OUR LOVE WILL NEVER DIE

OUR LOVE WILL NEVER DIE

DRAMA BY ALEX GILBEY

PRODUCTION
SCRIPT
October 2015

OUR LOVE WILL NEVER DIE

Cast
NARRATOR: voice of Louise Danni Sanger
MATHEW: Ruairidh Johnston
LOUISE: Danni Sanger

OUR LOVE WILL NEVER DIE

SCENE ONE: EXT. Church. Morning

(Narrator, Louise)
Sound
church), bells

rain, feet walking (people entering

Narrator:
Today was tough, something that I thought wouldnt
have to do for a long time. It feels like part of me is
missing and that part I wont get back.
Music

soft piano

Narrator:
Im going to take you back to where
February 2011. That was when it all started. It
Tuesday, I had just got back from work so I was
with my son Jake clearing up from finishing his
school.
Sound

it all began.
was a normal
in the kitchen
painting from

rain stops, front door closes

Mathew: (overly cheery) Hello!

Louise: that tone sounds good, how did it go?
Mathew: Jake, why dont you go and put all of these paintings
on your bedroom wall? Look, heres some blutack.
Sound

childs feet running on wooden floor

Louise: So?
Mathew: Im gonna make some tea, dyou want one?
Louise: No, just tell me how it went!
Mathew: (sighs) okay, lets sit down
Louise: Youre worrying me now Matt, what happened?
Mathew: Right well its not good news. But! Its not awful
news!
Louise: Right.?
Mathew: I hate the doctors, they had me waiting ages when my
appointment was at 10:40!
Louise: (sniffling starting to cry) Mathew, please. Stop. Just
tell me how it went, youve got me thinking the worst
Mathew: I have cancer, lung cancer.
(Louise starts to sob)
Mathew: No, its not all bad! Theres a 25% chance I will be
able to fight it

OUR LOVE WILL NEVER DIE

Louise: Only 25%?!

Mathew: Thats considered high in the medical world. Look it
will be fine, I promise.
Sounds

soft piano music from the start

Narrator: Thats the only lie he ever told me. The moment he
told me everything was going to be okay, I knew it wouldnt
be.
MUSIC STOPS
Mathew: Louise, listen to me.
Louise: (sniffles) So? What? How does it go from here then?
Mathew: (sighs) Right! Ive got six weeks of intensive
chemotherapy, which should shrink the tumor considerably. Then
two months of radiotherapy and that should fix it! See I told
you there was nothing to worry about.
Sounds
and out

soft piano music from the start fade in

Narrator: When I look back now to that first round of

treatment I have to laugh, I thought we had landed in the
depths of hell and there was no way out. Everybody was so kind
asking after Matt, and he was ill, really really ill. I know
this sounds selfish but there were times when I just wanted to
scream, shout, cry and quite frankly collapse. But I couldnt,
I had to be the strong one, but nobody ever asked how I was,
offered to give me a night off from mopping up sweat and
cleaning up vomit. I had to make sure Matt slept but I didnt
sleep throughout it all and was still expected to have
patience and a smile for Jake. I wasnt allowed to be down,
after all, I didnt have the dreaded C word did I so what did
I have to complain about? If I had known then that I hadnt
even taken the first step on this road to hell I genuinely
dont think I would have stayed as long as I have, but when
the oncologist told us that Malcolm was in remission it was
better than winning the lottery, finally we could get back to
normal, but there is no normal any more, only before and after
and I cant do after anymore. Matt isnt Matt anymore, its as
if his soul has been ripped out and crushed, he can see it in
my eyes but were both too afraid to admit it.
Sounds

fade, no sound for 3 seconds

Narrator: it was in the third week of the first round of chemo

that I knew there never would be a normal again. In fact, in
three weeks my Matt, my strong, protective, handsome Matt was

OUR LOVE WILL NEVER DIE

reduced to a baby, totally dependant on me, puking over a

bucket and smelling like he hadnt washed in weeks!
INT. Bedroom, Morning
Matt: Dont leave me
Louise: of course I wont leave you darling, Im right here
beside you. Im not going anywhere.
Matt: No, you dont understand, dont leave me, I need you.
2 second silence
Narrator: Did he know then how pathetic I was, did he know
then that when it really came to the crunch that I didnt have
it in me? Ill never know for sure but deep down I think I
know. People can judge all they want but until you have walked
a mile in my shoes you cant tell me what you would do because
you dont know. It takes a strong person to be able to watch
the man you love, your soul mate die before your eyes and
there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. The thing
about Cancer, in fact any serious illness, everyones focus
and attention is on the sufferer, and thats completely
understandable, but it is not just them that is the sufferer,
its the whole family. My poor darling Jake, hes not stupid,
but there everyone was tiptoeing around him, jollying him
along like everything was normal, trying to shield him from
the horrifying truth. But that just made it worse for him, I
should have sat him down, I should have told him, prepared him
in some sort of way but I didnt and the end result is he is
riddled with guilt, convinced he wasnt good enough, wasnt
quiet enough and because of this his daddy got taken away, his
daddy went and someone else came to take his place, someone
who said he was his daddy but wasnt. This new someone, looked
like the father Jake new but he didnt play, he didnt laugh
and when Jake asked for cuddle he felt all sharp and pointy it
hurt to cuddle this new man and it scared him. Poor Jake had
to believe us that everything was okay; we are the grownups.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing but I didnt even think about
getting professional help for Jake, it was his teacher who
suggested it to me and got me in touch with the child
psychologist, and it was her who filled me in on all of this
only further adding to my guilt & highlighting my incompetence
in general. If I was in any doubt before how far down the
level of humanity I was, she soon set my sights clear on that
one. My own son & I couldnt even see I was destroying him
with my silence just as sure as the cancer was destroying
Matt. Cancer came into our lives and ripped us all apart,
laughing in our faces and piece by piece, the tiny fragments

OUR LOVE WILL NEVER DIE

that built us up were being pulled out from under us, and all
the while cancer through back its ugly head and laughed, a
great big belly laugh, like a New Orleans soul singer.
SILENCE
Narrator: February 2012, 6 months into
treatment. We had been to the doctors
update on how Matt was getting on with
told it had spread further in his body
aggressive tumour.

Matts first lot of

that day to get an
his treatment, we were
making it a more

Int. Kitchen, afternoon

Louise: Im finding this really hard
Matt: I know you are darling, and I am so sorry to put you
through all of this I would never wish this upon my worst
enemy let alone my wife! But I promise everythings fine, it
can only get better from here.
Louise: Matt, stop
Matt: Stop what?
Louise: (starts to raise her voice) Stop lying to me, stop
lying to yourself, you know just as well as I do the news we
got from the doctors isnt okay! You were told your
Matt: Louise, of course I am saying everything is okay, I have
to for the sake of our happiness! And to make sure Jake knows
it will all be fine!
Louise: (shouting and crying) Its not making Jake or me any
happier, I hate this, I hate this so much, your not you! Your
not the man I married and I understand this is so incredibly
tough for you, but but it puts so much strain on me! I
havent slept properly in months! I cant think straight! I
cant eat! I cant even function at the moment! I dont know
how long I can carry on living like this, because its not a
life.
Matt: OF course its not a fucking life! Do you think this is
what I pictured our lives to be? Do you think this is how I
want to live? How I deserve to live? Of course not! Dont play
the victim!
Louise: Victim?! How can I play the victim to something like
this! Not once have you asked me if Im okay in all of this!
Not once have you thought of how this could be affecting me! I
hate myself everyday for the fact I cant make it better, I
can make it the tiniest bit easier for you, but not better!
Having to watch you have sleepless nights for the pain makes

OUR LOVE WILL NEVER DIE

me feel so guilty! I hate feeling so worthless to my husband!

I cant do this anymore!
Matt: Louise? Cant do what anymore?
Louise: Just, this, this whole whatever it is!
(Matt tries to hold her)
Louise: Just dont touch me, get off! I just cant do this
anymore!
Door slams