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Kat McNulty Malcolm Campbell English 1102 4/8/2013 Match me with members who are...

Online dating has become one of the most popular ways of meeting new people; its like shopping online for your soul mate! There are 40 million users in the U.S. alone, eHarmony and Match.com being the most popular (Facts About Online Dating). But how does it all work? Once you enter the online dating world a few things change. I will be exploring how its so different from the bar scene. It has interested me to see if dating online really works or if its really one big scam. Since dating online has become such a big industry and so many people are trying the new trend I want to explore their experiences, how it works and see if its all worthwhile or a huge waste of time and money. Now let's talk about relationships Online dating, being the new trend of the century, has a lot of people star struck about finding their soul mates. This fast, new way of shopping online for your next crush became very popular very fast. Although meeting people online was always possible via email, dating sites started to get recognized around 1995 when Match.com gave out 60,000 free memberships for life and in the past few years the industries have really boomed with the internet becoming easy access to almost anyone (Felix). The speed of connecting with new people is amazing and more and more people are using this resource to their advantage. Online dating is a great improvement to meeting people, even if youre a single mother you can just put it on you profile and only

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people interested can wink at you. Your profile on a dating site is you, or everything you want other to think you are. You can put as much, or as little, information about yourself as you want. Its up to you! Most profiles consist of a picture, age, hobbies, etc. On these dating sites you can search by gender, age, location, height; its like searching for your own Prince Charming. Sites like Match.com and eHarmony gets to know you so that they can match you with your perfect mate, but how? Tell us how you live your life For experimental purposes only I join eHarmony, to really see what online dating calls for, and how they really get to know me for me. When you sign up for a dating site your first task before finding the love of your life is answering a few questions, well, a bunch of questions actually. They start with the basics, your gender, what gender you are looking for, your date of birth, and on and on. Once you get through the first few questions they assure you this will be a breeze and tell you to just be yourself. You move onto the second section where you continue to describe yourself, what you like, what you dont like, and what you want in a partner. In this process you are creating your very own profile; all your info that people can browse through, sounds easy right? At first it is. But after answering what seemed like endless amounts of questions like: How well does this describe you? Warm, Clever, Dominant, Outgoing, Quarrelsome, Stable, Energetic, Predictable, Affectionate, Intelligent, Attractive, Loyal, Witty, Sensitive, Generous, Sensual, Content, Patient, Passionate, Caring, Genuine, Vivacious, Wise, Bossy, Leader, Irritable, Kind, Aggressive, Outspoken, Opinionated, Restless, Romantic, Selfish (eHarmony),

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I had to take a break. So many questions can fog up your sensibility and you start to answer what you wish you were like instead of what you really are like. So this is how they really get to know you, question after question, hopefully youre telling the complete truth so you dont disappoint your future lover. Once you are all done with the question part of your experience they assure you that that was the hardest part. They use three simple steps to ensure the best results. Step 1: We learn about your personality. Step 2: Our match experts go to work every night and pick new matches. Step 3: Receive your matches by email every morning. Step 4: Chose to make the first move (eHarmony). As simple as that. Really? Wearing your heart on your sleeve Online dating is very different than meeting someone on the street. The biggest problem with the online dating world is how much lying really goes on. How do you really know that you are meeting the man of your dreams when all you see are words on a page and a pretty face smiling at you? What makes you so sure that its not one big lie? One thing that I have learned throughout my journey so far is that it is important to understand that it is not one big fantasy. You can easily get wrapped up in the crazy delusion that everything will turn out like a fairy tale, well youre not Cinderella, sorry. All your matches can seem so perfect. On my profile I already have a full page of great matches that live in my area (eHarmony), and believe me, they all look like my Prince Charming. But is Andrew really 61? And is one of Daniels life skills really making friends laugh? Hmm.. It may not seem like a big deal, a little white lie here and there, but in the end all those little lies add up and you get someone completely different. Research has shown that the top three things men lie about are their age, income, and height while women are most likely to lie about their weight, physical build and age (Online Dating Statistics). Of course, this is not the

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only thing people lie about. There is so much you do not know about a person until you really meet them, face to face. And the most important, obviously, is chemistry. You cant feel that through a screen. In 2005, using eHarmonys own published statistics, a team of credible authoritiesamong them Philip Zimbardo, a former president of the American Psychological Associationconcluded in an online white paper: When eHarmony recommends someone as a compatible match, there is a 1 in 500 chance that youll marry this person.... Given that eHarmony delivers about 1.5 matches a month, if you went on a date with all of them, it would take 346 dates and 19 years to reach [a] 50% chance of getting married. The team also made the sweeping observation that there is no evidence that ... scientic psychology is able to pair individuals who will enjoy happy, lasting marriages(Epstiein). How do you like those chances? What is causing all these failed relationship? Lies. It might not even been on purpose, I mean, what if someone really does think they are funny, outgoing, not at all bossy, and has an athlete body? Someone can be whoever they want to be online. How are you supposed to trust their judgement on their own jokes and physical body type? They have bias answer. And then how do you choose the love of your life from a computer screen that is probably telling you a bunch of little white lies? How important in a relationship is... Of course meeting someone online could work, you could fall madly in love and there you have it, your real fairy tale ending. Just like dating online, meeting someone the old fashioned way has its flaws. First impressions and looks are the number one thing in the bar

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scene and if you dont have the right presence Mr. Right might walk away. Some people dont like the look of their chances at that and thats where online dating comes in. Online dating puts your personality out there for everyone to see, so they know you before they judge a book by its cover. Finding someone online may seem impossible, a big scam, but could it be if 80% of online daters know someone who found love on the internet (Koszegi)? Many people have a lot of positive things to say about online dating. For one thing, its fast, just log on and youve got 6 more matches! It is also a focused search; no more Im not looking for anything serious, after the third date. And the big one, rejection hurts less. I would rather be rejected through a screen rather than face to face, Im sure most would agree. You've got an amazing story. People everywhere have tried online dating sites, Fifa, a thirty-something year old women started a blog about her experience on Match.com. She starts by describing filling out her profile as a bit of a challenge. She reveals truth when she says, You have to walk the delicate line of being honest and not being too honest. Its a lot of pressure putting yourself out there, you have to find the perfect words to get people interested but make sure you dont disappoint in the end. Thats who I am- take it or leave it. But please take it. Right now Im optimistic enough about my prospects not to sugarcoat anything, but who knows? In a few weeks I might start lying my ass off just to get some sort of response. Its hard to be you 100% of the time online, you want to stand out from the crowd, but be different, and you may just slip in that youre a foot taller or make just a little more than the other guys. Once she got started she found that she had to do a lot of weeding out since she had 340 possible matches in the first 24 hours. I knocked the list down to about 180 candidates worthy of further investigation. (Fifa)

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After a month of Match.com Fifa has still not had a date, shes had multiple email conversations and winks but nothing that she wanted to pursue. She blames herself for not approaching anyone and not giving them a chance so she went out on a limb and wrote to a guy and winked at 3 others. She began to talk to Mr. Energetic and found that there might be something there. Nice to know somebody actually gets me. Maybe theres potential with this guy. (Fifa) As the days went on they finally agree on a date to meet after the holidays. Fifa got ready in 10 minutes and wasnt too happy about having to drive a half an hour. She couldnt seem to get enough enthusiasm about the date as she wanted. After finally finding the bar they were meeting at, which was down an alley that couldve been easily missed, she met him. The date went completely awful. After answering no for dinner without even asking her if she was hungry was the end of it for her. Peoples lack of consideration for others is probably my biggest frustration and that right there pretty much did Mr. E in. So the date went on, seeming to get worse as it continued, He had very unsettling conversational habits. A good conversation flows seemlessly from topic to topic. This did not. After an hour, which seemed like at least 2, he didnt offer to pay for her $9 wine and they said there awkward bye. And thats the end of Mr. Energetic (who was sooo not energetic). So after all that, still no Prince Charming. She soon decided to try the bar scene again, Match.com obviously wasnt working for her. (Fifa) And now you're in the home stretch What I found in my search of online dating is that overall it is for some people and not for others. Its a life changing decision to join a site and shop for your next mate but theres always a chance it might end in happiness if fate is on your side. Once you enter the online dating world it seems like a fantasy, all those single people looking for love and winking at

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you, seeming so perfect and ready to get hitched. But you have to remember that they choose what they want to put on their profile. Their identities can get lost through all the little white lies they tell. People can recreate themselves online, they become whoever they want to be, a little taller, richer, younger. Once you meet someone you think you like online your expectations start to rise, most of the time they become a bit too high; he may seem like Channing Tatum online but dont be too surprised if you meet Goofy at the bar. What you see is not always what you get; people lie about themselves online all the time. One last thing you might want to remember about the online dating world is that all those happy couples you see on the eHarmony commercial are the exception; you are, mostly likely, the rule. To really sum what Ive learned about dating online in one sentence is that the problem is that its hard to trust through a screen and taking chances that might end in heartbreak make it even harder, dating online is great when you have the patience to get through all the liars to reach your happy ending.

Hey Kat! Good job on the paper and I absolutely loved reading it. There were a few grammatical errors here and there that I pointed out in the comments and some parts I was confused about. However, I got the overall feel and it was really good! If you wanted to improve, I noticed you used a lot of questions. Questions are good, but too many questions can kind of make your essay not much of an essay. Try going back and seeing if you can make some of those questions that dont really need to be there into sentences. Other than that, I loved the evidences and your opinion! Great paper!

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Work Cited eHarmony. eHarmony. 22 Aug. 2000. Web. 04 Apr. 2013. Epstiein, Robert, Dr. "The Truth About Online Dating." Drrobertepstein. Scientific American Mind, Feb.-Mar. 2007. Web. 07 Apr. 2013. "Facts About Online Dating (Infographic)." Popjolly. N.p., 9 Sept. 2010. Web. 26 Mar. 2013. Felix, Ross. "What Was The First Online Dating Site?" Online Dating Insider. N.p., 7 June 2010. Web. 26 Mar. 2013. Fifa. "My Online Dating Experience." Web log post. My Online Dating Experience. N.p., 2 May 2006. Web. 07 Apr. 2013. Koszegi-Nagy, Zsofia. "108 Interesting Facts, Tips and Statistics about Online Dating and Relationships - Part I." HubPages. Google, 2012. Web. 07 Apr. 2013. "Online Dating Statistics." Statistic Brain RSS. Washington Post, 20 June 2012. Web. 07 Apr. 2013.