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WEEK 3: WEEK 4:
WINNING CHANGING ALL
FRIENDS AND THE RULES
INFLUENCING It's week four and I'm feeling
battered from my self-help journey.
pAq
PEOPLE
Of all the self-help books this month,
To make matters worse, Ellen Fein
and Sherrie Schneider have told me
h-
A
Dale Carnegie's creation is the least I made some fatal relationship \y
crazy. But like the booktitle, How mistakes three years ago, and have
To Win Friends And Influence People, continued to kill any chance at
suggests, it has that element of happiness. I showed interest in my
insanity, which seems to be a must boyfriend, returned his calls, let
fol authors in the self-help market. them last for longer than four

/$
This is the mac-daddy of all self- minutes, and I paid for things.
help books. It was written in 1936, Wrong, wrong, wrong.
and has sold more than 15 million
copies. Its goal? To teach you how
to manipulate people into doing
The Complete Book Of Rules
taught me women must play hard
to get, because, biologically, men x
'. 1

what you want, while keeping them

blissfully unaware. Brilliant.
According to Carnegie, if I smile,
remember names, be grateful and
are the hunters. When wanting
to attract a mate, do what wild
animals do: act innocent and
don't say too much.
?
5l
tlatter shamelessly, people should Although written in 1998,
submit to my every whim. Sure, these women seem unaware
it's a little nasty to play games with their sisters burnt bras in the
your friends just so they will do your name of liberation.
dirty work, but I wanted to see "Don't leave the house
\t
whether his Jedi mind trick would without wearing make-up. Put
o
turn them into my genies.
I started by telling my friend how
lipstick on even when you go
jogging," they say. "Ifyou have .(o
o-o rss
wonderful she was. I used sentences
that started with "I feel" before
a bad nose, get a nose job."
ge- fr
I couldn't bring myself
dEr b/
I tactfully suggested I wanted a
coff'ee. When she asked for money,
to try out what these ladies
had suggested. I figured !.5 FF
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I looked deep into her eyes, said
her name, and told her how talented
and beautiful she was. She told
cosmetic surgery was too
painful and costly to test.
If what they say is true, and
!5'oq
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5.
L A)
H l/l
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me to cut the crap and cough up. the only way to get a man
Carnegie, if only you were still is by oppressing yourself,
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alive to show me how to create I'd prefer to be a lonely
true magic and save some coin. spinster, with a real nose.
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