The Living Photograph

My small grandmother is tall there,

straight-back, white broderie anglaise shirt,
pleated skirt, flat shoes, grey bun,
2d1f
The persona's grandma was a fiercely brave person, a person who wasn't afraid of
death - "Her sharp blue eyes look her own death in the eye."
Note that her *spoiler* grandfewfmothers go.
Somewhere unknown, unthinkable.
However, the persona's grandma didn't stay like that in the photo. She started to
grow older and develop a hunch back. Dementia set in - "Her soup forgot to boil"
. And in the end, she died - "She went to the awful place grandmothers go." As a
kid, the persona didn't understand what that place was, it was just "unknown" an
d "unthinkable".
Note that in this stanza, the persona refers to her grandma in past tense when d
escribing her actual state before dying. As the grandma is described in past tens
e, this also shows that the persona is over the tragedy; and that this small, hu
nched back senile woman that was her grandma is now dead.
But there she is still,
in the photo with me at three,
the crinkled smile is still living, breathing.
Nonetheless, despite watching her grandma growing old and die, the memory of her
still lives on. The persona doesn't want to remember her grandma as old and seni
le, but she wants to remember her as how she was in the photo with her when she
was three years old - poised, loving and fierce. She will always be alive in her
heart and the good memories will live on, noted by the use of present tense once
again.
Two themes are clearly seen here. One, it is the positive image people create in
remembrance of a departed person. The persona wants to remember her grandma as ho
w she was in the photo, not the days before she died. When our loved ones die, we
no longer see the ugly side of a person, whether their physical appearance befo
re dying (aging, diseased,bad plastic surgery), their horrible attitude (was a b
itch/dick) or bad habits (substance abuse). We will remember them in their prime
age, the great things about them and their contribution to society. Look at how a
ll those hated, heavily criticised drug abusing, trash-talking, plastic surgeryloving celebrities are being revered and paid homage to only when in death. We fo
rget and forgive all their shortcomings, unfortunately, only when they die.
Another theme is the coping with grief and loss. And one way to cope with grief a
nd loss is to hang on to the good memories of a person, instead of remembering t
he painful way he or she died. The persona who was struck with grief by the loss
of her grandma found a way to cope with it - which is to keep it in her heart th
at although her grandma is not with her anymore physically, she is still alive i
n her heart. This is probably the best way to deal with loss, by telling ourselve
s that even though that person is not with us anymore, he or she will always be
with us in spirit. Believing in it brings comfort and closure.