6. Had I lived with my grandmother, I could not have assumed myself as a rock.

But I would be the girl considering herself a green fallen leaf. Actually, it still looks needed but it is not stuck on the stems. I learn what live is with my daddy and mom. I was the girl spoiled by my granny. Its very hard to accept my situation changing with my parents. I often complained my breakfast as it was only porridge . Different time with grandma, carbohydrates are always changing in the morning. I often complain and cry. I was not in my own house. I feel foreign orng. "Grandma, bread jam Cecyl" I cry and kick plate in front of me "This also is good son" mama persuade "No way. I want bread jam "I'm getting nagged Mama usually can not wait to persuade me. Mama prefers to eat with my brother, Joel, and mama will let me cry alone. Joel was different, he was quiet and did not complain because it's breakfast - it wrote. He always ate it. Dad can usually win my heart. Fathers often promise something that I would melt my heart makan. bujukannya able to eat white porridge and side dishes that never change. Waluapun fathers are more often broken promise. I forget the promises that are broken because my mind has been adorned with a new appointment or by giving me that was never asked. Day by day, week turned into weeks, months turned into months until the year had already changed. I'm getting fed up with all tingkahku. My age is getting reduced while increasing my age, I'm not a spoiled little girl. The girl who always whines to fulfill his request. Now I'm the girl who already understand the wants mama. I saw my mother sitting in front of the fireplace. This time, I saw mama not to cry but shivering. Mama sat huddled and hugged her knees folded - tightly. Da blue lips trembled. Occasionally lifted his palm in the direction of the fire and then fingered her part. I tried to approach him and touch him. I felt the cold temperature mama.

"Mama, why? 'I took a position to the left "Hey, you apparently love? Cold ya mama "mama took my hand to sit on his lap. "Mama, cold eh? 'I took pity "Yes dear, mama was the rain on the farm" "Owh, so dad do?" "You're sleeping son, ayahpun cold" "Why she has to hit the rain? It could be in the same house Cecyl not let the rain? " "Kan mama father must work together, so we can buy food, pay school fees Cecyl, continue to buy clothes, buy toys. If the money can not you work? " "But ma, Cecyl teacher said that the main pain rain later. Mama get sick tablets if the rain? " "So mama sitting here near the fire so mama do not hurt" "Yeah, ya ma?" Mama smiled at tingkahku, I began to understand. Why do we have a side dish that is always the same. Mom and dad apparently working hard to get it. I'm getting to understand the meaning of hard work. "Mama, Cecyl hungry. Eat yuk ma! "I jumped from pengkuan mama "Yes, dear. banguni try dad! " "Ready mama" I no longer whine because breakfast before going to school. I do not have yelled mama because I often waste rice. My father also does not need to break a promise I eat alone. I envy same Joel who can understand the situation before me. I follow the way he eats. He never forgot to pray. I did not forget a prayer before I eat it once, I was too busy complaining.

I apparently taught to appreciate everything. Something would be valuable if we enjoy it not because of the high cost. That's real life. Mama smiled more mature look tingkahku are snobs. When mom got home from work. "Mama already back home?" "Let dong" "Where's father?" "In hindsight, cooking mama used to it? A shower there! " "But ma, Cecyl want to help mama cook it?" "Fine, I'll shower at mama. Where Joel? " "After watching ma" "Have a shower first, your brother!" I did not help but screw up the job mama. But never angry mama, mama even laughed at tingkahku. Mama felt proud because I now become her taste. Dad still thought I was a spoiled little girl. Dad was always angry at that mama let me go do what mama did. Dad always refused when I'm come to the fields. I know I am not scared away, because they would interfere with their work, but dad did not want me to see how much pain they feel in the hot sun.

7. "Ma, Cecyl be willing to sell?" "Selling? Selling what? "Mama shock response "Cake or Fried" "What?" Mama rising tone "Come on ma" "No school bisa.kau wrote first!" "But mama, Cecyl want to sell it to get money" "Who ngajari you say so?" Both eyes mama come out "No ma. Cecyl want it myself " "But still not" mother folded her hands "Come on ma, later the money was Cecyl tube" "Once nope still not" "Mama!" Me whine "Ask at your father!" There is not the slightest sign of green past, mama let alone father wrote was rejected. I still see my father before bed. "Cecyl already work on homework, kid?" "Let yah, yah Cecyl be selling?" "What?" Father shocked "Selling Well" I replied proudly

"Cecyl want to sell, what?" Tone a little friendlier than mama father "Cake or fried, yah" "For what?" "Cecyl want to sell aja, yah" "Why could want?" "Earlier, Cecyl learn Indonesian. Cecyl teacher read a story told of a little girl selling bakwan around town. Pity he's well, he's not the school continues to father died. He lived with his mother aja yah " "But Cecyl school right?" Father approached "That is well, wrote Cecyl school age can not sell, even though he could not go to school anyway?" "It would he not go to school so he has time. So Cecyl not selling around the school and so " "Dad, Cecyl wares Sunday school wrote it not Cecyl" "Owh ya? Continue Cecyl not worship? Later God angry loh " "Jeez Cecyl forget" I replied sluggish "I have an idea. Cecyl selling before entering places of worship, worship Cecyl nitip nah same time aunt Rina. After the worship home wares further wrote "the father explained. "Yeah yeah" I jump - jump for joy "Here, boy!" Father hugged "Dad, what the - are you doing?" Cried mama Mengerlipkan father hugged her eyelids and fixed.

Mama is busy with homemade dough on Saturday night. I looked at her work, I wondered what I would sell the first time. Hands are covered with flour mama. I do not intend to interfere with mama this time. I prefer to imagine what will happen tomorrow. Mama did not want to solve my fancy. I do not for a second night missed without a shadow - a shadow that I created myself. My eyelids would not clenched. I can not wait for tonight melelwatkan. I heard the clatter of pans panic of the kitchen, I was still awake. I am embarrassed over to mama in the kitchen. I knew Mom would laugh themselves look odd tingkahku. Moreover, this time, I did not sleep at all. I lay on my bed with a thick blanket of white bandage. I keep every beat of the feet touching the floor. I got up from the blanket roll. I headed for the kitchen, busy mom with a small knife in his hand. Mom put pieces - pieces of cake, all pink basin. Mama enjoyed her movements until she notices me staring at each direction of movement of his hand. "Mama, what are you doing?" "I can wake up son?: Mama notices me "Let Ma, Cecyl need help? 'I sat next to "No, dear. Mama already want to be ready anyway " "Mama get up at what time? 'I investigated "Mama do not know son" I really enjoyed the hand motion with the knife astute mama, mama did not hesitate to cut. Mama also not afraid of the blade could smell leather palms. I can not help my fear of the dangers of the blade. "Ma, liver - liver later mama hit the knife" "No dear pa pa, from mama was not why - napa tuh" "Yeah ma"

"Udahlah, not pa pa, dear" mama menekn blade of the surface layer cake "Look ma 'I'm afraid his mama do not realize you've got "No pa pa. ya mama dont look hand pa pa "refers to the surface of the palm of his hand "Heheheheh" I smiled "Udahlah. GIH bath san! " "Cold, ma" "Had to shower dong. Mama did not want cake mama not sell because - because the seller odor " "Weve come so ma?" "Yes it was" "Bathe me if gito ma" "Gil dong" I prepared myself. An hour before the worship began, I set off. Red Mankok mama filled with a layer cake that is already in over my head. I walked with certainty. I took a comfortable position. Mama has been doing a good job, now it's my turn. I watched my young red bowl. The two men came to worship. There is a pass. There is nevertheless a curious red bowl of my youth. Some just turned to me and some came up to me. Before loncen church rang, my young red bowl is half empty. I plan to continue my activities as a father. "Auntie, I want to worship first week of school. I entrusted the cake ya? " "Yeah, how many more?" While you view into my pink bowl "Less know auntie, then if there is a buy. Tante count aja " "Owh, yes udahlah" smiled to see passed.

I rushed into the house of worship was, I followed the worship without worrying more business. I cheerfully applauded for praise. I also folded hands and closed eyes when prayer was led. Worship was over, I ran as fast as possible to continue the work that was waiting outside the door of worship. I enjoyed my day, day of the week with the proceeds jualanku hitunga. I do not understand very well be money all I got was very valuable. I just feel proud that I have a piggy bank ayamyang always content with my own money I got. I feel proud when I got home mom and dad waiting for me at the front door. "How, boy? What is the rest? "Mama ask my young red cup, which is kutenteng "This time out ma" I handed the bowl "Then how customers had" asked the father hugged "Ordinary aja yah, there are like babbling wrote" I smiled "Lovable. Come breakfast! "Mama finish the discussion about selling the layer cake I did not realize the white uniform - my red uniform was changed to white - blue. I started to take the liberty to develop my wings to fly higher. I no longer menitip jualanku. I'm not a morning worship Sunday School but I worship cyan. Once home I worship a traveling salesman. I'm a girl, hawkers tape. "Tape. Tape. Tape. "I screamed all the way. I still walked along the path if I did not call anyone. I learned a lot of things. I started counting shrewd. I'm getting smarter argued for dealing with people who are too homoeconomicus. Each day, the sky had a story for me. I walk the path, it does not seem beersahabat days this time. Clouds decorated the sky - clouds. I ran with a small step. Point - a point the rain started chasing me. In an instant, I ran in tears the sky. In my footsteps, I began to realize this is not just my happiness but this is a business for life. "Excuse me, ma'am! Can I take shelter here? "

"Owh, yes. Please kid! "He replied friendly "Thank you ma'am" I noticed jualanku. Apparently, all is still safe for sale. I dry myself with a towel that has been wet too. I sit and think. I do not know how this tapeku fate. I knew, tape it good to eat during hot days. Most also said the tape was good to eat with small palm wine. The mother came membagunkanku of delusional. "Son, where are you going? 'Mother was sitting to my place "Selling, ma'am" I said simply "Selling what? Open penutupbakulku "Tape, bu" I tried to smile "Father - father! This is no tape "cried the mother A gang of men - grown men out and surround bakulku standing in the middle of the table. "It's good the" father of the open cover bakulku "Yeah, let alone mixed with wine" said another "Better than durian, ya" added the old man with a white mustache "Yes especially this winter, so the more mantaplah" said new father appeared "But ya sweet right?" Of a father sitting beside "Yes, sir dong" I replied confidently "What proof? Mr. try it? " Without waiting for my permission, he had devoured one piece. I waited for his comments. I doubt his tongue tastes. I made sure to tape my mama. "Steady!" Him the thumbs-up

"Let's count how many packs ya? How much is it? "Said the father of the other "Owh all 45 packs. The price is USD 1000 "I replied with a smile "Yes, we've taken everything" old man with a white mustache spend fifty thousand. "I do not have my change, kek" I handed back the money "No pa pa, take aja, boy!" "No, Grandpa" I refused politely "Think of the good will aja son. Instead of giving the money grandfather "as he stroked my hair "Owh yeah. Thanks kek " I smiled looking at the phenomenon that I experienced today. I'm more proud of what I do. All are busy with the banana leaf parcel. While a father who had been sitting beside me. "You're very clever, my son" he said "Owh" I said smiling narrow because you do not understand "Who told you, son?" "No sir, I want to be alone, sir" "Owh yeah? You're so smart. " "Not really sir" I said simply "That kehujanankan son? Not afraid of the pain? ' "No sir. Later I could shower " "Hmmmm. You're so smart kid. Do not forget to learn ya! " The man mengelurkan his right hand from his pocket. He held out his hand to menyalamku. I could not resist ajakn brotherhood.

8. Dad was a very unusual Batak, Dad uphold the motto "my son is my treasure". Not just a figment, I can prove myself. I know my father did not sleep that night at all but when the rooster crows dad was sitting back in the chair mala situ. "Son, said the teacher's father gave it to me or you wrote the registration money son?" "Geez dad? Dad not sleep? "I was surprised in half totter "I've had to sleep but wake up first" "Owh, I think my father gave it to me anyways father wrote it nyuruh father came to school" "Yes, we've just wrote is going, let's go!" "Dad kecepatanlah, I'm still wrong - wrong" "Well, wait a father" dad smiled "Cecyl, not for long!" Mama added "Yes, ma" I yelled small I did not ever know the origin of the money pendaftaranku. One thing I know the money for it is very expensive for us. I understand that it is borrowed money. Although I really want to know but my father never gave me a chance to know. "Well, the overnight money where yah?" "Why, son? Father gambled ya think? " "Not well. I know it's not the result of a gamble but I also know that money can father where? If not .....? " "Since when do you think the father giving money?" Father soften its tone "Cecyl not mean so well, but if from the beginning we had a fatal outcome would borrow money later"

"Cecyl, money dad and mom duties. Your job is to learn, it's just nothing Traffic " "Yeah, yeah" Done already issue invitations college entrance lane UNIMED PMP, Dad had already shown his responsibilities as a father. I knew he would not fail again after grandmother gave him a chance. Father actually did not fail but I do not believe in myself. I do not give a chance for the father, I immediately measure our existence in a small hut. I feel inappropriate child farm workers in the school but the school negeriyang favorite places cost less. I was too afraid to go against the flow. Direct guts cringe when nominal registration fee is mentioned. I consider myself too young to fight the current or even to go with the flow deraspun I gave up. I chose a quieter flow. I'm afraid to get carried away. Junior High School (SMP) Lintongnihuta dikeanl State 1 well in the county. I was still sitting in the final semester. I sat in a class called superior. I have a lot of flapping wings for an opportunity to width - the width so that I can fly menenmbus clouds. But, I mimilh shut my wings. "Well, child - children, our schools entrusted to propose 10 students enter high school (SMA) seed, Soposurung" Mr. principals took out a piece of paper from his pocket. Then call the 10 0rang the student's name. I heard my name called to order four. I secretly felt proud and confused to act. The silence began to tense the whole class. "Excuse me, sir!" Class president raised his hand to break the silence "Yes, just what is it, boy?" "What provisions are, sir" "The form is already in the office of Mr. Each participant is required to pay a registration fee and since we set off together from here added transportation money. All calculated 150,000 "sounds obvious face value

"Excuse me, sir! How the provisions in the school, sir? " "In short, if you go there later Dormitory. Costs last year, one million dollars per month. But for more details, there are brochures in the office of the father " "Later we will see, father?" "Yeah at rest should" School sounds like noise the crowd bustling bees, I rushed to the office kepalsekolah before anyone else before me. People saw me, I was too excited to be able to follow the flagship high school entrance exams. They do not know how to get through this smash all my heart. "Excuse me, sir! I berdri in the gaping mouth of the door "Cecyl? Log in, boy! Where are the others? " "It will probably follow the pack" I looked down "Please sit down, boy" "You see, sir. I'm resigned to take the exam that "I looked down and did not understand the string of words flowing like water "Loh, why?" His frown menggambsrkan confusion "It was my choice, sir" "Why? Though many who want to take the exam but could not afford "pointing his finger beside his right eye "I know, sir. But our circumstances do not allow there " "You mean economic problems?" "Yes, sir. Willing to pay for one year wrote a book my parents had worked hard, let alone pack for the cost of one million per month. I would just kill my parents slowly - slowly " "Cecyl, better not say so, son. Try to talk first with your parents "

"They certainly did not refuse, sir. This decision Pak " "Yes, already the father did not want to force" "Thank you, sir" Dad did not realize I had turned coward, afraid to dream while mama just knew I could understand it without affecting the state of life to seek ways of view. They do not realize deep in my heart there is fear, fear of failure and disappointment. Heart and my mouth always argue and berkecambuk inside my brain. All this is true - really shook me. I'm not a nice girl, but she was cold. The world is so busy with its rotation so I was living alone for the brood. This is increasingly convinced me to be myself. I graduated from my junior high school, then I snap a ship that no compass. But the father is a great captain, a father can steer my way to get to his destination. "Cecyl, here first son!" Father sitting on a chair teak associated long nails rust unadorned "Yeah, yeah" I took my seat "Later Cecyl like high school where?" "Less knew well. Cecyl really - really do not know " "Why be so" "Cecyl confused yah" "Look SMA or SMK. Not much different but better high school going to college does not mean that CMS can not lecture. But more general knowledge gained from high school " "SMK directly working well right?" "Well, it's still an open field suitable vocational work" "I chose vocational aja yah. In addition to work can also kuliahkan? " "Cecyl, like SMK where?"

"Well here aja" "Department of what?" "Business accounting or perkantoranlah, yah" "That's not in Lintong, right?" "So where's Dad?" "To Pekanbaru to Medan or not or at least not to the county" "Why should it away - far away yah? Right here there? " "SMK here daddy dont you permission" "Why do yah? If the outside area is expensive loh yah. In addition to the cost of living, school fees if here it can be more efficient " "Is not that quality must be high school?" "That's all well" "So you do not want out of the area? Yes if you want to be in high school wrote here " "Yes, even so yah" "By the - the way, the father was heard to Soposurung exam, the flagship high school entrance exam ya?" Father looked at me very sharply "Yeah, yeah" I replied guiltily "How many people from school?" Father like probing "There were 10 people yah" I'm getting pushed guilt "What condition 10 people wrote it, boy?" Father tone slightly lower "Owh it yah? They wrote that part of the "word - I say start cut cut

"Dad Nanya condition" wrinkles in my forehead could not interpret "Pe ....... ring ..... kat class yah "I'm getting nervous "Rating class?" Father clearly - clearly surprised "Yeah, yeah" I looked down "Why do not you love to know the same father or mother? Why did you have to lie to my father? " I'm still, I'm not a smart girl bersilat tongue. "Earlier, the father Tetty meeting on the way home from the fields. Why did you reject the offer? "Tone down father "Registration fee is expensive yeah, Rp 100,000 and Rp 50,000 transport especially if it costs a lot in there well. So I chose to not have to go well " "Cecyl, Cecyl father had not told you to do when choosing a cheap school instead?" "I do not yah?" Without any intention to defend themselves "So why do you think so?" "I do not want Dad to Mom so burdened because Cecyl" "What my father never complained Cecyl you hear?" True father tone - sounded disappointed "Not well" "So why come to this kid?" "Cecyl want school here in high school wrote" second stream of water dripping onto the floor of the corner of my eye "My boy, my father always said if you can do not ever hesitate. Do your part and the part that is learned father was working. Do not be afraid, father to father children definitely support whenever "

"Forgive Cecyl, yeah" I lifted my head "Yes udahlah. Let bygones be bygones and do not act rashly again yes "father stretched out his hands "I promise yah" I ran into the arms of the father I feel inner peace. I knew my father was not angry, but disappointed. I also knew my father was disappointed not because of his name become a byword neighbors. Later I know, people say I did not join the flagship high school entrance exam because my father forbids the limitation. Father was disappointed because he just realized I grow up to be timid girl. Father was also disappointed because I did not memeberinya chance to prove his responsibility to the grandmother. My ears want to burst his race, when rumor has it tergiang in my ears. I want to sue the truth. My parents do not deserve the accusations. The anger smoldering fire, nourishing bath gas. I want to find where the wind was coming so that the fire can be muted.

9. Dad always true about the world, let alone other people can agree with us, we own natural state that we can not agree with what we can. I chose high school that I never imagined before. But I had to choose it for no apparent reason. I take the entrance exam without could feel my heart pounding buoyant. Do not have to wait long, the results have been posted on the school wall magazine. I'm looking for my name. It turns out my name to the sequence 4, the person above me is my rival in junior high. I think there is no competition though pesertaada 400 more and received only 360 people. I'm so swank. "What about the results, my son?" Mama stop memancul "Jebol ma" I said simply "Serial number how? Inquired mama "Number 4 ma" I'm not at all proud "Good" dad sitting next to mama "Not too well, anyway 1 - 3nya, Cecyl friend in junior high" "Yes it's her friends wrote SMP can not compete so you better study hard" "Yeah, yeah" I do not intend I followed tutoring English as an additional extracurricular. I was more skilled at extracurricular learning. I seem too proud of what I've got. Results far end of the semester and the first monthly decline from the first half. I realize this decline but I do not know my father noticed or not. Dad never gave a comment when staring rapotku. "Cecyl, how rapot end of the semester this year" father started the discussion that night

I was silent and submit rapotku. Langung father opened the sheet - the sheet. Dad was silent on one page. I'm sure that the results of this semester. Lembarn father noticed it then to me. I do not know what to say or what to do. "I note the value of getting away from the shadow of your father" Dad pauses as if - as if giving the opportunity to comment "I'm sorry yah!" I do not know what the explanation would meberi "Son, you've heard that the sky had levels? There is also a term he ketujuhdan sky above the seventh heaven seventh heaven again is still there and still more so on. So science mu seventh farthest skies will be futile if the liver was felt at the highest point since the same position under the heel of my father " I'm speechless. I felt the string of words that have formed a sharp knife and stabs pit of my stomach right. Pride myself has made me arrogant and condescending. I was complacent and did not want to initiate it easy. Fundasiku too fragile finally collapsed instantly. I know my father is very upset over my pride, although not indicated by the word - he said. I declare myself to start from scratch. Science will also be silent if we are silent. But science will be transformed if we use it. I'm ready to move forward with a cemented foundation and tiangku. The first year in class XI, I decorate my day to teach where I learned first. I was used as a night student. I left at seven in the morning and came home at seven in the evening. My eyes were already accustomed to waking up in silence when gripping. There is no sacrifice in vain, so let's do our own part. The event was the end of the semester the afternoon, we had to perform our responsibilities in les places looking for knowledge and experience. "Cecyl, teach how les?" Nepry got busy with his tie "Two les"

"Later speeding aja ya? Later we are late we wrote Just one tutoring "Elys been busy with student attendance data "Alright" I stood up to salute "No need so also times" Elys threw my right hand "Ntahlah" Nepry added The clock is ticking we replace the uniform teaching in a school uniform. "Oops, too late for us, right?" Elys gibber "Yes, sorry was not intentionally" "Udahlah do not have to blame! So make time out "persuaded Nepry "Come on, Run!" Ajakk Before we passed the gate barring the school environment. We arrived - arrived silent and we went small - small and join the crowd. "Cecyl, that turn your class" whispered Elys "Yes" is almost unheard "The third Champion Shown Silaban" the voice echoed the applause sounded very crowded "The second position is occupied by ......." Arrived - arrived all was silent "Eldad Sianturi" fanfare sounded back I sighed without sense because I've been holding my breath long enough. Elys hugged me, he seems to know me very deg - degan. He also knows how I got through this semester. Nepry coming from the other side, left me a hug. He stroked my shoulder. My fears returned when all was silent waiting for the next reading. "Come on, who's name will be called next, who is our winner this time? anyone know? "

"Cecyl! Cecyl! ...... "Echoed my name Increasingly erratic heartbeat. "Yes, it's definitely you Cecyl" Elys hugged me tighter and tighter I do not know because what silence "Who?" Was the echoing sound "Cecyl!" My voice echoed back but has begun to weaken "This is Cecylia Sihombing" I lifted her chin. I could not believe my full name was called. I'm speechless without a word. "Come forward, Cecyl dear" Nepry release arms "Congratulations" Elys holding me back I walked with confidence. This time I ventured to build my dream back. I certainly could, I would do my best. I have been a proud father again. I'm not the anger and disappointment father again. I slowly cultivate the wings - wings patahku. I tried to open both my wings. But I have not dared to flapping. I will fly high like an eagle to penetrate the white clouds. I will award the tower behind the clouds for dad and mom. I have started well. I certainly could, the way in front of me it would be more difficult but a good start has burned more fiery spirit.

10. Dad was right again about life, and silence any talk one wrong. Smart was sometimes mistaken as a state. Moreover, over one very stupid because we could oppressed. When I was a disappointment for my father, I was filled with guilt. However, now I became a pride for my father, I am also a burden for them. I have proposed a candidate for the English literature student at the State University of Medan (UNIMED) before the national exam (UN) took place. I do not doubt the outcome, because I did not take the exam teertulis but my grades during high school that will be lodged there. I faced the National Exam. Around me getting busy with tutoring to get a seat State College (PTN). I looked at them and mencobamembandigkan busy with myself. "Cecyl, how to plan my boy" dad asked my opinion "You mean what is the plan?" "You want to go to college or not?" Mama adding the "I'm well, ma. But wants public universities " "So what's your plan? Father heard no guidance in Medan " "No need to yah. Is expensive plus living expenses later " "So? Do you believe in yourself when others can extra lessons " "Owh yeah, yeah akubimbingan in government-funded schools" "Good for you so" I passed the day - my day at school which has delivered me. I had to put down the wall when junior asks why still in school. Sometimes, I taught myself because others feel that they are trivial to do. They do not believe in themselves. Some even come just to escape, shame on the neighbors. I'm sticking with my confidence that there began to crumble. I'm reminded of the phrase my dad Himself knew what was best for me. I also feel more alone when both my best friend to go forward with them to achieve their dreams.

"Cecyl, I will go to Jakarta tomorrow" Elys hug "That was fast" "Yeah, the flight schedule on Friday after tomorrow" "Owh" I said simply, droplets of water flowing out of the second corner of my eye "I was actually trying to say goodbye tonight because I mauberangkat to Medan" Nepry emerged from the bathroom "Loh. More quickly, we are still right there guidance Nepry "I let go of my arms "Yeah, he said I would further guidance in Medan aja" "Owh, so yes. Nope pa pa deh. Good luck yes for both klean " "You want to catch up to when the Medan?" "Still do not know" "We'll meet on the field ya? Love the news that already there " "Yes" I walked alone in the same way, they have carved out a new story in a more beautiful place. I'm happy and sad. I'm happy, my friend had stepped forward. I'm sad, I lost them to move along. I also envy, they could while I was still standing in place. They are always fortress, left and right, when others mencibirku. Now I really - really alone and they also do not know anymore scorn it came as heavy rain. While the topic of me very warm all over my hometown. Want to boast, but there is no evidence. PMP announcement of results was delayed, I was urged to do more and more. I keep the first position as district, unfortunately, a rival not only the district but across Indonesia. I want to boast but I realize this is not the time. My loneliness is not an excuse to not do your best. This is not just a matter of showing kebisaanku but the pride of my father and my mother.

"Dad, Cecyl lived alone in tutoring and guidance" "The others are going?" "They had gone well ' "Yes, already impatient ya, kid. Guidance so they do? " "He said there would be further" "Owh. But it is not yet ready Cecyl guidance? " "Yeah. Well " "Later Cecyl plan when?" "We have simulated exam Sunday May 30, yah. So if I may Saturday I was there " "When ready guidance son?" "May 27 yeah, it's based on a given schedule yesterday" "Owh, if so nice" "But yeah. What we've got ... " "Cecyl, father's father told the affair. Learn son! " Now I'm going to assemble the dream, I will create a miracle of kepercayaanakan effort. All must be running.

11. I always knew every expression of his father and mother were describing his feelings. I saw their faces portray their powerlessness. Every time I asked they would always say all is good and I just need to learn. Time goes by, the face of increasingly frantic prop I really know what they're thinking. But that's my father, his son is his property. "Well, scholarship shavings were out" I was notified at school "Scholarship?" Father snapped out of her reverie "Yeah, yeah scholarship yesterday. There Rp 900.000 "I smiled sweetly "Owh, good boy" "What if I use it to go to Medan, Dad?" "But instead Cecyl want to buy HP?" "Yeah, yeah. But much more needs to Medan than HP yah " "Thank ya boy, it would understand" "Loh I've got to understand it really well" I smiled hugging father "While staying at Aunt Cecyl first huh? Kan responsibility kostnya money just to saatu month " "Fine, well, well Cecyl consulting majors like yah. Cecyl choose International Management but there's nothing in Medan yah " "I can say it's yours, kid's father. I will always support. If you think it's the best why not? "Father assured by choice. "Yesterday Well, I won at Bali's Udayana Literature majors Inggrisjadi the second option Cecyl" "Much - much time?" "I want to be right - completely self-sustained itself well"

"Fine the child's father choice, I'll always support" I walked with certainty, I have expanded my wings and be flapping as strong - strong. I believe the same abilities as I follow the simulation in Medan. Nowadays everything can be made very quickly. We are ready for the exam 11 minutes early, we were able to see the results an hour later. I took an old posel from my right pocket. I was busy with my contacts. I get Nepry name. I'm closer to my ears. "Hallo! Nepry? " "Miss no where?" "I'm in front of the information, do you?" "I was there huh? I've seen, look to your right ya it's me " "Hey, I will wait yes I've seen the" I pressed the red button on the right cell phone. "Hey, what about the test?" Nepry hug "We see the results aja yuk! He said already in paste " "Come on" We walked along the veranda class ranks. We sometimes break the crowd. We went to a bigger crowd all very busy pointing on the wall paper it.They are looking for their names. I start my index finger motion of the paper with the serial number of the last section terakhir.setelah missed three pieces I have yet to find my name. I'm a little give. "This Cecyl name" Nepry chuckle from opposite sides with "Where?" I replied enthusiastically "This" waving "Oh my goodness, I can pass the number 9 and" I smiled proudly "Yeah, you can definitely get in the PTN, International Management, Cecyl is coming"

"Thank you, what's your name?" "It is, but not yet passed" she replied with a smile disappointed "It's still simulated pa pa kok. The real test is still to be improved " "Oklah, flower ' "Why Flowers?" "This is my gift Cecyl later read in the" green envelope handed "What is this? I do not have anything - anything " "No pa pa, flowers. You have not noticed you. I hope you understand " "Hehehehe ... No comment, but I love you" "I love you too" I opened the envelope and a green paper contains. I opened the paper liptan Minmie pink background smiling and decorated green leaves - the leaves. Graffiti - coretannya meets the line on the paper. my dear sweet I was amazed bwaget ma u really, really - really amazed, why? Sndiri I can not imagine, how lucky I am to be your friend. You always made my day - my day is full of meaning and full of color. My friend, I will always pray for your presence makes jiwku unukmu filled with struggle. Every time you fight, there will be vibration in my heart ngucapin tuk "How fortunate to be him" what are you doing my friend is definitely the best and I believe you can do it for all people Whom you love. I opened the next sheet, One word for you

I just want to say you'd be the best of what is already I see I'm just saying You've done the best yng of apayang they already do I'm just saying You're a flower in bloom the flowers have wilted I'm just saying you're able to pluck a flower among a swarm of bees I'm just saying You are able to walk among a row - a row of spines But do you realize dreamer girl in kebimbanganmu, in grief, in agony, and all the things that make your heart melancholy we will be there and there is always a

Nepry I'm a flower, I looked at myself tersnyum. I never realized my silence to make sense of my surroundings. I did not even realize any value to their members I said. I'm more determined to continue the steps. I grabbed my cell phone from my right pocket, my thumb was dancing dancing on the button. Thanks a lot. I love you No comment, and Wish you luck I got a reply in a matter of minutes, Ok, flowers

12. Before the week I was faced with changing the actual battle. It may be true, this is about my battle with yng second. I have managed to conquer the national collection of exam questions. Although not so sure but I always remember my father said neighbor world. The world arrogant, do not let him once - once so proud, or you will be thrown. As the world is arrogant, then so be more arrogant if you want to survive. "I'm sure all the correct all definitive answer and of course I would enter" male voice - sounded jarring men among the crowd. "Yes, I kirain SNMPTN matter how hard it that much but wrote" male voice said - man in front of me "Gosh, when I was dripping with sweat in the air - ac" I whispered to myself "Okay - it's normal. Kujaminlah I definitely broken " "Come on, Cecyl. You can be as confident as they are "I smiled Before June ends, the announcement has been published. I took my pocket money 1000dari. I bergegs into the net in front of the house. I began to busy themselves with the keyboard and mouse. Before I click ok, I menarahkan pointer without pressing I closed my eyes and pressed. I split my eyelids slowly. I melihata clearly, "Congratulations Cecyl Sihombing accepted in International Management, University of Tanjung Pura". I'm jumping for joy, I feel proud of yourself forgetting that part will come. I do this not make me selfish. I forget who I am, I feel the same as everyone else. I called dad. "Hello, yeah. Cecyl in. " "Owh, yes? Congratulations ya boy "tone was heavy "The same - the same well." "Home was you huh? Bbiar we take care of the administration of the school " "Owh ok, yah"

I pressed the red button. I still do not realize the significance of fathers for salvation heavy tone. I was proud when asked, I feel the world has been able to defeat arrogance. I felt he had become effloresce interest. I feel as eagles fly through the clouds. I forgot to pay attention to my surroundings. I do not remember the road is still long. I ignored the flowers begin to wilt. I even forgot that sky rise. Is not the world full of finesse to not recognize anyone else? I began to realize when I became a byword in his own native country. I have crossed out the black ink in my village, but I was treated as pencoreng good name. "Cecyl, you're doing to Borneo?" "Want to college" I feel slighted "Why so much? What is in the field not better? What are you doing at auntie candid wrote lying! "Tone sounded suspiciously clear snagat "Because I like it. Anyway for what I had to lie to auntie? 'I was a bit annoyed "I heard you do not win," the tone was sounded hearts - hearts "Who told you? Fine if I do not win anything at tnte affairs? "My tone rises. My anger began to rise. "Tante only hear the sound" "Kan told you already tan, not a matter aunt. I do not want to say anything - anything " "Tante love with you so, I want to hear your confession itself" aunt began to defend themselves "If dear aunt with me and definitely more confident with me. Owh ya tante open university website wrote Tanjungpura my exams and this number "I took out a piece of paper. I left it on the seat weathered it with mom. Mama only able to look at me with pity. I know you've wanted to stand up but no one succeeded katapu diucapnya. I flung the door very loudly. I cried behind my door. I'm sad my honesty and my ability dipertaanyakan. Slowly, the

door was moving and open space. Obviously, Mama stood at the mouth of the door. Mama moved and sat on the edge of my bed is already sluggish. "Cecyl!" Mama stroking my hair I'm moving to a mama's lap, I was still sobbing and remove liquid pearl beads on the ground my cheek. "Son, why are you crying? Not to my son. Tears are too expensive for them " "But Ma, Cecyl not like digitukan" "Mama understands. Is not the father and Cecyl that says if the world is arrogant? " "But, Ma" "Cecyl, dad also told me when the world began to be more arrogant cocky then. Now do not need to cry, but equally they show that it is indeed a great Cecyl ". I nodded and started to stop sobbing - sobbing and felt a difference in my mother who often disagreed with his father live a matter of principle. "Come on, do not cry anymore, kid!" "Mama Who told you so?" "My son, what is the need to find out is who? That's just the hurt you " "No ma, it is necessary" "It does not need to be my son. Now you just need to learn to show who Cecyl "mama smiled. "Yes ma" I know the real mama also feel the cuts are felt. Mama already familiar with what is happening on earth. Mama has a lot of taste the salt of the world.

13. A week passed after the announcement, I began to frequently play with my delusional world. I prefer to chat with a dark sky. The sky is crowded by stars and the moon or the sky deserted. I was trying to string words on white paper. I loved the lonely. I did not dare look at the eyes of mom and dad's face. There is pride and distress. When dawn broke, I went with my father and mother to the land where the excavation sustenance. I can not help, I chose to sit under a tree with coffee beans - coffee beans civet former. This time not starry night, my blue pen started dancing on my white paper. Syairku begin to form but sometimes looks are not disconnected. I arrived - suddenly realized this evening, in the evening a teenager. Saturday night felt the chill of the night air patrol empty sky looks hamparn increasingly tense silence Saturday night dark the girl sitting hugging her legs looked away unseeing I stopped because it sounded right in front of both my eyes. "- I wonder what she was thinking?" Father stood still and looked at my papers. "Dad?" I was shocked "Come on, continued his verse!" Father smiled and sat down.

"I can not no idea, yah" "Loh why?" "The idea is already flying high yah" "Owh, unfortunately. So what are you thinking? " "No, well, just think for syairku" "Well, Cecyl heard the father to the bank and borrow money ......" "Who told you? Is not no son. "Tone sounded surprised dad "Well, for what is true at Cecyl father? I was the most selfish person well. How do you pay father's debt? And what if we seized the house? " "Cecyl, dad was not going to say anything we do to support you achieve goals - fulfill YOUR" father hugged "But that does not mean abandoning father and mother and sister? 'I cried "Who says we neglected? Bhuktinya dad can laugh? "Father smiling "I do not want to live there happy while mom and dad and sister are also here met the debt" "Dad, promise it will not happen" "Stay aja yah" "A what? My dad told me right? Come on, you're going to go according to plan next week " "Why, father?" Mama approached us "Cecyl going to say ma, pa pa Cecyl not work once the new college" "Nope. Pretty mama wrote my abject, whatever we do to support you and there is no waiting for the word "mama sounded emotional tone

"But ma, I can not hear what people are saying mama pembohonglah, ngutanglah handyman father, I am left who do not know. I'm tired Ma " "Let them Cecyl. Now we have to mengahdapinya to thicken ear "Mom explained "Cecyl, if we cry means we are weak and we mean?" "We lost out" I replied "So for that?" "We ignore our surroundings and keep pace" "Well, it is still remembered. Stay prove. " "Do not ever forget that God is always heard the cry of the righteous'

14. I know but I do not know or pretend - pretending not to know that I know. My dad always said it was a part. So I do not need to know, I just need to do my part as a winner. My father always took me to remain optimistic in the world. Mama did try to get me to face contempt realistic world. Mama always believed there is a God and all is ordained by God. We have to accept it even if we actually ever want tidsk kits. I feel the mama began to adopt the principle of the father. When I fall by hatred around me. I'm now trying to assemble a dream - it's a beautiful dream in order to reach the word 'pride'. I rearrange the debris - debris that had collapsed dreams. My heart have always been able to pretend - pretending not know the source of dozens of pieces of "red paper" called money. But, my logic is getting stronger with the presence of myself to stay optimistic step. "Tell father, then yes Cecyl!" Father waved his hand My journey began in the province of North Sumatra, Medan. I tried to trust myself and forget what has happened. I closed my eyes and leaned back. Lord, I chose this path and you let me start this step. So I believe this because you ridhoi. I choose my way into your hands. I need a problem that has been waiting on the other side. Bless my father and my mother, made them stay strong as I know. I'll be your pride. Amen I pulled out a book and a pen friend, I started merangaki hundreds of words, which describe my feelings at this time double. I'm sure going to step away from my father and my mother. I have hope. People say it's crazy. But I say this big dreams, there is enough intention and effort. I will not bother anymore with the hiss of the wind trying to subvert the root of the tree. ***** "Dek, already been on a plane before?" Man in white ash - ash toward me. "Not yet, Bang" "Well, then Adek sitting here first will be led officers Lion Air plane to the gate."

"Thank you kak" An hour after check-in, I've been on the gates aunt conversation started chatting back in my ear. "Cecyl, if in places other people do not connect the innocent face soks ok but do not be too late. Continues, then if transit in Jakarta guard Tanya wrote " I step on the stairs, I sat down with a sense of uncertainty was the first time I was passenger aircraft. I felt the vibrations and shocks when the engine was roaring loud. I pay attention to every nook and women or men - men in uniform standing in Kelang row passenger seat. They become very astute viewer. I was flying over the white clouds and no longer walk on a black ground. Back shake it thrilled me, when I felt the wheel was no longer above the clouds but already on the ground. I followed the instructions, I went though a little nervous. I'm a smart newcomer, I see two guards in gerbanng it to indicate the direction. All is not as difficult as I had imagined. Because the instructions were very clear. I tried pressing the red button to activate hpku. Ringer sounds Nadaa said - answer. There are a lot of people are waiting for my news. There are fathers in the land of my birth that far. There tante responsible with my brother's departure, and no across the island waiting for me. I'm not familiar with the situation at the airport, I felt very panic when my flight is not as stated in my ticket. I forget the little rubber-hour culture with the country. Two hour delay departure made him anxious, I'll be there when it was night when I newcomer. My brother waited too long. This time I was not too nervous, I started comfortably with existing facilities in the plane. I could not miss a moment above the clouds for a second. I've looked at clouds began to move away and the sky began to dim gradually become darker. I do not even feel afraid to set foot on foreign soil, soil Dayak.

After the shock of the landing aircraft passes a sign, I press and hold the red button my little cell phone. Message ringtones gradually - gradually came, then stopped by when "My Daddy" written on the screen. "Cecyl already where my son? 'I heard the sound of my phone are concerned disebearang "It is well, it has just landed and want to take some luggage" "So what have you contact your brother's?" "I've read his sms yah. Brother was already in front of the waiting and wear black " "Yes, already. Contact the brother's son! " I hear a beep repeated. I immediately tamper - tamper switch my phone back, before I press the green button to call, my phone sings again. "Yes, I've nyampe bang but still waiting for my luggage" "Owh, my brother is in front of the gate so the deck. Brother wearing a black leather jacket " "Yeah, bang. I'll call you back when it came out my brother " "Deck, you're wearing a blue shirt box box is not it?" "Yeah bang" "Abang already visible from the outside deck" "Yeah bang" I do not know what to say "Deck" Bang Deny waved "Yeah, Bang" I walked towards them "What about the deck?" While menyalamku "Well, bang" I said simply and seemed nervous after knowing Deny brother did not come alone. "Kenalanlah first!"

"Dery, deck" man burly muscular and stocky but not great "Cecyl, bang" "He embarrassed the deck, this is your brother's girlfriend Rena" Bang Dery took my hand "I'm Rena, deck" "Cecyl kak" "Come back later wrote benighted" Bang Deny solve introductory greeting event "Deck, you're as brother wrote it?" "No pa pa deck right? Dery same bang? Brother was good anyway "Bang Deny pulling luggage. "Yeah bang" I followed the directions Bang Dery We climbed the big bike style now, I felt the earth empty enjoyed stiap breeze. I enjoyed the breeze that tried to seduce my neck feathers. I pressed my upper and lower teeth. I split my eyelids second look at the beautiful city lights. The roar of motorcycle engines adorn the streets of the city hustle. None of the city that was missed by both my eyes. "Deck, not cold?" While turning the hand brake "No pa pa, bang" I smiled "Wear had brothers wrote the deck!" Lowered the zipper jacket thickness "Owh" I always said the words that have no meaning when a nervous attack "There is still much we dekku trip, about an hour" "Owh yeah bang" I went back to play with the imagination of the Dayak land known as equatorial monument. I'm proud to be a guest or even a new person here. I did not recognize the Pontianak stored. I live with my new family, my father is no longer with me. Dad did not pick me up when the fear

hit me at night. Father no longer tell the story - the story first. Dad never menyelidikiku again when I shut up and wrinkled my forehead. But, I have a brother figure who take care of me. "Deck, if you want to leave the house. Goodbye at us ya? "Bang Dery sitting in front of me "Yeah, bang" I nodded "Later we Kawani wrote, deck. If you want to go anywhere - where " "Yeah bang" "Because here the deck, instead of the most feared criminals like pickpockets in Medan but here a lot of sex criminals" he said with a small laugh "If you look along the street overnight pasangankan much?" "Yes bang" "Well, we too culturally different deck. If the field says I Love You's, commonplace: but here the sentence could have been very serious, his parents brought - carry deck " "Yeah bang" "So, do not hesitate - our reluctant same story deck" I did tebiasa up early but not used in the kitchen. I do not djadikan as sister in charge of the homework but I'm a little girl who taught and maintained. I feel at home, where there was my father always spoiled me. I'm in Pontianak is me at my house.

15. Since Thursday, my first day in the equatorial region. I'm waiting for the 'H' re-registration. But on Sunday the day before, I am increasingly aware that I am not a girl, the rock. I enjoyed every heat of the sun at the equator. "Cecyl, there is good news son" sound coming from my phone "What good news yah?" "Son, incredible. You've received in the last UNIMED people in the tavern story. Read the brand name " "Yeah yeah" do not sound proud "Congratulations, son!" "Yeah yeah. I'm happy " "My boy, my father started to think. What is not better Cecyl ngambil that in this field? It more closely? "Tone vibrate father "Nggaklah well. I'm more than happy here and I preferred majors are here " "I try to understand, son. But the father suggest thought - well first thought! " "I'm certain that well, stay here" I said firmly "I do not intend to deprive the father first appointment, I'll always support your choice, kid" paused father "Dad's just not ready, my son to let you stay there. For example, if there is an accident or a severe problem we can not quickly catch up Cecyl there. We also do not have close relatives there, but if the field right there tante " "I also think there yah but I believe God will always be with us well" "I know my son, dad worry and very hesitant to let you go there. Who's your friend a story later? "

"But yeah, once buakankah saying goes straight wet bath. We already spend a lot of money, if I continue to ..... "I tried to find the reason "Do not permasalahkan money, my son. Later the father thought. If money is it, father's father were lost gambling suppose. Are not there already more than a futile waste of my father? " "But the situation is already different inikan yah? 'I tried to reinforce the self"My son, my father's father destroy property by false pride. So the money for it ongkosmu nothing - nothing compared happiness father " "Well, first father DAPT easy money. Now the coins are very valuable cepekpun " "Although. But, it's better father perish if pride could still father watched ' "But yeah, back to Medan ongkosku already pay enough tuition a year" "Son, father Cecyl sure there will be good - good. However jug father asked, Cecyl consider "a resigned tone clearly visible "Yeah well," "One father wrote a request. Never blame the father if there is a problem in UNIMED. Decision in my hands. No need to think about the money it will be worth it "daddy hit her tone "Yeah yeah" "Pray first tonight, asked for directions to your choice so that there are no regrets later" "Yeah, yeah" "Pagilah Tomorrow, we'll talk about it huh, kid?" "Yeah yeah" I thought back to my story, I believe that God has crowned me as mahasisiwi University of Tanjung Pura (UNTAN), so I can stand on tanh Dayak. God the father is seen, the father will not let her fall into the abyss. I saw the father cowards hidden neatly.

"Well, maybe true father said. I better stay close to my father " "I mean, going back to Medan Cecyl?" Father sounded a little surprised "Yeah, yeah" "What Cecyl sure?" "Yeah well, why do not pa pa" "Dad please do Teetapi no regrets at dad" "Yeah yeah" State University of Medan has been waiting for, Pontianak will be just as beautiful memories. I was not convinced by my choice alone. I can only say that all of this happens by the will of God. It might sound silly, life on earth is a mystery because there is a term of the past, present and future. Depanlah future questions. "Bang, I'm going back to the field this week because I was told to go home the same father" "Why deck" "Because I will burst in UNIMED" bang Dery opened his eyelids "Let me tell you the same mother and father of the deck?" "Yeah bang, the first father knows" "Fine, we'll take care of your ticket ya deck" "Yeah bang" "Maybe the deck, your parents are not ready to let you go. Because you were the first and still spoiled child? " "Less knew bang" I tersenym spoiled

I was turning around to go back, I became a byword. I became gaids who do not know themselves. Handyman girl a liar like his father. My life is my life, and I choose then I am entitled to. I remember this quote others 'right to believe about me, and I reserve the right to ignore' I returned to my father, I know my father knows best for me. My father is more than ornag Tashu me out there who just looked at me from afar.

16 I promised my father that there will be no regrets in this my choice. Life is not just a question but also a mystery. Question has a definite answer to the mystery while leaving many questions. Mystery of life is unpredictable. I convinced myself, that UNIMED would be the best option, although already it seems clear from the outset that the difference in the cost of tuition is much cheaper than UNTAN UNIMED. I used to be told to go line by PMP as ever, the opportunity to get a scholarship. Turns UNIMED greeted by unfriendly. "Bang, why not register our names on the wall magazine?" We throng - throng to the Student Association office (HMJ) "Yesterday when re-registration, klean love folders not to the office department?" "Yeah bang" we replied in unison "Wait ya deck, I contact the Head of Department" "Yeah bang" sound of faint Rose plump man struggling with his cell phone and leave us alone. We waited but it never came. We remain puzzled by our status. My heart is true - true rebel. "Dek, PMP Line's been likened to a temporary extension extension no literature. You will be redirected to education " "Lah, bang. Literature listed in the announcement is not education english english, this means already calculated dong? "My tone sounded disappointed "It was not my decision deck, but the department head decision. You are responsible for a number of class while the class of at least 20 people " "Bang for the night we checked NIM KRS, our students English literatures bang" cute black girl with curly hair explaining

"Yes I deck, will be decided tomorrow. Lagilah come deck ya tomorrow! " Several meetings did not produce anything that is just the answer "wait yes deck!" Or "be patient deck!" I'm a little tempted by this but I remember my choice no regrets. I can not sue anybody - anybody. I took my little friend. This time I could not string a sentence into poetry. Dear GOD I do not know what to do and say, but I'm sure that everything is happening Because of Your willingness. I believe that there will be fruit in UNIMED. I Realize that I just Began my step and the more hurtful and most will come upon me. I think that I am not strong enough for that, Thus I ask for not to avoid this path but to be strong to walk through. I step so far just because of you, so I will be Able to finish my part well. Thanks God Amen Other students who have entered the respective classes - each class and get started. I imagine they are acquaintances. They share about their school - each. We do not yet know what our class. "If you do not clear so doing made the announcement that" I grumbled 'Patience wrote comrade! " "The others I put on when we learn unclear status" "What is that can we do?" "Dek, klean ten people entered the literary class A huh?" "That bang?" White head-scarf girls started asking questions "You still literary extension but one with a regular class

We miss a day with regular students. I was a little nervous to meet them. I'm sure they are people - smart people who are arrogant. I was silent and did not dare to give an opinion even though I really wanted. But afraid of me locked up. I feel isolated and neglected in the classroom. I forgot my dad 'metropolitan city of Medan, where their lives - each. We're there when we have something worthwhile. ' I'm not a girl who likes to meet and greet, I'm friends with the new hard. I increasingly feel alone in the crowd. Tante had enough to eat salt in this town, watching could not blend in with my surroundings. "Cecyl know not when we are silent we are arrogant means" auntie hug "Yeah tan but ....." I realized aunt were directing me "Where other people know you're scared and they do not want to know" "Yes tan" "Do not ngurung kept myself in my room! All - time to watch with my other children boarding ama " "Yes tan" "They're all in really well, son. So do not be afraid! " "Yes tan" "Why yes yes instead?" Aunt saw me laughing very gullible namppak "So what can I say more tan? 'I laughed "So how was the first day of college?" "It's a bit boring, I is not no friend kept me feeling neglected so hell tan. Perhaps because of our extension and new entrance today " "So do not be silent - silent wrote. But you said silence was not golden. Show that you are Able to speak english "

"How?" "You do not know or pretend - pretending not to know?" "I know the answer teacher? 'I raised both my eyelashes "And ask the lecturer was necessary" "Ok, I get in it" "College means we've got something" "Something?" Wrinkled forehead "We have to have something different from others"

17 I'm confident with myself, I can be different and have something more valuable than others. I really was disappointed in myself and my choices. I have chosen the wrong feeling. I looked at myself and recognize my surroundings. There are a lot of people are very lucky. "Well, good night" "There's the story of what son?" "Well, I'm jealous of my friend well together. They get a scholarship while learning to play play aja. Most make me upset, well, the money to buy hp " "Look, kid. Maybe not a new thing you can easily hear the term so easily lost " "But yeah, I feel all of these unfair. Father and mother struggling to pay college tuition is more expensive as the second half of this. Though they are able and funded for luxury " "Cecyl, dad always said that the world would never be fair. They're lucky, while we accept that injustice " "Cecyl also feel so well," "Well, my father believed that God existed and know your disappointment. But God wants to father children with other berbedah. Cecyl should be set up to be strong " "I'm going to learn to think positively yah" "Good. Now Cecyl should not be discouraged just because they feel neglected. Cecyl have to show I can stand on my own feet. This I stepped in a wind storm could go with strapping " "Ah, there's father - there aja. It's called arrogant "I laughed "Well so dong, daughter's father had to laugh" "Yeah, yeah" "It's been a year living in Medan, there are not men - men who looked at the child's father?"

"Alah, father. I think there is no "I laughed "So it was like dululah well. Did not come out like that? Friends hanging out ama " "Not well, mending at home watching, reading, or sleeping" "We do need refreshing, son?" "Read and watch including the father" "Future is not no changes in the village and at the shoreline tanh" father mocking tone "Yes, do not pa pa. The important thing yah enjoy "my tone snob "Fine. We want ama mama weekly evening and Joel " "I'm the father!" My tone whine "Perhaps. But go home! " "Let's eat fried bananas. Ya still tasty warm "sound of distant Joel "Uh, Adek. Do not be so! "Mama characteristic tone audible reply "Fine deh yah. Met night yah " "Met the night too, son. Do not eat noodles wrote our boss said "father closed air communication that we do every night of the week. I paused at the corner of my bed with the El me that I got when I first went to Pontianak. Home atmosphere depicted clearly in my head. I re-stringing words - said the father. I reopen my wounds, in January 2012 before the semester begins. I was scared and very afraid. I've been busy with cloth piled beside me. Tok tok tok, sounding very loud. I mebukakan door, I looked at him from head to toe. Fear creeps back of my neck bristle. "What is it sir?" "You what?"

"Again the same out mama. Pack " "Give this letter!" Tone quite mengelegar "Yes sir" I looked at a white envelope with a cover of Bank Danamon. I removed the adhesive envelopes. Turns out it was a letter of debt arrears. I'm speechless, I cried. "Dad, there is a coming last. The man left the envelope yah "I was handed an envelope that is not the whole "Who yah?" "The banks, Ma" arrived - arrived all silent "So all this time. What people say is true? I'm too selfish. So if the house is seized how? We will live where? "Me cry "Cecyl, have not you said that life belongs to God so let God do it" "But I've been torturing my father and mother" "Cecyl, you've just completed the first chapter beautifully now know, the next baba much more difficult. So you need to understand it all around " "I understand why dad and mom a lie so I do not burden" "We told you from the beginning that we could do anything, we will do so as you succeed" "So how is this right? The college money we use to add the arrears first wrote this? " "No it's for college money. Do selembarpu in use from there! " "Later we seized homes yah" "It will not. I promise " "I do not want selfish yah"

"You're not selfish son. All of this is our right " Is now open to clear the actual state, now our hut, we treasure one - only one will also disappear. I can not pretend - pretending not to know again. Inlah circumstances which made me very upset when other people think it is easy money. I'm thankful to have a father who has always understood the intent of my heart. I tried their luck acknowledge and understand the process of character development. I got brave and confident after my father told me I was a girl of choice. The proof I have a story that is not logical to UNIMED English literature student. I was first through the clouds into the sky.

18 "Dad, no way invites me tomorrow" I began a story about a man who end - the end is often menyamabangiku. "Owh ya? Good dong? " "But I have not said yes, yeah. I'm still confused yah " "Why?" "I'm still new on yah, it was he who had introduced Leo heartbroken because I" "Why should it matter?" "No pa pa it yah?" "Is not feeling should not be enforced?" "Just the way anyway - so wrote the hell yah" "Yes roads - all roads deliver heart" "Nothing so well. GR own father made me so " "I guarantee you 99.99%. courtship was well fit the plot origin "father laughs "Not sure yah" "Importantly, Cecyl ngomongnya slowly and not offend" "Well familiar" Dad is very true. I still Cecyl who do not have the intention to double my beloved book and pen. Two thumbs arrived - arrived I gave him, when I let him down he just makes me proud. He has a big heart, he's not the least changed. I will end the infantile stage - kanakanku, I am no longer 17 years old girl. He made very special by the end of childhood - kanakku.

"We have been watching Indonesian Idol with the Leo ya ama deck?" Kak Septhy with forcing his tone "No way" "Come on deck!" "The man with ama - men? Iyalah good brother " "Mandatory or?" "Yeah deh kak" I know being threatened on me All runs are. Our eyeballs bulging as if - as if going out at the screen of the TV. we keep ignoring Leo and Salas went. Long after I was getting restless. But I was arrested and locked up in a dark room alone, in the blink of candles forming the number 19 to share the light. "Wow, great! Is this for me? " "Come on, make a wish continued titup candle!" Kak septhy take a position with tar in his circle "Ok." I closed my eyes. "JESUS, thanks for being in this age. Thanks for they are and thanks for everything. Jesus, I am in a troublesome. My home will be Seized while I have to pay my college tuition for this third semester. Please let me be stronger for the next troublesome. Amin "I opened my eyes and grain - grain had tears down my cheeks. "Already" I blew the candle with pride. "Thank bang, kak" "Just - just my deck" kak Septhy hug "Want dong" bang Leo plays her eyes. We laugh "I'm sorry we is not no presents, so you're free to boss us doing" Salas at me "I've been happy with it all. Owh yeah, I'm sam bang sister brother Leo continued singing for poetry "

All enhanced when our party tart, we were covered in butter - sweet butter. I'm not so sure but maybe I just feel obliged to thank for it all, so I feel awkward with him. "Abang aka back to the village, right? I no deposit bang " "Really Adek not?" Leo asked me bang behind "I was in Medan bang" "Why is the deck?" "No pa pa bang" I'm not smart stringing words - I said Leo did not ask again, but not with Salas. He did not ask why but she could read when I was trying to hide something. I did not understand the language of his eyes. I was handed a yellow envelope. Morning dawned, I woke up from my sleep with my message tone 'Thank You, Lord' was the message the father. Happy birthday to ya, my son! Remained strong with this situation. We can definitely get through this all. Father, mother, brother love you "before I pressed the button for the reply, I have to accept the call. "Dek, already awake?" "I can bang. What's the bang? " "Sorry deck, I've opened mplop titipanmu overnight sassy" "Owh" I disagree tone signifies "I know the deck. There is something Adek hide. So I asked the deck, please tell me with me " "What would I tell anyway bang dont think there is anything" my tone a bit haltingly. "Deck, I did not know you long deck, but I know what your tone being now" "Yeahh" I sighed tub tertangka someone lying wet "Deck, I know the deck you're not a girl who would open just like that, but I beg deck"

"Brother do not talk gitulah not pleasant to hear people. Later diikir are not - do not " "Let me know you deck, after reading your poem and letter to mom and dad, I cried and did not sleep all night deck" "Astga" explained my tone ketidakbersediaanku "I beg deck" "Oh no, bang. We want to worship before yes? " "Later we worship there ya go home?" "But I'm not biased promise the same story my brother" "We'll get there aja ya deck" "Fine" Everything felt strange to him. I'm not a sensitive girl like the others, but I'm trying to understand the man's attitude. I do not want all of this too much, I began to realize he does not even hate when I have always told you not to love him. I do not want to make it a part of my problem. "Deck, exactly what is happening with you deck?" "So I want to tell you that there is not the same brother" "Dek, senag times you made me curious?" "I do not mean loh bang" "Please lah deck, I can not remain silent while another troubled sister" "Deck, you do not have to ask over and over again but instead inhabited this" I was speechless and I understand how he feels sakityang.

"Deck, I knew I was not who - whom you. But this time wrote you can not refuse me the deck? " "Geez bang, I is not no intent to hurt my brother" "I know the deck but that's what was going on, I've waited an hour ago from the deck. You let me go home once again wrote the deck? " "Bang gini aja, that you let me go home again so I wrote the deck?" "Bang gini aja, daddy and mama banged cost, so I will be working during the holidays. Enough already? 'I cried. "I know it is not easy for you, the more you're buried you semkin torturing yourself. Try to open each other! "Thrusting a white handkerchief. "But it's hard for me .." "You're hard to trust each other the deck, I could see clearly but believe the deck, I want to be your friend to share" take position next to me. "Sorry to bang, I'm so inconvenient brother" "Why be bothered,? Kan brother who asked "smiling at me "Deck, so what would work?" "The plan I'm going to work as a baby sitter or a maid" "What?" Ball matany like going out alone "Yes a bang, I'm not really sure what else I could pay significant college tuition" "Jeez deck, you can use your college money enough money abang" "What? Do not want. I msih of hands and feet had to work so I do not have to bother my brother or anyone else " "So what could I do for the deck?"

"Help me in prayer!" "Did not you ever hear the word deck prayer without works is nil?" "Yes, I know but for now, that's the first" "But the deck, are you sure to work as ...." "I'm not smart or shrewd au homework but can learn it? 'I got the point "Abang afraid deck, if you work there? Later, if anything - what? " "Abang believe in God? He will menjagaiku "I smiled spoiled, smile that has not been chatting on my cheek "Lovable dekku" I realize My Changes are instantly silent, as flexible as I can tell it. "Deck, please let me know if there's - what is it?" "Yeah bang" I realized he was not who - who for me, and vice versa, there is no status that binds us to establish familiarity it. I just knew he was the man who broke her heart because of his affection for her refusal. I would not be as easy as it claimed I had fallen.

19. I'm not sure what will happen. But I attempted to convince myself when my surroundings are sure none would be my ability to face the challenges that are waiting for me. One aunt who is seriously worrying how I was doing. "Are you sure you want to be a maid or baby sitter?" "No choice, tan ' "But you do not know ngerjain homework" "I'm going to learn everything I can" I convinced myself "You can learn at your master's house later that there you will be cursed" "I'll do what I can tan" "Cecyl, seringkan heard the news about the torture of maids? Moreover, we have no idea as to what your boss is not so little 'aunt tried to influence me. "Aunt, I know all the news. Even I was also scared, but there was my choice " "I just khwatir, not only because so little all the damaged" "I'm sure, God is on my side," I tried to convince myself that are very fragile "We can find another job" "Auntie, I need money to pay tuition and the next month should Kismet work temporarily if there - here, it took tan" I could not hold back my tears. "Tell you wrote, you there tomorrow! But remember if you can not let me let's find another place " "Yeah, tan '

I still went with my doubts. I set off towards the world that has never kupijak with a ten thousand capital Apparently, I'm not as strong as stone akrang sudh say first. I fell when fear had hold of me. I fell. "Anybody want to Pinang Baris?" Driver was turning his neck backward "Yes" I replied very doubtful "Disconnected place alive ya deck?" "Loh? 'I replied shocked "Yeah right deck you probably do not own a tuck there" she replied with unfriendly "Dad was saying the same Tapikan my aunt would ngantar me to Pinang Baris gallon?" "But you see, it is not no passenger" while others fall one by one "Sir, he seems not to know this so it was natural temapt father ..." a mother who was paying the fare and wait for the change "Yes udahlah" it sounded furious father and mother was cut statement I jumped out. I really messed up I chose a move not irrational for some people since I was confident. I'm probably going to move slowly without haste - haste. "Yes, already make lamaranmu first letter to the glove factory. Let us between tomorrow " "Yeah, I'm also waiting for the tan STTB my high school, because it should be attached" "Fine. Call the first person mama " "That was already tan" My little cell phone rang, 'Salas' clearly displayed on the screen. "Yes, hello! Already that bang? " "I can get out in front, deck!"

I immediately jumped out of my seat. Ran out, I figure he'd been sitting waiting on Ninja with blue and white color combination. He looked at me with a smile. "Come, come bang!" "Herein briefly deck! Anybody want kubilangkan " "What's the matter?" My forehead wrinkled and approached "We should talk outside deck?" "By the outside? Many mosquitoes bang "I'm busy with my calves are already hitting itch "It does not mean the deck here, we go some where so" "Owh, asked aunt used to bang lah!" "But Adek will you?" "Yeah, ngggak pa pa, bang anyways brother is already willing ngantarin but if you permit tante ya?" Ninjanya him down, I was led to the front entrance door. I shut up and sit down. He began stringing words - he said it beautifully, and he got permission aunt. "Go home do night time yes?" "Yeah auntie" she replied very simple Along the way I locked my lips meeting - a meeting, I said I was saving vocabulary. I answer that question without asking perfunctory attacked behind. "Deck, from the beginning I've not sure Adek would go there, brother ask you to be honest with me first what exactly is going on" "I'm afraid of getting lost, bang. Because artisan angkotnya dropped me in the middle of the road "

"As simple as that? A Cecyl not be as easy as it turn around? "His eyes looked at me very deeply. I felt something I can not explain. "Deck, I know I'm not - you whom but please be honest the deck! What is this? "Gaze softens my heart "Actually, from the beginning I've hesitated. I was scared like a victim ayng aunt say "I stopped with my tears "Deck" the voice came back mengakkan back me up bumiku "I was scared. Builders continue angkotnya angry father - angered me more hesitant especially minimal so I'm afraid my money is getting lost " "That's right deck, last night I Nanya insufficient money deck? You said what? "Tone tone was not angry but disappointed ": I do not want to bother other ornag bang, my problem so my problem is not a problem brother or someone else" "I know the deck, but why do you have puffed up with yourself? You need another oraang deck. We can not live alone aja " "I tahuu bang" "That is not no duitmu sekarng right?" "Owh, I do not need money now bang" I'm very terbata - brick because I can read the next sentence "Deck, you can not lie" him a little smile "This used to wear when going to ongkosmu - where" sheet issued unag hundred thousand. "Ha? Here's what I'm afraid "I looked at him with angry "Deck, can not you see my gift from the positive side?"

"I still do not want to, anyway, I do not want to. I'm not a girl who would be bought with money like this " "Deck, as much hinakah myself in your eyes so you're telling me is to buy you but not at all my intention for it" "Anyway I do not want to" "Udahlah! I want to go home " "Deck, you always resist batuanku, deck now I'm begging you please accept this!" "Abang weird lah" I looked at him sarcastically "What do you want me to do the deck let you believe that I am sincere deck, not just pity. Deck, I love with you I did not ever know how you feel with me tap deck I beg do not biarak I chased guilt " "Brother do not have to prove anything or to feel guilty. I'm good - good aja " "Deck, try to understand the meaning of my heart" take my hand "I knew I had the right deck ngak but can you give me a little space for you to believe?" He sat before me "Udahlah bang, do not be complicated. Brother to pray for me. That was much better " "Honestly deck, if you're wondering how disappointed I was, so I said I was very disappointed akn" "Sorry to bang! I did not want to torture my brother like this. But here I am with my principles bang. Sorry bang, "I looked into his eyes that have been flushed "I do not want to hurt my brother, I do not like this please bang! I'm not strong enough called arrogant girl. Better go of my brother! " "What do you mean the deck?"

"That's the best bang, so my brother does not have to be like this. I do not want my brother hurt more because I "I looked at him. "Bang, do not hurt yourself just because I know you just. There are many girls who would make my brother happy. "Notes I took it and put kegenggamannya. "I go home ya bang? 'I let go of my hand and stepped. "Cecyl!" Salas ran to hug me "I'm sorry for my behavior so you feel more and more burdened, would you share with me?" "Sorry to bang, I'm too easily offended by what is going on" "Let me across the deck!" Without releasing his grip Before in front of the house aunt, my cell phone rang I bring my cell phone to my right ear. He gave me the time and stop cried the Ninja pride. "Yes ma, what's up ma?" Came the reply with vague wording "Speakerkan deck wrote" I immediately pressed the button prompts. "Tomorrow can not I send ya boy" was clearly audible lyrics "Fine ma, no ma pa pa kok" "After Diman you, son?" "Again the same outside ma kawankuu" "Owh yes already then if his money is already there mommy let you know yes dear" "Yes ma" sound tit tut tut "Deck, if you still want ngelak?" "It's really bang pa pa will wait for no money, I first wrote home" "Jeez deck" he smiled

There is no debate that leaves agen tears. Dsebelum moment in pressing the handlebar bike, he took my hand, money is now in hand.

20. "Cecyl, what officers said? 'When calling?" "Still do not know tan. Nobody say what - what was it " "Yes, you've patiently wrote first!" "But rather horrified ya tan? Mas chick memundak a big sack? " "Hehehehehe. That's his job " "Blimey" I said very quietly "That security guard told my aunt, I think you can not stand your work stelah see your style. He said you can not work weight - weight "aunt smiled at me I immediately blacklist the factory as my goal this time, but I do not know what I should expect. While busy aunt said there was about lowaongan either separately washers restaurant or something. Salas began to admire the man silent - silence comes as a hero. "Cecyl how was there?" The voice started a conversation in the air this time "It's obvious bang, we still want to find another bang" "Owh ya deck, Adek want to work in a store or mall or supermarket that? Usually there are a lot of vacancies there ' "Owh not pa pa bang. I want any kind of work is crucial halal "I laughed to myself "Tomorrow brother find ya deck, if you already know so I'll stay put Adek wrote his proposal so could save you?" "No need to bother - bother bang" "Deck" pleaded "Fine bang, bang thank you in advance"

"Same God too huh?" "Yeah bang" "If I may not have to sleep late ya deck" "Cultivated bang 'I laughed and felt a strange Two days passed with no activity means emptiness, I'm just busy with my pen and book, interspersed with the sound of my phone ringing. We explore the city of Medan for the job, we start from west to east. Salas is more confident than I, he could read my hesitation. "Udahlah bang we do not have to make his proposal here" "Why?" "Just do not have to" I pulled her hand 'Why the deck? " "Do not bang" I'm getting nagged "Yes deck, why apparently" "I'm afraid bang" I hugged him and won in his arms. I feel the caress cheer. "Yes, the deck already. You're scared because the girl was scolded by her boss yes " I tried to look at him pleading his apologies menganggukdan have wasted time and effort. He smiled at me. "Yes've not pa pa. Kan we've ngantar two supermarkets and one shop we have a lot of hope " "Thank you" "For God's love" she wiped the tears from my eyes and looked up. My eyes are wide open to hear the word that dangle beautifully for the first time I heard the beautiful words from his lips.

"Why?" "No pa pa" I smiled. My lips have not been able to admit that I have fallen in love with the right man kepad - really strange. I learned a lot from him. But my principles are still firmly attached to the bottom of my heart. "Deck, while menuunggu we cover the news of what if we go to a place of prayer?" "That bang?" "Yeah deck, never heard Velang Kanni? Sunday we get there we wrote prayers " "Far tuh bang?" "Calm down deck, we ride the Ninja" "Owh, yes I" I sat next to her left to look forward, my eyes are busy investigating the activities of people inside. He bowed and folded his hands and prayed. He was very solemn. I'm jealous of his sincerity. My heart is true - beanar melted. I closed eyes and folded hands, I have not been able to say the word - I said, my tears started my prayers. Jesus, thanks for everything. I am stronger today. Thanks for sending him beside of me, he is so great. I can not deny that this feeling is a piece of love. I will let his flow as Thy wish. Jesus, please save us from danger. My both parents are being trapped in debted, I know this is our fault, please teach us to use this chance as well. Let me waork and responsible for my choice and my duty. Thanks Jesus. Amen. I re-open my eyelids. "Let the deck?" "I can bang," "Let's walk around ruamh prayer" I followed his lead, he guided my steps and with a grip in my right hand.

"Deck, many couples come here to pray for those still enduring" he directs his eyes as he looked at me and asked me to come see our hands clasped. "But we are not a couple right bang? 'I stared back as he asserted something wrong. "Yeah deck" just a little smile I hope in releasing the grip, which makes me feel the vibrations in my heart. "Deck, if I repeat the sentence over and over again you can not refuse?" "Oooops" I shut my mouth "Cecyl, I love you" she closed her eyes. I could tell she was undecided waiting for my answer. "Salas! I'm not sure I really - really have the same taste but I do not want my brother only dark part of my story, my brother came as a light in the dark path. I do not want to bang, I also want my brother laugh " "Deck, you're right - right kid literature. I do not understand well dekku, can you abbreviate it? " "Gosh, I should say that this is our time, you and I" "Ok, I know it" fondling in my short hair above my forehead made me feel pampered.

21. Week, was waiting and still waiting to be sure. When this phrase came back to him in telingake "no sacrifice is worth - nothing, dear. Believe! God will not remain silent ". Now I'm a cashier at a supermarket called Self Krakatau (SK). Apparently, I'm not seteguh him. He was always there when I'm alone. He helped me up when I fell. While I'm not a girl as good as her. I tidk could be his best man when he lay helpless on the bed. "Good evening ma'am" I menyalam middle-aged woman who has changed, I am a well-built man mengahampiri "Good evening, sir" I menyalam as a courtesy "Here's what you tell me?" Tersenym friendly and immediately rolled her eyes in the direction of Salas "Yes, ma. He just got home from work Ma, later diwaawancarai " "It's really bu pa pa" All passed from the room, Salas meanatapiku and smile. I knew he was laughing at childhood kanakku. I looked down and shook my legs shake. He is getting laughs staring at me. "Hey, Cecyl! You're going to keep it away from me? "He tried to set his seat on the bed and learns to lean on. "Not so" I am whining spoiled "Come sit next to me! We've long not see you, right? " "Yes" I said simply "How still sick? 'I looked at the needle inserted into his wrist "I've spoiled my goodness lady" "I'm sorry" I looked at him with eyes reddened "Yeah? Why cry right Salasmu already healed "

"I should have been here for .." "Cecyl, does not know how proud I am to have you? I'm glad that we sacrifice one round daily, our heat - panasan not in vain " "Cecyl happens as a selfish girl, right?" "No, come on, we two should be happy - happy tonight. We rarely jumpanya why even cry, let's smile dong " I looked at him with twinkling eyes spoiled. All passed with beautiful, although not looking at each other's eyes. But the fabric of love that we have both clearly visible. Indeed, I have ventured to come out of the circle limiting the kubangu first "No man for dating". I'm not in it anymore but my principle is rooted in the depths of my heart. I still Cecyl girl known arrogant girl. Limit tuition, living H-1. I've been scrambling. Question has been attacked. My dad has been trying but no results. My mom had the sam results with dad. kehilanga they have their good name, they are now known as a liar and owe. My salary is not enough as the Chinese laborers, the weakness is his paycheck. Salas was always asking how this and that, but I always cover it with a beautiful so she does not need worrisome burden. If I claim to be different from the other girls, girls who do not agree with materialist terms. I had to admit that he is different from any other man I've met prnah. He always had a way to melt his hard heart. We were enjoying a chat over the air, I laughed to my wound. Arrived - arrived, 'My Daddy' emblazoned on the screen. Without saying goodbye I pressed the button. "What about my son?" "Well, my money's not enough. I do not know anyone willing to ask for help sam " "What is the word uncle?"

"No they reply. Yes udahlah yah, I'll ask the same friend of mine wrote a letter let me leave college well, let me get together the money first semester " "Is not no other way, kid?" "Yeah, well how else would. I have tolerant " "Son, akn Cecyl yesterday there was a story about your boyfriend's offer" "Well, I do not want to. I pay using what? " "On my father's affairs, which is important to pay tuition tomorrow" "It's going well. I'm female. I do not want to ask - ask " "Not requested but borrow. Do not get too cocky, kid. Keamrin you say he is offered " "But yeah, ..." I paused "Excuse me sir," his voice came through the phone. Silence filled the three-way communication through mobile phones. "Sir, I've said the same yesterday Cecyl, first let the father take care of the problem in the village. This problem can still be solved but he still wrote ngeyel " "Owh, Cecyl indeed stubborn guy" dad added "Sorry sir, I was not supposed to hear the conversation you and I guess Cecyl Cecyl but was nervous and pressing buttons at random" "Yes, already wrote here. We wrote frankly that we were again in the economic problems, so .... " "Mr. Udahlah do not have to continue, let me talk to you later ma Cecyl" "Thank you son"

I was stunned and speechless by what I heard I felt like dijatuhakan of the seventh heaven fell to earth. I was knocked down and terbating in the bowels of the earth. Terselesai problem is one thing that is very valuable for me. When, vanity humble myself. "Cecyl, you bear it? Or indeed have a father who says it's with me? You do not mita but I did offer "I'm speechless "Why Cecyl? What do you mean by all this? ' "I just want tidakk debased, the pain was enough kurasakn considered weak girl ' "Hmmmm" tone it sounded upset and angry "I do not always do you avoid pa pa but when dad and mom you gitukan too? Outrageous you know his name? 'I'm crying I realized my path wrong "Tomorrow, pay for college money. Tell me tomorrow morning. I already told you it's my money and mama also know this for money so what did you doubt? " "I'm afraid, when it will pass and I just smear a white paper that has been guarded" "Cecyl, rest assured you will remain on the road ayng true when you're sure. Do not want to move with a sense of fear as all will fall apart "I was not able to hold the dam in my eyelid "Learn to live. I'll stick with what you love " "I'm sorry" "Do not apologize! Show you're right - completely different. You're not the only girl that could stand on its own but also cares' "Yes" Declared righteous arrogance when, when people humiliate us. Pengertianlah who plays when we had to sort out the concern with sweet promises. There are a few things that implied there was in me, God is not logic, but he's real. There will always be the road when we believe in

what we do. Now I'm sure, I'm going to carve a dream - the dream. I will be flying high through the clouds for a smile melkiskan father and mama in the blue lanagit. All is not always about money, wealth would be undermined by arrogance. Arrogance will defeat you. Love is real when we make the time.