Baa Becca Hamilton CE34I October 14, 2015 Soul Exercise #1 Introduction and Explanation For my first soul exercise I spent four weeks leaning about gratitude. Since the beginning of the school year, I had been noticing an attitude of cynicism and ungratefulness that T wanted to reverse. In past years, I have been very appreciative of my time at Wheaton, especially after coming back from some difficult relationship situations at home over the summer. However, coming back for my senior year I started to grow weary of Wheaton’s culture and its constant Christian take on everything. As I am graduating in December, I did not want to have my last semester be defined by this cynicism and so decided to work on my awareness of Se “t gratitude through these soul exercises. Sere See i ‘The first part of my soul exercise included separating myself from a friend who I had a pattern of complaining with. For the purposes of this paper I will call her Sally. Sally and I always seemed to end up complaining about other friends, homework loads, the amount of practice we had for Concert Choir, and anything else that we had in common. Though it felt good to have someone to share these complaints with, it began to be the only thing we ever talked about, I would find myself thinking of things to complain about just so that I could connect with her on something. This hyper awareness on the negative things in life was not Sa aa cla helping my attitude of cynicism at all. 7 Cue f When the four weeks began, I began my process of slow separation by switching my seat in choir. As subtly at I could, I started to talk with other people around me and move around asmuch as I could, I would still talk with Sally, but I would make a mental point of finding ways to engage with other people as well. When I did talk with Sally, I would be more aware of the subjects I would talk with her about. If things started to shift towards complaining, 1 would try to —— find a way to change the subject or turn the conversation into something positive. Though maybe Ge! oe awkward ot confusing at first, the shift actually came fairly easily after a while. The barrier of awkwardness dwindled away fairly quickly as Sally began to realize that I was, changing how I interacted with her. I never wanted to be unkind or judgmental of her, but I am grateful for this shift in our relationship and am very glad I committed to do this. ‘The second aspect of my soul exercise was to keep a gratitude journal. For the four week duration, 1 attempted to write five things I was thankful for everyday. I started each entry with the date and then the phrase “Today I am thankful for...” and then I would number through five things I was thankful for that day. In the spirit of noticing God’s presence and faithfulness more in my life, I hoped this exercise would an easy way of practicing this act of noticing. However, it proved to be much more difficult than expected. I had a very hard time remembering to write in it everyday, and would get frustrated with myself when I remembered I forgot it. In an effort to help me remember I tried putting my journal in different places to jog my memory. It started out on my desk, though this did not last long as many times I do my homework on the kitchen table instead of my desk, After several days of forgetting to write in my journal I decided to move it next to bed in the hopes that I would remember to write in it as I was going to sleep. This ‘Though I definitely had my eyes opened to the small ways God was faithful, I still felt like it was a burden, Next I tried putting the journal in my backpack, hoping that by secing it with all of my other books and homework I would be able to just jot things down as they came to methroughout the day. This proved to be the most successful out of all the option I tried. Having it with me all the time cut out the hassle of having to remember things at the end of the day when all I wanted was to go to bed. Though the journal proved to be more of hassle than expected, it definitely opened my eyes to the constant working of God in my life. I became more thankful for- 2 Day es the things that I have and more aware of just how privileged I am. ee Aguas HS Fine Ton Spiritual Reflection and Recognizing God's Grace Qin T> UD, SH Cy > To reflect on mj experiences with Sally and with wilting ny Shuibe, joudst Ts sli use” the a’Brakel model of reflection by looking at the experience in relation to Bibs texts that guided me through them and then mentioning more texts that reflect my desired outcome of the experiences. During my experience with Sally, I reflected on the verses Ephesians 4:29, et any unwholesome talk come out of our mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that is may benefit those who listen”(NIV) and Philippians 2:14, “Do everything without complaining or arguing” (NIV). By reading these verses throughout the four weeks, I was constantly guided by ie examples, which encouraged me to continue in my efforts and validated my process. The straightforwardness of the verse from Philippians rei inded me of the frankness of God’s commend on this subject. Paul wanted his teaching to be clear because of the importance of this command. On the other hand, the verse from Ephesians takes time to expand on the concept of complaining by offering alternatives. Paul writes the we should speak “what is helpful for building others up”, instead of tearing each other down. This validated my efforts to turn Sally and I’s conversations into positive ones, which was sometimes slightly awkward to enforce. These verses encouraged me in my efforts and allowed me to have puss — a foundation that pointed me back to why I was doing this as things got difficult, Cy cv /Reflecting more closely, my experience with Sally allowed me to become more aware of other's affect on my attitude, As I separated myself more and more from complaining with Sally, | found myself not wanting to complain as much in all other aspects of my life as well. Instead of immediately dwelling on the negatives of the day, I allowed them to roll off my back. It really _ was exhausting trying to keep up the negativity with Sally, and I am astounded at how much it really was affecting my outlook. Romans 12:2 acts as an example of how I want to continue in this renewed mindset. It says, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will”(NIV). By renewing my mindset of negativity with one of positivity I can better align myself with God’s will. God’s will is so good and pleasing that why would I want to work towards anything else? This exercise has opened my eyes to other's influence and how I need to be resilient in renewing my mind to work alongside God's will. Looking now at my experience with the gratitude journal, I used two verses to guide my experience. The first is 1 Thessalonians 5:8 which says, “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus"(NIV). The second verse is Colossians 3:17 which states, “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him’"(NIV). These verses served as motivation to keep trying as I resisted so much during the four weeks. Knowing that Paul encourages so many people multiple times to be thankful during circumstances that were far worse than mine ever were pushed me to keep noticing God’s faithfulness and be aware of all that He has provided for me, Even in the smallest things, like not having bed bugs while my roommates did or having an UGH!especially good conversation with someone at dinner, made me stop and realize all the blessing God give me on a daily basis. In thinking about how I want the outcome of my gratitude journal experience to look like, am reminded of a verse in Luke when Jesus is talking about not worrying about the necessities in life. In Luke 12:24 Jesus says, “Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn, yet God feeds them, And how much more valuable you are than birds!” (NIV) T want to be constantly aware of how God is working in both the big and small ways. This, ‘gratitude journal opened my eyes to His presence in the tiniest act of faithfulness in my life, which convey just how deep God's love for me really is. As the verse reveals, how much more important am [ than birds to God! Sometimes it might not feel that way, but this verse states as a reminder and testament that God is faithful and I should stand to notice this faithfulness more and more, CED) In the process of looking back at my soul exercise experience, I am so reminded of God's grace throughout the process. Though I struggled during the four weeks to write in my gratitude ——— journal everyday and was sometimes deterred by awkwardness with Sally, God was gracious in my weakness, God granted me grace everyday and knew that I was trying. As I move on from ane this experience, I know I will be offered this continuous grace by a loving God as I continue to try and notice Him in my everyday life. If I did this exercise again, I think I would definitely not es start out with such ambitious goals with the gratitude journal. Maybe instead of saying I would write in it everyday, I would say to think of 10-15 things I am thankful for at the end of the week, Though these exercises were pretty ambitious, I am so happy I did them and I am also happy to say that I have been lifted out of my cynicism, By simply forcing myself to take these C (emde galtwo steps towards gratitude T am reminded of God’s faithfulness and will continue to work on sustaining this awareness.CE 341/BITH 379 Spiritual Theology Soul Exercise 1 Due Wednesday 10/14 @ noon Review carefully the directions given in your syllabus (p. 5) for the paper description. ‘Also review the important information for guidelines for Writing Papers (pp. 6-7). Name ee, (1) How many weeks did you practice your various exercises? Select as hindrances (or helps) and why did you select them? eng) (3) What was the nature of your experien¢é over the four weeks of practice (including bojh progress and resistance)? (2) What items did (4) How dithige use of theological reflection assist your processing of your experience?” What Scripture’ in particular guided your reflection? Naeeh arr ee (5) HoyYou would summarize your insights with particular awareness to God’s graée? ‘might you do differently next time? ey uitoeared thesis statement or key ideas, ability to express yourself clearly, organi ideas, sentence structure, weak transitions between sentences or paragraphs, unclear or weak development of thoughts, etc.). Structure and style (e.g. grammar, alin, np appropriate academic style for wriktrgrattent paper) Go