CHAPTER 3

Improving Writing Techniques

Formal Research Methods for Gathering Information

Search manually (books, magazines, journals). Access electronically (Internet, databases, compact discs). Go to the source (interviews, surveys, questionnaires, focus groups). Conduct scientific experiments (measure variables using control groups).

Informal Research Methods for Gathering Information

Look in organization files. Talk with your boss. Interview the target audience. Conduct an informal survey. Brainstorm for ideas.

Format for an Outline

Tips for Making Outlines

Organizing Business Messages

DIRECT STRATEGY
Main idea comes first followed by details and explanations

Organizing Business Messages

Explanation precedes main idea

INDIRECT STRATEGY

DIRECT STRATEGY

 Saves readers time  Sets a proper frame of mind  Prevents frustration  Appears businesslike

Advantages
INDIRECT STRATEGY
Respects feelings of audience Encourages a fair hearing Minimizes a negative reaction

DIRECT STRATEGY

 Receiver is receptive  Receiver requires no education about topic  Message is routine

Useful When
INDIRECT STRATEGY
Receiver may be upset Receiver may be hostile Receiver must be persuaded or educated Message is sensitive

Effective Sentences
Complete Sentences Clauses Phrases

Complete sentences have subjects and verbs and make sense (are capable of standing alone).

subject verb Employees send many e-mail messages.

Complete Sentences

Clauses

Phrases

Clauses also have subjects and verbs. Independent clauses can stand alone. Dependent clauses rely on independent clauses for their meaning.
dependent clause independent clause

When you speak, you reveal yourself.

Complete Sentences

Clauses

Phrases

Phrases are groups of related words without subjects and verbs.

phrase phrase

In the afternoon, I work at the mall.

Avoid sentence fragments. Fragment Even though the pay was low. Many candidates applied. Revision: Even though the pay was low, many candidates applied.

Avoid sentence fragments.

Avoid runon (fused) sentences.

Fused Sentences Two candidates applied only one was hired.

Revisions:
Two candidates applied. Only one was hired. Two candidates applied; only one was hired. Two candidates applied, but only one was hired.

Avoid sentence fragments.

Avoid runon (fused) sentences.

Avoid commasplice sentences.

Comma Splice Many were qualified, Jeff was hired.

Revisions:
Many were qualified. Jeff was hired. Many were qualified; Jeff was hired. Many were qualified; however, Jeff was hired. Many were qualified, but Jeff was hired.

Revise the following to avoid fragments, run-on sentences, and comma-splices.

You can create a Webbased job portfolio it will impress potential employers. Send a scannable rsum. When you apply for a job. You can create a Web-based job portfolio; it will impress potential employers. Send a scannable rsum when you apply for a job.

Revise the following to avoid fragments, run-on sentences, and comma-splices.

Although technical skills are important. Communication skills are also in great demand. College used to be for young people, however many older students now seek degrees.

Although technical skills are important, communication skills are also in great demand.
College used to be for young people; however, many older students now seek degrees.

Revise the following to avoid fragments, run-on sentences, and comma-splices.

Technology is changing the business world people are writing more messages than ever before. Technology is changing the business world. People are writing more messages than ever before. OR: Technology is changing the business world; people are . . . .

Revise the following to avoid fragments, run-on sentences, and comma-splices. Executives are busy, they won't read wordy messages and reports.
Executives are busy. They won't read wordy messages and reports. OR: Executives are busy; they won't read . . . .

Emphasis Through Mechanics

Underlining: Which of these methods do you prefer? Italics and Boldface: The use of boldface and italics captures the readers attention. All Caps: Notice how EXPENSE-FREE stands out.

Dashes: Other methodsincluding dashesmay be used.

Tabulation: listing items vertically emphasizes them: 1. First item 2. Second item 3. Third item

Active- and Passive-Voice Verbs

Active-voice verbs show the subject performing the action.

Most major employers require drug testing.

(Active voice; the subject is acting)

Dr. Smith recommended Tina for the job.

(Active voice; the subject is acting)

In passive-voice sentences, the subject is being acted upon. Passive-voice verbs require helper verbs, such as is and was in these examples:
Drug testing is required by most major employers. (Passive voice; the subject is being acted upon) Tina was recommended for the job by Dr. Smith. (Passive voice; the subject is being acted upon)

 Use the active voice for most business writing. Use the passive voice to emphasize an action or the recipient of the action rather than the actor (Specialists were hired; Laura was honored). Use the passive voice to break bad news (Although your lease cannot be renewed, we can offer . . . ).

Convert the following sentences to active voice. You may have to add a subject.
Our membership meeting was postponed by the president.

The president postponed our membership meeting.

The rsums of job candidates are sorted quickly by the software program Resumix.

The software program Resumix sorts rsums of job candidates quickly.

Convert the following sentences to active voice. You may have to add a subject.
We were given our orders by the manager. The manager gave us our orders.

Our intranet is used by employees to complete forms.

Employees use our intranet to complete forms.

Convert the following sentences to passive voice.

We must delay shipment of your merchandise because of heavy demand. Management rejected our plan. Your merchandise shipment must be delayed because of heavy demand. Our plan was rejected by management.

Developing Parallelism
Parallel expression results from balanced construction. Match nouns with nouns, verbs with verbs, phrases with phrases, and clauses with clauses.

Poor
Training sessions have been stimulating and a challenge.

Parallel
Training sessions have been stimulating and challenging.
(Matching endings of verbals)

Poor
We are very concerned with the quality of raw materials, where they are located, and how much it costs to transport them.

Parallel
We are very concerned with the quality, location, and transportation costs of raw materials.
(Matching nouns)

Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers

For clarity, modifiers must be close to the words they describe or limit. Be particularly careful to place a logical subject immediately after an introductory verbal phrase.

Poor
Any student has full online privileges who is enrolled in the college.

Revised
Any student who is enrolled in the college has full online privileges.

Poor
Its hard to understand why employees would not go to our technical support staff with software problems.

Revised
Its hard to understand why employees with software problems would not go to our technical support staff.

Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers. Retain the introductory phrase. She died in the house in At the age of 88, she which she was born at died in the house in the age of 88. which she was born.

Despite being paralyzed, doctors hoped that Mark would walk again.

Despite Mark's paralysis, doctors hoped that he would walk again.

Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph Coherence

To help guide your reader or listener from one thought to another, develop coherence by using one of these devices:

X Repeat a key idea or key word(s).

Next month we plan to launch a promotion for our new Web site. The promotion will involve newspaper and TV campaigns.

Y Use a pronoun.
Considerable interest is now being shown in our extended certificates of deposit. They are more profitable when left on deposit for long periods of time.

Z Use an appropriate transitional expression.

Time Association before, after first, second meanwhile next until when, whenever

Contrast although but however instead nevertheless on the other hand

CauseEffect consequently for this reason hence therefore

Composing the First Draft

Complete all necessary research. Find a quiet place to concentrate and work. Prohibit calls, visitors, and interruptions. Organize information using an outline. Decide whether to sprint write (get your thoughts down quickly and revise later) or revise as you go. Imagine you are talking to a reader or listener.