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Imam Ahmed's 10 golden advices to his son on his wedding day

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ImamAhmedibnHanbal'sadvicetohissononhisNikkahday:
Dearson,youwillnotattaingoodfortuneinyourhomeexceptby10
characteristicswhichyoushowtoyourwife,sorememberthemand
beenthusiasticinactinguponthem.
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Farida
Mohammed Iliyas
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Asforthefirsttwowomenlikeattentionandtheyliketobetold
clearlythattheyareloved.Sodon'tbestingyinexpressingyourlove
foryourwife.Ifyoubecomelimitedinexpressingyourlove,youwill
createabarrierofharshnessbetweenyouandher,andtherewillbea
decreaseinaffection.
3.Ladieshateastrict,overcautiousman,yettheyseektousethesoft
vulnerableone.Souseeachqualityappropriately.Thiswillbemore
appealingforloveanditwillbringyoupeaceofmind.

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4.Ladieslikefromtheirhusbandswhattheirhusbandslikefrom
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them,i.e.kindwords,goodlooks,cleanclothesandapleasantodour.
Therefore,alwaysremaininthatstate.
5,Indeed,thehouseisunderthesovereigntyofthewoman.Whileshe
remainstherein,shefeelsthatsheissittinguponherthrone,andthat
sheisthechiefofthehouse.Stayclearofdestroyingthiskingdomof
hersanddonoteverattempttodethroneher,otherwiseyouwillbe
tryingtosnatchhersovereignty.Akinggetsmostangryathewho
triestostriphimofhisauthority,evenifheportraystoshow
somethingelse.

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6.Awomanwantstoloveherhusband,butatthesametimeshedoes
notwanttoloseherfamily.Sodonotputyourselfandherfamilyin
thesamescale,becausethenherchoicewillbedowntoeitheryouor
herfamily.Andevenifshedoeschooseyouoverherfamily,shewill
remaininanxiety,whichwillthenturnintohatredtowardsyouin
yourdailylife.
Sakina~:
7.Surelywomanhasbeencreatedfromacurvedrib,andthisisthe
secretofherbeauty,andthesecretoftheattractiontowardsher.And
thisisnodefectinher,because'theeyebrowslookbeautifuldueto
thembeingcurved'.Soifsheerrs,donotrebukeherinamannerin
whichthereisnogentleness,attemptingtostraightenherotherwise
youwillsimplybreakherandherbreaking,isherdivorce.Atthe
sametimedonotletheroffuponthatmistake,otherwiseher
crookednesswillincreaseandshewillbecomearrogantwithherego.
Thereafter,shewillneversoftenforyouandshewon'tlistentoyou,
sostayinbetweenthetwo.
8.Itisinthewomen'snaturetobeungratefultowardstheirhusbands
andtodenyfavours.Ifyouweretobenicetoherforherwholelifebut
yougrievedheronce,shewillsay,"Ihaveneverseenanygoodfrom
you".Sodon'tletthisattitudeofhermakeyoudislikeherortorun
awayfromher.Ifyoudislikethisfeatureofhers,youwillbepleased
withsomeothergoodhabitswithinher,socreateabalance.
9.Surelytherearetimeswhenawomangoesthroughsome
conditionsofbodilyweaknessandfatigueofthemind.Suchthat
Allahhasrelievedherofsomeofhercompulsoryworshipsduringthat
periodAllahhastotallypardonedherfrompraying,andhas
postponedthedaysoffastingforherwithinthisbreaktoalaterdate
untilsheregainsherhealthandbecomesnormalinhertemperament
oncemore.Thus,duringthesedays,treatherinagoodlymanner.
JustasAllahhasrelievedheroftheduties,youshouldalsolessen
yourdemandsandinstructionsfromherduringthosedays.
10.Lastbutnotleast,knowthatawomanislikeacaptivewithyou.
Therefore,havemercyuponher...
MayAllahAzwjlgiveustheabilitytoactthroughthisadvise.Amin.

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Farida Mohammed Iliyas, Feb 29, 2016 Report

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wow!ameennice,plzrefermetothesource,juzeetumkhairanwa
khufeetumsharransister

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Abu Jafar

Abu Jafar, Mar 1, 2016 Report

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@FaridaMohammedIliyasandbrother
@AbuJafar.
Regardingthesource,Ifoundthefollowingonawebsite:
ShaykhDanielofCordobaAcademysaidthefollowingaboutthis
narration:
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Irfan Ullah Khan

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AssalammualaikumalaikumwarahmatUllahwa
barakataHu
EsteemedcolleaguesinseekingtheSacredSciences,

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Itwithaheavyheart,thatIwouldliketostatethattheabove
adviceascribedtoImamAhmedibnHanbal(RA)isincorrectly
ascribedtohim.Ihaveresearchedthroughmanytraditional
worksandhavenotbeenabletofindthisadviceinanyofthem.
Forthetransmissionofthestory,Ireliedsolelyonthesourceof
thetranslatedstorywhichwasthewebsiteofShaikhal
MuhaddithAbdurRaheemalLimbada,afamousteacherof
HadithintheUK.Isawthatbothheandanotherscholarhad
transmitteditandastheadvicewassoundandnotahadithof
ourbeloved(Salahualayhiwasalam)Imadethemistakeof

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postingitwithoutcheckingthesourceinArabic.Uponchecking
thelanguageandexpressionsusedintheArabicsource(which
canbefoundonwebsitesofotherscholarswhomadethesame
mistake)Ihavecometotheconclusionthatitisnotcorrectto
ascribeittotheImamandthatithasprobablybeenfabricated
bysomeonewhohasgoodintentionsinthesamewaythatother
anecdoteshavealsobeenfabricatedandascribedtoImam
AhmedibnHanbal(RA).
JazakAllahkhairanforyourunderstandinginthisaffair,andI
begAllahtoennobleuswithhumilitysothatweareableto
admitourmistakesaswellasenablingustoremainonthepath
ofHaq.
Wassalam
MohammedDaniel
ItseemsthattheArabicsourceishere:
http://www.saaid.net/Doat/brigawi/69.htm
Sothiswouldmeanthatalthoughtheadviceisreallygoodfora
persongettingmarriedoralreadymarried,stillascribingittoImam
Ahmadwouldnotbewise.
Andbecauseitisnotpresentedasahadith(i.e.ascribedtothe
ProphetSAWS),thereforeinmyopinionsharingitjustasregulartips
withoutascribingittoImamAhmaddoesnotharm.
WallahuAlam.
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Irfan Ullah Khan, Mar 1, 2016 Report

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MashaAllah,thanksalotforthecorrection,reallyappreciate,willbemore
carefullandmakemoreresearchinbeforeposting,jazakullahukhairan.

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Farida Mohammed Iliyas, Mar 2, 2016 Report

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Jazakallahukhairan,forconfirmingtheauthenticity.

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Aliyu

Aliyu, Mar 2, 2016 Report

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thatisgreat,mayAllahforgiveyouandbrothersinclusive

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Abu Jafar

Abu Jafar, Mar 22, 2016 Report

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