"Waking Up: or how one girl's suffering turned out to be the greatest thing that happened to her" Intro

I was born a Highly Sensitive Person. Basically meaning my neural system has bee n extremely over-sensitive since birth. External and internal stimuli can be ver y overwhelming for me. A simple change in temperature can put my body into a fre nzy (if I let it). It is said that about 20% of Earths population is born a High ly Sensitive Person. Chpt 1 Throughout my teenage years I struggled greatly with certain body disorders. The se body disorders prevented me from showing my legs ever, couldn't even go swimm ing. And on top of that I was also very shy and awkward, I had no sense in style whatsoever. Quite unlike all the young teens nowadays. (They seem to want to gr ow up too fast, dress and act like college girls.) My emotions were high these teen years. I became extremely depressed to the poin t I didn't even want to go to school. I dropped out of high school for several m onths. I got an anxiety disorder at the sudden age of 16. I wondered what the purpose of my existence was if I couldn't even lead a normal life. (also not to mention I left out some crucial events, such as being sexual ly harassed, and times I felt like I was going insane due to being too much in t he mental, making me contemplate my death in advance). I could never get myself to kill myself off because then I would know I have liv ed a life less than meaningful. Plus, I could never do that to my family. Chpt 2 It wasn't til my later teenage years when I decided I'd live life not for myself but for others. In 2008 I was struck with an even more severe anxiety disorder: Agoraphobia, too anxious and afraid to even leave the house! Was sent off to Ho uston to live with my sister and help her with my newly born niece. Now I unders tand I needed that great moment in my life. I became AWAKENED. Since I had nothi ng else to do, I started to become aware of political matters and events around the world. I studied on the Rebels from Sudan and Somalia and how they were recr uiting young boys to slaughter whole villages. I studied on EZLN, Palestine, and the freedom fighters there. It all happened so suddenly. I even became paranoid . Wondered why I was so stuck on my problems that I became too blind to the prob lems of the world. I made a poem that year in that exact moment of my awakening: "My thoughts racin' who is to trust, who is to blame? the streets feed us, society mistreats us, and government wanna beat us til we out in the cold they backstab me, bleedin I am, will I suffocate in this pain? or will I die with the visual of hatred being a ritual? have I sold my soul and not even notice? 'cause material things will do that and fade out your focus miscommunication, degradation my mind is blowing up tryna control us with perpetual manipulation the fact of reality is we are blinded to the truth we gotta step up and regenerate the youth time to step out the line find yourself,

Define yourself open up your third eye and realize the real lies." As you can see awakening can come as very disturbing, but it is something much n eeded. Ever since then I am more interested in learning than focusing on my own earthly problems.

Chpt 3 I also started researching on past lives, reincarnation, the purpose of our soul s, etc. I learned that everything and everybody has a purpose. We plan our lives before we enter these bodies. We even choose these specific bodies for a reason . So if you're ever feeling down or have low self esteem remember that you chose that body for certain reasons. "Much unhappiness is created by society stereoty ping an ideal image." Go beyond the image, you are not your body. But if you don 't accept your body or are too interested in what others think of you, you will be clashing your WHOLE life, creating turmoil and suffering for yourself. Understand it is one of your great lessons, to learn to love and fully accept yo urself. By loving yourself Mind Body & Soul, you create your own freedom. You're free.

Chpt 4 About a year or two later I was getting caught up with the same old earthly prob lems and desires, wishing I had a normal life and such. I was still learning but I was again forgetting my soul purpose. I started studying more works by Zapati sta Subcomondante Marcos and read the book Revolutionary Suicide by co-founder o f the Black Panther Party, Huey P Newton. He had written a poem called Revolutio nary Suicide. "By having no family ... I inherited the family of humanity By having no possessions ... I have possessed all By rejecting the love of one ... I received the love of all By surrendering my life to the revolution ... I found eternal life Revolutionary Suicide" When I first read it it resonated deeply within me. The universe loves to send u s reminders of our life and soul purpose... Little sparks that will help ignite our soul burning desire. I became an advocate for something greater than merely my own self. Living life for the greater of humanity. Not for selfish reasons.

Chpt 5, I then knew I was here to help others. I have to put my life to the side so I ca n do so. But in order to help awaken, fully love, and heal others I would have t o do so with myself first. My disorders have prevented me from living a fully functional and normal life . Buy my disorders have also taught me about this world, my true self, and compass ion for everyone. Our higher selves know precisely why we choose these bodies, c

ircumstances, and battles we have to overcome. Believe it or not it is actually for our highest good.

Chpt 6, The Ending When you leave this earth what are you leaving behind? Don't become just another speck in this vast universe who forgot their true purpose. Don't become lost wi thin your own little world when beauty, truth, and Oneness awaits you. Go beyond your little box, go beyond your boundaries and see this universe for what it is ; Alive and One with you.