He's horribly attractive, and there's something appealing about knowing that you

're about to inflict horrible damage to yourself through dating this person. He
makes you feel terrible, he's dangerous, and you can't help but feel attracted t
o it.
You know he's raised a fist to his mom and pushed his sister down stairs and the
cuts on his hand are from when it's gone through a wall. It's somehow tragic, a
nd you foolishly traipse into this relationship knowing that you can't tame him,
that you'll be one of many, but you still want to try.
You still have some vague hope that he will conform for you, be different for yo
u, and when he tells you that you are different from the others. And when you ge
t your heart broken you almost cherish the pain because it's what you deserve. Y
ou choose destruction over kindness because it's what you feel you deserve.
An invisible version of self-harm that perpetuates for months when he tells you
that you were nothing to him, tells others you're a loon, and tells his friends
he hates you so much that he wishes you dead.
I am stupid stupid dumb dumb dumb.