Two Stories with Potential that Go Nowhere (and drive me nuts) By rosewater49

There is this guy that hates his job. All his coworkers (except the boss and who gives shit what he thinks anyway?) hate their jobs as well. The guy decided to change his last name to Broccoli. He wanted people to call him Brock as a nick name, thought it sounded cool. His friend and car pool partner asked him why he didn't change his name to Brock The guy said "then my last name would my nickname and that wouldnt be a nickname, would it?" His friend said "so what?" The guy said, "do you like people calling you Freedmont?" I don't care, said the friend. Well I do, said the guy, I don't like people disrespecting me that way. Disrespecting?, said his friend, where have you been hanging out? Under a bridge? You know what I mean, said the friend, if you let people call you by your last name, you are admitting you are inferior to them. The boss calls you Broccoli, thats your name, right? The boss is a dick, shot back the guy. Can't you just assume that anyone who calls you broccoli is a dick? asked his friend. They are! exclaimed the guy. Well then there you go, problem solved. One day after work the guy said, The boss wanted some of us to straighten out the files but I did it myself. You did it yourself? Said the friend, what do you mean by that? I did it myself, came the answer. As opposed to you doing it themselves? the friend quizzed. Guy, What the hell are you talking about? Friend, Why didn't you just say, I did it?" I did, guy getting pissed. No, you said I did it myself, snickered the friend. That's right guy now more pissed. Why do you have to say myself? said the friend. Because I did it myself, yelled the guy, are you nuts? Friend to guy, I hate it when people say things like we did that ourselves or I thought that up myself, it's redundant and a waste of breath. Well excuse the fuck out of me, professor, don't listen then, moaned the guy. Friend - How can I not, everywhere you turn there are people saying stupid shit like that, it drives me crazy! Jesus said the guy.

1 07/22/2011