1 CHARACTERS DANCER AFTERPARTYs only dancer is a 24hr dancer. He is extremely buff.

He is sexless, wearing a unitard and draped in various subculture or historical fabrics (EX: Victorian attire, Adidas). Dancer has powerful stage presence, prima-ballerina energy. While he dances, he looks like he is simultaneously having the best work out of his life. LITTLE GIRL WITH A FETISH Shes running on a treadmill with a big t-shirt that says Little girl with a fetish (this is all she wears). She gets progressively more exhausted as she delivers her lines. She starts at 0mph and goes up to 6mph by Act 6. SALLY, SUSAN, SARAH Sometimes more female, sometimes more male. Stand in a triad and dab makeup/snap pictures/etc. of each other. They are engaged in frenetic preparatory activity, but they never seem to finish preparing. X, Y, and Z are all eccentric in appearance but frivolous. BIG BOOMING VOICE Omniscient and digitally distorted to about 20Hz. WHISPERER Talks with lips close to camera, so teeth are highly animated and up front. The sssss is harsh, uncomfortable. You can hear the mucus slapping between lips and teeth. AUDIENCE Dressed all in black, basically just silhouettes. They barely move, though at times they check their various smart phones.

2 SETTINGS AFTERPARTY A strip joint in a bunker. There is a stage, a single pole, and a giant clock on the wall that only has six marks. Non-spinning disco balls are hanging haphazardly in nooks and crannies and from the ceiling. BATHROOM A womens bathroom, very fluorescent. There are 3 stalls and 3 sinks. On the counter theres a collection of furs and exoticlooking/useless objects. Theres a large mirror. On the counter is a large handbag with all the props. TREADMILL ROOM A single, bare, yellow-lit room with a treadmill.

3 ACT 2 INT: AFTERPARTY The clock chimes twice. The DANCER is stripping. The Victorian attire goes. He is growing more and more ambiguous as a form, more modern, more abstract. BIG BOOMING VOICE There is (Fades) INT: BATHROOM SALLY You guys are scary. You guys break everything. Sometimes I dont see the glass and I end up having to get six stitches. (takes a kleenex and blows nose) On cue, play the violin, please. SUSAN Are you in distress? SARAH Do you feel skinless? SUSAN Should we touch you? SARAH Should we seduce you? SUSAN Should we tie you up? SARAH HA HA HA SUSAN HE HE HE SARAH HO HO HO

4 SUSAN hands SALLY the bag. SALLY takes out his iPhone and starts blasting music. He begins doing squats on the floor. SALLY (repeats) ENDORPHINS SUSAN starts humping SALLY. SUSAN (repeats) OXYTOCIN SARAH clambers on top of SALLY and SUSAN. SARAH (repeats) DOPAMINE SALLY GUYS GUYS QUIET SALLY SARAH walks pulls rings out gun-looking object and shoots both of them, & SUSAN fall anticlimactically on the floor, SALLY then over to a huge crank that says Cats have 9 lives and it up. SALLY Reset the counter. SUSAN (pops up) VITAMIN E SARAH (pops up) GINGER ALE SALLY (turns and gives a winning smile) TASTES SO FRESH (Fades) INT: TREADMILL ROOM

5 A LITTLE GIRL WITH A FETISH pushes the up button on her treadmill so that it goes to 2MPH. A LITTLE GIRL WITH A FETISH I will not fall. You cant force me. Call me a spoiled little fucker, but I revel in spoliation and its the only thing that gets me going. Spoil spoil sweaty w/ Spoil, Succulent spoil. Something hidden between two mounds. Ooo you looked, how spoiled! Stay in the fridge. Dont peek, or youll spoil. I wash myself with spoil. I scrub with spoil. I devastate with spoil. (Fades) INT: BATHROOM SALLY, SUSAN, and SARAH are all sitting in a circle and holding hands. SALLY You dont have to be high to come down, you know SUSAN Yeah. You dont have to go anywhere to get somewhere, you know. SARAH And you dont have to live in order to die, you know. Outside, it sounds like the wind is blowing a million miles per minute. SARAH, SALLY, and SUSAN all shut up and cower to the whistling above them. They look up and point at each other and look frightened. SALLY Was that God? SARAH Dont be obscene. SUSAN Absurd.

6 SARAH Someones idea of a joke. SALLY Whats fat and shiny? (buzzer sound) SALLY Was that God? SARAH Dont be obscene. SUSAN Absurd. SARAH Someones idea of a joke. SALLY Whats pink and obvious? (buzzer sound) SALLY Was that God? SARAH Dont be obscene. SUSAN Absurd. SARAH Someones idea of a joke. SALLY Whats pale and ironic? (buzzer sound) SALLY Was that God? SARAH

7 Dont be obscene. SUSAN Absurd. SARAH Someones idea of a joke. SALLY If you rewind God, what do you get? (buzzer sound) SUSAN What is Gods velocity in free-fall? (buzzer sound) SARAH How long does it take to become Godly? (buzzer sound) (Fades) INT: TREADMILL ROOM A LITTLE GIRL WITH A FETISH walks very slowly at 2MPH. A LITTLE GIRL WITH A FETISH This bullshit has gone on long enough. Reincarnation in the form of torture. After I kill myself, I have to come back and do it all over again. (Fades) INT: BATHROOM SALLY, SUSAN, and SARAH are still sitting in a circle. They have their heads buried in their laps. SALLY Somewhere, a mans in love with his phantom. SUSAN Somewhere, a womans in love with her canal.

SARAH Somewhere, a fathers in love with a map. SARAH Somewhere, a little girls in love with a fetish. (Fades) INT: TREADMILL ROOM A LITTLE GIRL WITH A FETISH pushes the up button on her treadmill so that it goes to 3MPH. A LITTLE GIRL WITH A FETISH I am so mad. Oh I am so mad. I could kill. Overtouchy and fearfilled. Coco-Pressure. I thought Id be polite, you know, and ask her what it meant. The meaning of life. WHATA-CUNT. I am indiscriminate rage. I want to vomit your brain and trace its patterns on my body. I want to make a rope in the shape of your double-helix and hang you with it. I want to shove your femur up your ass. There will be no novacaine. Anaesthesia is for pussies. My pussy is numb, so I relax before climax. How many different ways can I say this. GO AWAY. (Fades) INT: AFTERPARTY DANCER continues to tease and strip. More AUDIENCE has arrived. They get closer to the stage. WHISPERER: There is? (Fades)

9 ACT 3 INT: AFTERPARTY The clock chimes three times. DANCER switches styles frequently: at times classical, at times contemporary, at times nonsensical, at times formulaic. He is forever shifting. His face is unreadable. BIG BOOMING VOICE: There is nothing (Fades) INT: BATHROOM SUSAN, SALLY, and SARAH snap pictures of each other while shouting. SALLY DEMAND SUSAN DISGUST SARAH DIAMOND! SALLY Theres something erotic about having two pennies drowning in a pool. SUSAN Well of course, they get to rust together. SARAH (sighs) What could be more romantic? SUSAN Eating cheese is a lonely thing. SARAH You can go to bed a character and wake up as nothing. SUSAN

10 Then you spend the day rebuilding. SALLY How long does it take to build character? SARAH Depends on the day. SALLY, SUSAN, and SARAH are holding white eraseboards. A game buzzer, the same one as earlier, sounds. They lift their boards up one at a time. Each board has a smilie face drawn on it. (Fades) INT: TREADMILL ROOM A LITTLE GIRL WITH A FETISH pushes the up button on her treadmill so that it goes to 3MPH. A LITTLE GIRL WITH A FETISH Self-inhabitate!!! Im gonna fuck the apocalypse away. When I am young, I will find my epileptic self having a seizure in the bedroom next door. I will be the only other person home. I will convince myself that I will be alright (Ive always been ok before) and go back to playing with myself. When I am older, I will come home and find me dead in my room. I will lie and say I dont know what the noises were, that I thought I had been playing a game. (Fades)