Who I Am and Who I Choose To Become

A Personal Manifesto By Trevor McGarrah July 2012 Introduction Over the last few weeks and months, I have had more time to ponder about my personal beliefs and ideals than at any other time of my life. I've always been too busy studying, working, or taking care of personal and family obligations to take time to just reflect on who I am, what I stand for, and who I envision myself as in the future. At times during this process of self-reflection it felt like I held conflicting beliefs and opinions, but as I dug deeper, I realized that there was no conflict at all, but just a limited understanding of how these beliefs and opinions are intimately connected. The things I express in this manifesto are a result of the evolution of my thoughts, beliefs, and ideals as I have aged and matured to this point in my life. Some of these are still in the process of evolving. Many of these I would never have realized unless I took the time to sit and reflect. What I outline in this treatise is this evolution, and in some cases where I envision myself as I continue on this path of self-discovery. My hopes with this personal manifesto is to put into words some conclusions and insight I have gained from this process. I am also sharing this with family and friends so they too can gain a glimpse of who I am and who I desire to become. I also encourage each of you to take the time to create your own manifesto and declare what you personally believe. Family First I grew up in a family that exemplified this belief. My parents were always willing to drop any of their own hobbies or relaxation time, in order to give us a memorable and great childhood. This included allowing us to play organized sports, take musical lessons, family road trips, or participate in other extracurricular activities. My parents showed me what it meant to love by doing. They were always there for us. They helped us with homework. They read books to us. They helped us practice sports. They stayed up late

with us to help on school projects. They tried their best to meet our needs and many of our wants. I never heard them complain about their sacrifices for us and they seemed to always do it with a smile. Because of them, I am eternally indebted. I have been blessed with two sisters and a brother who have taught me a lot as well. I don't recall bitter resentment or lasting arguments with any of them. They are the earliest friendships I developed. Above all, I know I can always count on them to be there for me. I always tried my best to be a good example and the type of brother they deserved. That does not mean I was perfect and did not make mistakes. It just meant that I always tried to consider their feelings. Now as a husband and a father, it my duty and responsibility to do as my parents did. This is not a burden, but rather a privilege. I am far from perfect. I have plenty of room to grow and to improve as a husband and father. I can do a better job of showing my love. I have the example of my parents to follow, so I know it can be done. As I strive to improve in putting my family first, I know I will have the greatest joy and fulfillment a man can have. For once I leave this Earth, it is not my career or hobbies that will be remembered. The things that will be remembered is the love and dedication I share with my children, which they too can pass on to their posterity. Don't Worry Perhaps one of the greatest things I have come to realize is the power of living a worry-free life. I'm not talking about the kind of worry that is casual wondering about the potential outcomes of an event or choice. I am not talking about the thinking about life and the trials and obstacles that come along the way. I'm talking about a nearly paralyzing fear of the unknown, and the inability to handle the difficulties that lie ahead. I'm talking about the kind of worry that prevents people from taking any action in their life. I'm talking about the worry that causes people to live a life ridden with regret. The kind of worry that can lead to paralyzing depression, and the inability to think clearly and form a plan of action. This is the kind of worry I am referring to. Life becomes so much more manageable when we stop worrying. Since my days in high school I have lived by this tenant: Don't worry about things beyond your control, as no amount of thought or wonder will have any impact on the outcome. If it is something within your control, don't worry about it, but rather develop some plan of action that will result in a desirable outcome, and put it into action. I have realized that living by this tenant eliminates more than 90% of the stresses in life.

For example, when I was laid off from my job, it did me no good to sit around, mope, or dwell on the circumstances of why I was let go, or to worry about the future of my family's existence. Succumbing to this kind of worry would have been counterproductive. I would have been no better off, so I did not worry. I took a day and a weekend to contemplate the situation and devise a plan. Then on that following Monday, I put the plan into action. I have not yet realized the full fruits of the plan, but I have prevented the ill effects of worrying about something beyond my control. Forgive and Forget The other 10% of stress can be eliminated by living by this tenant: Forgive and forget. Let bygones be bygones. If someone has done something wrong to you, or injured you emotionally, physically, or spiritually, you do not have to let that injury fester. By allowing the wound to heal, it prevents your mind and thoughts from being filled with torment, pain, and possibly even thoughts of revenge. To this point in my life I feel I have lived by this tenant very well. I do not dwell on things people have said or done to me that are unpleasant. There was a time when I would contemplate possible ways to seek revenge, or to get even with the individual that did me harm, but I found the act unrewarding and unfulfilling. Upon closer reflection, I realized that in many cases, but not all, that the action that offended me or hurt me were unintentional. Nothing ill was meant by the words or action, but was done out of jest, not malice. I was the one that blow the incident out of proportion. I have often reflected on my own actions and words, and have realized that I too may have caused some harm to others, whether intentionally or accidentally. I am truly sorry for the wrong I have caused to others and seek their forgiveness for these mistakes. That being said, I do not believe I have caused anyone irreparable harm, and for this I am grateful. Of course, there are times when people will intentionally try to harm you, hurt you, or destroy you. I have come to the realization that even in these cases it is possible and necessary to forgive and forget. As I have tried to live a life where I will not hurt or harm another person, I have accepted that I am not perfect, and that I will make mistakes. Because of my own imperfection, it has helped me to be able to look past the wrongs that have been played upon me. Because I know I would want to be forgiven in a similar situation, I seek to forgive those who have wronged me, even if the individual is unremorseful and does not seek my forgiveness. It at least gives me peace of mind to forgive them, and then to move on with my life. Without forgiveness, there is no way to truly move on. Too much time would be wasted and unproductive to dwell on the mistakes of others, as there is not enough time in a

life to dwell upon these errors. Therefore, it is of utmost importance to learn to forgive others, then move on, and forget. Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness From the United States' Declaration of Independence, we read, We hold these truths to be selfevident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. This is perhaps one of the most powerful sentences ever written in the English language. Every man, woman, and child are created equal; not equal in appearance, stature, or abilities, but equal in their right to the access of the rights and privileges of every human being. With so much inequality in access to money, training, and opportunities, the equal access to basic human rights does not seem fair, or enough. I have learned that it does no good to question my circumstance or the circumstance of others; it goes back to the tenant of not worrying about things beyond my control. Instead, it is enough for me to know that I have the same basic human rights as everyone else; namely life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Of the three basic human rights, the most basic of these is the right to life. From the moment of conception, I had the right to life. I was not just a tumor growing within my mother, but a separate individual. Others may feel that this growth inside of a woman does not have the right to life until it is able to sustain life outside of its mother. I have a strong conviction that because this growth, this fetus, this individual is the critical beginning of a person, that the right to life begins within the womb at conception, as it is the beginning of a new person. The right to life means that no one has the authority to take away that life. No one has the authority to enslave or imprison that life. The only time the right to life can be forfeited is when a person denies another individual of their right to life, but only then under the strictest of guidelines and overwhelming evidence that the punishment fits the crime. The right to liberty is the next most important right. I think many people assume liberty means freedom. In a sense this is correct; but liberty means more than just freedom. Liberty is the state of being free within society from oppressive restrictions imposed by authority on one's way of life. Society must have some restrictions in order to maintain order. Society could not function if murder, theft, etc. were commonplace. Thus, liberty is not about having a life free from any and all restrictions, but instead, having a life free of oppressive restrictions. An oppressive restriction is any restriction that unjustly inflicts hardship and constraint, especially on a minority or other subordinate group. In other words, this oppression limits the rights and privileges by and through unfair treatment and restriction.

Often the result of such oppression is the elevation of one group over another, even at the expense of another group. More often than not, this oppression allows one group the right and privilege that is denied to the repressed group, for no other reason than bigotry. I find such actions deplorable in a modern society. The third basic human right is the right to pursue happiness. There is no guarantee that this happiness will be achieved, but we are free to strive for such happiness in our lives. Due to hardships, obstacles, and circumstances beyond your control, the happiness you pursue may not be obtained. But as a wise person once said and I now paraphrase, Life is not the destination, but the journey. Joy can come from setting goals and working towards them. I have a right to pursue happiness. You have the same right. No one should have the authority to thwart this pursuit just because they don't agree with the object of our desire, so long as this desire does not infringe upon another person's rights and privileges. Happiness is a moving, flowing, evolving target throughout life. It constantly changes. What makes one person happy will not necessarily grant another person the same happiness or fulfillment. Thus, it is important that every person be granted their ability to pursue whatsoever will make them happiest in life, inasmuch as this pursuit does not violate or deny another person of their basic human rights. It is the duty and obligation of the government to ensure these basic rights to its citizens. Anything beyond ensuring these rights to its people is allowing the government too much power and control over our personal lives. It is my duty and responsibility to live by the precepts above and to ensure the government does not abuse its powers. Standing Up for and Defending Rights and Privileges I firmly believe I have the right to stand up to defend my rights and privileges. If I feel that if I am being unfairly or unjustly treated, or if I am being persecuted or having restrictions put upon me, then it is my duty and responsibility to speak out and to do whatever is necessary and expedient under the law to make sure my rights and privileges are not revoked or infringed upon. I want all of my rights and privileges preserved, maintained, and expanded wherever possible, thus I must also stand up for the rights and privileges of others, even if I disagree with their choices or actions. If I idly allow the rights and privileges of someone else to be taken away, then I stand in danger of eventually having my rights and privileges taken away as well. By allowing any person, organization, or government to limit my access, or someone else's

access to the basic rights and privileges granted to us, it will only strengthen that individual, organization, or government and thus grant them too much control over our personal lives and choices. This ultimately allows them to decide everything for us and would result in slavery to causes and ideals that are not our own. It may start with me allowing the government to control something I am unopposed to them controlling or limiting as it has no impact on me and my rights and privileges. However, as they grow stronger, they will seek more and more ways to gain control and power. Eventually, they will find a way to limit something, or take away one of my rights that I hold dearly. The problem is, I allowed the government that power when they limited the rights and privileges of others in the first place. Thus, to defend my rights and privileges, I must also stand up for the rights and privileges of others, including those I personally disagree with. Thus, though I am opposed to smoking tobacco and drinking alcohol, I should not idly allow the government to legislate away this right of others. Another prime example of this is the current issue of gay marriage. Many Christians find the act to be a sin and thus should not be allowed to take place. They often feel this is a direct attack on families and morality. They are using their own religious bias to limit the rights and privileges of a group they happen to disagree with and to openly limit the privilege of marriage to everyone. This is bigotry. This is trying to legislate morality, which is not the function of government. The function of government is to maintain civility and to protect our rights and privileges. In my mind, just because a gay couple chooses to be married, that choice and action does not limit my right to marry. It does not degrade the importance of my marriage to my wife, or the promises I have made as a part of the ceremony. In no way, shape, or form does it undermine any of my rights or privileges. Thus, it makes no sense for me to willingly allow the government to prevent other law abiding citizens from having a similar ceremony. I am a member of a religious sect that has been illegally persecuted and discriminated against throughout its history. To a large extent, we are still greatly misunderstood, even today, though examples of discrimination and persecution seem to have subsided. I know what it is like to part of a minority that has not always been granted the same rights and privileges to worship as we see fit. Likewise, I can feel for the group of people who feel that they too are being denied the basic privilege of publicly affirming their love and commitment to another person. As gay marriage does not infringe on the rights and privileges of those who disagree with the practice, then I see no reason why this basic privilege should be denied to them based solely on the bigotry of a religious majority. As I mentioned before, as I do not want the government infringing on any of my rights and privileges, I feel it is my moral obligation to not oppose gay marriage, and to defend their right and privilege to partake in one of

the most basic societal units. Be the Change You Want to See in the World Mahatma Gandhi once said, Be the change you want to see in the world. For years, this has been one of my favorite quotes. I have long thought this is a principle I have lived by. However, during the course of meditation and reflection as I have been working on this manifesto, I have realized I have lacked the key ingredient to fully live by the precepts of Gandhi's teaching. Gandhi did not say to only wish the change, hope the change, or accept the change. He said to be the change. The verb 'be' means to exist or live. Thus to be the change I must become the change, to live the change, to cause the change to exist. To put it simply, I must act to make the changes I wish to see occur in the world. It does me no good to passively hope and wish that the change will occur. I must act! For far too long I have idly sat back and watched the world and actions of others, which is the exact opposite of acting. I have mistakenly believed that the mere thinking and wishing for the changes was enough. It has made me become too complacent. I must actively stand up and pursue the things I want and I envision. If I had not endeavored to create this manifesto, I would have missed out on the very principle that Gandhi meant. He meant for everyone, including me, to not just passively sit by and watch. He realized change requires action. Change requires the realization that things can and must be different. The process may be difficult and much opposition may arise along the way, but the end result is living a life with real meaning. I have wasted too much of my life just letting things happen and accepting the status quo. Enough is enough. As of today, I solemnly vow to be the change I want to see in the world! I will not let my life waste away in idleness; I want my life to have meaning. I must be the change. Constant State of Learning One of the traits I have tried to develop is to always be in a constant state of learning. I estimate that 95% of all of my reading is non-fiction. Topics have changed through the years, but have resulted in me constantly learning something new, whether it is conspiracy theories, biographies, US history, how to books, investment books, dinosaurs, philosophy, religious commentary, etc. This is perhaps one of the most important traits to develop, as it is the means to future growth and opportunities. It has enlarged my thinking and made me a more complete and knowledgeable

individual. As a result, I typically am able to learn new things very quickly, and have also been able to draw connections between unrelated topics in order to see how many things are intricately related and feed off of seemingly unrelated things. By always trying to learn something new, it keeps the mind sharp and fresh. It helps throw off complacency. It helps me to be more open-minded. It helps me to draw a more complete picture of the world. It helps me to draw connections between seemingly unrelated thoughts and ideas. It has helped me become the person I am today, and ultimately will allow me to become the person I seek to become. Be Open-Minded Another trait I have tried to develop is the trait of open-mindedness. It is surprising how much you can learn by actually listening to and trying to understand opinions and ideas contrary to your own way of thinking. Many people are afraid to do this because they feel it will cause them to be shaken from their deepest held beliefs. I have discovered that more often than not, this practice has solidified many of my own beliefs. In the times that my beliefs have changed, I have found that they have been changed for the better. In order to truly be open-minded, one must be willing to figuratively and literally walk in the shoes of the other person. No judging or scrutinizing is allowed in this initial phase. You must truly learn to see the world from the other person's point of view. This does not mean that you forfeit your own world views, but rather just learn to hold your own beliefs silent during the process of trying to understand something different than what you believe. This often will require you to take on a whole different set of beliefs and ideas at once. It is difficult to do, but can and must be done in order to become truly open-minded. Only after this successful phase can any sort of comparison be made. Examine similarities first, then look at the differences. Try to understand why the similarities exist. In my experience, there is always some point of similarity between even the most divergent points of views or opinions. Once similarities are compared, only then should the differences be examined. This allows you to first develop a sense of understanding and find some common ground, thus allowing you to more effectively contrast the differences without being judgmental. Do not judge something that is different as being inherently wrong, rather, seek to understand why the differences exist. Next, seek to find what can be learned from the differences. There is always something positive to be learned. Lastly, never judge or condemn a divergent opinion or view point. Though you may strongly disagree, it is important to know that the other person has just as strong of opinions in what they believe.

You may have open discussions about the divergent beliefs, but never condemn a belief or belittle the person for their differing beliefs. This is counterproductive and creates more obstacles to any open communication and learning from each other. The other person becomes defensive and closeminded. This in turn makes you become close-minded and unwilling to listen to anything else the other person says. The end result is a stalemate in discourse, with no mutual understanding or support. Open-mindedness promotes free discourse and mutual understanding and support. By learning to become more open-minded, you too will learn much and will become more respected for what you have to say. God the Scientist Considering myself to be a man of faith and a man of science has lead me to believe that God is the Supreme Scientist. I consider the evidence of science along with the evidence of faith. As a result, I have discovered that faith and science can co-exist. To understand how this is possible, we must look at the very basics of the scientific process and the religious process. The holy grail of science is empirical evidence that supports, refutes, or expands an explanation for a natural phenomenon, also known as a scientific theory. The holy grail of religion is faith in beliefs for which there is no physical evidence, thus allowing a person to know things beyond what is knowable in a physical world. This means that science and faith have very little overlap in their main goals. Science seeks to make the natural world understandable. Religion seeks to make things beyond the natural world understandable. In the areas where this is overlap between science and religion, as with the origins of life, this used to cause me some concern. Christianity says that God created all things on Earth, including man. Science says that life gradually evolved from organic compounds in the Earth's oceans, to include man being an evolutionary off-shoot from a common ancestor of other great apes. It seems to be that these two explanations are at odds with one another. However, upon closer examination of the Creation story found in the Bible, you will find that the stages of religious explanation of the creation line up almost exactly with the corresponding scientific theories and explanations. The Bible tells us that plant life came before animal life (science agrees). The Bible tells us that the first animals lived in the oceans (science agrees). The Bible tells us that man was created after all the other animals (science mostly agrees, though it is also acknowledged that there are many species considered to be younger than homo sapiens). As the Bible does not explicitly state how God created life, it seems reasonable that evolution by natural selection is perhaps one of the tools He used to create life. Who am I to say that God could

NOT have used evolution as a means to create life on Earth? I believe in a God who cannot and does not lie. Evidence of His creation of life would thus be found in the Earth He created. It is therefore impossible that He would put evidence in the Earth to knowingly deceive man in the methods of His creation. Thus, there must be some truth in the theory of evolution as it uses the physical evidence that God put inside the Earth He created. This evidence is used to explain how life evolved on Earth. God would not put false evidence in a world He created. Thus, the evidence would either be correct, OR my understanding of God is incorrect. As the scriptures tell us God cannot lie, it must therefore be that the evidence is correct. Thus, God used the means of evolution to help Him create life on Earth. Similar arguments can be made for other overlaps between scientific and religious explanations. Until such a time as God tells me that he did not use scientific principles and understanding to be the creator of all things, I must believe that He did use scientific principles and understanding to create all things. Thus, by studying scientific knowledge we are able to get an idea of the true power that God possesses. In my mind, it is beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God is the Supreme Scientist, the author of science and religion. As Albert Einstein said, Every one who is seriously involved in the pursuit of science becomes convinced that a Spirit is manifest in the laws of the universe a Spirit vastly superior to that of man, and one in the face of which we with our modest powers must feel humble. In this way the pursuit of science leads to a religious feeling of a special sort, which is indeed quite different from the religiosity of someone more naive (Einstein 1936, as cited in Dukas and Hoffmann, Albert Einstein: The Human Side, Princeton University Press, 1979, 33). It should be noted that Einstein did not believe in a personal God, but he openly acknowledged his belief is some Power that helped organize the universe. Sometimes he referred to it as God; other times as a Spirit. Likewise, I have learned that my increase in scientific knowledge has increased my belief in God. Conclusion By taking the time to sit down, reflect, meditate, and examine who I am and who I want to become, I have grown tremendously. I have discovered things about myself I would have never known if I did not take the time to write this personal manifesto. To be clear, this manifesto is not binding or permanent. I do not expect it to stand the test of time. I expect it to change and evolve as I grow and learn more throughout my life. However, as of July 2012, this is how I believe and how I feel. I am sharing my personal manifesto with the world so that the world may understand me. I am

also sharing it as a model so that you too may take the journey of self-discovery. As you do, you may be surprised what you uncover. You may agree or disagree with some of my statements, which is fine and should be expected. This is how I feel and how I believe, not how you feel and how you believe. Write your own manifesto and declare to the world who you really are instead of judging me for mine. I expect there is much I can learn from your personal manifesto as well.