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Communicate from your Core

Why First Impressions

Matter...
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You never get a second chance to make

a first impression - so make it count!

A Step-By-Step Guide To Making The Right

First Impression In A Meeting Or Interview

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Introduction
Welcome to Why First Impressions Matter - A Step-By-Step
Guide To Making The Right First Impression In A Meeting Or
Interview

If, like me, you've ever been disappointed at not being successful
in a job interview or prospective client meeting...if you're
frustrated at not knowing why or what you could have done
differently to improve the results your getting...or if you'd just like
to know how to make a lasting and positive first impression - then
you've come to the right place.

In this report I'm going to show you everything you need to know,
in step-by-step detail about the key factors that often make the
difference between success and failure in an interview or
meeting. I'll show you exactly what to do in those first few crucial
seconds of a meeting and how you can make a positive and lasting
impression in an interview.
But most importantly you will learn something invaluable,
something you can use to improve the instant connections you
make with people not just in job interviews, prospective customer
meetings, networking events but also in your personal
relationships. You'll gain a precise understanding of what truly
influences people in those first vital seconds of a meeting. Once
you understand and apply these invaluable principles then there's
no limit to how successful you can be in your next meeting or
interview.
Probably about 95% of people make the same mistakes I made all
those years ago - don't become one of these statistics!

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Who Am I?
Before we get started you might be wondering about who I am
and why you should listen to me in the first place.
I've been a consultant for the past 10 years working specifically in
the area of interpersonal communication. I've worked with a wide
variety of clients from business start ups to some of the biggest
companies in the world. My coaching and strategies have helped
my clients win thousands and thousands of dollars worth of
business, save thousands and thousands of dollars worth of costs
but crucially I have helped some of the brightest and best
accelerate their careers to some of the most senior positions in
some of the biggest companies in the world.
Why Listen To Me?
I'll be very straight with you. There's only one reason why you
should listen to me, or anyone else that offers advice and
information to you and that's because the strategies I teach and
employ in my own business get's results for my clients.
Some people claim to have a wealth of knowledge, may have
written many books on the subject of communication and
influence, even have PhD's in the subject but ask them to show
you the results they get for their clients and they can't.
I invest a lot in books, training courses and literature but I am very
particular about what I spend my money on. Unless the material is
practical, easy to implement and gives me step-by-step guides to
follow - I won't invest in it and I wouldn't expect you to either.
So here are just some of the practical results my clients have
experienced as a direct result of working with me and applying my
strategies and techniques. The very same strategies you can begin
to use straight away.
2010 Aled Davies All Rights Reserved

1. Against all the odds a promotion that resulted in my client

doubling his income overnight.
My client had been working for the same employer for 8 years,
slowly making his way up the career ladder. His ambition was to
become a partner in his firm. It was a very competitive field and
many of his peers had similar aspirations to him, they all wanted
the status that came with being a partner but most of all they
wanted the income and security as well. 12 months previously
he'd gone through all the interviews, jumped through all the
hoops only to find out he didn't make the cut. But what was
worse he was told he just didn't have what it takes and that as far
as they were concerned he'd reached his full potential.
As you can probably imagine he was devastated, especially
because he saw some of his peers (who probably weren't as bright
or academically able as him) go through and become partners.
12 months later, after working with me and putting the strategies
and techniques into action his bosses started noticing changes in
his behaviour to the extent that they gave him one last chance.
Now to put this into perspective - no one had ever failed the
partnership interviews and been invited back a second time, so as
far as he was concerned this was an amazing achievement in
itself.
But there was more success coming his way!
'...working with Aled, changed my whole approach to influencing and opened
my eyes to the small things that were holding me back. The proof was in the
pudding though - I sailed through the partner interviews, all 5 stages and out
of 60 applicants I came in the top three! I think I proved a point, oh and
doubled my income!' David West, Partner in a Big 4 Accountancy Firm

2010 Aled Davies All Rights Reserved

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2. How a change in approach helped recover over 10,000 in

outstanding bills from a difficult customer.
We've all experienced an awkward or difficult customer in our
lives and if we could chose we'd rather not do business with them.
But what do you do when they give you 40% of your business?
My client had a customer who personified the customer from hell,
he never paid on time and disputed every single bill his company
received. he also took advantage of the fact that my client's
company was reliant on his business (a position we should never
get into by the way, but that for another day). My client never
looked forward to the meeting and would dread every minute and
always came away dejected. He soon realised why his boss always
sent him to these meetings, because he himself couldn't face the
client from hell! He was under huge pressure to recover these
fees and his job now hinged upon his success at getting his client
to pay up.
He applied some simple but powerful techniques he'd learnt
during our coaching sessions and in the next meeting walked
away with a cheque for the outstanding fees but best of all with
his head held high - he couldn't wait to show his boss the cheque.
It wasn't long before he developed a reputation in his company as
an expert in dealing with difficult customers and with that he
practically became indispensible.
'..I used to get so worked up, I was almost terrified in the lift. I just couldn't
fathom how I would ever get him to agree to pay the fees. I never imagined
for one minute he'd write a cheque on the spot. Sometimes the smallest
things make the biggest difference, these tools without a doubt made the
difference when it counted. Thanks again Aled.' Amar Aggarwal, Account
Director, London

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3. Getting the job of her dreams in a tough economy after being

out of employment for over 12 months
Getting your foot in the door can be a challenge at the best of
times especially when the economy is suffering and more people
are competing for same jobs.
My client had good academic credentials and a pretty good CV but
had been out of employment for over 12 months. In a 3 month
period she attended 16 job interviews and each time didn't
advance past the first stage. She was totally fed up with hearing
that she just 'wasn't the right fit' or reading letters that said;
'...thank you for attending the interview, it was good to meet you but
unfortunately on this occasion we won't be taking your application further.
We wish you the best of luck in the future...'

When I work with a client one of the key things I do is to try and
identify their blind spots. Quite often when we are in influencing
situations we make mistakes without even knowing we're making
them. I call this the DKDK Zone (Don't Know what I Don't Know).
After a series of short coaching sessions with my client we not
only identified her blind spots but she was able to learn some
simple strategies to try at her next series of interviews. 3
interviews later she was offered the job of her dreams, which
involved International Travel (not serving coffee) but sitting in
business class!
'...I was really struggling even getting my foot in the door, what was most
frustrating of all was not getting any feedback. So I didn't even know what I
could do differently at the next interview. I really needed to make an impact
and tried out some of the techniques I'd learnt with Aled. The first time felt a
bit different and by the third time the change to my body language seemed
just natural. I'm thrilled! Neysha Ahmen, Consultant Oil and Gas Sector

These results are some of the few results I've helped clients
achieve. The great thing about it is knowing that they are fulfilling
their own potential and not limiting themselves to what others
say.
2010 Aled Davies All Rights Reserved

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Remember more often than not it's the smallest things that make
the biggest difference when it comes to success and failure. In this
report I'll be sharing with you the smallest things that can make
the biggest difference in your career, especially when it comes to
making a positive and lasting first impression.
So How Was I Forced To Develop This And Many Of My Other
Communication Products and Strategies?
Believe me, I often ask myself this question, and I get asked it all
the time. In a nutshell, I've had many interviews for dream jobs
but never got very far with them. I've had many business ideas
that have completely flopped. I started my own business in Africa
and raised some pretty serious venture capital only to watch the
business fail after working long and hard to try and make it a
success.
I knew if I kept on doing what I'd always done then I'd get what
I've always got and frankly if I wasn't prepared to change then as
far as I was concerned I'd deserve everything I got (or didn't get if
you know what I mean).
So I started learning about communication, to begin with in the
area of conflict resolution but as I learnt more about how people
communicated when in conflict and high pressure situations I
started to get more curious about how communication impacted
on us in different aspects of our career and lives.
And I discovered one thing and probably the most important
lesson - the quality of your communication determines the quality
of your life.
All the qualifications and knowledge in the world meant nothing if
you couldn't communicate. And slowly, the more I learnt about
communication, and applied the strategies and techniques I learnt
the better I got, the more I practiced the more I refined what
2010 Aled Davies All Rights Reserved

worked and what didn't work. The better I got, the more
successful I became, in my business and in my personal life. The
more successful I became, the more successful my clients became.
My listening skills improved so I could listen to my clients and
really begin to understand the problems and frustrations they
were experiencing and it became one big self fulfilling prophecy.
But it took me years of searching, practicing and refining these
techniques and strategies to the point now where many of the
things that I teach have become second nature to me.
So I really hope the tools, tips, strategies and techniques that I
share with you along the way help you turn the smallest changes
into the biggest results.

2010 Aled Davies All Rights Reserved

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..Preparation
Success always comes when preparation
meets opportunity
Before you even start thinking about what to say or do in that
meeting or interview, there is so much you can be doing to stack
the deck in your favour before you even leave your home. Being
an effective communicator and making a positive and lasting
impression doesn't just start when you meet someone for the
first time.
The night before an interview or important meeting I would often
spend the vast majority of the evening worrying about what
could go wrong, imagining the meeting being a complete disaster
and just generally panicking. Now you may or may not be going
through similar feelings and thought patterns as me but all I can
tell you is this was a massive waste of my time and emotional
energy.
It's normal and natural for us all to experience some level of
nervousness and anxiety before an important event but when it
starts to preoccupy our thoughts, stops us from having a good
night's rest and generally impacts on the quality of our life then
we need to do something different. But what?
Research
The internet is a wonderful thing and we can research pretty
much anything we want from the comfort of our own home or at
the very least an internet cafe and we can do this very quickly.
One of the things that frustrates most clients and interviewers is
when someone arrives and it's obvious they haven't done any
preparation. That might be something as simple as knowing some
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of the history of the company, some of the challenges they are

facing or something current about the industry in general. Yet I'm
always surprised at how many people fail to do this simple task.
Spending 30 minutes of focused research on the company or the
individual you're meeting before you turn up will accomplish 3
things;
1. You'll feel more confident going into the meeting, and we can
all do with a bit more confidence, right?
2. It gives you some material to discuss with your interviewer or
client and helps to build rapport. This is the least they'll expect
but I can guarantee most people won't have done this simple
task. When you carry out your research come up with 3 questions
or talking points for your meeting.
For example; let's say you had an interview with a publishing
company and you discovered that more people were
downloading eBooks than actually buying hard copy books - you
could say something like;
'I noticed that sales in hard copy books are decreasing year on year, how is
this affecting your business / recruitment drive etc..?'

Turning your knowledge into a question demonstrates your

awareness and interest at the same time. Easy to do and easy not
to do!
I even research the individual I'm meeting and try to find out as
much about them as possible, again you could say something like;
'Dev, I read in XYZ publication that you thought the outsourcing industry
would grow rapidly over the next 18 months , what challenges do you think
such rapid growth might bring this company?'

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Again you are demonstrating awareness and interest but on this

occasion Dev will feel that his ego has been stroked and that
implicit in your question is 'Dev, I'm really impressed that you've
written some editorial commentary in XYZ publication.'
3. Finally you just become more productive. Rather than spend
your time worrying about the meeting, you put your time and
energy to good use in addition to building up your knowledge and
awareness of industry related issues.
Appearance
This might be obvious to most people but you'd be surprised how
many people arrive at meetings and interviews dressed
inappropriately. This doesn't mean you have to go out and spend
your hard earned money on a designer wardrobe. Never under
dress for a meeting or interview. I always wear a shirt, tie, suit
and shoes to every first meeting or interview. People will never
disapprove if you are over dressed for an occasion but they will if
you under dress and arrive in sandals, jeans and a t-shirt! Make
sure your clothes are clean and pressed and get everything ready
the night before.
You'll just feel more confident and comfortable if you look the
part.
Punctuality
I am never late for a meeting. I don't have any time for people
that are late and offer me excuses, my clients are all exactly the
same. You set a massive expectation when you are punctual, you
also do the same when you are late.
I make sure I allow enough flexibility in my diary to arrive 30
minutes early for meetings, I'll find a coffee shop or somewhere
to sit and read just around the corner from my meeting place. I'll

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often print out any research I find on the company or individual

and bring it along with me, I then spend that 25 minutes prior to
the meeting reading through my research and coming up with
those three key questions. The last 5 minutes I spend walking the
short distance to my meeting place, so that I arrive at the
reception 2-3 minutes early. That's what I call being punctual.
So just to recap:
Don't spend your time worrying, invest it wisely. Do your
research and come up with 3 interesting questions for your
prospect or interviewer - start to build rapport.
Look your best - Make sure you're dressed for the
occasion, dress up not down. (for my very first interview I
borrowed my friends suit and a tie from my father - I cringe
when I look back at this interview!)
Don't be on time - be early. Be 30 minutes early, and arrive
at the front desk with at least 3 minutes to spare before
the agreed time - stay relaxed and sharp.
Remember one thing

WHEN YOU FAIL TO PLAN YOU PLAN TO FAIL

OK, you're now ready for that critical first introduction and here's
where it gets really interesting...

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Powerful Introductions
If you deliberately plan on being less than you are
capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be
unhappy for the rest of your life. Abraham Maslow Psychologist & Author
Every moment of interaction is an opportunity to influence and
there is none more important than that very first introduction.
Bestselling author Malcolm Gladwell wrote a book titled Blink.
According to his research he concluded that we all make snatch
judgements and form instantaneous opinions about other people
in the blink of an eye. We determine whether we like them, can
trust them, can believe them. We also make a decision about
whether we think they are competent or not.
Think about this, it doesn't really matter whether you are or
aren't competent, what matters is whether they think you are
competent - based almost entirely on that first three second
blink. There are some exceptions of course such as if you want to
become an astronaut but you failed your Physics and
Mathematics and have a fear of flying. But we're not talking
about astronauts, we're talking about getting the slight edge and
making that positive first impression.
When I read his book, all the pieces started to fall together. I used
to wonder how some people, less qualified or able than I, would
get promotions or jobs that I had previously been turned down
for. I'd wonder how some people would persuade their business
manager to give them a business loan when their last two
companies went bankrupt. It even got me thinking about how in a
large room full of people, some people just seemed to hit it off
and make successful business connections with others.

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Getting your introduction right can change the entire landscape

beyond that first three seconds.
So let's breakdown that first three seconds - because that's what
we're talking about right. 3 small seconds that can make the
difference between success and failure.
Body Language
Back in the 1960's and 1970's there were two famous studies that
I know of carried out by two psychologists called Birdwhistle and
Mehrabian. They were studying the way people communicated
with each other and the relative importance of each different
aspect of their communication.
The results were staggering. Approximately 90% of the
communication was non verbal and less than 10% verbal. In other
words people automatically, without thinking, attributed more
importance to the body language than of the other less
important aspect of communication, namely the words they were
using. All of which backs up Malcolm Gladwells Blink theory.
So let's just put this into perspective.
If you've got 3 seconds to make an impact and 90% of that impact
is down to your non-verbal communication then that means
you've got less than 3 seconds to make your impact and all before
you've even opened your mouth! I know it doesn't quite work out
that way but I remember thinking long and hard about what I was
going to say in that opening introduction and even more time
thinking about what I was going to say in the meeting. It didn't
cross my mind that the other person would be making their mind
up about me based on what I wasn't saying.
But to control what goes on on the outside - you need to control
what goes on on the inside. I'll come onto that in a moment, but

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let's just take a look at what you're trying to accomplish in that

initial 3 seconds.
The Rule of 3
In those vital first 3 seconds your goal is to accomplish 3 things;
1. First you want to create a positive impression.
2. Second you want to be able to represent yourself at your
best.
3. And finally you want to establish a connection with the
other person.
So there's a lot to do and very little time to do it in, which when
you think about, has got to be to your advantage.
Controlling What Goes On Inside
I don't know about you but normally before an interview or
important meeting I used to feel very nervous and anxious,
desperately wanting to make the right impression. But if I'm
feeling anxious or nervous can you imagine what the expression
on my face looked like?
There's a very good chance that if you are feeling nervous or
anxious then the expression on your face and other body
language indicators would give this away - if you weren't aware of
it.
The good news is now that you are aware of it then there are
things that you can control to ensure that in those first 3 seconds
you come across as a confident, relaxed and alert individual- this
is probably the picture you'd rather paint for the other person;
someone who's confident, relaxed and alert.

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It's the most obvious thing to suggest, yet time and again when I
observe people in these situations they actually look nervous and
anxious so much so they even forget to smile!
Reframing
If you imagine a beautiful picture of a landscape with a stunning
sunset hanging on the wall but the frame that surrounds the
picture is old, decrepit and generally pretty ugly to look at. This is
likely to affect your perspective of the picture within the frame.
However, the very same picture displayed in a new, clean,
contemporary frame will be much more enjoyable to look at.
You haven't changed the picture - just the frame.
Reframing is an incredibly powerful technique you can use to
start to influence the way you think about and perceive an event,
to the extent that it directly affects your emotions, behaviour
and results.
Let me give you an example, I was recently driving to a client
meeting, naturally I allowed myself enough journey time to arrive
well ahead of the scheduled time. En route to their offices I took
a wrong turn and got completely lost, which you might imagine
could be quite frustrating. You're right it was, I started to panic thinking that I'd be late (you know how I feel about punctuality).
Immediately I noticed myself feeling anxious and worried - it was
a familiar feeling but I've learnt to pay attention to my feelings
because that's useful information for me.
As soon as I noticed myself feeling anxious, I stopped the car, I
opened the map to see where I'd taken the wrong turn and
calmly figure out the best route to take (I was on a highway so I
couldn't just do a U-turn in the road). I then said to myself; 'how
exciting, I've never driven around this area before, I wonder what
I can learn about this place and also about how I took the wrong
turn'.
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Now for some of you this might sound incredibly strange but
there's a very good reason for this. I knew I had to change my
frame of my mind I knew as soon as I could do this that my
emotions would quickly change from anxiety and panic to
curiosity and calmness - two very useful emotions to feel when
you're lost, by the way! So rather than screaming 'AAAArghh,
YOU IDIOT! Why did you take that wrong turn, you're going to be
late and arrive all stressed.....', I chose to say 'how exciting, I've
never driven around this area before, I wonder what I can learn
about this place and also about how I took the wrong turn'.
Now here's the best bit...
I not only arrived on time (3 minutes early of course) but to my
surprise I discovered on my detour a large lake with lots of people
sailing small boats on it. When I arrived at my client's offices, my
client came down to the reception area to meet me and on the
walk to his office I mentioned the lake and the sail boats, to
which he replied; 'yes that's where I spend my Sunday mornings
sailing my boat'.
We spent the next 10 minutes talking about his passion of sailing,
which gave me a lot of information about him and what
interested him but crucially it put him in a really good mood for
my meeting with him and started to build a good rapport. So
whenever we speak or meet I know exactly what to talk about to
create a positive connection with him.
So imagine yourself sitting in the reception area waiting to meet
your interviewee or client and repeating to yourself;
'I'm really excited about this opportunity and really looking
forward to meeting Mr....., I can't wait to see what I can learn
from this conversation.'

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Just notice how different you're feeling already when you imagine
saying these words.
Now the last part of this sentence '...I can't wait to see what I can
learn from this conversation.' is very important because too often
we just try to get through the experience and say to ourselves 'I
can't wait until this is over'. When we do this we focus our
attention on the outcome and not the process, which means we
potentially switch off to the experience and miss out on potential
opportunities that present themselves during the conversation.
So rather than perceiving these conversations as challenges or
difficulties, by changing the emphasis to a learning conversation
then we'll automatically be more alert and responsive during the
conversation.
This technique is called REFRAMING, and you'll hear me talk
about this a lot.
Reframe- change your perspective to change your life!
So if you want to change your emotion and feel confident,
relaxed and alert before that interview change your perspective
by changing your frame.
Strategies That Work
It would be easy for me to tell you to smile and be confident and
people pay money just to have coaches and consultants tell them
to smile and be confident. But as I said earlier, I am only
interested in giving you strategies and techniques that work
because that's all I'm interested in - the things that work. If you
practice and apply the strategies and techniques they will work
for you.

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Visualisation - Play your favourite movies

If you went to the cinema to watch a movie and the movie turned
out to be a complete flop, so much so that half way through the
movie you got up and walked out, you wouldn't pay to go and see
it again, right? If the movie was that bad I'm guessing you
wouldn't go out and buy the DVD and watch it again, right? Nor
would you watch it again when it came on TV, right?
Now imagine yourself sitting in the reception area waiting for
your client or interviewer to greet you and walk you to their
office for the meeting. You see them approaching and look
nervous and anxious, they walk up to you and as you try to stand
up you drop your papers over the floor so you scramble around
and try to collect them up at the same time they are standing
over you introducing themselves. You gather your papers
together and they extend their hand to shake yours but your
hands are full of papers, so you fumble around and nervously
extend your hand to shake theirs and instead of smiling, making
eye contact and introduce yourself, you act apologetically and
look around to see what else is lying around that you'll need to
gather up.
Now I know that probably wouldn't happen but if you're like me I
bet you've imagined this scenario or something similar happening
in those crucial first 3 seconds of an important meeting.
Don't worry it's perfectly normal - it's just not helpful that's all.
We all run movies in our minds of events that have happened in
the past, it is normal and natural. We also run movies in our
minds of events that are yet to happen and sometimes those
movies are positive ones and sometimes they are negative ones.
The challenge for us all is when we are anticipating events in the
future that generate higher than normal levels of anxiety (just like

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an interview or important client meeting), the movies that we run

in our minds have a tendency to be negative ones. In other words
we create pictures and movies in our minds of these events being
less than perfect and we run them over and over again.
It's no coincidence by the way, that when we run a negative
movie, the event often turns out to be a bit of a disaster or at the
very least we fail to achieve our desired outcome or get the
results we want.
I won't go into the psychology of this phenomenon right now, I'll
save that for another time. But all you need to know is that
there's a direct correlation between the movies we run in our
minds and the outcomes we experience in life. Top performing
athletes and successful business people have been applying this
knowledge to improve their performance and get the edge on
their competitors for decades- it's called visualisation.
Become a Director of Your Own Movies
Earlier I wrote that it was unlikely you'd ever watch a terrible
movie more than once. So stop running those terrible movies in
your mind before an important event, become a director of your
own movies and run movies and images in your own mind of the
outcome you'd like to experience rather than what you don't
want to experience.
Start to visualise in great detail an important event. Imagine that
next interview or client meeting. Here's how you do it.
Visualisation Technique
Below is a visualisation technique that is easy for you to follow.
Start reading each sentence of this visualisation technique,
slowly. As you read each sentence, close your eyes and imagine
the scene. Open your eyes again and read the next sentence.
Repeat this until you get to the end, When you've reached the
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end pay attention to how you are feeling and notice just how
relaxed and calm you are. Remember to replace my name with
yours!
Imagine yourself sitting in the reception area, see yourself sitting upright, looking alert
and confident.
Notice how relaxed you are also feeling and excited at the prospect of meeting this
person and being given this opportunity to shine and be at your best.
Imagine yourself engrossed in a newspaper or book or browsing through the company
literature or research you did the night before.
Now begin to notice what's going on around you, notice every little detail; the colour
and texture of the furniture you are sitting on, the level of lighting in the room, other
people coming and going around you.
Start to notice the noises around you of people typing, walking, talking, the
background noises of the traffic.
Notice the temperature in the reception area, notice the aromas and smells in the
reception area.
And as you're noticing all this, notice too how relaxed and confident your feeling and
how eager you are to meet your prospect or interviewer.
Now you see him or her approaching you out of the corner of your eye.
You start to fold your paper away and rise out of your chair just as they approach.
You notice their stride pattern and begin to notice a welcoming smile on their face.
You are standing upright, shoulders back , feeling alert and confident and have a
warm smile on your face.
As they get closer you extend your hand out, make eye contact and introduce yourself
with a smile and firm handshake say; "Good morning Mr Jackson, I'm Aled Davies.
I've been really looking forward to meeting you today."

3 seconds later...you're on your way!

Even today I use this visualisation technique to create the ideal
movie, I close my eyes and run the movie over and over adjusting
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the movie until it is perfect and exactly how I want it. I find
closing my eyes helpful when I do this, you mind find that helps
you too.
Before you start to wonder whether you can control the future
with this technique - I'm sorry to say you can't, well not exactly.
The purpose of this exercise is to give you the very best chance at
accomplishing 3 things in those vital 3 seconds;
1. To create a positive first impression.
2. To represent yourself at your best.
3. To establish a connection with the other person.
What you can control is how you think and how you feel. Once
you do this you start to have more control over your emotional
state and when you control your emotional state you will
experience different and better results - I guarantee.
Like any new behaviour, it will feel unusual at first maybe even a
little challenging. At this point it would be easy for you to say,
'you know what this just isn't working' and go and do exactly
what you've always done and yes, you've guessed right - get what
you've always hot. Changing behaviour requires consistent and
disciplined practice. I'm not asking you to climb Everest or run a
marathon - I'm just inviting you to think differently.
The Toolkit
So let's just quickly look back at the road travelled so far in this
guide.
When I hear a so called expert say '...just smile, be confident and
assertive..' my immediate inclination is to ask How? In this guide
I've not only shared with you some of the How To's, but I've
shared practical tools and techniques that work and get proven
results quickly.

2010 Aled Davies All Rights Reserved

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..
..
..
..
..Some people suggest that as long as you 'do the behaviour' then

everything else will follow. I am a firm believer and advocate that

changing your mindset and thinking will lead to quicker more
lasting and fundamentally more congruent results.
What do I mean by more congruent results?
Congruency
This is something I am passionate about and has made the
biggest difference in my success, not just in business but also in
my personal relationships. This stuff can also be perceived by
some conservative individuals as a bit esoteric. So stay with me
for a bit longer as I explain what I mean...

We'd all just like to be ourselves, liberated from the expectations

of others and free to pursue our goals and aspirations that matter
most to us, right (or is that just me!). The biggest challenge and
barrier to this lies in our perceived expectations of what others
think we should and shouldn't be doing.
The result of this is that we end up behaving in a way that is
inconsistent with who we are and who we aspire to be.
When we start to think about how we think, consider what our
values are and explore our core beliefs we start to shape an
identity that is in harmony with our thinking. When we do this we
increase the chances of acting more consistently with our values
and therefore just be ourselves without even trying - now how
does that sound?
Time and again I meet clients who have big aspirations but try
way too hard and their pursuit of success feels like a big effort like walking through thick mud. When they learn how to be
themselves more often, the barriers come down and they get to
where they want to get to in half the time.
2010 Aled Davies All Rights Reserved

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This is what I mean by being congruent.

When you Communicate From Your Core, conversations that
before were tough now become easier. People with whom you've
struggled to connect with in the past, want to connect with you
and the results and successes you've been avidly pursuing come
much easier and sooner. What does all this mean? We are
happier, more content, more secure and more available to
helping others. I know that may sound a bit too heavy but
Communicating From My Core is at the heart of everything I do.
I'll delve more into this at some later point but I wanted to give
you something profound to think about as well as some proven
tips, techniques and tools, so back to the toolkit!
The Toolkit
1. Fail To Prepare, Prepare To Fail

Don't spend your time worrying, invest it wisely. Do your research

and come up with 3 interesting questions for your prospect or
interviewer.
Make sure you're dressed for the occasion, dress up not down. (for
my very first interview I borrowed my friends suit and a tie from my
father - I cringe when I look back at this interview!)
Don't be on time - be early. Be 30 minutes early, and arrive at the
front desk with at least 3 minutes to spare before the agreed time.

2. The Rule of 3 - Remember Your Goals

In those vital first 3 seconds your goal is to accomplish 3 things;
1. First you want to create a positive impression.
2. Second you want to be able to represent yourself at your best.
3. And finally you want to establish a connection with the other person.

2010 Aled Davies All Rights Reserved

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..
..
..
..
..

3. Reframing - Change the frame, not the picture

See challenges and obstacles as opportunities to learn

'I'm really excited about this opportunity and really looking forward to
meeting Mr....., I can't wait to see what I can learn from this
conversation.'

4. Direct Your Own Movies

Visualise in your mind the outcome as you want it and NOT as you
don't want it
Play with the colour, sound, textures, smells and tastes of your movie
until you create that perfect movie
Play it over and over in your mind

5. Communicate From Your Core

Think about how you think

What are YOUR values and beliefs?
Who do you want to be?

New Habits of Mind

Like all the strategies I teach these are all easy to do but they are
also easy not to do. Those that experience success and notice
changes in their communication, their impact and their capacity
to positively influence others, perform the small little disciplines
and techniques on a regular basis until they become new habits
of mind.
BAD HABITS ARE EASY TO FORM BUT HARD TO LIVE WITH,
GOOD HABITS ARE HARDER TO FORM BUT EASIER TO LIVE WITH
GOOD LUCK!

2010 Aled Davies All Rights Reserved

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