He put the key in the door and opened it. He scanned the room, then he looked at Brenda.

Her response was all that mattered.

She shook her head. It s too bi g. Hi s hopes fell. You don t li ke i t? She gri nned. I di dn t say that. All hi s tensi on eased. He watched her take off her coat and hang i t on the coatrack. She sai d somethi ng, but he di dn t hear her. He couldn t beli eve what she was weari ng; he noti ced where the zi pper was and knew that i n one qui ck moti on, he could have her out of i t. Domi ni c? He bli nked. Huh?

Books by Dara Girard Kimani Romance

Sparks The Glass Slipper Project Body Chemistry

Kimani Arabesque
Table for Two Gaining Interest Carefree Illusive Flame

DARA GIRARD
i s an award-wi nni ng author of both fi cti on and nonfi cti on books. Her love of wri ti ng started at a young age. After graduati ng from college, she deci ded to wri te full-ti me. She enjoys wri ti ng romance because of the range i t provi des, from comedy to suspense. Her novels are known for thei r sense of humor, i nteresti ng plot twi sts and wi tty di alogue. In addi ti on to wri ti ng novels, Dara enjoys readi ng, pai nti ng and goi ng for long dri ves. Dara loves heari ng from her readers. You can contact her at www.daragi rard.com, or P.O. Box 10345, Si lver Spri ng, Maryland 20914.

Body Chemistry

DARA GIRARD
To those who beli eve i n second chances

Dear Reader, Welcome to the thi rd book i n THE BLACK STOCKINGS SOCIETY seri es. Do you beli eve i n second chances? Brenda Everton does not. When she has to ask her ex-husband, Domi ni c Ayers, for a bi g favor, she s only wi lli ng to have a busi ness relati onshi p. However, Domi ni c has plans of hi s own. He knows that Brenda i s the only woman for hi m and that love can be sweeter the second ti me around. The problem i s convi nci ng Brenda to gi ve hi m another chance. I hope you enjoy Brenda and Domi ni c s story. You can fi nd out more about thi s seri es and learn about my other ti tles on my Web si te, www.daragi rard.com. All the best, Dara Gi rard

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

Contents
Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16

Chapter 1
Dear Dr. Everton: We regret to i nform you that the Nati onal Sci ence Research Board has deci ded not to fund your project. Whi le we found meri t i n what you are

doi ng, we were not convi nced that you have the staff and faci li ti es necessary for the ongoi ng development and sustai nabi li ty of the project beyond the moni es you requested. If you would li ke to appeal thi s deci si on, please go to our Web si te \blockquote>

Brenda Everton calmly put the letter down on her

desk. She had no urge to crumple or throw i t, but accepted i t for what i t was: a rejecti on. She swung around i n her chai r and stared out her offi ce wi ndow. She placed her hands on her arm rest. Damn, she sai d i n a soft whi sper that qui ckly di sappeared i n the empty room. She li stened to the sound of the clock, whi ch seemed to keep ti me wi th the li ght dri zzle of rai n outsi de and the footsteps walki ng past her closed door. A leaf slammed agai nst her wi ndow, i ts yellow color translucent i n the watery autumn sunli ght reveali ng i ts i ntri cate vei ns. In the di stance, she caught a gli mpse of Seattle s majesti c Mount Rai ni er. The wi nd soon swept the leaf away and Brenda removed her gaze from the wi ndow. Damn, she sai d agai n, thi s ti me resi gned, but no louder than before. Her si mple response gave no i ndi cati on that the letter meant the end of three years of research, or the possi bi li ty that she d lose her house. But the prospect of homelessness wasn t somethi ng to make Brenda pani c. She wasn t prone to extreme, uncontrolled emoti ons. She had the cool, logi cal mi nd of a sci enti st a bi ologi st to be exactand she was used to solvi ng problems, or challenges, as she preferred to call them. She would solve thi s one. She had to. Although Brenda di d not li ke the i dea of losi ng her home, the prospect of havi ng to end her project was her number one concern. She hadn t gone through years of schooli ng, taki ng ri sksi ncludi ng mortgagi ng her houseand putti ng her soci al li fe on hold, to have i t end now. No merit? What di d they mean? It was obvi ous they just needed an excuse to reject her. She knew that her research project, developi ng a di seaseresi stant plankton, would revi tali ze a fai li ng fi shi ng i ndustry on the enti re West Coast. Over the past twenty years, from the Paci fi c Northwest up to Alaska, there had been a dramati c drop i n the number of selected fi sh speci es because of polluti on and envi ronmental factors that had practi cally wi ped out thei r key food source. She and her team had worked ti relessly and had fi nally been able to grow a plankton uti li zi ng a revoluti onary technology they had developed. All she needed was two more years of fundi ng, then she would

be able to put i t on the market and i t would pay for i tself and more. Brenda turned back to her desk and stared at the letter, wi shi ng i t would reveal the speci fi c answers she needed. What di d they mean she lacked the staff and faci li ti es? Why di d they thi nk she was applyi ng for the funds i n the fi rst place? She had hi red the best and although they were small i n number, they made up for i t wi th thei r commi tment and research experi ence. Two researchers had graduated from Ivy League schools. Fai lure meant goi ng back to teachi ng agai n, and worst of all, explai ni ng to her mother why she had devoted her li fe to her career i nstead of getti ng remarri ed. It di dn t matter that Brenda had seven brothers, each i n di fferent relati onshi pssome begi nni ng and others endi ngto keep her mother occupi ed. As the only gi rl, her mother worri ed most about her. Brenda glanced at a wall full of degrees. She knew they weren t enough, and nei ther was her posi ti on as pri nci pal i nvesti gator and lead sci enti st on her project, but pleasi ng her mother had never been easy. If Brenda focused on men, her mother wanted her to focus on her career; i f she focused on her career, her mother wanted her to focus on men and ri ght now, her mother wanted a marri age li cense. She d gi ven her that pleasure once before, produci ng a son-i n-law any mother would be proud of but the marri age had been a di saster. Her mother would have to deal wi th the fact that her only daughter never planned to marry agai n. She wanted to make a name for herself. She wanted to make a di fference, leave a legacy. Thi s was her chance and Brenda knew thi s was the project that would succeed, but she needed more money. Brenda had fought hard to make i t i n the predomi nantly male domai n of research bi ologi sts. Growi ng up, she d fought her brothers for recogni ti on i n the household and now she fought a larger establi shment. Someti mes she wondered i f people were agai nst her i deas or her personally. But ri ght now she had no ti me for those thoughts. She needed to put personal doubts and prejudi ces asi de. She needed a soluti on. She needed to talk to someone. Brenda li fted the phone and called her colleague Chuck Lawson. Moments later he entered her offi ce. Brenda di dn t thi nk anythi ng could clash wi th the color whi te, but Chuck s checkered yellow and orange ti e di d a good job. The embroi dered name on hi s jacket looked li ke Chock i nstead of Chuck because

the u was too close, but i t sui ted hi m. He was chock full of energy. Chuck was over si xty but moved li ke a man of forty. You wanted to see me? he sai d, hi s green eyes wi de and hi s hands clasped together as i f anti ci pati ng bad news. He always anti ci pated bad news. If the sky was sunny he found a cloud, i f rai n fell he expected a flood. He was a bri lli ant sci enti st andunfortunatelyhi s predi cti ons were usually ri ght. Brenda li fted the letter and handed i t to hi m. Read thi s. Chuck pulled out hi s readi ng glasses and put them on. Brenda could not help noti ci ng how odd he looked i n the dai nty, deep red, wi re glasses. They were obvi ously a woman s pai r, but he d been so pleased when he d purchased them nei ther she or other members on the team had been able to tell hi m the truth. Chuck s eyes wi dened as he scanned the contents Chuck s eyes wi dened as he scanned the contents of the letter, and hi s breathi ng grew shallow. We re rui ned, he sai d as though the bui ldi ng threatened to collapse on them. Thi s i s a di saster. Brenda mai ntai ned her soft tone. Thi s i s not a di saster. Hi s voi ce rose. Not a di saster? We need that money. We can t go on wi thout i t. Control yourself. He waved the letter, hi s voi ce ri si ng to a shri ek. Do you know what thi s means? Of course I do. He i gnored her. It means we ll have to stop payi ng the researchers. No money for the lab. No money for new equi pment. No money for upkeep of the equi pment we have. No money for Chuck! He bli nked. I know, she sai d wi th an edge of i mpati ence. Si t down. He placed the letter on the table as though i t were a snake, then rubbed hi s hands together. What are we goi ng to do? He began to pace. Do you know the type of people most li kely to di e i n an emergency? He shook hi s head. People who pani c. She gestured to a chai r. Si t down and breathe. He grabbed the chai r, collapsed i nto i t and stared at her as though she were hi s li fe preserver. You have a plan, ri ght? That s why you called me i n here. At that moment Brenda regretted maki ng that

deci si on. Not yet, she sai d wi th reluctance, but determi ned to be honest. He shook hi s head and groaned. Thi s i s awful. He pulled off hi s glasses. It s the end of all of our hard work. He cleaned the lens wi th hi s ti e. Stop sayi ng that. Labeli ng a problem doesn t help you solve i t. Now I need you to relax. Thi s i sn t the end for us. She pushed a box of ti ssues toward hi m. Pull yourself together. I need you to be strong. Chuck grabbed a ti ssue and wi ped hi s forehead. The room wasn t hot but sweat streamed down hi s face, maki ng hi s pi nk cheeks shi ny and dampeni ng the wi sps of si lvery blond hai r that barely covered hi s bald spot. He would have made a comi cal fi gure i f she di dn t care so much about hi m, but ri ght now, hi s worri ed state bothered her. Brenda was aware that he d faced di saster before and i t had nearly rui ned hi m. He d taken another bi g gamble when he deci ded to work wi th her, and she was determi ned to make sure he ended up okay. The two had met several years ago at the uni versi ty when hi s career was plummeti ng from bad partnershi ps and projects, and hers was rapi dly growi ng because of good connecti ons and a famous husband. There were whi spers about Chuck s fai led experi ments, lack of publi shi ng credi ts and i nabi li ty to achi eve tenure. Thei r meeti ng had been an acci dent. She d had an appoi ntment to meet Dr. Landson, one of the most esteemed research sci enti sts at the ti me, but had gone to Chuck s offi ce i nstead. They started talki ng and di scovered they had a lot i n common. At the ti me, Brenda was i n the process of goi ng through a di vorce and desperate to create a new li fe, apart from her husband s, and needed an i ntelli gent and hardworki ng partner. Chuck was a perfect choi ce. She soon di scovered that they worked well together. He kept her from bei ng too seri ous whi le she kept hi m focused. Everythi ng wi ll work out, she sai d gently. He crumpled the ti ssue i n hi s hand. I m not too worri ed about the project. It s you I m worri ed about. You ve put everythi ng i nto thi s. Brenda shrugged, tryi ng to be nonchalant about the magni tude of the problem, although she knew i t was seri ous. I always ri se to the top. Should we tell the team? No, there s no use worryi ng them. We have four months worth of fundi ng left. That should gi ve me enough ti me. She looked at Chuck s worri ed face. I knew thi s was a gamble when I started. But you thought you would wi n.

I haven t lost yet, she sai d worki ng hard to keep any doubt from her expressi on. Chuck opened hi s mouth, then closed i t. He grabbed another ti ssue. Brenda watched hi m wi th growi ng uneasi ness. Chuck was bri lli ant at solvi ng sci enti fi c problems, but he was not a person to call i n a cri si s. Perhaps i t hadn t been a good i dea to let hi m know. She d made a poor judgment. She hadn t wanted to carry the burden alone, but knew she would have to. Over the years she had di scovered that not all men were strong. Her younger brother, Clement, was just li ke Chuck. He was very ki nd, worri ed too much and never stood up for hi mself. Whi ch explai ned why at age twenty-ei ght he was worki ng for a boss who bulli ed hi m. She had to reassure Chuck. Brenda suddenly snapped her fi ngers, as though somethi ng had come to her. I have an i dea, she li ed. Chuck s eyes bri ghtened; he leaned forward, eager. You do? What i s i t? I can t tell you yet. It s just i n the planni ng stages, but I m certai n that i t wi ll solve all of our problems. It wi ll? Hi s voi ce held such hope i t made her want to weep. Yes. I should have thought of i t before. I m sorry I worri ed you for no reason. He si ghed wi th reli ef and threw the ti ssues away. That s okay. I knew you would fi gure out somethi ng. That s all then. Chuck stood, then glanced at the letter. You can throw that thi ng away. We don t need thei r money, ri ght? He looked at her agai n for reassurance. Brenda forced a smi le. Ri ght. He opened the door wi th hi s back strai ght and hi s head held hi gh, then left. Brenda buri ed her head i n her hands. The door opened agai n. Brenda? She li fted her head and saw Chuck smi li ng. Yes? Don t wai t too long to tell me what the i dea i s. I may be able to help, remember I m good wi th grant wri ti ng. Yes, I know. He closed the door. Brenda rested her head back and shut her eyes. For the fi rst ti me i n ten years she wi shed she had a ci garette. She di dn t care i f she d have to stand outsi de i n the dri zzli ng rai n squeezed i nto the desi gnated smoki ng secti on, i n order to fi ll her lungs wi th the hot smoke and ni coti ne hi gh she desperately needed at that moment. Brenda sat up and glanced at her watch. Wi shi ng was i mpracti cal. She couldn t thi nk about smoki ng

now. She needed to thi nk and there was one place where she di d that best: Sam s Coffee House. She began gatheri ng her thi ngs and grabbed her jacket. Suddenly, a young man burst i nto her offi ce. Thank God you re sti ll here, he sai d. I need a bi g favor and I promi se to make i t up to you. I don t know when but i t wi ll be one day, I promi se. Brenda looked at hi m wi th di smay. Kendell Baldwi n was a young professor wi th a habi t of buyi ng expensi ve shoes and cheap jackets. Hi s latest selecti on matched hi s brown ski n but already sported a tear at the elbow. What do you need? Brenda asked as she conti nued to gather her thi ngs. I have ten students I m supposed to tutor at fi ve o clock i n the li brary, but I have a professors meeti ng and then a semi nar. I overbooked agai n. I know I should have followed your advi ce and not carri ed four courses, but I di d, so I have to face i t. Brenda closed her bri efcase. I don t He came around her desk, hi s li ght brown eyes pleadi ng. Brenda could i magi ne hi s female students falli ng for hi m. It s the basi cs. Fi rst year stuff. You won t have to explai n much. Brenda si ghed. Just thi s once, but then you have to learn how to schedule your ti me. I wi ll, thanks. He ki ssed her cheek. Careful, you ll make your wi fe jealous. He laughed. She d never be jealous of you. Ri ght. He looked embarrassed. Wai t, I di dn t mean i t li ke that. I know. It s just that you know, you re umnot li ke other women. Brenda shook her head i n pi ty. Stop di ggi ng your grave and get out of here. He rushed out. She pushed back a strand of her thi ck, dark hai r and adjusted her bun. Hi s words hurt, but they were accurate. She had always worked around men, and thei r wi ves and gi rlfri ends never felt threatened by her. For one thi ng there was her si ze. She topped nearly si x feet and was always consi dered one of the guys, whi ch di dn t bother her. She d fought hard to be seen as a sci enti st and not as a woman. Although at ti mes she felt she had succeeded too well. In her current work envi ronment, she had no one to i mpress so the emoti on qui ckly di ssolved, as di d most sad, i rrati onal emoti ons. She grabbed her thi ngs and left.

At the li brary Brenda regretted sayi ng yes. Only four of the ten students arri ved and of the four, only two grasped the concepts she was tryi ng to teach. The bi ology class was requi red, so most of the students had li ttle i nterest i n really learni ng anythi ng besi des fi ndi ng the easi est way to pass the course, and get an A. Brenda knew she had made a bi g mi stake when she found herself unable to help one student understand the role of recessi ve genes i n the reproducti ve cycle of the bullfrog and found another student, a tall thi n gi rl wi th stri ngy brown hai r, busy texti ng her boyfri end every few mi nutes. The experi ence made her glad she d stopped teachi ng. Lucki ly, one student was attenti ve. Unfortunately, her i nterest di dn t make up for the rest of the group, but her enthusi asm di d make ti me go by and helped Brenda feel that the enti re sessi on wasn t a complete waste of ti me. At last i t was over. The students left wi thout a goodbye or thank you. Brenda di dn t care. The i magi nary ci garette was sti ll calli ng to her. She deci ded she had to get to the coffeehouse as soon as possi ble. It was sti ll rai ni ng and the one worki ng lamppost outsi de the li brary provi ded less than ample li ghti ng agai nst the dark ni ght as she walked toward the coffee shop, whi ch was just across the street. Dr. Everton-Ayers? Brenda froze under the overhang outsi de the li brary. Nobody had called her by her marri ed name i n years. People only knew her as Dr. Everton. She turned and saw a young woman. I m Dr. Everton, yes. Oh. The young woman looked down at a book she was holdi ng. Thi s book says Everton-Ay Yes, Brenda i nterrupted. That was my marri ed name. How may I help you? she sai d, tryi ng to keep any i rri tati on from her tone, but she was i n no mood to chat at that ti me of the ni ght. She only cared about getti ng a cup of coffee and fi ndi ng a way to get addi ti onal fundi ng. The young woman stood i n front of her, blocki ng her path. Brenda recogni zed the book i mmedi ately: Biological Illustrations. The woman awkwardly fli pped through the pages and poi nted to a pen and i nk i llustrati on of a frog. Thi s i s your work, ri ght? Yes, a long ti me ago. She tri ed to mai ntai n a calm composure, not wanti ng to appear too bri ttle, but could feel her pati ence begi n to wane. Get to the point. The young woman then pulled out a small drawi ng pad hi dden under her coat and shyly showed Brenda a

sketch. I just wondered what you thi nk of thi s. Brenda looked at the i llustrati on. It was a crudely drawn sketch of a daffodi l, whi ch she could barely see under the poor li ghti ng. Unexpectedly, an errant rai n drop fell onto the drawi ng and smudged a li ne. It was awful. The proporti ons were all wrong and unless the gi rl was tryi ng for i mpressi oni sm, Brenda knew she should gi ve up the attempt altogether. But at that moment Brenda wasn t i n the mood to cri ti que. If she di d, she knew her words would be harsh. You must have an art i nstructor. Why ask me? Brenda sai d poli tely closi ng the pad, then pushi ng i t back i n the di recti on of the woman. Because I admi re you. Really? she sai d surpri sed and somewhat pleased. Yes. Why? Because you were marri ed to Domi ni c Ayers.

Chapter 2 Brenda wanted to wri ng the woman s neck as she

became more ani mated. I just saw hi m on the Nature channel yesterday and about di ed. He s gorgeous. You are so lucky. You mean were. We re di vorced. The woman looked at Brenda as though she were i nsane. I can t beli eve you let hi m go. How di d you fi nd out about me? Brenda asked sharply. The Internet of course, the woman sai d, as though the answer were obvi ous. Brenda si lently swore. She d fallen for the ploy. The young woman wasn t i nterested i n her opi ni on of her artwork; she just wanted to use them to get close to her, hopi ng to score wi th her ex. Well, you can be lucky too. He s sti ll si ngle and li kes ladi es of all ages. Brenda buttoned the top of her coat and began walki ng, eager to escape the chi lly, damp ai r and rai n-soaked si dewalk. The woman walked besi de her. What i s he li ke? I mean, I know he s gorgeous but he also comes across a li ttle dangerous and wi ld. Is he? Brenda flashed a mali ci ous smi le. He s even more so i n person. Wow. The woman held her sketchbook close to her chest and closed her eyes. Brenda rolled her own, then glanced at her watch. Excuse me. She tucked her leather bri efcase under her arm, opened her umbrella, deli berately poi nti ng i t i n the

woman s di recti on, forci ng her to take several steps backward, and hurri ed across the street fumi ng. Every ti me she thought Domi ni c was out of her li fe he would barge back i n. Why di d he have to be so famous? How could she have known a si mple bi ology graduate would become a respected fi lmmaker, produce awardwi nni ng documentari es, wri te bestselli ng books, start two travel compani es for the layperson i nterested i n sci enti fi c excursi ons and host an i nternati onally known televi si on seri es? How could she have known that the man she d fallen i n love wi th would conti nue to bury her i n the shadow of hi s acclai m? She couldn t escape hi m. She d always be hi s ex, somethi ng she couldn t i gnore or brush asi de, no matter how ti red she was of people usi ng her to try to get close to hi m. Unfortunately, i t was nothi ng new. It had been the same duri ng thei r marri age. If only he d just remarry and get the scent off of her. But that wasn t her problem ri ght now. Ri ght now she needed a strong dri nk. Moments later Brenda sat i n Sam s Coffee House, stari ng down i nto her second cup of coffee. She li ked i t black and strong. Nothi ng fancy. Unfortunately, the coffee hadn t helped her come up wi th any new i deas. She had si x people, i ncludi ng herself, dependi ng on the fundi ng she urgently needed. She d thought of everythi ng: fi ndi ng angel i nvestorsshe d already borrowed from close fami ly and fri ends, venture capi tali sts, seeki ng new grantees, or getti ng a bank loan. Because she wasn t a well-known preemi nent bi ologi st, Brenda knew that none of the sources she thought of would work. Thi s award had been her last opti on. How was she goi ng to come up wi th 1.5 mi lli on dollars i n four months, wi thout robbi ng a bank? Dr. Everton, a bri ght voi ce sai d. Brenda sti fled a moan. Wouldnt anyone leave her alone? She glanced up and saw Sonya Li ng, one of her researchers. For a moment she di dn t recogni ze her out of her lab coat. Hi . Sonya sat i n the booth unaware that Brenda di d not want any company. She was an attracti ve woman i n her mi dtwenti es and extremely gi fted, whi ch i s why she was on Brenda s project. Her black hai r, whi ch sported streaks of red hi ghli ghts, framed her peti te features. I have fabulous news. Bobby, I mean Robert, and I just bought a condo and we ve set the date for our weddi ng. It s goi ng to be i n August. You ll get an i nvi tati on soon. Brenda gathered up the energy to look cheerful. That s fantasti c. She was happy for them. Robert also worked on the project. I m telli ng you now so that you ll make sure your schedule i s free so you can come. You have to be there. Of course I ll come. Brenda took a si p of her coffee,

then opened her bri efcase hopi ng to gi ve the i mpressi on that she was busy and encourage Sonya to leave. Sonya stayed. Oh good. My mother can t wai t to meet you. You re the reason Robert and I can get marri ed. After I was removed from Dr. Frankli n s project I only had a few opti ons unti l you hi red me and I wouldn t have met Robert ei ther. I love worki ng on thi s research. I don t know what I would have done i f I hadn t found thi s job. You re a sai nt. Ri ght now Brenda felt li ke the devi l. She brushed away the prai se. You were hi ghly quali fi ed. I wasn t doi ng you any favors. Yes, you were. I know that there were two other candi dates, who were better quali fi ed, ahead of me. We re all grateful to you. I don t thi nk we tell you that enough but we are and we re thri lled wi th the progress we re maki ng. It s all so exci ti ng. I wouldn t expect less. Sonya jumped up. Can I gi ve you a hug? I m just so Sonya jumped up. Can I gi ve you a hug? I m just so happy I need to hug you. Brenda hesi tated, then nodded. Sure. Sonya rushed over and hugged her. Brenda remai ned seated and poli tely patted her on the back. As Sonya pulled away Brenda could see that she was bli nki ng back tears. Please don t tell me you re pregnant too. No, I m not. I m just really happy. She returned to her seat. You can bri ng a date to the weddi ng i f you want. I ll probably come alone. Sonya shrugged and pulled out a li ttle black book from her purse. Don t you li ke men? Of course I li ke men, Brenda sai d, wonderi ng why she was havi ng thi s ri di culous conversati on wi th a researcher. Sonya scri bbled somethi ng down i n her book. What are you doi ng? Sonya hi d the book on her lap and conti nued to wri te. Just taki ng down some notes. She looked up at Brenda and gri nned. There are so many thi ngs one has to remember when you re getti ng marri ed. She lowered her gaze and started wri ti ng agai n. You were marri ed before, ri ght? Yes. Ever thought of getti ng marri ed agai n? No. Why not? Because my marri age was a di saster and I d prefer not to talk about i t, Brenda sai d when Sonya opened her mouth. Sonya nodded and put her li ttle book away. I understand. Brenda wondered how she could deli cately tell Sonya to Go away. She opened her mouth to do so when Sonya

suddenly gasped. She stared at the Weekly Science Journal, whi ch was lyi ng on the seat next to her. She pi cked i t up and began readi ng. Wi thout any warni ng, she tapped i t, maki ng the paper look as though i t were ready to fly. Can you beli eve thi s? Brenda si lently prayed that i t wasn t more bad news. Beli eve what? Haven t you read the paper? No, not yet. I was just si tti ng here hopi ng for some ti me by myself and It says Dr. Frankli n won the Nati onal Sci ence Research Grant. Brenda felt her body go cold. I see. He s getti ng mi lli ons for hi s project. Mi lli ons. Are you okay? You look a li ttle i ll. I m fi ne. I wouldn t blame you i f you were. The thought of that jerk getti ng all that money makes me i ll too. Oh no, there he i s. Brenda glanced over her shoulder. Yes, there he was tall, proud and handsome, standi ng at the counter, li kely orderi ng an espresso. He always ordered one wi th an almond bi scotti . He was a creature of habi t and one creature Brenda li ked to compare to a parasi te. He knew whom to latch on to, based on what he needed, and would suck them dry unti l he found another host. She d been one of them. Hi s methods had worked and now he was a worldrenowned sci enti st. Sonya s cell phone buzzed. She checked the number, then jumped up. Better go. Bye. Brenda waved and watched her leave. She looked over at Frankli n agai n, desperately wi shi ng she had a ci garette so she could smoke her brai ns out. What was the use of stayi ng healthy when your li fe was goi ng i nto the toi let? She d better leave. Brenda gathered her thi ngs and headed for the exi t. Unfortunately, she reached the door the same ti me Frankli n di d. He gallantly held i t open. Thank you, she sai d, only because she had to. The rai n had stopped but drops sti ll fell from the awni ng. Three large ones splashed her coat. He smi led, a smi le that used to make her knees weak, but now only made her stomach turn. You re welcome, he sai d. Glad the rai n stopped. Oh damn, he wanted to talk. Yes. She stared at hi m. They were the same hei ght, whi ch she loved because he tended to look down on others both fi gurati vely and li terally and never had that chance wi th her. I just bought two bi scotti . That was bei ng dangerously extravagant for hi m. He li ked to keep hi s body fi t and rarely allowed hi mself to i ndulge. She mai ntai ned her bold stare. Great.

I m celebrati ng. Uh-huh. She knew he wanted to be congratulated, but she would make hi m work for i t. You must not have heard. I won the Nati onal Sci ence Research Grant. Yes, I heard, she sai d, soundi ng bored. Some of hi s bravado crumbled as di d hi s smi le. I was chosen out of a total of si xteen hundred appli cants. The competi ti on was extremely sti ff. Only ten grants were awarded. Qui te an accompli shment. Hi s smi le returned. That was all the credi t hi s ego needed. Yes. Brenda moved past hi m. He blocked her. You know I have to staff thi s project. Most of the posi ti ons are fi lled, but I could always fi nd a place for you. She sent hi m a flat, cold look. I have a career. He sni ffed. You have a job supervi si ng that motley crew of rejects for a research project that wi ll li kely never be completed. They are not I know you, Brenda. You try to be li ke the rest of us, but you re not. Everyone knows Dr. Loony Lawson i s one day away from a nervous breakdown. And that Li ng gi rl bounces all over the place as though she were about to burst i nto a cheer. She used to be a cheerleader. She should have stayed one. She doesn t have what i t takes to be a sci enti st. Brenda resi sted the urge to reply. He shook hi s head. Your researchers are the ones I fi red. Not because I m a bad guy, but because I wanted the best. Brenda rai sed her brows and sai d i n a mocki ng tone, Even though they were the i ndi vi duals who helped you get your i ni ti al phase one fundi ng? You don t get to the top carryi ng dead wei ght. You should have stayed wi th me. I could have taught you a few thi ngs. You taught me a lot of thi ngs. I m through learni ng your lessons and I have no regrets. You ll have some soon enough as the years go by and you reali ze you re i n the same place. Thi nk about i t. He turned up hi s coat collar and left. Brenda watched hi s confi dent stri de as he approached hi s expensi ve, but not flashy, car. She hadn t stood a chance as an undergraduate. She d fallen for hi m hard and had thought the world of hi m unti l he plagi ari zed two of her papers. She never let hi m know that she d di scovered the theft.

At the ti me of the di scovery she reali zed i t was too bi g a fi ght for her to wi n. Hi s career was flouri shi ng and hi s name was becomi ng known i n the i ndustry. He knew powerful people. She was merely a college juni or and knew they would have si ded wi th hi m. But one day she d prove hi m wrong. An unethi cal parasi te couldn t flouri sh forever and one day he d be wi thout a host and hi s career would shri vel up and di e. Brenda went home and popped a TV di nner i n the mi crowave, glad that her cravi ng for a ci garette had di mi ni shed. She qui ckly ate, then deci ded to take a ni ce hot shower. The day had been stressful and she sti ll di dn t know what she was goi ng to do. Other than Sam s Coffee House, the shower was another place where she was able to thi nk clearly. Brenda stri pped down, stepped i n the shower, then turned on the hot water. A gush of freezi ng cold water rushed out, hi tti ng her ski n li ke ti ny shards of i ce. Her body trembled as she wai ted for i t to warm up. It di dn t. She qui ckly shut off the faucet and swore as she grabbed her robe off a si de hook. She stomped down i nto the basement, water dri ppi ng everywhere, and checked her water heater. The si ght of i t confi rmed her worse fearsi t was broken. Brenda ki cked i t wi th her bare foot, stubbi ng her bi g toe. She hopped around sweari ng, then gi ngerly set her foot down. Yes, she defi ni tely deserved a ci garette now. She went back upstai rs, changed i nto a pai r of black pants and a whi te T-shi rt, threw on her rai ncoat and drove to the local mi ni market. She approached the counter. I want some ci garettes. She held up a hand. Don t say anythi ng, just gi ve me those. She poi nted to the brand she li ked. Mr. Hopki ns nodded. He wasn t old, but moved as qui ckly as a sloth. Brenda gri pped her hands i nto fi sts, resi sti ng the urge to tell hi m to hurry up. To di vert her attenti on she looked at the small TV he had mounted on a shelf. An anchorwoman came on the screen, And Domi ni c Ayers i s donati ng nearly half a mi lli on dollars to the Alaskan Wi ldli fe Foundati on. We had a chance to speak wi th hi m Brenda turned away so she di dn t have to see her ex and began hummi ng to block out hi s voi ce. Mr. Hopki ns placed the carton i n front of her and rang up the pri ce. That Dr. Ayers may look i nti mi dati ng, but he i s a good man. Brenda handed hi m the money. Always helpi ng people and doi ng good thi ngs. Brenda held out her hand for the change. Mr. Hopki ns conti nued to count each coi n. I remember when he fi rst came on TV. My daughters di dn t care much about sci ence unti l hi s show. You know the one, The Science Is Fun program that was featured on Saturday

morni ngs. My ki ds learned a lot. Now they re getti ng strai ght A s i n sci ence. He fi ni shed putti ng the last penny i n her hand. Brenda thanked hi m, took the change and left. She drove home knowi ng exactly what she would dosi t on her pati o and smoke. Although her ci garettes called to her whi le she was dri vi ng, she resi sted li ghti ng up because she di dn t want to smell up her car. The li ngeri ng odor of ci garette smoke was one of the reasons why she d stopped. Brenda parked her car and rushed i nsi de. She threw her coat on the couch, then went to her pati o, ri ppi ng the carton open as she stepped out i n the sti ll ni ght. She could feel her tensi on ease as she sni ffed the box. Heaven was just a match away. A match. She paused. She d forgotten to buy matches. She checked her ki tchen drawers hopi ng for a mi raclenothi ng. Then she looked at the stove. That would have to do. She reached to turn i t on when the phone rang. Brenda She reached to turn i t on when the phone rang. Brenda hesi tated, then answered. Hello? I di dn t wi n the award, Madeli ne sai d. Brenda i magi ned her fri end loungi ng i n her lavi shly furni shed li vi ng room. That s okay. There wi ll be others. Not as many as you d thi nk. Brenda frowned. It wasn t li ke Madeli ne to sound depressed. You can try agai n next year. I saw that Fi nk won the NSR grant. Brenda laughed rememberi ng thei r ni ckname for Frankli n. Yes. And Domi ni c i s donati ng to Yes, yes, Brenda i nterrupted. She di dn t need yet another remi nder of what her ex-husband was up to. Remember how we all started out basi cally the same and look at us now. Brenda di dn t li ke the di recti on the conversati on was goi ng. We re all successful. Some more than most, Madeli ne sai d wi thout i nterest. Someti mes I wonder i f I ve made a mi stake wi th my li fe. Not at all. You are a well respected sci enti st, you re publi shed and But i s that enough? Brenda rested agai nst the counter. Madeli ne, i s somethi ng wrong? No, I was just calli ng to see how you were doi ng wi th the news about Frankli n. Brenda di dn t beli eve her. I really am sorry about you not getti ng that award. I di dn t get one ei ther. So we re both fi ni shed, Madeli ne sai d gravely. So we re both fi ni shed, Madeli ne sai d gravely. No, we ll thi nk of somethi ng. Would you li ke to go out for di nner tomorrow eveni ng?

Sure. Brenda si ghed, reli eved that Madeli ne sounded more upbeat. Madeli ne was more than her best fri end, she was her mentor. She was a very attracti ve woman, wi th a dark cocoa complexi on, i mpeccably styled shoulder-length hai r and a fantasti c fi gure. Food and fri endsthat s all she needed, Brenda thought. And Brenda could use the company. They could talk about thei r projects, complai n about Frankli n, laugh, have a few dri nks and then everythi ng would be fi ne. Great. I ll call you then. Ri ght. Brenda hung up, then stared at the framed photo taken years ago when Madeli ne won the Internati onal Academy of Natural Sci ence Award. She was only a couple years older than Brenda, but was everythi ng Brenda aspi red to be devoted, dedi cated and dri ven. Brenda hoped that one day she would accompli sh half of what Madeli ne had done. Madeli ne had been a prodi gy, completi ng her undergraduate degree i n two and half years, and her doctorate i n three years. She was a beauti ful woman, who hadn t let romance or marri age deter her from her professi onal aspi rati ons. Brenda smi led, feeli ng a li ttle better and put the ci garette away. She looked forward to tomorrow; i t would make up for today. You need a new water heater, her nei ghbor Li ncoln Darnell sai d as he came up from the basement the next day. She d called hi m ri ght after work hopi ng for better news. You can t fi x i t? Nope. He folded hi s arms, coveri ng the Seattle Seahawks sweatshi rt he li ked to wear. She cri nged. It s goi ng to be expensi ve, i sn t i t? Yes, I m afrai d so, but i f you want hot water Brenda groaned as she walked wi th hi m outsi de. Yes, I ll get back to you. Thanks for stoppi ng by. No problem. My son got a B on hi s sci ence project thanks to you. He s fun to work wi th. Li ncoln nodded, waved goodbye and left. Brenda checked her mai lbox, then went back i nsi de. She dropped the large bundle on the table, then di aled Madeli ne s number. She hadn t been able to reach her all day and couldn t reach her now. She hung up the phone, pushi ng away her concern. Madeli ne probably had a busy day. She always got back to her; she di dn t need to pester her wi th messages. Brenda grabbed her mai l and sat down at her desk to sort through i t. Junk, junk, junk. As each i tem left her hand i t fell i nto the wastebasket besi de her. Then one pi ece caught her attenti on. She opened i t. It was a handwri tten note, on

expensi ve parchment paper, li ned wi th fi nely woven lace i n a gold-li ned envelope. It was addressed to Brenda Katheri ne Everton. Perhaps i t was Sonya s weddi ng i nvi tati on, although Sonya had no way of knowi ng her full name. She shrugged, then she began to read i t, curi ous. You have been personally selected to joi n The Black Stocki ngs Soci ety, an eli te, members-only club that wi ll change your li fe and help you fi nd the man of your dreams. Guaranteed. Brenda frowned, fli ppi ng the i nvi tati on over, confused. What was i t? She conti nued readi ng. Dumped? Bored? Ti red of Bei ng Si ngle? Ready to li ve dangerously? Then thi s i s the club for you. Guaranteed Results! Submi t your appli cati on today. Nonsense. She noti ced the nomi nal fee and speci fi c i nstructi ons that she had to submi t the appli cati on wi thi n seven days or she d lose the opportuni ty of a li feti me. Ri di culous. She di dn t need thi s ki nd of di stracti on. Someone probably sent i t to her as a joke. She had enough to thi nk about and di dn t need any pressure to joi n some stupi d soci ety. She tossed the i nvi tati on i n the wastebasket along wi th all the other junk. Brenda ended up eati ng another TV di nner that eveni ng. Madeli ne never returned her call. It di dn t bother her, she fi gured Madeli ne had forgotten. It wasn t unli ke her fri end to forget appoi ntments, especi ally i f she was tryi ng to solve a problem or was busy wi th a project. That ni ght Brenda went to bed thi nki ng of one thi ng: how to solve her cash flow cri si s. She woke up to a male s voi ce i n her bedroom. It was low, smooth li ke melted butter on warm bi scui ts, beauti ful and fami li ar, wi th an amusi ng Canadi an accent. Domi ni c. Her eyes flew open. Her gaze darted around the room, then she reali zed she was alone, but the voi ce was sti ll there. She turned to the radi o. Hi s voi ce came toward her as though he were besi de her. He was bei ng i ntervi ewed on one of the early morni ng radi o shows she loved to li sten to. Brenda slammed the alarm off. It had been a long ti me si nce she had woken up to hi s voi ce and she di dn t need to be remi nded of how ni ce i t was to hear. She spent that morni ng boi li ng several pots of water, to wash her face and hai r, whi ch was i n desperate need of a good shampoo. She deci ded to ski p blow dryi ng and put her hai r i n two large brai ds i nstead. It was the weekend and she di dn t have to worry about anyone i mportant seei ng her, not that she was ever i nterested i n maki ng a fashi on statement. Brenda went outsi de and retri eved her morni ng paper,

before havi ng her morni ng coffee and a large banana nut muffi n. She only recei ved the dai ly newspaper on weekends, because she was usually too busy to read i t duri ng the week. She sat down at her ki tchen table and opened the paper. She nearly choked when she saw the headli ne: Renowned scientist Dr. Madeline Cartwright found dead from apparent suicide. Rai n wasn t unusual i n Seattle, so no one let i t bother them as they stood around the grave si te under a canopy, tryi ng not to get wet. Brenda looked around and was surpri sed by the small crowd. Madeli ne had known so many people. Had her li fe di mi ni shed to thi s? All the faces were a blur. Brenda usually pai d attenti on to detai l but thi s ti me she couldn t. The coffi n loomed large i n her mi nd. Thi s couldn t be real. Madeli ne was only forty-two. She had so much more to do. Why had i t ended thi s way? Brenda wondered i f she should have gone over to Madeli ne s house the last ti me they spoke. Was she reachi ng out; di d Brenda not hear her cry? She had thought she was her fri end. Why hadn t she called her? Damn, damn, damn. The bri ef grave si te servi ce came to a close. One moment the coffi n was there, then i t was i n the ground. All Brenda remembered was the sound of di rt hi tti ng the coffi n. Madeli ne was gone. Brenda walked slowly back to her car. She paused when she saw a tall, stri ki ng dark fi gure ahead. It was Domi ni c. She jumped i nto her car i n case he turned around and saw her. She needn t have worri ed; he was busy consoli ng Madeli ne s mother who had cri ed uncontrollably throughout. What was he doi ng here? Shouldn t he be traveli ng or on some radi o show? How could he have remembered Madeli ne? Brenda started her car and drove to Madeli ne s parents house to express her condolence. Once there she was surpri sed to fi nd a larger group gathered. She overheard several i ndi vi duals say that they couldn t bear seei ng Madeli ne i n a coffi n or watchi ng her bei ng lowered i nto the ground and had deci ded not to go to the vi ewi ng or grave si te. Brenda spoke to several of Madeli ne s busi ness fri ends, then approached her si ster, Dana. I m so sorry. I can hardly beli eve that i t s real. I di dn t sense anythi ng, Dana sai d, her face reflecti ng the shock and pai n she felt. Brenda nodded, feeli ng her wave of gui lt resurfaci ng. She shouldn t have wai ted for the next day. She should have gone over to see her. Perhaps she could have She wanted you to have thi s. Dana handed Brenda a small whi te envelope. She put i t i n her handbag, stuffi ng i t i n-between her carton of ci garettes and wallet. Suddenly, she heard hi s voi ce and footsteps. Domi ni c rarely entered

a room qui etly and once i nsi de one couldn t help but stare at hi m. He was as magni fi cent as a mountai n and just as majesti c, but hi s movements were not refi ned and people easi ly made the assumpti on that he came from the backwoods of Canada i nstead of one i ts presti gi ous ci ti es. Brenda knew i t was all an act that he used to mi slead people to gi ve hi mself the advantage. When he wanted to, he could move wi th the noi seless steps of a fox hunti ng i ts prey or act as cultured as a pri nce. Hi s bi ography sai d he d i mmi grated to Ameri ca at fi fteen. The truth was that he d run away to li ve wi th an aunt. Brenda knew she had to di sappear before he saw her. She couldn t handle talki ng to hi m now. When they had been together they were ei ther fi ghti ng or maki ng love. He was the one person who could make her lose her cool. She couldn t afford to, not here. Brenda darted i nto the next room where the buffet table stood. She li fted a plate, knowi ng she couldn t eat anythi ng, but needi ng somethi ng to do. She set the plate down when she heard fami li ar footsteps come closer. She si lently swore. Of course he d head to the buffet table. The man could eat i t clean, although hi s muscular physi que gave no i ndi cati on of that. There wasn t an i nch of fat on hi m; he was as soli d as marble. She di sappeared behi nd a large palm and watched Domi ni c and Frankli n enter. Nei ther man appeared to noti ce the other. Frankli n s presence di dn t surpri se her. He would want to be there to console Madeli ne s fami ly i n case there were photographers. She lost si ght of Domi ni c but saw Frankli n talki ng to Madeli ne s mother and father. At that moment, she wi shed Madeli ne was there so the two of them could laugh at hi m. He was always a comi cal character to watch, because he thought he was more i mportant than he was, and i t showed. Are you hi di ng from me? a deep voi ce sai d behi nd her.

Chapter 3 Brenda froze, hopi ng that when she turned i t wouldn t be

who she thought. She slowly spun around and looked up. Domi ni c was one of the few men she had to look up to. He topped si x-four and was the one man who di dn t make her feel anythi ng less than a woman. When she was wi th hi m all of her femi ni ne i nsti ncts became alert. From thei r fi rst meeti ng she d responded to hi s sheer male energy. It wasn t just that he was large, but that he was stronger than her, and hi s pi erci ng eyes, every bi t the sci enti st scalculati ng and assessi ngmay have i nti mi dated another woman, but always made her ski n ti ngle wi th anti ci pati on. Wi th hi s smooth brown ski n, shaved

head and black goatee, all he needed was a black eye patch and a dark cape to look li ke an avengi ng outlaw, ready to reli eve you of anythi ng you treasured. He had the charm of a rogue, the eyes of a seducer and a smi le that could persuade a woman to say yes when she meant the opposi te. He had an i rresi sti ble magneti sm. Brenda shook away the sensati on annoyed wi th herself. It was these ki nd of thoughts and unchecked feeli ngs that had gotten her i n trouble i n the fi rst place. Yes, he was bi g and strong and bri lli ant and sexy, but he was just a man and she knew how to handle men. Why would I want to do that? she asked. He li fted a brow. Exactly. I di dn t expect you to be here. He shoved hi s hands i n hi s pockets, looki ng sad. She knew he was. He was never i nsi ncere. God, I wi sh I wasn t. I can t beli eve thi s. Me nei ther. I respected her. More than that, I li ked her. She was a great woman and a bri lli ant sci enti st. Brenda nodded, grateful for the neutral topi c. Yes, i t s such a waste. All of the i deas she had, all the thi ngs she could have accompli shed. All the thi ngs she could have experi enced. What? You re just thi nki ng of her as a sci enti st. Unfortunately, I thi nk that s the only way she saw herself too. As her mother told me, losi ng the award devastated her. You can t confuse your professi on wi th who you are. Is that a lecture, Dr. Ayers? Don t worry, we di dn t consi der ourselves asexual robots. The day she di ed we had planned to go out for di nner and complai n about men. Brenda tri ed to make li ght of i t, but hi s assessi ng gaze di dn t waver. She si ghed; getti ng hi m off a topi c had always been di ffi cult. Domi ni c took her hand. The shock of hi s large, warm fi ngers encasi ng hers nearly paralyzed her. Honey, I m sorry. Her voi ce shook. Domi ni c, i f you want me to burst i nto tears you ll succeed i f you look at me li ke that any longer. I just want you to know that I m here for you. Brenda tri ed to tug her hand free. Yes, I know. How are you holdi ng up? I m fi ne. He ti ghtened hi s gri p, not enough to hurt her, but enough to stop her from struggli ng. If you ever need to talk about thi s, call me. I m fi ne really. Thanks. Madeli ne s mother approached them. It s so good for you both to come together. Madeli ne had always hoped you two would reconci le.

Brenda wi dened her eyes, surpri sed. But we re not Domi ni c rested hi s arm on her shoulders. I m amazed at how gri ef can bri ng people together. I d always hoped that she would learn from you, Brenda, and have somethi ng else i n her li fe besi des work, Madeli ne s mother sai d, her eyes red and swollen wi th gri ef. But her work was revoluti onary, Brenda sai d, not wanti ng her fri end s li fework to be lost i n the sadness of her passi ng. And i t ki lled her, her mother repli ed bi tterly then turned and walked away. She s wrong, Brenda sai d annoyed. Her work di dn t ki ll her, she just Brenda shook her head, not able to come up wi th a good explanati on. She glanced at hi s arm on her shoulders and tri ed to shrug i t way. When she couldn t she sai d, What i s thi s for? The thought of us together made her happy. Why tell her the truth now? She s already sufferi ng enough. He placed hi s hand on the back of her neck and began gently rubbi ng i t. What are you doi ng? she sai d through clenched teeth, tryi ng not to enjoy the sensati on. You know what I m doi ng. You re tense. Brenda moved away. I m not that tense. She looked and saw a woman stari ng at them. The woman s gorgeous features and fi ne dress looked out of place, li ke a crystal glass among ti n cans. When she saw Brenda she offered a tentati ve smi le. Is she wi th you? Domi ni c glanced back, made a qui ck moti on wi th hi s hand, to whi ch the young lady nodded, then walked away. She s not my gi rlfri end. That wasn t my questi on. No, but I wanted you to know that. I won t even ask why because the reason wouldn t matter. She took a step back. I guess I ll leave now. Domi ni c took her elbow and forcefully, yet gently, led her to a nearby couch. He sat and pulled her down besi de hi m. She works for me and she s seei ng Thomas. Your cousi n? Yes, he s my manager now. I m not surpri sed. You two were always close. Domi ni c glanced around. He s here somewhere. We re worki ng on developi ng a new project. Whi ch I m sure wi ll be very successful. I m surpri sed you made the ti me to come here, Brenda sai d, unable to stop her sarcasm. I ve learned to make ti me for thi ngs that are i mportant to me. Congratulati ons. Is that all? he sai d wi th surpri se. I should get a royal

pardon at least. She frowned. What does that mean? The Queen i s wi thout fault. Everythi ng was my doi ng. I caused our di vorce. I never sai d that. You di dn t have to. Look, I blame myself too, many ti mes, but i t s over, so i t doesn t matter anymore. She stood. Goodbye. He stood too. Brenda. She rested a fi rm hand on hi s chest and glanced around, embarrassed. Lower your voi ce. I wasn t shouti ng. You don t thi nk you re shouti ng, but your voi ce could be heard i n the Everglades. He lowered i t. I m sorry. He glanced down at her hand and a slow smi le spread on hi s face. She snatched her hand away. Let s not argue, Brenda sai d, determi ned to keep her composure. I know i t s somethi ng we do well, but let s not do i t here. He leaned forward, a devi li sh twi nkle i n hi s eyes. There s somethi ng else we do well. Brenda s gaze fell and heat stole i nto her cheeks as the memory of thei r lovemaki ng rushed back to her as though he d stri pped her bare. But she wouldn t let hi m unnerve her. She boldly stared back. I know, but we re not goi ng to do i t here ei ther. Brenda qui ckly turned away and marched to the foyer. She swung open the closet door and franti cally searched for her coat. She di dn t have much ti me to look before Domi ni c spun her around. Hi s eyes, dark li ke mi dni ght, pi erced hers. Brenda, we need to talk. The scent of hi s cologne embraced her, the same cologne that used to cli ng to thei r sheets at ni ght and hi s bath towel i n the morni ng. Hi s hands fi rmly held her shoulders, hands that used to hold her close when they danced and that caressed her body when they made love. A sense of the magni tude of her loss hi t her as she thought about how Madeli ne used to vi si t them for di nner. Those had been fun and happy ti mes. Now they were gone forever. Her eyes fi lled wi th tears. Please don t say anythi ng, she begged, angui sh maki ng her voi ce tremble. My fri end just di ed. I know. He surpri sed her by pulli ng her i nto hi s arms. She di dn t mi nd. At that moment she wanted to be held. She wanted to be comforted. She wanted to know that she wasn t alone. And she cri ed because she knew he was strong enough to take her tears. He di dn t say anythi ng. There were no soothi ng words of comfort or reassurances, he was just therea qui et, soli d presence and that was all she needed.

Fi nally the tears ebbed and she drew away. Thank you. He nodded. Brenda looked up and checked hi s shoulder. Not too much water damage. She stared down at hi s chest, unable to meet hi s gaze. She touched hi s ti e. Remember when Madeli ne and I used to compete to see who could buy you the ugli est ti e for your bi rthday? Yes, she usually won. I know. I don t know where she got them. Especi ally that one that moved si de to si de at the sound of musi c. Brenda laughed. Yes, I remember that one. I sti ll have i t. She glanced up surpri sed. Hi s voi ce deepened. I have all of them. She opened her mouth to respond, but a voi ce cut her off. Brenda, I ve been looki ng for you, Frankli n sai d. I wanted a chance to tell you how sad I am. How sad he was as though the rest of them di dn t feel anythi ng. Typi cal Frankli n. Thank you. Frankli n glanced at Domi ni c. Hello, Ayers. Domi ni c nodded. Frankli n. Nei ther man li ked the other. Brenda had told Domi ni c about Frankli n, but she di dn t know why Frankli n di dn t li ke hi m. He would have made a good ally. I would have put her on my project i f I d known she was so desperate. Brenda knew he was lyi ng. Madeli ne di d not hi de the fact that she thought he was a leech. She probably would have sai d no anyway, she sai d. Yes, some people have too much pri de. Or taste, Domi ni c sai d. Frankli n narrowed hi s eyes, then left. Brenda turned and retri eved her coat. Domi ni c took i t from her and held i t out. Promi se me i f you need anything you ll call me. She sli pped i nto her coat. Of course. Hi s hands fell to her shoulders, clampi ng down li ke manacles. No, I want your promi se. Domi ni c. Hi s fi ngers touched the soft hai rs on her neck, hi s voi ce softened to a whi sper. Promi se. I promi se. If I need anything I wi ll call you. He released her. Thank you. You re welcome. She opened the door. By the way, fi nd another vi ce. Brenda turned and saw hi m holdi ng up her package of Brenda turned and saw hi m holdi ng up her package of ci garettes. She reached for them. Gi ve those back. He shook hi s head and put them i n hi s jacket pocket. I

won t let you rui n an excellent record. That doesn t sound li ke my Brenda. I m not your Brenda. I thought you cared but you were just bei ng sneaky and goi ng through my handbag. I do care. He gri nned. Dri ve safely. He closed the door. Brenda stared at the door for a few seconds, reluctantly i mpressed wi th how he d tri cked her and then walked down the steps. Natali e Swanson darted out of vi ew when Domi ni c turned away from the door. She di dn t want hi m to see her. She spoke to the man next to her. Di d you see that? See what? Thomas Yardwell sai d, enteri ng somethi ng i nto hi s electroni c organi zer. Natali e sent hi m an annoyed glance taki ng i n hi s hard jaw and long lashes. She only slept wi th hi m out of absolute boredom and knew that thei r relati onshi p would soon end, but ri ght now i t sui ted them both. Dr. Ayers and that woman. That i nformati on caught hi s attenti on. Domi ni c s wi th a woman? Not now. She s gone. But i n the two years she d been worki ng for Dr. Ayers she d never seen hi m look at a woman li ke that, let alone gi ven Natali e the I m okay si gnal. Usually i t was SOS and she would come to hi s rescue, effi ci ently whi ski ng hi m away from the ongoi ng rush of unwanted female attenti on. I m sure i t s no bi g deal, Thomas sai d. He was bli nd to anythi ng but work and as Domi ni c s ri ght-hand man, he had plenty to do. He was responsi ble for Domi ni c s busy schedule, whi ch was constantly full. Domi ni c di dn t seem to mi nd, but Natali e worri ed about hi m. Not that anyone li stened to her; she was just an assi stant and a gi rlfri end. Thomas wasn t i nterested i n her opi ni ons. He li ked three thi ngs about her: her looks, her money and her father s name. The Swanson name opened doors for hi m and Thomas treated her well because of i t, as though she were an i nvestment. She di dn t care, because she li ked bei ng treated well. Although she di dn t need the assi stant job Thomas had gotten for her, she li ked bei ng useful and worki ng for Dr. Ayers was never bori ng. For a whi le she thought Domi ni c wasn t i nterested i n women i n that way. He fli rted wi th them, but never went beyond that. Seei ng hi m today erased that thought. When she saw hi m talki ng to that tall, i nti mi dati ng fi gure, who she later di scovered was Brenda Everton, she thought i t was just busi ness, but that assumpti on changed when she noti ced the way Brenda looked at hi m. At fi rst she guessed he mi ght need rescui ng unti l she saw how he looked back

at Brenda and the look made Natali e s eyes wi den wi th shock. I wonder i f they re sti ll i n love. Who? Thomas asked, all i nterest gone. Natali e walked away. Never mi nd. Brenda woke up to the phone ri ngi ng. She glanced at the clock, but her eyes were swollen from cryi ng and she could barely make out the ti me. She pi cked up her wri st watch and squi nted. It was one o clock. From the sun peeri ng through the bli nds i t was obvi ously one i n the afternoon. The fact that she d over-slept di dn t matter because she d taken the day off. Madeli ne s letter sti ll lay on the ground where she d left i t last ni ght. The phone conti nued to shri ll. She grabbed i t and grumbled, Hello? Her brother s soothi ng voi ce came on the li ne. It s Clement. I wanted to make sure you re okay. I m okay, she sai d tryi ng not to sound too surly. She knew he cared but she was si ck of bei ng asked the questi on. He li ved alone i n Portland, Oregon, but occasi onally came to vi si t. He was one of the few brothers who bothered to fi nd out how she was doi ng, the rest were too busy. I m really sorry about Dr. Cartwri ght. Her whole li fe was her career and when i t di dn t work out she gave up. She was my i dol. That s what worri es me. Brenda sat up. Why? You don t thi nk you re si mi lar? Brenda rubbed her eyes. I m not goi ng to ki ll myself i f that s what you re thi nki ng. Pi cked up any ci garettes? Thi s was why he was her favori te brother and why he also annoyed her. Do you have spi es? I know you and I know how you used to deal wi th stress. I haven t smoked yet, I just thought about i t. I have a lot on my mi nd. Li ke what? It doesn t matter. Brenda was i n no mood to tell Clement about the money she needed for her project and that she was just as desperate as Madeli ne had been. It would only confi rm hi s compari son of them. It s work-related, i sn t i t? he asked, soundi ng smug. Actually i t s about the three men I m currently dati ng. They re all scheduled to come over today and I don t know what to do. Uh-huh. Hi s tone made her defensi ve. I li ke my job and I care about the people who work for me. Yes, but you ve li ved your li fe these past few years thi nki ng of everyone but yourself. It s not good for your health. When was the last ti me you were on a date or took a

vacati on? I don t remember. Brenda, I thi nk I wi ll go on a vacati on soon. She wanted to ask about his love li feshe knew he di dn t have oneor hi s bully boss, so he would reali ze hi s li fe was as stagnant as hers, but she di dn t want to argue. I d better go, there s someone at the door. Talk to you later. Brenda hung up the phone. She contemplated goi ng back to bed, but knew she wouldn t be able to get back to sleep. She stood and grabbed her robe then li fted Madeli ne s letter off the ground and reread i t. Dear Brenda, Please don t judge me too harshly. After I found out that I lost the fundi ng I knew my li fe wouldn t mean much anymore. My career was all that I had. I gave i t everythi ng and i t swallowed my li fe. I had nothi ng left and nothi ng else to li ve for. It s easi er thi s way. I ve let people down and di sappoi nted them and I can t face that. I wi ll mi ss you. Take care. Your eternal fri end, Madeli ne. Brenda carefully folded the note and put i t i n her pocket. She went i nto the ki tchen, made a cup of coffee, then stepped out on her pati o. She looked out at Lake Washi ngton, whi ch she could see from the back of her house, and watched several boats adri ft i n the di stance. She saw a couple walki ng along the joggi ng path, thei r joy almost palpable. She thought of Sonya getti ng marri ed and the joy of starti ng a new stage i n her li fe. The thought made her feel old. How patheti c, she hadn t completed her thi rd decade yet, although that was close, and she already felt anci ent. Work was her li fe. She couldn t remember the last ti me she had taken ti me out to si t and do nothi ng. She di dn t want to end up li ke Madeli ne or go back to smoki ng and bei ng more mani c than before. She needed to change. For a moment she thought about how ni ce i t would be to have a man i n her li fe agai n. Someone she could talk to, do thi ngs wi th and have i ncredi ble lovemaki ng. That would be ni ce. She mi ssed i t. But what could she do to change? Dumped? Bored? Then this is the club for you! The words popped i nto her mi nd. Where had she heard them before? Brenda searched her mi nd, then remembered. Oh yes, that i nvi tati on. She d thrown i t i n the wastebasket. It expi red i n seven days. She counted off the days on her fi ngers. She had one day left. Her heart raced. Could she? Should she?

Brenda dashed i nsi de, went to her desk and checked the wastebasketempty. Suddenly pani c gri pped her. Of course i t was empty. Today was trash day.

Chapter 4 Brenda raced outsi de and heard the roari ng engi ne of the
garbage truck as i t crawled i ts way up the street. She li fted the cover from the trash can and started si fti ng through i ts contents. She gi ngerly pushed asi de some rotti ng food escapi ng a plasti c bag and swatted away a couple of fli es. She held her breath and conti nued searchi ng for the small whi te garbage bag. The truck drew closer, gri ndi ng and shi fti ng gears as i t stopped and started agai n. At last she found the bag and yanked i t out, just as the truck pulled up. The dri ver gave her a wi nk and a lasci vi ous look, appreci ati ng how her black robe hugged her fi gure and the vulnerabi li ty of her bare feet. She di dn t take ti me to noti ce. Back i nsi de she opened the bag, glad that everythi ng was sti ll i ntact. When she fi nally found the crumpled i nvi tati on, she smoothed i t out agai nst her leg, then sat at her desk and grabbed a pen. She read the i nstructi ons agai n, then began to fi ll i t out. Some of the questi ons would have made her pause before, but she di dn t have the ti me to thi nk them over, and i nstead wrote down the fi rst thi ng that came to her. Which do you prefer? Postcards or love notes? Postcards. Flowers or candy? Nei ther. I prefer somethi ng I need. What would your ideal man be like? Ideal man? Frankli n had once been her i deal, but had been her fi rst mi stake. Clever, dri ven and handsome, but he had proven to be all wrong. Domi ni c had also been her i deal. Bri lli ant, funny, successful, but he had also turned out to be a mi stake. She wasn t sure she had an i deal anymore; unfortunately she had to wri te somethi ng. She di dn t want thei r complete opposi tesa stupi d, cruel man. Perhaps the thi rd ti me would be the charm. Domi ni c had been a huge i mprovement over Frankli n. Perhaps her new man would be an i mprovement over Domi ni c. She wrote: Intelligent. Then scratched i t out and wrote Brilliant, attractive, successful, knows how to have fun, and a great lover. She bi t her li p, then hasti ly scri bbled down and loves me more than his career. Work had been Domi ni c s mi stress. She di dn t want another relati onshi p li ke that. Brenda carefully read the sworn oath at the bottom of the page: As a member of The Black Stockings Society, I

swear I will not reveal club secrets, I will accept nothing but the best and I will no longer settle for less. She checked over her answers, then drove to the post offi ce and mai led i t. The moment she released the envelope i n the slot she began to doubt her deci si on. I m crazy, she thought. I just si gned up for a soci ety I ve never heard of. She had enclosed a check, although the amount was nomi nal, but she had no way to trace i t. She shrugged. If she got no reply i t would fi t wi th the ki nd of luck she d been havi ng lately. Sad busi ness about Dr. Cartwri ght, Chuck sai d when Brenda returned to work. Yes, Brenda sai d, walki ng to her desk. He wrung hi s hands and stared at her. Because he made no moti on to leave her offi ce Brenda guessed he had somethi ng else to say. What i s i t, Chuck? I don t want to bother you, especi ally after all you ve been through. But But I was wonderi ng how your i dea i s comi ng. It s not to put pressure on youI m just curi ous. Could I get a hi nt? No. I ll tell you when everythi ng i s settled. Brenda rested her paperwork on her desk and sat down. Are you sure there s nothi ng I can do? Yes. I wouldn t mi nd A knock on the door cut hi m off. Come i n, Brenda sai d, grateful for the i nterrupti on. Sonya bounced i n. She handed somethi ng to Chuck. There you go, Dr. Lawson. Then she bounced over to Brenda s desk and placed an envelope on i t. And that s for you, Dr. Everton. A weddi ng i nvi tati on, Chuck sai d readi ng hi s. Yes. I know I m supposed to mai l them, but I thought thi s was better. And I get to save two stamps. Better yet, you could have saved the envi ronment and just sent an e-card, Chuck sai d. Sonya s face fell. Brenda sent hi m a cutti ng glance and he went red. But you can t put an e-card i n a scrapbook, she sai d. Sonya s smi le returned. Ri ght, Chuck grumbled. Sonya came around the desk and peered over Brenda s arm. Do you li ke i t? I desi gned i t myself. Brenda edged her chai r away. It s very ni ce. Sonya returned to the other si de of the desk. I already have both of you down as defi ni tely comi ng. Thi s i s just a formali ty. Please let me know by the deadli ne i f you re planni ng on bri ngi ng a date Her words di ed away as she looked at Brenda, as i f the i dea were absurd.

I ll let you know, Brenda sai d fi lli ng the awkward si lence. Thanks. She bounced out. Brenda watched her go, reluctantly rememberi ng Frankli n s sni de remark about Sonya s cheerleadi ng past. Can t remember the last weddi ng I went to, Chuck sai d. Brenda looked at the rai nbow-colored i nvi tati on. I have a feeli ng you ll remember thi s one. Have you ordered the water heater? Li ncoln called out to Brenda as she checked her mai l. They re havi ng a sale at the hardware store. I ll get to i t. Better hurry, the sale ends soon. Thanks, she sai d absently, her attenti on focused on a package left on her doorstep. It looked ordi nary, but she knew i t was not. She pi cked i t up, anxi ous to see what was i nsi de. She sat at the ki tchen table and opened i t. Insi de were several i tems: four pai rs of stocki ngs, a membershi p card and stri ct i nstructi ons. She read the card: Brenda Katherine Everton, Member, The Black Stockings Society. It looked very i mpressi ve, helpi ng to push asi de some of her li ngeri ng doubt. Then she pulled out a pai r of stocki ngs and burst i nto laughter. She pulled out another pai r and laughed even harder. She could hardly si t up strai ght when she saw the thi rd pai r. Thi s had to be a practi cal joke. These couldn t be for her. Di dn t they know who she was? She was certai n she d been very speci fi c i n her appli cati on. Thi s was all wrong. She wi ped away the tears that had been streami ng down her face from laughter and read the letter i nsi de: Welcome to The Black Stocki ngs Soci ety. Your fi rst assi gnment i s to take your membershi p card to Bi g and Beauti ful. B and B? Brenda avoi ded shoppi ng at that store. She hated any place set asi de for women too wi de or too tall for regular fashi ons. She always felt awkward because she di dn t know how to shop for clothes. Brenda paused, reconsi deri ng her aversi on to Bi g and Beauti ful. Shoppi ng there would be better than goi ng to a regular clothi ng store. She remembered an i nci dent when she was i n her early twenti es where a clerk nearly fai nted when she d asked for a pai r of black fi tted trousers. The woman had looked at her as though she were a gi ant. B and B may not be too bad after all. But then agai n, what was wrong wi th her clothes? She had her system down. Duri ng graduate school, she had been i ntroduced to a tai lor who made her custom clothi ng. Brenda wore pri mari ly black or whi te, wi th only a few gray

or dark blue i tems, so that she never had to worry about matchi ng. Besi des, she had spent over ten years worki ng i n laboratori es weari ng a whi te lab coat. Clothi ng was not a pri ori ty for her. Asi de from li mi ti ng herself to basi c colors, Brenda had no i dea of how to select styles that fi t her shape. She left that job up to her tai lor, and he had done a great job. Brenda read the i nstructi ons agai n, then shrugged. She could do thi s. What was there to lose? Flash her membershi p card and get some new clothes, whi ch she would make sure matched her color scheme. How hard could that be? Several days later Brenda stood i n the large warehouseli ke atmosphere of Bi g and Beauti ful, where mannequi ns loomed large and clothi ng hung at eye level. She glanced around and found the Customer Servi ce counter. A stri ki ng, tall woman stood there looki ng bored. When she saw Brenda approachi ng she perked up and smi led. How can I help you? I beli eve I m suppose to show you thi s. She held out the card. The woman took the card, then grabbed a pai r of sci ssors. Wai t. What are you doi ng? Maki ng sure thi s i s the real thi ng. Some women have tri ed to make copi es. Don t worry, i f i t s real, i t wi ll pass the test. She conducted her test, nodded then replaced the sci ssors. She handed i t back to Brenda. I noti ce you don t wear heels. They re not comfortable. Besi des You don t li ke toweri ng over people I bet. You ll get over that. She snapped her fi ngers and an older woman rushed up to them. Take Dr. Everton to the lounge, she sai d enunci ati ng the word. Yes, yes. Follow me. I m Mrs. Gi lbert. I m Brenda. Glad to meet you. Mrs. Gi lbert led Brenda to an elevator. Once the doors closed she punched several numbers i nto the keypad and the elevator descended. When i t eventually opened, Mrs. Gi lbert led her down a small corri dor, then stopped i n front of a dark red door. She knocked, sai d Goodbye, then hurri ed away. Seconds later the door opened and a woman around Brenda s age, wi th oli ve-toned ski n, and sharp, poi nty features, popped her head out. What are you doi ng down here? Someone, I mean Mrs. Gi lbert brought me down here. The lady remai ned parti ally hi dden behi nd the door. Do you have i denti fi cati on?

I have my dri ver s li cense. That s not what I mean. Somethi ng that you showed to them up there. She poi nted up. That had someone lead you down here. She poi nted down. Oh, you mean thi s? Brenda handed the woman her card. Yes. She i nspected i t, then sai d, That si lly woman, she s supposed to take you to the lounge. She s goi ng to get fi red. She seems si ncere, Brenda sai d, not wanti ng to be responsi ble for Mrs. Gi lbert losi ng her job. That s not good enough. The woman turned and sai d somethi ng to someone i nsi de, then looked at Brenda. I m Marci Jacobs. Follow me. Brenda tri ed to hi de her surpri se when the woman emerged. Her protrudi ng belly made i t out of the door before the rest of her. She caught Brenda s look and proudly patted her stomach. Enormous, i sn t i t? Hi s father s really tall, so i t s expected. I m not even due for another three months. I wonder what I ll look li ke then? Brenda wasn t sure whether to offer her pi ty or congratulati ons. You must be happy. We re thri lled. I never thought thi s would happen to me. Brenda made a noncommi ttal sound, then changed the subject. Are you part of thi s Soci ety thi ng? It s not a thing and no, I m not a member, but I am an associ ate and I take my responsi bi li ti es seri ously. How can you be an associ ate and not a member? Easy. The process of selecti on i s the same. I just don t get certai n pri vi leges. And that doesn t bother you? No. Thi s Soci ety has helped a lot of women and I m proud to be a part of i t. But does i t really need all thi s secrecy? I mean i t seems a bi t overdone for just getti ng a bunch of clothes and meeti ng a guy. Marci stopped walki ng and turned, looki ng di rectly i nto Brenda s eyes. In one moment she swi tched from looki ng li ke Mother Earth to a Warri or Woman. Thi s Soci ety i s very seri ous and i f you just want to see i t as a bunch of clothes and makeup, and meeti ng some guy, then I suggest I take you back upstai rs ri ght now. Brenda opened her mouth to protest, but Marci conti nued. Thi s club i s for women who want to change thei r li ves, who have the courage to do what they have to, to fi nd the love they want. There s power i n bei ng a member of The Black Stocki ngs Soci ety. That s why you can t tell anyone. She turned and conti nued walki ng. When i nvi tati ons are sent out how does the Soci ety know that the women selected wi ll keep i t a secret? We have spi es. She smi led. We know more about you

than you thi nk Dr. Everton. Can someone fi nd out why they were chosen or who nomi nated them? No, that s i mmateri al. You were selected, just accept that and follow the i nstructi ons. Women, such as yourself, are selected based on very stri ct cri teri a. Fi nally Marci stopped i n front of a green door and keyed i n a number. Brenda bri efly wondered i f she had dropped i nto Ali ce s Wonderland wi th all the di fferent colored doors. The door opened. Marci fli pped on the li ghts, reveali ng a large number of racks wi th an array of clothi ng i tems and accessori es. Brenda looked at them wi th mi ld pani c. Where s the black? There s no black and no whi te here. You wi ll be weari ng color from now on. Marci could see and feel Brenda s anxi ety. Don t worry. The i tems that have been selected for you wi ll complement your exi sti ng wardrobe. We consulted wi th Mr. Anthony, your tai lor, to help wi th our selecti on. Matchi ng the i tems won t be di ffi cult; your new pi eces wi ll all be i nterchangeable. He also i nformed us that you re used to havi ng your clothes deli vered so we wi ll also conti nue that servi ce for you. I see, Brenda sai d, unconvi nced. No, you don t, but you wi ll. Marci walked around Brenda, looki ng her up and down. You have beauti ful hai r. Do you ever wear i t down? Rarely. Except i n a ponytai l. It s so dry and fly-away. I ll show you how to control i t by weari ng broad, classy headbands. You need to let your hai r out, especi ally on weekends, for a di fferent look. Brenda touched a purple blouse. I don t thi nk thi s color looks good on me. Don t worry, i t wi ll work. I thi nk I need shorter sleeves. No, you don t. I have selected every i tem you see here and trust me, they work for your bui ld and body shape. After hours of tryi ng on several of Marci s selecti ons Brenda sti ll hadn t been reassured, and di d not trust Marci s judgment wi th some of the i tems. However, i f weari ng an assortment of colors would help her fi nd her i deal man, she was wi lli ng to do whatever i t took. Brenda took copi ous notes. She di d not want to forget anythi ng. She detai led each i tem Marci selected, i ncludi ng speci fi c i nstructi ons for whi ch accessori es she should wear wi th each outfi t. Thi s fi tted long-sleeved turquoi se blouse wi ll be able to go wi th many i tems i n your wardrobe, Marci sai d, wi th a heavy si gh as she watched Brenda s hand race across her notepad. Whi ch ones exactly? Brenda asked.

Any. You can t go wrong. Remember your basi c colors are black and whi te. I know that, she sai d wi th i mpati ence. But that parti cular shade of turquoi se appears to be too subdued to wear wi th somethi ng black, and defi ni tely too loud to wear wi th anythi ng whi te. And That s enough! Brenda held out her hands, sendi ng a worri ed glance to Marci s stomach. Don t exci te yourself. I m not goi ng to go i nto labor, although i t s possi ble, because you re dri vi ng me crazy. I have been doi ng thi s for years and never i n my li fe have I met someone li ke you. I don t understand. The notes, the questi ons. They re just clothes. So what i f one day you don t match? I m a professi onal. How I conduct myself i s very i mportant. I don t want to come across as some, some Brenda tri ed hard but couldn t fi nd the word. Marci di dn t gi ve her ti me to fi nd i t. Top busi ness people have been known to wear two types of shoes to work, or have gone to the offi ce wi th thei r trouser leg stuck i n thei r sock. It s not the end of the world. Li ghten up. You re too hard on yourself. But New rule. No more questi ons. You have to trust me. Marci walked to one of the clothi ng racks near by and pulled out an outfi t. Thi s i s what you wi ll wear on your fi rst date. My what? Brenda asked, barely able to regi ster what Marci had sai d and what she was holdi ng up. Date. You re goi ng on one shortly. For di nner. You ll wear your fi rst pai r of stocki ngs, the seamed black stocki ngs wi th a sequi ned rose embossed on the ankle and thi s. Brenda looked at the red two-pi ece tai lored sui t. You have to be ki ddi ng. I d never Marci narrowed her gaze. Trust me. Brenda bi t her li p. She never wore the color red. Her mother constantly remi nded her that red was too loud a color for a woman her age. And whenever she wore a sui t, i t was always a pantsui t. Wi th her hei ght, her mother had repeatedly poi nted out when she was growi ng up that her long ski nny legs looked li ke corn stalks. It s you, Marci sai d, not gi vi ng her a moment to respond. We ll shi p everythi ng to you. Good luck. Marci opened her arms for a hug. Brenda hesi tated, wonderi ng how she was supposed to maneuver herself around Marci s stomach, and she di dn t feel comfortable gi vi ng her a hug strai ght on. Marci ti lted her head to the si de and let her arms fall. I make you uncomfortable, don t I? Brenda felt her face grow hot. No, i t s not

Thi s Soci ety i sn t about wi ves and mothers i f that s what s worryi ng you. We re not gi vi ng you clothes and accessori es just so you can get a man. The ti me we ve spent selecti ng these i tems was done wi th a great deal of thought. For a real change to happen i n your li fe you need to get i n touch wi th you and what you want. You joi ned the Soci ety because you want a man i n your li fe, ri ght? Brenda started to respond, offended by Marci s descri pti on of her as some desperate si ngle, but Marci conti nued. There s nothi ng wrong wi th expressi ng that desi re. It doesn t make you weak. Marci walked Brenda to the door. It took me a whi le to learn that lesson. You ve spent your li fe fi ghti ng so much for everythi ng that you ve deni ed yourself many of li fe s pleasures. It s ti me you stopped fi ghti ng and started maki ng love. It s a lot more fun. She wi nked. Brenda laughed, feeli ng more relaxed than before. She hugged Marci , glad she understood. Thanks. Don t leave yet. We re not done wi th you. She handed Brenda a card, and told her she had an appoi ntment at the hai r salon behi nd another door. Wi th the help of a peti te, energeti c styli st and beauty consultant, Brenda learned about taki ng care of her ski n, how to apply makeup for a natural look and had her hai r done. She emerged weari ng her hai r i n a smooth style that went past her shoulders. Wow, i s that me? Her hai r felt soft to the touch and for the fi rst ti me, i n a long ti me, looked healthy and tamed! Don t forget, moi sture i s very i mportant for your hai r, and your hai r i s deli cate. Just because i t s thi ck doesn t mean you shouldn t be gentle wi th i t. At the end of the hai r and makeup sessi ons, Brenda recei ved a full body massage, mani cure and pedi cure. How much do I owe? she asked the styli st, as she prepared to exi t. It s all part of the membershi p. We ll send you si x months supply of beauty products. They ll come wi th your clothes when they are deli vered. Enjoy the rest of the day. Brenda wanted to share her new look wi th Marci , but she d left for lunch. Di sappoi nted, Brenda followed Mrs. Gi lbert back upstai rs and left. The clothes and other i tems arri ved at her house that eveni ng and Brenda i mmedi ately put them away. Although clothes di dn t i nterest her, she kept her closet organi zed. She took ti me to put the colorful i tems such as scarves, belts, sweaters and shoes i n close proxi mi ty to the appropri ate black and whi te i tems. Once fi ni shed, Brenda made some soup, then flopped down on her couch. She grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. She began fli ppi ng channels, and there he was:

Domi ni c. It was a rerun of one of hi s early documentari es. If you need anything just call me. She thought of the Soci ety and a chance at a new begi nni ng. Yes, she needed somethi ng and she defi ni tely knew whom to call.

Chapter 5 She shouldnt have tried to hide from him, Domi ni c

thought. He sat at hi s desk wi th hi s feet on the table absently li steni ng to Natali e gi ve hi m hi s messages and rememberi ng the funeral. No, Brenda shouldn t have tri ed to hi de from hi m. He would have left her alone otherwi se, but that one acti on had put hi s predatory i nsti ncts i n overdri ve. If she wanted to hi de, he was goi ng to seek. And i t surpri sed hi m how glad he was to fi nd her. He toyed wi th the yo-yo i n hi s hand, amazed at hi s response to her. She was a li ttle older and cooler, but she sti ll made hi s blood run hot. Nothi ng had changed those deep brown eyes, smooth ski n and body, whi ch sti ll sui ted hi m perfectly. He hadn t held her only to comfort her; he li ked havi ng her i n hi s arms agai n. He swore. He should have gotten over her by now. It had been three years. He d gi ven up hope that she d ever come back to hi m and he defi ni tely wouldn t beg. Dr. Ayers? Natali e sai d. Yes? You haven t answered my last questi on. He watched the yo-yo go up and down. What i s i t? The Board wants to know i f you ll speak at the unvei li ng of the pavi li on at Chi ldren s Hospi tal next Saturday. Sure. The yo-yo went up. You have a two o clock appoi ntment wi th Dr. Haag the mari ne bi ologi st from Sweden, who i s i n town for a conference. Okay. The yo-yo went down. Brenda Everton asked that you return her call. Fi ne. Your accountant needs to schedule a ti me when you and he can meet, or at least talk over the phone. Okay. He paused, then hi s feet crashed to the floor and he sat up. What di d you say? That your accountant needs He waved hi s hands i mpati ently, pulli ng the yo-yo from hi s fi nger and letti ng i t clatter on hi s desk. No, before that. She glanced at her notes. That Brenda Everton asked that you return her call. Yes. He wi ggled i mpati ent fi ngers. Please gi ve me that message. He took i t from her and stared at the note. Yes, I heard ri ght, he sai d wi th wonder. You sai d Brenda

Everton. Is there a problem? No, at least I don t know. What di d she sound li ke? I m not sure. She was very di rect. Not depressed? No, very controlled. He nodded reli eved. Yep, that s my Brenda. Natali e looked at hi m both curi ous and i ntri gued. I could handle thi s for you i f she s a bother. He shook hi s head then looked up at Natali e and gri nned at her concerned expressi on. I ve been wanti ng thi s woman to bother me for three years. Would you li ke me to read your other messages? Umno. Just leave them. She placed them on the table, then left. Domi ni c slowly sank back i n hi s seat. What did Brenda want? What was she up to? He pi cked up hi s yo-yo. He had to approach her wi th the ri ght strategy. What should he say? Heard that you called? What s wrong? What do you want? He d follow her cues, i f she was cool, he d be cooler. Domi ni c li fted the phone recei ver and began to di al. Natali e rushed i nto the room. Dr. Ayers? I m on the phone, he snapped. I know, but i t s an emergency. I have Mr. Woods from Sci ence In The News on the li ne. Can t you take a message? He sai d i t s urgent. One of the hosts for thi s eveni ng s li ve TV broadcast had a terri ble acci dent, and he needs a replacement i mmedi ately. Damn, he d have to fly out i mmedi ately i f he was goi ng to do i t. Ri chard Woods was a very good fri end of hi s and wouldn t have called hi m i f he di dn t have to. Domi ni c swore and slammed down the phone. They sai d the host wi ll be all ri ght and you ll be compensated handsomely, Natali e sai d qui ckly, mi si nterpreti ng hi s anger. Fi ne. He stood and grabbed hi s thi ngs. Brenda would have to wai t. Three days. She d been wai ti ng for a response from Domi ni c for three days. Brenda sat i n her li vi ng room, fumi ng. Nothi ng. Not a phone call, not an e-mai l. Not even sky wri ti ng. No reply. Call me if you need anything. She d been fooli sh to beli eve hi m. Each day was a remi nder of why Domi ni c was her ex-husband. He was always busy. Why would thi s ti me be any di fferent? She was probably at the bottom of hi s li st of pri ori ti es. She d been so preoccupi ed, she hadn t tri ed on any of her new outfi ts and went to work dressed as usual. Once the ordeal was over regardi ng where to fi nd fundi ng, she would start weari ng them, but presently she was too angry.

The phone rang. She stared at i t. Dont get your hopes upits not him, she remi nded herself. It rang agai n. She answered. Hello? Hello, thi s i s Natali e Swanson. I m calli ng on behalf of Dr. Ayers. He d li ke to know i f you re free for di nner Fri day. Yes, Brenda repli ed. Fi nally he had found ti me to put her on hi s schedule. She tempered her exci tement. She di dn t care; all she wanted was to meet wi th hi m, ask hi m for a loan and leave. Why di d he want to meet over di nner? Where does he want to meet me? He sai d he ll send a car for you around 7:30 p.m. Thank you, but just send me di recti ons. I ll dri ve myself. It wi ll be at hi s house, she sai d tentati vely. That s fi ne. Are you sure you don t want a car? I m sure. Thank you. You re welcome. Natali e put down the phone, then glanced up when Domi ni c entered the recepti on area. He passed her desk and walked di rectly i nto hi s offi ce. He looked exhausted. She knew he had completed the TV show, then vi si ted the ori gi nal host i n the hospi tal. She also knew he d been so busy he hadn t attended to detai ls li ke returni ng Brenda s call. I just spoke to Brenda, she sai d as she took a chai r i n hi s offi ce. He grabbed hi s yo-yo. Yes? She li cked her lower li p. About the di nner you wanted her to have wi th you. Di nner? Yes, remember you asked me to set one up for you for Fri day at 7:30? He set the yo-yo down. I di d? Yes, she sai d fi rmly, determi ned that he would not uncover her ploy. He folded hi s arms, uncertai n. Di d she agree? Yes, she ll meet you at your place. Hi s brows shot up. Brenda s wi lli ng to come to my house? Yes. He let hi s arms fall. Good. He smi led and looked a li ttle bri ghter. Thanks. Natali e gri nned, pleased wi th herself. You re welcome. That Fri day eveni ng, Brenda dressed wi th care as she put on the red sui t. Then she tri ed on the pai r of black stocki ngs wi th the red rose. They felt luxuri ous, cli ngi ng to her ski n and outli ned her legs, maki ng them look curvaceous for the fi rst ti me i n her li fe. She looked i n her full-length mi rror and hardly recogni zed herself. She had pulled her hai r back i nto a

French brai d. The hai r products she had been gi ven made her hai r easy to style. A pai r of pearl-drop earri ngs decorated her ears and a thi n si lver necklace wi th a large pearl pendant graced her neck. But i t was the red sui t and black stocki ngs that stunned her most. A naughty smi le touched her face. Domi ni c was i n for a surpri se. Alli ance Incorporated i s wai ti ng for a response, Thomas sai d, strai ghteni ng one of the awards that li ned Domi ni c s offi ce. Domi ni c threw hi s yo-yo i n the ai r. I know. You can t keep them hangi ng on. Natali e knocked on the door, then peeked i nsi de. Dr. Ayers? Thomas rushed over to her and sai d i n a low voi ce. I thought I told you to go home over an hour ago. We re busy here. I know, but I have to speak to Dr. Ayers. Talk to hi m on Monday. But the ti me, she sai d soundi ng a li ttle desperate. I know what ti me i t i s, but I have to convi nce hi m of thi s deal. He gently but fi rmly spun her around. Go home. But Thomas He closed the door i n her face and turned back to Domi ni c. He sat i n front of hi m. Now about Alli ance Domi ni c shook hi s head as he lounged behi nd hi s desk. Don t worry. I ll gi ve you a deci si on soon. The phone rang. Thomas li fted i t before Domi ni c could. Not now, Thomas sai d knowi ng who the caller was. Let me talk to hi m, Natali e pleaded. Thomas hung up the phone and turned the ri nger off. Domi ni c frowned. Who was that? Nobody. He leaned on the desk and smi led at Domi ni c, determi ned to persuade hi m. If Natali e would just gi ve hi m ti me, he knew he could. I thi nk we should go over the reasons why thi s i s a good career opti on. Domi ni c s cell phone rang. Thomas gri pped hi s hands i nto fi sts wanti ng to smash i t under hi s heel. Domi ni c looked at the number and frowned. It s Natali e. Maybe she Don t answer i t. She s just tryi ng to annoy me because I owe her somethi ng. She s calli ng my phone to get to you? Domi ni c asked. Yes, I turned mi ne off. But Let s just end thi s talk, then I ll make i t up to her. Domi ni c shrugged, then set the phone down. There s not much to say. He knew that Thomas thought the deal wi th Alli ance Inc. would be great, but Domi ni c had hi s reservati ons. Madeli ne s death and seei ng Brenda agai n

made hi m want to rethi nk hi s helter-skelter li festyle. Perhaps you need more ti me to thi nk thi s over. Yes. Thomas si ghed, then looked at the clock. I d better go. Natali e and I are goi ng out of town tomorrow. Domi ni c frowned. But tomorrow i s Fri day. Today s Fri day. Check your calendar. Domi ni c s stomach fell as he glanced at hi s watch i n horror: Ei ght o clock. It can t be Fri day. Why not? He jumped to hi s feet and qui ckly gathered hi s thi ngs. Because I was supposed to meet someone at seven-thi rty on Fri day. Thomas gri nned. Then you d better hope that someone i s very forgi vi ng. Moments later Domi ni c sped down the road whi le talki ng to Shei la, hi s housekeeper, through hi s earpi ece. Is she sti ll there? Yes. Is everythi ng ready? I m always ready, Shei la huffed. Ri ght, of course. You re the best, he sai d, not wanti ng to anger two women i n one day. Tell Brenda I ll be ri ght there. I ve been telli ng her that. Could you be more speci fi c? Less than twenty mi nutes. Hmm Shei la sai d, uni mpressed. He slowed down for a stop si gn. Does she look upset? No, she looks very calm. You wouldn t thi nk you were late at all. Domi ni c swore, then put hi s foot on the gas. That means she wants to cut off mynever mi nd. I ll be there soon. He ll be here soon, Shei la sai d to Brenda i n an apologeti c tone. Shei la di dn t look li ke a housekeeper, she had the body of a barmai d, the face of a rai si n and the chi rpy voi ce of a sparrow. Thank you, Brenda sai d. Do you need anythi ng? No, I m fi ne. Shei la nodded, then went i nto the ki tchen. Brenda glanced around the li vi ng room agai n. Yes, i t was all too fami li ar: the emergenci es, the late meeti ngs, the forgotten appoi ntments. If she di dn t need hi s money so much she would have left long ago and kept hi m out of her li fe another three years. But she di d need hi m and would do whatever was necessary. Not that she had much choi ce of leavi ng, she thought, glanci ng down at the Great Dane called Sergeant that had fallen asleep on her feet. When she had arri ved, he had

followed her and i mmedi ately fell on her feet as though he meant to keep her there unti l hi s owner returned. She once tri ed to nudge hi m to move, but he produced a surpri si ngly fi erce low growl, so she deci ded i t was best to wai t for Domi ni c s return. But she hadn t expected her wai t to have been that long. The dog had surpri sed her. They never had ti me for pets, but from the si ze of hi s house a lot had changed. It was nothi ng li ke the apartment he used to li ve i n or the coloni al home they had shared. But she wouldn t thi nk about that now. She was there for only one reason. Domi ni c dashed i nto the house, tossed hi s thi ngs i n the foyer, unbuttoned hi s shi rt and raced past the li vi ng room. He called out to the woman si tti ng there and sai d, I m just goi ng to change my shi rt. I ll be ri ght wi th you. Suddenly, somethi ng regi stered i n hi s mi nd. He sli d to a complete stop and backtracked to get a second look at the woman si tti ng on hi s couch. He stood i n the frame of the doorway wi th hi s shi rt halfway unbuttoned and one collar sti cki ng up. He di dn t care. He vaguely noti ced Sergeant come up and greet hi m and absently patted hi m on the head. He felt as though someone had punched hi m i n the gut. It had happened only twi ce i n hi s li feti me. Fi rst when hi s father told hi m he was leavi ng hi s mother and ten years ago, when a young woman came up behi nd hi m and sai d, Just because you re bri lli ant doesn t mean you have to annoy the professor. He had spun around ready to snap back. He was ti red of bei ng told what he could and couldn t do. When he turned the fi rst thi ng he saw was a really ni ce pai r of breasts i n a gray sweater. He qui ckly li fted hi s gaze and met startli ng, clear brown eyes. No one had ever talked to hi m li ke that or boldly looked at hi m as thei r equal. He stood speechless, hi s tongue li ke lead i n hi s mouth as he felt hi s heart raci ng. Just some fri endly advi ce, she sai d. I ve heard he can make your li fe mi serable. She walked away and he stood there feeli ng li ke he d turned to marble. She was halfway down the hall before he grabbed a classmate and poi nted. Who i s that? He had a clear vi ew of her but the other student, a few i nches shorter, struggled to see. Who? The gi rl i n the gray sweater. Oh, Brenda Everton. She s very ni ce. She helped me Thanks, Domi ni c i nterrupted, patti ng hi m on the shoulder. He raced after her, but lost her when she went outsi de. He had gi ven up searchi ng for her, then he saw her si tti ng on the grass wi th a large sketch pad. He punched hi s hand i nto hi s fi st bursti ng wi th tri umph, then walked up to

her. He sat down besi de her. You thi nk I m bri lli ant? Yes. She di dn t turn to acknowledge hi m and spoke i n a matter-of-fact way, wi thout the hi nt of a compli ment. He glanced at the ground. He di dn t know what to say to her and i t was clear he di dn t affect her the way she di d hi m and that annoyed hi m. But he di dn t leave. He wasn t leavi ng wi thout a phone number. Wi th effort he d gotten her to talk and to open up about her drawi ng and he d di scussed hi s fi lmmaki ng aspi rati ons. He felt as though they were connected on some cosmi c plane; that an i ntri cate bond exi sted between them. Whatever she di d to hi m that day had changed hi s enti re focus. He d marri ed her si x months later and hi s li fe had never been the same. He felt that same cosmi c shi ft now as i f hi s li fe was about to take another di recti on. The woman si tti ng i n hi s li vi ng room was not the Brenda he remembered and yet she was everythi ng he knew she could be: beauti ful, bold and dangerous to hi m. He welcomed the challenge. He walked toward her. You ve deci ded not to change your shi rt? she asked. I ve deci ded not to keep you wai ti ng any longer. He couldn t take hi s eyes off her as though she were a sorceress who had bewi tched hi m. Good. She stood. I ve been admi ri ng your house. You have a great vi ew. The back of her ski rt revealed a hi gh sli t, gi vi ng hi m a ni ce vi ew of her legs and emphasi zed the curve of her behi nd. Domi ni c rolled up hi s sleeves, hi s voi ce deepeni ng i nto huski ness when he noti ced the seducti ve rose on her ankle. Mi ne s better. Brenda bent down and li fted her bri efcase. The moti on only i mproved hi s vi ew. He was pleased to noti ce her fi ngers tremble. She wasn t as unaware of thei r attracti on as she pretended to be. Where are we meeti ng? she asked. He took her bri efcase and rested i t down. The sunroom. Would you li ke a dri nk? He conti nued buttoni ng up hi s shi rt, wi shi ng he di dn t have to and took off hi s ti e, keepi ng hi s gaze focused on her. He loved the way she d put her hai r back and let some fall agai nst her face. He wanted to toy wi th those strands. He also wanted to toy wi th that red sui t. He d never seen her i n red before, the color of passi on and heat and he could feel hi s own pulse raci ng and he fought hard not to grab her and fulfi ll the fantasy qui ckly growi ng i n hi s mi nd. Domi ni c took a deep breath and shi fted from one foot to the other, determi ned not to respond to her li ke some horny teenager, although that s how he felt. He would take thi s slow. No, I don t need a dri nk, she sai d. I d really li ke to talk

to you. You ll get your chance, he sai d, placi ng hi s hand on the small of her back to lead her to the other room. I m yours all eveni ng. And all night if you want. She sent hi m a look of warni ng. I only came here for busi ness. Of course, he sai d, then smi led.

Chapter 6 The sui t had been a mi stake. Comi ng here had been an
even bi gger one. She should have made her request over the phone, Brenda si lently scolded herself. She thought she could handle thi s and had been i mpressed when the housekeeper had shown her the elegant di nner table. But then the moments ti cked away and memori es began fi lli ng her mi nd. Then she heard hi s car and the front door slam, she heard hi s voi ce and saw hi m fly past. She was determi ned to keep a rei n on her temper. Then he d stopped and come back to look at her. He hadn t looked at her li ke that i n years, as i f he were slowly peeli ng away her clothes. No other man looked at her that way, and i t remi nded her of the fi rst ti me she d spoken to hi m He was one of the poorest grad students she d ever seen. She wondered how he could afford college. He never noti ced her or anyone. She never saw hi m wi th anyone else and doubted he had any fri ends. But she d noti ced hi m. The careless way he walked; hi s frayed shi rts and one pai r of sneakers that had the rubber sole comi ng loose. He seemed to have so much agai nst hi m that somethi ng i nsi de her wanted to see hi m succeed. She d approached hi m i n the corri dor outsi de of the lecture hall. She wasn t nervous. She had seven brothers and was never afrai d to approach a man, even a surly one. You re a smart guy, but you should be careful. Dr. Prenti ce could flunk you. He spun around and she braced herself for a cutti ng remark, but di dn t get one. He di dn t even look at her at fi rst and she wondered i f she d underesti mated hi s temper. Then he li fted hi s gaze and eyes shi ni ng wi th bri lli ance and fi erce i ndependence blazed i nto hers i gni ti ng an attracti on she di dn t know she had. Her heart jolted and she felt her enti re body grow hot. She stumbled over her next few words. It s because you challenge hi m and he doesn t take well to that and can be very vi ndi cti ve. That s my observati on. He made a noncommi ttal sound deep i n hi s throat, whi ch she couldn t i nterpret and conti nued stari ng at her i n that dark, magneti c way of hi s. Just some fri endly advi ce.

She flashed a qui ck smi le, then fled. She felt li ke a coward but that di dn t stop her from runni ng. She could feel hi s gaze on her and ran unti l she knew he was gone. Once outsi de she had felt fooli sh and tri ed to convi nce herself that she d made i t all up, but her body knew di fferently and she sti ll felt breathless. She deci ded to sketch and selected her favori te place to do so. She always carri ed a li ttle sketchbook wi th her and felt herself relax as she focused on drawi ng a butterfly resti ng on a rock nearby. So you thi nk I m smart? She di dn t dare turn around. She felt hi m si t besi de her. The breathless feeli ng returned. She focused on her drawi ng because she di dn t dare focus on hi m. Yes. He leaned i n closer. The hai rs on hi s arm brushed agai nst her ski n. You re very good, he sai d. Thanks. I li ke to sketch. It keeps my mi nd clear. Someti mes I try to draw thi ngs from memory to see how much detai l I can remember. Remi nds me to be observant. Dear God, she was rambling. She snapped her sketchbook closed because i t was clear he wasn t goi ng to move and she d have to. She needed to create di stance. Do I make you nervous? You make Dr. Prenti ce nervous. I can t help that. You can t be a fi lmmaker i f you don t know how to work wi th people. How di d you know about that? he demanded. I saw your documentary. I would have mi ssed i t but my younger brother was vi si ti ng and watchi ng TV and turned i t on. I really li ked i t. He shook hi s head i n di sbeli ef. I di dn t thi nk anyone would watch i t. I sti ll got a D. Hi s unhappi ness surpri sed her. She d thought he would rally agai nst such thi ngs as a professor s cri ti ci sm. She di dn t want anythi ng or anyone to crush hi s spi ri t. She ruffled through her bag, then pulled out a class project that sti ll brought her pai n. My professor gave me a D for thi s. I cri ed for days unti l I reali zed that he just hated me and not my work. He held the i llustrati on. Thi s i s great. Thanks. He traced the i llustrati on wi th hi s forefi nger. And he made you cry? I was devastated, but I got over i t. What was hi s name agai n? he asked the questi on i n such a qui et, neutral voi ce she sent hi m an uneasy look. Then she looked at hi s hands, he gri pped the paper wi thout creasi ng i t, but he held i t so ti ghtly that the vei ns on the back of hi s hands popped out. Hi s anger surpri sed and concerned her. She gently covered hi s hand, amazed by

the si ze and strength of i t. It doesn t matter now. I passed. He di dn t look at her, i nstead he stared at thei r hands. She qui ckly removed hers and stood. Where are you goi ng? I have to go to class. Can I call you? Sure. He called her the next day and they were marri ed si x months later. She stared at hi m now. There were no longer frayed shi rts or bursts of i nsecuri ti es, he was a self-made multi mi lli onai re and knew i t. They sat i n hi s enclosed sunroom, the cri sp autumn wi nd beati ng agai nst the wi ndow as the si gn of the approachi ng wi nter. Brenda looked at the large table covered wi th a damask table cloth, candles and a large di splay of fresh flowers i n the mi ddle. It was an effortlessly romanti c setti ng: the sound of the water, the soft li ghts of the ci ty, and soothi ng classi cal musi c dri fti ng i n through speakers. She remembered whenNo, Brenda caught herself. She was there on busi ness, not pleasure. But Domi ni c made that di ffi cult. Throughout di nner whi ch consi sted of smoked salmon, sweet potatoes, asparagus, sweet rolls and red wi nehe refused to talk about why she was there. He was a great conversati onali st and they talked about everythi ng but that. After her favori te dessert, chocolate mousse, Brenda felt more relaxed and Domi ni c fi nally brought up the topi c, whi le leadi ng her i nto the fami ly room. I m happy you called me, he sai d taki ng a seat on a large sofa. I was a li ttle worri ed about you. You don t have to be. Brenda adjusted her ski rt as she sat down i n a si de chai r and faced hi m. Madeli ne left me a letter. Brenda paused, surpri sed. She di d? He nodded. Di d she leave you one too? Yes. What di d yours say? I m not goi ng to tell you. He shrugged. Fai r enough, but after what happened di d i t make you want to change? It made me thi nk about my li fe. Now you re ready to have one. Oh, that s hi lari ous comi ng from you. How much ti me do you actually spend i n thi s house? I told you, he sai d slowly. I ve altered my pri ori ti es. I don t work as much as I used to. Really? She glanced at hi s organi zer on the si de table next to hi m. Yes. She held out her hand. Let me see your schedule for next week.

No. Why not? Do you have somethi ng to hi de? He rubbed hi s nose, uncomfortable. Thi s month s a bi t crowded. I knew you hadn t changed. He opened hi s organi zer and handed i t to her. She glanced through i t. I m surpri sed you have ti me to sleep. Yes, i t looks crowded, but that s only because I m not seei ng anyone at the moment. I guarantee you, i f I were, my schedule would look di fferently. I m sure i t would. He let her sarcasm sli de. So what can I do for you? Brenda cleared her throat. She d practi ced what she would say, but oddly, she felt awkward. I di dn t get fundi ng for phase two of my project and I need a loan. A loan? he repeated. Yes, a loan. I had thought of you as an i nvestor, but that would i nclude too much paperwork and i nvolvement. He sat back, hi s gaze sharp. And you just want my money, not me. It s more compli cated than that. I He folded hi s arms. How much do you want? About a mi lli on. I don t deal i n abouts . How much do you need? One poi nt fi ve mi lli on. How do you plan to pay back thi s loan? She opened her bri efcase. I ve sketched i t all out here. Brenda spread several papers out on the glass center table, confi dent that he would be i mpressed. Domi ni c glanced at the papers, then shook hi s head. I m not i n the mood to read. Just tell me. But I have everythi ng lai d out. If you d just Brenda, i t s a si mple questi on. If I have to go through four pages to fi nd out the answer, i t s a bad ri sk. He leaned forward. I know you. You can be very strai ghtforward when you want to be. But when you don t know an answer, you stall. You create complex repli es. That may work wi th others, but i t doesn t work wi th me. He traced the edge of the table, hi s tone unrelenti ng. Now, I m goi ng to ask you agai n. How do you plan to pay back thi s loan? Brenda stared down at her carefully lai d out i llusi on: the typed pages wi th all her projecti ons. He was smart, she should have known better. She should have remembered she couldn t decei ve hi m. I don t know. She rai sed her gaze, determi ned. But I wi ll. You know my word i s good. He sat back. Your word may be good, but I can t depend on your vows. The words hi t her li ke a slap, maki ng her angry. Don t gi ve me that. You wanted the di vorce as much as I di d.

He bli nked, but di dn t respond. Are you goi ng to gi ve me the loan or not? No. Brenda cooled her anger, qui ckly gathered her papers, then stood. Okay. Si t down. I haven t fi ni shed yet. Then talk to your dog. She turned to leave. I sai d si t. I m not stayi ng to hear your explanati on. Hi s gaze remai ned on her li ke a laser and each moment she defi ed hi m the laser burned hotter. He rarely shouted at anyone, and defi ni tely not at her. He just became very qui et wi th all the calm of an approachi ng tornado. She sat, reluctantly. Domi ni c di d not smi le wi th tri umph. Instead, he lowered hi s gaze and kept hi s voi ce soft. I m not goi ng to loan you the money, I m goi ng to gi ve i t to you. Gi ve i t to me? Yes, but I want you to do somethi ng for me i n return. I knew there would be a catch, she sai d i n di sgust. He got up and started to leave. No, wai t, she sai d, reali zi ng her error. Okay, I m li steni ng. He settled back i n hi s chai r. I m worki ng on a book and I need an i llustrator. Your publi sher wi ll hi re one for you. I know that, but I want you. She shook her head. Impossi ble. I haven t i llustrated i n years. Is that a no? It s a you re out of your mi nd. Okay. He stood up agai n and left. Brenda jumped up and followed hi m. Domi ni c, be reasonable. I m wi lli ng to gi ve you over a mi lli on dollars for twenty i llustrati ons and you re aski ng me to be reasonable? Are you afrai d? Is that why you re turni ng me down? I m not afrai d. She was terrified. She couldn t remember the last ti me she had had to work on a drawi ng assi gnment. Then what s holdi ng you back? She couldn t admi t weakness to hi m and besi des, she needed the money. She took a deep breath, determi ned to thi nk rati onally, not emoti onally. What s the project? He went i nto another room, then returned wi th some papers. Thi s. She stared at the outli ned descri pti on. Thi s could take an enti re year to complete. I don t have that ki nd of ti me to take away from my research. Yes, you do. Your research i s progressi ng well. And that fellow you work wi th, Chuck, i s a bri lli ant sci enti st and can

take the lead. You have the lab and the researchers. It doesn t need your dai ly i nvolvement anymore, you re basi cally just supervi si ng so you have ti me to help me. Who s the publi sher? What i f they don t li ke my style? A sly gri n touched hi s face. You re afrai d. She sti ffened. No, I m not. He held out hi s hand. Then we ll be worki ng together. Maybe we should have a tri al run fi rst. I could produce a few samples and He rested hi s hands on hi s hi ps. It s all or nothi ng. He pi nned her wi th an i ntense stare. She hesi tated. There s one more thi ng. What? Well, my water heater just busted. And you need money to replace i t. Yes. Now that changes thi ngs, he sai d, thoughtful. Why? Because that s a personal request. She ti lted her head to the si de and folded her arms. It s not that personal. If you want money for your water heater you have to i nvi te me over for di nner. Why? That s my condi ti on. Take i t or leave i t. But I don t cook, you know that. You can order somethi ng. Thi s doesn t make any sense to me. Fi rst you want i llustrati ons and then di nner. Why? Domi ni c pulled her agai nst hi s hard, soli d body and covered her mouth wi th hi s. Hi s mouth was even sweeter than she remembered. Her body shamelessly responded to bei ng i n hi s arms agai n. He always made her feel wi cked and wi ld. But before she could completely lose control, he abruptly pulled away, hi s voi ce as unsteady as she felt. That s why. You re not getti ng that as part of our partnershi p, she sai d, breathless. No, I expect to get that for free. Hi s arrogance i nfuri ated her. She rai sed her fi sts to hi t hi m i n the chest, but he grabbed them before she struck hi m. Go on and fi ght me, Brenda, he whi spered. Fi ght me long. Fi ght me hard, fi ght me wi th all your mi ght unti l you re weak. Then when you surrender, I ll be ready. I ll never surrender to you. You want me. He ki ssed her fi st, easi ng hi s leg between hers. Don t thi nk I don t feel i t. It s just the fact that you re a man, not that i t s you. Hi s jaw twi tched and anger bri efly darkened hi s eyes, then passed. I m goi ng to forgi ve you for that, but watch your mouth because I know how to close i t. He ki ssed her

neck. You smell good and feel even better. I d take you to bed toni ght i f I knew you were ready. But you d convi nce yourself i t was all a mi stake and regret i t i n the morni ng no matter how good i t was. And you d li e just to puni sh me. She bli nked at hi m as i f she were bored. May I go now? Hi s gaze locked i nto hers and she could see hi m measuri ng how far he was goi ng to push her, then he stepped back. We start next week. You have a few days to prepare. For what? The fact that I m goi ng to seduce you. You can try. The corner of hi s mouth ki cked up i n a wi cked gri n. You know me better than that, Brenda. I don t try. I succeed. She wasn t scared, Brenda told herself on her dri ve home. That wasn t her problem. No, she wasn t scared, she was aroused. Dangerously so. But that had always been her weakness when i t came to Domi ni c. However, thi s ti me she was determi ned to resi st. She could handle hi m. And no matter what seducti ve ploy he used she would fi ght i t. As she changed her clothes, hi s ki ss sti ll li ngered on her li ps. If she li cked them she was certai n she could taste hi m. She was afrai d that i f she looked at her body she d see where hi s hands had been as i f he d i mpri nted hi mself on her, not that she needed to see anythi ng, her body remembered everythi ng. Thank God she sti ll had a worki ng showercold water was all she needed. Thomas stared at Domi ni c, stunned. He leaned on the desk. Are you out of your mi nd? Domi ni c tossed hi s yo-yo i n the ai r. No, I ve made my deci si on. You want to forgo the opportuni ty of a li feti me so you can wri te a book? He di rected the yo-yo to the ground. Yes. Okay, what about the other deal we di scussed? Domi ni c caught hi s yo-yo i n a qui ck deci si ve moti on. I m sayi ng no to that too. Thomas took a deep breath. Domi ni c and hi s damn yoyo. He could strangle hi m wi th i t. But then agai n, the guy was maki ng hi m ri ch so he couldn t do that. He had to reason wi th hi m. But thi s i s TV. Thi s i s the next level for you. TV i s nothi ng new for me. Thi s i s the Nati onal Geographi c channel and they want you to be thei r techni cal advi sor on a major new seri es. I m not i nterested. You don t understand what thi s means. Thi nk about the money.

I have plenty of money. The presti ge. I have that too. I ve been on radi o, TV, i n magazi nes, newspapers, trade journals. I ve traveled the world and met fasci nati ng people. I ve done a lot of thi ngs, but after doi ng them, I go home alone. Is that what you want? A woman? I can get you one. Hell, you can get one yourself, but i f you re too busy I ll fi nd one for you. Just tell me the type you li ke and she s yours. I found my type years ago and I plan to get her back. You mean Brenda? he sai d wi th such di sgust that Domi ni c sent hi m a look as powerful as a punch. He cleared hi s throat. You know second chances are rare. But not i mpossi ble. Improbable. But not i mpossi ble, he repeated. You should have seen her last ni ght. She was amazi ng and she di d i t all for me. She doesn t know i t yet, but she ll fi nd out soon enough. I don t mean to poke holes i n your theory, but have you consi dered that there could be someone else she s tryi ng to i mpress? There s nobody else. He paused, suddenly unsure. If there i s, he won t last long. She could just want your money. Brenda s not li ke that. It s as I told you. She s changed and I ve changed and i t s goi ng to work out for the two of us. I m goi ng to get my wi fe back. And my fi rst plan starts wi th fi xi ng her water heater. I want you to handle that for me. He opened a drawer, then placed an ad from the newspaper on the table. Make sure i t s the best and I want i t to be one of these. I want i t i nstalled i mmedi ately. See that i t happens. Thomas pasted on a smi le. You can trust me. Thomas stuffed the ad i n hi s pocket and swore as he walked to hi s car. He hated Brenda Everton. He had hated her ten years ago and he hated her even more now. Too much was at stake for her to get i n hi s way agai n. Before, when Domi ni c was just getti ng started, she d managed to confuse hi s pri ori ti es, maki ng hi m feel gui lty i f he mi ssed a couple di nners or thei r anni versary. He d been glad when she d cut Domi ni c free by gi vi ng hi m a di vorce. Fi nally, Domi ni c was all hi s and he d worked wi th hi m to make hi m the success he was today. It was hi s effort that had got them there and he wouldn t allow Brenda to get i n the way. She was messi ng wi th hi s plan. He was goi ng to make Ayers Corporati on even bi gger than i t was, and he couldn t have the presi dent and CEO flake out on hi m now, not over a woman. He had to get Brenda out of the pi cture.

Thomas pulled out the ad and stared at the li sted amount. Domi ni c was too generous. He d get her the water heater, but i t wouldn t cost thi s much. He called a fri end. I have a job for you. I want i t done qui ck and cheap.

Chapter 7 Do you thi nk thi s i s a joke? The voi ce on the phone

was female and angry. Brenda pulled the recei ver from her ear and stared at i t a moment, she d had a long day and di dn t want to deal wi th prank calls. She placed the phone agai nst her ear and demanded, Who i s thi s? Marci , and you haven t worn any of your new i tems to work. Busted. I di d wear the outfi t you suggested on my date. That was over a week ago. How do you know? I told you we have spi es. At least I wore i t. That s not good enough. You wanted to see your li fe change, but you have to change too. I m thi nki ng of putti ng i n a request to have some of your pri vi leges revoked. What pri vi leges? You won t know about them i f you don t get them. Now wai t, Brenda sai d, feeli ng hurt. Change takes ti me. You re wasti ng my ti me wi th your excuses. Tomorrow you re goi ng to start dressi ng as the new Brenda. If you don t, you ll be sorry when you hear from me agai n. She hung up. Brenda replaced the recei ver, annoyed. Marci could have gi ven her credi t for at least weari ng the sui t. But she di dn t want to get i n trouble agai n. She di dn t want to fai l. What am I supposed to wear to work? Brenda wondered as she stood looki ng at her closet. Never before had she seen so much color i n her wardrobe. She wasn t agai nst color. She li ked color on flowers, cars, houses, but not on herself. When she was i n art school, she wore pri mari ly black despi te the bri lli ant watercolors she loved to pai nt. She admi red the other students who could casually mi x and match. But wi th her hei ght, she stood out enough; she di dn t need or want to emphasi ze her presence. Last week had been a hecti c week and clothes hadn t been a pri ori ty, but at least she d gotten her water heater fi xed. Brenda frowned. There were too many choi ces and no Marci to help gui de her. Brenda stepped back and took a deep breath. She would create a color-coded system matchi ng all the i tems wi th each other.

I can do this. I dont want to hear from Marci again. Brenda worked i nto the eveni ng, creati ng a color-coded fashi on fi le. She translated her notes, detai li ng whi ch color went wi th whi ch basi c i tem, such as a ski rt, pants or jacket. Nothi ng i n her wardrobe was left out, i ncludi ng accessori es such as handbags, of whi ch she only had two, belts, scarves, whi ch she rarely wore, sweaters and shoes. She found shoes parti cularly challengi ng. Whi le she had agreed to select several pai rs wi th moderate heels, she wasn t sure she would feel comfortable weari ng them. Once she was fi ni shed, Brenda arranged the cards i n a large fi le box. Although she was exhausted, she felt accompli shed. No more anxi ety. She di dn t have to worry. She would always get an outfi t ri ght. Her sense of accompli shment dwi ndled when she looked at the fi ve leftover pi eces of clothi ng on her bed. They were i tems Marci had insisted she needed: a backless si lk halter top, a pai r of brown leather strai ghtlegged pants, a floor-length ball gown and a pi nk and black lace bra and panty set, whi ch had made her blush when Marci handed i t to her. Brenda deci ded to put them i n a large metal trunk she kept i n her basement. It was unli kely she would wear any of them anyway. She had never worn anythi ng li ke the backless halter top, and di d not plan to start now. As for the leather pants, they remi nded her of a gi rl she knew i n leather pants, they remi nded her of a gi rl she knew i n college who only wore short leather ski rts and ti ght leather pants, and probably hadn t kept them on very long. The floor-length ball gown seemed li ke a tri vi al i tem, although i t was gorgeous. She hadn t worn anythi ng li ke i t si nce attendi ng her hi gh school prom. Where would she wear somethi ng li ke that? Even when she was marri ed to Domi ni c, thei r schedule had always been busy and they never attended any event where such an extravagant outfi t would be needed. Last, but certai nly not least, whi le she was not one to be prudi sh, the two-pi ece panty set verged on ri squ. She d really have to trust Mr. Ideal before she wore i t for hi m. For work the next day, Brenda carefully selected a dark blue strai ght ski rt hi tti ng just above the knee, a fi tted longsleeved li ght gray shi rt touched off wi th a red leather belt, a

pai r of three-i nch dark blue sli ng back shoes, and a handpai nted pastel si lk scarf draped around her shoulder. She wore her hai r i n a ponytai l and put makeup on. Brenda looked at herself. She looked and felt fantasti c. Li fe was good. She had the money to fund her project and her water heater had been fi xed. She hadn t heard from Domi ni c, but that was probably best, she d been thi nki ng about hi m more than she should. She needed the di stance. It helped put everythi ng i nto perspecti ve. Wow, Chuck sai d when he saw her. Brenda stood at her bookshelf gi vi ng hi m a full vi ew of her new look. He d never seen her out of a lab coat. What s the occasi on? She shrugged and pushed a book back i n place. No speci al occasi on. When I left Madeli ne s funeral, I reali zed that I need to li ve now, not later. Sonya burst i nto the room. I heard about i t, but I had to see i t for myself and prove they weren t lyi ng. Sonya approached Brenda as though afrai d the i mage before her was an appari ti on that would di sappear. I can t beli eve i t. You re gorgeous. Have you ever modeled before? I m sure you could model now. Older models are i n now. Not that I m sayi ng you re old or anythi ng. I understand. You don t even look li ke you. You look li ke you should be standi ng on the edge of a mansi on wi th a pi a colada i n one hand. Not qui te. Or i n a boardroom wi th a room full of men and a whi pI mean poi nteri n one hand. Brenda repressed a laugh. Thank you. Someone knocked. She glanced at Chuck, then at Sonya amazed: she d never been so popular before. Come i n. Kendell entered. I have a gi ft for you He stopped and stared at her. Yes? she encouraged when he di dn t speak. He stepped back and looked at the si gn on the door. Sorry, I was looki ng for Dr. Everton. That would be me. Doesn t she look great? Sonya sai d. Kendell made a gurgli ng noi se i n hi s throat. Brenda folded her arms. You have somethi ng for me? He came out of hi s stupor. Ri ght. Yes, a gi ft card as a thank-you for your help. He held i t out as though offeri ng her roses. She took i t and rested i t on her desk. I was glad I could. He flashed a teasi ng gri n. I m sorry I can t ask you for any more favors. Why not? My wi fe mi ght get jealous. Brenda rai sed her eyebrows i n mock censure. Careful,

Dr. Baldwi n. I saw her fi rst, Chuck sai d. You re marri ed. So are you. Brenda rai sed her hands and laughed, flattered by the attenti on. That s enough, you two. We came here to work and that s what I plan to do. But she di dn t get much of an opportuni ty. Her new look brought her a fleet of male admi rers. She welcomed the attenti on, hopi ng her i deal man was hi dden among them. In only one week she had gotten three offers of marri age from complete strangers, had her lunch and breakfast, whi ch she usually ate i n the cafeteri a, pai d for the enti re week by an unknown admi rer, and had two dozen roses deli vered to her offi ce by someone named Romeo. Bei ng practi cal, Brenda di d not follow up on any of them. Her i deal man would not be so uncreati ve or secreti ve. He would be bold and speak to her di rectly. He would not send her flowers anonymously or propose marri age, based solely on lust. Lust was fi ne, but not for the long term. It had gotten her i n trouble before. She d know hi m once she met hi m. A week later Chuck came to her offi ce and asked, Have you been able to secure the fundi ng we wi ll need? Brenda hesi tated, she hadn t heard from Domi ni c but knew she could trust hi m. Yes. I spoke to an i ndi vi dual wi lli ng to provi de us wi th fundi ng to complete the project. Who? He prefers to remai n anonymous. She di dn t know i f he di d, but si nce i t was up to her, he would. That s great, I can t wai t to tell the team. Not just yet. I prefer to wai t unti l I ve si gned the papers and the money i s i n the bank. By the way, as part of the fundi ng, I added a new posi ti on so that you wi ll have someone to help you. You have never complai ned about all the ti me you have put i n and I am grateful for your dedi cati on and commi tment, but you have a fami ly. Wi th an assi stant, you wi ll be able to spend more ti me wi th them and you ll be i n charge of hi ri ng hi m or her. He stared at her wi th hope. Does thi s mean? Yes, you ve been promoted. I knew today was my lucky day. Now everythi ng i s perfect. There s nothi ng to worry about. He left. But he was wrong. Everythi ng wasn t perfect. Another week passed and she sti ll hadn t heard from Domi ni c. Brenda remi nded herself that he wouldn t let her down, but as the days passed she started to worry. What i f he d forgotten hi s promi se? What i f he di dn t reali ze how desperate she was? What about the i llustrati ons she was supposed to do for hi m? Part of her had looked forward to the project. Had i t just been a ploy? She hated bei ng

di sappoi nted. Brenda thought about buyi ng another package of ci garettes, then thought of somethi ng better: work. Work always kept her mi nd occupi ed. It had saved her sani ty through her di vorce and i t would save her now. She wasn t li ke Madeli ne, she assured herself. She wasn t depressed and she d never take her own li fe. But she wouldn t be put on hold ei ther, not for a man and defi ni tely not for Domi ni c. Wai ti ng pati ently was never a strong trai t of hers. She would work hard and when she worked hard she expected others to do the same. I need the fi nal report next week, she told Chuck a few days later. Wi ll you be able to complete i t by then? She di d not look up from her desk so she couldn t see hi s nod and the odd way he looked at her. Yes, he sai d. Can you please schedule a meeti ng for me wi th Dr. Ramsey for Thursday, and make an appoi ntment wi th the sci enti fi c supply company i n Tacoma? I d li ke you and me to go and look for some new equi pment. Brenda? Chuck sai d. Yes. We have a problem. That caught her attenti on and she looked at hi m. What i s i t? You. She set her pen down. Me? We d all hoped that the new look meant you had a new vi ew of li fe, but you re worki ng harder than before. No, I m not, she sai d, i nsulted. I m exci ted about all we ve been able to accompli sh. Chuck stared at her, seei ng through her li e. I care about you. What s wrong? Nothi ng. You haven t been yourself si nce Madeli ne s death. She took a deep breath before her temper got the better of her. Thi s has nothi ng to do wi th Madeli ne. So she di ed that was her choi ce. I m not li ke her. We were fri ends, not twi ns. I m not prone to the same depressed di sposi ti on she was prone to. I wi sh people would leave me alone. Somethi ng s botheri ng you and i t s affecti ng the project. I thought the project was progressi ng well. The project i s, but we re not. The team s morale i s low. You have been goi ng non-stop and pushi ng us non-stop too. You want thi s and that, you are goi ng here and there, you ll burn out. But we wi ll probably burn out before you do. Chuck Take a week off. Brenda stared at hi m, stunned. What? Take the week off. Brenda sat speechless. Who was he to talk to her li ke

that? She was the boss and he was the man who crumbled i n a cri si s. She opened her mouth to protest, then reali zed the courage i t took for hi m to stand up to her. She shrugged, resi gned. She di dn t want to do anythi ng to jeopardi ze the project at thi s stage. Fi ne. Hi s tone softened. You need i t. Although she knew he cared, she felt betrayed and di dn t look at hi m when she left.

Chapter 8 She di dn t remember hi s name and she di dn t care

anymore. Two days ago she had been certai n she d fi nally met Mr. Ri ght, but now she knew she hadn t. Brenda sat i n Sam s Coffee House stari ng at the man i n front of her, tryi ng not to fall asleep. She d met hi m i n a bookstore and he d seemed i nteresti ng when he d suggested they have coffee together. Unfortunately, the coffee wasn t strong enough to keep her awake. Over the last few days she d learned a lot about herself. She di dn t li ke the bar scene, concerts were too long, cocktai ls too shallow and the Internet too i mpersonal. At least at a bookstore she d meet someone i ntelli gentor so she thought. What s Hi s Name was tall, clever, good looki ng i n a clean cut sort of way, and about as exci ti ng as dry wheat toast. Brenda had hoped he would be a ni ce di versi on. She d fi gured coffee could lead to lunch, whi ch could lead to di nner, whi ch could eventually lead to breakfast. Now she wi shed she could just lead hi m to the door. Methods of escape fi lled her i magi nati on. She glanced around, wonderi ng i f she could fi nd a fami li ar face and pretend that she had to speak wi th them. Her gaze fell on Frankli n as he stood at the counter. She qui ckly glanced away wi th a ti ny shi ver. Anyone but hi m. However, after several mi nutes of desperately searchi ng for an alternati ve, she knew she had no other choi ce and i nwardly groaned, resi gned. He d have to be her rescuer. She watched hi m wi th hi s coffee and bi scotti and saw hi m stuff hi s change i nto hi s jacket pocket. In a few seconds he would leave. Thi s was her only chance. Brenda jumped up. I m sorry, she sai d to her compani on. There s someone I have to speak to. She poi nted to Frankli n. It s i mportant. Great to see you agai n. Talk to you soon. She rushed over to Frankli n. Oh there you are. I ve been looki ng for you. Frankli n looked at her, confused. What? To her horror What s Hi s Name followed her and sai d, Do you really have to leave so soon? I could wai t.

No. She sli d her arm through Frankli n s, i gnori ng hi s startled look. We have a bi g compli cated project to di scuss. I m very sorry to leave you li ke thi s. He smi led wi th understandi ng. I ll see you around. Not if Im hiding. Yes. She sei zed Frankli n s arm and dragged hi m toward the door. Don t ask questi ons, she sai d i n a low voi ce. Just keep walki ng. She rai sed her voi ce so the other man could hear. Now what was i t that we needed to di scuss? Frankli n went along and followed her outsi de, then sai d, What was that all about? She released her grasp. An error i n judgment. Have you thought about my questi on? It s sti ll no. The man came out. I forgot to ask you for your phone number. Brenda grabbed Frankli n s arm agai n and smi led. UmmI m i n the process of havi ng i t changed. He handed her hi s card. Perhaps we could get together someti me. She glanced down at i t, her mi nd searchi ng for an excuse. At least she now remembered hi s name: Wallace. Well That s not possi ble, a cool, male voi ce cut i n. They spun around. Domi ni c stood faci ng them. Why not? Wallace asked, affronted. Domi ni c approached them. He looked casual, but Brenda saw the darkness i n hi s eyes. Fury lurked behi nd hi s calm demeanor and he looked very much the avengi ng outlaw. Because she s wi th me. Wallace sent her an accusatory look. You di dn t tell me you were seei ng anyone. Because I m not, she sai d shooti ng Domi ni c a fi erce glare. He had no ri ght to come and clai m her li ke thi s. Domi ni c hooked hi s fi ngers i n the belt hooks of hi s jeans. You are now. Thi s i s none of your busi ness, Ayers, Frankli n sai d, putti ng a possessi ve hand on Brenda s. She resi sted the urge to yank i t away. Domi ni c noti ced the hands and hi s gaze darkened to onyx. But i t i s. Brenda shook her head, alarmed and exasperated. Thi ngs could get ugly i f she wasn t careful. Domi ni c, you can t come here and thi nk you can He i gnored her, hi s gaze fi xed on Frankli n. Take your hand off her. Frankli n stroked her hand. She doesn t seem to mi nd where i t i s. Domi ni c made a qui ck, dangerous move forward. Brenda stopped hi m wi th her free hand, he felt li ke soli d rock. Thi s i s ri di culous. She pulled free from Frankli n. I m

goi ng home. She walked to her car. The three men followed. Wallace sai d, You di dn t gi ve me your number. Frankli n sai d, I sti ll want you to thi nk thi ngs over. Domi ni c cut i n front of her. I want to talk to you. She halted and glared up at hi m. Four weeks of wai ti ng to hear from hi m made her tone extra vi tri oli c. I don t want to talk to you. She then turned to Frankli n. And I ve told you my answer i s no. She fi nally looked at Wallace. Thank you for the coffee, but I ve deci ded to stop seei ng men for a whi le. Brenda then got i n her car and drove off. It took her only a couple mi les to reali ze she was bei ng followed. In the di m li ght she couldn t see the dri ver, but she knew i t was Domi ni c. He was tryi ng to i nti mi date her, but she wouldn t let hi m. The best way to handle hi m was to i gnore hi m. She pulled i nto her dri veway and parked, then walked i nsi de her house. She changed i nto somethi ng comfortable, ate some leftovers, then looked through the wi ndow to check her dri veway. Hi s car sti ll sat there li ke a large, dark presence. She wrote some bi lls, watched a si tcom and then checked outsi de agai n. The car hadn t moved. Fueled by anger, and knowi ng that he would stubbornly si t i n the cold all ni ght unti l she let hi m i n, Brenda grabbed her jacket, marched up to the car and pounded on the wi ndow. It slowly rolled down. Get i n the house, she ordered, then spun away. She could hear the gri n i n hi s voi ce when he sai d, Thought you d never ask. Once i nsi de Domi ni c casually removed hi s coat, then sat i n the li vi ng room. Ni ce place. Brenda di dn t care for compli ments. What are you doi ng here? I wanted to make sure you made i t home safely. You wanted to make sure I made i t home alone. He nodded. That too. She sat across from hi m and crossed her legs. She watched hi s gaze di p to her legs and she i nwardly gri nned. Go ahead and look at what youll never get. She had forgotten that she was weari ng the sensual lounge wear Marci had selected. You don t need to wai t to have a man to wear these, Marci had sai d. Whenever you re stressed, or just want to enjoy and acknowledge your womanhood, wear i t. She was glad she had, although she hadn t expected company, and di dn t mi nd hi m seei ng i t. She di dn t try to cover up how the front di pped low showi ng her cleavage or how i t fell away from her thi gh. But hi s gaze di dn t waver and soon became as i nti mate as a caress. Brenda deci ded to cover her thi gh and fold her arms over her chest. What do you want?

Hi s smolderi ng gaze left her body and met her eyes. So thi s i s the greeti ng I get on my return? Your hand on Frankli n s arm whi le fli rti ng wi th another man? My acti vi ti es are none of your busi ness. You know i t s my busi ness because you know my i ntenti ons. Your i ntenti ons mean nothi ng to me. You don t beli eve a man can change? A man can try, but whether he i s successful or not wi ll take ti me to fi gure out. So you see no hope for me? he sai d i n di sbeli ef. What s changed? You re just li ke before. I sai d I d get back to you. Four weeks later? Her voi ce cracked. You always kept me wai ti ng. You always gave all your attenti on to other people and I got what was left over. I want a man who wi ll gi ve me all of hi s attenti on. You d grow bored wi th a man who fawned all over you. I d have fun fi ndi ng out. Then di vorce hi m when he s not up to standard. We di vorced each other. You di d i t wi th your travel and long ni ghts. I di d i t wi th papers. I made i t offi ci al so our marri age wasn t a complete mockery. Our marri age was real, he shouted. You just di dn t thi nk i t was perfect enough. It di dn t fi t your systemati c analysi s so i t was a project you deci ded to abandon. Abandon? Half the ti me you di dn t even know I was there. I ve admi tted I wasn t always there for you, but I ve told you I ve changed. How have you changed? A promi se of seducti on and then four weeks of nothi ng. Suddenly you show up agai n and expect me to be there for you. I di dn t reali ze you hated me thi s much, he sai d wi th pai n. I don t hate you, she sai d, surpri sed he used such a harsh word. Then what about the postcards? Di dn t they mean anythi ng to you? What postcards? The ones I sent you every week. I also e-mai led the manuscri pt for the book so we could di scuss whi ch i llustrati ons would work when I returned. She sat back bewi ldered. I don t know what you re talki ng about. I di dn t recei ve anythi ng. But I He shook hi s head wi th frustrati on. I don t understand. Brenda felt her anger di e as she reali zed the magni tude of hi s words. You sent me somethi ng every week? Yes. What di d you say?

He shrugged and looked a li ttle embarrassed. They were just a few li nes. Nothi ng i nteresti ng. Tell me anyway. Okay. He stared at the ground. Umone sai d Thi s place has more rai n than Seattle, hope you re keepi ng dry. He rubbed the back of hi s neck and glanced at her, unsure. Go on, she urged. Another sai d how bori ng my meeti ng was and how much I looked forward to worki ng wi th you. The last one sai d Comi ng home. He shook hi s head. I mean Comi ng back soon. Looki ng forward to talki ng to you. I m sorry I di dn t recei ve them, Brenda sai d softly. She remembered that he used to do that at the begi nni ng of thei r marri age, although they were rarely apart back then. Whenever he traveled he sent a postcard, but as the years passed they stopped comi ng, and he was away most of the ti me. And nobody called you? Domi ni c asked, sti ll amazed. She shook her head. It doesn t make sense. It s not li ke Thomas not to follow i nstructi ons. Di d you get the water heater i nstalled? Yes, thank you. It must have been a mi sunderstandi ng. I speci fi cally told hi m that I wanted you to know where I was and what I was up to. She smi led. That was ni ce of you. I wasn t tryi ng to be ni ce. He sat besi de her. I told you thi ngs wi ll be di fferent thi s ti me. Domi ni c pulled her to hi m and ki ssed her. Hi s ki ss remi nded her of powdered sugar. She d had some on her li ps the fi rst ti me they d ki ssed and he d used i t as an excuse, he di dn t need one after that. She welcomed hi s ki ss as the desert sands welcome a breeze. Hi s li ps remi nded her of warm Hawai i an beaches where they d celebrated thei r honeymoon, late ni ght showers, early morni ng qui cki es and tangled sheets. There was somethi ng both safe and fami li ar yet dangerous and strange about hi m. He d once been her husband but three years had made them strangers. She pushed hi m away, hi s ki ss burni ng her li ps and her heart beati ng li ke thunder. She stood. No, we can t do thi s agai n. He stood too. Do what agai n? Feel? You know enough about sci ence to know that certai n elements are drawn to each other because they have to be together. We are not si ngle-cell organi sms. We are rati onal human bei ngs gi ven the pri vi lege of choi ce and I won t do thi s agai n. She turned away. He came up behi nd her and whi spered, Why resi st what your body tells you i s ri ght? Hi s voi ce was warm agai nst her neck, maki ng her ski n pri ckle wi th pleasure. You know

that no other man makes you feel thi s way. She faced hi m determi ned to resi st what her body told her was ri ght. You possessed me once, but you wi ll not do so agai n. You re already mi ne. He playfully tapped her nose. Try not to thi nk about me toni ght. She brushed hi s fi nger away. I ll thi nk of you as a warni ng never to trust my heart agai n. He lowered hi s gaze. I may have broken your heart. He li fted hi s gaze. But you re the one who ri pped i t out and crushed i t wi th your sense of ri ght and wrong and unyi eldi ng judgment. I m goi ng to gi ve you back your heart and make you whole agai n. Why don t you just gi ve me yours? Hi s gaze clung to hers. Because I d never trust you wi th i t. No, you never di d. Hi s face eased i nto an i ndulgent smi le. You can t hurt me, Brenda, and you won t get ri d of me thi s ti me. I know. I di dn t ask for your money wi thout knowi ng you d be a techni cali ty. Hi s smi le became devi ous. It s not wi se to make me angry when I haven t gi ven you any money yet. Then go ahead. Don t gi ve i t to me, i t wi ll only confi rm the ruthless si de of your nature I know exi sts. Do I need your money? Yes. Does that make me vulnerable? Yes. Wi ll I allow you to use that vulnerabi li ty to control and humi li ate me? No. He stared at her amazed. You thi nk I want to humi li ate you? You ve never forgi ven me for di vorci ng you. Your pri de took a di rect hi t. I know you re tryi ng to puni sh me for that. He lowered hi s voi ce i n pi ty. How sad. I thought your new look meant somethi ng but you haven t changed at all. You re sti ll fi ghti ng battles that don t need to be fought. Have you ever thought, just for once, that I di dn t want a di vorce because marri age meant somethi ng to me? And that I m here now because I want you back. I won t come back. Then we ll go forward. Thi s i s our second chance and I m goi ng to sei ze i t and one day when you open your eyes you wi ll too. He grabbed hi s jacket and headed for the door. I ll have the money deposi ted i nto your account and I wi ll send you the manuscri pt and talk to you later. Next month perhaps? He pulled her to hi m and smothered her mouth wi th a ki ss that left her breathless. When he drew away hi s voi ce shook from a barely controlled emoti on she couldn t understand. Remember that and don t let me see your hand on Frankli n s arm agai n. He slammed the door.

Anger radi ated through hi s calm demeanor as Domi ni c returned to hi s car. He d returned to the ci ty looki ng forward to seei ng Brenda agai n. He hadn t expected her to fall i nto hi s arms, but he defi ni tely hadn t been prepared to see her hand on Frankli n s arm as she flashed a coy smi le at another man. He had struggled hard to stop the urge to knock the two men s heads together. Brenda was hi s. He hadn t sent her postcards and hi s manuscri pt just so she could toy wi th hi m. He d never be anyone s toy. He d followed her home because he wasn t goi ng to allow her to di smi ss hi m as she had the others. Si tti ng i n the car only let hi s anger grow, but i t warmed hi m as the cold ai r seeped i n. When she d fi nally i nvi ted hi m i nsi de he was ready to unleash hi s fury, only to be met wi th her own fury. And i n an i nstant hi s anger turned i nto di sbeli ef. She hadn t recei ved any of hi s mai l. Sergeant greeted hi m when Domi ni c made i t home that eveni ng. Oh, you re back, Shei la sai d when she saw hi m. I made you your favori te. He patted hi s dog. I m not hungry, he snapped, then saw her face fall and softened hi s tone. Thanks. I ll eat i t later. He went i nto hi s bedroom and sat on the bed wi thout turni ng on the li ghts. Sergeant sat and stared up at hi m. I m all ri ght, Domi ni c told the dog, stroki ng i ts head. Just di sappoi nted. He d dri ven strai ght from the ai rport to Brenda s offi ce, eager to see how much leeway he d made wi th her. When Chuck told hi m she d taken ti me off, he d been di sappoi nted because he d told her when he was returni ng. Seei ng her outsi de the coffee shop had been an acci dent, but then agai n maybe i t was meant to be. He looked at the bri ght red letters of hi s clock. He wai ted unti l late before he called Thomas. The ri ngi ng phone startled Thomas out of bed. He groped for i t i n the blackness of early morni ng, then pi cked i t up. Hello? What happened? a dark voi ce sai d over the li ne. Thomas i nstantly knew whom i t belonged to. What do you mean? Brenda di dn t know I was away. I thought I told you to tell her. He could feel Natali e waki ng up besi de hi m and lowered hi s voi ce. I di d tell her. But she sai d you di dn t. Look, who are you goi ng to beli eve? A bi tter ex-wi fe or me? Your cousi n and manager? Have I ever let you down? She probably li ed just to put you on your guard. Si lence greeted hi m. Domi ni c? he sai d, wonderi ng i f the phone had gone dead.

Brenda doesn t li e, he sai d, causi ng goose bumps to form on Thomas s arm. Thomas swallowed and turned on the li ghts, bli nki ng agai nst the shi ne. Wrong strategy. He wouldn t attack her character. He had to thi nk fast and come up wi th another reason. Maybe she just forgot. It s been a busy week and i t was a short conversati on. He swi tched the topi c, hopi ng to di stract Domi ni c. How does she li ke the water heater? She s very pleased. See? I told you I d come through for you. It was just a li ttle mi x up. And i t won t happen agai n? No. Hmm. Domi ni c paused, then sai d, How s the studi o comi ng? The studi o i s fi ne. I ve found a great locati on for her. Good. The li ne went dead. Thomas hung up, then fell back on the pi llow. Natali e sat up. What was that about? Domi ni c was confused about somethi ng. What? Just somethi ng, he snapped. It doesn t matter now. He asked about the studi o space? Natali e asked unfazed by hi s i rri tati on. That s ri ght. Where? What do you care? I m just curi ous, she sai d i n a small voi ce. He saw no harm i n telli ng her and fi lled her i n on where i t was located. You can t put her there, she sai d horri fi ed. That place i s a dump. He sat up and shrugged. She ll get used to i t. Arti sts li ke places li ke that. She ll blame Domi ni c. And he ll blame you. No, he won t. I ll tell hi m that s all I could fi nd on such a short noti ce. Thomas I know what I m doi ng, he sai d wi th a smug smi le. I ve done i t before. But Are you hi s manager or what? I m the one who s gotten hi m thi s far. You got your job because of me. Don t fool yourself i nto thi nki ng you mean more than that. We both know that before me you were only quali fi ed i n how to spend your father s money. Don t put your pretty nose where i t doesn t belong. Brenda s a gold di gger. I don t thi nk she s a gold di gger. She s not good for hi m and Domi ni c needs to see that. I m helpi ng to make hi s vi si on clear. Thomas turned off the li ght and fell back to sleep.

Natali e stared at the shadows on the wall.

Chapter 9 Cooki ng lessons! Brenda read her i nstructi ons agai n:

Schedule an appointment with Rania for a special cooking session. She set the paper down. She hated cooki ng. Why would she need to take lessons? If thi s was goi ng to be the way to fi ndi ng her i deal man, she was begi nni ng to doubt the Soci ety s clai m of a guarantee. Her lack of cooki ng ski lls was known to her fami ly and Domi ni c had never tasted i t. She d loved hi m too much to put hi m through that agony. Perhaps the Soci ety could work mi racles, thi ngs were goi ng well so far. She d gotten men s attenti on, i f thi s would i mprove her odds, she was up for the challenge. So she made an appoi ntment. Rani a arri ved on ti me that Saturday. Brenda di dn t know whom she d expected to arri ve, but i t wasn t a stri ki ng, fullfi gured dark-ski nned woman i n a cashmere coat and hi gh heels wi th her arms fi lled wi th groceri es. Put these i tems i n your refri gerator ri ght away, she sai d, handi ng Brenda two grocery bags. She followed Brenda i nsi de, then stopped and stared once she entered the ki tchen. Oh my. Brenda rested the bags on the counter. What? Thi s looks li ke a sci ence lab. Brenda took i t as a compli ment. She took pri de i n her ki tchen, although she never used i t to cook i n. It was orderly and i mmaculate, a masterpi ece i n desi gn. All of the appli ances were stai nless steel, she had a grani te countertop, a marble cutti ng block and a ki tchen i sland. The herbs and spi ces sat li ned up i n neat rows, each one clearly labeled. Rani a opened the cupboard. It s obvi ous you don t cook. How do you know? Easy. Hand me the salt. Salt? I don t have salt. How about the flour? No. Cooki ng spray? No. How about a ski llet? Okay, you ve made your poi nt. I di dn t know I was supposed to have those i tems. But, I can go to the store and get them. Rani a began unloadi ng the bag. You won t need to do that, Brenda. I came fully prepared. Do you have an apron? Yes. Actually, I have a total of ten.

Ten? Why ten? It s a li ttle fami ly joke. They love the i rony of someone li ke me havi ng an apron. I ll get one for each of us. Brenda reappeared wi th two brand-new aprons. Here, you can have thi s one. I li ke the one wi th the bi g pockets. And here s a box of latex gloves. She rested i t on the counter. Rani a frowned. Why do we need latex gloves? One of the thi ngs I hate about cooki ng i s touchi ng raw meat. I know that sounds odd for a sci enti st, but that s the way I am. And I hate getti ng flour stuck under my fi ngernai ls. So whenever I cook, whi ch i s basi cally never, I always wear gloves. Rani a watched i n amazement as Brenda carefully put on her gloves, as though prepari ng for a di ssecti on. Rani a si ghed, then put on her apron. Cooki ng i s li ke chemi stry. Si mply sci ence. That s why I m sure once you know the basi cs you ll enjoy i t. I don t i ntend to turn you i nto a chef, but the old adage, the way to a mans heart is through his stomach, holds more truth than we would li ke to thi nk. I am goi ng to show you how to prepare one complete meal i ncludi ng dessert, and I promi se you, by the end of the day, you wi ll be able to prepare i t yourself. Rani a bri efly went over the basi cs, then pulled out three large lami nated pi cture cards and placed them on the counter. Here are the reci pes wi th clear i nstructi ons. If you follow them step-by-step, nothi ng wi ll go wrong. Great. Brenda thought. Science she understood. Before begi nni ng any of the reci pes Brenda read each one, then organi zed each i ngredi ent i n groups on the cooki ng i sland. She used a yellow hi ghli ghter to emphasi ze the measurements. She poi nted at one i nstructi on. What s thi s? Rani a looked. A pi nch of salt. What exactly i s a pi nch? It s small. I don t understand. What i s the uni t of measurement a pi nch of salt should be? Is i t li ke grams? Rani a grabbed a pi nch and put i t i n the bowl. It s li ke that. Oh. Could you show me agai n? Rani a took a deep breath. No. We re maki ng a basi c di sh. Shepherd s pi e, a si mple reci pe that consi sts of a layer of browned ground beef and a layer of mashed potatoes on top, baked i n the oven for approxi mately one hour at 350 degrees. Approxi mately? Does that mean less than one hour or more than one hour? It means approxi mately. You cannot set the oven ti mer on approxi mately. It s ei ther an hour or i t s not.

Rani a rubbed her forehead as though she had a headache. It s an hour. The sessi on went downhi ll from there. Brenda burnt the beef, setti ng off the fi re alarm; cut herself whi le peeli ng potatoes; washed the vegetables for nearly fi ve mi nutes, then cut them i nto uni form, bi te-si zed pi eces; demanded to know the di fference among vegetable oi l, canola oi l, oli ve oi l, corn oi l, and sesame oi l and then i nspected each strawberry to be used i n the dessert, throwi ng out any that looked brui sed or defecti ve. Rani a threw up her hands. Stop! What? The perfecti oni sm. The questi ons. It has to stop. What questi ons? Rani a mi mi cked Brenda s voi ce: How small should the potatoes be cut? Half an i nch or one i nch i n si ze? Are you sure thi s i s the ri ght ki nd of butter to use? What i f I don t mash the potatoes correctly? What does nonhydrogenated oi l mean? Brenda felt her face grow warm. I just want to understand. You do understand. You re afrai d of maki ng a mi stake and that s i mpossi ble. Mi stakes are part of learni ng. You re goi ng to do thi s qui ckly. Brenda froze. She never di d new thi ngs qui ckly. She hated the prospect of fai li ng at somethi ng. Growi ng up, she had succeeded at everythi ng she had ever done. She had been the valedi ctori an at her hi gh school, was on the Dean s li st throughout college and upon graduati on had won a hi ghly competi ti ve i nternati onal scholarshi p to study abroad for a year i n London i n a presti gi ous sci ence lab. But Rani a rushed her through the rest of the sessi on and i n the end the meal di dn t look as expected. Fortunately, i t tasted fi ne. Both Brenda and Rani a ate i t, surpri sed. Wow, Brenda sai d wi th renewed confi dence. I would never have thought of maki ng a di sh li ke thi s, she sai d, taki ng a second helpi ng of the pi e. When I go to vi si t my mother, I ll surpri se her by maki ng thi s. And others, Rani a sai d. Try to experi ment. Remember i t s not fatal to make mi stakes. The next day Domi ni c s manuscri pt arri ved i n her e-mai l and she pri nted i t out. She started readi ng, planni ng on just ski mmi ng a few pages, then getti ng to her laundry, but the depth and passi on of hi s prose capti vated her. She fi ni shed the book and set i t asi de, amazed. He always told her how he envi ed her abi li ty to draw, clai mi ng he couldn t draw a sti ck fi gure, but he could wri te. It was the same ski ll that kept people entranced around the world. She knew thi s book, li ke hi s others, would be a bestseller. She sti ll had hi s fi rst one. He d dedi cated i t to her and

si gned i t Wi th love. She hadn t looked at i t i n years, wonderi ng when she d be able to wi thout feeli ng any pai n. She li fted the manuscri pt agai n and ran her hand over hi s name, rememberi ng hi s fi rst effort at wri ti ng a book. She d come home from teachi ng and found hi m si tti ng i n front of the computer. So how i s i t comi ng? she asked. He glumly poi nted to the screen. She peered over hi s shoulder and saw one sentence. I can wri te papers, arti cles and lectures, but I don t know how to wri te a book, he sai d. She rested her hands on hi s shoulder and ki ssed hi m on the cheek. You don t have to. Just thi nk of i t as a presentati on. He shook hi s head. It s not the same. It i s the same. She gently shoved hi m from hi s seat. Move. Why? Because you re goi ng to di ctate. He reluctantly stood and Brenda took hi s seat and flexed her fi ngers. Okay, begi n. He folded hi s arms, uni mpressed. Thi s i s not goi ng to work. Yes i t wi ll. Tell me about She searched her mi nd, then gave hi m a subject. At fi rst hi s words were dull, then as he warmed to the topi c they became i nteresti ng and fresh. Soon he di dn t need her anymore. And over the followi ng months she learned to fall asleep to the sound of the keyboard. Then one eveni ng he crawled i n bed besi de her and ki ssed the back of her neck. I m done. She turned to hi m. Really? He drew down the strap of her ni ghtgown wi th i nti mate slowness. Yes, really. He placed a feather-li ght ki ss on her shoulder. All thanks to you. I can t take all the credi t, she sai d tryi ng to sound rati onal, although hi s mouth and fi ngers made her feel anythi ng but. He drew down the other strap wi th equal deli berati on. You can take most of i t. You di d all the hard work. She li cked her li ps and watched hi m uncertai n as he unbuttoned hi s shi rt. Domi ni c, what are you doi ng? He tossed hi s shi rt asi de and stared at her wi th i nnocence. I m getti ng ready for bed. You don t look li ke you re ready to sleep. He unbuttoned hi s trousers. I m not. I m planni ng to thank you. You don t need to thank me thi s much. You ve worked very hard and I m sure thi s book wi ll be a hi t. He took off hi s trousers and tossed them asi de also. I

don t care as long as you li ke i t. I ll li ke i t. I always li ke what you do. He began to smi le. Brenda noti ced the sensuous gleam i n hi s eyes and shook her head. Domi ni c, I have work tomorrow. No, you don t. You re not goi ng i n. A knowi ng gri n touched her mouth. I m not? No, you re calli ng i n si ck. Why? Because I m goi ng to keep you up all ni ght. He pulled down her ni ghtgown. And then I m goi ng to cook you breakfast and make love to you unti l lunch. Then you ll cook lunch? No, we ll order i n. He leaned toward her. She held hi m back. Tempti ng, but I have lots of work to do tomorrow. Wai t unti l the weekend. I don t want to. You have to. Brenda pulled up her ni ghtgown, jumped out of bed and headed for the door. I m sleepi ng i n the guest room. Domi ni c leaped up and wrapped an arm around her wai st, pulli ng her up agai nst hi m. You re not goi ng anywhere. We can t afford to lose work hours and He spun her around. Don t worry about the money. She si ghed wi th helpless frustrati on. Domi ni c One day I m goi ng to make so much money you won t have to teach anymore. You ll do all the research you want. I don t mi nd teachi ng. You hate i t. She shrugged. It pays the bi lls. Hi s jaw tensed and hi s gaze grew cool. You don t beli eve that I can She covered hi s mouth wi th her hand. Hi s expressi on may have fri ghtened someone else, but she knew hi m too well to ever fear hi m. He d only looked at her li ke that once before when he d di scussed hi s mother and hi s terri ble home li fe wi th her. She stared at hi m determi ned to erase that look from hi s face. I beli eve that you can accompli sh anythi ng you want. I know you haven t even reached all that you re goi ng to. She saw hi s gaze soften and smi led. She removed her hand, then ki ssed hi m. Now good ni ght. She turned to leave. I knew i t was a bri lli ant i dea. She stopped. What? Marryi ng you. One day you ll feel the same. I already do. Then spend the ni ght wi th me and let me take care of tomorrow. Trust me. Brenda bi t her li p, bri efly shut her eyes then looked at hi m feeli ng all of her resolve melt away. She removed her

ni ghtgown and let i t fall to the ground. I do. Domi ni c swung her i nto hi s arms and carri ed her to the bed. He gently eased her down on i t before coveri ng her body wi th hi s. The warmth of hi s hard flesh pressed agai nst her sent a pure and explosi ve sense of desi re cascadi ng over her. Soon she no longer wanted to talk. She was consumed wi th the pri mi ti ve need to feel hi m i nsi de her; to be one wi th hi m. Wi thi n moments passi on, desi re, promi ses, love surrounded them as strong and unrelenti ng as a tropi cal storm. And when the fi erceness of the storm threatened to ease, Brenda looked at Domi ni c and whi spered, Di d you really mean what you sai d? About what? Maki ng love to me all ni ght unti l breakfast? Domi ni c di dn t reply wi th words. However, he used hi s mouth to gi ve her hi s answer. The phone rang, jarri ng Brenda out of the past and forci ng her back to the present. Hello? Di d you li ke i t? Domi ni c asked. The sound of hi s voi ce made her body grow hot; for a moment the past mi ngled wi th the present as she tri ed to erase the i nti mate memory she d i ndulged i n. She took a deep, steadyi ng breath. It s very good. You used to thi nk my work was excellent. Ye s . I used to think everything about you was excellent. She undi d the button on her blouse, then tugged on i t to cool herself. You don t need my prai se anymore you have plenty of other people ready to stroke your ego. That s not why I asked you. I ve always valued your opi ni on. You know that. Hi s honesty touched her. I m honored to be a part of thi s book. I know i t s goi ng to be a hi t. Good. I m ready to get started. I sent you an e-mai l. I want us to meet Saturday. Okay. See you then. That Saturday Brenda stared at her closet and reali zed she hadn t worn her second pai r of stocki ngs yet. She d tri ed her fi rst pai r on Domi ni c, why not the second? She put on a pai r of stri ped gray stocki ngs, whi ch felt heavenly and added a bi t of danger to her legs, then selected a soft li megreen cashmere sweater dress. At fi rst she tri ed on a pai r of cranberry-red flats, but they di dn t work wi th the stocki ngs or the dress. Instead they looked festi ve and made her look li ke a holi day decorati on that only needed ti nsel. She exchanged the shoes for a more subdued pai r of two i nch dark brown pumps. She took a fi nal look. Practi cal and sexy, but not over the top. Fi tted but not too ti ght, and the green shade compli mented both her fi gure and ski n tone.

Brenda arri ved early at thei r meeti ng place. She spent most of the ti me i n the retai l store next door looki ng at the di splay case fi lled wi th hand blown pottery. She lost track of ti me as her arti sti c nature took hold and she di dn t mi nd late autumn s chi lly ai r. She loved thi s part of the town, but hadn t been there i n years. Her research project used up two hundred percent of her ti me. Over the years the area had changed consi derably and was now the hub of the vi sual art scene i n Seattle. Most of the bui ldi ngs had been renovated i nto arti sts lofts or pri vate, hi gh-pri ced condomi ni ums and apartments. Many years back, whi le attendi ng a street festi val i n the area wi th Madeli ne, they had taken the opportuni ty to vi si t wi th some of the arti sts. One man stood out wi th large glasses and a selecti on of gari sh, hand-pai nted ti es. They d bought one for Domi ni c and begun thei r ugly ti e tradi ti on. Brenda returned to the locati on Domi ni c had sent her. The bui ldi ng was a stately old bri ck structure ri ght on the waterfront. For a moment, Brenda remembered the hours she had spent worki ng on an oi l pai nti ng, or completi ng a watercolor. Duri ng college, her favori te pasti me had been sketchi ng the many beauti ful scenes Seattle provi ded. It wasn t called the Emerald Ci ty wi thout justi fi cati on. No matter what the season was, the majesti c evergreens provi ded breathtaki ng vi ews of the mountai ns and framed the waterways that surrounded the ci ty. And she remembered her fi rst studi o, a room Domi ni c had transformed i n thei r two-bedroom apartment. Unfortunately, when they moved to thei r house, her pri ori ti es had changed by then and the pai nts and easel had been exchanged for a desk, pens and a mi croscope. Sorry I m late, Domi ni c sai d, hi s breath comi ng out i n whi te puffs. That s all ri ght. She had seen hi m runni ng toward her. He paused as though he d expected her to be angry and di dn t know what to do because she wasn t. She saved hi m by sayi ng, I m cold. He took her hand. Then let s go i nsi de.

Chapter 10 Somethi ng was di fferent. He di dn t know what i t was, but

he could feel i t. Domi ni c kept movi ng forward, although hi s mi nd was i n chaos. He d been prepared for a sni de or sarcasti c comment about hi s bei ng late or for Brenda to yank her hand away from hi s, but she hadn t done anythi ng. At last he was maki ng progress. The studio better be good or hed serve Thomas to the wolves. He put the key i n the door and opened i t. He scanned

the room, then he looked at Brenda. Her response was all that mattered. She shook her head. It s too bi g. Hi s hopes fell. You don t li ke i t? She gri nned. I di dn t say that. All hi s tensi on eased. He watched her take off her coat and hang i t on the coatrack. She sai d somethi ng, but he di dn t hear her. He couldn t beli eve what she was weari ng; he noti ced where the zi pper was and knew that i n one qui ck moti on, he could have her out of i t. Domi ni c? He bli nked. Huh? Thi s place must cost you a fortune to rent. Rent? He d bought i t for her, but she d di scover that later. You re worki ng on my book and I always take care of anyone worki ng for me. He meant to goad her by hi nti ng that she was hi s employee, but she di dn t take the bai t. Yes, somethi ng was defi ni tely di fferent. Brenda knew Domi ni c expected her to argue, but she wouldn t. Instead she noti ced the rug and li ghti ng and the sofa bed. He d remembered how she used to work late at ni ght i nto the early morni ng and had a habi t of falli ng asleep i n her studi o. No, she wouldn t argue wi th hi m. She d come determi ned to make a deci si on and he d help her make i t. She looked out the wi ndow at the ri pple of waves ski ddi ng across the lake. Soon she would return home and i t would be another eveni ng wi th a TV di nner and a si tcom. She thought of Madeli ne and the Soci ety s oath. She di dn t have to fi nd her i deal man ri ght away. There would be no harm i n them bei ng together, at least through the empty wi nter months. It would be fun. They d always had fun together. And i ncredi ble sex. It was the marri age that had been a di saster. Domi ni c was a superb lover, unli ke her two former boyfri ends. They would always brag that they knew how to please any woman, before even taki ng off thei r clothes. Domi ni c knew the art of maki ng love to a woman. Each and every encounter was an experi ence that stayed wi th her for days. Hi s approach to lovemaki ng was enjoyable and uncensored, and always done playfully, unli ke one boyfri end who approached sex li ke a mechani c worki ng on a car. Every ti me they made love she wondered i f he d read an i nstructi on manual: First, pull the woman close to you and kiss the lips, then take your mouth down her neck and stop at the breasts. Caress them with your hands for a few seconds; twist the nipples as though trying to find a radio station for approximately one minute. Next move down to the hips and if she tries to give you any instructions as to what to do, ignore them. Just whisper in her ears, Relax, dont worry. I know what Im doing.

She shi vered at the memory. Wi th Domi ni c she never knew what to expect, whi ch always hei ghtened her sexual response. She mi ssed maki ng love to hi m. He d once fulfi lled her fantasy to make love i n thei r walk-i n closetno li ghts and no talki ng. Then there was the ti me when he gave her a blank book of coupons to wri te down her fantasi es. Thi s resulted i n thei r maki ng love three to four ti mes a week for two months. It couldnt hurt to be with him until her Mr. Right came along. So what do you thi nk? Domi ni c asked. She turned to hi m, her deci si on clear. She walked up to hi m and ki ssed hi m, then slowly began unbuttoni ng hi s shi rt. I ll thank you some more, unless you have to be somewhere toni ght. He di dn t move; hi s voi ce hoarse. No. Good. She ki ssed hi m agai n. He drew away and searched her eyes. You re not goi ng to regret thi s tomorrow, are you? If you make me stop, you re goi ng to regret i t ri ght now. She rai sed her mouth to ki ss hi m agai n, but he ki ssed her fi rst. Hi s mouth enveloped hers whi le hi s hands unzi pped her dress. It fell to a puddle at her feet. Brenda let out a moan of pleasure as hi s tongue caressed the i nsi de of her mouth. She pushed hi s shi rt off hi s shoulders. Tell me you want me, he sai d. Her hand di sappeared i nsi de hi s jeans. You tell me fi rst. He shut hi s eyes when she clasped hi m. I want you. She pulled down hi s jeans and arched i nto hi m. I want you too. Domi ni c removed the rest of hi s clothes and hers, then carri ed her to the sofa bed. He was ri ght, they were li ke two elements i rresi sti bly drawn together. When hi s bare flesh touched hers she thought she would shatter i nto pi eces. She was ali ve. And so was he. She di dn t reali ze how dead she d started to feel i nsi de, but not anymore. She rolled on top of hi m and i nvi ted hi m i nsi de her, knowi ng there was danger that he d sneak back i nto her heart agai n. She di dn t care. She di dn t care about consequences or ri ght and wrong. Ri ght now she felt pri mal she wasn t a creature of i ntellect, she was a creature of feeli ng and she d experi ence as much as she could. Dri ve me home, baby, he whi spered. You know how. She rocked agai nst hi m dri vi ng hi m i n and out unti l the frenzy between them rose to ecstasy. They changed posi ti ons, they ki ssed, they caressed, they made love unti l they fell away exhausted. Brenda stared up at the cei li ng wi th tears streami ng down her face. Domi ni c touched her cheek. What s thi s? I m happy to be ali ve.

Me too, honey. She tasted the salti ness of her tears. Poor Madeli ne. He tenderly brushed her tears asi de. Shh, don t thi nk about her. Let s just be here now. Together. Yes. She drew hi m close, wanti ng to be as near hi m as she could. Together. Thomas dropped the phone as though i t had just burned hi m and looked at Natali e as she read her book. Do you know who that was? She turned a page wi thout i nterest. No. He poi nted to the phone as though i t could come ali ve and bi te hi m. Domi ni c. He just gave me a holi day bonus. Why? Because of the studi o. He sai d everythi ng went better than he d hoped. How i s that possi ble? The locati on sucks, the place i s a dump. How could he be happy? I don t know, Natali e sai d, then li fted her book to hi de a smi le. The book i s real, Domi ni c sai d as he and Brenda lay on the bed i n the studi o. For the past three weeks they d made use of the studi o s sofa bed and nothi ng else. Brenda s head rested on hi s chest. I know. He placed a hand behi nd hi s head. We ve been comi ng here for a whi le and you haven t drawn a thi ng. It s hard to work i n the posi ti ons you force me i n. I don t force you, you li ke them. She rai sed her head. True. She brushed her li ps agai nst hi s, then rolled away. We have to get to work, he sai d, hi s arm outstretched and ready to pull her back i n close. I know. She sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at hi m. Thi nk you can keep your hands off me? Hi s fi ngers crawled up her back. No. She playfully removed hi s hand. You have to. He closed hi s eyes and groaned. Get dressed and I ll try my best. Brenda stood. You know I ve never tri ed drawi ng naked before. If you try that you won t be drawi ng at all. She laughed and began to change. She pulled on a pai r of jeans, a large T-shi rt and ti ed her hai r up wi th a ti e-dyed head scarf. I can t work whi le you re here, she sai d as she adjusted her scarf. I promi se to be qui et, Domi ni c sai d, hi s voi ce muffled as he pulled on a shi rt. No. I need to be on my own. He si ghed. You re probably ri ght. I know I m ri ght.

He gave her a bi g wet ki ss, then left. Brenda walked over to the drawi ng table and touched all the penci ls, brushes and charcoal, then she sat. I can do this. She pi cked up a speci men and placed i t down, then for the fi rst ti me i n years, she began to draw. In early wi nter Brenda surpri sed her team and busi ness associ ates by hosti ng a catered event held i n an i nti mate di ni ng room, on the top floor of one of Seattle s fi nest hotels. She looked stunni ng as she stood near the entrance talki ng to the guests. She held her hai r back wi th a sati n headband and wore a full-length, sleeveless pi nk si lk dress, wi th a scalloped neckli ne and a pai r of matchi ng low heeled pumps. A pai r of emerald earri ngs completed the ensemble. She di dn t reali ze the capti vati ng i mage she made. She was too busy worryi ng about the man watchi ng her from across the room and the last conversati on they d had. What do you mean I m not i nvi ted? Domi ni c sai d as Brenda checked her reflecti on i n her closet mi rror. He stood i n the doorway and watched her. She adjusted her hai r. You re not i nvi ted. Why not? Because thi s event i s about busi ness. I want to announce how we ve been funded, that s all. He sat on the bed exasperated. I m payi ng for a party I can t even attend? You re not payi ng for anythi ng. You wouldn t be able to have thi s party i f i t wasn t for me. She ki ssed hi m on the forehead. And I m very grateful. She looked at her reflecti on agai n. But I thi nk i t i s better that you remai n an anonymous i nvestor. And remai n the anonymous man i n your li fe. She turned to hi m wary. What do you mean? Don t thi nk I haven t noti ced that we don t go out together. We don t go to restaurants, or movi es or anywhere people may see us. We both have busy li ves. I thought you were happy. I am happy, he sai d. I m just maki ng a few observati ons. It s too soon. If you come wi th me, people wi ll start aski ng questi ons and I m not ready for them. There won t be any questi ons when people see us. The reason why we re together wi ll be obvi ous. He stood and rested hi s hands on her bare shoulders and stared at her reflecti on i n the mi rror, hi s voi ce soft. Do you honestly thi nk I d let you go out dressed li ke thi s wi thout a chaperone? I don t need a chaperone, she sai d i n a ti ght voi ce. Hi s dark eyes met hers. I m comi ng. You re not comi ng.

He came. Brenda smi led at her guests, determi ned to i gnore hi m, although i t was li ke tryi ng to i gnore a steak kni fe i n a bi rthday cake. She could feel hi s gaze and knew anyti me he moved about the room. He promi sed not to hi nt that they were a couple, but she worri ed that somehow thei r secret mi ght be revealed. Thi s i s a wonderful event, Chuck sai d, hi s face shi ny from too much champagne. Hi s wi fe Sandy, a small peti te woman, stood besi de hi m, her strong gri p keepi ng hi m steady. I m glad you li ke i t. She sent Chuck a look of censure. Just don t li ke i t too much and remember to eat somethi ng. We don t get out much, Sandy sai d wi th apology. Chuck shook hi s head. We don t get out at all. He leaned towards Brenda, hi s green eyes bri ght, but hi s tone sober. I noti ced Dr. Ayers i s here. Is there a reason for that? Damn, she was afrai d of that questi on. He s i nterested i n our research and I thought he could learn more by meeti ng the team. Chuck seemed sati sfi ed wi th her explanati on and turned around to look at Domi ni c. I could talk to hi m ri ght now. I don t thi nk now i s a good ti me. Sandy took her hi nt. Yes dear, I m hungry. Let s go to a table. She dragged Chuck away. After speaki ng to a few more people, Brenda approached the podi um. I m thri lled everyone could make i t toni ght. I wanted to have thi s event to honor youthose of you who are on thi s project and those of you who have supported us throughout the years. That i s why i t i s my honor to announce that our project has been funded for the next two years. A round of applause fi lled the room followed by congratulatory hugs and ki sses. Also, Dr. Lawson has been promoted and wi ll be hi ri ng an assi stant. More applause sounded. Chuck ducked hi s head i n embarrassment. Now I m not goi ng to keep you, Brenda sai d once the noi se di ed down. I just hope that you wi ll enjoy yourselves and keep up the good work. She stepped down and Kendell approached her. My wi fe was sorry she couldn t make i t. That s okay. I m glad you could. I had somethi ng I wanted to tell you, he sai d wi th exci tement. What? Dr. Frankli n has asked me to co-wri te a paper wi th hi m.

Brenda glanced down at her hands and searched for a reply. Are you sure you want to do that wi th your busy schedule? she asked i n a cauti ous tone. Are you ki ddi ng me? Thi s i s my chance. Thi nk of the opportuni ty. I get to have my name publi shed wi th someone establi shed. I can smell tenure. I just thi nk you should thi nk i t through. I have. I m goi ng to gi ve hi m my response next week. He frowned. I thought you d be happy for me. I am, Brenda sai d forci ng a smi le, not knowi ng how honest to be wi th hi m. Really. It s just I know you re worri ed about my schedule. Don t worry, I m doi ng better thi s quarter. Only three classes and a lab. That was sti ll qui te a load consi deri ng the other acti vi ti es he was i nvolved wi th, but she di dn t want to di sappoi nt hi m. Great. Good luck to you. She hugged hi m. He hugged her back, then ki ssed her on the cheek. Thanks and congratulati ons. Brenda watched hi m walk away wonderi ng i f she d led hi m to the slaughter. Who was that? Domi ni c sai d besi de her. She jumped, then sent hi m a wi theri ng glance. I told you to stay away from me. I have stayed away. I mean all eveni ng. He rested a hand on hi s chest. You re hurti ng my feeli ngs. I ll hurt a lot more i f you don t move. I love your threats. He bent down and whi spered i n her ear. They only exci te me. What do you want? He glanced at Kendell. Who i s that man? If you haven t noti ced he s too young for me. I di dn t noti ce. What I did noti ce i s that he made you look worri ed. I am, she sai d, reli eved to admi t the truth. Why? That s Dr. Baldwi n. He wants to wri te a paper wi th Frankli n. And you told hi m not to? No. Why not? Why are you protecti ng Fi nk? She hi t hi m i n the arm. Don t call hi m that i n publi c. No one can hear us. Besi des he should have been exposed years ago. It s not that easy. You re maki ng i t di ffi cult. It wi ll just look li ke I m jealous and tryi ng to pull down a well-respected sci enti st. He s done so much and so many years have passed. At least tell hi m, Domi ni c sai d looki ng i n Kendell s

di recti on. She rubbed her hands together, uncertai n. I can t. He mi ght not beli eve me. Want me to do i t for you? No, maybe Fi nkI mean Frankli nhas changed. Domi ni c looked unconvi nced. She di dn t blame hi m, she di dn t beli eve i t ei ther. I don t want to bri ng up the past i f I don t have to. Frankli n has helped a lot of careers and perhaps that s what he plans to do wi th Kendell. If thi s i s hi s chance I don t want to rui n i t for hi m. Domi ni c shook hi s head as he watched the younger man laughi ng wi th other guests. For hi s sake, I hope you re ri ght. Wi nter brought snow; spri ng brought rai n but Brenda and Domi ni c had li ttle else to worry them. They collected dri ftwood i n Ocean Shores, shopped at Pi ke Place Market, and spent as much ti me as they could hi ki ng i n the mountai ns and sai li ng. The book progressed well and thei r affai r even better, although as spri ng became summer fri cti on i n thei r perfect uni on started to show. I need a date, Domi ni c sai d, grabbi ng a dri nk from Brenda s refri gerator. She looked at hi m from her posi ti on at the ki tchen table where she was revi ewi ng two of Kendell s papers and a proposal for a book. Then get one. He sat down i n front of her. That s why I m aski ng you. I can t go. He leaned back and watched her wi th a hooded look. Yes, you can, he sai d qui etly. You just don t want to. No, I don t. Why not? I told you why before. He shook hi s head wi th frustrati on. Honey, we can t keep doi ng thi s. People are goi ng to have to know soon. Why not now? He reached out and covered her hand. Come wi th me. She pulled her hand away. No. Please don t ask me agai n. I don t care what anyone thi nks. Our li ves are none of thei r busi ness. If someone asks me about us I ll answer them, i f I want to. And i f I don t feel li ke i t, I won t. It s not a bi g deal to get back wi th your ex. It s a bi g deal to me. You dont know what its like to be in your shadow. Well, i t s ti me to get used to i t because I m not goi ng to start attendi ng a whole bunch of events alone because you don t want to be seen wi th me. In several months I ll be guest of honor at the Monahan Awards. I want you there. Is that an ulti matum?

No, i t s a choi ce. You ei ther go out wi th me or I announce our relati onshi p on TV. He stood and went to the li vi ng room. Brenda stared at her fri dge feeli ng trapped. She should end i t now. She d been wi th hi m for a lot longer than she d planned. Wi th hi m back i n her li fe she hadn t gi ven herself a chance to meet her i deal man. She had to be i n control of thi s. She wouldn t allow hi m to make demands. No matter how good i t felt she knew she would have to end the affai r soon and qui ckly, before anyone found out. Unfortunately, the next day, somebody di d.

Chapter 11 Clement! Brenda gaped at her brother as he stood on

her doorstep wonderi ng i f she should run i nto hi s arms or shut the door i n hi s face. He stared at her equally surpri sed. What the hell happened to you? What do you mean? He gestured to her leather pants and fi tted purple top. I came to check on you. You look di fferent. He couldn t stop stari ng at her. I deci ded to make a few changes i n my li fe. I can see that. He bli nked as though tryi ng to adjust hi s focus. You look great! And I ve deci ded to take a few chances. I m glad to hear i t. You can t stay safe all your li fe. Ri ght. She bi t her li p, her pleasure at seei ng hi m di sappeari ng i nto a sli ght pani c. There s somethi ng you should know. Clement li fted hi s sui tcase. Aren t you goi ng to let me i nsi de? Well, that something I want to tell you about i s i nsi de. Clement gri nned. You have a boyfri end. That s okay. I ll be very ni ce to hi m. He pushed past Brenda and set hi s sui tcase down i n the hallway. What does he do? Is he a sci enti st? She closed the door. No. You look nervous. Don t you want me to meet hi m? Well You have nothi ng to worry about. Even i f he s a dull taxi dermi st I ll pretend to be i nterested as long as he makes you happy. He does make me happy. Then that s all that matters. Clement walked toward the ki tchen. Where i s he? he asked, then stopped stunned when he spotted Domi ni c on the couch. What are you doi ng here? We re worki ng on a project together, Brenda sai d

qui ckly. Domi ni c sent her a look, but di dn t reply. Clement nodded. I see. I guess that s understandable. It s just busi ness. He walked i nto the ki tchen and grabbed a bottle of water, then went back to the li vi ng room and sat on the arm of the couch. So Domi ni c, what do you thi nk? About what? Brenda s new man. She s tryi ng to hi de hi m from me, but she ll have to i ntroduce us at some poi nt. Domi ni c watched Brenda, but she refused to meet hi s gaze. She doesn t have to. Why not? You ve already met hi m. Clement paused wi th the bottle to hi s li ps, then slowly set i t down. What do you mean? He turned to Brenda. What does he mean? Brenda lowered her gaze. Tell hi m, Brenda, or I wi ll, Domi ni c sai d. Brenda rai sed her gaze and looked at Clement, pleadi ng for hi m to understand. I m seei ng hi m. Seei ng who? Domi ni c. Clement slowly stood. I see. Excuse us, he sai d to Domi ni c, then grabbed Brenda s arm, dragged her i nto the nearest bedroom and slammed the door. Are you out of your mi nd? I can explai n. There s nothi ng to explai n! That man shouldn t be here. You re supposed to have a new man i n your li fe. Dammi t, I knew I should have come and seen you sooner. I knew you wouldn t have handled your fri end s death as well as I thought. Brenda sank onto the bed. I ve recovered from Madeli ne s death and I m happy. By seei ng your ex? By spendi ng ti me wi th the man who made you cry on more occasi ons than I can remember? He s changed. It s di fferent now. Clement threw up hi s hands. How? He s more consi derate. He li stens. We don t argue as much as we used to. If you re so pleased wi th your relati onshi p wi th hi m, why di dn t you tell me about i t? My schedule s been busy. You re lyi ng to me because you re ashamed and you should be ashamed. Why should I be ashamed? Because you know i t s wrong and you re doi ng i t anyway. I mean look at you. Thi s whole thi ng i s obvi ously about sex. You know there s nothi ng else to keep you together. That s not fai r.

Di d he ask you to dress li ke that? What s wrong wi th thi s? I wanted to be sexy today. Someti mes I want to be demure; someti mes I want to be plai n. But I dress thi s way to please myself and you have no ri ght to judge me. So are you goi ng to marry hi m agai n? She headed for the door. He blocked her. Are you? No. So i t i s just sex. Brenda narrowed her gaze. And what i f i t i s? Does that make me a bad person? Is i t wrong to want to have someone warm to go to sleep wi th and wake up to? Someone to travel wi th on weekends, someone to call when the workday i s long? Clement stared at her appalled. You re falli ng i n love wi th hi m agai n. She stepped back from hi m. No, I m not. But i t s seri ous between you, I can tell. We re just havi ng fun. You don t know how to have thi s ki nd of fun. Clement grabbed her shoulders. He s wrong for you, Brenda. She yanked free from hi m. You hardly even know hi m. When we got marri ed you were barely out of hi gh school. I sti ll remember hi m and he doesn t look li ke he s changed. I thought you were ready for somethi ng di fferent i n your li fe. I am. Then fi nd someone else. He opened the door and left. Brenda remai ned i n the bedroom, tryi ng hard to regai n control of her emoti ons. She wasn t falli ng i n love wi th Domi ni c agai n. Why di d Clement have to come and rui n thi ngs? No, she wouldn t let hi m. She had a good thi ng goi ng and she would end i t when she wanted to, not because someone else told her to. She took a deep breath, then walked i nto the li vi ng room. She saw Clement and Domi ni c si tti ng on opposi te ends of the couch. The two men were opposi tes i n many ways. Domi ni c was older, bi gger and more domi nati ng than Clement and made the younger man look almost boyi sh i n compari son. So what s the verdi ct? Domi ni c asked. Brenda sat i n an armchai r. Verdi ct? Are you goi ng to ask hi m to leave or are you goi ng to ask me to leave? I m not goi ng to ask anyone to leave. So that li ttle pri vate shouti ng match you had wasn t about me? We weren t shouti ng, Brenda sai d. Domi ni c rai sed hi s brows. We were just talki ng loudly, she added lamely.

Domi ni c turned to Clement. You don t li ke me. He di dn t say that, Brenda sai d. Domi ni c i gnored her. And you don t trust me. Brenda shook her head. He di dn t say that ei ther. Domi ni c glanced up as though searchi ng for somethi ng. There seems to be an annoyi ng mosqui to i n the room. Hi s stern gaze landed on her. She bi t her li p. Domi ni c stood and sai d to Clement, Let s go outsi de. Brenda jumped to her feet. Okay. Not you. Just us. He gestured to the pati o. You fi rst. Clement sent hi m a wary look but nodded and headed to the back. Brenda grabbed Domi ni c s arm before he could follow. What are you goi ng to do? I m just goi ng to talk to hi m. Promi se? He looked at her, stunned. What do you think I m goi ng to do to hi m? I don t know, she sai d, helpless. You could lose your temper. He folded hi s arms. I m starti ng to lose i t ri ght now. Just li sten to what he has to say. He only worri es because he cares about me. For a moment he studi ed her, then sai d qui etly, And you thi nk he s the only one? He di dn t gi ve her a chance to answer. He walked to the pati o and closed the glass door behi nd hi m. At the sound of the door closi ng Clement turned and faced hi m as though prepared for a fi ght. Domi ni c si ghed and poi nted to a seat. Si t down. Why? Because I want to talk to you. I prefer to stand. Fi ne. Domi ni c took a seat and sat. I m glad you came. What do you mean? We couldn t keep our relati onshi p qui et much longer and now we don t have to. What s your game, Ayers? I suggest you take a seat because I m goi ng to tell you a story. I prefer to stand. Domi ni c sent hi m a hard look. It s goi ng to be a long story and you re goi ng to li sten to every word of i t. Clement reluctantly sat. Domi ni c gazed out at the water. I ran away from home when I was fi fteen. I know that. Domi ni c slanted hi m a fi erce glance. Clement settled back i n hi s seat. I m li steni ng. Li fe was never the same after my father left. Only three

months after he d gone my mother brought home Uncle Juli us. He wasn t my real uncle but that s what I was supposed to call hi m. Then other uncles followed, each worse than the last. But my mother wasn t parti cularshe li ked a man i n the house and as I got older, I got i n the way so I leftjust li ke my father had done. Domi ni c let out a deep si gh. I came to li ve wi th my aunt here i n Ameri ca i n hopes of a better li fe, he sai d wi th a bi tter gri n. I di scovered that my mother s si ster wasn t much di fferent from my mother, but at least I had an ally thi s ti me, my cousi n Thomas. We left hi s mother s house a couple years later. He worked whi le I went to school, then I worked whi le he went to school. We were determi ned to succeed and promi sed each other that we d stay bachelors. We d never get caught li ke the men trapped i n our mothers nets. He never di d. Clement stared at hi m confused. What does thi s have to do wi th Brenda? Nothi ng. It has to do wi th you. Me? Yes. I can always spot a man who i s runni ng away from somethi ng. Clement frowned. Runni ng away? Domi ni c nodded. Your showy di splay of concern for your si ster i s touchi ng, but that s not why you re here. What s goi ng on? Clement stared out i n the di stance. Domi ni c shrugged. Of course you don t have to tell me. I qui t my job. Okay, Domi ni c sai d, then wai ted. Brenda was always telli ng me that I should stand up to my boss and that I di dn t need to be bulli ed by hi m. One day I couldn t take i t anymore and left. And you have no other opti ons? He shook hi s head. A man doesn t go to hi s si ster i n hopes that she ll take care of hi m. Clement s jaw twi tched wi th anger. That s not why I m here. Domi ni c looked at hi m unmoved. Okay, he admi tted. Perhaps I had hoped she could help lead me i n the ri ght di recti on. She s always been good at that. What are you planni ng to do? I di dn t thi nk of anythi ng. I m goi ng to tell you what you re goi ng to do. You re goi ng to spend a couple of days wi th your si ster, as though nothi ng has happened. Then you re goi ng to return home and call me. I have a di vi si on i n Oregon and can fi nd you an excellent posi ti on i n our engi neeri ng di vi si on, but you have to promi se me to show up and work hard.

Clement stared at hi m i n wonder. Why would you help me? Domi ni c stood. I thi nk the reason s obvi ous, but i f you don t know you ll fi gure i t out. He opened the pati o doors. Brenda rushed up to them and sent Clement a nervous look. Is everythi ng all ri ght? Everythi ng i s fi ne, Domi ni c sai d. Brenda looked at Clement for reassurance and he smi led. Yeah, just li ke he sai d. Brenda clapped her hands together. Good, because I ve just had a great i dea. What? Tomorrow ni ght I m goi ng to cook both of you di nner.

Chapter 12 Is i t okay to be afrai d? Clement asked the next eveni ng

as he and Domi ni c faced each other as they sat at the di nner table. The table was elaborately set and they could hear Brenda hummi ng i n the ki tchen. I m sure i t wi ll be okay, Domi ni c sai d, not sure at all. Clement played wi th hi s fork. Should I ask her what she s maki ng? Do you want to be di sappoi nted? No. Then don t ask. She s been at i t for hours. Have you seen her? Domi ni c couldn t have helped seei ng her. After comi ng back from work, he d stepped i n the ki tchen and had seen Brenda weari ng a cri sp, black apron and gloves. All she needed was protecti ve eye gear and she d look li ke a blacksmi th i nstead of a chef. Yes, I saw her. He poi nted at Clement. But whatever she makes, we re goi ng to pretend to enjoy i t. No matter what? As much as we can. Brenda called out to them. It s almost ready. Both men groaned. Mi nutes later, Brenda came out wi th a casserole di sh, set i t on the table, then left. Clement and Domi ni c leaned forward and looked at i t. What the hell i s that? Clement whi spered. Damned i f I know. Clement li fted hi s fork to poke i t, but Domi ni c ki cked hi m and he set the fork down. Brenda returned wi th a bowl of vegetables. You don t have to wai t for me, she sai d i n a bri ght voi ce. Fi ll your plates. She set the bowl down, then left agai n. You fi rst, Clement sai d. Coward.

Clement held up hi s hands i n surrender. I admi t i t. Domi ni c took a deep breath, then pi cked up a spoon and cut i nto the casserole mi xture. It looks li ke i t has spi nach, pasta and cheese. Maybe i t s supposed to be lasagna. It doesn t look li ke lasagna, Clement sai d as he watched the mi xture fall on Domi ni c s plate. It doesn t look li ke anythi ng, Domi ni c sai d, putti ng the same mi xture i n front of Clement. But we re sti ll goi ng to eat i t. Brenda joi ned them at the table, her gloves and apron gone. Good, you ve fi lled your plates. Now eat up. Domi ni c pi cked up hi s fork. Clement watched i n mounti ng horror unti l Domi ni c sent hi m a warni ng glance and Clement hasti ly li fted hi s own. Domi ni c took a bi te, hopi ng he could stomach the enti re meal, then stopped. It tasted good. He took another bi te just to make sure. Thi s i s deli ci ous. Yes, Clement sai d, just as surpri sed. When di d you learn to cook? I ve been practi ci ng, Brenda sai d wi th pri de. It s a mi racle, Clement sai d, then wi nced when Domi ni c ki cked hi m i n the shi n. I mean amazi ng. Thank you. Are you sure you can t stay another day? Clement shook hi s head. No, I ve got to get a few thi ngs done. That s odd. You packed a lot of thi ngs for planni ng to stay a short whi le. Uhyes, wellI just came to check on you and I see you re doi ng well. Brenda smi led and looked down, mi ssi ng Domi ni c s nod of approval. That eveni ng Brenda i nvi ted Clement to see her studi o. She loved bei ng there and wanted to share i t wi th hi m. She loved the ambi ence, meeti ng the other arti sts i n the bui ldi ng, the smell of pai nt and turpenti ne, and the scent of sawdust comi ng from the woodcarver s studi o. She let Clement si t at her drawi ng table and showed hi m some of her i llustrati ons. These are amazi ng, he sai d. Why di dn t you pursue thi s li ne of work? You are a fabulous bi ologi cal i llustrator. You could make a lot of money, and wouldn t have to spend your ti me sweati ng all day i n a lab or searchi ng for fundi ng. I had wanted to pursue my art, but Mom di dn t approve. Mom doesn t approve of a lot of thi ngs. I know, but I understand. She wanted a career i n sci ence before she became a stay-at-home mom. She di dn t regret her deci si on, but encouraged me to pursue her passi on. Besi des, at that ti me, she di dn t see a future for me as an arti st. And you know how Dad i s. Yes. Clement si ghed. He doesn t li ke men who are too

soft and women who are too hard. Ri ght, he always told me that I shouldn t get too educated because men don t li ke women who aren t femi ni ne. Yet despi te them you pursued both sci ence and art. I know. Remember, by the ti me I graduated from hi gh school, Dad had left pri vate i ndustry and accepted a posi ti on as a vi si ti ng professor at the uni versi ty i n the sci ence department. Si nce I was the only one i n the fami ly i nterested i n the same fi eld as he was, he threw away hi s own advi ce regardi ng the role of a woman, and encouraged me. Throughout my undergraduate years, I got to do i llustrati ons for several of hi s colleagues and got pai d. Although he was proud of my talent, he was proudest of my accompli shment as a sci enti st. And so am I. That sti ll doesn t answer why you stopped drawi ng. She thought about her bri ef freelance career: the di sappoi ntments and struggle as she watched Domi ni c s career soar. It had forced her to face the fact that there were better arti sts than her out there. I just found somethi ng better to do. I guess I was wrong. About what? Domi ni c i s good for you i f he can bri ng you back to thi s. He gestured to the i ntri cate drawi ng. What di d he say to you on the pati o? He d ki ll me i f I told you and I m starti ng to li ke hi m. Really? Yes. He shoved hi s hands i n hi s pockets. I came up here to thi nk about a few thi ngs and I ve made a few deci si ons. I m leavi ng my job. She hugged hi m. That s wonderful. I knew you could do i t. What are you goi ng to do next? I ll tell you when thi ngs work out. I guess we re both maki ng changes i n our li ves. Yes. He li fted an i mage of Domi ni c Brenda had on her table. And someti mes i t s okay to go back to somethi ng fami li ar. One. Two. Three. Catch! Sonya threw her weddi ng bouquet to the crowd of eager women fi ghti ng for thei r chance to grab i t. Brenda stood to the si de, looki ng regal i n a turquoi se blue drop-wai st sheath dress, wi th a handpai nted si lk shawl depi cti ng an orchi d, a pai r of transparent three-i nch hi gh shoes and her thi rd pai r of stocki ngs: ultra sheer shi mmi ng gold thi gh-hi ghs. She watched the event i n amusement. The weddi ng had been everythi ng she d expected and more. The bri de and groom had wri tten thei r own vows, whi ch they sang to each other wi th the help of one of thei r fri ends playi ng a gui tar.

Brenda, and everyone there, was pleasantly surpri sed by the fact that they both could si ng. The color theme for Sonya s weddi ng was yellow and blue, and she d asked everyone to wear these colors. It was an outdoor weddi ng, held on the grounds of a hi stori cal estate. The chai rs and tables were decorated wi th flowers and ri bbons, and all the ladi es were gi ven whi te carnati ons, whi le the men were gi ven yellow ones. Sonya looked radi ant i n an exqui si te cream bri dal gown wi th an extremely long vei l. The groom wore a dark blue tuxedo tri mmed wi th gold. Lucki ly, the servi ce i tself was short, wi th only the sni ffles of Sonya s mother heard throughout. The recepti on was held di rectly afterwards and featured a li ve steel pan band. Brenda was i n no mood to dance, but enjoyed watchi ng others. Chuck tri ed several moves, and bowed out early i n the eveni ng. Several men tri ed hi tti ng on Brenda, most of them much younger than her, but she kept her di stance, as best as she could, by always havi ng somethi ng i n her hand and looki ng li ke she was eati ng. When Sonya saw Brenda, she i ntroduced her to her enti re fami ly as though she were a celebri ty. Eventually, Brenda was able to excuse herself and fi nd Chuck and other members of her team to mi ngle wi th. She remembered her weddi ng day. There hadn t been a bi g partyto her mother s di sappoi ntmentbecause they d gone to the Justi ce of the Peace. It had been her happi est moment. She d looked at Domi ni c and pledged her li fe to hi m and for a bri ef moment, as she saw the women fi ghti ng for the bouquet, she wi shed to have the chance to be a bri de once agai n. The shock of the reali zati on surpri sed her. Marri age had never been i n the forefront i n her mi nd unti l that moment. Could she marry agai n? Yes, her heart whi spered. She glanced around the room, looki ng at the avai lable men and felt nothi ng. Before, she would have been looki ng for her Ideal Man, but an i nner voi ce whi spered that she d already found hi m. He d been there all the ti me. It had been two months si nce Clement s vi si t and si nce then she and Domi ni c had gone out together and she d been able to handle bei ng i n hi s presence agai n. Yes, she could marry hi m. But what i f he never asked her? Would thi s affai r be enough for her? And i f he di d ask her, would she say yes? Could thi ngs be di fferent thi s ti me? Or would marri age change everythi ng as i t had before? Why di dn t you try for i t? a man sai d next to her. She turned and gasped i n horror. It was Wallace, the coffeehouse bore. What are you doi ng here? she asked. She d only meant to thi nk i t, but the words burst from her mouth.

Wallace smi led, assumi ng her surpri se meant she was glad to see hi m. I m a fri end of the groom. Poor Robert. I see. I ve been meani ng to talk to you agai n. I m sorry about how thi ngs ended the last ti me we saw each other. I thought i t was fi ne. He looked hopeful. You mean you di dn t mi nd the way I spoke to hi m? Brenda furrowed her brows. Him? Yes, Ayers. I know I was a bi t brusque wi th hi m. I hope he doesn t hold any hard feeli ngs. I d hate to upset hi m i n anyway. Why? He cleared hi s throat. Wellbecause I was hopi ng you could put i n a good word for me. Why me? Because you re seei ng hi m. I m worki ng on thi s great i dea that I know he d be i nterested i n fundi ng and She di dn t hear the rest. She d heard i t before numerous ti mes and i t only remi nded her of what bei ng Domi ni c s wi fe s meant. It meant goi ng to award banquets i n hi s honor, bei ng asked about hi s work i nstead of hers, i t meant bei ng i nvi si ble agai n. I thought I told you to schedule i t for next week, Domi ni c told Thomas as they walked down the corri dor of Ayers Corporati on. Today I was planni ng to take Brenda out. Nope, i t s today. Sorry, we must have gotten our communi cati on mi xed up. Domi ni c pushed the door to hi s recepti on offi ce open wi th such force that Natali e jumped. You know that s been happeni ng a lot lately. He stopped and looked at Thomas. I would hate to thi nk i t was on purpose. Why would I want to do that? Domi ni c stared at hi m for a long moment. I m begi nni ng to wonder myself. It s goi ng to be a short meeti ng. I m sure Brenda wi ll understand. Just tell her i t s my fault. Thomas poi nted at Natali e. Call Brenda and tell her that Domi ni c wi ll be runni ng a li ttle late. Then order some flowers and have them deli vered. He turned to Domi ni c. She ll be putty i n your hands when you arri ve. Don t send her flowers, Domi ni c corrected. Send her candy then, Thomas told Natali e. Domi ni c shook hi s head. No, she s not i nto them. I ll send her somethi ng else later. Thomas glanced at hi s watch. Come on. Let s get the folder so we can leave. Domi ni c di sappeared i nto hi s offi ce, then emerged holdi ng a mani la folder. Okay, let s go. They left the recepti on room and were halfway down the hall when

Natali e came runni ng after them. Domi ni c! He spun around. What? It s Brendashe sounded funny on the phone. Funny how? Di stracted as though she wasn t really payi ng attenti on. That s not li ke her. No, Domi ni c sai d, understandi ng her worry. It s not. Thomas rolled hi s eyes. She s probably just annoyed that you cancelled. Come on, Domi ni c. Please, Domi ni c, Natali e sai d. I thi nk you should talk to her. I sti ll have her on the li ne. Thomas tapped hi s watch. We have to get to our meeti ng. Natali e glared at hi m. Brenda s more i mportant. Brenda can handle thi ngs herself. Domi ni c, we ve got to go. I m sure i t s nothi ng. Domi ni c looked at Thomas, then Natali e and made a deci si on. He handed Thomas the folder. Go wi thout me. I ll meet you there, he sai d, then ran back to the offi ce. He grabbed the phone. Brenda? Domi ni c? she sai d, confused. I was just talki ng to Natali e before she put me on hold. Yes, she came and got me. Is somethi ng wrong? Brenda hesi tated, then sai d, I di dn t thi nk so at fi rst, but now I m not sure. Why? There s a funny smell. Li ke what? Li ke gas, but i t couldn t be gas. It s somethi ng else. He gri pped the phone. Li ke what? She gasped and hi s blood ran cold. Brenda? Oh no. Oh my God. The li ne went dead.

Chapter 13 Controlled chaos greeted Domi ni c as he drove close to

Brenda s house. Fi refi ghters rushed i n and out of the house, EMTs checked for vi cti ms, whi le the poli ce fought to keep spectators at bay, but he di dn t care about any of them. He just wanted to make sure Brenda was okay. Si r, a poli ce offi cer sai d, blocki ng hi s path. You have to stay back. I just need to know that she s okay. You ll fi nd out soon. I want to fi nd out now. He searched the area for a si ght of her. Don t force us to arrest you. I don t care. I li ve here and I want to see my wi fe.

Brenda! I m here! a voi ce sai d. It was the sweetest sound he could have ever heard. She ran up the dri veway toward hi m and he pushed passed the annoyed offi cer and gathered her i n hi s arms. He closed hi s eyes, blocki ng out the house, the crowd and the noi se, he just wanted to know that she was there safe wi th hi m i n hi s arms. I m okay, she whi spered. An early autumn leaf fell from a nearby tree and danced across the lawn. He knew he was holdi ng her too ti ght, but somehow he couldn t let go. The last few moments had been hell, all the ni ghtmares he d i magi ned flashi ng through hi s mi nd, each one becomi ng more and more tragi c. Please take me away from here. He relaxed hi s hold. I wi ll. He glanced up at the house; he saw the smoke and fi refi ghters but di dn t see any si gn of burni ng. What happened? It was the water heater. It must have malfuncti oned. They sai d i t wasn t i nstalled properly. He staggered back as though he d been shot. The water heater he d had i nstalled had nearly ki lled her? It probably had an error, she sai d qui ckly, seei ng how her words hurt hi m. Thi s i sn t your fault. That wasn t good enough, he needed answers. He walked up to the Fi re Marshall. What s goi ng on? The water heater was most li kely defecti ve, he sai d. It should never have been i nstalled i n the fi rst place. But that s not all, there was no certi fi cate evi dent. Certi fi cate? What type of certi fi cate? Years ago, Seattle and surroundi ng suburbs i mplemented a law that all water heaters had to be i nstalled by a bonded and li censed fi rm, and before bei ng acti vated, had to be checked by someone from the county and have a certi fi cate put on. There was none. It appears that thi s lady bought a bum heater and then had some fri end of hers i nstall i t. Domi ni c stood i mmobi le, hi s mi nd raci ng and fueli ng hi s anger. Brenda li ghtly touched hi s arm. At least I m all ri ght. He nodded, unable to speak. Li ncoln approached them shaki ng hi s head. Thank God you re all ri ght. You could have been ki lled. I know, she sai d, sendi ng Domi ni c a worri ed glance. I heard of a story where the water heater burst and ki lled the enti re fami ly. Shot ri ght through the roof and took the house off i ts foundati on. Domi ni c di dn t move. Brenda forced a li ght tone. Yes, lucki ly my house i s sti ll standi ng. Li ncoln di dn t take the hi nt. What i f i t had happened

whi le you were sleepi ng? Those fi re fi ghters would be searchi ng for your body. That s enough, Li ncoln. Have you been checked out by the EMTs? You could have burns from the steam. Saw one guy wi th steam burns and hi s ski n started peeli ng off. I m fi ne, she cri ed when Domi ni c lunged for her. She stepped back and held up her hands. Really, thanks. She led Domi ni c away before Li ncoln could upset hi m more. I m telli ng the truth. Brenda was bri efly allowed i nto her house to gather some personal i tems. Lucki ly li ttle damage had been done to the ki tchen, and most of her clothi ng and furni ture survi ved. Thi ngs she had stored i n the basement were the ones that sustai ned the most damage, but the metal trunk survi ved i ntact. Domi ni c helped her pack her car and hi s wi th what they could and then drove to hi s house. The events of the day had left her exhausted and he stayed wi th her unti l she fell asleep, but he knew he couldn t. He had somethi ng to tend to fi rst. Thomas leaped out of bed when someone pounded on hi s front door. Natali e woke up too. Who i s that? he asked her. I don t know, but you d better answer. Thomas wai ted. Sounds li ke they re tryi ng to bust the door down. Then answer i t before they do. It could be a burglar. Burglars don t knock. Thomas grabbed hi s robe and sli ppers, then marched down the stai rs. He checked through the peephole and opened the door. He smi led. Domi ni c, what bri ngs you over at thi s hour? Natali e came up behi nd hi m, holdi ng her robe ti ght. Is somethi ng wrong? It was clear that somethi ng was wrong. Very wrong. Domi ni c looked furi ous. I want to talk to you, he sai d softly. Thomas placed a hand on hi s chest i n surpri se. You want to talk to me? Couldn t you have just called? Yes, but I di dn t come over here to talk to you. I came over to beat the crap out of you, but I want to talk to you fi rst. Thomas swallowed, wonderi ng i f he was joki ng. Would you li ke a dri nk? No. Domi ni c walked past hi m, made hi s way to thei r fami ly room and sat. Thomas turned to Natali e. Pour hi m somethi ng strong. But he doesn t Just do i t.

She rushed away and he took a seat on the couch. What i s the problem? Brenda i s stayi ng at my house because she can t stay at hers. Do you know why? Thomas shook hi s head. Because her water heater malfuncti oned. Natali e set the brandy down on the si de table wi th a clatter. My goodness, i s she okay? I found her watchi ng fi refi ghters securi ng her house, but yes, she s okay. Thank God for that, Thomas sai d. But I m not okay. I don t li ke when my i nstructi ons aren t taken seri ously. Thomas forced a laugh. It was an honest mi stake. What do I know about water heaters? I had a fri end of mi ne Stop lyi ng to me. I know that you di dn t gi ve Brenda my messages. I later di scovered that you di dn t choose the loft, but that someone else di d. You i ni ti ally tri ed to place Brenda i n a cri me-i nfested back alley. That s not true. But someone else ci rcumvented that. I learned i t from the former owner who told me he spoke to a female. I thought there had been a mi sunderstandi ng so I i nvesti gated. When I learned he d dealt wi th Natali e I assumed you d gi ven her the task i nstead. Now I know you di dn t. Thomas spun on Natali e. What the hell di d you thi nk you were doi ng? She lowered her head. Why are you shouti ng at Natali e for savi ng your butt? Look, the studi o thi ng was just me tryi ng to fi nd a place fast and thi s heater busi ness was an acci dent. I di dn t know the damn thi ng would blow. I thought he was a professi onal and I was tryi ng to save cost. Really? Domi ni c s unrelenti ng stare forced Thomas to be honest. She was getti ng i n the way. She s got you all confused agai n. Who s been there for you? Who was there when she left you? Remember that? Remember bei ng handed your di vorce papers? You thi nk she s changed? She just wants your money. And I was goi ng to make sure that she di dn t get i t. Domi ni c leaped up and slammed Thomas agai nst the wall. You could have ki lled her. And you would have been better off. Maybe I should ki ll you i nstead. Go ahead, he scoffed. At least I d know she hadn t completely cut off your balls. You ve gotten soft. We made each other a promi se, remember? We weren t goi ng to let any woman trap us, but you di d. You were ri si ng to the top faster than anyone I ve known and then you let her back i nto

your li fe and fi lled your ti me wi th di nners and danci ng. Does she even know you re up for the Monahan Award? That next week you re goi ng to be honored by your peers? Yes, but wi ll she be by your si de? Of course not. She doesn t want to hear about your accompli shments. She was always jealous of you. Now as much as before. Everythi ng s fi ne between the two of you when i t s all about her. She s wi th you when i t sui ts her. I noti ced she wasn t wi th you at the last two banquets. Do you li ke goi ng alone? That i s none of your busi ness. You are my busi ness. You re my fami ly. You know she s goi ng to leave you agai n. You re holdi ng on so ti ght because you know the moment you let go, she ll walk out of your li fe agai n. I sort of di d you a favor wi th thi s water heater busi ness. You get a chance to play hero. But what happens when she doesn t need you to rescue her anymore? Domi ni c stepped back and released hi m. Yes, I see your logi c. Good. You were just looki ng out for me as you always do. Ri ght. Domi ni c strai ghtened hi s ti e. But you forgot about somethi ng. What? You forgot to thi nk about how I feel about her. You di dn t thi nk that her safety means more to me than my own li fe. Or yours. He turned to Natali e. Wi ll you please excuse us? Thomas stared at hi m. What are you goi ng to do? You know you re fi red. Yes. He rolled up hi s sleeves. Good, then I ve fi ni shed talki ng. Natali e jumped up from her seat on the stai rs when she saw Domi ni c come out of the room. Is he okay? Domi ni c sent her a cool glance, then sai d, He ll li ve. She nodded. He headed for the door, then stopped and looked at her, curi ous. Why do you stay? She shrugged. Conveni ence, but I m not goi ng to stay anymore. Good, because I would li ke to hi re you. Me? To do what? Be my manager. She shook her head, franti c. But I couldn t do that. You ve already done i t, he sai d calmly. It takes a clever woman to outsmart a man li ke Thomas. And I wouldn t have been there for Brenda i f you hadn t made me talk to her. I di dn t hi re you to be my assi stant because Thomas asked me, I hi red you because I knew you could do the job. Now,

you re getti ng a promoti on. What do you say? Natali e hesi tated, then asked, Are you goi ng to ask her to marry you agai n? Domi ni c paused. He hadn t expected that questi on. It s sti ll too soon. You re afrai d she ll say no. Domi ni c folded hi s arms and frowned wi th mock i mpati ence. You re supposed to manage my career, not my love li fe. One affects the other, and I want to make sure you re balanced. I could help you pi ck out ri ngs i f you want. Domi ni c opened the door and couldn t hi de a smi le. I ll let you know.

Chapter 14 Brenda called i n to work the next day and told Chuck what
had happened. After spendi ng ten mi nutes calmi ng hi m down she assured hi m that she was all ri ght and that her house was sti ll standi ng. Later that morni ng she and Domi ni c drove to the house. Thankfully, everythi ng was not destroyed, but i t was not li vable. The steam and water had done i ts damage. She spoke to her i nsurance company and a restorati on company came ri ght away to assess all that needed to be done. Thousands of dollars worth of water damage, Brenda sai d wi th a si gh as she and Domi ni c sat i n hi s sunroom. Sergeant sat by her feet. I won t be able to go back for weeks. Don t worry. I ll cover i t. My i nsurance wi ll cover i t and they ll pay for me to stay at a hotel. Domi ni c sti ffened. Why would you want to stay i n a hotel when you can stay wi th me? I thi nk i t s better that I don t stay here. How can i t be better? You should stay here. It s my fault your house got rui ned. No, i t s not your fault. You di dn t know that i t hadn t been i nstalled correctly. I don t want what has happened to change thi ngs between us. Change what? he demanded. Sergeant looked up at hi m worri ed. How thi ngs are worki ng. Thi s relati onshi p has been great, but I thi nk we should take i t slow. Slow? We ve been seei ng each other for over si x months. It s ti me we made a deci si on. I want you to move i n wi th me. Brenda shook her head. I don t want to li ve wi th you. Then marry me i nstead. She sat there blank. What? she choked.

Marry me. Brenda lowered her head. At last she d heard the questi on she d wanted to hear, but her response surpri sed them both. I can t. Why not? Because you deserve better. What are you talki ng about? I m too ambi ti ous. I want a name of my own and wi th you that s i mpossi ble. It s petty, i t s wrong and I m ashamed to say i t but I don t want to be i n your shadow agai n. He stared at her, perplexed. I don t understand. You re not supposed to because i t s not your fault. You deserve a wi fe who wi ll bask i n the spotli ght of bei ng Mrs. Ayers. I never carri ed the ti tle well. Thomas told me once that you were jealous of me and I di dn t beli eve hi m. He was ri ght. At that ti me I was jealous. Okay, I am sti ll a li ttle jealous, and i t s an awful thi ng to admi t. She looked at her hands because she couldn t look at hi m. Not really, he sai d, forci ng her to look up i n surpri se. I ve been jealous of you. You were doi ng research and taki ng the ti me to really make a di fference. Whi le I di d fluff, by maki ng fi lms and lots of money. I haven t been i n a laboratory i n years. I always admi red your commi tment to solvi ng whatever problem you set out to. I haven t solved anythi ng yet. But you wi ll. My name may be famous now but one day your name wi ll go down i n hi story. He si ghed. I know I ve been bli nd to a lot of thi ngs, and I know i t s hard bei ng connected to me. If I could change i t I would, but I can t. But I promi se you thi s, i n our home only we wi ll matter. You won t have to fi ght for my attenti on; you won t have to fi ght for my ti me. It wi ll be yours. He gathered her hands i n hi s and searched her eyes. I want you back. Not as my lover or my gi rlfri end but as my wi fe. And I won t accept anythi ng less. He let her go and stood. I know i t s a lot to thi nk about so I ll gi ve you ti me, but I won t have you stayi ng i n a hotel. I have a guesthouse. You can stay there for as long as you need. In a week I ll ask you my questi on agai n. Your answer wi ll determi ne whether I stay i n your li fe or not. He left. Sergeant sent her a cani ne look of pi ty, then followed hi s owner. Fi ve days later Brenda sat alone i n the guesthouse wonderi ng how her li fe had come to thi s. A home that was presently uni nhabi table, a man she loved but couldn t li ve wi th, and a li fe that suddenly seemed small. Nearly a year ago she had cared only about her project. Her enti re exi stence depended on i ts success, but i t no longer had that hold on her. Months before, she d been determi ned to fi nd her Ideal

Man, now she had found hi m only to di scover that she was the problem, not hi m. She di dn t deserve all that he d gi ven her or the support of the club. She opened her wallet and looked at the membershi p card. She d fai led them. They d done everythi ng to help her and she had rui ned everythi ng. She searched through her papers, found Rani a s number and called her. Rani a pi cked up on the thi rd ri ng. Hello? Hello, thi s i s Brenda. Hi , Brenda, how are thi ngs? I want to wi thdraw my membershi p from the Soci ety. Rani a was qui et a moment, then sai d, Why? Because I don t have what i t takes. I should be happy wi th my li fe, but I m not. I have fantasti c clothes, I learned how to cook, I m back to i llustrati ng and doi ng what I love, my project got the funds i t needed, and the man I love asked me to marry hi m, but I can t marry hi m. I don t want to be a member anymore. Thi s Soci ety thi ng i s wasted on me. Please wri te to whomever needs to be noti fi ed and remove all my pri vi leges. Rani a laughed. It doesn t work that way. What do you mean? Marci told me she could get my pri vi leges revoked. Marci was exaggerati ng, but that s not the problem. The problem i s that you really don t know what marri age i s all about. You re used to bei ng center stage. You grew up as the only gi rl i n a fami ly of boys, you were always the smartest i n the class. You haven t learned how to be wi th others wi thout tryi ng to compete. Marri age i s about equals. That s the problem. We re not equals. Domi ni c was always better than me. I tri ed bei ng a freelance i llustrator and fai led. He tri ed fi lmmaki ng and succeeded. I tri ed teachi ng and fai led. He tri ed teachi ng and made an i ndustry out of i t. How can I compete wi th that? Why do you need to? Because I want to be noti ced too. I need to be. I can t spend my li fe as just hi s helpmate. That s all my mother was. I m not sayi ng that there s anythi ng wrong wi th bei ng a wi fe and mother. They re i mportant roles and she was happy. She is happy. But I don t want that for myself. I want more. I want to make a di fference. You do make a di fference every day. You ve spent your li fe compari ng yourself to Domi ni c so much you don t reali ze the li ves you ve touched. Not all of us are meant to be known around the world, see our names i n papers and be heard on the radi o. Domi ni c i s li ke a tree. You re li ke a flower. Both have thei r place i s thi s world and can li ve i n harmony. Once you accept that your role i s not as hi s shadow, but as hi s source, happi ness wi ll be yours. Hi s source? Hi s source of what? Brenda, no matter how strong someone i s, all anyone

ever needs i s to be loved. Brenda thought about Rani a s words as she worked late i n her offi ce. Toni ght he expected an answer. She loved Domi ni c, but could she love hi m the way he needed her to? She had to go home and fi nd out. She was about to shut off her computer when Frankli n ran i nto her room. You have to help me, he sai d, terror fi lli ng hi s voi ce. You have to make hi m understand. He trusts you and li stens to you. Tell hi m I di dn t mean to do i t, i t just happened that way. What are you talki ng about? Tell whom what? He searched franti cally around the room. Please, Brenda, help me hi de. But I don t understand. Seconds later Kendell burst i nto her offi ce holdi ng a kni fe.

Chapter 15 He looked awful, as though he hadn t slept i n days. Hi s

expensi ve shoes were cuffed and the hole on hi s jacket sleeve had grown larger. Brenda stared at hi m. What i s goi ng on? Get out of the way, Brenda, Kendell sai d. Thi s has nothi ng to do wi th you. Kendell, put down the kni fe. He poi nted i t at Frankli n. I wi ll after i t has hi s blood on i t. You don t understand, Frankli n sai d, desperate. I had to do i t. You had to steal my i deas? You had to publi sh three of my papers as your own? You had to take my book proposal and submi t i t under your name? You really had to do all that? Look, they wanted an expert on the subject. I thought I was doi ng you a favor. I was goi ng to hi re you as a ghost wri ter and spli t the profi ts. Kendell slowly approached hi m wi th the kni fe held out. Frankli n hi d behi nd Brenda. Do somethi ng! Talk to hi m. There s nothi ng she can say. You stole my work. I ve slaved for months. You know my wi fe i s di vorci ng me? She sai d that I spend too much ti me worki ng. She doesn t get how i mportant i t i s to me, but you do. Brenda slapped Frankli n s hand away when he clutched her arm. Kendell, he s not worth i t. I may lose my job, he sai d mi serably. My performance revi ews aren t the greatest and I haven t publi shed enough. I can make sure that doesn t happen, she assured hi m.

I ve gi ven everythi ng to thi s school and thi s i s how I m repai d. Your li fe i s not over. You have a lot to li ve for. You can save your marri age and your career, but you can t do that from pri son. She held out her hand. Gi ve me the kni fe. You re ri ght, he sai d wi th an eeri e resi gnati on. I wouldn t want to go to pri son. It just doesn t seem that li fe i s worth li vi ng. He turned the kni fe to hi mself. Oh no, you don t, Brenda sai d, knowi ng she couldn t face another sui ci de. She pi cked up a book and threw i t at hi m as she would throw a football to one of her brothers. The book hi t hi m on the si de of the head, knocki ng hi m down. She grabbed hi s kni fe, then checked hi s i njury as he lay on the ground dazed. Good ai m, Frankli n sai d. Shut up. She touched Kendell s forehead, then helped hi m si t up. You ll be all ri ght. He stole everythi ng from me, he sai d i n a broken whi sper. We ll make sure he doesn t get away wi th i t. I ll help you. You mean you beli eve me? He sai d no one would. He says a lot of thi ngs that aren t true. She helped hi m stand. Go home and promi se me you won t do anythi ng stupi d. I promi se. Brenda watched hi m leave, then turned to Frankli n, who was adjusti ng hi s ti e as though he d just suffered an i nconveni ence i nstead of an attack on hi s li fe. I should press charges, he sai d. Brenda pi cked up the kni fe and looked at i t. I can understand why he would want to ki ll you. Frankli n looked at her as though she bored hi m. Is that some sort of threat? No, I could never stab you. She touched the ti p of the kni fe. But I remember how angry I was when I di scovered you stole my work. Hi s eyes wi dened. You knew? Of course I knew. But you never sai d anythi ng. No, but I m goi ng to say somethi ng now. I want you to admi t your plagi ari sm and resi gn. He laughed. I ll do no such thi ng. Yes, you wi ll. Brenda pi cked up the phone. He rushed over and stopped her. Who are you calli ng? Why do you care? Do you want money? I can gi ve i t to you. I want you to resi gn. Now. Where would I go? I m establi shed here. You can t do thi s to me. He strai ghtened. I bet you re just bluffi ng. You ll

probably call Domi ni c, but he can t do anythi ng to me. If he lays a hand on me, I ll sue. Besi des he s gotten hi s revenge. What are you talki ng about? I don t know how the bastard di d i t, but no other uni versi ty wi ll hi re me. Why the hell do you thi nk I ve been stuck here all these years? How do you know i t was hi m? We had a chat one day about you. I won t bore you wi th the detai ls, but he explai ned a few thi ngs to me. I thought he was upset because I broke your heart. Frankli n clenched hi s hands. I m meant for great thi ngs and he stopped me, but I ve managed to get around hi s chi ldi sh sabotage. And you see how I ve succeeded. Yes, I see, she sai d qui etly. She li fted the phone. I m not calli ng Domi ni c. I have my own connecti ons. He yanked i t from her. What the hell i s thi s really about? So I put my name on two of your papers, so what? I made them better. I got them seen and I would have taken you places i f you d stayed wi th me. She sent hi m a cold stare. Resi gn. He stared back wi th contempt. Never, and there s nothi ng you can do about i t. Brenda sat behi nd her desk and clasped her hands together as though ready to gi ve a lecture. I revi ewed all of Kendell s papers and have the rough drafts wi th my comments. She pulled out a thi ck fi le and waved i t at hi m. Thi nk of how i t wi ll look i f I make them avai lable so they can be compared to your publi shed arti cles? She held hi s stare. I also have my old papers. What do you say to that? Frankli n took one step forward, fury i n hi s eyes, then stopped as the reali ty of hi s defeat faced hi m. Hi s shoulders fell and he walked away. Brenda rested her head i n her hands tryi ng to process all that had happened. She d thought seei ng Frankli n lose everythi ng would make her feel more tri umphant, but a part of her felt sorry for hi m. Hi s career and reputati on was everythi ng and now i t was gone. Brenda stood. Fortunately that wasn t how her li fe would be. She packed her thi ngs and left the offi ce. When she went outsi de, she saw Kendell standi ng by her car. I thought I told you to go home, she sai d. I wanted to thank you. I was bli nded by rage and obsessed about all that he d stolen. I d really lost i t. Thi ngs wi ll work out. She gave hi m a hug. Suddenly, he sti ffened and she felt somethi ng was wrong, even before she jerked back and turned. Kendell s wi fe stood there, her soft dark curls surroundi ng a face fi lled wi th horror. I knew i t wasn t just work, she cri ed. Our marri age i s over. She spun away.

Kendell started to run after her, but Brenda grabbed hi s arm and shouted at the woman, Come back here. Now, i n her most authori tati ve voi ce. The young woman stopped and slowly turned. Come on, Brenda sai d i mpati ently. The woman walked toward them, then stopped a few feet away. I am flattered, Brenda sai d. But there s nothi ng, absolutely nothi ng goi ng on between us. The fact that you would thi nk so i s sad. Sad? she sai d wi th a sour twi st of her li ps. She poi nted to Kendell. He s always here and he s always telli ng me how great you are. And all the thi ngs you re helpi ng hi m wi th. Tears gathered i n her eyes. He talks as though thi s i s hi s li fe. Thi s i s my li fe, Kendell sai d. I want to be a great professor. I want to see my name i n trade journals. You knew that when we got marri ed. But what about me? I can t compete wi th thi s. She gestured to the expansi ve bui ldi ng and grounds. But I m doi ng thi s for you. I don t want you to. Brenda moved forward and took hi s wi fe s hand, sensi ng her pai n. I know how you feel. Years ago I di vorced my husband for the same reason. I couldn t compete wi th hi s dream, but I never told hi m what I needed from hi m. I never gave hi m the chance to change. You re both maki ng mi stakes at thi s moment, but that can be fi xed. Tell hi m exactly what you want. Don t make hi m guess. Hi s wi fe looked at hi m. I want you to be home so we can eat di nner together. Do thi ngs on the weekend. I just want to be wi th you and talk about other thi ngs and not just about your work. Can you understand that? Brenda turned to hi m. And what do you want from her? I want her to li sten Brenda shook her head and forced hi m to face hi s wi fe. Talk to her. He took a deep breath. I want you to li sten to me when I talk about my career and not to pretend. I want you to understand how i mportant thi s i s to me. Brenda nodded, pleased, and folded her arms. Okay, now that you know what you both want, how can you fi x i t? Kendell si ghed. I won t schedule late classes anymore and I ll leave one day a month just for us. We can go on a date. Hi s wi fe nodded. And I won t bother you about the ti me i t takes you to grade papers or your late ni ghts, but I want to select where we ll go on our dates. She tenderly touched hi s cheek. He wi ped her tears. Brenda rested her hands on her hi ps. You love each other but you can t expect everythi ng to be perfect. You

have to work at i t and the moment i t becomes a competi ti on, where one of you has to wi n, i nstead of a compromi se where you work together, your marri age wi ll end. She shook her head i n regret. I know. Thank you, Kendell sai d, putti ng hi s arm around hi s wi fe s shoulders. She smi led at Brenda. I can see why Kendell talks about you. You are wonderful. Thank you for everythi ng. You re welcome. Brenda watched them go, wi shi ng someone had been around when her own marri age had hi t a rough patch. But she was older and wi ser now and had a second chance. She fi nally reali zed the one thi ng she d never told Domi ni c throughout thei r marri age. She d sai d I love you, I want you, I need you, but never the three words she now knew he needed to hear. She would have to tell hi m now. She would let hi m know he was the only man for her and that she di dn t have to look any further. Wi th her heart bursti ng to tell hi m how she felt, Brenda pulled out her cell phone and di aled Domi ni c s number. Unfortunately, she couldn t reach hi m on hi s cell phone or at hi s offi ce. She returned to the guesthouse, put her thi ngs down, then ran to the mai n house. Natali e came out the door just as she was about to knock. Brenda, Natali e sai d, surpri sed. Yes, she stammered, just as surpri sed to see her. I wanted to talk to Domi ni c. He s not here. He s at the premi er showi ng of hi s fi lm on global polluti on. You know, The Monahan Awards. But when he got there, I saw the horrendous ti e he was weari ng and he got there, I saw the horrendous ti e he was weari ng and begged hi m to gi ve me hi s keys so I could get hi m another one. He had menti oned hi s award. He was guest of honor. She had forgotten about i t because all hi s awards hadn t meant anythi ng to her. She bi t her li p, feeli ng awful. Can I take i t to hi m? Natali e smi led. I ll help you dress. Brenda thought about the gown i n her metal box. I know exactly what to wear. Tonight he would get his answer, Domi ni c thought. He stood behi nd the black curtai n wi th hi s yo-yo, unconcerned wi th what would happen i n front of i t. All he cared about was getti ng Brenda s answer. After hi s speech, he d shake some hands and smi le at a few faces, then go to the guesthouse and fi nd out what hi s future held. He glanced at hi s watch; he d have to go on soon. Where was Natali e? She only needed to grab a ti e. He had hundreds. Suddenly, i n the darkness backstage he saw a si lvery ski rt come i nto vi ew. He di dn t remember Natali e

weari ng a ski rt, but he hadn t been payi ng much attenti on. Thanks, Natali e, he sai d, wi ndi ng up hi s yo-yo. Want me to ti e i t for you? He stopped. That wasn t Natali e s voi ce. Domi ni c glanced up and stared at Brenda, astoni shed. She looked ravi shi ng i n a floor-length si lver ball gown, wi th her hai r pi led hi gh, weari ng a pai r of semi -preci ous stone hoop earri ngs and a pai r of si lver hi gh heels. What are you doi ng here? he sai d i n a hoarse voi ce. She draped the ti e around hi s neck. Fi xi ng your ti e. He shook hi s head. That s not what I mean. I m here because I should be. He frowned, not understandi ng her. She ki ssed hi m. Do you want your answer now or later? Hi s heart began to race. Brenda. I The announcer s boomi ng voi ce cut through hi s. It i s our pri vi lege to honor the renowned Dr. Domi ni c Ayers thi s eveni ng Nei ther of them heard the rest of the i ntroducti on as they stared at each other. Domi ni c looked at her wanti ng to hear the word he d been wai ti ng a week for. Brenda qui ckly hugged hi m then sai d, Go out there and accept your award. I m proud of you and i t wi ll be an honor to be your wi fe. She smi led. Agai n. He ki ssed her as though hi s heart would break i f he let her go. She ki ssed hi m back wi th just as much passi on, then pulled away. You have to go. I love you, he sai d i n a rush. It s always been you. You stole my heart years ago and never gave i t back. I ll make you happy and I ll make you proud. And I ll She placed a fi nger agai nst hi s li ps. You don t have to do anythi ng. I love you just as you are. She pushed hi m toward the curtai n. Now go. He sent her one last look before di sappeari ng i n front of the curtai n to the thunderous sound of applause.

Chapter 16 Domi ni c was besi eged by well-wi shers and wannabes

once the presentati on was over. Brenda di dn t mi nd. She stood si lently besi de hi m baski ng i n the glow of hi s success. She smi led graci ously, feeli ng genui nely happy for hi m and, for the fi rst ti me, reali zi ng hi s success was also hers. She no longer felt the need to compete or to be envi ous. Four weeks later they were marri ed. Nearly a year after that, thei r book, An Introduction to the Fantastic World of Science, hi t the shelves and became a bestseller. Brenda sat i n her offi ce stari ng at the pi cture of her

husband. She pi cked up the postcard she d just recei ved showi ng an aeri al vi ew of Alaska, lyi ng on her desk. Someone knocked. Come i n. Domi ni c entered. I m taki ng you to lunch. I ll be wi th you i n a mi nute, Brenda sai d, fli ppi ng the postcard over. He walked behi nd her chai r and rested hi s hands on her shoulders. I thought I was the only one who sent you postcards. Are you jealous? Depends who i t s from. It s from Sonya. She s telli ng me about her new research project i n Alaska. I know i t was hard for her to leave you. Yes. It had surpri sed Brenda how much she mi ssed Sonya s bouncy enthusi asm, clever mi nd and bi g heart. She qui ckly read the message then stopped when she saw a doodle sketched i n the margi ns. Domi ni c leaned closer and saw i t too. What s that? Looks li ke the state of Flori da. No, i t s not, Brenda sai d, then laughed. It s a stocki ng. She knew! He frowned. Knew what? Brenda slowly stood and rested a hand on her belly, feeli ng the new li fe that was growi ng i nsi de her. She looked at Domi ni c, the man she d nearly lost forever. What I needed. ISBN: 978-1-4268-2664-1 BODY CHEMISTRY Copyri ght 2009 by Sade Odubi yi All ri ghts reserved. The reproducti on, transmi ssi on or uti li zati on of thi s work i n whole or i n part i n any form by any electroni c, mechani cal or other means, now known or hereafter i nvented, i ncludi ng xerography, photocopyi ng and recordi ng, or i n any i nformati on storage or retri eval system, i s forbi dden wi thout wri tten permi ssi on. For permi ssi on please contact Ki mani Press, Edi tori al Offi ce, 233 Broadway, New York, NY 10279 U.S.A. Thi s i s a work of fi cti on. Names, characters, places and i nci dents are ei ther the product of the author s i magi nati on or are used fi cti ti ously, and any resemblance to actual persons, li vi ng or dead, busi ness establi shments, events or locales i s enti rely coi nci dental. and TM are trademarks. Trademarks i ndi cated wi th are regi stered i n the Uni ted States Patent and Trademark Offi ce, the Canadi an Trade Marks Offi ce and/or other countri es. www.ki mani press.com