PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION

RECOVERY: GETTING IN, GETTING

OUT
Its late. Its dark outside; its dark
inside; except for the soft glow of the
computer monitor.
Its quiet. Jeff is deeply engaged with
the computer screen.
Just a little longer, he says to
himself in his mind. Time passes.
Nothing changes.
The silence is broken by what sounds
like a footstep. Startled, Jeff breaks
into a cold sweat; his attention leaves
the computer screen and gazes at the
dark hole of a doorway. With bated
breath, he listens intently. His heart
beats a little faster. His eyes struggle
to adjust to the lack of light having
stared at the only source of light for so
long. He waits, watches, and wonders
if someone is there, if someone will
emerge from the blackness. His finger
is poised over the mouse button,
ready to strike it at any sign of
anothers presence. Straining his
senses, he detects nothing. A cold
silence permeates the darkness. He
begins to calm, his breath and heart
beat returning to the way they were.
Convinced he is alone, his focus
returns to the images on the screen,
and he moves the cursor off the close
window button and continues his
browsing.
Situations such as this were a common
occurrence for Jeff Smith. At age 16, it
would be a few nights a week. As he
would get older, the frequency would
increase.

Smith, a BYU-Idaho
student, had gotten
involved in
pornography
around the age of
14. What he said
started as a mild
curiosity became a
part of him hes
scared of today,
about 10 years
later.
Now, his habits
have changed, after
he and his friend
Kyson Dana, a
former BYU-Idaho
student, attended
an addiction
recovery program
created by the
Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day
Saints together.

LDS Family
Services 12 Step
Addiction
Recovery
Program
The Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day
Saints adopted
Alcoholics
Anonymous 12
step program and
adapted it for
addictions in
general.
The have meetings
specifically for
pornography
addiction. They
have groups for
men and women.
They also have
different support
groups for those
whose family
member of friend

I walked into one

of the meetings, and it was one of the
best things Ive ever done, Smith
said.
Numbers of people enter and exit
these programs and meetings all the
time. Some are in for extended
periods of time, some for brief periods.
People also have their different
reasons for attending. Some go for the
common reason of trying to quit
viewing pornographic media. Some go
to support others. Some go to gain
strength to continue abstaining from
it.
Bruce and Sheryl Koon are both
counselors in the Family Service

Addiction Recovery in the

Rexburg, Idaho area. The
Koons have said they have
also greatly benefited from
their involvement. They
explained how their
perspective of those who
have addictions have
changed.
You see individuals, not
addicts, Sheryl Koon said.
They arent problems,
they have them. We all
do Its really eye opening
to see how little people
know about addiction.

THE PORN INDUSTRY

In 2006, the porn industry grossed
just short of 100 billion dollars
worldwide. Today, that industry
makes more revenue than the
combined total of top technology
companies: Apple, Google, Ebay,
Netflix, Yahoo, Microsoft, and
Amazon. According to Enough.org,
every second, $3, 075 is being spent
on pornography. According to Adult
Video News, an adult video trade
magazine, the total revenue from
rented and sold pornographic videos
and DVDs is over 4 Billion dollars.
The porn industry also creates over
11,000 titles every year, making
over 20 times as many as Hollywood,
according to the same magazine.

Dana, creative director for

Fight the New Drug, said,
Most cases when
addictions set in is because of lack of
knowledge. People may not
understand the addictive nature of
pornography or lack a clear concept of
it.
Discovering Pornography

People get involved in various ways.

Sometimes people intentionally seek it
out, others are introduced to it by
others, and some accidentally come
across it. According to
dailyinfographic.com, 34% of people
say they experienced unwanted
exposure. The most common ways
people have accidently accessed
pornographic material on the Net are
pop-up windows, misrepresented links,
misspelled URLs, and auto links in
emails.

In the Koons experience, they said the

most common reason people begin to
view pornography is curiosity.
That was the case for Smith. Whereas
not all people believe pornography is
wrong, he had been taught that
pornography is something to be
avoided and is detrimental. He said he
cant recall being taught necessarily
why, or even what it was for that
matter.
It was a curiosity thing, he said. He
explained that he doesnt blame the
lack of clarity in what he had been
taught, but he did say that it did play
a part.
At age 14, when home alone, he typed
in pornography into a search engine.
He said his thoughts at the time were
to understand. He also said that part
of it was being a rebellious teen that

Pornography Use on the Net

A recent article at
dailyinfrographic.com reported
that until recently, it was the
top use of the Net, being
passed up by social networking.
With almost 25 million
websites, the porn industry
makes up about 12 percent of
all websites. Over 30 million
people log onto one of these
websites each day. About
28,000 people using the Net
are viewing pornographic
material each second. About
128 million terms put into
search engines contain the
terms sex, adult dating, or
porn. Thats about 25 percent
of all search engine requests.
20 percent of men and 13
couldnt be harmed by images
because they werent tangible.
The first time I wasnt aroused, I just
found it weird, and kind of
interesting, Smith said. He wouldnt
return to pornography for a year.
Through the following year, he said he
began to make connections. The
images he had seen were still in his
mind, and he began to find
satisfaction in them. Eventually, he
said, it would begin overtaking his
sexual interest.
Dana said his first encounter with
pornography was in junior high school
when another student showed him
some images on the school librarys
computer. He said he had avoided it
throughout his adolescence. When he

had moved out of the house at age 18,

his roommates had playboy
magazines and would leave them out.
Eventually he looked too and, like
Smith, would be some time before
looking again.
Not all who view pornographic
material are male. According to
Dailyinfographic.com, the ratio of male
to female visitors to pornographic
websites is 2:1.
According to Fight the New Drug, the
average age that one is first exposed
to pornography on the Net is 11 years
old. 51 percent of male students and
32 percent of female students first
encountered pornography before they
were teenagers.
Discovering Addiction
For Smith, those connections and
interests he had led him back. Dana
said the images stuck in his mind and
despite his determination to resist,
part wanted to see. At age 21, he
got a smart phone. The internet
access he had through his phone
service made it easy to look again.
Smith began to view pornography
more regularly, and by the time he
was 17, it was multiple nights a week.
As the frequency of viewing increased,
the content would become more and
more graphic.
According to Fight the New Drug, 21
percent of male college students view
pornography every day or almost
every day, and an additional 27
percent view pornographic media once
or twice a week. Approximately 70
percent of men ages 18 to 24 will visit

pornographic sites in a typical month.

The largest group that views
pornography via the Net is the age
group 12-17.
Smith said it was during his senior
year of high school that he realized he
was addicted. He was talking with
friends at school about wasting time. It
was then that it started becoming
clear.
I thought, what if I spent as much
time playing guitar as I do porn? After
a few failed attempts to switch, it
became apparent to him. He would be
up for hours at night, it would
consume much of his time, and was
affecting his thoughts. He said it was
at this point he decided to change.
I never talked to anyone about it,
because its taboo, he said.
Smith said that although he didnt
share with anyone, he would have
liked to.
You want someone to find out you
want them to dig into you, Smith
said.
He said it was difficult, but he was
able to exercise some self-control and
cut down on the amount of time spent
viewing pornography.
According to Fight the New Drug, in
2000, as many as 25 million
Americans spent 1 to 10 hours in a
week viewing pornography using the
Net, and as many as 4.7 million spent
over 11 hours per week viewing
pornography by the same means.

Dana said he discovered he had an

addiction when he noticed it was
affecting important aspects of his life.
I didnt want it in my life anymore,
he said. Nonetheless, it would
continue to be in his life. He said that
around the periods of time he would
view pornography, he saw the effects.
The things he enjoyed doing in life
were numb and he would have
issues with his relationships.
I couldnt understand why I couldnt
turn away from it, he said, even
though he said it was a cause of stress
and problems in his life.
Dana said people often dont admit
they have an addiction or do anything
about it. Often it is because people
dont want to admit they are not in
control. He said another reason is
people believe its a teen thing; Ill
grow out of it.
A File in the Mind
The intervals in which Smith would
abstain from pornography would
increase. However, he said it was still
an issue.
Although I wasnt viewing it, it would
still haunt me. It would come to mind
regularly. He said he came to the
realization that youre never at a
point that youre safe, its something
youll always deal with.
Smith said its like a file in the mind,
where everything that was read or
viewed was stored. He said, like
substance addiction, it only takes one
time to return.

This is more dangerous because you

only have to think about it, he said.
He continued to say that as soon as
hed access the file hed be right
back where he started, its only a
daydream away.
Smith met with his bishop to address
his concern before leaving for his
mission. On his mission, he had little
to no access to pornography. He said
he never viewed anything
pornographic and would combat the
thoughts. However, he would at times
access the file. Upon returning home
at age 21, he said he was afraid to
have access again. A month later, he
looked. He wouldnt view it as
frequently as he had in the past, but
the cycle had begun again.
Discovering Addiction Recovery
Eventually, Smith talked with Dana
about it. When both knew, they said
the response was both of relief and
sympathy.
It felt good that someone knew about
my struggle, Smith said, when you
know someone else is dealing with the
same problems you are, theres a lot
of strength in that because you know
youre not alone.
Dana said it took the burden away
knowing he could talk about it. It
became an open topic, which was so
nice.
They set goals and made plans to
overcome their addiction. Smith still
has these plans taped to his bedroom
door today. Ultimately he said they
decided to go to the addiction
recovery program (ARP) meetings.

Fight the New Drug was founded for

educating on the harmful effects of
pornography. This organization gathers
scientific research and stories. Traveling
through the states, they inform the
public through assemblies, concerts, and
videos.
When we first came across the harmful
effects of pornography we were blown
away! We had never heard of any of this
stuff and neither had any of our
friends From there a movement was
born called Fight the New Drug.
They have various resources such as
links to internet filters and books.
They are also currently developing a free
addiction recovery program for
teenagers called Fortify: A Step Towards
Recovery.

It was absolutely terrifying to go to

the ARP meeting the first time, Smith
said.
Sheryl Koon said fear is an almost
universal reaction for first timers. In
one instance, she said they had
someone drive around the meeting for
weeks before coming in.
Bruce Koon said the fear mostly comes
from embarrassment, a feel one has
failed expectations, or giving up
anonymity. Dana said that often there
is a shame attached to having an
addiction. He said they also dont want
to face the social consequences
associated with it or they are afraid
they cant relate.

Once there, Smith said it wasnt what

he expected. He said those there were
some of the best support he received.
There were people there he was
familiar with, from classmates, people
he respected, to general
acquaintances. People from different
backgrounds and walks of life would
come for the same purpose. They
would cheer each other on and help
each other up when they would fall.
The ARP meetings were some of the
best meetings Ive ever attended,
Smith said, The redemption of
addiction was the open support.

He said this scares him because of

what he has seen looking back.
The scariest part was the realization
it was changing who I was. He said
that with the progression of the
explicit nature of the pornography for
higher levels of arousal got him
thinking. He referred to the case of Ted
Bundy, and said although he never
had the thought to actually rape
someone, knowing that it could get to
that point or worse was a frightening
prospect.
Continuing, he said that he recognized
it was impacting his life in other ways.

Dana said, I felt empowered after

going to ARP meetings.

I was despondent to society and

relationships. It mainly affected home.
Sheryl Koon said Everyone there has
There were years of disattachment
good relationships with each other.
and I would spend little time with my
They rally around each other.
family. There are these people that I
care about but I wouldnt develop a
The Koons said that finding the
relationship with them because I had
courage to attend is not the key to
relationship
pornography,
n. Its available
through
internet movie subscriptions this
like Netflix.
It canwith
be found
on home computers and
success
in other
the program.
which wasnt a real relationship
because it didnt love me back.
We see success with it when people

want to change, Bruce Koon said.

The Koons said its eye opening to see
Desire is what makes the difference
the effects pornography has on
if theres no desire, it isnt going to
families. They said the most difficult
make a difference People generally
part of their job is seeing the
want to get out because theres no
devastation of families. Contrary, the
happiness and their lives become
best part of their job they said is the
om internet pornography
unmanageable.
on grounds
They find
of the
freedom
need of speech. results
They said
that parents installing internet filters shou
of progress.
when theyre about at rock bottom.
The most rewarding thing is seeing
light in their eyes again, when they
realize they can overcome it, and
A Look Back
seeing the hope returning to
Having abstained for months now,
Smith said Im scared of different
parts of me. I recognize its still there
in my mind.

Dana said his greatest fear is the

addiction coming back. He said after
six months of not viewing
pornography, its like a breath of
fresh air. He said he hopes through
his experience, he can help others.
During a presentation for Fight the
New Drug, he spoke with a 13 year old
boy. Dana said he thought, What if I
could help this 13 year old kid avoid
all this, avoid all the heartache I went
through?

their loved ones, Sheryl Koon said.

Smith is open about his story whereas

previously that was not the case.
Why arent we open about it? he
said, People knowing isnt going to
make it worse. He continued to say
that we build walls of taboo in our
lives and in our cultures and its not
necessary. Its a sensitive topic, but it
doesnt need to be a taboo topic.