From English to Science and Never Back Again

I have never been great at science. Did I ever fail? Not until college, but that doesnt
mean the grades I got were stellar. In fact, they were usually only a few points over the passing
line. In high school, science was actually the bane of my existence. For three years I yearned for
my senior year when I could have a science-less year, until I could get away from the smelly hall
which foreshadowed packets of questions, unexplained labs, musty textbooks, and the nastiest
headaches.
I was an English girl, the kid who always had a book in hand, 3+ notebook jumping
around my bag, and a myriad of pencils stuck in my hair. I lived for English class, for well-worn
books, enthusiastic discussion, and the feeling that I understood.
This was how I walked through high school, recoiling from Science, and embracing
English. Before long, about sophomore year, the subject of college, was rampant in our lives.
Questions were thrown at us: Where will you go? University? Community College? Trade
School? What will you study? and the ever popular What do you want to do with your life?
I was lost in the questions, had no idea what to say. I went on college visits my sophomore year,
but still I had no answers. I chose to shrug it off another year. I had another year before I had to
worry about college applications. Then the year came and went. I had expected to feel anxious
when this moment came, but I had my answer. In the span of my Junior year, I had found my
answer: Teaching. Of course, the questions continued. Now that I knew what I wanted to study,
and do, I got the question What will you teach? The answer seemed so easy to me at the time,
English, hands down, no question in my mind, no hesitation.
Finally, I made it to beautiful, small town Farmington, and the college at its center,
UMaine Farmington. I couldnt wait. If only I could have seen the drastic turn my life would
take in just one year. Now you think I would have known the effect one year can have, after one
year took me from having no ideas about my future to deciding to teach, but no, I was so sure I
was set. I wouldnt even let my general education biology class bring me down, and to my
surprise, it didnt. The professor brought evolution and science alive, took information I had
gotten in high school, and took it further. I ended my first semester with the best grades I had
gotten in years, and without me realizing, and nagging in the back of my mind. This nagging hit
me with the full force of a speeding train the summer following my freshman year.
The Fall of my Sophomore year (bear with me, Im not skipping anything) I was slated
for an extensive 12 credit course. Everyone I ever talked to told me not to, under any
circumstances, take a second class with this Practicum course if I could avoid it at all. That is
why I chose to take my second required general science course, an introductory Physics, that
summer at SMCC in South Portland. This class took the small spark that had appeared in that
Freshman biology course, and shattered my view of science. I went in with the thought process,
if material gets too difficult, I can just poke my dads brain, hes good at this sort of thing, so my
mom told me. Instead, I found a whole new world I hadnt imagined. Astronomy was alive in
front of me, and math (insert shudder from high school) was suddenly a means to bring this life
to me. Instead of struggling, I was the student helping others to understand. This is why, when I

returned to Farming that fall, I chose to switch from Secondary English, over to Secondary
Physics.
Unfortunately, things werent all roses and daisies with the switch. I struggled, failed
class and doubted my choices. I cant do this, I thought to myself. Ive switched into a subject
I understand less than the last one, what was I thinking? My advisor saw this, and my abysmal
grades in my subject classes, and just smiled. This woman, is my savior in all things education
related. She has helped me through breakdowns, high stress, doubt, and anxiety. In this instance,
she gave me the single piece of advice I needed most at that time Why dont we give Earth and
Space Science a try.
Now, something about me I havent mentioned, because it predates high school and
middle school, is that as a child, I loved rocks. My room was always littered with books, and
buckets of rocks. I thought they were pretty and sparkly. I liked toss them around like small,
heavy balls. When I made the mental switch (I was still Physics on paper) to Earth and Space
Science, the world clicked.
I have not regretted one second. Even when my grades are mostly Cs, and I have one
class I have failed, putting my future in a fog. I may not understand all the concepts or ideas in
Astronomy and Geology, but I am interested, I want to know more, and I feel a determination I
never felt with English.
Never did I think I would end up in a field that included science, now, I cant imagine not
having science (even if it is a very specific science) in my life. I have meaning in my child self,
and I find a new depth in my short stint in English. I never thought I would find life in science,
but now, even when stressed and crying over classwork, I feel a renewed breath.