Way to cherrypick the Bible.

Eating fat (3:17)

Cross-breeding animals (19:19)
Leviticus 18
22

Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is
detestable.
Leviticus 19
19

Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed.

Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material.

27

Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your
beard.
28

Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am
the Lord.
Leviticus 11: 10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the
rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the
waters, they shall be an abomination unto you.
Leviticus 11:28-29 These also shall be unclean unto you among the creeping
things that creep upon the earth; the weasel, and the mouse, and the tortoise
after his kind, and the ferret, and the chameleon, and the lizard, and the snail,
and the mole.
Leviticus 10: 6Uncover not your heads, neither rend your clothes; lest ye die,
and lest wrath come upon all the people.
Leviticus 19:

19

Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind.

They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.
Hebrews 8:13 says "by calling this covenant new he has made the old one
obsolete and what is obsolete and aging will soon disappear."

Good morning class. [teachers name] Id like to remind you of a comment from
last week. I couldnt help but notice you were quoting Leviticus 19. This made me
realise how little this class actually knows about that entire book. You are
completely right, the passage suggests gay relationships are like incest. Because
obviously women are mens property. Men should NEVER lay with other men the
way they do women because men defiantly are not other mens property. Only
women are. Men shouldnt be controlled or owned, that is something completely
reserved for us girls. To be perfectly honest I dont know why Im even at this
school since Im obviously going to become a house wife to my wonderful
husband.
Or maybe even wife. The passage says nothing of women laying with women.
Nevertheless, I thought today I could tell you all of the wonderful book known as
Leviticus. Lets start at Leviticus 3. Do you guys like cheeseburgers? Well not
anymore because those are sins. You shall not eat fat. Say goodbye to that
melted cheese.
Does anyone own a pair of ripped jeans? Well now you have to throw them out
according to Leviticus 10. Torn clothes are sins. Oh, and while were on the topic
of clothes, Id just like to point out that sir, your polyester/cotton blend shirt is
also a sin. Leviticus 19:19.
Oh and, your short haircut and beard is another sin. Leviticus 19: 27 states Do
not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard.
[shrugs] Oh, well.
Leviticus 11 states that basically all the French should be put to death for eating
snails, and most of you should too for eating any type of shellfish. No more
lobster thats for sure.
Also, can someone later swing by the enviro club and to uh, well to rip up their
veggie garden? Im sure they had no idea but theyre actually sinning according
to Leviticus 19: 19, Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. [laughs] Im
sure theyll understand.
Man theyre cute, but does anyone have a husky-Pomeranian cross? Or really
any kind of cross bred animal? Im sorry, but theyre going to have to be put
down. Bible says so.
Im sure youre all looking at me thinking, wow [name], way to cherry pick the
bible, and sarcasm aside, I did. But so did you sir. Hebrews 8:13 says "by calling
this covenant new he has made the old one obsolete and what is obsolete and
aging will soon disappear." There is literally no reason why we should follow
Leviticus now that we have the New Testament. It is obsolete. OBSOLETE. The
bible itself says to no longer follow this book. Eat that cheese burger or that
lobster, rock those torn denim jeans, get rid of your beard, plant the vegetable
and, my god, love who you want. The most important verse in the bible is love
thy neighbour.
Some people say homosexuality is a sin, but its not. God is totally cool with it,
and he feels the same way about homosexuality that he does about
heterosexuality. Now you might say, whoa, whoa whoa, slow down. How can you
have the audacity to speak on Gods behalf?
Well I dont.
And I pray you remember that.