The Art of Making Friends

Kajal Malik

One of the earliest forms of performance is the, apparently, simple act of making a friend.
This can be thoroughly planned before the act or just done spontaneously when one finds
someone worth befriending. Imagine a young child starting school for the first time. They are
leaving the comfort of their family and are being placed in an environment where they do not
know anyone. It is very natural to seek companionship when a person is alone. There is a sense
of solidarity and comfort in sharing experiences with another person. This is where the
performance startsthe child acts in a certain way in order to be pleasing to others so that they
will notice them and want to be friends with them. As Woodruff stated, Theater is the art of
finding human action worth watching.1 The child is deciding how he/she needs to act and will
wonder what these potential friends or watchers will think of them. The child is putting on a
show for those watching so that the watchers find the child worth their time. Those potential
friends are then experiencing a performance that may be the best parts of the child shining
through, or a performance to exaggerate the similar qualities they both may have in common.
Interacting with others, talking to them, and attempting to befriend them is all a
performance one puts on. When a person meets someone for the first time, they will act more
tame and moderate in order to not seem too extreme in their actions. They tread lightly and try to
connect with the person in any way they can so that they can claim a similarity with the person
they are trying to befriend. One can even claim that the person is hiding their true self and
putting on a faade in order to win anothers friendship. Engaging with a person and talking to
them is something that can be observed by the other person involved. They are deciding if they
want to continue listening and interacting with this person, and if this potential friendship might
benefit them.2
If the first encounter is pleasant and favorable to both parties, they might agree to meet
again in order to further the budding potential friendship. At this point, both parties involved are
putting on a show for the other person. Making oneself interesting and finding another person
interesting is an art and constitutes performance.3 Both persons would most likely try to seem
interesting and exciting to the other so that the other person would want to invest more time in
the friendship. Because of the acting both people do and the watching that both people do,
attempting to make friends is one of the simplest and earliest forms of theatre experienced by
people, starting from when they are very young.

The Art of Making Friends

Kajal Malik
1. Woodruff, Paul, The Necessity of Theatre: The Art of Watching and Being Watched,
Oxford: Oxford University, (9/16/15), pp. 22.
2. ibid, pp. 18.
3. ibid, pp. 5.