*****

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall
asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and po
tentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insign
ificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it t
ell you?"
Holmes is silent for a moment, and then speaks.
"Someone has stolen our tent".
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Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil: "The moon".
Teacher: "Why?"
Pupil: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us li
ght only in the day time when we don't need it".
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Waiter: "Would you like to have black coffee?"
Customer: "What other colors do you have?"
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My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affai
rs.
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Teacher: "Sam, you talk a lot!
Sam: "It's a family tradition".
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Sam: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher: "What about your mother?"
Sam: "She's a woman".
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Tom: "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repea
ted".
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Teacher: "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what v
irtue would I be showing?"
Student: "Brotherly love".
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Teacher: "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam: "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
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Patient: "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor: "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people d
ie of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all
died".
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Teacher: "! George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, bu
t also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?
One Student: Because George still had the axe in is hand."
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Think twice next time you jump into a stranger s car!
This story happened about a month ago, in a little town in Mexico, and even thou
gh it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale it's real.
This guy was on the side of the road, hitch hiking, on a very dark night and in
the middle of a storm. The night was black and no cars went by. The storm was so
strong; he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car comi
ng towards him. It stopped. The guy, without thinking about it, got in the car,
closed the door and then realized there was nobody behind the wheel.
The car started slowly. The guy looks at the road and sees a curve coming his wa
y. Scared he starts to pray begging for his life. He hasn't come out of shock, w
hen just before he hits the curve, a hand appears thru the window and moves the
wheel. The guy paralyzed in terror, watches how the hand appears every time they
get to a curve.
The guy, gathering strength, gets out of the car and runs to the nearest town. W
et and in shock, he goes to a cantina and asks for two shots of tequila, and sta
rts telling everybody about the horrible experience he just went thru. A silence
enveloped everybody when they realized the guy is crying and isn't drunk.
About half an hour later, two guys walked in the same cantina and one said to th
e other. "Look Dad, there's the jerk that got in the car when we were pushing it
!!!
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There was this case in the hospital's Intensive care ward where patients always
died in the same bed and on Sunday morning at 11a.m., regardless of their medica
l condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had somethin
g to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deat
hs took place at 11 AM. So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they dec
ided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the
next Sunday morning few minutes before 11a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously
waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was
all about.
Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward of
f evil........
Just when the clock struck 11...
...
...
...
...
Bhola, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life sup
port system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner.