On Line Dating Success For Men The Guide: (By Kezia Noble)

ON LINE DATING
SUCCESS FOR MEN

THE GUIDE
(By Kezia Noble)
Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 1
1.
Introduction
2.
Photos
a) Your main photo
b) Angles and posing
c) Location and settings
d) Common photo mistakes
e) Photo brilliance
f) Activity photos
g) Album photos
3.
Your Profile information
a) What do you like to do for fun?

b) Student case study before and after
4.
Describe yourself
a) Generic attributes that fail to make impact
b) Giving her an insight
c) Past,present and future
d) Student case study before and after
5.
Your job
a) Impress her the RIGHT way
b) Student case study before and after
6.
Describe your ideal women

a) 3 common mistakes
7.
8.
Your message
a) First contact
b) Common initial message mistakes
c) What your first message should contain
When she responds
a) How long it took her

b The length of her response.
9. Your aim
a) common mistakes
b) pre-planning
c) sealing the deal
d) To pursue or not to pursue?
10. Good to go!
CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION
Online dating is growing fast! There is not a single doubt in my mind about this
proclamation. And its all thanks to the online social network revolution which began
around 2004. To name but a few of these sites:
Myspace,
Bebo,
Twitter
Asmallworld
Badoo
Ninged
Orkut
meetup
friendster
and of course the TITAN of all social networking sites FACEBOOK.
It is thanks to these social networking sites ,that people have now discovered an easy
and far less time consuming way of keeping in touch with friends, family and
acquaintances . But a more important point to acknowledge, is that it also has made
the task of actually meeting new people far more easier than ever before.
The 2 biggest reasons why people use these social network sites are for business and
of course for dating opportunities.
It is now considered normal to say to someone you have just met: Ill Facebook
you or Add me on Facebook in order to keep an interaction or a relationship
going.
Imagine saying that 4 years ago? If someone had said that back then, most people
would have thought it was strange or that it was another way to say:
Thanks but no thanks But now it is considered to be the next best thing to
getting someones personal phone number.
It is (again) thanks to these sites , that online dating has become far more mainstream
and acceptable. I personally know over 15 people who met their partner online, and
these people are by no means considered to be unpopular or geeky or strange or
desperate, or whatever descriptions people once used to describe other people who
were signed up to online dating websites.
Online dating was once considered to be something that only desperate loners in their
mid 40s (who were usually men) would use as a last solution to end their days and
especially their nights of loneliness. It was looked down upon by the majority of men
and women (whether they had an active dating life or not) and was considered to be
almost sinister by most young women.
WOW! How things have changed!
Here are some interesting statistics:

For the first time ever in 2010, three major online dating websites had
exactly the same amount of female applicants as men.
Online Dating Magazine estimates that there are more than 120,000
marriages a year that occur as a result of online dating.
31% of adults in America say they know someone who has used an
online dating service.
Online Dating Magazine estimates that more than 20 million people
visit at least one online dating service a month.
In 2009 17 % of married couples met online
1 in 5 singles have dated online
1 in 5 singles in serious relationships met their partners online
These statistics would silence even the most zealous online dating
skeptics.
When I started training men in the art of seduction, back in 2006, a lot of my students
would confess that they had tried online dating, NOTE the word confess, It was as if
they were revealing to me a dirty little secret that they were ashamed of, but now,
nearly all my students tell me unapologetically and openly within the first 10 minutes
of our meeting that they are on one or numerous well known online dating websites.
Even my female friends have zero problem in telling people that they have tried or are
actively trying to find someone via an online dating website.
It was inevitable that after spending so much time with my students, helping them get
maximum results from their online profiles and messaging techniques that I would
find a formula and a set of structures that could be passed on to others.
After helping over 300 men of all ages and from all backgrounds in transforming their
online dating profile and increasing their success rate with the women they met as a
result from altering their profile pages,and of course knowing how and when to
message and respond to the messages of the women on the sites, I came to the
following conclusions:
i) There are actual ways to insure you get more enquiries from women just by
making some well needed adjustments to your online profile and photos.
ii)There are ways to increase your chances of turning those messages to phone calls
and from there into solid dates.
iii) Anyone can maximise their online dating profile WITHOUT LIEING, no matter
what they look like, how old they are or what they do for a living.
So sit back, and absorb all the information you will need that is contained inside this
e-book. Apply it and see for yourself your current level of success in online dating
increase to a whole new level!
CHAPTER 2: PHOTOS
2a) YOUR MAIN PHOTO
Yes, its true, women are exactly like you in this area, they partly make their decision
based on your photo FIRST, and it really can be in some cases make or break with
this one. Regardless of what amazing message you send them, or what cool hobbies
you have listed on your profile or what an amazing job you do, or how many times
you have travelled to the Amazonian rainforest and been surfing in the pacific ocean!
It can all go to waste if your main profile photo is unattractive.
Now I can already hear a lot of you who are reading this say:
But Kezia, Im not ascetically good looking, so how can my photo ever be
considered attractive?
This is a limiting belief and its based upon the fact that you dont know how to
actually A) Pose for a photograph and B) Pick a profile photo that will maximise your
looks.
As I said, I have helped hundreds of men with their online dating profiles, and its
fair to say , that a number of them were, what is considered to be physically
unattractive, and were not photogenic at all. I would spend time looking through all
their photos that they hd of themselves stored away on their laptops, and every single
time, I would find at least one photo if not more of them looking a lot better than the
one they had chosen.
Some of them, only possessed a few adequate photos, but those photos were in my
opinion not good enough to use on their online profile, which meant they needed to
have some more taken.
If this is your case, then here are some very important tips that you need In order to
take the perfect photo:
2b) ANGLES AND POSING
Angles! Believe it or not, I am not naturally photogenic, however, since I entered
the media , I learned how to pose and what angles I needed to adjust myself into
in order to look literally 10 times better!
i) Never pose with your face looking directly at the camera ( unless you have
a very large nose- go to point iv). This does not mean you should not be
looking at the camera, but what it does means is that you need to move your
head to a certain angle, whilst your eyes remain looking at he camera. I used
to always look face on at the camera, and as a result, when I saw the photos,
I would cringe. My nose would look far bigger than it actually was, and
you would not be able to see my cheekbones, therefore my face totally
lacked definition. In other words, even though Im considered fairly
attractive, my photos in the past failed to highlight my attractiveness. So, I
started learning how to pose properly! By analysing photographs taken by
professionals of people who had the same facial structure as myself and
asking advice from professional photographers. This also included learning
how to position my body to make myself seem slimmer. A lot of people
make fun of me because of the way I pose so professionally for holiday
snaps, but the fact still remains that when we look back at those pictures, I
usually look far better and as result I have more photos to choose from when
I need to upload some to one of my social network sites, rather than relying
on one that is just about considered to be decent.
ii) If your are on the larger side, then stick to wearing darker colours, and choose a
head and shoulders photo rather than a full body one. If you do go ahead and decide
to choose a full length photo, then always have your body positioned in a 45 degree
angle. Whatever you do, do not positioning your body directly face on! Even the
slimmest person can go up two whole dress sizes when they do this.
iii) If you have bad skin, or have too many noticeable wrinkles, try having photos
that either have a very strong flash which helps cover the blemishes, OR go for the
opposite, no flash at all, but instead opt for a softly lit setting, preferably candles, as
this can prove to be extremely flattering.
iv) If you have a large nose, then a great trick, is to tilt your head up slightly as this
makes your nose appear smaller than it actually is. Also, in this case you should aim
to look directly at the camera ( if you nose is really large that is)
v) If you have a double chin or an attractive or weak jaw line, then a tip that a lot of
models and celebrities use is to extend your neck towards the camera, which will help
avoid a double chin and will accentuate your jaw line.
2c) LOCATION, AND SETTINGS

Once you know how to pose, the next step is the setting:
Look at your current photo you have on your profile, and if you dont have one
yet, then look at the photos you have been considering to upload on to your
profile. What do they say about you? Do they express how happy you are, and
that you are busy person? OR, do they convey the illusion that you are someone
who spends too much time in front of their computer? Do they say that youre a
fake? Do they send the message that you are trying too hard?
Ask these exact questions and be completely honest with your self on this one.
Ask your self this: Could I have a better photo than the one I have already?
The answer will probably be YES
2d) COMMON PHOTO MISTAKES
I have of course done extensive research in online dating, in order to make sure
that this e-book would serve to maximise your online dating success rate, and
during this research, I saw some horrendous but very common mistakes that
countless men make when choosing their profile photo.
i) The Loner photo
Many guys have photos of themselves taken from their computer. You can even
see the screen of their laptop glaring in the reflection of their eyes or glasses.
NICE!
This screams LONER!!!! to anyone looking at them. So avoid this
mistake at all costs! ( see photo below)
ii) The Fakers photo

There are a lot of guys who decide to have professional photos of them taken in a
photographic studios and as result, 9 times out of 10, it comes across as tacky and
fake. Even if your are considered to be a really handsome man and could in fact
even do modelling work, a modelling picture raises a girls suspicions in thinking
that you are not real and are in fact a creepy guy who has used an unknown
models photograph without their permission in order to lure girls into a false
belief that they are the actual guy in the picture.
On a personal note, I get a lot of messages from guys on my Facebook with
photos of male models , posing in artistic black and white photos, showing off
their well honed 6 packs, and to be honest, I dont even bother reading the
message accompanied with the photo as I automatically presume the sender of
that message to be a fake. The
message gets deleted before I have
even read it!
Even if she believes it is you in the
photo, it will generally come across
way to big headed and arrogant. If
your that good looking , then you
don't need to have a professional
modelling picture of yourself as your
main photo, however, you can include
one in your online album.
(see photo below)
This is a guy who contacted me whilst
I researched undercover on a well
known dating website, he was
obviously either a fake or a big headand as a result he got NO response!
iii) The invisible man photo
I have seen a lot of guys upload photos of themselves doing really cool things
such as surfing, sky diving abseiling , BUT nearly every time, those photos have
been taken from a long distance, or their faces will be almost completely
obscured. Women become very suspicious when they cant actually see the guys
face in his main profile
photo,.Although the settings
of his photo might be
impressive, the fact we can
not see his face, over shadows
the fact that he is trying to
convey what a fun and active
lifestyle he is leading. Save
these kind of photos for your
online album, which she will
inevitably look at once shes
impressed with your profile
picture, your profile
information and of course the
message you would have sent
her.
(see photo below)
Cool lifestyle, but where is his
face?
2e) PHOTO BRILLIANCE

After you have perfected your pose and providing the lighting is flattering, you
should next try and aim for a main profile photo that has other people in it as well
as your self. This does not mean you should have their faces in the pic, but you
should make sure that it is apparent that you are surrounded by friends and if you
can, preferably include female in this photo.
Make sure that you crop the photo, so that women who see your photo can also
see that there are indeed people around you.
Here are 3 great examples:
In these photos, the men might not be posing as best as they could and the lighting
might not be that great, but what is essential here, is that they look like they are in
demand and that they are having fun.( If they had posed correctly and had some
decent lighting it would have been even better!)
They are showing the world that they are busy men, with active social lives, and
are comfortable around women and other people in general.
The third photo is actually a photo that I advised one of my students to upload to
his profile page, and since then, he has had far better responses from women.
Women are curious to find out where he was when that photo was taken and who
the other people were in the photo ( it was me and my sister)
Most profile photos that men choose do not attract these kind of curious
questions,!
They also provide an excellent way of visually demonstrating high social proof
however, I understand that you might not want to exaggerate the fact that you
have an abundance of women in your life, as you might feel it be somewhat
misleading, so in his case , you can always choose a photo whereby you are
surrounded by men and women or even just your male friends. So long as it
ultimately comes across that you are having a good time and have a social life.
If it is possible try and pick a photo of you appearing sociable and busy rather
than lonely. ( and make sure your face is clear)
Here are some more examples:
2f) ACTIVITY PHOTOS

If you insist on having your main photo of yourself enjoying your favourite hobby
then make sure you have your face clearly on display.
Like this one:
These kind of photos are hard to achieve, so I would suggest avoiding using these
as a main profile photo ,unless they are at the same level of quality as the ones I
have used as an example ( note how you can see the faces pretty clearly)
2g) Album photos.

A lot of dating websites offer the choice of uploading as many photos of your self
as you like.. DONT!
Once you have chosen the important profile photo, you need to make some wise
decisions about what other photos to include in your album, so NEVER get
carried away by uploading all those holiday snaps and endless photos of when you
were growing up or all those photos of the countless Saturdays nights you spent
going to bars when you were a student. Instead, you should pick no more than 7
extra photos.
If you can,make sure you include the following:
i) An activity photo, whereby you are doing something exciting and energising like a
high impact sport. Since this is an album photo and is not your main profile picture. It
does not matter if your face is obscured in any of these photos, so a fairly long
distance one is fine. So long as it is a photo which captures the mood of the moment.
ii) A photo of you and your friends. This can include women as well as men, in fact,
having a photo of you with a mixed group of people is even better. This demonstrates
to the girl, that yo have an active social life. ( You can use up to 3 of these)
iii) A photo of you with an animal. Whether the animal is a pet dog or cat, or
something more exotic like a lion or an elephant . This is something girls usually
warm to, and it conveys a more sensitive side to your personality. Seeing a man with
an animal can be very attractive. I stand by the fact that a man with a puppy dog
generates more attention from women than a man with an Aston Martin ( I have
actually put this theory to the test)
iv) A photo of you on holiday, if you have a photo of you standing next to a famous
or iconic attraction, then use that photo.This is far more interesting than just some
random picture of you on a generic beach somewhere. A holiday picture sends the
message that you enjoy travelling and exploring. Also, If you have ay photos of you in
unusual or exotic locations such as the jungle/the amazon/ safari/ the desert/ the
arctic then PLEASE include them.
All these photos can make an interesting conversational hook. Often women will look
through a guys photo album, and find nothing that will provoke them into asking him
a question. Think about it, what can you really ask a guy who has just photos of him
and his mates in a bar, or just photos of him on his own, smiling? It says ZERO about
who you are, and provides ZERO conversation hooks.
The suggestions I have made above, will provide her with plenty of things to ask you
about, and will increase your level of attractiveness.
CHAPTER 3: YOUR PROFILE

INFORMATION
Once she has seen your main photo, and hopefully has had a look at your other
cool photos,(and of course the message you have sent her- which will be covered
later in the book) She will then turn her attention to what you have written on your
profile page.
There are many online dating sites and therefore the questions that they provide
for you to fill in, vary slightly from site to site, and so I will focus mainly on the
most common set of questions that they ask for you to provide, as well as some of
the more unique questions that they sometimes ask.
In each question I will show you the best ways to answer, in order to help you
achieve maximum results. I will also break down the reasons for why women
react well to certain answers and less so to others. This will be done in order for
you to know exactly how you can answer the questions in ways that are
congruent with your own unique personality. Essentially, these will act as
structures to your answers, rather than a copy and paste solution.
3a) WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO FOR FUN?

Note: Some dating websites may instead ask:
-Share a few of your favourite things.
or
-What makes you happy?
When answering these kind of questions, a lot of men make the mistake of either
being too vague and generic or they make the polar opposite mistake of going too
far to the other extreme, which results in coming off too intense.
For example: Being too generic and vague with the description of what you
like to do for fun would be:
I am an active person, who enjoys swimming, and keeping fit.I also really like
reading and I enjoy travelling
This kind of answer could have been copied and pasted by thousands of men. It
tells women ZERO about who you are and what your passions are. All it suggest
is that whoever wrote this, has made no effort in coming across as anything other
than forgettable.
This kind of answer will not make her want to ask you any questions about your
idea of fun or what you like to do, and although she too might enjoy travelling and
keeping fit, or whatever other activities you have decided to add to your list, it is
not enough for her to feel intrigued about you or connected to you.
Intrigue and connection are the fundamental factors what you need to conjure
up when writing about your activities and what you like to do for fun.
Now of course, being able to get her intrigued and feel a connection to you at the
same time can be tricky, as intrigue and connection can actually result in
contradicting with one another.
The trick is to add activities that people like to do (CONNECTION) and add
REASONS and STORIES that explain why you like these activities and how they
make you feel (INTRIGUE)
Start by writing out a draft list of what you really love doing, and then make
sure that,you put something that involves all of the following three:
i) A physical activity ( i.e: a sport)
ii) Mental stimulation, (add a pass time that stimulates your mind such as
reading, art, writing or it could be a hobby or pass time that is even
considered a bit geeky by some people)
iii) Something that involves other people. (clubbing, travelling, socialising,
group activities,events,concerts)
Once you have your list, I want you to write down, exactly why you enjoy each
activity so much. Explore the reasons for why those hobbies and pastimes provide
you so much joy and fulfilment. Note- DO NOT RUSH THIS, IT MIGHT TAKE
A FEW DAYS TO COMPLETE.
These are the factors that women really want to know!
Women like to know the cause and the emotions that lie behind the actual interest
or hobby , far more then the actual interest or hobby itself.
Lets take for example, that one of your hobbies is playing cricket. If you just
simply write down the words playing cricket this will produce no emotions or
intrigue, in fact, it will probably barley register in her brain, and as a result, you
have wasted a perfect opportunity to connect with her or get her intrigued in
anyway shape or form.
Have a look back at your list, and see the reasons you have written down for why
you enjoy this particular pass time.
Enjoying cricket or football or basket ball or any other such sports usually equates
with competitiveness. So why not mention it?
Example:
Because of my competitive nature, I love to play a game of cricket
This is already a far better start than just simply naming in a list format what
you like to do. The second part, is to add some detail to the experience that you
get when playing cricket, or which ever activity you have chosen to share.
Example:
Because of my competitive nature, I love to play a game of Cricket with my
friends, sometimes it gets serious, but we always end up sharing a round of
drinks in the end
This example paints a vivid picture in her head of you really enjoying the moment
that your activity provides. She gets a clearer idea of why you enjoy this activity
and how it means more to you than just someone else who would have included
the EXACT same sport without the description and story to support and explain it,
which would have resulted in just another generic hobby.
Here are some more examples that can inspire you to come up with your own
ideas:
I have a passion for wind surfing, its something that I have done since I was
a teenager, and the rush just gets better and better
I really enjoy running, especially on cold winter mornings, as this is when I
feel Im really pushing myself, and theres always been something special to me
about winter mornings that I love
I love swimming, it also s a great excuse for me to have some well earned junk
food at the diner next door to the pool- I literally inhale a burger after a good
swim
I enjoy playing golf, I always seem to be the youngest guy at the golf course,
but the old guys there always have a great story to tell, so I dont mind hanging
out with them actually
One of my passions is basket ball, I enjoy the buzz the game gives me, and its
always cool catching up with my friends this way
Martial arts has to be one of my favourite things. The first few months are a
real test of willpower, but after that, it becomes easier and more fulfilling
Now lets look at the next activity you are going to mention: A pastime that gives
you mental stimulation.
This could be anything from : Reading, writing, painting, learning a new
language, solving puzzles, watching documentaries, working on a business
venture or even just meeting and learning from new people that you meet.
For instance, if you choose reading which is a fairly common pastime that men
and women often list in what they like to do for fun, then, as before, look at the
draft list that you wrote of what you like to read and why you like it, and include
that in your description .
Most people enjoy reading to either switch off or to be inspired, which one is
your reason?, and why does reading the books that you choose provide you with
this sensation?.
EXAMPLE:
I enjoy reading horror books, it sounds strange, but they really help me to
unwind
or
I love reading autobiographies, as I can feel really inspired by great peoples
stories
Again, this paints a clearer picture of who you are, and as a result she will be able
to connect to your reasons for liking something, and how it makes you feel and
what mood it puts you in, rather than just stating the pastime its self.
Here are some other examples you can use:

I really love to paint. I put on a well chosen playlist on my iPod, and before I
know it, the whole afternoon has been and gone- beautiful!
Writing is a passion of mine. I used to be bad at literature at school, so its

kinda cool that I now find my self really enjoying it, and rather good at too ( so
I have been told)
I love watching movies, especially Tarantino movies. It sounds like a cliche,
but they really are a major adrenaline rush- my favourite has got to be kill bill
2- definitely an underrated maser piece!
This might sound geeky as hell! But I love old retro computer games. Theres
something much cooler about playing those old 80s and 90s video games than
the new stuff out there- they might be basic and even archaic, but they hit the
spot on- especially on a Monday evening after the first day of work
NOTE: always be unashamedly proud of anything that might be regarded as
geeky- such as the example of the retro computer games
Now lets look at the next activity that you are going to list, something that
involves other people. This could be clubbing, travelling socialising, being part of
a group, or an activity that involves group of people. This is crucial! So often men
include activities that can be done solo, which might unfortunately result in them
coming across as a bit of a loner. The one thing that will make women not respond
your messages is if your profile information ( and photos) paints the picture of
you having no friends.So this activity is very important.
Again, make sure you add the reasons for why you like this particular activity, and
how it makes you feel.
EXAMPLE:
I love nightclubs, its a great way for me to unwind with my friends after a
long week. I think Im the responsible one, since I seem to always be the one
shoving them in taxis at the end of the night
I love travelling, so far China has to be the most interesting place I got to
explore, especially the cuisine there,hmmm very interesting..Next stop is
mexico , i cant wait!
Again, this paints a clearer picture of who you are and as a result she will be able
to connect to your reasons for liking something, and how it makes you feel and
what mood it puts you in, rather than just stating the pastime its self.
Here are some more examples of this particular category of activities that
you can use to inspire you;
I love going to bars in Shoreditch ( insert an area of your choice) I love the
vibe in that area of London, its far less pretentious than the scene in Chelsea
( again insert an area of your choice)
I enjoy spending my weekends with my friends,after a wild night out, its
always followed by a well deserved sunday brunch- eggs Royale of coursehealthy breakfasts are off the menu on Sundays
I consider my self a fully fledged movie critic- so I love going to the cinema
with a few friends, followed up by a late night meal where we get to share our
often contrasting views on the movie
Travelling is an addiction for me, meeting new people from different cultures
is something I value a lot. The memories from all the holidays I have been on
over the years are precious and the photos don't do the memories justice
Travelling for me is essential. I go with a group of friends at least once a year
to south east asia, where the weather is perfect and the vibe is electric
I LOVE karaoke- now don't laugh! This is a guilty pleasure of mine, and my
friends love my awful rendition of Billy Jean
(Note: Again, be unashamedly proud of anything that might be considered a bit
geeky.)
These examples all use emotional anchors, such as
Precious,
electric,
laugh,
wild,
love.
Which make more of an impact and add more movement/energy to your
descriptions rather than:
I like or nice
They also convey the message that you are:
POPULAR
BUSY
SOCIABLE
EXCITING
without actually having to say Im popular or I have a busy social life which
will just come across as you needing to prove something to people.
3b) STUDENT CASE STUDY BEFORE AND AFTER

So here is an example of one of the sections on my students profiles before I
helped him , and after, which he has kindly given me permission to share:
Before:
Age 32
Interests and activities
I like travelling, meeting new people and I jog regularly. Keeping fit is very
important to me. I enjoy watching romantic comedies, which is unusual for
most guys, but I really think they are funny and easy to watch.
I am interested in classic cars, especially vintage American Mustangs.
After:
Travelling is one of my greatest passions. I got the travel bug in my late teens,
and havent been able to get rid of this slightly expensive hobby. Out of all the
places I have been to, I would say, Japan has to be my favourite. Seeing the
futuristic blended perfectly with tradition was truly an eye opener- and the
people I met there are still my friends to this day. The next destination I want to
tick off on my list is Peru.
Although I wouldn't consider my self a health freak, I do choose to keep fit,and
after discovering I was useless at swimming and extreme sports, I settled for
jogging- which I surprisingly find myself enjoying more and more- I cant
imagine starting my day without that daily run.
A great way for me to unwind is..wait for it! Romantic comedies! You either
love them or hate them, and I am firmly in the love them category. Its nice to
know, that without a shred of uncertainty that any tragedy in those simple plots
will always end up with Colin Firth getting everything he wanted and more.
However, they need to change the standard boy band soundtrack from time to
time.
And last but by no means least, I have a passion for classic american cars,
especially the vintage American mustangs. I have a goal of one day owning a
sky blue mustang, and doing the whole american road trip in it one day ,
preferably with someone to join me , and as a rule, we would both have to adopt
the local accent as we travel from state to state.
As you can see ,the first one was boring, lacked energy, failed to provoke emotion
and as a result came across as yet another generic, copy and pasted list of
activities.
In the second one , we made it more dynamic and as a result it has more
movement, energy and gives the feeling of being taken on a roller-coaster of
emotions and stories.
We added more emotional words that draw the reader on a more emotional
level.
.We added little stories that painted vivid pictures to make it easier for the
reader to visualise.
.We added past ,present and future elements- which is a topic we will discuss
later on in the next section.
.We added examples and stories that make him come across as sociable and
popular and busy.
.We added stories that creates intrigue as well as connection.
Since he changed this section of his dating profile, he has received an incredible
amount of responses, (in fact, he changed this part of his profile before he
changed his main photo)
Before, he was getting ZERO responses from women- and hopefully now you can
see why.
Regardless of how exciting your activities are, whether its swimming with sharks,
flying planes, car racing, travelling around the world- it will generate ZERO
excitement, intrigue or connection if you fail to add all or most the tips I have
shared with you in this section.
CHAPTER 4: DESCRIBE
YOURSELF
Unlike the previous question that we have addressed, this question is far more
personal. How you describe yourself is a question that all the major dating
websites ask. They might re-word the question, but essentially describing as best
you can who you consider your self to be as a person and what you consider your
character to consist of, is ultimately what they want you to answer.
4a) GENERIC ATTRIBUTES THAT FAIL TO MAKE IMPACT

Most people stick to generic characteristics that they consider to have mass
appeal, such as these following descriptions:
-Fun loving
-Adventurous
-Kind
-Sociable
-Content
-Good sense of humour
- Ambitious
- Intelligent
- Hardworking
- Open minded
- Passionate
- Positive
- Confident
- There is of course nothing wrong with these personality traits, however, when
guys just list a random load of qualities to their profile, they are unintentionally
conveying the message that they are an all round average guy.
- You see, nearly every guy on any dating website, is listing the exact same
attributes, therefor, if you list these qualities it will only result in you getting lost
in an ocean of other profiles that the woman will be looking through.
-
4b) GIVING HER AN INSIGHT

- Instead, opt for just three of the attributes that you have chosen to share, and add
to each one the following:
- A reason
- A story OR emotions that you associate with for this particular
characteristic.
for example, lets say you consider yourself to be a positive person, and you want
to choose that particular trait in you list of attributes.
Start, by adding a reason :
I am a positive person, as I believe that no matter what challenge your faced,
the only way to beat it is by applying a positive attitude.
Next step, add the story or the emotions that you associate with this
particular characteristic:
I am a positive person, as I believe that no matter what you challenge your
faced, the only way to beat it is by apply a positive attitude. When I failed my
grades at school, instead of blaming the system or blaming others like a lot of
my friends did, I looked at what I needed to focus on in order to gain what I
now have today
This clearly and immediately makes more of an impact and conveys a lot more
personal information to the reader, than just simply stating:
:
I consider myself to be a positive person
Here are a few more examples of how you can make more of an emotional and
psychological impact on the woman when she reads this part of your profile:
I have always been told that I am a kind person, which is something that I take
great pride in. Whenever one of my friends or family members need help, I do
not see at as a hindrance, I see it as an opportunity to make someones situation
easier and more enjoyable. When I was young a boy, I got into an accident
which left me in hospital for a week ( which felt like forever when your 11 years
old) and I remember everyone who came to visit me, and from then on I made a
promise to myself to be there for other people. Its something which is very
important to me and I have a great deal of time for people who show kindness
too.
My sense of humour, is not necessarily good, in fact its very cynical and either
you get or you don't. I believe humour is the answer to a lot of problems.
Having the ability to laugh at a potentially serious situation can make things a
whole lot better. Whenever something goes wrong, before I make amends to fix
it, I take the time to laugh about it first.
My friends say that Im ambitious, but personally I think thats an
understatement. My drive is relentless, and once I set my mind on a goal, I give
it everything I have. 4 years ago, I decided to learn Japanese ( why couldn't I
have just picked Spanish!) After setting aside hours each day for 6 months, I
finally earned to speak adequate ( not fluent) Japanese. It was a goal that I
achieved, and I believe anyone can do it if they are dedicated.
4C) PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE

There is also a mention of the past, the present and the future in the above
examples.
I encourage my students to try and always include the past and future as well as
the present when in an interaction with a woman, as this makes the man come
across as less one dimensional, and it also encourages the other person to want to
ask you more questions and find out more about you .
4d) STUDENT CASE STUDY BEFORE AND AFTER

So here is an example of another one of my students profiles before I helped
him , and after, which he has kindly given me permission to share:
BEFORE:
Age 28
Describe who your self:
I am an outgoing sociable person, who enjoys meeting people and learning
new things from them. I consider myself to be easy going but at the same time
passionate! Everyone tells me I have a great sense of humour, and I enjoy
making people feel happy and comfortable around me.
I am ambitious and hardworking, but I still like to make time for fun.
My zodiac sign is Aries, which apparently means that I am head strong and
loyal, although I don't believe in star signs, I have to admit that I think this
particular signs sums me up a lot.
AFTER:
I love to be around people, so I guess in my previous life( if you believe in that
kind of thing) I would have been a dog rather than a cat- not that cats are that
bad, but I definitely could not imagine living the life of a solitary creature.
In day to day life ì can be ultra laid back , and allow things to flow and take
their natural course,( imagine a Bob Marley track when you read that bit)
However, this does not mean I am so laid back that I will let an opportunity
float past me or that I lack the passion to go for what i want.
In fact, my passion is what motivates me and its what has helped me gain
everything I have yet wanted to achieve both on a personal and professional
level. I have many personal goals which I want to achieve, from the obscure to
the giant. One of them is to one day have a pet iguana called Neil ( obscure) and
one of them is to own my own company (giant).
For anyone interested in zodiac signs, mine is Aries!Now Im a complete sceptic
when it comes to star signs, but i do admit, since I am fairly open minded, I did
investigate into what this sign is meant to represent, and I must confess that the
attributes are similar to myself. Head strong and loyal TICK!
As you can see, in the first example of what the student had on his dating profile
in regards to letting people know more about himself, he opted for the safe bet.
or as I like t call it: Low risk low reward strategy.
He failed to come across as interesting, dynamic or exciting ( which are three
characteristics that nearly every women is searching for when she goes through
profiles on dating websites).
He did not mention anything negative, but he chose to leave out the juicy
descriptions and stories which are a vital elements that are required to captivate
the woman, and intrigue her and that help build a personal connection with her.
I asked the student to add a reason and a story to each of the characteristics that he
had chosen to describe him self with. So in his final draft we included the
following:
- More powerful emotional words
- Personal stories
- A clear understanding of who is
- Detail
- Insights in to his character, which was conveyed by using a more creative
style of writing.
- Conjuring the illusion that he was actually speaking to the woman who
would be reading this, rather than talking to a computer screen.
-
- Unapologetic pride in who was and want his values were, but making sure
that he did not cross that fine line of arrogance.
- Elements of the past, present and future.
- Future projections/goals
- Humorous quips, which demonstrated his particular sense of humour far
more effectively than just simply stating I have a good sense of humour
Since changing this part of his online profile, he found that women asked him far
more questions than they did previously, which indicated the fact that they had
been paying greater attention to what he had written than before.
It is well known, that an excellent early indicator of interest is when the other
person asks a lot of questions about you.
He also had a lot of more replies to his messages, and the women always
commented on how interesting he sounded.
Here is one message from a girl who contacted him after reading his profile
( location and name have been changed)
26 years old Bella
Hi David,
My names Bella, Im from a small town in Dorset, you probably wouldn't have
heard of it, but Im sure you know Dorset, so you will know its a beautiful placewhen its sunny! ( which is not a lot ;-( )
Anyway, I was curious about a few things: Why do you want to travel to Peru so
much? Ive been there and to be honest, its not as great as the brochures make
out. My other question, how come you like pet iguanas..reason I asking is
because I LOVE THEM. Going to replace my cat with one soon lol
Anyway, check out my profile, you will see I am a victim of the travel addiction
too lol
This girl, was not only asking him questions about himself, but she was also
noticeably qualifying her self to him. She wanted to prove to him that they have
interests and personality traits in common with each other.
She clearly wanted to prove to him that she was as well travelled as he was, if not
more, in fact, the last line was borderline needy!
Now I have seen the photos of this girl, and she looked like a younger version of
Julia Roberts, so dont go thinking she was a lonely divorced woman with three
kids and a vast collection of elastecated waist trousers.
He eventually went on a few dates with this particular girl, and said she was as
lovely as well as beautiful.
When constructing your profile information, always remember:
-You are unique
-You have high standards
-You have values
-You are unapologetic
-You have the gift to make others happy
These qualities must be conveyed in your information, without actually stating
them.
Chapter 5: Your JOB

Some dating websites ask you to describe your job and how you feel it about it.
Rather than choosing not to answer this question, you should instead view this
questions as an excellent opportunity to impress!
5a) IMPRESS HER THE RIGHT WAY

Now a lot of you might feel that your job is either dull, or the description of it is
boring, regardless of whether you love your job or not.
I have helped hundreds of men improve their descriptions of their work both in
conversation and in writing! I believe that even if you HATE your job you can still
win people over and get them interested in you, simply by altering your
description of the job combined with UNAPOLOGETIC HONESTY in how you
ACTUALLY FEEL about your job and why you do it.
Lets first of all take a very common case: You have a job which you like, and it
pays well and it is something you have chosen to do because you are good at it
and it brings benefits to your life as a whole. However, the actual job itself that
you do, and the often dull and unimaginative descriptions that come with that job,
unfortunately fail to inspire other people and as a result it becomes a conversation
killer rather than a conversation starter ( which is what you should be aiming for)
For the sake of this example, lets say you are a software programmer.
You will probably be reluctant to want to talk about it in too much detail. Not
because your embarrassed, not because you don't like your job, but because you
have convinced your self that it is a conversation killer and from past experience,
its not a job which has inspired a woman to ask you a lot of questions. So as a
result you probably write something on the lines of:
I work in computers- I like what I do, but my job is not who I am
or
Im a computer programmer, its a bit dull but it pays well
Or you might even attempt to over sell the job by saying:
I am my own boss and I love what I do! I am passionate about my job as it
provides lots of challenges! It also funds my lifestyle and i get to pick when I get
to go on vacation! Perfect!
This is typical overselling. And girls read it and hear it all the time, but all they
feel is that they still dont know much about you or your work, and that instead
you are somehow trying to prove something to them- which obviously sets alarm
bells ringing!
So lets stay away from
Being apologetic bout what you do.
Being embarrassed about what your job is.
Coming across as dull.
Coming across to humble.
Being too vague.
Over selling!
And instead, lets introduce:
Pride
Honesty
Unapologetic truths
Background information
Emotions
Detail
Future projections
5b) STUDENT CASE STUDY BEFORE AND AFTER

BEFORE:
This is a case study of a student who I helped with improving his online dating
profile. He is 29 years old and is an accountant. The description of his job that he
had initially put was:
I work as an accountant. It has its draw backs, but it also has some great
pluses . Also I really like the team I work with , we all make a potentially boring
job fun!
I asked Ahmed, why he chose this profession, he revealed to me that it was
something that his parents pushed him into, and it was an occupation that came
easily to him.
I then asked him how he felt about his job. He said that he found it boring,
although he likes the people he works with a lot, he feels that sometimes he could
be doing something else that could provide him with more job satisfaction.
I then asked him why he continues to do it if he finds it dull. Ahmed then further
revealed to me that he is saving money to become a property developer, and that
he hopes in 5 year, that will be his main source of income.Property developing is

what he is more passionate about.
With this honesty and information and background story, we were able to develop
a far more impressive job description that resulted in women actually taking an
interest in his job and day to day working life when he messaged them.
AFTER :
Here is his profile after the much needed alterations:
I come from a typically hardworking asian family, where getting the grades
and obtaining a decent job is crucial! My brothers and sisters were either
encouraged to become dentists, doctors or accountants..so guess what I chose?
yep..an accountant!..Being a doctor was not an option for me, as I cant stand
the site of blood, and being a dentist was BIG NO WAY!
Luckily I have a really cool team that I work with, who keep me sane after a
long day of counting other peoples money :-) But whats great, is that thanks to
doing what I do, I get to see all the mistakes my clients make, and I learn a lot
from that, especially since I have recently made the decision to become a
property developer soon. I will miss my team, but I cant wait to start my new
career
In this improved version, he has shared with the reader some personal background
story. In his case it was about his family and how he has been brought up,
something that he found girls in similar professions actually could relate to.
He gave an insight in to his day to day working life, by mentioning his team and
what he has to do.
He has not lied about how he feels about his job, by pretending to love it, instead
he has hinted to the fact that its not something he wants to do in the long term,
(which demonstrates unapologetic honesty) however, immediately after, he comes
back with the benefits that his job gives him, which then leads on smoothly to his
own personal aspirations and future projections, leaving this section on a positive
note.
Here are some other examples of effective ways to explain your job:
I work in sales, demanding and stressful at times, but I believe I need that to
stop me becoming complacent. I thrive on competition, and my job provides me
with that on a daily basis. It also gives me enough time to work on other projects
that I see coming into fruition in around a year from now.
I am a computer software developer, its something I hate! Yes, theres no way

of getting out of this one, I choose to do this because 1. Im very good at it, and
2. It funds the life I currently love to live. When the clock hits 5:30 I switch off!
I enjoy the rewards of a long hard days work and when Im not working focus
on enjoying my self to the limit!
From Monday to Friday, 9am to 6pm I become Mr Focus! I work in a bank,

with a serious bunch of people ( who like to wear grey!),and to be honest, they
are people who I have to work with rather than choose to work with. I envisage
myself moving up away from my current job title, which of course is why I an
very focused when I am there. My job makes me appreciate my friends and the
time I spend with them a whole lot more, which is great
For students:
Being student, teaches you that its crucial to make sure you get the balance of
partying and studying down to a fine art. Although my studies are very
important to me, I am aware that this is meant to be one of the best times of my
life, and I intend to enjoy it. I like to consider myself a geek in the classroom
(yep, colour co-ordinated notes and all) and a party animal at night, that way I
get the best of both worlds without jeopardising my long term career ambitions,
which of course entails world domination
All of these examples have movement in them. You can almost feel the person is
talking to you on a personal level, rather than reciting a list of recycled points like
a robot.
Remember, if your job is something you hate, then say it! Be unapologetic with
your honesty, but remember to explain why you have chosen to do it and where
you see your self in the future ( again, adding past, present and future elements
can make you come across far less one dimensional)
Many women are also doing jobs that they hate, so it is refreshing when they see a
guy who speaks their same language in an emotional sense, but has the courage to
admit their feelings in an unapologetic manner.
Never underestimate how much you can achieve with unapologetic honesty,
unapologetic truths and unapologetic vulnerability. It conveys a delicious paradox
that results in you coming across as very self assertive, confident, honest and it
also conveys the notion that you have a deep and clear understanding of who you
are, what you want and where you are going. This is a universally attractive
quality that any man can possess and convey!
CHAPTER 6: WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN AN

IDEAL WOMAN?
This question can again vary depending on which dating website you choose, and
usually the websites will give you a vast list of questions regarding this area with
sometimes a vast list of multiple choice answers.
HOWEVER, there is nearly always a section that ask you to give an actual written
description of what you are looking for in a woman.
6a) THREE COMMON MISTAKES

Most men screw this section up COMPLETELY. They will make one of these
following 3 mistakes:
Mistake 1: Telling women what YOU they THINK they want to hear
Mistake 2: Coming across too openminded and consequently conveying the
message that they will have whatever they can get!
Mistake 3: coming across to arrogant and big headed.
Lets start with mistake number 1.
Mistake 1: telling women what YOU think they want to hear
So what do men THINK women want to hear when he lists out the characteristics
that he is looking for in his ideal woman? Men often believe that women dont
want to be judged or feel like that they need to qualify themselves in any way or
to be made to feel as if they need to tick any boxes. However, women ARE
looking for men with high standards and men who have clear ideals in what they
want from women, so in fact you DO need to have boxes that need to be ticked in
order to achieve this.
You can convey high standards without coming across a s arrogant, and I will
show you exactly how to get that fine balance right later on in this section.
Men are very often under the illusion that all women are searching online for a
soul mate or at the very least, a longterm relationship, and consequently, men will
list the dreaded term soul mate in regards to what they are looking for in a
woman.
I have seen countless on line profiles of men stating that they are looking for a
soul mate and even my students have made this same mistake, and yet when I
ask them if they truly want this, they always say NO. They say that ultimately
they want to find the one but they also want to meet up for fun and sexual
experiences, and if anything more significant unfolds as result, then thats a bonus!
Finding a soul mate, for lack of a better word, is a romantic term, and whether you
believe in soul mates (or the sensation that it refers to), its something that should
happen naturally, almost unexpectedly. so by stating your desire to meet a soul
mate you immediately kill off the romance and the thrill of the unexpected that
pure romance brings. This applies also to the classic mistake of stating your
desire to willingly jump into a long term relationship. Women want ONLY the
hint that this could happen,!The delightful possibility of finding a soul mate or a
long term blissful relationship is far more exciting and appealing than someone
handing it to them on a plate.
Romantic gestures and statements can back fire if done in a cold cynical manner.
So NEVER express your desire to find a soul mate or your need to be in a long
term relationship on your profile page.
Note: Even if you are looking for the one or the woman of your dreams, you
have to be extremely careful that you don't give this away too soon, as it can result
in you coming across as desperate and needy. As much as most women deep down
want to find their prince charming , they don't want that prince charming to be the
desperate guy that hands them everything on a plate. They want to believe that
finding the one will happen spontaneously and unplanned.
So STAY AWAY from descriptions that you THINK women want to hear such as:
Im looking for a soul mate
Im looking for the girl who wants to share the rest of her life with me
I want a woman I can hold hands with and who understands that I will always
be there for her no matter what
Im looking for meaningful relationships
I want a woman who I can say I love you to every morning
All this is tacky and they are statements that women don't want to hear. So don't
think your being clever by giving them what you have heard they want to hear
from some book written in the 1950s or some terribly scripted chick flick,
Times have changed, and subsequently women have different wants and desires
than they did when these well meaning pieces of information that are still
scattered about first came out.
Mistake 2: Coming across too openminded and vague,consequently

conveying the message that they will have whatever they can get!
Men are paranoid that they will frighten off any potential interest, if they state too
many requirements, so consequently they come to the conclusion that they should
come across as open minded and adopt a live and let live attitude to dating. But
this often translates to women as: Ill have whatever I can get rather than being
open mined, as the man had hoped to initially achieve.
Women want to feel special , and if you don't state any particular requirements,
then how can you be the one who makes her feel special? Never fall under the
illusion that women are frightened off by a man who has high standards or knows
what he wants, in fact ,women are drawn to a man who knows what he wants and
who has boxes that need to be ticked. It raises his value , which is always an
attractive quality to possess.
However, you dont want to come across as an impossible man that will never
be pleased, or a man who has so many detailed requirements that it result in
cutting off the majority of the women who check out his profile.
The way to get this part right is to be clear about what you want from a woman,
but at the same time to leave enough room for her to see herself ticking those
boxes in her own unique way.
Example:
If you state that you want a woman who is career focused, you will be isolating
women who love their jobs, but are worried that because they are not completely
dominated by their careers, then you might think they lack ambition or that they
are not passionate about what they do.
However, if you reword it like this:
I like a woman who is focused on her career, however, this doesn't mean I
want a high powered business shark that talks about nothing but her job. Its
important to have a balance! but its great being with an independent woman
Although its still clear you want a woman who has her own job, and her own
sense of direction in terms of her career, you are still making it equally clear that
you are not JUST looking for a woman who MUST be career obsessed. You are
also stating your desire for a someone who is independent. Most women like to
consider themselves to be independent ,because independent equals, free thinker,
in control and strong.
Example:
If you just state:
Im looking for a woman with a great sense of humour
This will fail to make impact because it is far too vague. Nearly every guy make
this exact mistake,and consequently, he will fail to convey the message that he
has specific ideals.
A better way to state this requirement would be to reword like this:
I like women with a wicked sense of humour, a great sense of humour is
common, but when a woman clicks with me by sharing a joke that other people
might not always get, then thats a big turn on.
Wicked sense of humour, has more of a naughty or risky feel to it. Also by adding
the last line, you convey the message that you have high standards, and that you
are looking for a unique kind of woman ( something that ALL women want to be
thought of as)
Ultimately, you need to show that you have high standards and a clear idea of
what type of woman you are looking for, but simultaneously you must word this
section in a particular way, that will not isolate too many women either.
The examples I have given above should be sufficient enough in order for you to
structure this section of your profile in order to maximise your chances of
attracting many women, whilst still demonstrating the fact that you have high
standards and that you know what you want.
Mistake 3 Coming across to arrogant

If you follow the advice I have given in the above section, then you shouldn't
make the mistake of coming across too arrogant.
There is a fine line between having the ability and confidence to demonstrate a
particular idea of what you want in your ideal woman and coming across as an
arrogant and impossible to please.
In order to not make this mistake, stay away from statements such as:
I want a woman who can keep u p with my sense of passion and drive
or
I want a woman who has the same qualities as me
or
I want brains as well as beauty
I believe I deserve the best
These kind of mistakes are fairly uncommon, but I have noticed them cropping up
more and more, and in my opinion, its probably because these guys have been
advised by some pick up coaches who drilled into them the mantra that they are
the prize and that women need to recognise that fact.
Although I agree that ultimately, men need to convey the message that they are
indeed the prize and the ideal choice for the women they pursue, it is essential that
they do this in a very subtle manner, rather than choosing the option of coming
across as arrogant and big headed.
So rather than starting your sentence with I want replace it with
I like.... or
I find that.... or
A woman who...........is a major turn on for me
This will make you come across as less self centred and arrogant.
Remember to replace self centeredness and arrogance with a message that
demonstrates that you possess complete understanding of who you are and
confidence
CHAPTER 7: YOUR MESSAGE

So by now, if you have followed the advice given in this e-book so far, and have
applied the structures that I have clearly given examples of, whereby I have
deliberately left enough space for you to add your own unique story and your
own unique character to.
You should be ready to send out those messages to any of the women on the
website that you desire to contact.
7a) FIRST CONTACT

Most guys make the mistake of sending the girl a classic copy and pasted
message which does not leave the sufficient amount of impact for her to even
bother to check your profile page let alone respond to your message.
What do I mean by vague?
I went undercover on a number of these websites, whereby I set up an online
profile with some adequate photos, and awaited the messages that would be sent
to me.
Within 5 days I received over 90 messages, and apart from only 8 of them, I was
able to put the messages in to 3 separate categories that all failed to make enough
impact or the slightest urge to respond back.
7b) COMMON INITIAL MESSAGE MISTAKES

i) The apologetic low value message:
Hey,
I think you look gorgeous! I bet you get loads of messages from guys bothering
you on here.
I don't usually check this website that often, but when I saw your photo I felt I
had to message you. If you have the time, check out my profile.
Would be great to hear back from you xx
Thos messages reeks of desperation. Here is a guy who is first of all giving me
way to much value, based solely on what he has seen of my profile photo.
Next, he has made a blatant lie, that he RARELY check the website, this tells me
that he needs to prove to me that he is too busy to check his messages. ( A fact he
could have conveyed in a far more subtle manner that would have been more
believable)
He then asks me to his check his profile page, which demonstrates his lack of
confidence in the fact that I would have anyway.
He then finishes off with another line that gives me way too much value and
consequently ends up decreases his value.
ii) The over flirty message:

Hey beautiful,
You looks so hot! I love that photo of you in the bikini, you looks so sexy in that
one!.
Get in contact with me and lets have some fun
This screams PERVERT. Even if the guys who send these kind of messages are
not perverts, and think that they are simply being direct and cheeky and flirtatious,
the general picture they are paining of themselves ( unintentionally) is one of a
horny guy looking to get laid with any girl who looks half decent.
Its far better to flirt via text message after you have established the fact that she is
very keen. ( flirty text messages that WORK can be found in my text and phone
game e-book TURNING NUMBERS INTO DATES)
iii) The LONG message:

Hi
My names Simon,
I was browsing this site when I came across your profile. I really like what you
said , especially the fact that you like travelling. I love travelling, its always been
a passion of mine. Last year I did a tour of south America, an area I see you
have not yet covered. I spent 2 weeks in Columbia and then 1 week in
Brazil( which was awesome!) then I went t Argentina, which was really
interesting, but the people were not very friendly! LOL
I have a question about one of your photos, its the one where you are cuddling
a massive bear ( obviously a man in a costume!) was that taken outside Hamleys
in London or outside Harrods? I live in London, so I should know the answer
to this one, but to be honest, Im kind of hoping you say its the toy store
Hamleys, as that would be really cool! I never think you can be too young to
love toys! LOL
Anyway, if you have time, check out my profile page and my album, lost of
photos of my travels, including my recent south american tour.
Hit me back! Maybe we can meet up for a drink sometime
Simon
As you can tell, this message is INFORMATION OVERLOAD! These kind of
messages have so much information in them, that as a result, I am overwhelmed
and cannot remember a single point he mentioned to me. These long winded
messages also make the guy come across as desperate to please and boring! Even
though the guys who are sending such long messages like this, might be really
interesting and have really fascinating lives, they ultimately fail to convey any of
this thanks to their long droning message.
7c) WHAT YOUR FIRST MESSAGE SHOULD CONTAIN

Your opening message should contain the following elements:
i)
ii)
iii)
iv)
v)
vi)
A non-contrived heading
A connection
A clear demonstration of your confidence
Humour
Originality
An invitation to respond.
Let us start with the first point:

i) A non-contrived subject heading:
There are a lot of tips on the internet, that suggest men need to use funny and
very unique subject headings such as:
Tiddlywinks Champion requires more winks.
My golf buggy has room for two, shall we tee off together?
Welly wearer seeks playmate for puddle splashing and dog walking.
I couldn't believe that so called experts are actually dishing out this kind of
cringe worthy advice.
Of course, since this e-book is based on over 4 months of intense research, I
asked a wide range of women, between the ages of 20 - 44, from all
backgrounds, what they thought of subject headings such as these. As I
suspected, they all shared my view, which was they these kind of silly and
over the top subject headings came across as desperate totally unfunny and
totally contrived
All of the women agreed that a more natural and less contrived subject
heading was best.
Most women check nearly every message they get, but dating coaches and
so called online dating experts will frighten you into thinking that women get
hundreds of messages on a daily basis, and only have the time to look at 2 or
3 messages, so they encourage you to come up with this wacky contrived
subject headings!
However, if one of these quirky and off the wall subject headings are totally
congruent with your personality, and are something that you would do
naturally, and highlight your quirky sense of humor and character- then do it!
As this would not be contrived.
Instead, your subject heading for your first message should demonstrate the
fact that you have read her profile page, rather than just seen her photo and
name.
For instance: If she has just graduated then you can use the subject heading:
Congrats on your graduation
If she has traveled to a cool location, then you can use similar subject
headings as these ones:
I got a question about Bali.. (insert which ever location she had been
to)
or
Is Vegas as amazing as everyone really says?
If she has a passion for something, such as Vampire movies, then you can
use similar subject headings as these ones:
Wanted to get your opinion on a vampire movie..
or
Vampires movies are cool, but the old Dracula movies are better
If she loves cats then you can use similar subject headings as these ones:
I prefer dogs, but why are cats your choice?
or
If you met my labrador- you would prefer dogs
if she loves shopping you can use similar subject headings as these ones:
Do your prefer shopping on your own with a friend?
or
Bags or shoes?
Some of these are questions, that convey the fact that you have read her
profile, and since they are a question, they are more likely to get read first
than just a plain old Hello Laura
However, some of them are also statements or opinions, and they can be just
as powerful.
Here are some more statement and opinion subject headings, that still
show her you have read ALL her profile:
If she works in advertising you can use a similar subject headings as this one:
Advertising is something I wanted to get into
If she works as a school teacher you can use a similar subject headings as
this one:
The teachers at my school used to terrify me..
If she describes herself as openminded you can use a similar subject
headings as this one:
Open mindedness is a great start
If she describes her self as out spoken you can use a similar subject headings
as this one:
Us out spoken people are a dying breed..
If she describes her self as a party animal: you can use a similar subject
Party animal? Im going to put that claim to the test..
If she says she a Scorpio (or which ever zodiac sign she is) you can use a
similar subject headings as this one:
Scorpios are said to be the most confident out of the 12..

If she says she likes reading romance novels you can use a similar subject
Love Story has to be the greatest romance novel ever..
These all make just the right amount of impact to get her intrigued. They sit
comfortably between the boring and uninviting Hello Katy and the weird
and contrived Canoeing wombat seeks hiking kangaroo
ii) Connection
Since you have already started your first message to the girl with a subject
heading that shows her you have read her profile, you would have instantly been
making a personal connection with her rather than starting with something
random or generic.
Having a connection with a woman, does not always mean sharing all her
opinions and pastimes and activities. Having a connection, can be
UNDERSTANDING why she likes something or why she is they way she is. Or
connection can be made by showing your interest in in finding out WHY she has
these passions or WHY she is the way she is.
(In my Deep connection DVD set, this is explained in far greater detail.)
So dont feel obliged to LOVE everything she lOVES, or have the same outlook
and point of views that she has!
One of my students used to believe that he needed to have lots in common with
the women he wrote to, and subsequently he always used to write women
messages that went like this:
Hey!!!!!
I noticed you said your were a chocoholic- me too! I love Aeros best..
I also noticed you have done the west coast road trip- this is something I did last
year, and it was so much fun. Maybe since we are both well travelled, and self
confessed chocaholics, we can share some time comparing travel stories over a
box of Maltesers, and a glass of red wine. Yes, I love to unwind with a glass of
red wine too- so glad you prefer red to white too.
WOW! All he was desperately trying to do was prove to the girls that he has SO
much in common with them. The reason why girls never bothered responding to
him was because he was trying desperately to connect with them on a very
surface level, and as a result he never revealed anything about the reasons or
passion that support those interests.
Secondly, because he was trying to prove to girls that he had so much in common
with them, he failed to ask them any interesting questions, and he failed to
challenge them too.
But most importantly, he came across as too much of an approval seeker I told
him he might as well have sent them this:
Please like me, Im just like you, I like the same things as you, and we can do
all the same things together
iii) A clear demonstration of your confidence.
Don't lower your value because she is beautiful or because her profile seems to
depict an amazing lifestyle. Remember, that like men,women are trying to
impress others when writing their online profile, and therefore she's probably
exaggerating certain points in order to impress, so don't feel overwhelmed about
contacting her, and don't feel that you lack the power to match her ideals or her
lifestyle.
What do I mean by lowering your value?
A lot of guys believe that if they come across as modest and if they use tons of
self deprecation, then some how the girl will think this is cute or sweet
which will cause an overpowering desire to meet them! WRONG!
Women will indeed think its cute, and they will indeed think your probably a
sweet nice guy, however, these are NOT the reasons that will make her want
to meet you. Self deprecation can be funny now again, but if you use it too
much, it begins to decrease your value rapidly!
In order for you to demonstrate your confidence in the message, always be
bold in your opinions, your statements and avoid too many LOLs ( as these
can be misinterpreted for an online nervous laugh).
Remember to not plague her with compliments, and NEVER show her any
signs that she is out of your league, or that she's probably to busy to reply to
your message, or make the assumption that she must get bombarded with
messages all the time.
Here is an example of one of the many messages that I received which

demonstrated ZERO confidence:
hey
Im sure you must get loads of messages all the time.

But if you have the chance to read this, then here I go! lol
I am a musician based in London, and am currently in the stages of going for
interviews with record companies, Its an interesting experience, but sometimes
a little soul destroying lol
I know this sounds really corny, but I have to tell you that you are really
beautiful. I can imagine you hear that all the time lol
Anyway, if you do get the chance to read this message, then it would be cool if
you could message me back. I know your probably very busy, because of your
busy career, but it would be nice to stay in contact
xx
As you can see, this guy probably suffers from a nervous laugh as it even comes
through in his messages, the excessive LOLs do NOT demonstrate confidence.
. Never ever start a compliment with I bet you get this said to you all the
time.. or words to that effect- again, you are presuming to quickly that every
one thinks she's beautiful. Also, you are deliberately putting yourself in the
same category of every other guy, again this FAILS to demonstrate
confidence.
. Never presume in your message that she is busy, or too busy to respond to
you, this decreases your value and raises hers which results in an imbalance
of power.
. Never ASK her to message you back, always presume that she will! We will
look at an invitation to respond later on in this section.
. Do not end your first message with kisses (xxxxxxxxxx) or even one kissthis should only come after you have developed more of an online
relationship with this girl, and when you know for sure that a date is on the
cards.
iv) Humour
Adding a touch of your own humour in the first message is always a bonus.
Just like meeting someone in real life for the same time, it can feel a little
awkward. So adding humour to an interaction in order to make the other person
feel more relaxed, and to lift the potentially awkward feeling, is a fantastic social
skill to possess, so add this if you can.
v) Originality.
What do most men write in their first message to a girl whom they contact through
an online dating website?
They write:
How are you?
Your really attractive/pretty/beautiful/hot
You sound really interesting
Do you go on this site much?
I dont check this site that much
Check out my profile
Try your upmost best, to LEAVE these kind of questions and statements out of
your first message to the girl. Most guys have a set structure, like the one above,
and if you use or continue to use the same unoriginal structure, then you will
increase your chances of getting put on hold for later, and then possibly
forgotten about.Or you might even be even dismissed out of her her mind
immediately.
Being original in your first message, does not mean being WEIRD!
Here is a message that one of my student used to send women, thinking he was
being original- but consequently just coming across as ODD:
WOWWWWWW, big brown eyes are my favourite thing about a woman, and
boy oh boy you sure possess some deep chocolate brown eyes right there! ;-)))
I have had the most CRAZY day, my best friend Luke came over with his
German Shepherd puppy, and it attacked my leg- then it ripped my rug to
shreds! Im still cleaning the mess- and guess what? my friend actually blamed
ME for not puppy proofing the house! WTF? What is puppy proofing? LOL
Now lets see, what can I tell you about myself that my profile might not
share..hmmm..my favourite colour is green! I used to watch Peter Pan all the
time when I was a kid, so I guess thats why I like it..what else? hmmm, well I
guess you just have to ask me or checkout my profile if you want to know more
nuggets of information about me :-)
Hopefully we can share a cup of something hot and delicious one day, and have
a good conversation together about everything from politics to pop idol..so stay
in touch..
P.S
I have a question, Do you always wear black ? ( your photos only have you in
black clothes) I hope your not a goth! LOL
Chat soon..PETER PAN x
I asked my student why he wrote these kind of over the top messages, and he
revealed to me that he was using a combination of different methods and advice
that he had obtained either from the internet or from pick up coaches and dating
coaches that claim to specialise in online dating.
I asked him what the general response was from women when they read his
messages, and he replied that they either wrote back LOL and nothing more, OR
Are you in therapy? But most the time they never replied back at all. Every
sentence in his message was indeed original, but the overall effect was weird and
manic. He could have just used one or maybe even two of those off the wall
lines or stories, and that would have been enough to make his message come
across as original rather than manic and odd.
Remember, sometimes less is more.
vi) An invitation to respond

If your message is interesting enough, original enough, and asks the right amount
of questions, and those questions you have chosen to ask make enough impact,
then you do not even have to add an invitation to respond.
By just adding the casual line
speak soon..
You would in fact be demonstrating your absolute confidence in the fact that she
will respond back.
However, if you insist on adding an invitation to respond or you feel that your
message lacked the ingredients to insure she will respond, then here is my advice:
DO NOT ADD:
Would be really nice if you could get back to me
I hope to hear back from you soon
heres my number, give me a call
Whats the best way to stay in touch?
Im online on wednesdays and Sundays, so lets carry on with this then
All these act as a a very thinly veiled ultimatum and as a result, they force the girl
to make her feel like she has to make a decision, rather than implanting the desire
for her to reply.
They also finish the message on a negative note, as they are needy and unsure.
Wouldn't it be far better to leave her with the feeling that she WANTS to respond
back to you and that she has a desire to continue with the interaction?
At the end of your message, use either of the following tried and tested invitations
to respond:
I look forward to hearing your explanation of why you insist on wearing that
red top in nearly every single photo :-)
I look forward to finding out why you keep going back to New York EVERY
single year..
Looking forward to hearing more about that singing career you put on hold
It your turn to confess..whats your geeky hobby ( everyone has one!)

or you can just finish with a question and leave out the looking forward.. or its
your turn to confess line.
These examples end the message on a far more positive note. They show your
confidence in your belief that she will respond, and they finish off with an
interesting question that will encourage her to write back to you with the answer.
7d) The length of your message

How long is too long? and how short is too short? The questions should be, what
is the quality of your content in that message rather than the length.
However, I advise against FIRST messages that are TOO long. Your first message
should be no more than 10 to 12 lines.
In this section I am going to share with you 3 IDEAL messages that vary from 2
lines to 7 lines to 11 lines. Each one has their own structure and are able to get
across some of the above elements.(obviously the shorter one includes less
elements, but still made enough impact for all my students who used them to get a
response.)
These messages I have chosen for this example were constructed by me for the
same student, who has had an amazing response result with each one.
SHORT MESSAGE:
Subject heading:
Pisceans are..
Message:
..meant to be good listeners..is it true? or will be left a zodiac sceptic all my life?
MEDIUM LENGTH:
Subject heading:
I fell off a horse once..
Message:
..and I still have the scar on my arm to prove it! So why I am talking to a girl
who loves horses is madness :-)
Seriously though, what made you get into such a hobby, did you grow up with
them? I bet you have a white one called Duchess..
Send me a tip to get over my fear of them, and ì will send you a tip of what to
do if you ever get the chance to go to China: like i recently did ;-)
LONG MESSAGE:
Subject heading:
One item from Gucci or..
Message:
..5 items from River ISLAND?
Your love of shopping has had to have had you asking that same question at
some point in your adventures in the high street.
Im actually one of those few guys who enjoys shopping too, but mainly for
electronic gadgets , but one I see what I want, I literally grab it before anyone
else can get it- a bit like women spotting a pair of Louboutins ;-)
Tonight Im going out to the opening of my friends new bar, so its going to be
drinks on him for once! Don you hate it when one of your mates never by a
round of drinks, or just ask you if you want a top up when they can see you
have a full glass?
Anyway, gotta get ready for this party, hope you have an awesome Friday night
too.
I look forward to hearing your answer to the Gucci dilemma

. The structure of the first one, which was very short:
He simply asked a single question about a subject that she had shown considerable
interest in in her profile.
This girl kept referring to the fact that her zodiac sign was Pisces. So he asked her
a question about it, and set her a challenge too.
. The structure of the second one which was longer:
The message was kept light hearted, however, he had the chance to not only ask
her a question about a passion she conveyed numerous times on her profile page,
and set her a challenge on it too. He also gave him self an adequate amount of
time to share a personal experience/story.
He also added a playful assumption, and left her with a piece of information about
what he had done recently ( his trip to China)
.The structure of the third longer one:
Again this message consisted of asking a question in relation to her passion that
she had stated in her profile , which in this case was shopping, but he also got to
ask her another more light hearted question which resulted from the small story he
shared with her about his plans for that evening.
Telling a girl what your doing later, providing it is fun and sociable, is a brilliant
move. It demonstrated the notion that you are not sitting at home waiting with
baited breath for her response. It also reinforces the fact that you are busy, in
demand and sociable.
As with the other examples, he left a positive invitation to respond.
All my students who have applied these structures to their first messages to a girl,
had a 80 percent increase in positive responses.
CHAPTER 8: WHEN SHE

RESPONDS
When she responds, make sure you take note of the following:
a) How long it took her
b) The length of her response.
8a) How long it took her to respond

If her response was 2 days or under, then take this as POSITIVE sign that she's
interested. In this case, respond to her the next day you receive her message.(not
straight away- wait a day since the time of her response)
If her response takes between 3 days and 6 days, then don't automatically assume
she is not interested. Girls play games as much as guys do. Us girls have the
whole waiting game down to a fine art, so remember that this could just be a
case of her playing games rather than a case of her being too busy. For whatever
reason, the main thing to remember here is that she has responded, and this means
there is potential.
In my popular e-book turning numbers into dates which shares every aspect and
step of text and phone game. I state that once a girl gives you her number there is
POTENTIAL. However, guys make tons of mistakes with their follow up texts
when it comes to insuring that number results in an actual date! The same
philosophy applies here. If she has responded positively to your message, then
there is POTENTIAL for you to solidify this online encounter into a an actual
date. It means that she likes your message, and has taken the time to check out
your new and improved online dating profile. and has come to the decision to
pursue this interaction/relationship. Now its just up to you to keep that aim of
meeting her firmly ingrained in your mind.
So if she has responded to your message positively between 3 to 6 days, then you
should respond 2 days later, instead of 1.
Remember not to EVER mention the fact that it took her a while to respond, and
remember not to take it to the other extreme, which would be
Oh, I forgotten I had even messaged you..
Instead, respond to her as if she had replied to your message 5 mins after you had
sent it NEVER mentioning how long it took her to respond.
8b) The length of her response
If she has responded with a short answer to your message, then reply back with a
message only slightly longer than hers, so if she wrote back 2 lines, respond with
3 or 4 rather than 10. A lot of dating coaches and pick up coaches will tell you to
respond with an even shorter message, but this unfortunately will only result in
you following her trend of short messages instead, by adding a line or 2 more
than the message she replied back to you with, will encourage her to keep to the
new trend that YOU are setting!
CHAPTER 9: YOUR AIM

Your aim is to always be closing. Always be directing the messages to securing
that date! This applies ESPECIALLY to Facebook messages. Many times guys
forget what their aim originally was, and end up having these amazing online
relationships with women they never get to meet or see again.
Although your aim should always be securing date, this does mean you should be
actually STATING this in your messages in any way! At least not until you send
her the actual message that invites her to meet up.
A lot of guys make the mistake of trying to use logical persuasion in order to
secure a date, which NEVER works or they set out ultimatums, again this
NEVER works.
9a) common mistakes

Here are some very common mistakes that guys make when they try to secure a
date after a couple of messages, they are both messages that were exchanged
between 2 of my students and 2 girls:
MISTAKE 1: Using logical persuasion
guy: What are you doing Thursday night? If your free, theres a really cool bar
in Chelsea that we could go to..what do you think?
girl: Really sorry, but Im busy this Thursday. How did your presentation at
work go by the way?
guy: yeah, the presentation when really well. Thats a shame about thursday,
how about next Tuesday? The bar is really cool, it serves the best cocktails in
the whole of London. How about we go then? if your free, and then you can see
how amazing the Cosmopolitans there are
girl: It sounds like a really nice bar, but to be completely honest, I dont really
know you that well enough yet, plus I am busy next week. Lets stay in touch
online and see it how it goes
guy: I know we only know each other online, but I can promise you I am a lot
better in person and a lot more fun too. Lets just meet for one drink, and if you
feel uncomfortable in any way, then I will even pay for your cab back home..is
that a deal?
Girl stops responding.
In the very first reply to his request of a date, she DID NOT offer an alternative
evening therefore she is telling him in the most politest way possible I don't
want to meet you yet . She even changed the subject, which tells me she was
uncomfortable with the idea for that present moment in time. However she
showed that she was prepared to think about it and was prepared to get to know
him better. However, he did not read between the lines, and decided unwisely that
logical persuasion would work.But it did NOT work!( it rarely ever does) It just
resulted in him looking too desperate and pushy.
In the end, this girl stopped all contact with him.
Here is another example that one of my students experimented with, where by he
used more of an ultimatum technique that was given to him by a pick up coach:
MISTAKE 2: Giving her an ultimatum
guy : Im free on Friday night, and we should meet in person. There is a new
bar opening in Santa Monica, and I think it would be great for us to check it out
together and at the same time finally have an amazing conversation in person
rather than online
girl: Hey, sounds really cool, but i have plans this Friday. Let me know if the
bar was any good? I went to an opening of one recently there, it was awesome,
but the music was hip hop which as you know I hate lol
guy: Look, I think we could have a great time together, whether its at this new
bar or any other bar for that matter. I think you are cool and although I enjoy
these messages, I want us to see each other in person. I plan to be far busier
soon, and wont have time to come on online as much as I used to. So why not
we stick to my suggestion and meet up Friday. If you cant alter your plans then
next week is fine, but after that my diary looks set to be pretty busy
girl : I really don't think I can make it. However i understand if your too busy
to chat online anymore, and I hope everything works out well for you.
Take care
This guy decided he needed to be very alpha, and assert his dominance in order to
obtain his goal. This is the exact words the pick up coach used when dishing out
his advice.
However, the girl obviously felt that she was being pressured into a corner, and as
a result she declined.
Although I encourage all my students to assert their dominance in certain
situations, I do not believe that this works as effectively when online.
9b) Pre planning

The best way to insure you get a date with a woman that you have never met takes
a bit more pre-planning than just asking her out and hoping for the best.
In most of your messages that you send her before actually SUGGESTING you
both meet up. you should demonstrate the fact that your busy and sociable, and
that you are a man who always has plans for nearly every night of the week.
This is essential for her to believe that your not some guy who spends too much
time in front of his computer looking for women, and also that your time is
precious and limited. Theres no point in SUDDENLY telling her your busy and
don't have time to talk to her, if all your messages you sent her before did not
convey that.
Most your messages should always mention your plans that you have for later
that evening or at least your plans for the weekend.
Resist for a while inviting her along. By doing this you will be conjuring a vivid
picture of you as a sociable, popular guy who is never short of invites to parties
and dinners and lunches. There will be a part of her that wants to join you and this
desire will increase the more you don't invite her. In other words, her desire
increases and increases when you delay the actual invite to join you.
Women are attracted to men more when they keep them waiting. Most guys make
the mistake of being too available or demonstrating that they have way too much
time on their hands, which consequently decreases their value, and as a further
result, the woman creates the notion in her mind that since he is always readily
available, that she can postpone him until she has nothing better to do, or until she
has run out of other options or more attractive alternatives. Sounds harsh,? yes!
But it the truth.
If your time is shown to be precious and limited, then she is more likely to value
the time you have set aside to meet up with her. She will understand that if she
says no, there might not be another chance to see you for a while. Not because
you would be sulking or bitter because she declined, but because you are simply
too busy!
9c) sealing the deal

So when it comes to actually sealing the deal, how do you do it?
Its worth mentioning at this point, that plenty of my students who have taken my
advice and applied everything I have said in relation to their exchange of
messages, have never even needed to ask the girl out. Lots of the women they
contacted ended up being the first one to ask them out instead!
A further point that is definitely worth mentioning:
You should aim to swap telephone numbers early on in the exchange of
messages, as this first transition makes the next transition far easier to complete.
By swapping numbers, and texting and phoning each other, you automatically
move away from the online experience I believe it is essential to do this if you
want to increase your chances of actually meeting the woman.
Letting her hear your voice, and actually SPEAKING on the phone will strengthen
her trust in you and increase your chances of meeting her dramatically!
However, if you are still only speaking online here are the points you need to
remember when you to ask her out.
. Always emphasise on we should rather than I want

. Never ask what she wants to do
. Have a specific idea of what you want to do
. Never convey the message that you have been planning this for some time
. Always leave a few days for her to choose from rather than just one single
specific day
. Do NOT use logical persuasion if she says no
. Be playful
. Do NOT force an ultimatum
. Presume her answer is yes.
. Your only question is when?
. Add future projections
. Do NOT come across as intense.
. Treat the situation as if you were asking a friend to join you for a few beers
I want to show you some opening lines that men use, which usually decrease
their chances of sealing the deal:
I really like you, and I would like..
or
Ive been thinking...
or
It would be really nice/amazing to actually meet you
These are weak and needy, and make you come across as unsure so AVOID using
them.
This moment should always have a spontaneous feel to it! However, this does
NOT mean, you should write:
Hey whats your plans tonight..?
Spontaneous in this sense means that you have decided that actual day you
message her, that it would be cool to meet up maybe this week or next week.
Here are some incredibly effective examples of messages that I gave my some
of my students in order to seal the deal:
Great news! I finally have a few days off work, I need this so much. I have
been seriously burning the candles at both ends, and really just want to chill for
a bit before ì go back to work. Lets do something one of those evenings after
you've finished work..I can be really smug whilst you complain to me about
your hard day at the office :-)
In this example, we used a future projection, whereby the student described the
picture of them both on the actual date. We intentionally made sure the future
projection was not corny or cheesy, and we did this by actually playing down the
whole future experience. Now this might sound like something that YOU
SHOULDN'T DO, and Im sure you have been told that your future projections
need to paint a perfect picture, but women can be very cynical when guys do
this ,and it can come across as if you are trying to sell the idea to her. By
playfully playing it down slightly, this actually makes the future projection more
believable and as a result it also relaxes the girl a lot, as she will feel under less
pressure to be perfect and will also feel under less pressure because of your casual
attitude towards the date. You have shown you have no high expectation of the
date,and therefore this will make the whole situation less intense
Women delay the date with someone they met online often because they are
worried the date will be awkward or too intense. Like I said before, asking her out
for the first time needs to be like you asking your buddy out for a drink ( very
chilled and very relaxed)
In this message, we also demonstrated the fact that he actually HAS TIME to meet
her! Rather than being too available, he listed a few days that he was free, and
made sure she got the message that it was back to being busy after those three day
were over, so he left her with the sensation that she had enough movement to
decide when to see him, but NOT enough to delay it.
Note- We used the word chilled. It was mentioned before he suggested meeting
her, so she already associates their meeting as being along those lines, as this
message reflected his current state of mind.
Here is another one I helped compose for a student:

Ive seen a movie advertised called --------- and it got that actor we both cant
stand starring in it, lets go watch it together and throw popcorn at the screen.
Its on for a couple of weeks, but unfortunately this week I cant go and see it, but
next week is a little less hectic for me..by the way, how long do you think we will
bare to see his face on the big screen before leaving?
Again, we made heavy use of future projections in this one,and again the
projections were playful and in no way intense.
We also made sure NOT to actually ask her out, or give a fixed date and time to
come and see the movie, again leaving her enough movement to choose when, but
not enough to delay it for too long either.
Your message should always presume that her answer is yes,. The only question
you are asking is when?
The last line finished on another future projection and added some playful humour
to leave her with.
Here is another example:
Have you ever been to a vegan restaurant? My mates who are all very much
red blooded meat eaters went to this new Vegan restaurant in Charing cross
road and said that it was actually pretty good. but I stand firm in the belief that I
will hate it.
Anyway, me and you are soooo going to do this together, I decided after our
conversation about trying new things that this would be a good chance to do
exactly that.
By the way, just in case, theres a burger bar around the corner, if the food is
really bad, I owe you a bacon cheeseburger..
Again, this example is packed with future projections and is playful too.
In this example, the student is almost saying that the restaurant experience will be
a disaster, BUT his future projection has implanted the idea in her mind that
regardless of where they go, they will still have a great time together.
In this example, the student was slightly more assertive than the other examples,
where by he wrote : me and you are soooo going to do this together The
reason for this, is because the student I was helping had a more dominant
character than the other 2 students, and he had already established the fact that the
girl he had made contact with responded well to assertiveness.
REMEMBER:
Sealing the deal, is NOT about stating just what YOU want. Its not about
logical persuasion either. Its about ASSUMING the date will happen, and
using future projections as an effective way to reinforce that belief in her, and
to increase her desire to say yes.
Sealing the deal is NOT about being too intense, its about being playful and
casual with the whole situation, as if you were asking your friend to come and
meet you for a couple of beers.
Sealing the deal is NOT about giving her an ultimatum, its about giving her
the feeling of room to choose WHEN she is able to meet up with you, but at
the same time, not giving her too much room to postpone or delay for too
long the meeting.
9d) To pursue or not to pursue?

If she says she cant make it, then she is probably not ready to meet you yet. It will
not be a case of her not having enough time, because you would have given her a
few days or even a week for her to be the one to suggest a precise time and date.
Never make the mistake of trying to persuade her, and never convey the fact you
are sulking or that she has upset you in any way shape or form.
Whether you wish to pursue her or if you no longer want to pursue her, then either
way, respond back, with:
Ok, I tell you what, you can suggest something next time, and so long as it
doesn't involve bowling or cheesy disco music then thats cool with me.
( and then change the subject)
Message her back a couple of time more and, if you have chosen to stop pursuing
her, then message her less and less until you have stopped completely. The reason
why I don't advise you to give up immediately when she says no, is because this
might actually be a little test that she has constructed to see how you well you deal
with the fact that she initially said NO ( something I discovered happens a lot
when I did my extensive research) If you send the message I have given you (or
something very close to it) and continue the exchange of messages as if nothing
has happened for a little while longer, then this might be exactly what she was
hoping for in order to make her feel confident enough to suggest meeting up her
self. Remember, you left the ball in her court, and if she likes you and admires
your reaction to her initial decline of the offer, then she will at the very least hint
to you that she is readyto meet up.
Attempt to seal the deal one more time, with the same structures as I shared with
you in the 3 examples, and if its another No..MOVE ON.
The great thing about online dating websites is the incredible amount of hot
women on them, so there is no need to get stuck on one girl, and even better, you
can have many online interactions with these women all at he same time.
CHAPTER 10: CONCLUSION

In this ebook we have covered all the most important topics and answered the
most important questions that men come to me with in relation to improving their
chances of online dating success.
Never rush the creation process of your profile page, this is one of the most vital
if not the most vital element you must perfect in order to increase your success
rate in online dating. Most my students spent between 4 days and 8 days in
insuring their online dating profile was the best it could be.
A lot of pick up coaches focus all their advice on the messaging process, which of
course is the other vital element in insuring your success, however, your messages
will go to waste no matter how fantastic they are, if your profile lets you down.
Beware of pick up coaches and so called dating experts who tell you they have
the one unique magic message that you can copy and paste and send to any girl
you want, that will result in having your inbox flooded with beautiful women
literally begging you to sleep with me. THIS IS A LIE.
All my students tried and tested most of these theories that others have passed on,
and nearly none of them worked, and they certainly did not have an inbox filled
up with horny messages from beautiful women!
I will not tell you that women will begging you for sex as a result of my
advice.
I will not tell you that EVERY woman you contact will want to meet up with
you
I will not tell you that you will not have to do some work in order to make
THIS work
However, what I AM telling you is this:
If you follow this guide you WILL increase your current level of online dating
success dramatically.
You WILL be able to secure dates with the women you want far more than
before.
You WILL receive far more positive responses to your messages than you do
currently.
You WILL be able to understand and work out women games and
psychology a whole lot more
You WILL get better and better with the messages the more you work at it.
You WILL be glad you have read this e-book
Without further ado, I wish you the best in your online dating success, and I thank
you for having the trust in me to purchase this book and the time you have given
in reading this e-book too.
Positivity breeds positive outcomes

Kezia Noble
www.kezia-noble.com
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ON LINE DATING

SUCCESS FOR MEN

(By Kezia Noble)

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 1

Your Profile information

a) What do you like to do for fun?

Describe your ideal women

a) How long it took her

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 3

Here are some interesting statistics:

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 5

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 7

2c) LOCATION, AND SETTINGS

ii) The Fakers photo

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 9

iii) The invisible man photo

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 11

2e) PHOTO BRILLIANCE

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 13

Here are 3 great examples:

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 15

2f) ACTIVITY PHOTOS

2g) Album photos.

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 17

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 19

CHAPTER 3: YOUR PROFILE

3a) WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO FOR FUN?

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 21

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 23

Here are some other examples you can use:

Writing is a passion of mine. I used to be bad at literature at school, so its

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 25

3b) STUDENT CASE STUDY BEFORE AND AFTER

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 27

4a) GENERIC ATTRIBUTES THAT FAIL TO MAKE IMPACT

4b) GIVING HER AN INSIGHT

4C) PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE

4d) STUDENT CASE STUDY BEFORE AND AFTER

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 31

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 33

Chapter 5: Your JOB

5a) IMPRESS HER THE RIGHT WAY

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 35

5b) STUDENT CASE STUDY BEFORE AND AFTER

he hopes in 5 year, that will be his main source of income.Property developing is

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 37

I am a computer software developer, its something I hate! Yes, theres no way

From Monday to Friday, 9am to 6pm I become Mr Focus! I work in a bank,

CHAPTER 6: WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN AN

6a) THREE COMMON MISTAKES

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 39

Mistake 2: Coming across too openminded and vague,consequently

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 41

Mistake 3 Coming across to arrogant

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 43

CHAPTER 7: YOUR MESSAGE

7a) FIRST CONTACT

7b) COMMON INITIAL MESSAGE MISTAKES

ii) The over flirty message:

iii) The LONG message:

Copyright 2011 Kezia Noble | www.kezia-noble.com | Page 45

7c) WHAT YOUR FIRST MESSAGE SHOULD CONTAIN

Let us start with the first point: