Tales of a Dream Team

Written By
Camillio Tellez
Video URL:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUZophWoW0o

44 Tamarisk Circle
325-455-5016

EXT. RANDOM HOUSE - DAY

A tinted car pulls up to the side of the curb, coming to a
quick stop. Inside is two men wearing suits, agents ALAN
SHEPARD and FRED JONES. They are both wearing sunglasses.
Fred puts on his hat.
ALAN
Alright, looks like we're here. You
boys ready?
FRED
Yeah, there's one guy and three of
us, I think we're ready.
ALAN
Don't...don't give me attitude.
Another man in a suit, agent CLIFF SMALLS, is sitting in the
back seat. He is wearing outrageous looking sunglasses
compared to the others.
CLIFF
What's taking so long, we should
have mopped the floor with this guy
an hour ago.
Fred turns around to Cliff
FRED
Cliff, what are you wearing?
CLIFF
Sunglasses, duh!
FRED
Put on your real sunglasses.
CLIFF
These are my real sunglasses!
They both mumble comments under their breath. Alan takes
charge.
ALAN
Enough joking around, let's get
this done and over with. We can't
afford any more mistakes, or boss
will have our heads.
Cliff jumps up to the front of the car.

CLIFF
Autobots, mobilize!
Alan and Fred respond negatively to Cliff as they exit the
car.
CLIFF
No? Ok...
All three exit the car. Fred and Alan close their doors
softly. Cliff slams his door loudly. Alan motions him to
quiet down. They head to the back of the house.
On the other side of the street, a man, DRUG DEALER, walks
up to his front porch. He takes a sip of his coffee as he
looks across. The dealer sees the men go around the corner,
he panics and rushes back inside.
The agents enter the house from the back while the drug
dealer takes supplies to his car. The drug dealer packs up
his stuff and leaves as the agents bust in the house.
FRED
Clear.
ALAN
Alright, there's no one here. Let's
pan out and look for evidence.
Cool?
FRED
Let's do it.
The group spreads out and searches the house.
ALAN
Did y'all find anything?
Cliff pulls out a bag of chocolate as he eats some.
CLIFF
(Eating)
I found some chocolate.
Alan finds a measuring cup in the cabinet. He shows it to
Fred.
ALAN
Hey Fred, check this out. I found a
beaker.
FRED
This is a measuring cup. (Points to
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3
FRED (CONT'D)
cup) See, ounces, and beakers don't
have handles.
As the group explores, the sound of shattering breaks the
silence. Cliff is standing over broken glass.
CLIFF
Yeah, my bad.
FRED
What are you doing?
ALAN
Do you even know what stealthy
means?
CLIFF
We should probably clean this up...
FRED
Yeah.
From one of the nearby rooms, a COLLEGE GIRL wearing pajamas
up to them.
COLLEGE GIRL
Who are you guys?
They peek inside and see the girl. They begin to hastily
leave the room. Three girls wearing night clothes walk out
from the room behind them.
ALAN
We are so sorry. We thought there
were actual drugs in this house.
So...
COLLEGE GIRL
Drug dealers? Do we look like drug
dealers to you? I do not care if
you are in the DEA, the CIA, or the
NBA, get out of my house.
FRED
Here's our card. Feel free to call
the DEA agency and we'll clear this
up. We are so sorry.
Alan and Fred walk away from the women.
CLIFF
And here's my card if you ever need
anything.

He winks at the college girl as he walks away.

FRED
Come on...
The group exits the front door.
CLIFF
Well that went pretty well...
ALAN
(Interrupting)
Shut up Cliff.
CLIFF
Ok.
They all get back in their car and drive off-screen
INT. DEA OFFICE - DAY
The three agents are in front of a desk disappointed. Behind
the desk is their BOSS who slams his hands on the desk.
BOSS
Agent Sheppard, Agent Jones, Agent
Smalls, who do you guys think you
are?
ALAN
Sir, if you would just let me
explain...
BOSS
(Interrupting)
Do you even know what this place
is?
ALAN
I believe...
BOSS
(Interrupting)
I'll tell you what it is. This is a
DEA office and do you know who
works here? DEA agents, which you
idiots obviously can't be because
you can't even do a simple drug
bust which is what we pay DEA
agents to do.
ALAN
Boss, you're right. (To Fred and
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5
ALAN (CONT'D)
Cliff) Guys, let's turn in our
stuff.
Alan and Fred take out their guns and place it on the desk.
Cliff takes out a bottle of liquid soap and slams it on the
desk after them. The boss looks at the soap.
BOSS
When are you ever going to use
this?
CLIFF
When the time's right.
BOSS
Wait, wait. Normally I work with
the three strikes and you're out
rule. But, it looks like all my
other agents are busy so you guys
get one more chance to redeem
yourselves. One of the other
agents, did get a lead, so you guys
only hit a foul ball on this one.
The boss pulls out a folder from under the desk.
BOSS
The chemist we're looking for has
arranged for a buy (slams folder)
at a location in this folder. What
I need you guys to do is follow the
chemist and the buyer, and maybe,
just maybe, you can get it right
this time. And hit a double, and
not just strike out.
They get ready to leave, grabbing their stuff off the desk
as they head out.
ALAN
Thanks boss, we won't let you down
on this one.
FRED
Yeah boss, you won't regret this.
They begin to exit the door.
BOSS
Smalls.
Cliff turns around and faces Boss.

BOSS
Stop sending me pictures of your
cats, they're not evidence.
CLIFF
I'll think about it.
Cliff closes the door behind him. The boss sighs and resumes
his work. Immediately after, boss gets a ring from his
phone. He checks his phone and sighs again. Cliff opens the
door and pokes his head in.
CLIFF
Meow!
He closes the door.
BOSS
What have I done.
EXT. ALLEYWAY - DAY
A lone vehicle is at the end of an alley with the Drug
Dealer from previously leaning against it. He looks around,
waiting for something.
Alan is peeking around a large dumpster. He turns to Fred
and Cliff who are also behind the dumpster.
ALAN
Man, when is this guy supposed to
get here? He sure is taking his
time.
Cliff and Fred are in the middle of an argument.
CLIFF
Well that's just not right.
FRED
All I'm saying is fights are not
100% strength. You have to take
into account reaction time,
strategy, mental strength.
CLIFF
You know what you have to take into
account, these big muscles. That's
all you have to take into account.
FRED
Have you heard the old saying that
fights are 100% mental?

CLIFF
I think you're mental!
ALAN
Can y'all shut up! The car's
pulling up.
Alan peeks around the corner. Another vehicle pulls up next
to the dealer's vehicle. Alan is looking behind the dumpster
while Cliff is looking the wrong direction. Alan notices
this. He pulls Cliff to the right direction.
CLIFF
It's the chemist that boss showed
us.
A bodyguard, BUTCH comes out holding a backpack. The dealer
is holding a duffle bag. They exchange items and head back
to their vehicles. The three agents huddle together.
FRED
Yeah, and we would have found them
sooner if someone wouldn't have got
the house numbers mixed up.
CLIFF
At least I don't read fairy tales.
FRED
They're crime novels.
ALAN
It doesn't matter. Fred, you're
going to follow the chemist, and
arrest him.
Fred goes to high-five Alan but is ignored.
ALAN
Me and Cliff, (stylish fist bump)
are going to follow the buyer to
his hideout.
FRED
Ok.
ALAN
Alright, let's go.
The group goes separate ways. Fred walks alone down the
alley. He sharply turns around.

FRED
When did we decide this?
Alan and Cliff are gone.
FRED
And they already left me.
Fred resumes walking down the alley.
EXT. STREET - AFTERNOON
Butch's vehicle drives down the street, eventually reaching
a house. Alan and Cliff pursue behind in a car. Once they
reach a short distance from the house, they stop.
CLIFF
Stop, stop, stop!
ALAN
Ok!
CLIFF
They're going to see us.
ALAN
Its expensive brakes.
INT. DEALER'S HOUSE - AFTERNOON
The drug dealer walks inside and sets his stuff down. Fred
rushes in behind him, holding a gun.
FRED
Freeze! Hands in the air! Get on
the ground!
The dealer lies down on the ground.
FRED
Put your hands behind your back!
Fred handcuffs the dealer. Afterwards, Fred forces the
dealer against the wall.
FRED
Come on, get up.
Fred takes out his phone.
FRED
My first bad guy. What a good
feeling. Selfie time.

Fred takes a picture with the dealer.

FRED
This one's going to Alan.
After sending the picture, Fred helps the dealer stand up.
FRED
Let's go, get moving. (Dealer
stands) Let's go!
They stop at the front door.
FRED
After the police take custody of
you I'm going to take a long nap.
My other two agents will find your
little buyer friend.
DEALER
If I was your friends, I would be a
lot more careful. They might have
bitten off more than they can chew.
FRED
We'll see about that.
Fred escorts the dealer out the front door.
INT. SMALL ROOM - AFTERNOON
Butch is looking through a window. He turns to someone
nearby.
BUTCH
Well boss, they haven't made their
move yet, what should we do?
Sitting on a couch playing a bored game is VICTOR, a well
dressed-man. He is holding cards in his hand.
VICTOR
Butch, have I ever told you why I
liked Settlers of Catan so much?
BUTCH
No you haven't boss.
VICTOR
It's because it's about tricking
your opponent. Just when they think
they've won the game, you play your
hand, and steal the show.

10

Victor makes a move on the board game and throws his cards
on the table.
BUTCH
Well, looks like you when again
boss.
Butch kneels down and begins to put up the board game.
VICTOR
You see Butch, life is not about
winning, it's about not losing,
(confidently stands) and I don't
lose. The agents think we're
asleep, that means we have the
upper hand.
BUTCH
So what's your plan?
Victor gives a smirk towards Butch.
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
Alan and Cliff are outside the back door. Cliff is lock
picking the door.
ALAN
Remind me again how you know how to
pick locks Cliff?
CLIFF
I know a guy.
ALAN
See, that's what you always say.
This must be some talented guy, or
you're hiding something.
CLIFF
Ok, I almost got it.
The back door opens and the two agents enter the living
room. Alan is aiming a pistol while Cliff is holding a
flashlight. They search the house. They come down a hallway
and search a room with no luck. They continue down the
hallway and enter another room.
INT. BEDROOM
They enter the room and look around. They notice nothing
unusual.

11

ALAN
Clear.
CLIFF
Clear.
ALAN
There is no one here.
CLIFF
Yeah, back to square one.
ALAN
Alright, so let's get with...
A phone rings nearby. Alan and Cliff see it placed on a sign
nailed to the wall. Alan picks up and answers the phone.
ALAN
Who is this?
VICTOR
(Evil laugh) Game over, agents.
The door slams shut, trapping
from underneath the door. The
the door unsuccessfully. They
unconscious. Victor and Butch
room.

the two agents. Gas pours out

two agents struggle to open
cry for help, eventually going
meet together outside the

VICTOR
Butch, go press the button outside
to unbar the door. I'll take their
guns and ammo. Once you're done
outside, meet me back in there.
BUTCH
On it boss.
Butch leaves the area.
INT. FRED'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Fred is sleeping in bed with his original clothes still on.
His phone rings on a drawer next to him. Fred tiredly
answers the phone.
FRED
Hello? Yeah? Yeah they took
custody...what? Ok, I'll be right
there.
Fred frantically gets up out of bed.

12

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Victor and Butch are sitting on separate couches in
conversation.
BUTCH
Boss, I think we should take a look
at the list again.
VICTOR
No Butch, we already have
everything ready. We just need to
finish loading up the car and we're
good to go.
BUTCH
Well, the list is kind of long and
if we...
A phone rings on the table in front of them. Butch picks up
the phone and checks it out.
BUTCH
Boss, you should take a look at
this.
Victor takes the phone from him and examines it. He slams
the phone on the table.
VICTOR
Unbelievable. Butch, hand me my
gun.
Butch reaches into the table drawer and takes out a pistol.
He hands the pistol to Victor.
INT. ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Alan and Cliff are tied up on the bed, struggling to break
free.
ALAN
Well Cliff, it looks like we are in
a bit of trouble here.
CLIFF
Ah, it's not to bad. Some good
bonding, co-worker time. We haven't
talked in a while. You don't talk
to me.
ALAN
How's your cat mittens doing?

13

CLIFF
You know, she started off last week
with a great little meow, goes
meow. And now it sounds like (makes
throw up sounds).
Someone knocks on the door to the room.
CLIFF
(High-pitched voice)
Who is it?
Victor and Butch enter the room.
VICTOR
Anybody home? (Looks at them and
laughs) What a pleasant surprise.
Would you guys like a muffin?
CLIFF
Yeah!
ALAN
Don't take it.
CLIFF
It's blueberry!
VICTOR
Do you want it?
CLIFF
Yeah.
Victor points the pistol at his head.
VICTOR
Do you still want some of my
muffin?
CLIFF
I kind of...
Victor stuffs the muffin in Cliff's mouth. Cliff takes a
bite and spits out the rest.
ALAN
Is it good?
CLIFF
It's pretty good.
Victor takes out a phone and shows it to them.

14

VICTOR
Agents, who did you contact?
ALAN
Cliff? Did you hear something?
CLIFF
Might have been the muffin man!
ALAN
Oh that's cool.
VICTOR
(Furious)
Do you think, this is a joke! I am
Victor Hans, I will not be made a
fool by amateur agents.
CLIFF
Well I just checked my watch and
its amateur hour.
ALAN
Ha! Classy!
CLIFF
Ha! Noggin!
They tap heads. Victor takes a step back, calming down.
VICTOR
Your name is agent Smalls isn't it?
ALAN
Don't answer that.
VICTOR
I get it now. I've already gotten
to the punch line. You two think
you can stall for time. But I've
got a better joke.
Victor points his pistol down at one of Cliff's ankles. He
fires a shot and hits Cliff. Cliff bends over in pain.
VICTOR
Still don't feel like talking?
That's ok, I have other means of
making people talk. (To Butch)
Butch, go finish loading up the
car, I'm going to go see if I can't
find that machete.

15

BUTCH
Understood boss.
Butch exits the room.
VICTOR
I'll be back to finish what I
started.
Victor exits the room.
ALAN
So, how ya doing buddy?
CLIFF
Eh, I had better days. I guess.
ALAN
Well, I don't want you to worry.
I'm going to get us out of here.
CLIFF
Um, yeah, how are you going to do
that?
ALAN
Just watch.
Alan pulls his foot onto the bed, revealing a pocket knife
attached to his sock. He knocks it off with his other foot.
EXT. FRONT OF HOUSE
Victor and Butch leave the house and go separate directions.
INT. HALLWAY
Alan helps Cliff limping down the hallway.
ALAN
Its ok, we'll get you out of here.
INT. KITCHEN
ALAN
Come on, I got you.
CLIFF
Wouldn't it be easier to just go
through the front door?
ALAN
(Interrupting)
It's going to be way safer to go
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ALAN (CONT'D)
out back.
They make it to a back door. Alan tries to open the door.
CLIFF
It's locked.
ALAN
Ok, um...alright follow me, I have
a plan.
They walk off-screen.
INT. HALLWAY
VICTOR (O.S.)
Where are the agents!
Victor comes out from the bedroom into the hallway. He walks
down the hall.
VICTOR
(Evil laugh) Come out, come out,
wherever you are.
INT. KITCHEN
Alan sets down Cliff against the corner.
ALAN
Alright, here you go. You good?
CLIFF
Yeah, I guess.
ALAN
I'll be back.
As Alan tries to leave, Cliff pulls him back.
CLIFF
You can't do this alone.
ALAN
I got this.
EXT. FRONT OF HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Butch opens the vehicle door and leans inside, shuffling
stuff around. Nearby, Fred comes up behind Butch and knocks
him out. He continues towards the house.
INT. LIVING ROOM

17

Victor paces around the room, growing impatient as he talks.

VICTOR
You agents are pushing me farther
than I've ever been before. I
commend you. But I've killed
countless people that have stood in
my way and I'm not going to stop
with you.
Victor drops the machete on the table. His anger rises.
VICTOR
My name is known throughout the
states! I will never lose, and I
won't stop with you!
Victor resumes pacing around the room, waiting for the
agents. Alan slides against the wall around the corner. He
peers around the corner and sees Victor facing away. He
takes the opportunity and jumps him.
EXT. FRONT OF HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Fred comes to the front of the door and stops before
entering. He pauses for a moment, leaning in to listen
inside.
FRED
I'm going to need more fire power
for this job.
Fred leaves the area.
INT. LIVING ROOM
Alan and Victor are in the middle of a fight. There is a
brief pause in the fight.
VICTOR
Not bad agent Sheppard, but I have
experience killing people with my
hands.
ALAN
I bet you do.
The fight resumes but is quickly ended by Victor. Alan falls
to the ground. Victor towers over Alan,
VICTOR
Good try agent Sheppard, but you're
done. Game over.

18

Victor deals a finishing blow to Sheppard, leaving him

dazed. Victor stands up and walks over to his machete. He
grabs it and walks back over to Sheppard.
VICTOR
(Evil laugh) Agent Sheppard. You
should have believed when I told
you I never lose. I would tell you
to tell the devil I said hey, but
I'm already here. Sleep tight agent
Sheppard.
As Victor prepares to kill Alan, Cliff rushes out from the
kitchen across the room holding liquid soap.
CLIFF
Stop! I will shoot!
VICTOR
Ha, what!
CLIFF
Take one more step, and I'll take
you out!
VICTOR
Ha! Is that soap?
Suddenly, Fred barges through the front door holding a shot
gun. He takes aim and fires at Victor. Victor is sprayed
with bullets. Victor clinches on a nearby object to stay up,
but eventually falls over dead.
CLIFF
Not bad Fred, not bad.
Fred rolls Victor away from Alan. He helps Alan stand to his
feet.
FRED
Do me a favor and don't leave me
again.
ALAN
I'll try.
FRED
Let's go.
They walk away from Victor but Fred hangs back before
leaving the house. He stands over Victor.

19

FRED
God may be your judge, but I'm the
executioner.
He puts the shotgun on his shoulder and walks away.
INT. FISHTANK - THE NEXT DAY
Two fish are swimming in a tank.
FISH #1(V.O.)
Man, its cold in here.
FISH #2(V.O.)
Whatcha talkin about?
FISH #1(V.O.)
Man, I said it's cold in here. I'm
going to turn on the thermostat.
FISH #2(V.O.)
Thermostat! We're under water! You
stupid. I can't believe we swam in
the same school together.
FISH #1(V.O.)
What's water?
INT. OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Cliff is sitting in a chair outside the office. He is
watching a video on his phone.
CLIFF
Bloop, bloop, bloop. I'm so funny I
should just make YouTube videos.
FRED
Would you get in here? Seriously.
Fred is standing in the doorway to the office looking at
Cliff. Cliff looks over at him as he attempts to get up.
CLIFF
Sorry.
Fred helps injured Cliff into the office. They both take
their seats inside. The boss behind the desk notices them
sitting.
BOSS
Good job guys. You guys
successfully took down one of the
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20
BOSS (CONT'D)
biggest drug lords in the state of
Texas, good job. I'm proud to call
you guys DEA agents.
FRED
Thanks boss.
BOSS
(To Cliff) And Smalls.
Cliff looks at him. Each time the camera shows Cliff, he is
holding a different object.
BOSS
I enjoyed your cat video.
CLIFF
There's more where that came from.
BOSS
Let's not get carried away.
Cliff puts his cast ankle on the table.
CLIFF
I was shot!
BOSS
You guys are dismissed.
The three agents meet together.
ALAN
Well guys, we did it.
CLIFF
You know what that calls for.
FRED
Don't say it.
CLIFF
Desk pop!
Fred pulls out his pistol and fires at the ceiling. The
bullet rips through the ceiling. Alan and Cliff freak out.
CLIFF
You're not supposed to actually
shoot in boss's office. Let's get
out of here.
The three agents scramble to get out of the office. Cliff
falls over at the doorway.

21

CLIFF
I was shot!
ALAN
Good.
Alan and Fred head out the front door with Cliff hobbling
behind. The boss lets out a sigh and gives a slight smile.
THE END: