Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Peace
With God
At
Peace
With God
At
Peace
With God
by Mike Rigby
Acknowledgments
I wish to express a very special thanks to three people
in my life. Two very dear friends, Terry Obrien and Valerie
Sauve, whose hard work, critique and sometimes kick in
the pants has finally put this story to print. Your ability
to polish my rough exterior into something palatable will
surely not go unnoticed by the reader.
And what can I say about my overly supportive wife
Valerie? Her grasp of spiritual principles and love for others
has taught me one great lesson: Be yourself, but be your
best self. I love you! Thanks.
Contents
Chapter 1 ~ Reflections 1
Chapter 2 ~ Night Visitor 15
Chapter 3 ~ My Grandfather 25
Chapter 4 ~ Destruction Dream and
Learning to Listen 37
Chapter 5 ~ Christ in My Life 45
Chapter 6 ~ Teachings of Christ 59
Chapter 7 ~ Christs Life 65
Chapter 8 ~ Earthquake Predictions 75
Chapter 9 ~ Receiving Records 81
Chapter 10 ~ Publishing Sacred Scripture 87
Chapter 11 ~ Disciplinary Action 99
Chapter 12 ~ Dream About My Wife 109
Chapter 13 ~ The Garments 113
Chapter 14 ~ Seminary Teacher 119
Chapter 15 ~ Blessings 123
Chapter 16 ~ Tranquility 131
Chapter 17 ~ Speaking in Tongues 135
Chapter 18 ~ Exercises in Faith 141
Chapter 19 ~ Jenny 149
Chapter 20 ~ Conclusions & Summary 157
Forword
What you are about to read is my spiritual journey to
learn about myself and to meet and/or experience God.
Your path will probably be totally different. Our spiritual advancements seem to be as varied as our personalities, and only a Divine Source seems to know the needs
of each individual. It is my hope that in the pages of this
text you will be able to relate to principles or personality
traits of Godliness perhaps even character attributes of
deity that can be woven into the fabric of your own life.
Hopefully by learning of someone elses struggle you may
be able to comprehend God in a simple way which will
make focusing on God, or recognizing the God within,
easier for you. If along that path you gain information
which helps you to be God like, then my life will have
fulfillment and the purpose for this writing will have been
accomplished. MLR
CHAPTER 1
Ref lections
The sun beat down on our car as my wife and I sat
waiting for the next few minutes to tick by. We were hoping
to not be too early to my church Disciplinary Council. It
was the 19th of July 1994, and even though it was early
evening, the sun still hung high in the sky above the mountain town of Midway, Utah, which we called home.
As we walked to the foyer in the church, I could feel
the presence of a host of relatives who had long since
journeyed beyond this life. Only two years earlier I would
have dismissed such things as a figment of my imagination. But now it had become a reality. A reality I could not
free myself from, nor did I have a desire to. Life, and my
outlook on it, had changed so drastically, I was sure that to
the rest of the world I had become a kook.
As our meeting time approached we were directed to
a small lobby, only to find our wait there was longer than
expected. This gave me time to reflect on the past year and
a half of my life.
So much had changed. My attitudes had shifted so
greatly. I was not the person that I used to be, and yet I
could not deny all that had happened to me, nor would I
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what I was doing wrong, and help me see what was stopping my spiritual progression. While praying, I often said,
Lord take away from me everything that is keeping me
from seeing you although I felt that if taken literally,
this statement could mean that I may give up all that I
thought was of value in my life.
Still the desire to penetrate the barrier continued to
push me forward and drive me to some sort of peace with
regard to the matter. Through all the confusion I somehow
knew deep within my heart that God would somehow
open things up for me.
I remember one time as I was pouring my heart out
to God for help, I suddenly stopped in mid sentence and
began to cry. I felt overcome with sadness that somehow I
was letting God down, that I was failing the tests or experiences of this physical existence. At that moment all I could
see of my life was the failings and lack of progress. It was
as if in some way I had been rejected by my Maker and that
my offering to God was not complete enough. But, what
else could I give? Had I not been willing to put all I had on
the altar? As I wept, I pleaded for an answer. Precisely how
much time elapsed I am not sure for I felt caught up in the
anguish of failure.
As I continued to sink into my own manufactured
hell, I felt a burning or tingling sensation gradually cover
my whole being, and a great joy welled up in my chest.
It was as if a blanket of peace had slowly been rolled
over me and I was encompassed by some power I had
felt many times before, in brief moments. But now it was
stronger and more focused as it moved through me and
enveloped my emotions. Instantly I felt my mind clear,
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sincerely try to not let others influence what you say, do, or
think about. For me what came home hardest was just how
much I was being affected by those around me. It seemed
that 98% of what I was doing in life was the direct result
of my contact with others. And this contact meant I was
behaving a certain way because I was pre programmed by
my environment to act that way. Not realizing it, I really
thought that was how people wanted me to act, or that I
would gain the acceptance of others by displaying character traits they approved. It seems a bit silly now but at
the time I became very aware of the reasons behind my
everyday actions. I dissected my behavior and the thoughts
I was thinking to justify that behavior. When you do this
sincerely, your personality will change very rapidly.
The scripture Praise God in All Things took on
new meaning, and I asked myself which part of my experiences was not included in all things. I came to the conclusion that there was not one solitary thing happening to me
for which I could not thank God and give Him the glory.
Merlin Crowthers book From Prison to Praise was a big
help. When you can look at the mistakes of your own life
with true objectivity as a third person, you become more
forgiving of others, and then you can see the purpose in
what is happening in your own life. The divinity of it all
becomes overwhelming.
At this point my faith and understanding of God
were beginning to grow, even if still small. A seed was
there that I began to water and nurture in a most tender
way. Rather than rely on my own ability to get through
problems, I began to put the burden on God and let him
take care of them.
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CHAPTER 2
Night Visitor
Along my spiritual path, I had been asking God for
any enlightenment extant on the subject of life after death.
I often wondered why, if this life is to prepare us for the
next, are people so fearful of information about that next
life? If you set out to study all you can about the after life
you will be amazed at how much information is published
on the subject and how well that information dovetails
together. The broad picture is vast and far reaching. Even
with all you can find you will only be learning the smallest
part of the vastness of Gods creations.
I ran across a book written by Betty Eddie, called
Embraced by the Light. The book had only been out two
months when a friend gave me a copy to read and I stayed
up until three oclock in the morning devouring its message.
The book went on to be a best seller and I was able to chat
with Betty at one time about her encounter. She was as sweet
and loving on the phone as I had pictured she would be from
her writings.
More than anything else this book let me feel through
her experience the love of God and how close and personal
He is. I realized that we are the ones that drive God away
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and that there is nothing that I can do that will stop Him
from loving me. My desire then became even greater to
meet this Jesus, as his apostles had done after His death
and resurrection.
As I shared this book with others, I came across a
photocopy of Robert Bensons book, Life in the World
Unseen as channeled through Anthony Borgia. I found
myself astounded at its compatibility with what I had
already learned from my LDS background. A person
would have had to study all of his life on this subject to
bring so many truths about the other side, or Spirit World,
together in the pages of one book.
As I read it, I received Witness after Witness (that
burning loving feeling from God) of its truths, and my
insight and learning grew tremendously. His book also
brought up a lot of new questions for which I couldnt find
answers. So broad and expansive were his descriptions of
the Spirit Life and the Spirit World that I found my own
religious teachings fell short. I also found that there is a
great fear among religious sects today, my own included,
of what the after life is like.
I decided to research the author of this book, and
found Robert Hugh Benson had been a priest for the
Church of England while in the flesh. As a priest, Benson
had written about 20 religious books, which were basically
along the same theological lines of his church. However, he
later converted to Catholicism. Having labored in England
as a missionary for the Mormon Church I was acquainted
with the basic philosophies of the Church of England
and Catholic religions. I thus found it easy to understand
Bensons concept of God.
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There are many places in the Holy Writ, and even Jesus
said, By their fruits ye shall know them. I had to ask
myself, Were my actions and accomplishments loving,
kind, and gentle; was I at peace with myself and God?
And how about those who didnt understand? Were they
displaying these loving attributes? If not, should I be
heeding their advice?
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CHAPTER 3
My Grandfather
Two weeks after meeting Robert Benson, I was driving
only three or four blocks from my home when I began to
get that Witness of the Spirit feeling again. This was
a very strong sensation and it went from the top of my
head to the tips of my toes. I started feeling sweaty and I
thought that my whole body was going to overheat.
I began to have the sense that my grandfather was
there with me. He had passed away eight years earlier and
although we were close I had not thought much about him,
even though I had enjoyed being in his company. I saw
nothing unnatural, but could feel a familiar energy that my
grandfather was emanating.
As with Robert Benson I tried to clear my mind of all
thoughts and listen for a voice, but nothing came, just this
extremely intense feeling of great joy. As the feeling began
to fade I looked next to me in the passenger seat and actually pointed my finger in that direction, and said out loud,
I know that you are here, Grandpa, and when I get to the
other side, I want you to tell me how you made me feel this
way. Still I heard no speaking. At this point I so wanted
to hear him or see him, but there was no contact in what
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road and the rest of the area behind him, in front of the
car, have gone gray and it seems as though the vehicle is
on auto pilot.
The first words out of his mouth are, Whatever you
do, dont stop growing and developing spiritually, it will
put you so much further ahead in the world to come. At
this time he also tells me several personal things about my
life and tasks I should do which will help me to progress.
Then he explains that a cousin of mine is in need of help
and he wants me to call and try to be of assistance!
As he leaves, my surroundings go back to normal, but
I can still feel the energy he brought with him. It is peaceful
and serene calming, yet direct. It is hard to convey now
the true depth of what I was feeling at the time.
To experience the continuation of a relationship that
had ended with death was new to me. It is really difficult
to convey the magnitude of what it felt like. When people
died I had learned to drop them from my contact list.
That was the end of any kind of relationship. Yet here he
was literally continuing our friendship. There really is
no deathjust a transformation to another state of living.
The mind or personality is exactly the same mind it was
upon the change to spirit life. I had always had a belief in
the afterlife, but to switch to a knowing or sure knowledge
that it is there, is a bit of a jump.
I knew I had to act on my grandfathers wishes.
As I made the first call I could feel the hesitation in my
voice when my cousins wife answered the phone. I had
only seen my cousin once in five years and it was a little
awkward trying to help him when I didnt even know what
he needed. His wife was very nice on the phone, but told
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much this is going to cost; I know that it will only put him
under more stress. He agreed and thanked me for helping
him get involved with the case. I think he felt a genuine
connection with this family and really did want to help.
It was only a split second before my grandfather was
talking to me. He said, Dont worry about the money; we
will help you get it. I must admit this didnt help me to
forget about the money. I could see no way that my business was going to get those kinds of funds. It would have
been easier to crawl across the freeway naked in rush hour
traffic than to find $5000.00!
About a week later, in early September, my grandfather came again. He told me to get a thousand dollars
together and go to Las Vegas. Once I was there he would
show me what to do.
For the first time since his appearing to me, I started
to question what he was telling me, and I wrestled with his
instructions. I found that the communication line was not
as clear. This, I didnt know at the time, was because of
my lack of faith. I asked him what he wanted me to do in
Las Vegas, but he would give me no answer. In my mind
I kept trying not to think about it, but I still couldnt help
but wonder if he was going to have me gamble.
Although he was not speaking, I knew he was
listening, so I told him I had never gambled in my life, and
that what he was asking me to do was totally out of character for me. He still did not answer back, so I resolved to
get the thousand dollars together and play it by ear (go by
the spirit).
When I got to Las Vegas I began to hear my grandfathers voice again and he directed me to Caesars Palace.
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CHAPTER 4
are very soft quiet voices that have always given me what
I would call my highest thought. (Never have I heard
any voice that was harsh, cruel, or mean. Many people
claim they hear harsh voices, but for me it has never
happened.) It took me a lot of practice and time before I
could learn to distinguish these voices. When you learn
to feel who is talking, you will also begin to recognize
the light that emanates from that individual. The only
way I can distinguish these voices is by their frequency
or intensity. This, as I mentioned before, seems to be
distinct to each individual.
I also found that the more I experienced these
frequencies the easier it was to gauge the level or quality
of light or enlightenment coming from the speaker. To my
great surprise, I was able to think back on earlier experiences (like the one with Robert Benson) and re-measure
or re-experience the light others are giving off. This
ability to look back and see the light is a two-edged sword.
On the one hand it has been helpful to know what level
of light is coming from someone giving me information,
but on the other hand I found myself judging those who
were speaking by their level of light, and putting them in
boxes or giving them labels that I afterwards discovered
in myself.
Later on in my history Ill share with you an experience
showing just how embarrassing seeing yourself for who you
really are can be. For now, if you are comfortable with this
technique; practice it on a daily basis. If you find that you
have a hard time concentrating on nothing try it for a
shorter period. When I first started, one minute seemed like
forever, but with a little work I could soon go into this space
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CHAPTER 5
C hrist in My Life
Some time around September of 1993, after I had
had several voice communications with my grandfather
and seen his physical appearance in the car, I had another
pleasant but startling apparition at home.
One morning as I was getting ready to take a shower,
I could again distinctly feel the presence of my grandfather. Dismissing the feeling and not hearing anyone speak,
I simply pulled the shower curtain back with my left hand
and started to step into the shower when I saw my grandfather standing half way through the shower curtain! He
looked like his usual pleasant self with a smile that left me
relaxed but a little unnerved.
Here I was, buff naked, shocked at sharing my shower.
Without even thinking I said, Grandfather, dont you have
any respect? And he said Mike, we see everything you
do. I knew that statement alone would change my life,
and I told him that I didnt think I would tell my wife what
he said. I could see by the smile on his face that he knew
where I was going with this one!
Again my grandfather gave me information to help
his family. He spoke of my grandmother and told me that
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(I will skip the details of these places but give you the basics
of the message.)
The places were both dark and light, and as I saw
people in these places I could tell what light was coming
from them. We walked down a road where I could see a
group of eight young men coming towards us. These young
boys, about the ages of 14 and 15, were playing together
and laughing back and forth. I noticed immediately that
none of these boys felt left out. They each felt love from
the others and none of the boys wanted anything but for
each one to feel a part of the group.
Having worked with young men this age for many
years I was shocked at how mature they seemed to be with
regards to how they treated each other. It made me want to
be a part of what they were like and live as they were living.
(During this whole process I could still see myself lying on
the bed and being here with these boys at the same time
kind of strange to feel that I was in two places at once.)
I approached the boys and made the statement, I
used to work with young men about your age.
One of the boys turned to me and said, Yes we know,
we have worked with those same young men.
His statement took me off guard and I wondered
how it was that he could have worked or even known the
boys I had been with. I still dont know exactly how this
worked, but I felt no need to question the truthfulness of
what he said.
This same young man then said, We are here to show
you the love of Christ. They then formed a circle around
me maybe ten feet in diameter, with each of the boys facing
in toward me. Their hands were down to their sides with
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CHAPTER 6
Teachings of Christ
Jesus was with me continually after the experience of
standing in His love and light. I found that when I awoke
in the morning I could hear His voice and He would tell me
what He had planned to teach me that day, if I was willing
to take the time to listen to Him. How can one resist such
a teacher! It became easy to concentrate on Him and then
feel His presence and receive direction for the day.
One time we went through the Sermon on the
Mount together and He explained what it was that He was
trying to say. It was enjoyable and enlightening to receive a
perspective on the scriptures from Him.
I found that most of our conversations revolved around
everyday type of things that were affecting my life.
One time He told me about why it was so important
to develop spirituality now, while I was still in the flesh.
He said that there were three main drawbacks to trying to
progress in the Spirit World.
First, you no longer have a physical body to help you
overcome the flesh or physical things. His list of physical
addictions included alcohol, drugs, sex, and food, all of which
are not present in the same form in the Spirit or Spirit World.
He said that overcoming the flesh is essential to
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that you can feel of the depth and the new twist He seemed
to put on everything we talked about. Sometimes this
didnt occur with Him telling me something as much as it
did by going through the motions of the experience.
For example, one night I went into the bathroom and
while I was responding to natures call, Jesus started to talk
to me. We conversed for several minutes, and then I left
the bathroom and proceeded to get ready for bed. All of
my life I had been taught to pray before I got in bed. As I
knelt down by the bed I began my usual routine of prayer.
Now I am probably not too much different than others
who have tried to talk to God on a regular basis. Some of
my praying has been very repetitious, but I have attempted
for the most part to be original and sincere.
On this occasion as I knelt down I began my normal
thanks for this, and thanks for that, when suddenly I realized I had just performed the greatest mockery or hypocrisy
of my life! Just minutes before I had been having this two
way conversation with the Lord and now I was acting as
though that had not happened! Or that the other conversation was make believe and now I was really going to talk to
God because I was in the right position: on my knees!
My feeling of embarrassment I find hard to put into
words. How could I, in the space of just a few minutes,
have turned my back on the conversation we had just had.
Oh how terrible I felt.
As soon as this Ive let them down feeling, came
upon me, I heard His voice again say, Dont be so
hard on yourself, we all learned it the same way. Then
there was a roar of laughter from the other side as they
all enjoyed the learning I was going through. I was glad
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CHAPTER 7
C hrists Life
Of all that I have written in my history, what I am
about to share with you next will probably be the most
controversial and polarizing.
While in conversation with the Lord, I asked Him
why it was that so few seemed to really know Him and
understand Him. He said the question was easy Those
who believed in Him put Him on too high a pedestal.
Most of us have been taught that Jesus was and is perfect.
The truth here is that He obtained perfection. Nothing
was given to Him. He earned it by the things which He
suffered or experienced, both spiritually and physically.
I shall spell it out for you even more plainly.
Jesus made mistakes, but He overcame every one of them.
That is why He is the way to the Father. That is why He can
relate to every problem or experience that you go through. He
can say with confidence, Been there, done that.
His ability to see, correct, and perfect is only overshadowed by His ability to help you do the same. He learned
to see himself in His perfection and see everyone else the
same. When you can see yourself in that same perfection
you cannot be kept from it.
When He said that we will do greater things than He
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did, He meant it. But how many people truly believe that?
How many truly believe that they can become one with the
Lord and the Father?
So long as you keep putting yourself down, and Jesus
out of reach, that is exactly where you will be. As He told
me these things, the warmth of His spirit led me to know
that He had gone through it just like I was going through
it. That is why we feel so close to Him. It is left up to us
to recognize it. It is also the reason why people feel His
closeness and a sense of familiarity with Him that is hard
for them to explain.
One more important point I will make here and again
later: Seek this Jesus, learn to know Him, follow His direction and send forth the love that He exhibits.
While working with the Lord, I came across the
scripture in John 5:39 which says, Search the scriptures;
for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they
which testify of me. I had read this scripture dozens of
times and had listened to many lessons in church services
which were focused around this very theme. Although I
had read this often, somehow the instructors and I had
failed to read the very next verse. It says: And ye will not
come to Me, that ye might have life. Jesus was giving the
very answer of how to have life come to Him!
You can search the scriptures all you want and think
that you will have eternal life, but until you know the Lord,
you are not there. What you are gaining in this life is the
ability to generate the same intensity of light and love that
He does.
To put it in new age talk, your vibrational rate
increases until it is at the level of the Lords. (1 John 3:2
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hole is custom made to hold you and nothing else. That fit
is so tight that by the time you get through, you know that
you are standing completely naked before your maker.
No earthly experience has prepared you for what it
feels like to have every thought and action you have ever
had in your life exposed and in plain view.
Thank goodness there is no feeling of judgment being
placed on you from that divine source! You are doing that
yourself without any need for more. This is what it means to
know God. To turn your life over completely to Himand
realize that He now gives back to you all that you thought
you were sacrificing, for it means nothing to you any more.
There really is no sacrifice, for this implies loss, and there
is no loss with God.
You can now stand with Peter and emanate the Light
that he does; for your offering has been equal to his. Every
soul that stands with God had to do it in the same manner.
The only shortcut there is will be found in your own mind.
When you decide to let go and let God, it will all happen.
All those who are in the upper part of the hourglass
know the mind change that each has made, for they have
made it in the same way.
The circumstances will vary for all of us, but the
complete letting go will not.
I remember so fervently praying, Lord, take away
from me everything that is keeping me from seeing you.
My request had helped strip me of every item that was
standing between me and God. And I thank God that He
gently broke my fingers on a few of those that I was not
willing to release on my own.
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CHAPTER 8
Earthquake Prediction
During November and December of that same year
another interesting thing happened. People I did not know
began showing up at my office to talk. I was doing radio
talk show interviews about the book Life in the World
Unseen and I suppose that many of them came in initially
to talk about life after death. For some the topic would
change to dreams and visions that they were receiving.
These dreams were often about the destructions that would
come in the last days. Most of these people lived along the
Wasatch Front in Utah, so naturally what they saw was in
that general area. After three or four people came in with
the same story I became curious as to why these people
were coming and sharing these things with me.
When I inquired about it to the Lord, He said, Many
people have been seeking to know what shall befall this
area, and they are receiving answers to their prayers. We
are bringing them to you so that you will have a second
witness to what you saw in your dream.
After that I started to keep track of how many people
I talked to during those months that had specifically seen
the destruction in this area. Although each saw it from
their own point of view, I found it fascinating to compare
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CHAPTER 9
Receiving Records
During this somewhat serene time, people began to
come to me with records. These were not ancient plates
or writings that needed to be translated; they were simply
writings that had been given to men and women from
many different sources and many walks of life.
The way that I received each record was different, but
the stories behind them were similar and went something
like this. Someone would come to me and say, I have
been directed to give you this record. If I asked them
why, they would usually say, I dont know, I was just told,
(or directed or felt) to give it to you.
Being raised in the LDS environment, new scripture
or new revelation has always been an accepted part of God
speaking to man. The Mormon Churchs main cornerstone
of religious understanding comes from an ancient record
that was translated by the founder of the church, Joseph
Smith. This record called The Book of Mormon left
two thirds untranslated because Joseph was told that the
people were not ready to receive it; but that in time the full
record would come forth.
This mystery of when the rest of the book would come
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CHAPTER 10
again and see how I was really trying to dodge what I knew
was going to happen.
Picking it up, I closed my eyes and began to slowly
thumb through its pages. Trying to feel guided, I found
myself trapped between wanting to do it my Fathers way and
wanting an answer that wouldnt be too hard to live with.
As I think about it now I have to chuckle at my apprehension and my desire to control the outcome. Letting
my mind glide into that now state of communication
with my Father, I let my fingers drift to the right hand
page about one third of the way through the book. Then
I moved my hand to the left hand column on that page
and came down about one inch from the top. Holding that
spot, I opened my eyes and began to read: And again how
beautiful upon the mountain are the feet of those who
shall hereafter publish peace, yea from this time henceforth and forever! It was a quote from Isaiah and one of
only three places where publishing is talked about in all
the scriptures.
Leaving my finger in that spot I closed the book and
my eyes. As I did so, a lovely peaceful relaxed feeling began
to sweep over me, enveloping my whole being. Basking in
this love of the Spirit, tears began to fall from my face,
and I was given strength from God that I had not had
before. It was as though hands were placed on my head
and a power was exchanged from my creator. The same
assurance I had received while standing in the blue light
five months earlier passed over me again, although not
nearly as intense as it was then.
In some miraculous way only known to God and
those who have experienced it, I was given the strength
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CHAPTER 11
Disciplinary Action
About a week later, two of the men that I had worked
very closely with in the church, came to my door with a
summons for me to attend the church Disciplinary Counsel.
I could see that they were not excited about giving me this
letter, and that they were feeling very awkward to be the
ones to come and deliver it.
I tried to relieve the tension by saying that this would
be fun, but they wouldnt have it. I could see that their
hearts were pained by what they had been asked to do,
and the word fun was definitely the wrong word to use
under these circumstances. It was much too flippant for
what they deemed as such a sacred and important matter.
I took the letter and told them that I would be sure and
be there.
I must admit to this point I really felt that I had a very
good chance of going through this meeting and coming
out with my church membership still intact. After all, I
was just a publisher, like hundreds of other publishers,
who have published any number of items that havent gone
exactly down the party line. I still expressed my love for
the church and its leaders and my support of them.
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and took our seats to the right of the Stake President and
his councilors.
After a brief introduction from the Stake President
as to why he had called this meeting, he turned to me and
asked if I would explain to the men seated in the room, the
book that I was publishing.
I told them that in order to understand the origins of
the book, they would need a little explanation about my
life and what had brought me to the point of publishing
this book.
I then proceeded to tell them much of what you have
already read thus far. I talked for about fifteen minutes,
when the Stake President jumped into the conversation
and said, We dont need to hear about these experiences;
just tell them about the book.
It was hard for me to understand why he would not
want me to give all of the details of my experiences, when it
seemed like these experiences were pivotal to the decision
about something as important as my church membership.
At that point I simply explained that I was publishing
the book to help people get a greater understanding of
God, and told them in general terms how I received the
different parts of the book.
The president opened the meeting to questions and
I fielded several questions from the council. I do not
remember most of the questions; but one question unrelated to the book struck me between the eyes.
A man sitting just to the right of me turned and asked,
Do you claim to have seen the Savior?
I said, No, I have not seen the Savior, but I know His
voice and the voice of the Father.
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CHAPTER 13
The Garments
Just prior to my going on a mission for the Mormon
Church, I had gone to the temple for the first time. When
you go through the temple on your first visit, you make
covenants or contracts with God to be obedient to His
will, and I took these covenants very seriously.
At the same time you make these commitments to
God, you put on a garment or underclothing that is to
remind you of the covenant you have made with deity. The
church teaches that the garment is to remain with you the
rest of your life, and represents the clothing Adam and Eve
put on when they found themselves naked in the garden
after partaking of the forbidden fruit.
Sadly it has also become a way for members to judge
others. Regrettably, I did this myself. I found when I was
out of town or in an area where I didnt know anybody;
I would look and see if I could tell if any of the people
around me were Mormon by seeing if they were wearing
garments. To tell you this now seems bizarre and ridiculous, but it was a way of finding someone with familiar
thinking. I am certain that I was not alone in this practice.
And I am equally as certain I felt myself better than those
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with God, and that is that you must give up any thinking
process that is not like Gods.
There are really no absolutes with regard to the steps
a person will (should) take to enjoy the peace of our Father
in Heaven, but we each manufacture a bunch of them so
that we can feel we are more correct than someone else.
The truth is we are all equal.
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CHAPTER 14
Seminary Teacher
As the next few weeks rolled on I had many new
experiences that seemed to come, one right after another.
At this time in my life my two oldest children were in high
school and both of them were enrolled in LDS seminary.
This is a daily release time activity that is funded and
provided by the Mormon Church. As I grew up I found it
to be a great place to learn about the scriptures and have
always encouraged my children to participate, if they felt
so inclined.
At the time of my excommunication, my son Josh was
taking seminary at Wasatch High School, and his seminary
teacher lived not far from our home. His teacher soon heard
about my parting with the church and began to ask my son
questions about what had happened. This teacher was so
curious about why I was no longer a member, that he asked
Josh if I would speak to him about it. My son knew that I
was still a bit timid about sharing what happened to me but
he arranged for the two of us to get together and talk.
This proved to be a very enjoyable experience for
me, and I believe for the teacher. Knowing that we were
together to talk about why I had been excommunicated, he
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CHAPTER 15
Blessings
Some time in September of this same year I received
a phone call from a woman in Idaho who had also been
going down a very enlightening spiritual path. Like me,
she had grown up in the LDS church and had been asked
to serve in many positions.
At the time of our conversation she was working at the
Idaho Falls Temple and she told me of a very intriguing experience that she had while serving there. The spiritual experience she went through in the temple so changed her life, and
was so out of the norm; she found it difficult to share with
others. To protect this persons privacy I shall call her Cathy.
She explained to me she had never sought to be
different or special, and she was apprehensive as to why
she had gone through what she had.
As we talked I could hear my Father speaking to me at
the same time I was speaking to Cathy. He said, Ask her
about her authority.
This seemed a little out of the norm for me but I
figured there must be a reason for my Father to say such
a thing, so I kind of half asked and stated. You have
authority given to you from God dont you?
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CHAPTER 16
Tranquility
Sometime between the September blessing from
Cathy and Christmas of 1994, my wife and I were invited
to a friends home for a chat. I needed to transact some
business in Salt Lake so we went downtown before heading
over for our visit.
With my business transaction completed my wife
asked if we could stop along the way so that she could use
a restroom. I spotted a McDonalds just ahead and we
pulled in, parking so that we were about 30 feet from the
front door.
Before I could get out and open the door for my wife
she was in the parking lot and I was trailing several yards
behind her. Her brisk walk left me still 20 feet behind her
when she went through the front door.
As I tried to close the distance between us I noticed a
man approaching from my left. His hair was a bit unkept
and his clothes looked rather drab, but he had a smile on
his face, which had a calming reassuring sparkle to it. The
closer I got to the door the closer he got as well. He reached
the opening before I did and then stopped between me
and the door.
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CHAPTER 17
Speaking in Tongues
As life proceeded to get more and more interesting,
I found that a lot of the old gifts of the Spirit that I had
read about in the New Testament were still being exercised by people that manifested enough faith to make
them happen. This was one of the things that had really
puzzled me and seemed frustrating when I was in search
for the greater Light I knew was out there at the start of
my spiritual awaking.
Of all of the gifts, as described by Paul the Apostle, the
least of these is the gift of tongues. It had always intrigued
me even as a young boy when I first heard my great grandmother say that she had witnessed the speaking in tongues
many times as a young girl in church.
She said that in a testimony meeting one person would
get up and speak in a language that was not immediately
understood by the congregation. Then another person
would stand and give the interpretation of the speaker.
These things were done as a Witness of the Spirit, and
felt by all that were there in the meeting. Why these things
dwindled out of existence in our modern day meetings is
an area I dont want to speculate on, but I found it uplifting
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CHAPTER 18
Exercises in Faith
Some have wondered, and rightly so, what faith really
is, or how does it work? I had pondered this question many,
many times throughout my life and looked at it from what
I felt was every possible angle. Because it is the basic foundation for a belief in God and anything else that is not
seen, I have always wondered just what makes it work or
how it functions. Why do some people seem to exhibit a
great deal of faith and others none at all?
This question has probably baffled theologians more
than any other throughout history. For myself I came to
the conclusion that faith is one of those things that you
can sometimes see or observe in others, but may be difficult to create or build in your own life.
The reason I found it to be this way is that as soon as
I found myself exercising faith in something that seemed
unnatural to the way the world looked at it, it would become
a natural occurrence to me, and I would no longer look at
it as something that wasnt normal.
This meant that I would have to step out again beyond
that point and exercise faith a little farther beyond where I
was. The cycle continues to this day. It seems that faith is
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One side note here that I also use with the genie idea
is to keep it open ended. That is to say, that if someone
needs this space more than I do, then I would like them
to have it. My Father sees a larger picture than I do and I
am happy to set my will aside if it is for a higher good to
another person.
Moving from these simple exercises in faith you can
try one that takes a bit more concentration. This exercise
we call Making Clouds Disappear. To do this you simply
concentrate on a small cloud and in your mind spread it
out or disperse it into the larger space that is around it.
It will surprise you how fast you can vaporize the
cloud to the point that it can no longer be seen. The same
thing can happen in reverse. If you want a cloud to appear
you simply gather the moisture in a large area and bring it
together until it condenses in a smaller area that makes the
cloud visible. As an exercise this works well, but you will
find that it can happen a lot faster and on a bigger scale if
there is a real need or necessity to have it manifest.
In other words, the emotion that you have behind
your intent will strengthen your ability to make it happen.
If a loved one is in need and you can feel their true want
and desire to be blessed through faith, your intent is
heightened or enhanced. The fact that there are two of
you putting forth the effort also adds to your ability to
make it happen.
You may recall that Jesus at one time, when he had
come from the North Country, said that He could do no
miracles among them for they had no faith. Even as great
as He was at exercising faith it still took a combined faith
to make things happen in others lives.
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can see this clearly then it is easy to step out and do. I try
to keep this motto in mind: Do what you know to do and
if you dont know, dont do.
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CHAPTER 19
Jenny
This writing has been about 12 years in the making. I
basically finished it some where around 2000 and just set
it aside, not being prompted or directed that it needed to
come out yet. As it sat on the shelf I wondered why I had
written it in the first place.
The thought had crossed my mind several times
that it was only to help me remember all that I had been
through. Yet I have been through a lot of experiences that
really have no relevance to others. Hence, I have taken out
about ten-thousand words which seemed to me to be too
controlling or religious in content, and still, as I have read
back through it, I can see the extreme structure that I was
raised in. Somewhere along the path of human existence
we have tried to make the experience of knowing God too
complicated.
After you have your initial spiritual growth spurt,
you will find that things are going to slow down to some
degree. At least the newness wears off and life will
begin to settle out and back into somewhat of a routine,
although you will never be the same or see the world in
the same way that you have.
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Jordan struggled with life and relationships. His personality was one that seemed to shut the world out no matter
how hard you tried to get to know him.
Jenny said, Dad, he is so full of life and smiles and
jokes. You would not recognize him.
I said Oh Jenny, I am so glad. Ill be sure and tell his
parents. They would love to hear that.
With that Jenny said I love you Dad, and then she
was gone.
It was so good to hear her voice, but I was missing her
and my heart ached for the pain I knew that she was going
through when she was back in her body.
That night I got home and shared the whole story
with my family. It seemed to bring them some peace but
they were still apprehensive of the future.
We visited Jenny the next three days and very little
changed. When she first went into respiratory failure
you could squeeze her and she would move, but as the
days went by she became less and less responsive. On the
third day after her visit with me, we were told by the nurse
that Jenny had made a significant change. These were
the very words Jenny had said to me and they rang in my
ears like someone was beating a drum. Unfortunately the
change was not for the better.
Jenny had contracted pneumonia and her lungs were
filling with fluid. If they didnt keep pumping her lungs free
of the liquid she would drown in her own body fluids.
Her husband finally consented to take Jenny off of
the respirator on Wednesday the 18th of February and four
hours later she just stopped breathing.
A few minutes later I was sitting by her bed with my
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sister on the other side and my dad at the end. Then I had
another one of those experiences that change you forever.
As we sat in silence I looked down at Jennys face and
gave her a kiss on the cheek. Then I heard her speak again,
but the words were not coming from where her body was,
but from her Spirit which was standing next to my dad.
She said, Dad, you are so silly. Thats not me.
As I looked up and saw her, she smiled and started to
chuckle. This brought a smile to my face and I started to
laugh as well. Then I realized that my dad and sister were
not in on the little joke and I must have looked very disrespectful. When Jenny realized this, she laughed the more
and I became even further embarrassed than I already was.
Trying to explain my behavior to my dad wasnt too
hard, but my sister looked at me like I had lost all my
marbles. Still, I knew that Jenny was fine and that she was
now free of the suffering she had been in. Thank you
again Father for the enlightening experiences which have
always brought peace to my heart.
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CHAPTER 20
we recognize it or not. We are the ones that place the limitations on Gods love. We are the ones who keep setting up
the parameters that we think God has to live within. We
are the ones that try to make God exclusively bound to our
religion or our way of thinking.
To define God is difficult because it encompasses so
much. But this I can say, (speaking from my own perspective which I will always admit keeps growing and changing);
My Father in Heaven, the one that I have grown to know
so well, is the creator of the individual known as Mike
Rigby. Each of us is connected to our Creator or Heavenly
Father by a natural unseen bond which is stronger than
any earthly power that exists. This is a bond of love which
from your Fathers side can not be broken nor does He ever
see it as broken. It has always existed and it will continue
to exist forever.
Through my development with my Father I have been
taught that there are many individuals that have progressed
to the point of being able to go home and there participate
in the creation of spirit personalities or spirit offspring,
as my Father did with me. Thus there are many fathers/
mothers in Heaven and not one that I feel more bonded
to than the rest. Each of these beings acts on the same
principles of love or they cannot create as a father/mother
does. At this point we should try to take gender out of the
picture because with all that I have seen, it does not exist
on that level as we know it here.
I have seen that the creation ability of my Father is
directly tied to the amount of Light and Love which he
generates. This Light, like all light, pulses or vibrates, but
at a frequency that is far faster or higher than we in the
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within was the only real way to get a true picture. Having
said that, I am aware that the mosaic I have put together of
Him to you, is my interpretation and I can only hope that
you can see past my human frailties to the true intent.
3. I began to worship Him! This was the longest step
and turned out to be the plateau I find most Christians still
on. So much emphasis has been placed on the man and
His perfectness which of course no one else has that
moving beyond this one is a bigger push than most people
are willing to do.
4. Through worshiping Him, (and letting go of
worship) I felt the peace that His spirit brings! Although
it was always there, it became more intense and I learned to
draw myself into it. By learning to see Him with the same
struggles as you and I have, He taught me confidence that
I could do the same. When you learn to take Him off the
pedestal of perfection He has been placed on, and see Him in
the reality of respect He deserves, things will start to move.
5. I heard His voice! The moment that I passed that
threshold, my life changed forever. At that point I knew
that I could never again trust or follow what others told
me about Himfor I was now drinking from the source of
the spring of life, and not downstream where others had
muddied the water. He expanded my understanding and
my learning accelerated by 100-fold.
6 I felt His Love! This is the same as His peace only
much more intense and unforgettable. Although there is
nowhere we can go or be where God is not, when you feel
his love you will instinctively know He is nearby.
7 I felt His form! Here I placed my arms around Him
and we hugged as two long parted friends for indeed we
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