WINNING WAYS

his article carries a health warning: dont try this at home! You may think that Im completely off the wall - but I have never felt better, or more excited, or more determined to tackle lifes challenges. Last month I was involved in a developmental day that was a showcase for alternative and complementary therapies. The people who attended could have taster sessions of treatments such as reflexology, massage, shiatsu and Reiki and could also attend a wide range of workshops. I was delivering The Antidote to Stinking Thinking, a workshop on worry. I have come to realise that worry is the most awful, useless waste of energy - and yet the majority of people keep on doing it. Asking my group why they worried, there were very many different reasons. Once you start really examining worry, you can start to jettison a habit that you learned as a young person. Giving it up is like giving up smoking. It is hard at the time, but well worth it when you come out at the other end. I have an uphill battle getting chronic worriers to give up, but low-level worriers can give it up as quick as a wink, and feel better for the rest of their lives. (Doesnt that sound tempting?) When I had finished, and delivered some new non-worriers into the world, I decided to attend a workshop myself. I chose Introduction to Firewalking. I had actually walked on hot coals about five years ago. It was a grand occasion. Although it was scary, about ten thousand people did the walking with me so I could see it was possible and it wasnt a problem at all. I felt great afterwards and believed that I would never really be scared of anything again. And that has been generally true - until this workshop. The very interesting lady introducing us to fire walking set us a rather different kind of challenge: to break an arrow while pushing it with your throat.

Following the arrow

Breaking an arrow with her throat confirms for life coach Jo Middlemiss that, with the right attitude and support, we can all follow through our goals.
READ THIS IF YOU WANT TO GIVE UP WORRY AND FEAR BELIEVE MORE IN YOURSELF AND OTHERS FOLLOW THROUGH YOUR GOALS
I got into pushing position, with shoulders ahead of feet but feet planted firmly like a warrior. The arrow was placed in my throat and the opposite end in the breadboard. The group chanted. I took my three deep breaths, thought my thought, and pushed as if my life depended on it. To my enormous relief the arrow snapped, everyone cheered and I leapt off the ground, laughing and crying and hugging people all at the same time. So weird, so exciting and so exhilarating. Honestly, talk about Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway although I doubt this is exactly what Susan Jeffers was thinking about when she wrote Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness (p.27)! Of course I really DO mean dont try it at home; the instructor was experienced, confident and very safety conscious. Another participant was a gentle and elderly lady. She had quietly attended a few of the workshops during the day but had not participated with any great enthusiasm. Imagine my surprise when this woman stepped into the circle and said shed like to have a go. When the instructor asked her what she wanted to achieve she said the problem was that she didnt know. She didnt know what she was doing with her life or what to do next. She said all of this in an incredibly dull and quiet voice. The instructor stayed bright and enthusiastic. How about clarity and direction? she chirruped. I suppose so, said Mrs Dull. The arrow was put in place. The group chanted success and the old lady pushed. Nothing happened. Try again, said Mrs Enthusiasm, and, this time, hold your breath when you push. Same result. This time focus with your eyes open.

Lit up from inside

I thought it wasnt going to work. I was looking forward to seeing how the instructor would deal with something not going right. Then Mrs Dull gritted her teeth, took her deep breaths, focused and pushed and snapped that arrow. We jumped and whooped for her. I have never seen a face transform quite so dramatically. She turned into Mrs Shiny-Bright, lit up from inside. I dont know what happened to her after that but Im willing to bet that she learned something about herself that day. And I learned something about myself because I was willing to give up on her with sympathy when there was absolutely no need. She could do it just as well as I could. She only had to believe it. Now why do I tell you this story when its about such an out-of-the-ordinary thing? Well, the ordinary everyday often does present us with challenges that we sidestep because we dont think that we have the guts or determination to follow through. My personal challenge is to follow through on what I have set myself. If you would like to have a go, look up www.creativefire.co.uk. Its an amazing experience and could be life changing in more ways than one. Im going for another firewalk and I will achieve whatever goal I set myself, of that I have no doubt. After all, Ive broken an arrow with SLTP my throat!

Reference
Jeffers, S. (1997) Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. (20th Anniversary edn.) London: Random House.

Resource
www.creativefire.co.uk

Terrified
It is hard to explain this without pictures but I will try. The instructor gave us a demonstration of the arrow breaking process. The tip of the arrow - about as sharp as a blunt pencil - was placed in the sternal notch. Someone held a breadboard with a little hole drilled in it for the feathered end of the arrow. That person was not to exert any pressure at all. The instructor then took three deep breaths, held her breath and then with deep concentration pushed into the arrow. We onlookers encouraged her with shouts. (We had to do something, or we would have stopped breathing with terror.) I couldnt believe my eyes. My heart was in my mouth and my palms were sweating. Yet while all this was happening I knew I had to do it. I watched another person do it and then, like someone possessed, heard myself volunteering. My heart was thumping; I am told I went as white as a sheet. I stated my intention but also admitted to the group that I was terrified.

Jo Middlemiss is a qualified Life Coach with a background in education and relationship counselling, tel. 01356 648329, www. dreamzwork. co.uk. Jo offers readers a complimentary half-hour telephone coaching session (for the cost only of your call). You may want to phone Jo if you are going through a major change (such as coping with being a student, starting a first job, promotion or returning to work after a career break), or if you find yourself in circumstances which make it difficult for you to do your job in the way you want to. While all Jos work informs Winning Ways, your contact is confidential, and no personal or identifying details will be given.

SPEECH & LANGUAGE THERAPY IN PRACTICE Summer 2007

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