Anja Zoric Professor Dunlap HMD 302 September 17 & 19 Readings The stories in Blauner by various writers all

had one major theme in common they were still heavily influenced by their mothers even after their mothers had passed. A maternal figure is so strong that she leaves an essence in these mens lives, regardless of how close their relationship had been or how well they even remember their mothers. Furthermore, the power of a maternal figure is evident through the relationships that these men build with other women besides their mothers; always comparing the actions of a woman to that of their late mothers. Gus Lees story about his mother is incredibly powerful because she died when he was so young, and the recollection he has of her is based on what others have told him. He was told by his stepmother that she was a satanic person, and he grew not only believing this but also considering his stepmother his real mother. This disconnection with his birth mother leads Gus to have problems with authenticity, not knowing about his true self or his culture. I find it incredibly interesting that he was able to completely let go of these ideas as he grew older, and was able to see her in a new light; in the way she actually was. He was reconceptualizing everything his mother did and stood for, and in the process was reconceptualizing his relationship with his mother. This bond that he has with her was strong enough to help him overcome the ideas he had previously internalized that were faulty. Fred Moramarco on the other hand had the chance to grow alongside the presence of his mother, yet formed a negative perspective of her through the process. His mother was likely not conscious of the fact that Fred began to internalize the idea that he was a replacement child for his brother that had been killed in an accident. She never recovered from her loss, and this

became the distancing factor between Fred and his mother. It was not until her death that he began to understand everything she had gone through in her life, and was able to accept her not as an abnormal person, but a strong woman who held together incredibly well considering the circumstances of her life and eventually developed unconditional positive regard for her. He concludes that after his mothers death, she continued to live within him, and it is therefore in his hands to determine what his mother means to him. Similarly to Gus Lee, Nick Davis lost his mother when he was young, and realized that she had left a gap in his life that could not be filled. Just like Fred, Nick was traces of his mother in different women in his life, even ones he did not know very well. A maternal figure is womanly and encompasses nurturing qualities that are unique to her, so Nick concludes that even when he experiences nurturing qualities from another woman, it is not the same as when it comes from your very own mother. When he hugs his mothers old friend that he runs into, he realizes that he has been searching and longing for this maternal contact ever since his mother had passed, even though he was not aware of it. In a self fulfilling prophecy, Nick claims that he cannot contribute to the book about his mother for reasons unknown to him, but in the process of explaining this he does just that speaks about his mother. I think the Harter reading really relates to all three of these stories because it talks about the I-self and the me-self. Because people have filters as Harter states and are capable of interpreting the same thing/person in different ways, all three of the above men were able to reconceptualize their mothers and see them differently than when they were children. The different circumstances of their lives led them to believe certain things about their mothers, which they were able to reinterpret later on in life. They constructed their mothers based on how they perceived them; and by doing so they were constructing a part of themselves as well.