Jennifer VanZandt Professor Lewandowski English 122 2:25 TR 5 February 2009 Do I need more detail?

Um, not really, you went pretty deep in certain parts. The discussion section does need a bit more detail though. -Chris O. 2/5/09 3:07 PM What other kind of things (detail, info, etc) can I put in here to make it better? Overall, I liked the essay, but at some points it was a bit biased on the subject, I think you could make the essay a bit stronger by showing the other sides view on the subject. -Chris O. 2/5/09 3:05 PM Time is short. Good paper. Organize thoughts. Good grammer and punctuation. Introduction After watching the film Supersize Me, many can be intrigued by the results that the director, Morgan Spurlock, got while on his 30 day McDiet. I get the idea of your first sentence, but perhaps you should re-word it for easier comprehension He gained about 24.5 pounds, which took him a year afterwards to lose, he starting having random chest pains, and his liver was even affected by his fatty diet, his fat content went from 11% to 18%, plus many, many more harmful results. These are good facts, but maybe should be in another section of the piece The question, or "My"question is, what other experiments along the lines of Spurlocks have been done to back up his results? I really like what you did here, I kinda wish I added this kind of detail to my introduction. -Chris O. 2/5/09 2:55 PM Methods After doing a few hours of research, many articles about the affects of fast food were found. Accordingly, the majority of those articles were talking about the doing the same exact experiments that Spurlock did. One of them even consisted of lab rats. In the lab rat experiment, scientists put a bunch of mice on a diet that was high in high fructose corn syrup, and that was made up of 40% fat. What did that have in common with Spurlocks McDiet? All of the soda he drank was completely full of sugar, and not just sugar, high fructose corn syrup, which is just as bad, if not a bit worse (Citation). Also, with the high fat content, the mices diet was really close to the high amount of fat that is in McDonalds food. The rats diet was intended to last for 16 weeks. They were given food, so that they could eat whenever they wanted to. They were not force-fed in any ways possible. These are great facts. Maybe they should be in the results or discussion area. So how well did this go hand-in-hand with Spurlocks experiment? Maybe add more experiments? I found one during my research about food being digested in the stomach lasting in there for weeks at a time, check it out! :D -Chris O. 2/5/09 2:57 PM Results In the documentary Super Size Me, Morgan Spurlock had some shocking results. When he started his McDiet, as he likes to call it, he was in perfectly healthy shape. So were the lab rats when the scientists started their diets. Spurlocks results showed that fast food could have some major effects on humans. After his 30 days of McDonalds heaven, Spurlocks liver was fatty. His cholesterol was raised to 230, and he also gained 24.5 pounds, which took him a year to finally lose, which is ridiculous seeing that he gained all of that in only 30 days. His body fat level went from 11% to 18%, and he doubled his chance for heart disease and heart failure, which is just insane. You should leave comments like "is just insane" and "which is ridiculous" to the discussion section of the paper, because the results section is for a non critical view, apperently. -Chris O. 2/5/09 2:59 PM

The mice had similar results. After only 4 weeks of their fatty and sugary diet, they started showing an increase in liver enzymes, which goes hand-in-hand with the start of type II diabetes. When Spurlock was on his diet, he also started to suffer from an addiction to the food, which is yet another thing that happened to the rats. Even though they werent force-fed, they continued to eat, even when they were not hungry. That, though, was actually a really good thing for scientists. Through the mices overeating, scientists found out that high fructose corn syrup can do more than just help your risk of getting diabetes. They found that it could have effects on your body that can cause you to not feel as full, which will make you keep eating. There have also been other experiments done where scientists took a group of people who were all in perfect shape, and fed them all a fatty diet. The results? Of course, they got the same ones that Spurlock and the mice got. Give more information on this study. -Chris O. 2/5/09 3:02 PM Discussion Its really interesting to find out how bad fast food actually is for one to eat on a regular basis. For years, before the whole Obesity Epidemic in America, fast food was a way to get an easy, hot meal when youre running short on time. Also, hamburgers are one of Americas favorite foods. You have escargots in France, and pizza in Italy, so America has to have its own type of food, right? No one really believed that fast food could be this utterly bad for you. Have more of a discussion on the studies, maybe set a more... um, the other side of the argument: no one is going to eat McDonalds every single day, right? :P Chris O. 2/5/09 3:02 PM Conclusion The documentary Super Size Me was definitely an eye opening film of epic proportions. They way Spurlock gained so much weight from his McDiet and the way he taught everyone about the dangers of fast food is just amazing. Most people have a really hard time taking his film in, just because McDonalds is something that weve all grown up on for years. And the whole experiment with the lab rats thats just even more insane. Not only can humans get those bad results from a fatty and sugary diet, animals can. Maybe add something about the fact that rats have a different body chemistry from humans and that is why they got so sick? -Chris O. 2/5/09 3:04 PM It just proves that America really needs to make a change in their favorite diet, and scientists need to keep doing these sort of experiments for the sake of everyones health.