Ruth Niyonzima

IF YOU REALLY KNEW ME 1

"Liz, get your brother and come in here. There's something you should know about." Liz
did not like the tone in her mother's voice. She sounded as if she's been crying. Liz brought her
brother Jo inside and listened to their mom. Liz was 13 and Jo was 9 being the youngest.
The kid's father's been ill. He had been in the hospital for a week now. Every day they visited
him and instead of looking better, he looked worse every day. Their mom assured them that he
was

going

to

be

home

in

few

days.

"Listen, its your father. The doctors said it was wise for us to be there right now."
Ten minutes later, they walked into his hospital room. He had so many tubes going into his body.
He wasn't speaking. The doctor told them to live the room. Liz could see that her mom was very
scared. They sat in waiting room for what seemed like a long time. What they feared the most
happened. They were told that their father couldn't make it. The next hours were horrible.

Ruth Niyonzima

Three months later, Jo and Liz were home. Their mom had left in the morning for work.
She'd

be

here

"Ding

any

dong,"

minute

went

from

now.

the

bell.

"I'll get it, that's probably mom!" Jo said in Spanish as he went to get it. Liz heard voices at the
door

and

then

Jo

called

to

her.

"Liz! I think you should come down here." Liz came and there stood... not mom, but two cops!
This

was

not

"Isn't

there

going

any

to

adult

be

good

here?"

The

at

all.

cops

asked.

"No, my mom went to work. She should be here any minute from now." Jo said
"is

there

"Uhmm,

any

yeah.

"Sure,

that'll

The

cops

problem?"

Can

we

be

ok,

came,

Liz

come

in?"

looked

at

asked.
They

guess,"
the

asked.

said

kids

Liz.

and

said;

"I know its hard to tell you this, but your mom... uhmm, your mom went to work this morning,
and
"What

she

won't

do

you

be

coming

mean

she

back.
wont

Not
be

today...

coming

and

back?

I'm
She

afraid
has

not

to."

Liz

ever-"
said.

"She was involved in a terrible accident on her way back, and she died on the scene." The cop
said,

almost

"Liz,
"No!

what
It

in

is
can't

he
be

true.

one

talking
It

about?"
just

can't!"

tone.
Jo
Liz

cried.
cried.

The kids had no relatives to live with, just a few friends, but they couldn't take them in. Liz took
care of her brother, until she heard about other kids who move to other places to search for a new
life. Liz couldn't be able to stay in the house anymore. She didn't know how they were going to

Ruth Niyonzima

live. Then a friend of hers called Juan told her that he and his brother Alfred were leaving. She
decided

her

and

Jo

were

going

with

them.

They

left

in

few

weeks.

Coming to the United States was very hard. Liz remembered how everything was
horrible, with every kid travelling. She remembered how Juan realized that his little brother was
missing and tried to look for him. Everybody was tired when they heard say,
''Did

anybody

see

Alfred?"

Nobody had. Liz had last seen him the night before. He was sitting with everybody else under a
tree. Nobody noticed how he or where he went to. When Juan was sure he wasn't somewhere
close there, he decided to walk back and look for Alfred. Both Alfred and Juan were never heard
of

again.

Everybody knew how the whole situation was, and tried very hard to stick together. They
walked almost every day, once or twice they jumped on a train. They did not know how far they
had

to

go,

or

when

they

were

going

to

get

there.

"Here Liz, come on quick!" Liz heard Jo call her, waving to a few lined pipes on the corner of a
building that looked like a dance hall or something. Liz waved the thoughts out of her mind, and
followed

her

young

brother

in

the

pipes.

"You know spots like these are dangerous, right? There might be a snake or something." She told
her brother, but crawled in after him anyways. The pipes where large enough, and they looked a
bit safe, so the two kids decided to give them a try. They sat there for just a while, because they
were

all

so

tired,

they

fell

asleep.

Liz did not know how long she had slept, when she heard a voice. Was she dreaming, or

Ruth Niyonzima

she really it? There it was again, but this time, there were two! Who could that be? She thought
of awaking Jo, but decided not to, incase its just passerbys and she awoke him for nothing. Just
when she was lying back down to sleep, she heard the voices clearly now. The voices came loud
enough for her to hear the words clearly, but couldn't figure out what they said. This is what she's
been afraid of. She didn't speak English, and now, here are people she assumed where using
English.
'What

am

going

to

do?'

She

thought.

She decided Jo should be awoken. She crawled closer to him and shook him slowly, and
whispered slowly in his ear. Finally he was totally awake. By this time, Liz could see that the
two strangers had touches with them. One word crossed Liz's mind. That was the cops! What
was
"Jo,

she
I

think

going
they

have

found

to
us.

do?
think

its

the

cops!"

Poor Jo looked so scared, he started to cry. Liz couldn't stop him, she was so scared
herself. If she was alone, or was in Jo's shoes, she thought, she was going to be crying too. She
comforted him, and then somebody directed the beam of the touch right into her face. The man
who was looking at them said something, but Liz did not understand. She decided to ignore the
man. He did not look angry that he was being ignored, but smiled and waved for them to come
out. They did, and he attempted to ask them more questions, to which they did not answer.
Liz was tired and so was Jo, but right now, they both were more scared than tired. The cops led
them to a police car that was parked like 200ft away. All the kids had to do, was follow, without
knowing where they were being taken to, or why. Jo slid his hand into Liz's. He only usually did
that when he was very scared. They were fed some strange food. The two cops looked really
nice,

and

kept

smiling,

that's

probably

why

the

kids

agreed

to

eat.

Ruth Niyonzima

"Liz, I've never eaten this kind of food before, do you know what it is?" Jo asked
"No,

haven't,

but

it

sure

taste

funny."

Liz

replied

"Then why arent you laughing?" Jo said, and they both cracked up. The cops looked at them
weird.

Even though Jo was

a sad looking

boy, he had a sense of humor.

They then ate quietly throughout. When they were done, they were shown benches to sit on. Liz
was now wide awake, and so was Jo. The cops were filling some forms and making phone calls.
At one point, the kids saw a cop talking on the phone for a longer time. They could not tell what
he was saying, but they were sure he was trying to persuade somebody into agreeing with
something.
"Hey Liz, what do you think will happen to us? Are they going to take us back-"
"Hush Jo, you know they can't take us back. They are probably trying to find a nice family for
us."Just then the cop slammed the phone in anger. The other cops were quiet. Then they started
talking
"I

amongst

sure

hope

we

don't

go

themselves
to

the

family

he

was

again.
yelling

at."

Jo

said.

Right then the phone rang, and the same cop picked it up. He listened and his face lightened up a
little,

then

he

smiled.

The next five minutes flew by quickly. First the cops took a few pictures of the kids,
ushered them outside to the car, asked them if they wanted anything to drink, and driven off.
Off to where, the kids did not know. They drove for what seemed to be a lifetime to Liz. The
streets were very beautiful. Lights lit up the whole place. After another 20 minutes or more, they
came to a big old building. It looked good and live. It was obvious that this wasn't somebody's
house.
Then the cops told the kids to step out of the car, and began walking them towards the building.

Ruth Niyonzima

After they were in the building, they were led into another small office. It was still at night, but
almost morning. They separeted Jo and Liz, which was a very hard thing to do. They had never
been separeted before. They were assured it was only for the night. Liz was not scared, but she
was sure Jo was. Thats mainly the reason she did not want them to part.
"Jo listen, its just for tonight ok. You can't sleep in the ladies room-" Liz started to say,
but

Jo

"Yes

cut

can.

her

did

back

home!"

short.
He

sobbed.

"But it was different. Back home, I was the only girl in there. And I'm your sister."
"So?

Its

still

the

same.

You

are

my

sister."

"No Jo, Its different. I'm you sister, but there are many other girls here. I know you wouldn't
want

to

sleep

in

room

full

of

girls;

giggling

and

whispering."

He thought for a while and said, "Are you not going to be lonely? I and you could whisper too."
"Come on Jo. That can't happen. Its not going to be that bad. You will see."
"But-"
"Would

you

do

me

favor

Jo?"

"Anything."
"Go

to

bed,

to

the

boys'

side.

Do

it

for

me,

can

you?"

He looked at her sadly and nodded his head. They led him away, and Liz went to the other side.
As Liz walked into the girls' part of the building, she thought it looked more like jail, even
though she have never been to jail before. The place had one huge room so many bunk beds.
"The lady who brought her in showed her bed, and showed her where she could shower. Liz was
glad everybody was asleep; nobody would stare at her now. She was very tired. She lay on her
bed for a while thinking of what might be happening with Jo. She did not know how long she lay

Ruth Niyonzima

there awake, because the next thing she knew was hearing loud noises of girls rushing around,
talking loud and laughing. For a moment she wondered where she was. Jo was nowhere in sight.
Then she remembered. So why was everybody talking so loud now? She sat up in bed and
looked all around her. She was on the top bunk, so she had a view of everything so well. Then
she saw someone starring at her. She sat there thinking of what to do next, suddenly everybody
was now looking at her. Not in a friendly manner, she thought. The kid that was starring at her
first was a little girl about the age of 10, and her bed was right next to Liz's. At least she looked a
bit friendly. Right now, she wasn't worried about whoever was starring at her or not. All she
wanted was to get up and go see her brother. She jumped off her bed, and walked to the
bathroom.

She

heard

giggles

behind

her.

If this was how things were going to be, she was sure to survive through it all. As long as
she was with her little brother. She walked into the bathroom, found an empty shower room, and
went in. in about 15 minutes later; she walked back into the room by the bed. She was worrying
about what to wear next, when one lady walked in. She was tall, with dark hair. Her name tag
read, "Jillian." as she walked in, everybody was quiet. In her hand, she had a black plastic bag.
She walked over to Liz and handed it to her. She spoke to everybody for a while, and then left
the room. Liz opened her bag and in it she found a two dresses, a pair of pants, two t-shirts, a
pair of sneakers, a pair of sox, a bar soap, tooth brush, tooth paste, body lotion, and a few more
stuff. She got dressed quietly, made her bed and was sure everybody was starring at her all this
while. She was planning to walk out the way she had come in last night, and go ask for her
brother.
"Hey,

I'm

Maggie."

She heard someone speak in Spanish. So many thoughts ran through her mind. Did she really

Ruth Niyonzima

hear that? Was someone speaking her language? Was someone being friendly? When looked to
the direction of the voice and saw that the voice came from the kid next to her bed.
"Hi,

you

speak

"Yes,"

Maggie

Spanish?"

replied.

Liz

Liz
was

asked.
glad.

"I'm Liz. Are you-" everybody was looking at them and talking. She looked at Maggie, who
shrugged

her

shoulders

and

continued

talking.

"It's almost time for breakfast. We have our meals in the hall downstairs." Maggie said.
"Oh good, are the boys going to be there too? I need to see my little brother."
"Yeah,

everybody

"I'm
"I'm

meets

thirteen,
10,

I'll

there,

how

how
be

11

in

old

are

you

old

are

two

months,"

Liz?"

Maggie

asked.

you?"
said

Maggie.

Later they walked downstairs together. Even though Maggie was about 3 years younger
than her, Liz did not mind. Maggie looked and sounded awfully smart. They spoke of everything.
Even though Liz looked as if she did not care whether the other kids liked her or not, Maggie
was not comfortable. She kept looked frightened, and she kept trying to draw back. When the
other girls were looking, Maggie tried not to show that she was hanging around Liz. It wasn't
easy to notice. Liz realized and decided to let Maggie have her way. She did not want anything or
anybody to hurt Maggie. Liz spotted her brother, and walked over to him. They had breakfast
together, and spoke a lot. Jo was excited about having time to sit and talk to his sister.
They were left to hang around for the day till lunch time. They played in a nearby park, right
there in the backyard. They did not talk to anybody. One of the caregivers, whose name tag said,
Alice,'' came up to them and with a small red ball, and gave it to Jo. Jo smiled and Alice
returned the smile and walked back. Jo and Liz played the ball for some time, away from other

Ruth Niyonzima

kids. They played until Liz tried to kick the ball to Jo, but it passed between his legs and bounced
along. Jo gave it a chase, but before he could catch it, it reached a bunch of boys who were
pretending to wrestle. Jo tried to go after the ball, but Liz called him back. The boys had stopped
wrestling and were now looking at them. There were about five boys. One picked up the ball and
started bouncing it in the grass. They did not bother to throw it back. Jo looked as though he was
going to cry. That look bothered Liz so much she wanted to go and snatch it away from them.
The boys were bigger than she was, but that did not scare her. She thought of yelling at them, but
they would not understand. Instead, they would laugh at her. She told her brother to ignore them,
and she told him stories that her mom told her when she was still alive. They talked until they
were called back inside. They had lunch, and the evening dragged on. Liz thought she liked the
place, but she had to deal with those boys. They couldn't get away with hurting her brother.
They

went

back

in

for

bath,

later

came

back

in

for

supper.

When she looked at Jo, he looked more scared than ever. She thought something may
have happened to him. As he came closer, she could see that the big boys were behind him. She
was sure something happened. Jo came and sat next to her, but did not look up. She asked him in
Spanish what had happened. He looked at her with a sad, weak smile and told her that nothing
had happened. Liz could see the other guys grinning. She leaned forward and whispered to him,
''If anything happened, just tell me. I will always protect you. What did they do to you?''
He assured her that everything was fine. She was not comfortable. She tried to give those boys
an evil eye, but they did not care. They all ate in silence, when they were done, Jo stood up and
whispered
''

in
I

will

her
be

ok,

ear,
don't

worry,''

then he left. She saw those big boys starring at Jo as he left. Then they too stood up and

Ruth Niyonzima

followed him. She wanted to go after them too, but she would get into trouble.
Maggie

walked

over

to

Liz

and

said,

"Those boys are bullies. They pick on little kids and threaten them not to tell. Dont worry
though;

your

little

brother

will

be

ok."

Liz was really scared. That night she could not sleep. Her eyes were wide open for a long
time.
Liz looked around and noticed that everybody else was asleep. She waved for Maggie to come
over. They talked slowly for a long time. Maggie spoke English really well. She was a nice little
kid, she promised to teach Liz some English words. Liz learned really fast. She could memorize
about seven words a day, and remember their meaning. Every day she saw Jo, he looked much
smaller and scared. She tried to ask him what was going on, but he never told her anything.
Weeks passed, kids were taken by other people to be adopted, but none of the bigger boys were
taken. Liz, Jo and Maggie were not taken either. She was glad Maggie did not go because she
wanted to learn more English words. She kept the secret of learning English to herself. Almost
everybody knew that she could not speak English. Every day she became scared that something
bad was happening to Jo. She was sure something was going on. During free time, Jo did not
want to play, he did not want to talk, and he did not want to do anything. Liz could see that every
time he looked at the boys, he would tremble. She was angry at Jo for not telling her what was
wrong, she was angry at the cops for bringing her where her brother would suffer so much like
that, she was angry at her parents for dying and leaving her and her brother like that. Then she
was angry at herself for not being able to protect her brother as she had promised. She would
teach those boys a lesson. She was now able to hear some of the stuff they said. It was interesting
to hear what everybody said. Two months later, she was sure she could have a conversation with

Ruth Niyonzima

somebody. It was time to teach those boys a lesson. Then she noticed something weird. She
would just wait until it was play time, then she will show them her true colors.
Then she noticed something weird, as she came up for breakfast, everybody was starring at her.
Even the caregivers were looking at her in a strange way. They acted nice around her, nobody
yelled at anybody. She sat down, expecting her brother to come, but he did not. The bigger boys
were already there, but they looked really scared and uncomfortable. She was really scared, and
she couldn't take it anymore everybody looking at her that way, was really scary without her
brother. She stood up and every eye fixed on her, everybody stopped eating. She looked at
Maggie

and

Maggie

seemed

Go
She

''I

said,

is

my

where

is

the
brother?''

my

say,

on.''

broke
''Where

to

she

brother?

Nobody

What

silence,

screamed

in

did

do

you

English.
to

him?''

said

anything.

''So, this is how it's going to be, huh? You do whatever you all did to my brother, and nobody
even

wants

to

talk?

Its

ok,

will

handle

this

myself.''

She matched to those boys, snatched the closest one by the collar, then the rest ran away. She
pulled
''

him
promise

you,

out

of

no

matter

his
what,

chair
I

will

kill

and
you

yelled,
by

myself.''

Everybody was listening. The boy did not dare to fight back. She looked at him straight in the
eye

and

said,

''I hate you, I hate you very much! I will wait for you, I will look for you wherever you go, and
you better tell me right now. Where did you put my brother? What did you do to him?''

Ruth Niyonzima

He did not answer again; she smacked him really hard in the face. She then threw him on the
floor. Somebody from behind her grabbed her as hard as they could, before she could do
anymore
''Let

harm
me

It

go!

was

''Calm

to
Leave

Mr.
down

me

Joel,
Liz,

that

one

fool.

alone
of

please,

right
the

listen

now!''

care
to

givers.
me.''

She kicked and wiggled, but he could not let her go. He held her until she was quiet. Then he
held her hand, and told her what had happened. Her brother had been threatened and bullied for
the past months. That night he thought he could not stand it any longer, and then he ran away.
Now the police were looking for him, and those boys were going away. The police said that they
found some traces of where he might be. He had just been running, not knowing where he was
going. By now, she could not do anything. Screaming was not going to solve the problem. All
she could do was sit there and cry. Mr. Joel told her to follow him. She stood up slowly, took the
first

step...and

fell

''Water,

flat

on

her

back!

Water!''

everybody

ran

in

every

direction.

Liz woke up in a hospital. She did not want to remember anything that happened, but she
could not control it. First her parents, and now her brother. Why did she have to go through all
these? She just lay there, crying. Mr. Joel came in. She did not want to look at his face. Why did
he hold her? Why didnt he just leave her alone to smack the black out of him? She turned her
face

away

from

him.

''Liz, listen to me Liz. I know you hate me so much, but it's worth listening, please.''
''Why didn't you just leave me to hit him? You know he deserved it. Why did you have to pull

Ruth Niyonzima

me
She

away?
yelled

Are
at

you

him.

Mr.

on
Joel

his
bent

side
over

too?''

her

and

said,

'' Listen Liz, you were so angry, I did not want you to do anymore harm to him. It could be really
dangerous.

Let's

talk

about

him

later.''

Liz was relaxed. Mr. Joel was nice and kind. He felt pity for her; she could see it in his eyes.
That evening she was released from the hospital. When she got back at the orphanage, everybody
looked relieved. Mr. Joel took to a room where she found...Jo! Her heart skipped a beat. She ran
towards him, she realized that he looked really small. As she held him in her hands, she felt his
bones poking her. How glad she was to see her brother. She held him for so long. Later after
lunch, they were all taken to that hall, where they usually sing. People came in and took kids.
Maggie sat next to Liz and Jo was sitting on Liz's lap. A huge woman came in with her husband.
They were so neat. Maggie told Liz that the kids, who were being taken away, were being
adopted by the people who took them. When the couple entered, they looked in her, Jo and
Maggies

direction

and

smiled.

Liz

heard

''We'll

the

man

take

Liz

say,
her.''

was

scared.

They could not take her and leave her brother. She was not going to allow it to happen.
Luckily she found out that they meant Maggie. They came towards Maggie and introduced
themselves. They sounded really nice. The woman held her hand and led to the front where her
and her husband had to sign some papers. Maggie looked happy to be leaving the orphanage and
at the same time sad to be leaving Liz behind. She went to pack, and when she was ready to go,
she

ran

towards

Liz

and

gave

her

warm

hug.

Then

she

told

Liz,

''Bye Liz, I hope to see you again. I will come back and see you if you will be still here, but Im

Ruth Niyonzima

sure

someone

nice

is

coming

to

take

you

home.

'' Thank you for being nice to me. You were more than just a best friend to me. You were like an
elder

sister

Liz

held

to

the

little

me.''
kid

and

said,

Thank you Maggie for being really nice. I love you, thank you for teaching me English.''
Jo's
''You

mouth

speak

English?''

dropped
He

asked

open.

her

in

Spanish.

She smiled to him and said, '' I will teach you little brother, you are now with me, you are not
going

anywhere

Megan's

new

alone

parents

came

ever
towards

again.''
them

and

said,

''Why won't we give you our telephone number? You can call Maggie any time you want.''
They gave her their number and led Maggie to their car, then went home. Liz remained sitting
there

with

Jo

on

her

lap.

Finally a couple looking like some movie star came in. When they appeared in the door
way, Liz could not help wishing they could take her and her brother. Their eyes caught hers
starring at them. They smiled and walked towards them. Liz could not hide her smile. The couple
walked

The

towards

''Would

you

man

asked.

like
Liz

to

come

looked

back

them,
with
at

us,
them

please?''
and

answered,

'' Can you also take my brother too? I can't leave him here all by himself. He needs me.''
Then the man smiled and said, ''Of course we'd love to have you both, come here.''
He took Jo and carried him on his shoulders. He was whispering soothing words to him. The
lady took Liz by the hand and off they went. At last she was going...Going home! And best of all,

Ruth Niyonzima

going

home

with

Jo!

In no time, they got home. Their new home was really huge. It was painted white, and
had a class front door. There was a swing in the backyard. There were people all over the place,
someone was barbecuing, and children were running around. She even saw a dog and secretly
wished it was the Josephs. She loved dogs. She saw many kids there, some of them her age
mates, but did not feel too confident about going over to speak to them. There was lots of talking
and laughing, and as time went on, Liz could not wait for everybody to leave, so that she could
go take a nap or something. She was tired. She could see that Jo was really happy. He was
running around with the other kids already. She could not remember the last time she saw Jo this
happy.
Hey,

want

to

play

soccer

with

us?

She looked up to see a group of guys her own age standing before her. On the corner of her eye,
she caught Mr. Joseph looking at her. As if in approval, he gave her thumbs up sign. Sure, she
said to the boys, and followed them. Wow, werent that something, just a few minutes here, and
somebody already asked her to play with them? This sure was a place to be.

....TO GOD BE THE GLORY...