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Stefanie Testa Instructor: Malcolm Campbell English 1102-011 8 April 2013 Solitude: Are We Really Alone?

By definition, the word solitude means to be in a state of seclusion, separated from society and its inhabitants (Solitude). Many have appreciated this kind of time to be alone and disconnected from the fast pace world around us. Others argue that although solitude can be desirable, being completely and utterly alone is unattainable by the generation of this day and age. Throughout the inquiry of the question Are we ever really alone?, I would argue that, with advancements in technology and along with our constant need of being connected or known to the surrounding world, that it is almost impossible to ever consider ourselves truly alone. For thousands of years, humans lived among each other without knowing what the word technology meant. Prior to the 20th century, the term was even uncommon in the English language. Throughout history there have always been inventions, like the printing press in 1450, and other simplistic innovations, like the wheel, that made the world just a little bit easier for its occupants. The kind of technology that will be discussed in this paper was not prevalent until after the Second Industrial Revolution. More importantly to the topic, the first cellular device, which is popularly known as a cell phone, was first advertised in 1983, and still did not spike in

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sales and popularity until 1990. It is now 2013, and six billion people, 87% of the world, own this ever-evolving mini machine that so many of us are possessed by (Mobile Phone). The creation and popularity of the cell phone is not the only innovative device that has brought new meaning to the word connectivity. The first digital computers originated between 1940 and 1945 according to Wikipedias extent of information about the computer. (Computer). Although there were many similar technologies built prior, these new and improved computers lead to the also-very-successful products we see on shelves today. Instead of the considerably limited objects of the 1940s, today you can have a choice of desktop computers, laptops, tablets, and even your cell phone can be considered a computer if it has internet connection (which now, its hard to find those which dont). According to a 2012 survey, by more than the 6 billion devices in use, more than half of those were smartphones. Its projected that this year, that percentage will rise to 70 percent in the U.S (Hardawar). William Deresiewicz, ex-professor at Yale University, states in one piece of work that because of this new technology, the contemporary self cannot be alone, that we fear it. It wants to be recognized, wants to be connected: It wants to be visible. If not to the millions, on Survivor or Oprah, then to the hundreds, on Twitter or Facebook. This is the quality that validates us; this is how we become real to ourselves by being seen by others. The great contemporary terror is anonymity (Deresiewicz). Everything this generation does, whether it be celebrating events or just spending the night watching the finale of your favorite TV series, ends up being known to the general public. You post these updates on Facebook and Twitter, then share a photograph of whatever it may be that youre participating in on Instagram. You might even write about the whole experience on

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your blog. It seems that if you do not share these experiences with everyone you know that it never happened. Thus, even when people are physically alone, they use social media and other technologies to feel like they are with others. Being the observant person I am, when I noticed that someone I am friends with doesnt post to these social networks as frequently as others, I tend to think about what they could be doing, or even if something bad as happened to them. I recently said to my roommate, Has (so and so) just dropped off the Earth?, knowing that they really havent dropped off the Earth, but suggesting that because I have no idea what they are up to then its almost like they have disappeared from my known world. We refresh the news feeds and timelines until something new pops up out partially because of boredom and also the simple fact that we are curious about other peoples lives. Not only has the phenomena of social networks made a difference in the way we communicate, but also text messaging plays a big part in how we connect with others. Did you know that the average 18-29 year old sends/receives approximately 88 text messages daily (Kugler)? Wiki Answers tells us that in the U.S alone, it is estimated that 4 billion texts are sent each day, with the yearly total averaging over 2 trillion. Sherry Turkle is a clinical psychologist and the founder of MITs Initiative on Technology and Self. She researches how this new digital age has affected how parents raise their children, how friends interact, and why these new technologies seem to be so addictive that we need them in hand, constantly. In an interview with NPRs Terry Gross about her book Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other, Turkle explains that it's a way of life to be always texting, and when you look at these texts, it really is thoughts

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in formation, and it's as though - you know, I do studies where I just sit for hours and hours at red lights, watching people unable to tolerate being alone. It's as though being alone has become a problem that needs to be solved, and then technology presents itself as a solution to this problem (Turkle, In Constant Digital Contact, We feel "Alone Together"). The interview goes on to talk about how not only how our communication abilities are changing, but that those interpersonal skills (or lack of) are directly affecting our relationships with others. Turkle makes it clear that because the majority of this generation has their discussions over mentions on Twitter, comments on Facebook, or through the 88 texts they send daily, that the art of conversation is lost. An apology, for example, is something Turkle argues should not be sent through text. A full-scale apology means I know I've hurt you, I get to see that in your eyes," she says (Turkle, Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other) . By apologizing, or having any conversation for that matter, face-toface, you get to sense what others are feeling. Those nonverbal visual indications are what differentiate digital and direct conversation. I agree with Turkle. Communication through text seems shallow and dishonest to me. I dont fall into the average 88 texts a day category. My friends and I text when we have a question about where were meeting for lunch, or when there might be a funny story to tell. But other than that, I dont text people to just ask whats up, and most of the time I dont indulge in those who ask me that. How many times do you hear people say Hi, how are you? and they are really looking for an answer? Because if were telling the truth here, and we are, many people do not care how you are. Like when someone asks me whats up, the chances of them actually wanting to know the details of everything I am doing, is slim to none. There is usually a point in why they are contacting me, and sometimes I wish they would just get to it sooner, and leave all

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the meaningless and superficial small talk out of it. Although I would rather have conversations in person, I find texting more enjoyable when it eliminates that kind of small talk, and people tell you how they really feel. Not to mention its a whole lot more convenient to text or call someone than to go find them wherever they might be. This argument is not to prove technology is corrupt or ruining our society, but that it is changing it. May that be for the best, or not, well, that is up to you decide. Maybe you prefer to communicate over text instead of facing a person. It seems that people are more exposed and vulnerable or even more blunt about their emotions and desires through text messages. Despite your choice of communication, can you recall the last time you were alone? A period, from the time after receiving your first cell phone, or partaking in the various social networks out there, that you have be in complete solitude? Speaking for this generation, with the exception of sleep, the answer is probably rarely ever. I applied these same questions to my life after reading The End of Solitude. The essay is Deresiwiczs perspective of todays generation and how technology has affected us. He argues that even if we are physically alone, the digital device we use connect us to the world around us constantly. Although I once applauded the fact that I enjoyed being alone, I realized that while I might have been physically by myself, that all-the-while I was scrolling my Twitter timeline, or viewing the recent pictures of my friends on Instagram. I actually even ascribe rainy Sundays to do nothing but lie in bed and watch Netflix, but can I claim that Im alone when I play texting games with friends, and like I said, scroll the newsfeed of the many social networks I am subscribed to? I cant remember the last time I went anywhere without my IPhone unless it was accidently forgotten or misplaced. Even in the shower, I bring my phone to listen to Pandora and I know Im not the only one.

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In my opinion, the ideal of solitude is quite intriguing. I wish to be capable of going without my digital devices. But a day, or even a few hours, deprived of any connection to my friends and family makes me think I will be missing out on something. Although it is possible, it is very unlikely I, or anyone of this digital age, are willing to. I guess thats where Deresiewicz gets the notion to say we actually fear being alone. Its not that we dread being physically alone, its more that we are fearful of not knowing what is going on in everyone elses lives. The social networks we are captivated by are like another world. We have our real lives consisting of school and work and social events, and then this world of friends on the internet where they post everything they are experiencing and going on in their lives. It keeps us all connected and the thought of not being connected is terrifying. It is no surprise that these social networks continue to rise in popularity, or that there is a new one every week. Likewise, it is clear that text messaging is not dissipating anytime soon. The internet is not a wicked thing. It lets us explore new resources, and connects us to people all over the world. Without the computer and internet, this paper would be substantially less informed. And without the cell phone, how would I be able to connect to family and friends in other states? What if I was in trouble, or more likely, my 1999 Honda Civic broke down on the side of the road? How could I get help? See, these advanced technologies are really not the problem. The problem is that maybe we exploit these devices so much for our own social needs that we lose the skills to have a real conversation, or even real relationships. We forget that maybe we need private time to be alone to just clear our heads from the everyday occurrences, maybe we even can benefit from solitary periods to learn more about ourselves. So maybe the question is not are we ever really alone?, but are you?

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Works Cited Computer. Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation. 22 Mar. 2013. Web. 01 April 2013.

Deresiewicz, William. "The End of Solitude." Chronicle of Higher Education (2009): B6B9.Web. 29 January 2013.

Hardawar, Devindra. "The magic moment: Smartphones now half of all U.S. mobiles." 29 March 2012. Venture Beat. Web. 8 April 2013.

Kugler, Jeffrey. "We never talk any more: The problem with text messaging." CNN.com 6 September 2012.. TIME. Web. 2 April 2013.

"Mobile Phone." Wikipedia.26 March 2013. Web. 1 April 2013.

Pigliucci, Massimo. Rationally Speaking. 2 Febuary 2009. Web. March 2013.

"Solitude." Online Etymology Dictionary. Douglas Harper, Historian. Web. 02 April 2013.

Turkle, Sherry. Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other. New York: Basic Books, October 2, 2012.

Turkle, Sherry. In Constant Digital Contact, We feel "Alone Together" Terry Gross. Boston: National Public Radio, 18 October 2012. Web. March 2013.