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FADE IN

:

EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT

<BLAM! BLAM!> LASERS blast across the screen as TIMMY runs in
dressed as NEO (in the MATRIX). BEHIND HIM: CROCKER (dressed
like Mr. Smith) chases and fires LASERS!

CROCKER #1
There's no escaping Mr. Turner.

Timmy is trapped against a wall. Suddenly, Crocker splits into
THREE CROCKER AGENTS.

CROCKER #2
There's no escaping Mr. Turner.

CROCKER #3
I already said that.

CROCKER #1
No I said it. And are we gorgeous or
what?
ALL CROCKERS
There's no escaping the world's most
gorgeous army Mr. Turner.

Timmy does a matrix-esque spin into mid air out of the alley as he
avoids the laser blasts. Then - <SNAP!> He lands on the ground in
fast motion. Timmy strikes a super cool karate pose.

TIMMY
I just did. And nobody defeats "TEO"
master of the martial arts!!

IN A MASTER CONTROL ROOM: Timmy's watched on a COMPUTER
screen by COSMO, WANDA and POOF (with HEADSETS).

COSMO
You may always be chosen last at
school for kickball or as a lab partner...

WANDA
...but in your trilogy wishes, you're
always the "Chosen One!!"

BACK ON THE CITY STREET: Snap wide to see Timmy is in front of a
CHINESE TAKE-OUT PLACE. <WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!> CROCKER
Agents land around Timmy, then splint into 6 CROCKER AGENTS!

TIMMY
Hey, you guys look hungry! You want
Sweet and Sour Pork or KUNG POW!!

ALL CROCKERS
No thanks we're allergic to MSG...

Timmy then does an awesome spin kick and a force from his fists
blasts the Crockers out of frame. Then <ZHOOOMP!> 20 MORE
show up and surround Timmy.

CONTROL ROOM: Wanda picks up a PHONE. They see on the
screen that Timmy is surrounded.

WANDA
Timmy, get the ring! Get the ring!

BACK ON TIMMY: A PAY PHONE <RINGS!> Snap zoom into the
phone. Timmy picks it up. The Crocker agents close in.

TIMMY
Yeah, new trilogy wish, this one's not
fun any more.

The Crocker agents stop.

CROCKER #1
What? We're totally fun. 'Cuz fun starts
with "F!"

The Crockers pull out papers graded with "F's!" and throw them at
Timmy but before they hit, Timmy phases away to -

EXT. A SUN-SHINEY PASTORAL HOBBIT FIELD - SAME

Timmy phases into scene dressed like FRODO. WANDA and POOF
pop in as HOBBITS. Cosmo is GOLLUM.

TIMMY
Cool! I'm in Middle Earth!

WANDA
Here ya go, "Chosen One." One ring to
rule them all!

Wanda hands Timmy a TEETHING RING.

TIMMY
This is a teething ring?

WANDA
Oh sorry, Poof's teething.

TIMMY
Yeah, I know.

Timmy holds out his arm. Poof, like a piranha, is chewing on
Timmy up to his forearm. Poof bites the teething ring. Wanda pulls
out another ring.

WANDA
Here you go! One ring to rule...

TIMMY
This is an Onion ring.

Cosmo grabs the ring like Gollum.
COSMO
That's mine! Precious! And delicious!

Wanda searches her pockets.

WANDA
I know I've got that freaky ring
somewhere. Oh - here it is!

She pulls out and hands the GOLDEN RING OF POWER to Timmy.
CUT CLOSE ON THE RING - then RACK FOCUS to see a HUGE
OMINOUS MOUNTAIN in the distance. CUT TO -

A STEEP MOUNTAIN SIDE: Timmy trudges upward through high
winds and rain. Wanda, Cosmo and Poof are beside him.

WANDA (CONT'D)
Only the Chosen One can take this ring
and drop it in the fires of Dark Mount
Gloom!

<CHOMP!> Wanda takes a bite out of the mountain.

TIMMY
What? Are you telling me this mountain
is chocolate?

WANDA
Dark Chocolate. What? Can't I have
some fun on these wishes?

They reach the top of the mountain. Lava bubbles.

COSMO
Timmy, THROW THE RING IN THE LAVA!

<MUSIC SWELLS!> Timmy holds up the whispering glowing ring
and dramatically hurls it into the lava. Plop. The rain and wind
stop! Beat. Beat.

COSMO (CONT'D)
Wow. That was anti-climactic.

TIMMY
How 'bout we have a little bit more
"action" in my next Chosen One Mega
Action Trilogy Wish?
WANDA
You got it!

Wanda waves her wand and <POOF!>

EXT. MEDIEVAL COUNTRY-SIDE - DAY

<WHOOSH!> Poof, like a quidditch snitch, flutters past Timmy (he
still has his teething ring). Timmy (dressed as HARRY POTTER) flies
on a BROOMSTICK. Wanda flies next to him on a BROOM.

TIMMY
Whoo-hooo. I'm Chosen-One-Magic-
Wizard-Boy: Timmy Totter playing
poofer-scoop!

Cosmo comes in on a BROOMSTICK (with a serving platter).

COSMO
Timmy Totter? I prefer Tater Totters!

Cosmo lifts the cover to reveal a pile of TATER TOTS. <WHAM!>
Cosmo crashes into a castle-tower <GAH!>

ON TIMMY: He's about to grab the fluttering Poof. Wanda flies up
beside him and bites the top of her broom off.

WANDA
You gotta try this Pretzel broom-stick.

TIMMY
That does it. I'm not making any more
wishes before breakfast.

<ZAP!> MAGIC BOLTS hit Timmy's broomstick! Timmy's chased by
the EVIL WIZARD VICKY on a FOUR-BROOMSTICK CHAIR!! Vicky
<LAUGHS EVILLY!>

WANDA
Oh no! It's the Ultimate-Bad-Nasty-
Wizard-Moldywart!

CLOSE ON: Vicky.

VICKY
It's not moldy, but it is indeed a wart. A-
HAHAHAHA!
Timmy weaves and dodges through the clouds as Moldywart
creates a GIANT BALL OF ENERGY and aims at Timmy. <POOF!>
Cosmo arrives on Wanda's broom with his tots.

COSMO
Timmy, before you get destroyed, can
you wish up KETCHUP.

JORGEN (O.S.)
Turner! Stop!

Suddenly, JORGEN (dressed as a wizard) surfs in on a
BROOMSTICK. He's in hot pursuit. <ZAP!> Jorgen disintegrates
Moldywart with a blast from his wand.

TIMMY
Cool! Jorgen got rid of Moldywart. And
now I can scoop the poof!

Suddenly, Jorgen <BLASTS> Cosmo. He's gone!

WANDA
Uh, now he got rid of Cosmo! And -
Ahhhh!

<BLAST!> Wanda is gone! Timmy didn't see 'cuz he's in pursuit of
Poof and - <SNATCH!> Timmy catches Poof!

TIMMY
Yes!

Jorgen then blasts a MAGIC BEAM, and Poof is gone!

TIMMY (CONT'D)
Hey, what gives? We're playing a game
here!

Jorgen flies up and stops. He raises his big wand and aims it right
at Timmy. He's very serious.

JORGEN
The fun times are over;
This is not a game;
Remain in the shadows;
Do not speak your name!

TIMMY
Um, you're freaking me out, dude.
Jorgen aims, <KA-ZAAP> hits the target, and knocks Timmy off his
broom!

TIMMY (CONT'D)
AAAAAAAAAGH!

Timmy falls down-down into a swirling abyss and vanishes.

INT. TURNER HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

<PZZZZAP!> Timmy - now dressed normally - falls face down into
his front yard.

TIMMY
OOF! Huh...a trilogy wish with a twist
ending. I'll wish up another sequel after
school: "The Chosen One 4! Jorgen's a
Jerk!"

Timmy gets up and brushes himself off.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
Cosmo? Wanda? Poof?
(Beat: no answer)
Okay, guess I'll meet up with them
later.

Timmy turns and enters his house.

INT. THE TURNER KITCHEN - KITCHEN TABLE - SECONDS LATER

DAD reads the PAPER. Mom cooks. Timmy sits down.

TIMMY
Hey, Dad. Mom, can I get some cereal?
Something crunchy that's bad for me?
Preferably with a toy in the box?

Dad lowers the paper and looks oddly at Timmy.

DAD
Honey? Why is a bucktoothed street
urchin wearing a pink hat calling us
'Mom and Dad' and asking for food?

TIMMY
Um, 'cuz I'm your son?

MOM
But we don't have a son. We decided
against having children so we could
have more money, less responsibility
and weekends free!

DAD
Yeah! Having kids would only tie us
down and prevent us from doing fun
things like going to this weekend's big
M.A.R.F. Festival!

Dad shows Timmy an ad in the paper for the "MIDDLE AGED
ROCK FESTIVAL. THIS WEEKEND IN LAS VEGAS!" There are photos
of Glam Bands rockin' out.

TIMMY
The "Middle Aged Rock Festival?"

Mom and Dad slide together like a rock act on stage.

MOM AND DAD
'Cuz you're never too old to Rock and
Roll! <LEAD GUITAR NOISES!>

They pop into "air guitar" poses then their backs CRACK!

MOM AND DAD (CONT'D)
Ow, my back!!

DAD
Maybe we are too old! TO THE HEATING
PADS!

MOM
Grab a muffin and let yourself out,
street urchin.

Mom and Dad shuffle o.s. Timmy watches them go.

TIMMY
Street Urchin? M.A.R.F Festival? Eh...I've
had weirder mornings.

Timmy grabs A MUFFIN, but it's glowing exactly like the muffin in
"Abra Catastrophe."
TIMMY (CONT'D)
No, not that one.

Timmy shrugs, grabs a DIFFERENT MUFFIN and walks o.s.

EXT. DIMMSDALE ELEMENTARY - LATER - ESTABLISH

Timmy walks into school.

TIMMY
Cosmo? Wanda? Where the heck are
they? Well, if I have to face the
educational system without magic, I
better be prepared.

INT. CROCKER'S CLASS - CONTINUOUS

Timmy enters CLASS wearing a HOCKEY MASK and PADS. He walks
up to CHESTER and AJ.

TIMMY
Hey guys! Where's my seat?

CHESTER
Wow! A new kid who doesn't know
we're not cool!

TIMMY
What are you talking about? I know
you're not cool. And it's me. Hellooo.

Timmy takes off his mask. They don't recognize him.

AJ
I'm AJ the class genius, new kid! You
can have my seat. I'll stand!

TIMMY
Guys, I'm not a...

CROCKER (O.S.)
NEW KID! Don't you know these kids
aren't cool? AJ!

Crocker pulls out a massive megaphone and shouts.
CROCKER (CONT'D)
"F" for standing!

The force blows AJ out of frame. <CRASH!>

CROCKER (CONT'D)
Man, I love megaphones. Okay class,
today's assignment is to think of clever
ways to destroy the New Kid's self
esteem.

TIMMY
But I'm not a new kid. Look, I've even
done the homework you assigned on
the Big Dipper...

Timmy pulls out a PAPER and gives it to Crocker.

CROCKER
Hmm. An over-achieving suck up. I like
it. <INTO BULLHORN> But F!

The force of Crocker's megaphone smacks Timmy into the wall
next to AJ.

CROCKER (CONT'D)
That's how we roll in the fifth grade.
And everyone knows there's no such
thing as the Big Dipper!

TIMMY
The Big Dipper doesn't exist?

AJ
Where'd you move here from?
"Dumbsville?"

All the kids <LAUGH!>

TIMMY
I've lived here my whole life! What's
wrong with you guys?
(to Chester & AJ)
I'm your best friend!
(to Francis)
You beat me up every day!
(to Trixie)
And I've been in love with you since
Kindergarten!

Dead silence. Crocker speaks into the megaphone.

CROCKER
Awkward.

TIMMY
First my parents, now you guys? What's
wrong with everyone? Look at me! I'm
Timmy!

Timmy grabs the megaphone from Crocker and shouts!

TIMMY (CONT'D)
TIMMY TURNER!

Beat. <BLAM!!!> A HUGE METALLIC ROBOT (think Iron
Man/RoboCop) - an ELIMINATOR - bursts through the wall.

ELIMINATOR
Timmy Turner. Eliminate Timmy Turner.

TIMMY
Uh, what the heck is that?

CHESTER
Wow! Another new kid!

The Eliminator begins firing DEADLY LASER BLASTS at Timmy! It
blows a HOLE IN THE WALL!

CHESTER (CONT'D)
...who shoots deadly lasers!

CROCKER
Okay class, new assignment...

He writes the following on the board:

CROCKER (CONT'D)
Run...For...Your...LIFE! AAAGH!

Crocker and the kids panic and run outside through the hole.
<SCREAMING WALLA!> Timmy hides behind a DESK as the
Eliminator comes closer.
TIMMY
Nobody knows who I am, my fairies are
missing, the Big Dipper's gone, and a
huge robot is trying to waste me.

LIFT! The desk is lifted by the huge robot-looking dude.

ELIMINATOR
Eliminate Timmy Turner.

TIMMY
It's official. This is the weirdest morning
ever!

Timmy dashes out a hole in the wall.

OUTSIDE - SAME

AT THE SCHOOL BIKE RACK: Timmy screeches to a stop. He sees a
TRICYCLE, a BMX BIKE, and then a FUTURISTIC HOVER BIKE tied to
the rack. There's a LICENSE PLATE: "AJ".

TIMMY (CONT'D)
Thank you, AJ.

Timmy hops in the hovercraft and exits! <KWASH!> The
Eliminator bursts through a school wall. He spots Timmy.

ELIMINATOR POV: his red target eye zooms into Timmy escaping
away down the road. "Target Located" flashes.

The Eliminator transforms into a FLYING ATTACK VEHICLE and
zooms toward Timmy. Crocker and the kids watch. Beat.

CROCKER
Okay everyone back to class, fix the
wall and write a 1,000,000 word report
on the negative effects of evil robotic
new kids!

<AWWW> the class sulks.

CROCKER (CONT'D)
And I'm off to the MARF Festival, 'cuz
you're never too old to rock and roll!

He strikes an "air guitar" pose. CRACK! He snaps in half.
CROCKER (CONT'D)
Maybe I am too old.

DOWNTOWN - SAME

ON TIMMY: flying the hovercraft. He looks back and sees the
Eliminator catching up.

TIMMY
Ahhh! I gotta find Cosmo and Wanda
and WISH THIS ROBO-DORK AWAY!

Timmy bobs and weaves between buildings and under streetlights
as the Eliminator closes in. Timmy rounds a corner and the
Eliminator follows.

CLOSE ON: THE ELIMINATOR!

ELIMINATOR
Eliminate Timmy Turner.

<WHOOOSH!> It flies past a BILLBOARD advertising: "MARF
FESTIVAL." The sign shows people going to VEGAS. BEAT. PAN
DOWN to see Timmy actually floating in front of the sign - in a
frozen position - pretending to be in the poster. Timmy relaxes and
hovers down o.s. He lands.

TIMMY
That was close. AAAAGH!

Suddenly, a HUGE HAND grabs Timmy and yanks him o.s.

INT. ALLEY - CONTINUOUS

Timmy is thrown down. A HUGE SHADOW falls over him.

TIMMY
Don't eliminate me! I'm not...

JORGEN
TIMMY TURNER!

JORGEN steps out of the shadows.

TIMMY
Jorgen! Man, am I glad to see you! And
to see somebody who knows me!

Jorgen points his wand at Timmy's head then it transforms into a
SCARY GIANT BLASTER.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
And now I'm not so glad.

JORGEN
DUCK!

Timmy ducks as Jorgen fires a laser blast over his head at the
Eliminator who's lowering (on foot jets) in the alley behind Timmy!
<KA-BLAM!> The Eliminator is knocked back into the
wall...CRASH! It struggles to get up.

TIMMY
What is that thing?!

JORGEN
I told you not to say your name, like I
sorta just did. They have really good
hearing!

The Eliminator gets up, and suddenly its mouth morphs into a
super-creepy BLACK HOLE VORTEX that sucks things from the alley
in until they vanish! Garbage cans, loose garbage, a cat....

TIMMY
And a really big mouth!

It begins to suck Timmy in, too!

TIMMY (CONT'D)
Aaagh! Help!

As Timmy is lifted off the ground and pulled towards the vortex,
Jorgen grabs his hand and holds him back, but the pull is strong!
Jorgen holds on to a fire escape.

JORGEN
Hang on!

Jorgen slowly loses his grip on Timmy as the <CREEPY MUSIC>
builds. We PAN OVER to see a RADIO in the alley.

ANNOUNCER
...you're listening to K.R.E.P.: "creepy
music for those creepy alley cliff-
hangers!"

JORGEN
I hate this station!

Jorgen lets go of Timmy in order to turn off the radio.

JORGEN (CONT'D)
Ooops.

TIMMY
Aaagh!

JORGEN
Noooooo!

As Timmy is sucked towards certain doom, we...

FADE OUT.

END ACT 1...

ACT II

EXT. ALLEY - CONTINUOUS

Jorgen holds on to a FIRE ESCAPE. Timmy is flying out of control
toward the Eliminator's vortex mouth!

JORGEN
Timmy! Hang on!

TIMMY
To what?

JORGEN
Good point!

<POOF!> Jorgen's wand becomes a BULLWHIP.

ON THE SPINNING VORTEX: <WHOOSH!> Timmy is sucked in. He's
gone! Then - <WHIP!> The whip enters the vortex and <SNAP!>
Timmy is pulled out of the vortex!

JORGEN (CONT'D)
Now to shut that pie-hole with a man-
hole!

Jorgen rips up A MAN HOLE COVER and throws it at the
Eliminator/Vortex. The man-hole cover is too wide to fit into the
mouth vortex and sends the Eliminator crashing into the alley
wall. The mouth vortex closes.

ELIMINATOR
Destroy Timmy Turner.

JORGEN
Although I sympathize with your
sentiments, I cannot allow that to
happen at this time!

Jorgen poofs up a cool CHOPPER (motor-cycle)! He's on it.

JORGEN (CONT'D)
Hop on my hog and hold me tight!

Timmy just stands there. He's - unsure.

JORGEN (CONT'D)
Okay, that came out wrong - just get on
this motorcycle and brace yourself to
move very quickly!

Timmy hops on the bike. <POOF!> A HELMET pops on his head.
<VROOM!> They take off. The Eliminator transforms into his
"Flying Pursuit Vehicle!"

EXT. TIMMY'S ROOM - SAME

Mom and Dad (dressed like aging rockers) carry SUITCASES to a
GROOVY VAN with "M.A.R.F. MACHINE" signs in the window. Timmy
and Jorgen race by; the Eliminator follows.

TIMMY
Ahhhhh!!!

MOM
There goes that street urchin! Oooh, it
looks like he's having fun.

DAD
But not as much fun as we're gonna
have cruising in the MARF Machine on
our way to the MARF festival! Now to
make sure we have enough "goodies"
to keep this road trip rockin'!

Dad checks the contents of a BAG.

DAD (CONT'D)
Antacids? Check. Antihistamine? Check.
Ibuprofen? Check! And the nasal spray
for my deviated septum.

Dad snorts the spray.

MOM
Let's party!

They both strike "air guitar poses".

MOM AND DAD
Ow! Our backs!

Mr. Crocker walks into scene (dressed similarly) carrying A
BUNDLE ON A STICK over his shoulder.

CROCKER
Hey fellow Marfers. I'm going to the
Middle Aged Rock Festival too! And I
could use a ride.

DAD
Well, gas, glasses or aspirin? Nobody
rides for free!

Crocker pulls out a GAS CAN, some EYE GLASSES and a BOTTLE OF
ASPIRIN.

CROCKER
Let's M.A.R.F!

They all hop into the van. Dad fires it up; they pull out of the
driveway, drive down to the corner and stop at a gas station. Mom
runs out of the van.

MOM
Middle-Aged Bladder! Potty break!
DAD/CROCKER
Right behind you!

EXT. THE STREETS OF DIMMSDALE - SAME

Jorgen weaves through the streets narrowly avoiding CARS. The
Eliminator chases. Jorgen enters a MALL PARKING LOT.

TIMMY
He's gaining on us. Oh, and by the way
- WHO IS HE??

JORGEN
There will be time for explanations
when you are safe!

<BLAST!> The Eliminator's blasts go off around Timmy.

TIMMY
So I take it this is a bad time?

They're headed straight for a DIMMADOME DEPT. STORE WALL.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
Shouldn't you be SLOWING DOWN??

Jorgen hits the gas and <KA-BLAM!> The motorcycle vanishes just
before it hits the wall leaving a trail of flaming skid marks (like in
Back to the Future).

The unlucky Eliminator crashes into the wall. <CRASH!>

INT. DIMMADOME'S DEPT. STORE - SAME

ON A PILE OF SMOLDERING BRICKS: The Eliminator climbs out of
the rubble. PATRONS are a bit shocked. The Eliminator looks at a
CLOTHES RACK, takes a TOUGH LEATHER JACKET and
SUNGLASSES from a mannequin. He walks toward the giant hole in
the wall. A terrified PERFUME GIRL stands. He stops. She sprays.
Then, he grabs a PINK FEATHER BOA off a rack walks out the hole
into a --

PARKING LOT: A VORTEX opens in his mouth and TWO OTHER
ELIMINATORS emerge. They salute the LEAD ELIMINATOR.

LEAD ELIMINATOR
He got away.

ELIMINATOR #1
You smell good.

ELIMINATOR #2
That fragrance captures your essence.

LEAD ELIMINATOR
And we need to capture and eliminate
Timmy Turner.

ELIMINATOR
You should lose the boa though.

LEAD ELIMINATOR
Too much? Right.

He tosses the boa on the ground.

LEAD ELIMINATOR (CONT'D)
Now, get the Chosen One.

The eliminators transform into flying vehicles and <KAZOOM> out
of frame.

EXT. FAIRYWORLD - SECONDS LATER

<KA-BLAM!> Timmy and Jorgen - still on the cycle - land on the
RAINBOW BRIDGE. Jorgen steers the bike into Fairyworld and skids
to a stop. The place is deserted - not one fairy around.

JORGEN
Whew! That was a close one.

Jorgen gets off the bike. Timmy, fed up, grabs Jorgen's wand and
aims it at him.

TIMMY
What's going on? How come you're the
only one that knows me, and where're
Cosmo and Wanda? WHERE'RE ALL THE
FAIRIES? I want answers!

Jorgen holds out his hand and the wand returns to him.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
Darn!

JORGEN
Now hang on to me again. We have a
long road ahead of us. But know one
thing: all the fairies are safe and hidden
where the enemy cannot find them.

EXT. BARSTOW CALIFORNIA - DESERT - CONTINUOUS

ANGLE ON A SIGN: "THE OLD RUNDOWN TRUCK STOP. Giving you
gas since 1973." PUSH IN AND DISSOLVE TO:

INT. THE OLD RUNDOWN TRUCK STOP - SAME

We push through the dingy diner. A few TRUCK DRIVERS eat at the
counter. They eat then spit out their food. We PUSH IN on a
GUMBALL MACHINE.

ON: assorted and colorful GUMBALLS. Suddenly, they all sprout
EYES and CROWNS! They're all fairies! COSMO, WANDA and POOF
are on top of the pile.

WANDA
Ah! Where are we? Last thing I
remember is Jorgen pulling us out of
Timmy's trilogy wish!

COSMO
And the last thing I remember is you
saying "the last thing you remember
was Jorgen pulling us out of Timmy's
trilogy wish!

A little purple gumball's eyes open.

POOF
Poof!

THEN: Cupid pops up on top of the pile.

CUPID
Gasp! We're in a gumball machine!

TOOTH FAIRY
I hope we're sugarless!
COSMO
Every fairy in Fairy World must be in
here!

JUANDISSIMO
I'm more of a fireball than a gumball. At
least we're not at the bottom like Binky.

BINKY (O.S.)
Hi guys.

WANDA
Well, I don't know why Jorgen put us in
here, but we're getting out! (Beat) Oh
no! Our wands are gone!

COSMO
And our hands are gone!

TOOTH FAIRY
But at least we're safe.

Suddenly, a SNOT-NOSED KID walks up to the gum machine.

COSMO
Not safe!

The kid puts a quarter in, and gets: the BINKY/gumball!!

ALL FAIRIES
Oh no! He got Binky!

Binky is heading for the big mouth in the sky.

BINKY
I don't want to be a gumball!

The kid puts the Binky gumball in his mouth and chews.

ALL FAIRIES
Aaagh! The horror!

The kid pulls out a fist full of QUARTERS.

ALL FAIRIES (CONT'D)
Aaagh! The quarters!
INT. FOREST - LATER

Jorgen swings through the Trees like Tarzan. Timmy holds onto his
back for dear life.

JORGEN
Don't let go!

EXT. SNOWY MOUNTAIN - LATER

Jorgen hikes up a Treacherous Peak fighting the wind. Timmy
hangs on for dear life.

EXT. DESERT - LATER

Jorgen trudges through a Blazing Desert. Timmy hangs on for dear
life.

EXT. REST STOP - LATER

On a PORTA POTTY in the wild, <FLUSH!> Timmy and Jorgen exit.
Timmy is still hanging on.

JORGEN
You could have let go that time.

EXT. SWAMP - LATER

We see two HOLLOW REEDS swimming through the water.

EXT. FAIRYWORLD - LATER

ON JORGEN'S MOTORCYCLE: Jorgen and Timmy come lagging into
scene covered in dirt and mud.

TIMMY
We're back here again?? This is where
we started.

JORGEN
You've got to be kidding me.

TIMMY
What are we looking for anyway?
Jorgen shows Timmy an ANCIENT MAP OF FAIRYWORLD.

JORGEN
The "Cave of Destiny". It's where all
your questions will be answered.

TIMMY
You mean like that cave up there?

Timmy points to a Mountain. We see a GLOWING CAVE with a
HUGE SIGN above it: "CAVE OF DESTINY - FREE WI-FI".

JORGEN
I can't believe I missed that.

TIMMY
Hang on tight!

Jorgen hops on Timmy's back and Timmy carries him o.s.

EXT. CAVE OF DESTINY - MOMENTS LATER

The entrance is pitch black. Jorgen <DOUBLE HAND CLAPS!>

INT. CAVE OF DESTINY - CONTINUOUS

TORCHES light up the cave. Timmy looks around: BATS fly above;
SKELETONS lay in the dirt; RATS run on the ground.

TIMMY
The Cave of Destiny is creepy.

JORGEN
Oh, these are just from last year's
Halloween party - I don't remember
much from it - good party.

TIMMY
Okay, where was I, oh yeah - WHAT'S
GOING ON? <VOICE ECHOS!>

JORGEN
Maybe these pretty pictures will help.
Or as we call it on Fairyworld, The Cave
Prophecy.
TIMMY
The cave prophecy?

JORGEN
No. You're not saying it right. Go with
the echo: "The Caaaaaave Prophecy".

<THE WORDS ECHO!> Jorgen holds his wand closer to the wall,
and we see PAINTINGS: crude images of warrior fairies looking buff
and strong.

JORGEN (CONT'D)
In ancient fairy times, a fairy's main job
was to fight, not frolic!

Jorgen holds his wand up to several images on the cave wall
depicting buff fairies being attacked.

JORGEN (CONT'D)
They constantly battled a mysterious
enemy called the Darkness...

Push into a cave drawing of a dark swirling vortex. Then dissolve
to -

EXT. FAIRYWORLD - A LONG, LONG TIME AGO

A scary CGI black vortex hovers in the sky above Fairyworld.
Fairyworld is dark, gloomy, and very unlike the Fairyworld we know
and love. All THE FAIRIES are big and buff as they use their wands
to blast the black hole.

JORGEN (V.O.)
...and it's Agents of Destruction: The
Eliminators.

Dozens of ELIMINATORS - like the one that attacked Timmy - but
more primitive, drop out of the dark cloud and advance on the
Fairies. The Fairy Warriors blast and vaporize them one by one.
Some Eliminators use vortex mouths to suck fairies in!

All the remaining Fairy Warriors fly up into the sky and face off
with the Darkness with their wands raised.

JORGEN (V.0.) (CONT'D)
And they were victorious only when
they combined all of their fairy powers
and neutralized the Darkness with its
natural enemy: light.

All the Fairy Warriors shoot a CONCENTRATED BEAM of light into
the center of the Darkness. It explodes outward in an ENORMOUS
BLAST and the Darkness recoils in terror! It rolls away, clearing the
sky. Sunshine streams through.

EXT. FAIRYWORLD - ANCIENT TIMES

BUFF FAIRIES dance and celebrate with <MUSIC> around bonfires
in the center of town. The FAIRY ELDERS watch.

JORGEN (V.O.)
But our ancient ancestors feared that
this mysterious foe would come back.

JUMP CUT TO: A line of BUFF FAIRY SOLDIERS in formation. They
raise their wands in unison. Then all the soldiers illuminate their
wands and exit like rockets!

JORGEN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
So they sent millions of our strongest
soldiers into the void of space to
illuminate it....

ON THE DARK EMPTY SKY - The fairy soldiers zoom past camera
and disappear into infinity. Suddenly, the sky alights with millions
of twinkling lights - THE STARS!

JORGEN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
...so that, should the Darkness ever
return, we would have a shield of
protection...not unlike today's
underarm deodorants...

RIPPLE TO:

INT. CAVE OF DESTINY - SAME

OFF: a cave drawing of the starry sky above Fairyworld. TIMMY'S
EYES ARE WIDE!

TIMMY
(riveted)
Amazing! Do you have any popcorn?
Jorgen walks to a CONCESSION STAND in the cave and goes
behind the counter to get POPCORN.

JORGEN
Small, medium or large?

TIMMY
Surprise me!

Jorgen gets the popcorn and gives it to Timmy.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
So the stars in space are really fairy
warriors watching out for the Darkness?

JORGEN
Yes - they are our first warning system -
and last night our deepest outpost,
"The Big Dipper Brigade" just
disappeared.

TIMMY
The Big Dipper! That's why Crocker said
it didn't exist!

JORGEN
Yes. I had to wipe away all memory of its
existence so people wouldn't freak out!

TIMMY
So this is great, but how does this
affect me?

JORGEN
I'm not finished...

Jorgen turns toward the wall and <CLAPS> illuminating the
previous drawings, and we see an Eliminator drawing. Then,
ANOTHER CAVE DRAWING lights up and animates, too. The
drawing depicts a GIANT WAND.

JORGEN (CONT'D)
Our ancestors then hid an all powerful
magic wand that could destroy the
Darkness should it ever return. And to
protect the "one wand" from falling into
the wrong hands they decided that only
a "Chosen One" could possess it and
unlock its true powers.

TIMMY
Cool. Where is it?

JORGEN
No one knows. But it's said that this
cryptic message reveals its location. So
far, no one has been able to solve this
ancient riddle.

Jorgen touches A WALL SHAPE and the riddle illuminates.

TIMMY
"The Wand is hidden in a rock and
sealed with a Kiss!" What does that
mean?

JORGEN
You tell me because the "Chosen One"
is YOU, TIMMY TURNER!!!!

<JORGEN'S VOICE ECHOES> down the cave as he points to a CAVE
DRAWING OF A HERO (with a pink hat and large teeth) holding a
large WHITE WAND over his head. On the Hero's shirt is a "T. T."
Timmy spits out his popcorn.

TIMMY
WHAT!?!

JORGEN
Yes! Check it out: pink hat, big teeth, initials T. T.
- And I'm not the only one who knows it!

Jorgen shines a light on some ELIMINATOR FOOTPRINTS.

TIMMY
The Eliminators were here? They know
I'm the "Chosen One"? And you just
said my name out loud!

JORGEN
Oh, crud. And it echoed a bit too, didn't
it?

<KA-BLAM!!!> The Lead Eliminator (wearing a black leather jacket
and sunglasses) bursts through the cave wall.
LEAD ELIMINATOR
Eliminate Timmy Turner!

TIMNY
Man that thing looks terrifying.

JORGEN.
<2 SNIFFS> But they smell great. And
we have them outnumbered.

TWO MORE ELIMINATORS land.

JORGEN
Had. We had them out numbered!

A triple mouth giant vortex opens and begins sucking.

[COMMERCIAL BREAK #1 HERE]

TIMMY
Get us outta here!!!

Jorgen <WHISTLES> and his motorcycle roars into scene. Timmy
and Jorgen hop on and take off out of the cave as the Eliminators
morph into HOVERCRAFTS and follow.

EXT. CAVE - FAIRYWORLD

Jorgen and Timmy speed along the streets of Fairyworld as the
Eliminators follow, shooting lasers as they hover.

JORGEN
You must find the great White Wand
and use it to destroy The Darkness!
That is why the Eliminators want to
stop you! And my job is to protect you
as you solve the riddle that will reveal
its location.

<WHAM!> TWO MORE ELIMINATORS land in front of them!

TIMMY
So start protecting!!!

Jorgen swerves the bike away and heads down another street! The
Eliminators morph into vehicles and follow!
ON TIMMY AND JORGEN - CONTINUOUS

They're out racing the Eliminators on their tail when THREE MORE
ELIMINATORS (8) arrive in front of them!! Their mouths open into
their creepy mini black holes...

JORGEN
Hang on while I poof us out of here!

Jorgen pulls out his wand and holds it above his head - suddenly
<WHA-PANG!!!> It hits a street sign that reads: "WATCH FOR LOW
SIGNS." The wand is ripped from his hands.

JORGEN (CONT'D)
The ironic thing is - I put that sign up!

Jorgen turns down another street. <ZHOOMP! ZHOOOMP!
ZHOOMP!> THREE ELIMINATORS arrive with swirling mouths.

JORGEN (CONT'D)
Hang on!

Jorgen turns and crashes right through the wall of a -

INT. FAIRY-WAREHOUSE - SAME

The fairy motor-cycle crashes into some boxes. Jorgen and Timmy
go flying - then land and roll behind some crates.

WIDER - <PZZZAP!> the Lead Eliminator arrives. Then more and
more arrive (12 TOTAL). They scan the area.

ON TIMMY AND JORGEN: crouched behind boxes, safe for now.

TIMMY
Listen...as the Chosen One, I choose
not to be the Chosen One. I've never
been chosen for anything! Not kick ball!
Not lab partner! Why? Because I'm a
bad choice.

JORGEN
The cave prophecy does not lie. Don't
worry, I have a plan.

TIMMY
Thank goodness.
JORGEN
If it's you they want, it's you they'll get.

TIMMY
I hate that plan.

Jorgen lifts up his pant leg and grabs a MINI-WAND strapped to his
ankle. He waves it and POOF! He's a replica of Timmy!

TIMMY (CONT'D)
Plan's getting better.

JORGEN
Good luck Timmy Turner. You were a
pain in my butt, but...well, that's all I
got. Good luck.

TIMMY
Where are you going?

JORGEN
For you to go on, the Darkness must
believe you have been eliminated.
Remember the wand is hidden in a
rock! Sealed with a Kiss!

WIDER - Jorgen/Timmy steps out from behind the boxes with his
hands up in surrender. The Lead Eliminator opens his mouth,
releasing the black hole which sucks in loose warehouse debris
and Jorgen/Timmy!

JORGEN (CONT'D)
AAAGGHHH!!

<FWOOSH!> Jorgen is gone! The Lead Eliminator sucks in almost
all of the other Eliminators into its vortex.

LEAD ELIMINATOR
Finally, we have the Chosen One.

ELIMINATOR #1
Can we stay - we saw some cool shops
on Main Street.

ELIMINATOR #2
Yeah, no one said you were the boss of
us and...
<SHOOMP!> He sucks them in. Then, the Lead Eliminator
disappears into its own black hole closing the vortex, leaving
nothing. It's calm. Timmy exits from behind the boxes.

TIMMY
Hello? Jorgen?

EXT. FAIRYWORLD MAIN STREET - SECONDS LATER

Timmy is alone in the middle of the street.

TIMMY
Hello? Jorgen? Anybody? I can't stop the
Darkness by myself! How do I find the
wand? How do I get back to Earth?
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO
DOOOOOOOOO????

Timmy looks up at the sky and sees MILLIONS OF STARS.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
Wait a minute. All those stars are fairy
warriors ready to stop the Darkness!
Yahoo! I'm NOT alone!!

<FOOMP!> - every star in the sky vanishes!! Beat.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
AAAAAGH!!!!

CAMERA PULLS BACK SUPER FAR THROUGH SPACE and we finally
see THE DARKNESS: A CHURNING MASS OF BLACK PLASMA, bigger
than anything, heading towards our solar system, swallowing
everything in its path!!!

EXT. M. E. R. F. - DESERT - DAY

It's a serious-looking GOVERNMENT FACILITY with big TELESCOPES
and RADAR DISHES. Like a NASA sign, we see M.E.R.F.: Military
Extraterrestrial Research Facility.

INT. M. E. R. F. - SAME

It's like a NASA control room. A "MEN IN BLACK" TYPE AGENT is at
a desk. The phone rings. He answers.
AGENT #2
Military Extraterrestrial Research
Facility. Uh huh. Yeah. I see.

He calmly hangs up the phone and slams down an alarm -
emergency lights flash. ALARMS BLARE! MIB-like agent #2.

AGENT #1
What's with the MERF alarms?

AGENT #2
It's probably nothing, but it seems that
every star in the sky has completely
vanished.

AGENT #1
Hmm. You're right! It's probably
nothing.

He <SIPS HIS COFFEE>. Beat. Then, he <SPITS IT OUT!>

AGENT #1 (CONT'D)
EVERY STAR IN THE SKY HAS
VANISHED!?

AGENT #2
We should put out an emergency
broadcast letting the population of
Earth know that an alien attack is
imminent?

AGENT #1
Yes. The people have a right to know
what's going on. Or...

INT. VAN - CONTINUOUS

Dad and Mom listen to the radio. We see TREES moving past the
window as Dad and Mom endure a bumpy ride.

RADIO ANNOUNCER
...in other news, the government has
announced that they've turned off the
stars to conserve energy!

DAD
Oooh! I totally believe that! We have
such a great government!

MOM
And they'd never lie to us! Because
deceiving people is wrong!

WIDER: the "bumping" in the car is being caused by Crocker
working on the engine. The van is stopped. The "moving trees" are
actually in POTS and being carried by WORKERS into a nearby
TRUCK past the van window.

CROCKER
Fan belt's fixed! Let's MARF and roll
baby!

Denzel hops in and the van takes off. Then the van stops. They all
run out and separately dash behind trees to pee.

EXT. FAIRYWORLD - CONTINUOUS

PAN DOWN TO TIMMY: he's all alone.

TIMMY
Okay, don't panic, Turner. You're the Chosen One.
All you have to do is get back to Earth, get the
dumb wand, and defeat "The Darkness,"
whatever that is.

<KWOOSH!> The giant spinning black vortex that is the Darkness
arrives over Fairyworld!!

TIMMY (CONT'D)
And that must be it. AHHHHH! How do I
get back to Earth?
(beat - eureka)
Wait! Jorgen's Fairy Cycle!

INT. FAIRY WAREHOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

Timmy hops on the fairy cycle and powers it up. <VROOOM!> A
PORTAL TO EARTH opens up in front of him.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
Awesome! I'll just blast through this
portal and then to Earth! Stand back,
Darkness! 'Cuz here comes the Chosen
One!

Timmy guns the throttle and the bike shoots forward. It throws
Timmy off and goes through the portal without him. The portal
closes. Timmy is all alone again.

EXT. DIMMSDALE CITY LIMITS - CONTINUOUS

Dad, Mom and Crocker are in the van, ready to go.

DAD
Yes! We're finally leaving Dimmsdale. MARF
Festival here we come!

The van takes off; a PORTAL opens, and Jorgen's bike comes
screaming out, smashing into the van!!

DAD/MOM/CROCKER
AAAAAGH!!

The van rolls into a ditch. A TOW TRUCK arrives, automatically
hooks the car and drives it towards Dimmsdale. It passes a sign:
"Welcome to Dimmsdale."

DAD
Does anyone else see the irony here?

MOM
Let's not panic. It's not like we're stuck
all alone in space with no one to help
us while the world is coming to an end.

CROCKER
Ooh, that would suck big toes wouldn't
it?

EXT. FAIRYWORLD - SAME

Timmy is still on the ground as the flames from the bike
extinguish. He looks up, and here comes the Darkness.

TIMMY
Helllllpppp!!!!

END ACT TWO!
ACT THREE

EXT. FAIRYWORLD - CONTINUOUS

The Darkness swirls and is getting closer. Timmy looks up. It's
getting windy and Timmy's getting nervous.

TIMMY
OK, no problem. I'm the Chosen One
and I just gotta find a mystical wand
and stop that big scary thing that's
about to eat Fairyworld and I'M IN
FAIRYWORLD!

The Darkness is getting closer.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
Think Turner. What fairy goes back and
forth to Earth more than anybody?

<OMITTED>

Timmy sees A BILLBOARD of THE TOOTH FAIRY: "OVER TEN
BILLION TEETH SERVED!" It sits atop a GIANT INDUSTRIAL-LIKE
FACTORY.

TIMMY
Bingo. Tooth Fairy Enterprises.

INT. TOOTH FAIRY ENTERPRISES - FACTORY - MOMENTS LATER

Timmy stands in the center of dozens of CONVEYOR BELTS. Each
one loaded with QUARTERS. The quarters stop under a Pneumatic
Tube and are sucked up inside. Then, a CHILD'S TOOTH drops back
down in their place.

TIMMY
Home of the legendary "Quarter
Transporter!" Every time an Earth kid
puts a tooth under their pillow, it comes
here and is replaced by cold hard cash.

Timmy sets the machine for "DIMMSDALE."

TIMMY (CONT'D)
But today I'm making it the "Turner
Returner!"

AT THE RAINBOW BRIDGE: The <WIND ROARS!> The Darkness
touches down and begins swallowing Fairy World. The Fairyworld
sign is the first thing to go <CRUNCH/WHOOSH!>

BACK IN TOOTH FAIRY ENTERPRISES - the ground shakes.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
I hope this works!

Timmy hops on the conveyor belt and gets sucked into one of the
tubes just in time!

Just then, Fairy World is sucked into the Darkness! Gone!

INT. KID'S BEDROOM - NIGHT - SAME TIME

A KID - missing a tooth - is startled awake in his Bed.

KID #1
I wonder what the Toothfairy left!

The kid lifts his pillow and sees Timmy. He <SCREAMS!>

TIMMY
Shhhh. I'm the Chosen One.

KID #1
No, you're a crazy thief who stole my
quarter! Mommy! Quarter Thief!!

EXT. KID'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Timmy dashes away. The Kid yells out the window:

KID #1
My dad's a cop!

Suddenly, a POLICE CAR bursts through the garage door.

TIMMY
Aaaagh!

ON ALLEY WAY - SAME
Timmy ducks into an ALLEY. The cop car drives past.

Timmy turns to see a WANTED POSTER with his face on it pasted
on a BUS STOP CANOPY, "WANTED: QUARTER THIEF."

TIMMY (CONT'D)
That was quick.

Timmy rips the poster down.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
And there's no way I can locate this
wand on my own. I gotta find Cosmo
and Wanda. WHERE ARE YOU COSMO
AND WANDA!?

INT. TRUCK STOP - SAME

ON THE EMPTY GUMBALL MACHINE. PAN OVER to see the kid
sitting at a booth with all the FAIRY GUMBALLS in a pile on a table.
The kid is still <CHEWING> BINKY and <LAUGHING!> All the FAIRY
GUMBALLS watch in horror.

COSMO
He's still chewing Binky!

KID
Eh...this one lost its flavor.

The kid puts the Binky gum wad on the table. <SPLOIK!> But then,
Binky's eyes pop open. He's in shock.

BINKY
(pained) It's horrible in there, and he
recently had nachos!

Fairies <SCREAM> as the kid surveys the gum on the table.

KID
Oooh, a tasty pink gumball!

He goes to pick up Wanda. Poof and Wanda look scared.

COSMO
Wanda! NOOOOOOOO!!!!
Cosmo bounces towards the kid and knocks Wanda from his hand -
the kid tosses Cosmo in. The kid begins to <CHEW!>

WANDA
Cosmo! My hero!

The kid <CHEWS HAPPILY!> Juandissimo rolls next to Wanda.

JUANDISSIMO
Wanda, I feel terrible for your loss.
Wanna go out?

Poof, makes a tough face and rolls into Juandissimo like a cue ball,
knocking him all over the table. <GAH!>

<OMITTED>

WANDA
Nice shot sweetie - and look!

The kid's mouth starts <CHEWING> uncontrollably! Then he blows
a huge GREEN BUBBLE - it's COSMO!

COSMO
Anyone up for a balloon ride to
freedom??!

Cosmo floats down and with his sticky, chewed gum bottom, grabs
Wanda and Poof and floats away!!

WANDA
Cosmo! You saved us!!

COSMO
Hang on to my bubble butt, baby!!

Cosmo, Wanda and Poof float out the window to freedom.

JUANDISSIMO
Quick! Everyone! Into the gross kid's
mouth!

The fairy gumballs jump into the kid's mouth! His face swells up
with gum. He <CHEWS> terrified and falls over.

EXT. DESERT - SKY
Cosmo, Wanda and Poof float along.

WANDA
Float towards Dimmsdale! We have to
make sure Timmy's not in any trouble.

They pass a sign: "Dimmsdale 120 miles." Then the wind picks up
and blows them away from Dimmsdale.

COSMO
And by Dimmsdale, you mean float
wherever the wind takes us - whee!

BACK IN DIMMSDALE - CONTINUOUS

ON TWO COPS: one slaps a Timmy Wanted Poster on a garbage
can. They walk away. Timmy rises from the garbage can.

TIMMY
The Chosen One was alone in the city,
but he knew if he could find his fairies
he could solve the ancient riddle and
locate the-GAH!

A BUS arrives behind him. The doors fly open, slamming Timmy up
against the bus. <GAH!> A TOUR GUIDE gets off with a TOUR
GROUP.

TOUR GUIDE
Okay, follow me to see "The Kiss,"
Shcmodin's most famous sculpture,
here at the Dimmsdale Art Museum!

The door closes, revealing the flattened Timmy.

TIMMY
"The Kiss?" Wait a second...

Timmy's POV: the tour group walks up the steps to THE MUSEUM
(think the Met in NYC). Timmy looks up. He sees a huge banner for
Schmodin's "the Kiss"

TIMMY (CONT'D)
The White Wand is "hidden in the rock
and sealed with a kiss!" I don't need
Cosmo and Wanda, the wand is in that
statue! This looks like a job for the
Chosen One.

<RIPS OFF HIS SHIRT!> We see Timmy's chest. He covers up.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
Ooops, I don't have a Chosen One
costume. (looks up) Cool.

Timmy looks up to see "The Pink Shirt" CLOTHING STORE.

INT. DIMMSDALE ART MUSEUM - LATER

ON "THE KISS" SCULPTURE: It's 10 feet tall.

TOUR GUIDE
Considered priceless, the statue is 500
years old. More than a work of art, it's a
work of magic!

<OMITTED>

A tourist goes to touch it. The TG slaps his hand away. A GREEK
CATAPULT rolls in. Timmy pushes past PATRONS.

TIMMY
What's goin' on? How's trix?

He stops, then pulls the lever, launches a ROCK and pulverizes the
statue.

TOUR GUIDE
SUFFERING STATUES!!!

Timmy runs over to inspect the ruins of the statue.

TIMMY
Don't panic! I'm the Chosen One. I'm
saving your lives.

TOUR GUIDE
You're a statue smasher! SECURITY!

The tour guide pulls an alarm. <ALARMS SOUND!>

TIMMY
Where's the wand? THERE'S NO WAND!
There's no wand. Nothing. SECURITY GUARDS arrive.

SECURITY GUARD #1
Freeze Statue Smasher!

SECURITY GUARD #2
Hey! He's also the Quarter Thief!!

TIMMY
And that's when the Chosen One
decided to RUN...

Timmy takes off running! The Tour Members grab Ancient
Weapons and chase after him!!

TIMMY (CONT'D)
AND GRAB A DISGUISE!

He runs past the MONA LISA painting, rips the face off the painting
and runs out the front door.

EXT. STREETS - SAME

Timmy - with the Mona Lisa face covering his own - is suddenly
surrounded by COP CARS.

COP
Freeze!

The angry mob arrives. Timmy is surrounded.

COP (CONT'D)
And tell us mysterious lady - have you
seen this evil perpetrator?

They give Timmy THE WANTED POSTER of himself which now
reads: "Wanted: Quarter Thief/Statue Smasher."

TIMMY
Um, no. I - uh feel pretty.

COP
Thanks trustworthy citizen with a
renaissance smile. Move out boys!

The cops and the mob leave. Timmy peels off his mask.
TIMMY
No wonder I'm the Chosen One. I'm
gooood.

Timmy throws the wanted poster away and dashes o.s. The poster
lands on the sidewalk. Beat. Suddenly, a large LEATHER BOOT
steps next to it. A METAL HAND picks it up. We see the Lead
Eliminator with two other Eliminators.

LEAD ELIMINATOR
The Chosen One is here. We were
fooled. Find him.

ELIMINATOR #1
And we will. Right after we hit this
sweet pink shirt shop.

The Lead Eliminator turns to them slowly.

ELIMINATOR #2
Oh, you're the only one who gets to
wear cool Earth clothes?

LEAD ELIMINATOR
(beat.) Hurry up.

They bash through the store front. We hear <SCREAMS!>

EXT. TURNER HOUSE - LATER

Timmy runs up to the Turner MAILBOX.

TIMMY
I know Jorgen erased everyone's
memory of Timmy Turner, but let's just
hope he didn't erase....

Timmy pulls the FLAG ON THE MAILBOX. The mailbox tips
backwards, revealing a hole in the ground. A POLE rises.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
...the Timmy Cave!

Timmy jumps onto the pole and slides down. The mailbox tips
back to its original position.
INT. TIMMY CAVE - CONTINUOUS

Timmy slides down into the Timmy cave - a Bat-Cave-like high-
tech sanctum under his house. He lands in a chair - which triggers
a PIZZA SLICE and SODA to rise on a tray next to him. Timmy
grabs the soda, sips and types on a control panel in front of a
huge computer screen.

TIMMY
I knew the Fairy Snacking Tracking
device would pay off someday!

Timmy hits "SEARCH," "LOCATE" and "COSMO AND WANDA" (PINK
AND GREEN BUTTONS). The Computer does its thing and a GRID of
the UNITED STATES comes up. A PINK and GREEN BLIP appears
over NEVADA; the blip moves all over the place.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
Las Vegas? Okay, not a problem
because I have the inviso-cycle!

Timmy hits a button and a trap door opens. We hear a
<MOTORCYCLE> arrive but we can't see it. Timmy tries to feel for
it with his hands. He can't.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
Where is it? Okay, looks like I'm going
with the NORMAL CYCLE!

Timmy presses another button and a sleek, shiny NINJA BIKE
arrives. Timmy hops on.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
Time to Rock and Road! And this time
I'm gonna hang on tight.

He puts on a HELMET, hops on and <REVS> the powerful engine.
The bike takes off up a ramp.

EXT. TURNER HOUSE - SAME

The mailbox rises, and Timmy zooms out - flies in the air and
crashes into a MERF MOBILE

INT. MERF TRUCK - SAME
Crashed, Timmy takes off his helmet.

AGENT #2
Well-well, just the man MERF's looking
for.

ON: Timmy. PRISON BARS slam over his face! PULL WIDE to see
that we're now in - A MERF INTERROGATION ROOM!!

AGENT #1 and AGENT #2 stand across from Timmy.

AGENT #1
You're in a lot of trouble, Mister.
Because according to our records, you
have no records. You don't exist.

AGENT #2
And that's why you're at the Military
Extraterrestrial Research Facility.
M.E.R.F. for short.

AGENT #1
You're an alien from the future sent
back to change the course of history,
aren't you? So what are you after, the
President, an ebola strain, Tom Cruise?

TIMMY
I'm not an alien.

They show SURVEILLANCE PHOTO'S of Timmy being chased earlier
on AJ's hover craft by the Lead Eliminator.

AGENT #1
Well these pictures of you on a hover
craft being chased through Dimmsdale
by a shape shifting man-bot suggest
otherwise.

He shows PICS of Eliminators outside the pink shirt shop.

AGENT #2
And these photos were taken an hour
ago.

TIMMY
Wait. The Eliminators are back??
AGENT #2
If I were you I'd surrender now, and let
us start dissecting you.

TIMMY
I'm not an alien! And, unless I find a
magic wand hidden in a rock and
sealed with a kiss those guys and a
giant star destroying black hole are
going to eat us.

AGENT #2
Do you think this is a joke? Do you think
we're idiots?

Agent #1 pulls out a MEN IN BLACK-like LASER BLASTER and
slams it on the table.

AGENT #1
Well I got news for you. They don't give
high-tech neural stun rays to idiots.

Agent #2 slams some more Hi-tech Weapons down.

AGENT #2
Or laser blasters able to cut concrete
walls five feet thick?

Agent #1 throws down some CAR KEYS.

AGENT #1
And you sure don't get a super spy car
with a trunk full of spy stuff unless you
know what you're doing!

AGENT #2
So we ask again - WHO ARE YOU??

Beat. Timmy grabs the neural stun blaster and fires.

AGENT #1/AGENT #2
Gah!/Goik!

The Agents are motionless. Timmy grabs the laser blaster and
calmly cuts a hole in the thick concrete wall.

TIMMY
I'm the Chosen One.
Timmy jumps out the hole in the wall.

AGENT #1
(paralyzed/teeth clenched)
I hope he doesn't take the car.

<VROOM!> Timmy drives the CAR past the hole in the wall.

INT. SPY CAR - SAME

Timmy drives and punches keys on a keyboard.

TIMMY
Now to find Cosmo and Wanda by
linking this computer to the Timmy
Cave Super Computer.

<DING!> It does! The dashboard shows a digital road map. Pink,
Green and Purple dots light up over Vegas.

TIMMY COMPUTER
Targets located over outskirts of Las
Vegas.

TIMMY
Whoo-hoo! Now to get my fairies and
get away from the Eliminators!

Timmy zooms down the road towards Vegas.

INT. TRUCK STOP - CONTINUOUS

ON A WAITRESS: she places WATER GLASSES next to a booth and
talks to THREE PATRONS obscured by their MENUS.

WAITRESS
What'll it be, fellas?

The menus come down to reveal the Three Eliminators.
Eliminators #1 and #2 are in pink t-shirts.

LEAD ELIMINATOR
Do you have any uranium?

WAITRESS
Uh...no.
ELIMINATOR #2
We'll have the chicken fingers.

The waitress writes it down and leaves.

LEAD ELIMINATOR
You guys look stupid.

ELIMINATOR #2
That's because you're stupid.

LEAD ELIMINATOR
What?

The kid (who ate the gumballs) runs up to the table.

KID
DON'T EAT THE GUMBALLS! They
scream when you chew them! And they
have eyes!! EYES!

The kid runs away. Eliminator #1 and #2 pick up their WATER
GLASSES, open their VORTEX MOUTHS and suck the WATER inside
plus EVERYONE IN THE DINER!

The vortexes stop as the waitress comes out with CHICKEN
FINGERS. She sees the destruction and runs out <SCREAMING>
dropping the chicken fingers on the table.

LEAD ELIMINATOR
Next time use a straw.

ON A TV (hanging on the wall): a newscast comes on. Timmy's
picture appears. The Eliminators see it.

CHET U. BETCHA
This is Chet U. Betcha on the
Convenient News Network! The quarter
thief slash statue smasher is on the
loose and last seen heading towards
Las Vegas. But just like all the stars
being gone from the sky, the
government assures us we have
nothing to worry about.

LEAD ELIMINATOR
Let's go to Las Vegas.
The Eliminators turn into their "Jet Plane" selves and take off.
Then, they come back and grab the chicken.

EXT. BARSTOW CALIFORNIA - DESERT - CONTINUOUS

Timmy drives and checks the tracking device.

TIMMY
According to this, Cosmo and Wanda
are right in front of me! But I don't
see...

<SPLAT!> The Cosmo bubble smacks into the windshield!

TIMMY/COSMO/WANDA
AAAAAAAGH!

The car shoots off the road and spins to a stop. Timmy looks at his
wind-shield. It's Cosmo. Wanda and Poof are stuck to his gummy
butt.

WANDA/COSMO/POOF
Timmy!/Poof!

TIMMY
Cosmo! Wanda! Poof!

Timmy gets out and peels Cosmo off the windshield. Cosmo still
floats - he's not popped.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
I missed you so much! Wait, you're
gumballs?

Chomp! The Poof gumball takes a bite of Timmy's finger.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
And Poof's still teething!
(pulls Poof off.)
Jorgen said he had to protect you, but
this is what he came up with?

WANDA
Protect us - from what?

TIMMY
I'm not sure if this is gonna make sense
but - The Darkness is back.

Beat. Cosmo pops and falls on Timmy's hand.

COSMO/WANDA
THE DARKNESS IS BACK!

TIMMY (CONT'D
And you've got to help me find an
ancient white wand because I'm the
Chosen One.

Beat. Cosmo and Wanda burst out laughing.

WANDA
HAHAHA! Okay, the Darkness I can buy,
but you as the Chosen One?

TIMMY
Hey, so far I've been an awesome
Chosen One.

COSMO
And I suppose you want us to believe
that the Eliminators are chasing you,
too!

TIMMY
Yes, but they can't find me as long as
you don't say my name.

COSMO
Y'mean TIMMY TURNER?

Suddenly, the Eliminators land behind Timmy.

TIMMY
I should have seen that coming.

LEAD ELIMINATOR
Eliminate the Chosen One.

WANDA/COSMO
Okay, we believe you now.

The Eliminator's arms turn into cannons. They blast laser balls at
Timmy. <BLAST!> Timmy jumps behind the spy car.
TIMMY
Ah! But thank goodness you guys are
here! You can stop the Eliminators with
magic!

WANDA
Uh...we don't have our wands.

The Eliminators continue to fire and approach the car.

TIMMY
Ahhh! I can't believe it's all gonna end
while I hide behind a spy car full of cool
weapons and gadgets! Wait a minute...

Timmy looks at the CONTROL on his key chain. Three buttons:
"LOCK. UNLOCK. DESTROY." Timmy pushes "DESTROY" and the car
transforms into a huge PLASMA GUN!

TIMMY (CONT'D)
Yeah, that'll work.

Timmy fires a GOOEY, TAR-LIKE PLASMA at the Eliminators.

LEAD ELIMINATOR
Eliminate the Chosen rnnn...

The plasma sticks to their arms, legs and bodies. They look like
gooey, tar-covered snowmen.

TIMMY
Awesome! And now to help you guys
get back to fairy form.

Timmy takes Cosmo, Wanda and Poof gum and chews them up.

COSMO
How is this helping??

Timmy blows three big BUBBLES, each with a fairy face on them.
Then he "sculpts" tiny, little gummy bodies under the bubbles and
creates gummy versions of the fairies.

TIMMY
There! Back to normal...sorta.

COSMO
I hate being gum. What happens if we
break wind?

Poof does, and A BUBBLE expands on his butt.

COSMO (CONT'D)
Cool! I like being gum!

WANDA
Do not pop that bubble.

Timmy pushes a button on the big plasma gun, and it transforms
into a motorcycle. Timmy hops on the bike. Cosmo, Wanda and
Poof float down and stick to his jacket.

TIMMY
Okay, let's go find that wand!

Timmy revs the engine and <ZOOOM!> The bike takes off without
them. They all fall onto the ground.

WANDA
You stink at riding motorcycles!

Suddenly, the gang is surrounded by 6 M.E.R.F. AGENTS with cool
HOVER-JETS! The Agents climb out, draw amazing MEN IN BLACK-
type weapons and point at Timmy.

COSMO
And now you've got bigger problems.

AGENT #1
Freeze, Quarter Stealing, Statue
Smashing, Spy Car Thief!

Suddenly, the scene begins to <RUMBLE!> Everyone looks to the
sky, and a GIANT BLACK HOLE appears over the desert.

TIMMY
And even bigger problems.

Cosmo <FARTS> this time and gets a bubble butt.

WANDA
Don't pop that either.

FADE OUT.
END ACT III.

ACT FOUR

EXT. NEVADA DESERT ROAD - CONTINUOUS - DUSK

Timmy, Wanda, Cosmo and Poof (Cosmo and Poof have bubble
butts) are surrounded by the M.E.R.F. Agents and their hover
crafts. The Darkness looms in the sky.

AGENT #1
Timmy Turner, we're placing you under
arrest by order of M.E.R.F!

AGENT #2
Not to be confused with M.A.R.F., which
we have tickets to tonight!

AGENT #1
By the way, cool balloon animal
thingies.

TIMMY
Do you guys not see the giant swirling
portal of death? Don't you want to do
something to stop it? Call a General!
Call the President!

AGENT #2
Can't. They're all going to M.A.R.F.. It's
gonna be awesome...

AGENT #1
We're gonna rock out to Crosby, Stills,
Ashes and Neil Not-Young...

AGENT #2
...Backman Turner Overthehill and the
MARFiest band in the world KISS!!

PAN to a BILLBOARD for the "M.A.R.F. FESTIVAL! Featuring KISS!"
GENE holds a WHITE, STAR-SHAPED GUITAR. Timmy's eyes go wide
- we zoom in and snap out for that Hitchcock effect. <WHOOSH!>
IMAGES flash through Timmy's mind: JORGEN telling of the "Cave
Prophecy"...AND THE CAVE DRAWING OF THE "WHITE WAND"...

JORGEN
....find the white wand....

ON THE CAVE PROPHECY: snap close on the word "Kiss."

JORGEN (CONT'D)
...it's hidden in the rock and...

The images stop, and we're back in the present.

TIMMY
....SEALED WITH A KISS! The White
Wand is a guitar at the M.A.R.F. Festival
starring KISS!!

WANDA
We gotta get that guitar, so you can
stop the Darkness!!

All the Agents set their blasters to stun and take aim.

AGENT #2
You're not going anywhere.

AGENT #1
Any last words before you're freeze
blasted and dissected?

TIMMY
Yes, (to wanda) Wanda get ready to pop
the bubbles.

AGENT #2
I don't get your young hip lingo but
ready - aim...

TIMMY AND WANDA
Fire!

They fire! Timmy and Wanda pop Cosmo and Poof's butt bubbles
and shoot into the sky causing all the agents to freeze themselves
in their own crossfire.

Timmy and Wanda float back down holding Cosmo and Poof.
Timmy takes the blasters from the agents.

TIMMY
Like I said before - don't mess with the
Chosen One.
COSMO
Or Captain Bubblepants!

Timmy and the gang jump in a hover jet.

IN THE COCKPIT -

TIMMY
Now to hit auto pilot and get this hunk
of MERF to MARF.

WANDA
Wait! Where's Poof!

TIMMY
Gaahhhh!

Timmy holds up his arm. Poof is <CHEWING> on it.

WANDA
We gotta get that kid a teething ring
after we stop the Darkness.

Timmy presses the AUTO PILOT BUTTON.

ON A HOVER-JET: <WHOOSH!> It's gone!

The flames shoot out, bake, harden the goop, and imprison the
Eliminators. Beat. The goopy shells begin to crumble. <KA-
BLAM!!> The Eliminators break free!!

LEAD ELIMINATOR
Eliminate the Chosen One!

The Eliminators turn into jets and take off!

EXT. SPACE - THE MOON

The Darkness moves closer to Earth and engulfs the Moon.

EXT. VEGAS ROCK HARD ARENA - LATER

A HUGE BILLBOARD READS: "M.A.R.F. FESTIVAL - TONIGHT!!"

The Hover Jet lands right in front of the arena Timmy, Cosmo,
Wanda and Poof jump out and run to the entrance.
An USHER works the turnstile as Timmy and gang run up.

TIMMY
I have to get into this festival. It's a
long story, but I'm the Chosen One.

USHER
No one gets in without a ticket or a
backstage pass.

TIMMY
Oh, really? Okay, here's my backstage
pass.

Timmy pulls out a MERF BLASTER. He sets it to PLASMA BLAST and
fires at the wall - <BLAAAAAAM> and leaves a smouldering hole.
The usher thinks for a beat:

USHER
Enjoy the show.

INT. VEGAS ROCK HARD ARENA - SECONDS LATER

FIRES BLAST on stage as KISS appears.

ANNOUNCER
Give it up for KISS!

Kiss launches into a rocking song. The CROWD <GOES NUTS!>
GENE SIMMONS goes to the mic.

GENE SIMMONS
Are you too old to rock and roll?

CROWD
Nooooo!!!

Everyone in the crowd's back <SNAPS!>

CROWD (CONT'D)
AAAH, OUR BACKS!!

ON THE DOORS: they swing open. Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda and Poof
arrive with a backlit hero glow around them.

ON STAGE: ACE FREHLEY PLAYS THE WHITE WAND GUITAR.
TIMMY
There's the White Wand!

WANDA
BUT HOW ARE YOU GOING TO GET
ONTO THE STAGE TO GET IT?

Timmy looks back into - THE CONCESSION AREA. TIMMY'S POV -
PAN the booths for: "ANTACIDS," "HEAT WRAPS/ICE PACKS" AND
OFFICIAL "M.E.R.F.andise!" (It's spy gear for sale).

TIMMY
Shpingo!

ANGLE ON THE STAGE: Ace Frehley jams. PAN UP....

ON THE CATWALK: Timmy, in a "MISSION IMPOSSIBLE" REPELLING
HARNESS, looks down (note: above them are GIANT AIR VENTS).
The arena shakes.

COSMO
Wow, this place is Rockin'!

TIMMY
Yeah, but it's not because of KISS...

EXT. STADIUM - CONTINUOUS

HIGH ABOVE THE STADIUM: the Darkness breaks through the
clouds! The <WIND IS HOWLING> and the ground is shaking!

<WHOOSH!> The Eliminator Jets zoom toward the Vegas Skyline.
They are close!

INT. CONCERT - CONTINUOUS

Timmy's POV. Down below KISS rocks.

TIMMY
Just grab the other end of the line and
lower me down; I'll snag the white and
you pull me back up!

Timmy clips a WIRE to his vest, jumps off the catwalk and-

ON THE STAGE - CONTINUOUS
KISS rocks out. Timmy lands on the head of Ace Frehley driving
him (but not the guitar) into the stage. Timmy now holds the
guitar/wand.

TIMMY/ACE
Aaagh!/Ooof!

BACK ON THE CATWALK - CONTINUOUS

WANDA
I thought you were holding the line!

COSMO
What line?

ON STAGE - CONTINUOUS

GENE SIMMONS steps to the mic and addresses the crowd...

GENE SIMMONS
Now, let's hear a guitar solo!

Suddenly, A SPOTLIGHT shines down on Timmy (who's like a deer
caught in headlights). The song comes to a sudden stop. The
crowd <REACTS IN SHOCK!>

GENE SIMMONS (CONT'D)
Who the heck is that?

TIMMY
Would you believe I'm the Chosen One.

KISS
THE CHOSEN ONE???!

KISS snaps into warrior poses. The band's instruments transform
into WEAPONS: Gene's BASS becomes a LASER BLASTER; Paul's
GUITAR becomes a BATTLE AXE; and Peter's BASS DRUM becomes
a CANNON! They aim at Timmy.

TIMMY
So you don't believe.

ON THE CATWALK - CONTINUOUS

Cosmo, Wanda and Poof look down.

WANDA AND COSMO
We'll save you, Timmy!

They all jump off the catwalk...but float slowly down.

ON KISS - CONTINUOUS

GENE SIMMONS
We are The Galactic Guardians of the
White Wand!

TIMMY
I thought you were KISS.

PAUL STANLEY
That's our day job. We've protected the
White Wand for centuries.

TIMMY
Centuries? Wow, you guys are older
than you look.

PAUL STANLEY
Why do you think we wear the makeup?

GENE SIMMONS
And we knew that, someday, either an
agent of the Darkness or a Chosen
savior would come to claim it.

COSMO (O.S.)
Almost there, Timmy!

GENE SIMMONS
If you're the Chosen One, you must
prove it - and you might want to hurry.

EXT. EARTH/SPACE - the Darkness begins to engulf Earth.

BACK AT THE CONCERT - CONTINUOUS

TIMMY
Okay, okay! How do I prove it???

GENE SIMMONS
Bequeath to us the chosen harkness,
and this ax is yours to light the
darkness.
TIMMY
What the HECK DOES THAT MEAN?

The fairies finally float down next to Timmy.

COSMO
We made it!

WANDA
Timmy! They can't give you the wand
until you recite the "Chosen One Creed"
or say some ancient code or something.

TIMMY
But I don't know any code. All I know is
I was erased from everyone's
memories; I barely escaped being
destroyed by the "eliminators", figured
out an impossible KISS riddle, got
chased by MERF to get to MARF, only to
have you tell me I need a secret code
which I don't have because I'm plain ol
Timmy Turner!

<VABOOM!> (3) Eliminators bash through the ceiling and land in
the aisle.

TIMMY (CONT'D)
I said my name out loud didn't I?

LEAD ELIMINATOR
Eliminate the Chosen One.

The Lead Eliminator fires a laser blast from his arm that misses
Timmy but destroys an amplifier. They march down the aisle
shoving concert goers out of the way.

GENE SIMMONS
Okay, we believe you - the White Wand
is yours.

He tosses Timmy the WHITE WAND.

TIMMY
Finally! Now what do I do with it?

PAUL STANLEY
You're kidding right?
The Eliminators ARMS transform into COOL WEAPONS and aim
right at Timmy.

LEAD ELIMINATOR
Show's over, Chosen One.

GENE SIMMONS
The show is never over! Time to rock
and roll!

Suddenly KISS leaps between Timmy and the Eliminators. Paul
shoots a MAGIC BEAM from his guitar and shorts out Eliminator
#1. He falls. Eliminator #2 shoots laser blasts at the stage, but
Peter Criss throws two DRUM CYMBALS which cut him in half. He
shorts out. Then the Lead Eliminator's HAND transforms into a
LARGE RING LIKE PLASMA WEAPON with glowing energy balls. He
fires and it disintegrates all of Kiss's weapons.

PAUL STANLEY
Okay, all our weapons are bye-bye.

Timmy rises into frame holding Poof.

TIMMY
Not every weapon. Poof look - a
teething ring!

Poof sees the big ring weapon on the Lead Eliminator. His eyes go
wide, he drools, then zooms to it like a piranha and munches.

LEAD ELIMINATOR
Get it off! Get it off!

Lead Eliminator shakes his arm with such force the ring flies off
and lands on the stage. Poof gnaws happily.

GENE
And now it's time for you to be
"Eliminated."

Gene Simmons blows a FIRE STREAM at the Lead Eliminator and
melts all of them into a METALLIC PUDDLE!

COSMO
That's what I call bad breath!

Suddenly, the puddle re-forms into EVEN MORE ELIMINATORS!
GENE
Okay, note to self: melting Eliminators
makes more Eliminators!

The Eliminator's arms turn into BLASTERS and start firing at our
heroes. They dive behind the large speakers.

TIMMY
You're not very good guardians.

GENE
Well, you're not the greatest Chosen
One either, bub.

CUT TO - The Eliminators are almost at the stage. They are still
blasting.

LEAD ELIMINATOR
Eliminate the Chosen One.

Back on Timmy and the gang.

TIMMY
Well we gotta do something! An army is
not gonna fall from the sky and help us.

JUANDISSIMO (V.O.)
That's what you think, Chosen One!

Everyone looks up to see ALL THE FAIRIES AS GUM BUBBLES
floating down from vents! They all have bubble butts.

COSMO
It's the other fairies! With bubble butts!

Jaundissimo leads the charge.

JUANDISSIMO
Bubble Butt Brigade, ATTACK!!

They pop their butts and zoom toward the Eliminators. <SPLAT!>
The Eliminators are coated with bubble goo. They struggle and
fall. They are stopped.

Timmy and Kiss rise from behind the speaker.

TIMMY
You did it. You stopped the Eliminators!
<RIIIIP!!!> The roof suddenly gets ripped off the stadium!! The
Darkness is here!!! <THE WIND HOWLS!!!>

TIMMY (CONT'D)
But not the Darkness.

A wad of gum rises from the goop in Jaundissimo's form.

JUANDISSIMO
We don't have enough gum to stop
that.

GENE SIMMONS
Light the Darkness Timmy. You're the
Chosen One! This is what you were
chosen for!

TIMMY
But I don't know how to play guitar!

GENE SIMMONS
Don't play it. Feel it.

Peter Criss starts playing a <SLOW DRUM BEAT!>

PAUL STANLEY
Faster tempo! We don't have a lot of
time here!

Peter speeds up! The other guys join in on GUITAR. <THE BEAT
STARTS TO BUILD!> The audience - still paralyzed from back pain -
shakes their arms with the beat.

GUY IN CROWD
Oh great. A song from the "new" album.

PUSH IN ON: Timmy as the music fills his soul. Suddenly, his hand
starts glowing, and he plays a lead.

TIMMY
I...I feel it!

Timmy winds up like Pete Townsend and <BRAKAM!> He plays a
power chord! <BLAM!> MAGICAL GLOWING SOUND WAVES rip up
and out of the stadium into the heart of the Darkness!!

ON THE DARKNESS: it let's out an <ASTRO-SCREAM>, recoils for a
moment then advances again!!
COSMO AND WANDA
Keep rocking Chosen One!!!

Timmy plays an Eddie Van Halen screaming lick up the neck of the
guitar. It's awesome! He ends with a <HIGH PITCHED NOTE> and
illuminates the instrument. The note builds and builds in feed
backed suspense until.....<KAPOW!!!>

It sends another explosive BEAM OF LIGHT out of the top of the
guitar and straight into the center of the black hole that explodes!
The Darkness <SCREECHES>. It's in pain....the mists and clouds
inside form a pained face?

PAUL STANLEY
Oooh, that's gotta hurt.

TIMMY
It feels pain?

GENE
Feels pains; speaks English. Who cares?
One more blast will eliminate the
Darkness!

Timmy aims at the Darkness.

TIMMY
Go away and never come back or I will
blast you. Go. Away.

GENE
You're talking to it? Talking to it doesn't
work!

Suddenly, the Darkness starts spinning the opposite way.

WANDA
It's working!

<WHOOSH!> All Eliminators zoom out of their sticky gum traps
and are sucked into the Darkness.

EXT. SPACE - SAME

<ZHOOOMP!> Eliminators disappear into the Darkness. Then it
reverses direction, retracts and releases the Earth.
The Darkness zooms away from camera and gets smaller in the
distance. As it does, it restores our universe back to its original
self. It spits out the Moon, then Mars, Saturn, etc.

EXT. DEEPER SPACE - SAME

<WHOOSH!> The Darkness spits out Fairyworld! It's back! The
rainbow bridge illuminates and extends all the way to the end as
<BLOOP> the Fairyworld sign reappears!

EXT. DOWNTOWN FAIRYWORLD - SAME

JORGEN (O.S.)
...AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

<WHAM!> From the sky, Jorgen lands face first on the pavement
<OOF!>. He gets up, raises his arms in the air.

JORGEN (CONT'D)
HE DID IT! AND MAN IT WAS DARK IN
THERE!

EXT. VEGAS ROCK HARD ARENA - NIGHT

The dust settles and everyone (Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, Poof, and
KISS) get up. They look into the distant sky to see a small white
light retract into a star burst... then disappear. Some FANS peek up
from their seats.

GUY IN CROWD
Awesome light show.

The night sky is silent and empty. No stars.

COSMO
Is it over?

Suddenly, the sky illuminates with millions of twinkling stars! <KA-
BLING!!!> It's beautiful.

TIMMY
Now, it's over.

Timmy plays a little lick on the white wand guitar.
TIMMY (CONT'D)
So you guys are actually fairy warriors?

PAUL STANLEY
We prefer the term: "Magical Order of
Rocking Fairies".

COSMO
You mean "MORF?"

Mom, Dad and Crocker finally arrive at the stadium.

CROCKER
Hurray, we finally made it to "MARF?"

MOM
But we're too late.

DAD
And it looks like they really blew the lid
off the place too.

CROCKER
Where are the bathrooms?

GENE SIMMONS
(to Timmy) The Darkness is gone, but
you didn't Eliminate it. Why?

TIMMY
Because I'm the Chosen One, not an
Eliminator. And I don't think it's coming
back for a long, long time.

PAUL STANLEY
We should like, party.

EXT. FAIRYWORLD - LATER

KISS plays a rocking song to a festival CROWD OF FESTIVE
FAIRIES. BANNERS celebrate: "Thank you Chosen One!" Timmy is
in a SKYBOX with Jorgen, Wanda and Poof.

WANDA
You did it, Timmy. You found the white
wand and stopped the Darkness.
Poof hugs Timmy.

COSMO
But how did you get your Mom, Dad
and Crocker the best seats at the
concert?

ON FRONT ROW: Mom, Dad, Crocker and the Agents rock out.

JORGEN
'Cuz he's the Chosen One, and I owe
him one. He saved my butt, but I'm
erasing all their memory of Fairyworld
when the show's over.

TIMMY
I like being the Chosen One.

Suddenly, <KA-BLAM!> A lightning bolt hits the stage! When the
smoke clears, we see a MUSCULAR WARRIOR with big teeth
wearing a ripped, pink shirt and a pink bandana. This guy is a total
stud.

WARRIOR
AT LAST! I, TURBO THUNDER, THE
CHOSEN ONE, HAVE COMPLETED MY
TRAINING - AND HAVE ARRIVED TO
OBTAIN THE WHITE WAND -AND TO
LIGHT THE DARKNESS!

He spots the white wand in Timmy's hand.

WARRIOR (CONT'D)
And there it is! From titanium teeth and
pits of wonder, sing White Wand with
Turbo Thunder.

He uses "the force" to pull the wand from Timmy's hand and grab
it for himself.

WARRIOR (CONT'D)
STAND DOWN EVIL SPACE HOLE OF
DESTRUCTION!

He points the wand at the sky. Beat. We hear crickets.

WARRIOR (CONT'D)
Where's the big scary space hole.
There's supposed to be a big scary
space hole. AM I LATE?

Timmy's mouth is wide open in shock. He turns to Jorgen.

TIMMY
Are you telling me, he's the Chosen
One? This whole time, it wasn't me?

JORGEN
What? You saw the cave drawing, too!
Pink hat. Buck teeth. T. T.? I'm not
perfect, okay?

WANDA
It doesn't matter, Timmy! You'll always
be OUR Chosen One.

They all hug. KISS hits a power chord, and Turbo Thunder gets
blown back into a speaker. CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SEE everyone
rocking out to the music of the Chosen One in a saved universe
without the Darkness.

EXT. SPACE - SAME

THE CAMERA ZOOMS through the Stars and stops on a clear image
of the Big Dipper. We see that the stars in the constellation are
actually the stars on the ends of the wands of FAIRY SOLDIERS
who look like Jorgen.

ON A FAIRY SOLDIER - He's buff and tuff like the ancient fairy
warriors. He talks into a radio.

BIG DIPPER #1
This is Big Dipper Brigade. We are clear
in the night sky - no signs of the
Darkness. What is..? OH NO!!!!

PULL BACK at high speed to see that this warrior is the bright pan
handle light of the BIG DIPPER CONSTELLATION.

We see the Big Dipper in its entirety, then suddenly.... <BLINK!>
It's gone! As <DRAMATIC MUSIC ESCALATES>, we...

FADE OUT.
THE END...

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