Nama Sutra

By Anantha Narayan

The Nomenclature of Terror

Terrorists are awfully boring folks. They plant explosives across the world but fail to have a blast in their personal lives. They kill people at will but dont live a life worth dying for. They have the knives to decapitate the Daniel Pearls but not the razors to shave their grisly facial hair. Their gunshots are bang on target but their mug shots make you recoil. Before you start pitying these son-of-a-guns, let me clarify that all this symbolism is a carefully orchestrated cosmetic exercise to appropriate the halo of the faceless sacrificer. Every single terrorist follows this unwritten code. Thats why, Dhanu didnt wear a Manish Malhotra styled outfit when she triggered that infamous belt bomb. Thats also why youll never get to see an Al Qaeda approach a Shombit Sengupta for an expensive logo. This need to not attract attention and yet sound sufficiently revolutionary is the recurring theme that can even be spotted in names of terrorist organizations. Otherwise why would Lashkar-e-Toiba (LET) choose a virtuous name that means Army of the Good? Wouldnt a name like Kashmirs Killer Kidnappers (KKK) suit them better? The curious thing to note is most terrorists just love to picture themselves as a righteous breed fighting for a lofty cause. The obsession with the Army imagery amplifies this trait. Irish Republican Army (IRA), Jaish-e-Mohammad (Army of Mohammad in Urdu) and Khalistan Commando Force illustrate the point. Many outfits seem to entertain the fallacious notion that the word Liberation adds a Che Guerra like aura to the cause. Thats the reason for a whole panoply of names like Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE), Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO), United Liberation Front of Asom (ULFA) and National Liberation Army (a Marxist guerilla group in Colombia). The thing to remember is if youre a terrorist organization, you should never have a khatarnaak or bayaanak name. Always make sure, you keep it drab and include words from the revolutionary lexicon along with a suitable prefix or suffix to indicate country of origin. For example, Al Gore wont work. Al Soldier of Liberation of America will. Found a name that terrorizes you? Do write to anantha@albertdali.com.