Banta Singh : “Yaar Santa, last year the name plate outside your house read Santa Singh,

B.A. This year

it reads Santa Singh, M.A.When did you finish your Masters Degree?”
Santa Singh : You don’t understand. Last year my wife died, I put B.A. to indicate “Bachelor Again”.
Then I took a second wife, So M.A. is “Married Again”.

Banta thought he was dead, but in reality he was very much alive.His delusion became such a problem
that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince Banta that he is still alive. Nothing
seemed to work.
Finally the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical books and proceeded to show Banta
that dead men don’t bleed. After hours of tedious study, Banta seemed convinced that dead men don’t
bleed.
“Do you now agree that dead men don’t bleed?” the doctor asked.
“Yes, I do,” Banta replied.
“Very well, then,” the doctor said.
He took out a pin and pricked the patient’s finger. Out came a trickle of blood.
The doctor asked, “What does that tell you?”
“Oh my goodness!” Banta exclaimed as he stared incredulously at his finger … “Dead men do bleed!!”

While visiting Santa’s house, Banta noticed that he had replaced his usual TV with a smaller model.
Thinking that perhaps the larger set has broken down, Banta asked why the small one was there.
“Oh,” Santa replied, “I have decided to watch less T.V.”

Santa: Why didn’t you marry?

Banta: I was searching for an ideal match.
Santa: So, you didn’t find an ideal girl?
Banta: I found one.
Santa: Then?
Banta: She was also searching for an ideal match.

Banta : Wo ladki deaf lagti hai. Main kuch kehta hoon, woh kuch aur hi bolti hai.
Santa : Kaise?
Banta : Maine kaha I Luv U, To woh boli “Maine kal hi naye sandal kharide hain”.

k baar ek Totaa (Bole to Parrot) Ud raha tha full speed par.

Uske saamne achanak full speed mein ek Ferrari aa rahi thi, dono ki takkar hui…
Totaa behosh hoga ya, raste mein ek bhikari tha usne Totaa ko uthaya aur ghar le gaya.
Usko marham lagaya aur pinjare mein rakh diya.
Jab Totaa ko hosh aaya, usne apne aap ko pinjare mein dekha.
Aur bola, “Aalia … JAIL …. Woh Ferrari ka driver mar gaya kya ??

A panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special and eats it. After eating, he pulls out a
pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door.
The owner of the restaurant says, “Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and
walk away without saying a word. I don’t understand.”
The panda says, “Look it up in the dictionary,” and walks out of the door.
So the owner gets out a dictionary and looks under the heading “Panda”. It reads:
“Panda black and white animal; lives in central China; eats shoots and leaves.”

Teacher : Agar tumhari aik Pocket me

 500 Rs ho aur doosri mein

1000, to tum kya Sochogay ?

Santa: Yahi k mene kisi aur k Paint pehen li hai

Santa: Bhai saheb 2 ticket dena.

Conductor: 2 Q?

Santa: 1 kho jaye to dusri kaam ayegi

Conductor: dono kho gayi to?

Santa..pass hai na.

Girlfriend- Tum to bas apne kam me lage rehte ho.

Meri to koi parwah hi nahi hai tumhe.

Santa- Oye,Pyar karne wale kisi ki parwah nahi

karte

kise kabhi n chuka sako wo LOAN he HUM

Jo hamesha bajti rahe wo TONE he HUM

 Is sms ki duniya k DON he HUM

Ab to pehchn gaye na kon he HUM

Kabi kushi kabi gam..

Mere msg na honge kum...

Kabi alvida na kahna..

msg karte rehna...

Dhoom..

Mere sms padh kar jhum...

Phir hera pheri..

Ab msg ki teri bari ...