Periscope

Masud Khan Shujon

Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking. J.C.

Watts

How do we take the measure of a person? How do we value a

persons worth? Do we just weigh her degrees, her titles, her hard
work, her steep climb up the corporate ladder, her net worth, her
fame, and her social standing? Or do we take the time to look at a
persons intrinsic value, how she treats others, how she takes care
of her family, how she gives off herself to others without
expectations, how she does the right thing without the need for a
thank you.

We often share with pride the successes of our brethren; the grades
they get, the universities they are accepted into, their academic
qualifications, their jobs and their wealth. But how often do we
highlight the accomplishments of those who shine by doing the right
thing; how often do we tell our children about those who do not
worship at the altar of material success, but toil to make the lives of
others richer?

Growing up in Dhaka, we were bombarded with stories of the uber

brilliant, the super achievers, the academic stars whom we were
taught to look up to, to aspire to be through hard work. In our
families, our mothers and aunts would hold up at least one of these
individuals as models of success, as the arbiters of good behaviour,
whose actions, work ethic and brilliance we should emulate. They
were our heroes, and we brought home the good grades, the
trophies to prove that we could stand shoulder to shoulder with
them. In adulthood, this focus on academics and hard work
translated into the right career, big house with the picket fences
and the nice cars. For many of us who moved to the States, this
work ethic paid fat dividends in the post Wall Street Greed is good
80s, the inflated bonuses and stock options of the dot-com 90s and,
of course, the party and spend now and pay later of what very
well may become the lost decade of 2000.

So, how we do we take the measure of a person?

Of course, we may celebrate a persons ability to acquire worldly

goods and status through intellectual strength and hard work. Of
course, we should toast those who impact the world around them
through their generation of output, wealth and ideas. Of course, we
should salute the builders, the wielders of power, the men and
women who are comfortable in the attire of greatness. But, isnt
there something more to look at when measuring the quality of a
person? When we talk to our children, when we share with our
families, when we add to the national conversation, should we not
also put on our pedestal the community builders, the silent ones
who care for others; should we not raise up on our collective
shoulders our day to day heroes whose stories become submerged
under the heavy news of the high-flyers?

Not only should we celebrate these unsung heroes, we need to; for
we need to be inspired differently; we need to aspire to be better
learners, not just better grade grubbers; better humans, not just
better earners; kinder, more co-operative citizens, and not just civil
society criers asking -- for every problem, what more can the
government do (knowing full well that the governments impotence
and inefficiency will result in more corruption if it attempts to do
more).

On a personal level, I am deeply flawed and, therefore I must

constantly look to and appreciate the good deeds of others, so that I
may be inspired to continue my attempts at being a better person.
When I see and appreciate my sisters complete selflessness, her
intense focus on the wellbeing of her family and friends, her utter
dedication to making sure that we all are cared for, I find that I stop
charging through the day in my mad schedule and take time to call
my mother and see if she needs anything, or play chess with my
seven year old, or just simply listen to my wife share about her day.
For those brief moments, I become a better me, as I try to be
someone whom I respect. When I see a close friend who is
constantly there to help others now dedicate himself to taking care
of his ailing mother, give her constant assurance and strength when
she needs it most, I am reminded that we will not be remembered
for the jobs we did, but for the people we took care of; my friend
may not be a superstar banker or an entrepreneur, but he and
people like him are beacons that guide us to be more loving, kind
and compassionate.

How do we take the measure of a person? If we are not already

doing so, we must put equal or greater value on the persons
character and not just her success, on her generosity, compassion
and ability to love, and not just on her intellectual prowess. The
more we value such characteristics, the more we look to mold
ourselves to want those values. If we embrace these values as
individuals, we may collectively see a change in the arc of our
society; by embracing these values, we may take a possible detour
in our journey, from decline to resurgence.