Who Am I This Time?

Analysis by Chiara Machin-dArbela

Grade 7, 2016

I just dont know how to begin, says Helene Shaw, the seemingly robotic, small-town travelling
demonstrator of automatic billing machines, when asked has she ever been in love, in Kurt
Vonnegut Jrs short story Who Am I This Time? It is the offer to participate in society that
begins the transformation of this beautiful but numb human politeness machine with pretty
blue eyes into a defiantly loving woman. Using her sly intelligence to defy her own automatic
programming, she delivers precisely on what she promises -- to surprise even herself... and
us...by bringing to real life a fairy tale of forever love. This story is all about sly. It is about
triggers on how to be human. On how to begin to be human, in an age of programmed
assumptions. And trust me, I cannot stand societys stereotypes.
Vonnegut transforms a drab small town in nowhere America in the 1960s by touching it with the
magic and hope of Hollywood. I cannot imagine a salesman who does not understand humans,
but Vonnegut presses the assumption button of small town to make us believe that the
Narrator, a local storm window salesman, somehow knows nothing about humans when he is
stuck with the responsibility of directing and producing The North Crawford Mask and Wig
Clubs new spring play, the Hollywood blockbuster: A Streetcar Named Desire.
Vonnegut plays another assumption trick. He wants us to believe that the steamy and emotional
Hollywood movie, Streetcar, starring the hottest Hollywood actor, Marlon Brando, could never be
played in a small dusty unknown town by unknown people. But that is the precise setting of
Streetcars story. So it is no wonder that, faced with a long list of ancient lead actresses, the
Narrator luckily disputes a misprinted machine-written telephone bill, which leads him to the
beautiful politeness machine Helene Shaw, which triggers a fully programmed but human love
story between Helene and the local theater star, Harry Nash.
Harry Nash, a shy, pale hardware store clerk, is known as the best actor in town. In the
beginning of the story, Harry Nash is like a pristine pool of water -- colourless and without
impact -- until he is given a script. Like Bruce Lee, he then transforms from the type of water
that seeks any means to escape - through cracks or holes -- to the type of water that can
destroy entire cities and mountains. But! Only when directed by a script! When the play is over,
he returns to being placid and formless, quietly evaporating without notice: he could never
think of anything to say or do without a script.
Acting in the play Streetcar, Harry transforms into the destructive force of the conceited and
cruel Kowalski, played, in the movie, by the Hollywood star and sexy gorilla Marlon Brando.
Helene, whose only knowledge of love is to play-act marriage to a Hollywood star, falls in the
love with the transformed Harry. She is human enough to out-smart her programmed numbness
to realize Harrys true character -- of what Harry really is or more correctly, what Harry really

isnt. She is also smart enough to know what she wants (love), and to see an ingenious path to
it through acting.
Defying her so-called machine-like state with real tears, and fully aware of how acting freed her
from being trapped in a big bottle that had previously stopped her from loving and feeling, she
takes the charge off the bill. She creates a hybrid plan of human and machine: full of potential
human mistakes but programmed to make her and Harry live in love forever. She will keep him
in a perpetual state of romance by a constant supply of romantic plays. Hardly the plan of a
beautiful but automatic walking icebox of a girl with no hope or curiosity in her eyes:
In the past week, she said, Ive been married to Othello, been loved by Faust and
been kidnaped by Paris. Wouldnt you say I was the luckiest girl in town?
It would be a sad story about Helene as an ice-cold puppet-master with her wooden puppet if
Harry also did not transform into happiness. But he does -- a real Pinocchio boy touched by the
magic of being true to himself (another Hollywood blockbuster!), even if that only means when
he is performing. If it means they can find love together, as Helene says, What do I care?
The story ends with Helene slyly asking the Narrator Who are we this time? when asked if she
and Harry will join the cast of his new play. It is her way of showing their shared transformation.
Previously, when asked the same question, Harry would answer Who am I this time?
I think this story is about taking the risk of finding human love in a programmed world. We can
be brave enough to accept each other for who we are by outsmarting societys assumptions. We
can choose to adjust where we can. When the Narrator tells her that the other women think her
lucky too, Helene coolly responds they had their chance. Just like writing this essay, you just
have to know how to begin.