I Confess That I Have Lived My Life Fadhil Al-Azzawi I confess that I have lived my life.

I tasted so many things and forgot thousands more. I loved women. I forgot to count how many cried over me. I found friends for good times and friends for bad ones. I lived among forgotten victims and learned with my skin the whips of executioners in prison cells. I stood before unjust courts, accused of blind love. I wandered from desert to desert and set up my tent in fairyland. I let my horse drink from the waters of Al-Kawthar* I slept among thieves on the shores of the Tigris and sometimes lived in the castles of kings. I traveled to cities swimming in darkness. I sat in the sun and walked through snow, changed one land with another, one pair of shoes with another. I burned so many bridges behind me and sailed on seas that could never be crossed. In a time of drought, I sowed seeds in the valley of friends. In darkness, I lit thousands of candles. Under the waking moon, I sighed like an old man in love and wandered between continents. How many times have I built paper palaces in my dreams? How many times have I swapped reality for illusion? I have told the truth and I have also lied. I have doubted a little and I have believed a little. I have smoked all brands of cigarettes, drank in bars the best vintage wines and written the poems of my life. I have laughed so much in this world. I have cried so much in this world. I have passed by like a light flashing in the night. I have been here and I have seen. I have stayed and I have left. I confess that I have lived my life. *a river in Paradise