JOKES

(1) Son: What do I write against my mother tongue?

Dad: Very Long…

(2) Son: Dad, main jawan kab banuga k main mummy ko bina bataye ghar k
bahar ja saku??
Dad: Puttar itna jawan to aajtak main bhi nahi huva…!!!

(3) Premika – Mein ma ban ne wali hu… Premi – kya bakwas kar rahi ho??
Premika – bakwas nahi, mein tumhare baap se shadi karke tumhari maa ban
ne wali hu…

(4) If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments…

(5) A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well…

(6) US Tourist: Any great man born here?

Santa: No Sir, only babies…

(7) Teacher: A for?

Chintu: Apple.
Teacher: Jor se bolo?
Chintu: Jay mata di…

(8) Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment
for a bachelor & for a Married Man it is a matter of SURVIVAL…

(9) Why are wives more dangerous than Mafia??? The Mafia wants either
your money or life… The wives want BOTH!!!!!!!!
(10) A girl to Sardar: Can you tell me how many jokes are there on
SARDARs??? Sardar: Hardly 2 or max 3, rest are all TRUE STORIES..!!!!!
(11) Teacher: Write an essay on a cricket match…
Jim: Rains!!! NO match!!

(12) Q: What has 4 wheels and flies???

A: Garbage truck!!!

(13) From where to where did the Mughals rule? Ram: Sir, from page 15 to
26…
(14) Only 20% boys have brains. Rests have Girlfriends…
(15) Boy: Are you sure that you only love me? Girl: Ya. I checked the
list…
(16) What is the difference between wife & girlfriend? Answer: about 45
kilos…
(17) Why do women live longer, happier? Because they don’t have
wives…
(18) Sir: Oxygen is must for breathing. It was discovered in 1773… Santa:
Thank god!!! Was born after that…
(19) Man1: I do not want to marry because I m afraid of woman. Man2:
Get married soon, and then you will be afraid of only one woman and start
loving other…
(20) Imagine the floor you are climbing catches fire, how will you escape?
Stop your imagination…
(21) Sardar- kal mujhe dus logo ne pita.
Frnd- fir tune kya kiya?
Sardar- maine kaha salo1-1 karke aao
 Frnd- fir?
Sardar- fir kya, salo ne 1-1 karke dobara pita…

(22) Jodha-akbar aur Dipika Padukone me kya similarity kya he…??????

 Acchi he par thodi lambi he…
(23) Hoothon pe haa hai, dil me naa hai… hoothon pe haa hai, dil me naa
hai…wah wah… Shashi kapoor kehta hai mera paas maa hai!!!!
(24) Teacher: Soch aur weham main kya fark he? Student: Aap ki beti sexy
hain, ye hamari soch hai… lekin wo humse bach jayegi, ye aapka weham
hai…
(25) Define GUTS ???  Its when your boy friend or girl friend catches
you in theatre wid another boy/girl and you say… “Love u Darling, next
show is with you.”
(26) The ultimate shayari:- Yashomati maiya se bole nandlala…
Yashomati maiya se bole nandlala…tata sky LAGA DALA TO LIFE
JINGA LALA…!!!!!
(27) A teacher to bapu: “dharo ke tamara left pocket ma 1000rs chhe! Ane
right pocket ma 1000rs chhe, to tame su vicharso???? Bapu: saalu… aa pent
konu hase..???
(28) Santa: yaar tu itna bada ho gaya aur abhi tak dadhi-mooch nahi aayi?
Banta: yaar main apni ma pe gaya hu…
(29) Wife: mujhe kisi mehangi jagah le jao na… Husband: Chalo taiyar ho
jao… Wife: kaha jana he? Husband: Petrol pump…!!!!!!
(30) Ladka achanak ladki ko dekh kar kehta hai lafz tere geet mere ghazal
koi sunaon kya? Ladki, hath mere gal tere, kaan k neeche bajaun kya…????
(31) Ek sardar se bus me galti se ek ladki ko dhaaka lag gaya… To ladki
boli: kya kar rahe ho? Sardar: Punjab university se B.A… Aur aap???
(32)