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Got time to breathe,

Mayberry Mail

got time to read!

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Issue XI

Town Icon to Become Next

Electronic Dance Music
Sensation?
By: Rubicela Chavez
Maybe you have heard about this
new type of music by now.It is the
latest craze around the nation and
one can see why. This
veryreporter had to listen to
some ofit, strictlyfor research purposes of course, and
there was some definite head bobbing as a result.
This"EDM", as some call it,has become popular with a
few of the younger folks but it had yet to really make it's
way into the heart our little town. That wasuntil today
when one of our very own made a huge announcement.
Sheriff Andy Taylor announced that he is quitting his
position as Sheriff, that's right QUITTING, in order to
pursue his dream of becoming a professional DJ. Fora
long timenow, the townspeople had noticed that
something was different with Sheriff Andy. Certain
townspeople had seen him walking around town with
one hand to his ear and making weird movements with
the other. Otherssaid the sheriffhad threatened
themby continuously throwinghis fist up in the airto
them. And there were those who swore that we was
doing some kind of strange ritual because he kept
chanting something along the lines of "untz, untz,
untz".However, no one could have imagined this was the
reason for it all.
In a press conference today Sheriff Andy Taylor
revealed everything. This washis statement:
"I know many of you will be confused and upset over my
decision but it was time that I stopped lying to this town
and to myself. This is who I really am and now that I
have accepted it, I'm happier than I've ever been. I still
love everyone in this town and I hope you will continue

$1.50

to support me and accept me in this new stage of my life.

I cannot be your Sheriff anymore because the truth is, I
am and always have been a DJ".
It has certainly beena shock but we will stand with our
Sheriff like he has always stood by us. We are proud of
his courage and wish him the best in his new career.It
will be sad to see him go butwe can accept that this
iswhat he needs to do.Like he said at the end of his
speech today,"Sheriffing has been fun, but DJ-ing is
life!" So you go and live that life Andy Taylor! Don't you
worry about Mayberry, it will always be here cheering
you onand we will beyour biggest fans.
You can catch Sheriff Andy Taylor on Tour this summer
opening for Kaskade under his new DJ name, Share F.

New Family Arrives At

Mayberry
By: Marinka Green
Mayberry wishes to convey a heartfelt welcome its
newest family, the Munsters. They have come to
Mayberry to run the local funeral parlor. Herman
and Lily bring with them their young son Eddie,
Lilly's father, referred to only as Grandpa, and
cousin Marilyn. They thought Mayberry would be
an ideal place to raise their son. They feel the clean
air, good wholesome environment, and wonderful
community would be a good change for their family.
Helen Crump a teacher at the school says she is
looking forward to having Eddie in her class. Opie
Taylor, Sheriff Andy's son added that he thinks he
and Eddy will become fast friends. He hopes he and
his Pa can take Eddie to the local fishing hole,
because Eddie said has never been fishing before.
So, citizens of Mayberry, I hope you can make our
new residents feel as welcome as if they had lived
here their whole life.

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THE CASE OF THE MISSING CROWN

By: Doraisabel Gaxiola
As we all know the
Annual Spring Festival is
right around and for the
first time in Mayberry
history we will be ending
this years festivities with
a Beauty Pageant. The
Beauty Pageant will be
judged by no other than
Sheriff Andy Taylor.
BUT as we all know
things have gone
missing from time to
time down here in
Mayberry. The
missing case of the
gingerbread cookies,
Linuss Blanket, and
Wilson volleyball head to
just name a few.

The Beauty Pageants

crown went missing
yesterday afternoon. One
moment the crown was
there and the next it
wasnt. According to all
the girls at rehearsal, no
one saw or heard
anything. Hmm, who
could it have been then?
Could it have been Leia
Solo, Rudy Huxtable,
Thelma Lou or
Wednesday Adams?
Well, ladies and
gentleman, it was
none of these beauties.
It was no other than
Lassie. Lassie, the dog?
Yes, Lassie the dog. How?
Sheriff, Andy Taylor
found her trying to bury

Floyd the Phony?

By: Chantelle Rigby
Floyds Barbershop; once a place of clean
shaves, fresh haircuts, and of course, gossip
among Mayberrys men, has officially been
closed down until further notice. Opies
Monday afternoon appointment was abruptly
interrupted when Sheriff Andy Taylor
rushed in with his handcuffs. He slammed
them onto Floyds wrists and off they went!
Now we werent quite certain what the cause
of his arrest was until this morning. If you
were a victim of his criminal acts then
unfortunately the news hit you sooner than
the rest of us. Floyd has been using his tip
money to pay the children of our town to
replace all of their fathers shampoo with
hair removal liquid! Apparently, one child
reported, Mr. Floyd Lawson continuously
talked about how his own hair was falling out

it in his garden and the

only conclusion he and all
the girls came up with
was that Lassie might of
confused the crown was
her next new shiny bone
ready to be buried.
Due to this crazy ordeal,
Sheriff Andy Taylor now
believes that maybe
Lassie has everything to
do with the missing items
of Mayberry. A digging
expedition will begin
after the Spring Festival.
Lets all hope its a
successful expedition,
because between you and
I, I sure do miss my dear
friend Wilson.

and he was
jealous of
all the towns
men.
He told us that if he
cannot keep his hair,
then nobody gets to.
But the good news is, we
are celebrating the grand
opening of Goobers Great
Wigs and Hats tomorrow
at noon! Dont
miss it! And
we are
currently
in the
process of
hiring the
town's
newest barber,
so once our men have
grown back theirmanes,it
is time to show us your talent! Must be 14 or
older to apply.

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The LOVE Corner

Wedding
Announcement!
By: Susan Gallagher

Mayberry Love
& Hip Hop
By: Benita Bonilla
Here in Mayberry,
North Carolina a few of
our well known locals
has displayed their love
out in public. Last night,
was the grand opening
of Club XS, the towns
one and only nightclub.
Deputy Barnie Fife
and Aunt Bea decided to
take the night off from
fighting crime and
baking goods to join the
towns festivities. The
pair was spotted in the
VIP section of the club,
dancing the night away.
The two were with
Stevie J., his wife
Joseline Hernandez,
Cardi B, Mariahlynn,
Rich Dollaz, Joe
Budden, Papoose and

his wife Remy Ma

to name a few.
They were
popping bottles
and it seemed
like the two were
having the time
of their life.
Spectators
described how the
pair seemed to be madly
in love, they couldnt
seem to keep their
hands off one another.
One spectator stated,
It was nice to see such a
hard working couple
finally let loose and
enjoy life, after all work
isnt everything!

It was a beautiful
spring day, the
flowers were
blooming
alongside Myers
lake where
Andy and Opie
enjoyed fishing.
The Gazebo was
set up for the
nuptials that has
long been awaited for
in Mayberry. Aunt Bea
had catered the event with
platters of fried chicken and
cornbread biscuits and Opie's
favorite butterscotch pecan pie.
Andy wore his Mayberry official
officer attire standing in as the best
man to his his good friend Barney
Fife who would finally be able to
marry the love of his life Gomer
Pyle. It all started whenBarney
gave Gomer a ticket for making an
illegal U-Turn, but when Barney
does it, Gomer yells "CITIZENS
ARREST!" Gomer said Barney did
something illegal himself. Barney
stole his heart. Congratulations to
the happy couple!

Tired of being LONELY? Go on

MayberryMingles.com and find the love
of your life!

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Cat Crisis
By: Angelica Reyes
The fire department had to work up
quite a sweat Monday morning when
Daisy, our mayors beloved cat, got
stuck in a tree. Chief Winsley was up
from eight in the morning trying to
persuade our finicky feline friend to
come down. An eyewitness claims to
have seen Daisy attempting to run
away from a dog, thus getting herself
stuck in a tree. Thankfully, with the
help of Lieutenant Dennis, they were
able to retrieve Daisy safely.

Trouble Out On Myer

Lake

All of the sudden, it was quite and calm,

when a huge clash of lighting followed by
buckets of rain came crashing onto the lake.
The shock of the lighting startled the Sheriff
which made him lose the other paddle ore.
As rain pelts down on the little row boat and
fear starts really building in Sheriff Andy
and Opie when a voice from a distance calls
out, Hey there! You guys look like you need
of some rescuing. Deputy Barney had a gut
feeling that something was wrong when he
seen the storm rolling in and the Sheriff and
Opie were not back in town. The sigh of relief
as Deputy Barney was on a motor boat on
his way to rescue the Sheriff and Opie.
Deputy Barney threw a rope to Griffith and
they make their way back to shore. As
lightning strikes, thunder roars, and rain
falls, they quickly dock the boats and head
back to town safely.

By: Tiffany Freiert

Sheriff Andy Griffin took Opie out for a
relaxing day of fishing. A peaceful, quite,
relaxing day turned out nerve racking.
The day started out calm and beautiful.
Sheriff Andy and Opie hoisted out the row
boat off on Lake Myer in hopes to catch
some fish. Time passed from morning to
afternoon and the calm day turned into a
windy, hazy day. As storm clouds rolled
and the winds picked up, it was carrying
the row boat farther and farther away
from the lakes shore. A big gushed of
wind, quickly blew off Opies hat. As he
was trying to retrieve his hat with the
paddle ore, he ended up losing his balance
and slip back into the boat, as the paddle
ore splashes into the lake. The wind was
drifting the row boat away and Sheriff
Andy panic splashing and paddling to get
the other paddle back.

AUNT BEAS
ANNUAL BAKE SALE!
this Monday

ALL PROCEEDS GO
TOWARDS CHURCH
RENOVATIONS