MUMBAi chaan maaro.....pata lagao ki kis kis
ke ghar par roti banti hai aur chaawal nahi..pakka khon kisi aise bande ne kya
hai jo ki roti khaata hai.....
(BAlAJI TELEFILM MUSIC) den only AAJ TAK wale aa jate hain
AAJ TAK ka reporter-chain se sona h to jag jao.......yahin se hamen pta chla h ki
roti or chawal pe bhi ladai ho skti h...ACP ka kehana h ye! APPKO KYA LGTA
H ........AAP APNA ANS BHEJ SKTEIN HAIN 558484 PR.. Daya den goes out 2
search akkhhi MUMBAI.........
he searches home 2 home...........
den he cums across KRK's jhopdi.........
der he sees KRK eatin ROTI nd drinkin gatar ka paani.........
DAYA den breaks d door of KRK's home........
nd catches him nd brings him to ACP who had started playin POOR SHAYARI
COMPETION wid FREDRICKS nd SHIN-CHAN........
DAYA- sir, yehi hai vo jo chaawal nhi roti khaata hai.....
ACP- OH MY GOD!!!!! to tum ho vo jo roti khaata hai......
tumhe to sharam aani chahiye......
(SHAKING HIS FINGERS)
KRK- sir, maine kuch nhi kiya, main to jaanta bhi nhi us ladke ko......
DAYA gives him his TIGER RAPTA........
KRK- vo ladka BIGG BOSS ka viewer tha......
(hehe, after daya ka TIGER RAPTA, goonge bhi bolne lagte hain........)
(BALAJI TELEFILMS MUSIC) KRK-lekin aage kuch yaad nahi aa raha.....
DAYA gives one more TIGER REHEPTA.....
KRK-aagaya.......mujhe yaad aagaya...
DAYA KA TIGER REHEPTA KHAANE KE BAAD TO sab ko sab kuch yaad aajaata
hai.....chahe vo crime scene par ho bhi na....hehe
KRK-vo ladka BIG BoSS ka viewer tha.....usne mere liye vote nahi daala isliye
maine use maar diya.....usse mere france ki chaai aur england ke paani ka bhi
sach pata lag gaya tha.....use pata lag gaya tha ki gatar ka paani aur DHABo par
logo ki jhooti chaai pita hu....isliye maine use maar diya....maine socha ki use
maarne ka sacbse acchi jagah ROADIES ka audtion hogi....vaha par itne saare
log honge...kisi ki shak bhi nahi hoga mere par....aur phir maine socha ki mein
CID ki thodi madat karne ki bhi sochi jisse mein tumhaari nazro meinaccha an
jau......aur maine rajeev par bbhi ilzaam laga dia....lekin DAYA ne mujhe gali
mein padi kutte vaali roti khaaate dekh liya......aur phir usne mere ghar ka
darwaaza tod diya.....jabki mere ghar mein toh darwaaza hi nahi hai.....maine
socha tha ki mein CID ko bewakuf bana dunga but tum log toh FBI se bhi acche
ho......
ACP-plan bohot accha tha...lekin afsos CID beech mein aagayi.....ab jail mein
banana plan....tume toh faasi hogi faasi.....
SHIN CHAN-haa uncle aap ko toh KHAASI hogi KHAASi...

NOW its time for moral of the story-CID IS BETTER THAN FBI.....case chahye ho
kitna bhi khatin CId kar hi deti hai solve.....so CID se panga nahi lene ka kya.....